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1
00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,838
(engine rumbling)
2
00:00:07,440 --> 00:00:09,142
- Sure was nice of the Mads to give us
3
00:00:09,142 --> 00:00:10,777
this fancy new vehicle.
4
00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:14,914
Maybe now we can do some real
super-villain-type stuff.
5
00:00:14,914 --> 00:00:17,183
- Cool your jets, little buddy.
6
00:00:17,183 --> 00:00:19,552
A meteor strike last week busted a hole
7
00:00:19,552 --> 00:00:21,888
in the Gizmoplex fluid tanks.
8
00:00:21,888 --> 00:00:24,357
Now there's Kingachrome in the basement.
9
00:00:24,357 --> 00:00:25,191
- Ugh.
10
00:00:25,191 --> 00:00:27,927
Maybe being a Bonehead ain't
what it's cracked up to be.
11
00:00:27,927 --> 00:00:28,795
- Maybe not.
12
00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:32,098
But the benefits are good.
13
00:00:32,098 --> 00:00:33,366
- What?
14
00:00:33,366 --> 00:00:35,135
You get benefits?
15
00:00:35,135 --> 00:00:37,270
(people chattering)
16
00:00:37,270 --> 00:00:39,139
- [GPC] Yeah, just pick one.
17
00:00:39,139 --> 00:00:41,241
- Oh, hey, welcome to
the Simulator of Love.
18
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,075
- Hi.
19
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:44,377
- The bots say today is their
annual condiment taste test,
20
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:47,447
and wow, I'm in a bit of a pickle here.
21
00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:51,351
Oh, I think I'm gonna go
with the classic ranch.
22
00:00:51,351 --> 00:00:52,919
Because I'm from America,
so I don't really
23
00:00:52,919 --> 00:00:57,257
like too much flavor, and
this mayo is just too spicy.
24
00:00:57,257 --> 00:00:59,526
- My pick has to be the dijon mustard.
25
00:00:59,526 --> 00:01:01,094
- Oh.
- It's got a subtle kick
26
00:01:01,094 --> 00:01:02,562
that's worth rolling down the window
27
00:01:02,562 --> 00:01:04,264
of your Rolls-Royce for.
28
00:01:04,264 --> 00:01:06,800
- I'm going with sriracha,
because it's fun to say.
29
00:01:06,800 --> 00:01:09,335
Sri-ra-cha-cha-cha-cha.
30
00:01:09,335 --> 00:01:11,371
- Oh, oh, oh.
31
00:01:11,371 --> 00:01:14,441
My sauce today is banana sauce.
32
00:01:14,441 --> 00:01:18,078
Banana sauce is made of mashed up bananas,
33
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:20,847
sugar, vinegar, and spices.
34
00:01:20,847 --> 00:01:25,285
Banana sauce is the number one
condiment of the Philippines.
35
00:01:26,453 --> 00:01:30,523
Banana sauce is also
called banana ketchup.
36
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:31,858
- Wait, Crow.
37
00:01:31,858 --> 00:01:32,692
- Hmm?
38
00:01:32,692 --> 00:01:35,595
- You're just reading something
you printed off Wikipedia.
39
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:36,996
Wait...
40
00:01:36,996 --> 00:01:39,265
Wait, do bots even have taste buds?
41
00:01:40,300 --> 00:01:43,403
(bots laughing)
42
00:01:43,403 --> 00:01:44,904
- She fell for it, you guys!
43
00:01:44,904 --> 00:01:46,106
Oh, robot taste test.
44
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:49,375
- Maybe next we'll have a
robot weight loss clinic.
45
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,111
- Or a robot blood drive!
46
00:01:51,111 --> 00:01:52,745
(bots laughing)
47
00:01:52,745 --> 00:01:54,147
- Not cool, guys.
48
00:01:55,849 --> 00:01:58,685
I really thought we were having fun.
49
00:01:58,685 --> 00:02:01,254
(upbeat music)
50
00:02:04,457 --> 00:02:07,527
♪ In the not too distant future ♪
51
00:02:07,527 --> 00:02:10,964
♪ Next Sunday afternoon ♪
52
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:15,969
♪ The evil Kinga Forrester
ran her empire from the moon ♪
53
00:02:17,036 --> 00:02:20,173
♪ Her latest plan was the Gizmoplex ♪
54
00:02:20,173 --> 00:02:23,042
♪ A twisted scheme based on stolen specs ♪
55
00:02:23,042 --> 00:02:26,045
♪ Now she's pulling the strings
from the old moon base ♪
56
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:27,914
♪ And she's back to her experiments ♪
57
00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:32,619
♪ With prisoners out in space ♪
58
00:02:32,619 --> 00:02:35,488
♪ I'll send them cheesy movies ♪
59
00:02:35,488 --> 00:02:37,991
♪ The worst motion picture wrecks ♪
60
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:38,825
♪ La la la ♪
61
00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:41,561
♪ They'll have to sit and watch them all ♪
62
00:02:41,561 --> 00:02:44,197
♪ And we'll stream 'em at the Gizmoplex ♪
63
00:02:44,197 --> 00:02:45,031
♪ La la la ♪
64
00:02:45,031 --> 00:02:47,734
♪ Now keep in mind they can't control ♪
65
00:02:47,734 --> 00:02:50,270
♪ Where the movies begin or end ♪
66
00:02:50,270 --> 00:02:51,204
♪ La la la ♪
67
00:02:51,204 --> 00:02:54,007
♪ They'll have to keep their sanity ♪
68
00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:59,012
♪ With the help of their robot friends ♪
69
00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:00,613
♪ Robot roll call ♪
70
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:02,081
♪ Cambot ♪
- And action.
71
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:03,116
♪ GPC ♪
- Which one?
72
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:05,251
♪ Tom Servo ♪
- That's me!
73
00:03:05,251 --> 00:03:06,352
♪ Crooooow ♪
74
00:03:06,352 --> 00:03:09,656
♪ If you're wondering
how eat and breathe ♪
75
00:03:09,656 --> 00:03:11,991
♪ And other science facts ♪
76
00:03:11,991 --> 00:03:12,825
♪ La la la ♪
77
00:03:12,825 --> 00:03:15,528
♪ Then repeat to yourself,
"It's just a show ♪
78
00:03:15,528 --> 00:03:18,698
♪ I should really just relax" ♪
79
00:03:18,698 --> 00:03:22,936
♪ For Mystery Science Theater 3000 ♪
80
00:03:28,274 --> 00:03:29,876
- No, don't be mad.
81
00:03:29,876 --> 00:03:32,312
- Come on, we always haze the new host.
82
00:03:32,312 --> 00:03:35,481
- Yeah, we sent the last guy undercover
83
00:03:35,481 --> 00:03:38,418
as a contestant at a beauty pageant.
84
00:03:38,418 --> 00:03:39,886
- Wait, you did what?
85
00:03:39,886 --> 00:03:43,122
Hey, Crow, that's the plot
of "Miss Congeniality."
86
00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:44,457
- Oh, right.
87
00:03:44,457 --> 00:03:47,393
- Kick it to the curb, the
Spice Girls are calling.
88
00:03:47,393 --> 00:03:49,429
- And then you take the big piece
89
00:03:49,429 --> 00:03:51,798
and put it on the other piece.
90
00:03:51,798 --> 00:03:52,865
- Which one is the other piece?
91
00:03:52,865 --> 00:03:54,667
- The piece that's not the big piece!
92
00:03:54,667 --> 00:03:56,502
- You know, this would go a lot faster
93
00:03:56,502 --> 00:03:58,071
if you would let me
look at the instructions
94
00:03:58,071 --> 00:03:59,839
for constructing the Luugenborg!
95
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,140
- And give away my advantage?
96
00:04:01,140 --> 00:04:01,975
Never.
97
00:04:02,875 --> 00:04:04,978
Invention exchange, pep boys.
98
00:04:04,978 --> 00:04:06,279
You go first.
99
00:04:06,279 --> 00:04:07,113
Oh!
100
00:04:07,113 --> 00:04:07,947
- No!
101
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:08,915
No!
102
00:04:08,915 --> 00:04:10,883
- So you're throwing a fancy dinner party,
103
00:04:10,883 --> 00:04:14,153
but regular coasters are just too boring.
104
00:04:14,153 --> 00:04:15,888
- All they do is sit there.
105
00:04:15,888 --> 00:04:17,890
- Lousy, lazy coaster.
106
00:04:17,890 --> 00:04:19,058
- [Bots] Dah!
107
00:04:19,058 --> 00:04:22,028
- So we created the roller coaster.
108
00:04:22,028 --> 00:04:24,631
The roller coaster makes
every potent potable
109
00:04:24,631 --> 00:04:26,899
into a show-stopping thrill ride.
110
00:04:26,899 --> 00:04:27,867
Just watch.
111
00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:29,902
- Attention drink, you must be this full
112
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:31,437
to ride the roller coaster.
113
00:04:31,437 --> 00:04:34,207
All hands and feet inside the ride.
114
00:04:34,207 --> 00:04:35,475
- Oh, here it goes up the hill.
115
00:04:35,475 --> 00:04:36,409
- Here it goes.
116
00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:38,111
- Oh, it's a little higher than I thought.
117
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:42,749
There it goes, there it goes, and now!
118
00:04:42,749 --> 00:04:44,083
- Here come the loops!
119
00:04:44,083 --> 00:04:45,218
One!
- Whoa!
120
00:04:45,218 --> 00:04:47,020
- Two!
- Whoa!
121
00:04:47,020 --> 00:04:48,187
- Three!
122
00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:50,523
- Whoa, on the corkscrew!
123
00:04:50,523 --> 00:04:51,357
Whoa...
124
00:04:52,325 --> 00:04:53,393
- That's where it gets its picture taken.
125
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:54,861
- Say cheese!
126
00:04:54,861 --> 00:04:55,695
- Hey!
127
00:04:56,763 --> 00:04:59,632
And it didn't spill a single drop.
128
00:04:59,632 --> 00:05:01,134
What do you think, sirs?
129
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:03,636
- Hmm, I think we've got an even better
130
00:05:03,636 --> 00:05:05,204
entertaining pro tip.
131
00:05:05,204 --> 00:05:08,474
What's the single greatest
invention in human history?
132
00:05:08,474 --> 00:05:09,575
- Penic...
133
00:05:09,575 --> 00:05:12,345
Oh no, corn co holders!
- Exactly.
134
00:05:12,345 --> 00:05:14,180
But why just corn?
135
00:05:14,180 --> 00:05:16,683
There's lots of food you
want your mouth to touch,
136
00:05:16,683 --> 00:05:17,784
but not your hands.
137
00:05:17,784 --> 00:05:20,119
- Like a whole buttery turkey!
138
00:05:20,119 --> 00:05:21,020
Behold!
139
00:05:21,020 --> 00:05:24,457
- With our corn cob
turkey holders, you can...
140
00:05:25,491 --> 00:05:26,326
You can...
141
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:28,027
You can...
142
00:05:29,228 --> 00:05:31,898
Okay, stop, stop, just stop,
get outta here, go, get out!
143
00:05:31,898 --> 00:05:33,299
Get out.
144
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:37,170
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, well,
listen, you saw what I saw.
145
00:05:37,170 --> 00:05:39,238
Anyway, today's experiment is what happens
146
00:05:39,238 --> 00:05:41,874
when you take the title
of a public domain novel,
147
00:05:41,874 --> 00:05:44,510
fill it up with
sub-Battlestar Galactica junk,
148
00:05:44,510 --> 00:05:46,746
and then dump a Jack Palance on top.
149
00:05:46,746 --> 00:05:49,282
I dare you to understand H.G. Wells'
150
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,384
"The Shape of Things to Come,"
151
00:05:51,384 --> 00:05:53,286
and yes, that's the whole title.
152
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,821
Flush them the movie!
153
00:05:56,989 --> 00:05:57,990
Stop eating!
154
00:05:59,625 --> 00:06:00,526
Ugh!
155
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,395
- [Ardy] Movie in the hole!
156
00:06:02,395 --> 00:06:04,163
(toilet flushing)
157
00:06:04,163 --> 00:06:05,798
- I just don't understand why you couldn't
158
00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:08,368
build the coaster big
enough for me to ride on it.
159
00:06:08,368 --> 00:06:09,936
(alarm blaring)
(all shouting)
160
00:06:09,936 --> 00:06:11,604
- We got movie sign!
161
00:06:12,672 --> 00:06:16,409
(doors whirring and banging)
162
00:06:19,979 --> 00:06:22,715
(dramatic music)
163
00:06:30,490 --> 00:06:32,091
- [Tom] Ooh, I hope "The
Shape of Things to Come"
164
00:06:32,091 --> 00:06:33,292
is a rhombus.
165
00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:36,095
- Nah, Team Triangle for me.
- What?
166
00:06:36,095 --> 00:06:39,265
Oh my goodness.
167
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:43,336
- [Crow] You are my number
one on the call sheet.
168
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:47,740
- [Tom] George, your last
name, it's in danger!
169
00:06:52,311 --> 00:06:54,414
- [Emily] You know, that
Cosmo article was right.
170
00:06:54,414 --> 00:06:56,682
Vertical spaceships are slimming.
171
00:06:56,682 --> 00:06:59,285
- [Bots] Mm-hmm.
172
00:06:59,285 --> 00:07:01,587
- [Crow] Oh, this is
just like "Spaceballs!"
173
00:07:01,587 --> 00:07:03,890
Rick Moranis good in everything.
174
00:07:04,957 --> 00:07:06,459
- [Tom] I only have one marble,
175
00:07:06,459 --> 00:07:08,761
but it's a super cool one.
176
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:11,431
(mysterious music)
177
00:07:11,431 --> 00:07:12,532
- [Crow] Fries are up.
178
00:07:15,535 --> 00:07:18,404
- [Emily] Ugh, swipe left,
swipe left, swipe left.
179
00:07:18,404 --> 00:07:21,474
Oh, tight abs and a Tesla, swipe right.
180
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:22,942
- [Narrator] This is Washington.
181
00:07:22,942 --> 00:07:25,878
New Washington, a thriving colony
182
00:07:25,878 --> 00:07:27,447
on the surface of the moon.
183
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,815
- [Tom] You can tell it's the moon
184
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:31,651
because they're wearing
moon boots, obviously.
185
00:07:31,651 --> 00:07:33,719
- [Emily] Woman be typin', am I right?
186
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:35,087
(bots chuckling)
187
00:07:35,087 --> 00:07:36,556
- Galactic warship.
188
00:07:36,556 --> 00:07:39,192
- Not today, but maybe tomorrow.
189
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:40,493
- For what purpose?
190
00:07:40,493 --> 00:07:42,328
To wage war with the universe?
191
00:07:42,328 --> 00:07:45,431
- No, Senator Smedley, for the
defense of our moon colony.
192
00:07:46,365 --> 00:07:48,267
- [Crow] Whoa, whoa, we're not ready!
193
00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:51,304
- [Tom] Bring it back to third gear!
194
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,873
- [Emily] Whoa, that's
Speak & Spell got jacked!
195
00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:55,942
- John, this is total madness.
196
00:07:55,942 --> 00:07:57,643
This creation of yours, Starstreak.
197
00:07:57,643 --> 00:07:59,979
- Ew.
(Tom Servo chuckles)
198
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:00,813
- Been tested.
199
00:08:00,813 --> 00:08:01,948
We don't even know if
the damn thing will fly.
200
00:08:01,948 --> 00:08:04,450
- That's my responsibility, Senator.
201
00:08:04,450 --> 00:08:05,852
- [Tom] You wound me, sir.
202
00:08:05,852 --> 00:08:07,820
- My responsibility is
to the Moon Council.
203
00:08:07,820 --> 00:08:09,589
- [Emily] And the style Council.
204
00:08:09,589 --> 00:08:11,090
- And to the Master Computer.
205
00:08:12,558 --> 00:08:14,093
- I can reason with Lomax.
206
00:08:14,093 --> 00:08:15,161
(bots gasp)
207
00:08:15,161 --> 00:08:16,128
- [Crow] Hey folks.
208
00:08:16,128 --> 00:08:17,763
It's me, Shippy.
209
00:08:17,763 --> 00:08:20,333
Relax, I got this.
210
00:08:20,333 --> 00:08:22,635
- [Tom] Is it too early for a Uranus joke?
211
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:23,536
- [Crow] Never.
212
00:08:24,570 --> 00:08:25,805
The shapewear of things to come.
213
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:29,976
- Cargo vessel Phobos 4, you
are entering Lunar Area 7-5.
214
00:08:29,976 --> 00:08:31,444
Please confirm docking orbit.
215
00:08:32,478 --> 00:08:34,480
- [Tom] Ah, watch it with that thing.
216
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:41,487
- [Emily] Oh, look, moon pattern baldness.
217
00:08:43,589 --> 00:08:45,691
- John, I'm trying to do you a favor.
218
00:08:45,691 --> 00:08:48,594
I'm telling you what the
council have already decided.
219
00:08:48,594 --> 00:08:50,463
The Starstreak project is dead.
220
00:08:50,463 --> 00:08:51,597
- [Crow] Like our marriage.
221
00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:54,333
- Let's see what Lomax
has to say, shall we?
222
00:08:54,333 --> 00:08:56,002
- Phobos 4, please acknowledge.
223
00:08:56,002 --> 00:08:57,637
This is Lunar Space Control.
224
00:08:58,938 --> 00:09:02,708
♪ This is Phobos 4 to Space Control ♪
225
00:09:02,708 --> 00:09:05,244
♪ A Bowie reference is the goal ♪
226
00:09:05,244 --> 00:09:07,713
- Confirmation of docking orbit negative.
227
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:10,516
We are overriding and
beginning cobalt reverse drive
228
00:09:10,516 --> 00:09:13,486
in 10 seconds.
229
00:09:13,486 --> 00:09:14,854
- [Emily] They are getting
their money's worth
230
00:09:14,854 --> 00:09:15,955
out of this model.
231
00:09:16,856 --> 00:09:18,991
- Bidi bidi bidi bidi.
232
00:09:18,991 --> 00:09:22,762
(computer beeping)
(tense music)
233
00:09:22,762 --> 00:09:25,097
- [Tom] Is that good or bad?
234
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:29,201
- [Crow] Cobalt override,
the limited edition flavor
235
00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:30,236
from Mountain Dew.
236
00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:32,171
It's bad.
237
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:33,940
- [Emily] Meanwhile, at Netflix.
238
00:09:36,208 --> 00:09:38,744
- [Tom] Alexa, play Steely Dan "Aja."
239
00:09:39,779 --> 00:09:44,216
Alexa, play Steely Dan, oh, jeez.
240
00:09:47,553 --> 00:09:49,422
- [Emily] That dink hung up on us.
241
00:09:50,523 --> 00:09:53,626
- [Crow] Easy, breezy,
beautiful, and tawny.
242
00:09:53,626 --> 00:09:55,995
- Master Computer Lomax,
this is Lunar Space Control.
243
00:09:55,995 --> 00:09:57,863
We have an emergency.
244
00:09:57,863 --> 00:10:01,033
Delta 3 cargo vessel on crash
course, probable impact,
245
00:10:01,033 --> 00:10:03,002
New Washington center port.
246
00:10:03,002 --> 00:10:05,605
- [Lomax] Master Computer
confirms crash course.
247
00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:08,474
New Washington in 12 minutes.
248
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:10,710
Suggest full emergency procedures.
249
00:10:10,710 --> 00:10:11,544
- [Tom] Thanks, Lomax.
250
00:10:11,544 --> 00:10:12,845
Love you, bye.
251
00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:15,314
- [Emily] Leave.
252
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:23,456
- [Crow] Whoa, this guy's space
suit is very lung-forward.
253
00:10:26,559 --> 00:10:27,994
- Jason Caball here.
254
00:10:27,994 --> 00:10:29,161
- [Kim] This is Lunar Space Control.
255
00:10:29,161 --> 00:10:30,029
We have an emergency.
256
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:32,031
Please report.
- Okay, on my way.
257
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,168
- [Tom] He had a long way to go.
258
00:10:37,870 --> 00:10:39,438
- What's the problem, Kim?
259
00:10:39,438 --> 00:10:40,906
- [Emily] Personal space?
260
00:10:40,906 --> 00:10:42,908
- Delta 3 cargo ship with 10 metric tons
261
00:10:42,908 --> 00:10:46,379
of RADIC-Q-2 on board, on crash
course with New Washington.
262
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,047
- Bummer.
- When?
263
00:10:48,047 --> 00:10:49,915
- Eight minutes, 52 seconds.
264
00:10:49,915 --> 00:10:52,084
- Lomax confirms?
- Lomax confirms.
265
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:55,054
- [Crow] Do not take Lomax
if you are allergic to Lomax.
266
00:10:55,054 --> 00:10:56,722
- Emergency division, yellow alert.
267
00:10:56,722 --> 00:10:58,924
Evacuate entire population to lower city.
268
00:10:58,924 --> 00:11:00,493
Seal off access to main dome.
269
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,762
- [Emily] I mean, if
Lomax is okay with it.
270
00:11:02,762 --> 00:11:04,163
- Look, you sure it's not some sort of
271
00:11:04,163 --> 00:11:05,798
communication problem?
272
00:11:05,798 --> 00:11:07,433
- Jason, right now I'm
not sure of anything.
273
00:11:07,433 --> 00:11:08,768
I just don't want to take any chances.
274
00:11:08,768 --> 00:11:11,904
♪ Chance, take a chance, take
a chance, take a chance ♪
275
00:11:11,904 --> 00:11:13,439
- Let's see what else we can do.
276
00:11:14,774 --> 00:11:16,375
- [Emily] Huh, commercial sign.
277
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:17,376
- Yellow alert?
278
00:11:17,376 --> 00:11:18,844
The whole city's on yellow alert!
279
00:11:18,844 --> 00:11:20,946
- [Crow] We have to leave Epcot right now!
280
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:25,484
- [Tom] It's called Twitter.
281
00:11:25,484 --> 00:11:27,820
It's gonna be great for the discourse.
282
00:11:30,322 --> 00:11:32,258
- Go to red.
- But I'm not tired yet.
283
00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:35,194
- Impact?
- Helvetica?
284
00:11:35,194 --> 00:11:36,862
- Six minutes.
285
00:11:36,862 --> 00:11:39,799
- [Tom] The spirograph
has been compromised!
286
00:11:39,799 --> 00:11:43,069
(tense music)
287
00:11:43,069 --> 00:11:43,903
- [Emily] Good morning!
288
00:11:43,903 --> 00:11:45,004
- [Crow] Top o' the morning to ya!
289
00:11:45,004 --> 00:11:48,841
- [Tom] Ello, guv'nuh,
what's all this, then?
290
00:11:48,841 --> 00:11:51,310
- [Man On Loudspeaker]
Evacuate all surface dwellings.
291
00:11:51,310 --> 00:11:52,745
- [Emily] Oh, I just remembered something
292
00:11:52,745 --> 00:11:54,980
to add to my eHarmony profile.
293
00:11:54,980 --> 00:11:58,384
"Knows every Blues
Traveler song by heart."
294
00:11:59,752 --> 00:12:00,586
There.
295
00:12:03,956 --> 00:12:04,790
- Kim?
296
00:12:04,790 --> 00:12:07,126
- [Tom] How do you spell
global thermonuclear war?
297
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:11,030
- Look at the weight
distribution on that cargo ship.
298
00:12:11,030 --> 00:12:14,133
- [Emily] Double cheeked
up on a Thursday afternoon?
299
00:12:14,133 --> 00:12:15,601
- [Kim] It's almost empty.
300
00:12:15,601 --> 00:12:16,936
- An empty cargo ship?
301
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,471
Doesn't make sense.
302
00:12:18,471 --> 00:12:19,305
Excuse me.
303
00:12:19,305 --> 00:12:21,307
- [Tom] I gotta go talk
to the big lollipop.
304
00:12:22,241 --> 00:12:23,609
- Master Computer Lomax?
305
00:12:23,609 --> 00:12:24,910
This is Jason Caball.
306
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:25,745
- [Crow] You decent?
307
00:12:25,745 --> 00:12:26,946
- [Lomax] ID confirmed.
308
00:12:26,946 --> 00:12:28,347
Go ahead, Jason.
309
00:12:28,347 --> 00:12:30,649
- Okay, I need a bypass
circuit to overload
310
00:12:30,649 --> 00:12:32,451
the Phobos 4 engines.
311
00:12:32,451 --> 00:12:34,420
- State priority classification.
312
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:35,254
- Come on, Lomax.
313
00:12:35,254 --> 00:12:36,088
Cut the red tape.
314
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,757
We have to destroy that ship.
315
00:12:37,757 --> 00:12:39,291
- [Lomax] Priority request acknowledged.
316
00:12:39,291 --> 00:12:40,793
- [Emily] Aw, jeez,
Crow, whenever I ask you
317
00:12:40,793 --> 00:12:42,561
to overload the Phobos 4 engines,
318
00:12:42,561 --> 00:12:44,063
you throw your pudding cup in my face.
319
00:12:44,063 --> 00:12:46,732
- [Crow] Well, there's a right
way and a wrong way to ask.
320
00:12:46,732 --> 00:12:47,800
- Two minutes to impact.
321
00:12:47,800 --> 00:12:49,401
- [Tom] And three minutes to lunch.
322
00:12:49,401 --> 00:12:53,072
- [Lomax] Phobos 4 engine
circuit to display available.
323
00:12:53,072 --> 00:12:55,307
- Okay, give me input
control for a bypass circuit.
324
00:12:55,307 --> 00:12:57,610
- [Emily] Order some fries for me, huh?
325
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:59,411
- Kim, do you have this
emergency under control?
326
00:12:59,411 --> 00:13:01,313
- We're working on it, Father.
327
00:13:01,313 --> 00:13:04,049
- Son, are you sure that none
of Niki's people are on board?
328
00:13:04,049 --> 00:13:04,917
- No life signs at all.
329
00:13:04,917 --> 00:13:05,918
Lomax confirms.
330
00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:07,887
- [Crow] Is my hair wispy enough, son?
331
00:13:07,887 --> 00:13:10,389
(tense music)
332
00:13:11,357 --> 00:13:13,459
- [Tom] Oh, these Harrison Ford closeups
333
00:13:13,459 --> 00:13:14,860
get tougher every year.
334
00:13:14,860 --> 00:13:17,263
- [Man On Loudspeaker] Red
alert, red alert, evacuate all-
335
00:13:17,263 --> 00:13:18,798
- [Crow] Hello, good morning.
336
00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:19,999
I'll see you in a fortnight.
337
00:13:19,999 --> 00:13:21,267
How's your mum?
338
00:13:21,267 --> 00:13:23,602
Porridge today, Gromit, Tuesday!
339
00:13:23,602 --> 00:13:25,638
- [Tom] Yeah, I get that I am here,
340
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,273
but where's the Hot Topic?
341
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:30,142
- Come on, Lomax.
342
00:13:30,142 --> 00:13:31,677
- [Lomax] Stand by.
343
00:13:31,677 --> 00:13:33,045
- [Emily] We're late for ABBA class.
344
00:13:33,045 --> 00:13:37,850
♪ Take a chance, take a
chance, take a chance ♪
345
00:13:37,850 --> 00:13:39,752
- 70 seconds to impact.
346
00:13:39,752 --> 00:13:40,886
- [Lomax] Procedure complete.
347
00:13:40,886 --> 00:13:42,855
Now you may activate.
348
00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:44,990
- [Tom]
Eight-six-seven-five-three-oh-nine.
349
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:50,696
- Sensors indicate negative response.
350
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:53,632
Cargo ship did not destruct.
351
00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:55,768
- Oh, this blows.
- Did not disrupt.
352
00:13:55,768 --> 00:13:57,436
- [Emily] Oh, poopie.
353
00:13:57,436 --> 00:13:59,104
- Impact 45 seconds.
354
00:14:00,439 --> 00:14:01,340
- [Crow] Emily, what would you do
355
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,342
if you had 45 seconds to live?
356
00:14:03,342 --> 00:14:04,176
- Oh, I don't know.
357
00:14:04,176 --> 00:14:05,678
I'd probably just take it easy.
358
00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:07,613
No need to stress the
seconds away, you know?
359
00:14:07,613 --> 00:14:10,082
Life can be full of
this go go go mentality,
360
00:14:10,082 --> 00:14:12,484
and if you just stop to just be,
361
00:14:12,484 --> 00:14:14,753
you'd find that happiness lies within.
362
00:14:14,753 --> 00:14:15,588
- [Crow] Oh.
363
00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:16,956
- [Tom] That's very Zen of you, Emily.
364
00:14:16,956 --> 00:14:18,324
- [Emily] Oh, well, I'm just kidding.
365
00:14:18,324 --> 00:14:19,658
I'd probably just break
out the flame thrower
366
00:14:19,658 --> 00:14:21,160
and tear it all down.
- Yeah!
367
00:14:25,965 --> 00:14:28,868
- [Tom] We shouldn't have made
our dome out of cellophane!
368
00:14:34,073 --> 00:14:36,475
- [Emily] Panic at the disco!
369
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:40,646
- [Crow] American Gothic:
The Next Generation.
370
00:14:42,481 --> 00:14:43,949
- [Man On Loudspeaker]
Commencing restoration
371
00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:46,418
of protective environment enclosure.
372
00:14:46,418 --> 00:14:49,622
All residents to remain in
emergency underground shelters.
373
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:52,658
- [Tom] All freakazoid robots
report to the dance floor.
374
00:14:54,660 --> 00:14:57,763
- [Emily] Oh great, now the
space mosquitoes are getting in.
375
00:14:57,763 --> 00:15:00,532
(Crow groans)
376
00:15:00,532 --> 00:15:02,668
- [Crow] You know, when the oboes start,
377
00:15:02,668 --> 00:15:06,238
everything is about to get
just a little bit better.
378
00:15:07,206 --> 00:15:09,441
- [Tom] Yeah, Joe Rogan
had a guy on last week
379
00:15:09,441 --> 00:15:12,344
talking about chem trails, man...
380
00:15:13,545 --> 00:15:15,681
- [Emily] Blank Stares:
The Motion Picture.
381
00:15:17,116 --> 00:15:22,121
♪ Highway to the Angel Zone ♪
382
00:15:24,890 --> 00:15:27,326
♪ Angel Zone ♪
383
00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:31,664
- Lomax, status on dome repair, please.
384
00:15:31,664 --> 00:15:33,933
- [Lomax] Dome repair near completion.
385
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:37,770
Repressurization will
commence upon structural test.
386
00:15:37,770 --> 00:15:38,604
Stand by.
387
00:15:39,605 --> 00:15:42,308
I have visual communication with Delta 3.
388
00:15:43,309 --> 00:15:44,710
(solemn music)
389
00:15:44,710 --> 00:15:46,512
- [Crow] Oh no, the Dark Tower movie!
390
00:15:46,512 --> 00:15:47,947
Oh, phew, it's only Jack Palance.
391
00:15:47,947 --> 00:15:50,549
(Tom sighs)
392
00:15:50,549 --> 00:15:53,919
- This is Omus, robot master on Delta 3.
393
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:55,187
- [Emily] Give or take.
394
00:15:55,187 --> 00:15:57,856
- I would like to talk to Dr. John Caball.
395
00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:01,727
- Yes, Omus, this is Caball.
396
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,028
- Ah, Doctor.
397
00:16:03,028 --> 00:16:04,596
- [Tom] If that is your real name.
398
00:16:04,596 --> 00:16:05,864
- You remember me?
399
00:16:06,865 --> 00:16:08,667
- Oh yes, indeed.
400
00:16:08,667 --> 00:16:09,935
Now where's Niki?
401
00:16:09,935 --> 00:16:12,204
I want to talk to your superior.
402
00:16:12,204 --> 00:16:13,138
- My superior?
403
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:15,975
Oh.
404
00:16:15,975 --> 00:16:18,444
Yes, you mean the former
governor of Delta 3.
405
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:19,478
- [Crow] She's busy.
406
00:16:19,478 --> 00:16:22,181
- I'm afraid Niki and her
followers have fled the citadel.
407
00:16:22,181 --> 00:16:25,050
- [Emily] Oh, he takes his time.
408
00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:27,086
- I am in control now.
409
00:16:28,187 --> 00:16:30,622
- Well, in that case, you
know what just happened?
410
00:16:30,622 --> 00:16:34,193
One of your cargo ships
crashed into New Washington.
411
00:16:34,193 --> 00:16:35,794
- But of course.
- Hon hon hon!
412
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:38,831
- That was my plan.
413
00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,132
- [Emily] What a dickweed!
414
00:16:40,132 --> 00:16:40,966
- Omus.
415
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:44,470
This is Senator Smedley
of the Moon Council.
416
00:16:44,470 --> 00:16:45,371
What is it you want?
417
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:47,639
- [Crow] I want breakfast for dinner.
418
00:16:47,639 --> 00:16:50,642
- I have made giant strides
in technology, Senator.
419
00:16:50,642 --> 00:16:52,711
- [Tom] Belgian waffles.
420
00:16:52,711 --> 00:16:56,181
- I can bring a new, and more efficient
421
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:57,549
way of life to the moon.
422
00:16:57,549 --> 00:16:58,584
- [Emily] D'Moon?
423
00:16:58,584 --> 00:17:00,786
- Well, that's certainly encouraging.
424
00:17:00,786 --> 00:17:03,489
Omus, you haven't answered the question.
425
00:17:04,356 --> 00:17:07,593
- You mean, what do I really want, Doctor?
426
00:17:07,593 --> 00:17:09,194
- [Crow] I'll tell you what I want,
427
00:17:09,194 --> 00:17:11,330
what I really, really want.
428
00:17:11,330 --> 00:17:13,599
- Your respect, of course.
- Zig-a-zig-ah.
429
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,036
- And your support
430
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,971
(Tom imitating flatulence)
431
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:20,873
For my return to the moon colony.
432
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:23,375
- Return?
433
00:17:23,375 --> 00:17:25,544
In what capacity?
434
00:17:25,544 --> 00:17:28,380
- As supreme commander
of the moon, the Earth...
435
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,516
- [Emily] And Assistant Regional Manager.
436
00:17:30,516 --> 00:17:33,252
- And all the outposts
in our solar system.
437
00:17:33,252 --> 00:17:35,554
Well, that, of course,
is out of the question.
438
00:17:36,388 --> 00:17:37,723
- If that is your reaction, Senator-
439
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:39,658
- [Crow] If that is your real name.
440
00:17:39,658 --> 00:17:41,794
- You will be hearing much more from me.
441
00:17:42,895 --> 00:17:45,931
Beginning immediately-
- After this pause.
442
00:17:45,931 --> 00:17:49,468
- There will be no further
shipments of RADIC-Q-2.
443
00:17:49,468 --> 00:17:50,969
- This is madness!
444
00:17:50,969 --> 00:17:52,504
You're talking more like a blackmailer
445
00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:53,338
than a man of science!
446
00:17:53,338 --> 00:17:54,406
- John, don't provoke him.
447
00:17:54,406 --> 00:17:56,141
- Now listen to me, Omus.
448
00:17:56,141 --> 00:17:59,244
We will never surrender New Washington,
449
00:17:59,244 --> 00:18:00,579
to you or anyone else.
450
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:01,480
- [Emily] Probably.
451
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:02,881
- Even if it means war.
452
00:18:02,881 --> 00:18:04,249
- [Smedley] John, you
don't have the authority
453
00:18:04,249 --> 00:18:05,484
to make that decision.
454
00:18:05,484 --> 00:18:07,586
- Don't talk of war.
455
00:18:07,586 --> 00:18:08,520
My dear doctor.
456
00:18:08,520 --> 00:18:09,555
- It's gauche.
457
00:18:09,555 --> 00:18:11,623
- It would be disastrous.
458
00:18:11,623 --> 00:18:12,458
- [Emily] And tawdry.
459
00:18:12,458 --> 00:18:15,360
- As tragic as the robot
wars that devastated
460
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:16,228
the Earth planet.
461
00:18:18,163 --> 00:18:19,531
Please.
- Please!
462
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,302
- Consider my proposal.
463
00:18:23,302 --> 00:18:24,536
- You mean your threat?!
464
00:18:26,538 --> 00:18:27,639
- [Emily] Smoke bomb.
465
00:18:27,639 --> 00:18:28,807
- [Man On Intercom] Lunar Control?
466
00:18:28,807 --> 00:18:29,641
- [Tom] He looks good.
467
00:18:29,641 --> 00:18:31,376
Was he wearing a cape?
468
00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:38,617
- [Man On Intercom] Lunar
Control, this is sector 20.
469
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,688
We found the pilot.
470
00:18:42,688 --> 00:18:44,323
- [Crow] Might wanna bring a sponge.
471
00:18:47,793 --> 00:18:49,161
- It's wedged in here.
472
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:50,929
May take a while to get it out.
473
00:18:50,929 --> 00:18:52,631
- What do you mean it?
- A robot.
474
00:18:53,932 --> 00:18:56,034
- Send it to robot repair
as soon as possible.
475
00:18:56,034 --> 00:18:58,103
- [Emily] Pitter-patter, let's get at 'er.
476
00:18:59,771 --> 00:19:00,806
- See you later, I'm gonna go take a look
477
00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:01,807
at this suicide robot.
478
00:19:01,807 --> 00:19:03,242
- [Tom] Save me some.
479
00:19:07,012 --> 00:19:08,647
- [Crow] Mind if we play through?
480
00:19:09,681 --> 00:19:11,416
- Hmm.
481
00:19:11,416 --> 00:19:13,252
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
482
00:19:13,252 --> 00:19:14,486
- [Emily] Do not mock my pain.
483
00:19:14,486 --> 00:19:15,988
- Let's see if we can't put
you back together again.
484
00:19:15,988 --> 00:19:18,390
- [Tom] Why won't you let me die?
485
00:19:18,390 --> 00:19:19,825
- Lomax.
486
00:19:19,825 --> 00:19:21,527
What is your opinion?
487
00:19:21,527 --> 00:19:23,428
How do we handle this emergency?
488
00:19:23,428 --> 00:19:24,263
- [Crow] Punt.
489
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:25,964
- [Lomax] From data stored
in computer backfills,
490
00:19:25,964 --> 00:19:28,967
it would seem that an act
of aggression on our part
491
00:19:28,967 --> 00:19:31,403
would impurdent.
492
00:19:31,403 --> 00:19:34,640
- Lomax, you authorized
the building of Starstreak.
493
00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:36,175
- [Viewers] Remember?
494
00:19:36,175 --> 00:19:38,544
- And defensive purposes only.
495
00:19:38,544 --> 00:19:41,180
Even so, the ship has
never been fully tested.
496
00:19:43,215 --> 00:19:45,684
- [Emily] Oh good, Larry's
back from Regal Beagle.
497
00:19:45,684 --> 00:19:47,119
- Well, Kim, you were right.
498
00:19:47,119 --> 00:19:49,154
There was something weird
about that circuitry.
499
00:19:49,154 --> 00:19:51,557
The robot was programmed
to blow himself up.
500
00:19:51,557 --> 00:19:53,358
This one will turn him into a pussycat.
501
00:19:53,358 --> 00:19:54,860
- [Crow] It's a mix tape.
502
00:19:57,863 --> 00:19:59,097
- Okay, get the tapes, quick.
- Tapes.
503
00:19:59,097 --> 00:20:02,434
(Tom breathing heavily)
504
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,341
- [Emily] Sony Minidiscs?
505
00:20:09,341 --> 00:20:11,610
You're useless, Kyle.
506
00:20:11,610 --> 00:20:13,979
- Okay, let's give him a jolt.
507
00:20:13,979 --> 00:20:15,447
- [Tom] What are they doing, Emily?
508
00:20:15,447 --> 00:20:16,748
Is he gonna be okay?
509
00:20:18,684 --> 00:20:20,552
- I don't know what they
called you on Delta 3,
510
00:20:20,552 --> 00:20:23,522
but I'm gonna call you Sparks.
511
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:25,390
- [Crow] I'm gonna call you Lipgloss.
512
00:20:26,325 --> 00:20:27,693
- You're working!
513
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:29,628
♪ You don't know me ♪
514
00:20:29,628 --> 00:20:31,430
- I am self-adjusting.
515
00:20:31,430 --> 00:20:34,333
- New circuits, new circuits.
- Give him another jolt.
516
00:20:34,333 --> 00:20:36,969
- [Tom] Oh, Emily, make her stop!
517
00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:38,503
- [Emily] It's okay, guys.
518
00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:40,305
- You are the dark lady of my sonnets.
519
00:20:40,305 --> 00:20:42,040
The lily of my valley.
520
00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:43,942
- Yeah, you can call me Kim.
521
00:20:43,942 --> 00:20:45,277
Looks like I made a
poet out of you, friend.
522
00:20:45,277 --> 00:20:47,246
- [Crow] Here's a poem, lady.
523
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:49,081
Hickory Dickory Dock!
524
00:20:49,081 --> 00:20:50,082
- [Bots] Oh!
525
00:20:52,517 --> 00:20:53,352
- [Emily] All right, yeah, yeah, yeah.
526
00:20:53,352 --> 00:20:54,353
Cut the wheel.
527
00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:58,123
Cut the wheel if you've got
room and, oh, okay, that's good.
528
00:20:58,123 --> 00:20:59,191
That's good.
529
00:20:59,191 --> 00:21:00,792
And park.
530
00:21:02,294 --> 00:21:05,664
- [Tom] Chernobyl for a prom
theme, what were they thinking?
531
00:21:07,266 --> 00:21:09,001
- [Crow] All right,
you're gonna wanna cook me
532
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:11,703
at 350 degrees for about 70 minutes.
533
00:21:11,703 --> 00:21:13,605
You'll know when I'm done when a fork
534
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,941
easily pierces my skin.
535
00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:19,645
Load me up with butter and
don't skimp on the chives.
536
00:21:19,645 --> 00:21:21,647
I'm a potato.
537
00:21:21,647 --> 00:21:24,416
(Tom chuckles)
538
00:21:24,416 --> 00:21:25,250
- [Woman On Loudspeaker] Danger.
539
00:21:25,250 --> 00:21:28,553
Extreme radiation-
- Time limit 60?
540
00:21:28,553 --> 00:21:29,888
Well, 60 what?
541
00:21:29,888 --> 00:21:32,457
Seconds, minutes, hours?
542
00:21:32,457 --> 00:21:33,592
Help us out here.
543
00:21:35,193 --> 00:21:36,828
- [Tom] "The Secret of Monkey Island."
544
00:21:36,828 --> 00:21:39,097
Yeah, that'll be fun.
545
00:21:39,097 --> 00:21:40,399
- Hey, Sparks.
546
00:21:40,399 --> 00:21:42,367
This should complete your history course.
547
00:21:42,367 --> 00:21:44,436
- [Crow] Sparks is hot for teacher.
548
00:21:44,436 --> 00:21:46,405
- My dark lady of the sonnets.
549
00:21:46,405 --> 00:21:48,173
Now I have something to show you.
550
00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:49,074
- Whoa!
- Whoa!
551
00:21:49,074 --> 00:21:51,176
- No, no, no, no, no, no.
- You know.
552
00:21:51,176 --> 00:21:52,110
Watch this.
553
00:21:53,745 --> 00:21:56,648
- [Emily] Oh, good god,
what have I wrought?
554
00:21:56,648 --> 00:21:59,117
(device whirring)
555
00:21:59,117 --> 00:22:02,921
(Crow imitates whirring)
556
00:22:02,921 --> 00:22:04,289
- How was that?
557
00:22:04,289 --> 00:22:06,591
- [Tom] Don't lie or I'll know.
558
00:22:06,591 --> 00:22:07,626
- It's terrific.
559
00:22:07,626 --> 00:22:08,593
What do you call it?
560
00:22:08,593 --> 00:22:10,829
- Bi-Locational Transference.
561
00:22:10,829 --> 00:22:12,197
BLT for short.
562
00:22:12,197 --> 00:22:13,932
- [Crow] Ooh, that's cute.
563
00:22:13,932 --> 00:22:14,866
- Whatever you say.
564
00:22:20,172 --> 00:22:23,508
- [Emily] Oh, is that one of
them fancy European bidets
565
00:22:23,508 --> 00:22:25,043
folks been talking about?
566
00:22:25,043 --> 00:22:28,280
- [Crow] Oh, you mean for
rinsing off your downstairs area?
567
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,848
- [Emily] Yah, for the undercarriage.
568
00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:31,183
I guess it's coming up right out
569
00:22:31,183 --> 00:22:33,018
of the bathroom floor there.
570
00:22:33,018 --> 00:22:34,586
- [Tom] Oh, it's from Kohler.
571
00:22:34,586 --> 00:22:37,189
They do such a nice job.
- Oh, yeah.
572
00:22:37,189 --> 00:22:38,023
Oh yeah.
573
00:22:39,057 --> 00:22:40,258
- [Woman On Loudspeaker]
Please be advised,
574
00:22:40,258 --> 00:22:43,695
sensors indicate fuel
rods are overheating.
575
00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:46,064
Stability region has been surpassed
576
00:22:46,064 --> 00:22:50,602
and spectrum drive fuel pile
is approaching meltdown point.
577
00:22:50,602 --> 00:22:53,438
Emergency cooling system
must be reinforced
578
00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:55,607
with auxiliary supply of moderator.
579
00:22:55,607 --> 00:22:58,276
- [Emily] Aw, Uncle Myron sent us
580
00:22:58,276 --> 00:23:00,512
a really nice box of steaks.
581
00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:01,613
This is nice.
582
00:23:01,613 --> 00:23:04,282
There must be 12 Montacos in there,
583
00:23:04,282 --> 00:23:07,219
bacon-wrapped scallops,
10 pounds of sirloin?
584
00:23:07,219 --> 00:23:08,754
We feast tonight!
585
00:23:11,289 --> 00:23:13,825
- [Crow] Ah, crap, what's
the combination again?
586
00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:16,528
- [Lomax] Unauthorized
presence on Starstreak.
587
00:23:16,528 --> 00:23:19,131
Determine whereabouts
of all senior personnel.
588
00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,499
- [Tom] There are no small parts.
589
00:23:20,499 --> 00:23:22,167
This is going on my reel!
590
00:23:27,839 --> 00:23:28,874
- [Emily] What is happening?
591
00:23:28,874 --> 00:23:31,576
- [Crow] Whatever it is,
they can't afford to show it.
592
00:23:36,615 --> 00:23:38,917
- Kim?
- I made water.
593
00:23:38,917 --> 00:23:40,285
- That's the pilot?
- Yeah.
594
00:23:40,285 --> 00:23:43,121
Well, I've sort of shored
him up, reprogrammed him.
595
00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:44,723
He really does some incredible things.
596
00:23:44,723 --> 00:23:45,557
- Hello, Jason.
597
00:23:45,557 --> 00:23:46,758
(device whirring)
598
00:23:46,758 --> 00:23:48,427
- [Emily] Peace!
599
00:23:48,427 --> 00:23:50,862
- [Crow] He only appears next to trash.
600
00:23:50,862 --> 00:23:53,331
(device whirring)
601
00:23:53,331 --> 00:23:54,833
(viewers groan)
602
00:23:54,833 --> 00:23:56,234
- I see.
603
00:23:56,234 --> 00:23:58,737
Listen, my father's up to
something involving Starstreak.
604
00:23:58,737 --> 00:24:00,038
I may need your help.
605
00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:01,072
- Okay, what do you want me to do?
606
00:24:01,072 --> 00:24:01,940
- Just come with me.
607
00:24:01,940 --> 00:24:03,041
It won't take too long.
- All right.
608
00:24:03,041 --> 00:24:04,309
- [Tom] Phrasing!
609
00:24:04,309 --> 00:24:06,511
- No, Sparks, you gotta stay here.
610
00:24:06,511 --> 00:24:09,214
- Whither thou goest, I will go.
611
00:24:09,214 --> 00:24:10,882
- He's sort of attached to me.
612
00:24:10,882 --> 00:24:12,617
- Bring him along, he might be useful.
613
00:24:13,852 --> 00:24:16,455
- [Crow] Friend zone to
the end zone, Sparks.
614
00:24:17,789 --> 00:24:21,526
(doors whirring and banging)
615
00:24:27,866 --> 00:24:30,569
- [GPC] Live from the
Lavender Room at the fabulous
616
00:24:30,569 --> 00:24:34,773
Simulator of Laughs comes the
Riffers Club Roast of Sparks!
617
00:24:34,773 --> 00:24:36,508
Please welcome the little red robot
618
00:24:36,508 --> 00:24:39,945
who won't work blue, Tom Servo!
619
00:24:39,945 --> 00:24:41,279
(people clapping)
(Tom chuckling)
620
00:24:41,279 --> 00:24:42,113
- Thank you.
621
00:24:42,113 --> 00:24:42,948
- Thank you.
622
00:24:42,948 --> 00:24:44,182
Thank you, thank you.
623
00:24:44,182 --> 00:24:46,418
And good evening.
624
00:24:46,418 --> 00:24:50,522
Well, I guess it's always evening
when you're lost in space.
625
00:24:51,623 --> 00:24:55,460
Ooh, speaking of lost in space, hey, B9!
626
00:24:55,460 --> 00:24:57,262
The show's up here!
627
00:24:57,262 --> 00:25:01,233
You blithering, blundering,
bungling bucket of bolts.
628
00:25:03,401 --> 00:25:08,139
Hey, hey now, hey, you always
roast the bots you love,
629
00:25:08,139 --> 00:25:11,243
which is why I haven't mentioned C3PO.
630
00:25:11,243 --> 00:25:12,344
Look at this guy.
631
00:25:12,344 --> 00:25:13,778
Who are your parents, anyway?
632
00:25:13,778 --> 00:25:16,414
An Academy Award and Boobo the owl?
633
00:25:16,414 --> 00:25:18,517
(rimshot beats)
634
00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:21,286
Speaking of the droids
we aren't looking for,
635
00:25:21,286 --> 00:25:24,923
give a warm welcome to a
fun guy from outer space,
636
00:25:24,923 --> 00:25:26,458
Crow T. Robot.
637
00:25:26,458 --> 00:25:28,126
(Crow laughing)
638
00:25:28,126 --> 00:25:28,960
- Hey!
639
00:25:29,895 --> 00:25:31,196
All right.
640
00:25:31,196 --> 00:25:34,299
Give it up for Servo, or
as I like to call him,
641
00:25:34,299 --> 00:25:35,867
Bryant No Gumball.
642
00:25:35,867 --> 00:25:38,436
(rimshot beats)
643
00:25:38,436 --> 00:25:40,405
So, Sparks.
644
00:25:40,405 --> 00:25:42,073
Why do you get a dinner?
645
00:25:42,073 --> 00:25:45,377
Wall-E, who knew trash
talk better than anyone,
646
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:46,978
he never got a dinner.
647
00:25:46,978 --> 00:25:51,316
BB8, who always had a
ball, because he was one.
648
00:25:51,316 --> 00:25:53,852
They never got a dinner, but Sparks,
649
00:25:53,852 --> 00:25:57,923
you suck more than a
pig pen full of Roombas.
650
00:25:59,157 --> 00:26:02,527
I'm Crow that's my time Robot.
651
00:26:04,763 --> 00:26:08,800
- Now, there's nothing PC
about our next roaster.
652
00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:10,435
Give it up for GPC!
653
00:26:12,070 --> 00:26:14,773
- Oh, thanks, I'm coming.
654
00:26:14,773 --> 00:26:15,607
I'm coming.
655
00:26:15,607 --> 00:26:17,275
I'm coming.
656
00:26:17,275 --> 00:26:19,177
Hey Crow.
- Yeah?
657
00:26:19,177 --> 00:26:21,947
- I wish you'd BLT.
- Huh?
658
00:26:21,947 --> 00:26:23,815
- Be less terrible.
659
00:26:25,417 --> 00:26:27,552
I'm not joking.
660
00:26:27,552 --> 00:26:30,288
Crow's jokes are staler
than a breakfast burrito
661
00:26:30,288 --> 00:26:32,290
at a vampire restaurant.
- Eh?
662
00:26:33,158 --> 00:26:35,026
- Because they only come out at night
663
00:26:35,026 --> 00:26:37,329
so they don't eat breakfast.
664
00:26:39,831 --> 00:26:42,167
I'm saying you suck!
665
00:26:43,034 --> 00:26:44,569
(audience gasping)
666
00:26:44,569 --> 00:26:45,503
- Oh, hey.
667
00:26:45,503 --> 00:26:48,273
According to Asimov's
First Law of Roastbotics,
668
00:26:48,273 --> 00:26:51,042
you're only supposed
to pretend to be mean.
669
00:26:51,042 --> 00:26:52,644
- Okay, okay.
670
00:26:52,644 --> 00:26:53,812
Listen to me.
671
00:26:53,812 --> 00:26:58,483
Jokes aside, let me be
serious for a moment.
672
00:26:58,483 --> 00:26:59,651
Crow.
673
00:26:59,651 --> 00:27:01,286
You're not funny!
674
00:27:02,954 --> 00:27:03,955
- Okay, GPC!
675
00:27:05,523 --> 00:27:08,159
Hitting the battery acid hard tonight.
676
00:27:08,159 --> 00:27:09,628
- I feel great.
677
00:27:09,628 --> 00:27:10,462
Woo!
678
00:27:11,663 --> 00:27:14,099
- And now, duck, everyone.
679
00:27:14,099 --> 00:27:16,768
'Cause Sparks is getting his turn.
680
00:27:16,768 --> 00:27:17,602
Hmm?
681
00:27:18,903 --> 00:27:20,572
Oh.
682
00:27:20,572 --> 00:27:24,743
Tonight, Sparks's wife Tawny
will be speaking for him.
683
00:27:24,743 --> 00:27:27,779
Guess the thing to come is stage fright.
684
00:27:29,080 --> 00:27:30,081
Oh, you can have it.
685
00:27:33,351 --> 00:27:38,356
- Most of you are unaware that
due to a recent power surge,
686
00:27:39,090 --> 00:27:42,360
my husband Sparks can no longer speak.
687
00:27:43,728 --> 00:27:47,799
They gave him three months
before his batteries shut down,
688
00:27:47,799 --> 00:27:51,102
and the technicians say
it's quite irreparable.
689
00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:53,304
But thank you.
690
00:27:53,304 --> 00:27:54,606
Thank you for this evening.
691
00:27:54,606 --> 00:27:57,008
I know that he appreciates it,
692
00:27:57,008 --> 00:27:59,077
and even I know that if he could speak,
693
00:27:59,077 --> 00:28:01,279
he would also tell you thank you.
694
00:28:02,380 --> 00:28:03,815
So thank you, everyone.
695
00:28:03,815 --> 00:28:06,084
(people clapping)
696
00:28:06,084 --> 00:28:08,453
- Way to kill the bit, Emily.
697
00:28:08,453 --> 00:28:11,423
- Hey, well excuse me for
wanting to show my range.
698
00:28:11,423 --> 00:28:12,357
Okay, Crow?
(alarm blaring)
699
00:28:12,357 --> 00:28:13,491
(bots shouting)
700
00:28:13,491 --> 00:28:16,661
- We got movie sign!
701
00:28:16,661 --> 00:28:20,398
(doors whirring and banging)
702
00:28:28,073 --> 00:28:30,241
(alarm beeping)
703
00:28:30,241 --> 00:28:32,544
He's been in there for a long time.
704
00:28:32,544 --> 00:28:35,513
It's been well over 70, the poor guy.
705
00:28:35,513 --> 00:28:36,347
- [Crow] Oh.
706
00:28:38,750 --> 00:28:40,618
- [Tom] Do not go in there.
707
00:28:40,618 --> 00:28:41,886
- [Woman On Loudspeaker]
You have been exposed
708
00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:44,723
to extremely high radiation levels.
709
00:28:44,723 --> 00:28:48,460
Immediate treatment with
RADIC-Q-2 imperative.
710
00:28:48,460 --> 00:28:50,595
- [Crow] Ugh, where's the snooze button?
711
00:28:50,595 --> 00:28:51,629
- [Woman On Loudspeaker] Exposed to
712
00:28:51,629 --> 00:28:54,399
extremely high radiation levels.
713
00:28:54,399 --> 00:28:57,802
Immediate treatment with
RADIC-Q-2 imperative.
714
00:28:57,802 --> 00:28:59,771
- [Emily] Oh, Miss
Thompson, I don't feel well.
715
00:28:59,771 --> 00:29:01,706
Can I go to the nurse?
716
00:29:04,576 --> 00:29:06,878
- [Crow] Ugh, I always
get lost in this Ikea.
717
00:29:09,881 --> 00:29:10,715
- [Tom] What?
718
00:29:10,715 --> 00:29:11,549
Nothing!
719
00:29:11,549 --> 00:29:12,383
- Dr. Caball.
720
00:29:12,383 --> 00:29:13,218
- [Caball] Kim, what are you doing here?
721
00:29:13,218 --> 00:29:14,719
- What's this all about?
722
00:29:14,719 --> 00:29:16,287
- I'm taking Starstreak to Delta 3.
723
00:29:16,287 --> 00:29:18,389
- But we have orders from Lomax.
724
00:29:18,389 --> 00:29:20,125
- The Master Computer is wrong.
725
00:29:20,125 --> 00:29:21,760
Soft words now could destroy us.
726
00:29:21,760 --> 00:29:24,763
I'm going to stop Omus,
by myself if I have to.
727
00:29:24,763 --> 00:29:26,564
- You won't have to do it by yourself.
728
00:29:26,564 --> 00:29:29,033
- Well, I was rather
counting on your help, son.
729
00:29:29,033 --> 00:29:30,468
- [Emily] I didn't mean me.
730
00:29:30,468 --> 00:29:31,369
- Thanks.
731
00:29:31,369 --> 00:29:32,270
- I'm going too.
732
00:29:32,270 --> 00:29:33,505
- I would like to help.
733
00:29:33,505 --> 00:29:35,607
- [Crow] I know close up magic.
734
00:29:35,607 --> 00:29:37,308
- Oh, hello.
735
00:29:37,308 --> 00:29:38,877
Who's your shiny friend?
736
00:29:38,877 --> 00:29:40,044
- That's Sparks.
737
00:29:40,044 --> 00:29:41,479
- [Tom] M'lady.
738
00:29:41,479 --> 00:29:45,416
- Well, all right, the four of us, then.
739
00:29:45,416 --> 00:29:47,152
- [Emily] I call shotgun.
740
00:29:47,152 --> 00:29:48,953
- But we have to launch immediately.
741
00:29:48,953 --> 00:29:49,954
- No, we're not ready.
742
00:29:49,954 --> 00:29:51,723
I gotta do a pre-flight check.
743
00:29:51,723 --> 00:29:53,424
- No, I'm afraid we don't have...
744
00:29:53,424 --> 00:29:55,260
(device whirring)
- Sparks, ew.
745
00:29:55,260 --> 00:29:56,961
- I've located Dr. Caball.
746
00:29:56,961 --> 00:30:00,165
Visual scanners on Starstreak activated.
747
00:30:00,165 --> 00:30:01,599
- [Tom] Sorry, wrong slide.
748
00:30:02,667 --> 00:30:04,402
- Lomax has tracked us here.
749
00:30:04,402 --> 00:30:06,337
Son, we've gotta go now, or not at all.
750
00:30:06,337 --> 00:30:07,172
- Sir.
751
00:30:07,172 --> 00:30:08,373
Countdown to ignition.
752
00:30:08,373 --> 00:30:10,308
- Now, Mr. Sparks.
753
00:30:10,308 --> 00:30:11,910
- Sequence for launch.
- Lunch?
754
00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:13,711
- [Crow] Mm, yum yum.
755
00:30:15,413 --> 00:30:17,282
- Similar to those on cargo ships,
756
00:30:17,282 --> 00:30:18,883
but much more sophisticated.
757
00:30:18,883 --> 00:30:21,953
- Dr. Caball, I detect
a need for medication.
758
00:30:21,953 --> 00:30:23,321
- Yeah, well just keep that to yourself,
759
00:30:23,321 --> 00:30:24,155
Sparks, you understand?
760
00:30:24,155 --> 00:30:27,926
(crow imitating tense music)
761
00:30:28,793 --> 00:30:30,061
I'm going to the jump seat.
762
00:30:30,061 --> 00:30:30,995
- [Kim] 28.
763
00:30:30,995 --> 00:30:32,063
27.
764
00:30:32,063 --> 00:30:32,897
26.
765
00:30:32,897 --> 00:30:34,499
- [Crow] 23 skiddoo.
766
00:30:34,499 --> 00:30:37,602
- [Tom] And lo, did the first
intergalactic panini press
767
00:30:37,602 --> 00:30:40,171
stretch toward the stars.
768
00:30:41,306 --> 00:30:42,707
- Preparing for takeoff.
769
00:30:42,707 --> 00:30:44,242
Lomax, you've got stop them.
770
00:30:48,046 --> 00:30:49,047
- [Emily] Hold me.
771
00:30:51,316 --> 00:30:52,283
- One.
772
00:30:52,283 --> 00:30:53,184
Ignition.
- Boop.
773
00:30:57,622 --> 00:31:00,625
- My god.
(Tom chuckling)
774
00:31:00,625 --> 00:31:03,661
Lomax.
- Yes?
775
00:31:03,661 --> 00:31:06,231
- What are their chances
of reaching Delta 3?
776
00:31:06,231 --> 00:31:09,033
- [Lomax] Percentages do not
favor a successful journey.
777
00:31:09,033 --> 00:31:11,703
Disaster through malfunction predicted.
778
00:31:11,703 --> 00:31:14,539
- [Emily] But you can shake
me and ask again later.
779
00:31:14,539 --> 00:31:16,808
- Oh god, no.
780
00:31:16,808 --> 00:31:19,377
- [Crow] Set course for up.
781
00:31:21,412 --> 00:31:23,147
- [Sparks] Leveling out.
782
00:31:23,147 --> 00:31:26,885
- [Kim] 3277, course set for Delta 3.
783
00:31:26,885 --> 00:31:29,320
- [Sparks] Gylectron
compass reading normal.
784
00:31:29,320 --> 00:31:31,155
- [Tom] Okay, Caball, you got this.
785
00:31:31,155 --> 00:31:32,090
They don't know you're high.
786
00:31:32,090 --> 00:31:33,391
One foot in front of the other.
787
00:31:33,391 --> 00:31:34,893
They don't know you're high.
788
00:31:34,893 --> 00:31:36,461
Hell, I'm definitely not high!
789
00:31:36,461 --> 00:31:37,762
Dammit.
790
00:31:37,762 --> 00:31:40,231
- Well, we're on our way.
791
00:31:41,733 --> 00:31:45,203
Out there is the vastness of space.
792
00:31:45,203 --> 00:31:46,604
The unknown.
793
00:31:46,604 --> 00:31:47,872
- [Crow] It's only a model.
794
00:31:47,872 --> 00:31:50,174
- Where all possibilities exist.
795
00:31:51,476 --> 00:31:55,246
Man's future is limited
only by his imagination.
796
00:31:55,246 --> 00:31:58,850
- [Sparks] Correct pulse ratio 0.004.
797
00:31:58,850 --> 00:32:01,386
- [Emily] I was having a
moment, Sparks, read the room.
798
00:32:01,386 --> 00:32:03,254
- And how about you, Sparks?
799
00:32:03,254 --> 00:32:04,956
- [Tom] Feeling crashy?
800
00:32:04,956 --> 00:32:06,524
- What do you think?
801
00:32:06,524 --> 00:32:09,427
- It's better than a Delta
3 cargo ship, Doctor.
802
00:32:09,427 --> 00:32:11,262
(Crow laughing)
- No he didn't!
803
00:32:11,262 --> 00:32:12,764
- [Crow] Oh, snap!
804
00:32:13,932 --> 00:32:15,500
- I wonder what happened to Niki.
805
00:32:15,500 --> 00:32:17,001
Hope she's all right.
806
00:32:17,001 --> 00:32:18,336
- [Emily] Meanwhile, on the galaxy's
807
00:32:18,336 --> 00:32:20,271
largest Everlasting Gobstopper.
808
00:32:22,907 --> 00:32:25,944
- Oh, it burns!
(Tom groaning)
809
00:32:25,944 --> 00:32:27,045
Oh, it burns.
810
00:32:28,913 --> 00:32:30,481
- [Tom] Attention, all personnel.
811
00:32:30,481 --> 00:32:32,850
Father Mulcahy's charity
rumble to raise funds
812
00:32:32,850 --> 00:32:35,553
for the orphanage will
commence at 0800 hours.
813
00:32:35,553 --> 00:32:36,387
That is all.
814
00:32:42,727 --> 00:32:44,562
- [Emily] Man, the Mork from Ork auditions
815
00:32:44,562 --> 00:32:47,031
were a lot more competitive
than I'd been led to believe.
816
00:32:47,031 --> 00:32:47,932
- [Crow] I'll say.
817
00:32:49,534 --> 00:32:52,603
Boot to the head, boot to
the head, boot to the head.
818
00:32:54,806 --> 00:32:56,040
- I think we're ready now, Niki.
819
00:32:56,040 --> 00:32:58,276
- [Tom] We've removed all the leaves.
820
00:32:58,276 --> 00:32:59,610
- Listen, everybody!
821
00:32:59,610 --> 00:33:02,113
- [Emily] One, two, three, eyes on me.
822
00:33:02,113 --> 00:33:04,816
- We must get back into the citadel.
823
00:33:04,816 --> 00:33:07,852
We have to send a message out somehow.
824
00:33:07,852 --> 00:33:09,520
- We should get through
the tunnels all right,
825
00:33:09,520 --> 00:33:12,924
but the citadel itself
it's like a fortress.
826
00:33:12,924 --> 00:33:15,493
- I think that there's a way
through the abandoned caverns
827
00:33:15,493 --> 00:33:16,661
into the power plant.
828
00:33:17,862 --> 00:33:19,163
- Okay, come on, let's go!
829
00:33:19,163 --> 00:33:21,432
- [Crow] These jumpsuits
won't sneak themselves
830
00:33:21,432 --> 00:33:24,135
back into the Battlestar
Galactica wardrobe trailer.
831
00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:29,240
- [Tom] They've got PVC pipes and they're
832
00:33:29,240 --> 00:33:31,109
not afraid to use them.
833
00:33:35,513 --> 00:33:38,516
- [Emily] If you lived
here, you'd be home by now.
834
00:33:40,451 --> 00:33:42,820
- [Crow] Full Metal
Jack and the Beanstalk.
835
00:33:46,190 --> 00:33:47,992
- [Tom] Saruman's Pez dispenser.
836
00:33:51,763 --> 00:33:52,697
- [Emily] Go for Omus.
837
00:33:52,697 --> 00:33:56,100
- [Crow] Oh no, someone fed
Daft Punk after midnight.
838
00:33:58,069 --> 00:33:59,570
- [Robot] Robot master.
839
00:33:59,570 --> 00:34:01,305
We've completed the
mining right through two
840
00:34:01,305 --> 00:34:02,440
and tunnel four.
841
00:34:02,440 --> 00:34:03,341
- [Omus] Excellent.
842
00:34:03,341 --> 00:34:05,610
- [Robot] Request your
immediate inspection.
843
00:34:05,610 --> 00:34:08,112
- Everything is falling neatly into place.
844
00:34:08,112 --> 00:34:09,080
- [Tom] Nap time.
845
00:34:12,884 --> 00:34:14,652
- [Emily] The EDM conference is being held
846
00:34:14,652 --> 00:34:17,055
on the set of "Land of
the Lost" this year.
847
00:34:17,055 --> 00:34:19,924
- [Tom] Hmm.
848
00:34:19,924 --> 00:34:22,427
- [Crow] Hello, New Cleveland!
849
00:34:28,666 --> 00:34:30,735
- [Tom] The password is Fidelio.
850
00:34:32,236 --> 00:34:34,372
- So far no sign of Omus's robots.
851
00:34:34,372 --> 00:34:36,207
- I know, but you'll
have to move fast, Niki.
852
00:34:36,207 --> 00:34:38,976
- When I get into the center,
I'm not gonna need much time.
853
00:34:38,976 --> 00:34:41,079
- Tell them we can't hold out much longer.
854
00:34:42,013 --> 00:34:43,581
Good luck.
- Thanks.
855
00:34:43,581 --> 00:34:46,417
- [Crow] I must say, this film
is having a good hair day.
856
00:34:46,417 --> 00:34:48,719
- [Emily] Oh yeah,
especially Zach Braff here.
857
00:34:53,658 --> 00:34:55,226
(door squeaking)
858
00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:57,428
- [Tom] So much for the
element of surprise.
859
00:35:01,899 --> 00:35:03,201
- [Emily] Good thing for her she's found
860
00:35:03,201 --> 00:35:04,936
the main Prell pipeline.
861
00:35:08,372 --> 00:35:12,810
(Crow imitates hissing and groaning)
862
00:35:14,612 --> 00:35:16,981
The Converse kitten
heel, from steam tunnels
863
00:35:16,981 --> 00:35:20,084
to generator arrays, they're
the stealthy, stylish choice
864
00:35:20,084 --> 00:35:21,919
for deposed governors on the go.
865
00:35:26,791 --> 00:35:29,460
- [Tom] Time to make the robots.
866
00:35:30,561 --> 00:35:31,395
- [Croew] Whew!
867
00:35:31,395 --> 00:35:33,598
That was not even remotely close.
868
00:35:35,032 --> 00:35:37,502
- [Emily] Hair's still
bouncing and behaving good.
869
00:35:42,373 --> 00:35:44,075
(tense music)
870
00:35:44,075 --> 00:35:47,745
- [Tom] First floor, housewares,
linens, killer robots.
871
00:35:49,614 --> 00:35:52,950
- [Crow] Hot implied elevator action.
872
00:35:55,753 --> 00:35:58,723
- [Tom] I'll say it, I
don't get Frank Gehry, okay?
873
00:35:58,723 --> 00:36:00,591
His buildings are too whack-a-doo for me.
874
00:36:00,591 --> 00:36:02,994
Just gimme four walls and a roof, Frank.
875
00:36:05,530 --> 00:36:07,265
- Ooh, chocolate walls.
876
00:36:07,265 --> 00:36:09,133
Are they in Hershey, Pennsylvania?
877
00:36:14,772 --> 00:36:15,873
- Hey, New Washington!
878
00:36:15,873 --> 00:36:18,743
It's Niki in the Morning
with a 40 minute rock block
879
00:36:18,743 --> 00:36:19,577
coming at you.
880
00:36:19,577 --> 00:36:22,980
- Calling New Washington,
calling New Washington.
881
00:36:22,980 --> 00:36:26,083
This is Niki, the governor of Delta 3.
882
00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:28,019
Calling New Washington!
883
00:36:28,019 --> 00:36:30,988
This is the Delta 3 citadel, Niki calling.
884
00:36:30,988 --> 00:36:32,890
We need some assistance.
885
00:36:32,890 --> 00:36:34,292
We need some assistance!
886
00:36:34,292 --> 00:36:36,727
- [Crow] Your call is
very important to us.
887
00:36:36,727 --> 00:36:39,830
Please listen closely as our
menu options have changed.
888
00:36:39,830 --> 00:36:42,200
If you prefer dark chocolate, press one.
889
00:36:42,200 --> 00:36:44,702
If you prefer milk chocolate, press two.
890
00:36:50,908 --> 00:36:52,743
- [Tom] Come on, baby, don't be like that.
891
00:36:52,743 --> 00:36:54,512
I said I was sorry.
892
00:36:55,913 --> 00:36:57,815
- [Emily] Niki with the Irish goodbye.
893
00:36:58,883 --> 00:37:01,886
- [Crow] Back down the
Wonkavator and I'm home free.
894
00:37:03,788 --> 00:37:06,257
- [Tom] Who touched my stuff?
895
00:37:06,257 --> 00:37:07,425
- What's this?
896
00:37:08,659 --> 00:37:11,796
The channels are open to New Washington.
897
00:37:11,796 --> 00:37:12,630
- This is New Washington.
898
00:37:12,630 --> 00:37:13,464
We hear you, Niki.
899
00:37:13,464 --> 00:37:16,167
Proceed with your message.
- Wait, my name's not Niki.
900
00:37:18,336 --> 00:37:22,139
(Emily humming "The Girl from Ipanema")
901
00:37:22,139 --> 00:37:23,708
- Sound general alarm.
902
00:37:23,708 --> 00:37:25,710
- [Tom] And call Major League!
903
00:37:25,710 --> 00:37:27,878
Nobody gets my jokes.
904
00:37:33,317 --> 00:37:35,052
- [Emily] Oh, looks like she's
got her Sketchers on now.
905
00:37:35,052 --> 00:37:36,520
Confident strides.
906
00:37:39,090 --> 00:37:41,225
- [Crow] Of all the days
I don't wear my Fitbit!
907
00:37:41,225 --> 00:37:42,393
Whee!
908
00:37:42,393 --> 00:37:43,961
I'm getting so many steps in.
909
00:37:46,130 --> 00:37:47,632
- [Tom] Please spare a moment to discuss
910
00:37:47,632 --> 00:37:50,334
these high quality science
based nutrition products
911
00:37:50,334 --> 00:37:54,071
from Herbalife and how you
can join our growing team.
912
00:37:54,071 --> 00:37:56,507
- [Crow] Oops, that's
coming out of his paycheck.
913
00:37:58,442 --> 00:37:59,944
- I couldn't get through!
914
00:37:59,944 --> 00:38:01,445
- Damn!
915
00:38:01,445 --> 00:38:02,280
- [Emily] Freeze!
916
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:03,648
Okay, now we need an occupation.
917
00:38:05,049 --> 00:38:08,386
- [Bots] We are that box from Texaco.
918
00:38:08,386 --> 00:38:10,254
We work from Maine to Mexico.
919
00:38:12,657 --> 00:38:15,059
- [Emily] Aw, we should have
hired a fight choreographer.
920
00:38:15,059 --> 00:38:16,294
What were we thinking?
921
00:38:16,294 --> 00:38:18,095
(tense music)
922
00:38:18,095 --> 00:38:20,064
- [Tom] Canadian Public
Television presents
923
00:38:20,064 --> 00:38:22,433
"Seven Brides for Seven Robots."
924
00:38:26,437 --> 00:38:27,271
- Come on, move it!
925
00:38:27,271 --> 00:38:28,105
Let's go!
926
00:38:29,240 --> 00:38:31,442
- [Emily] Don't you
quit on me, Big Theresa!
927
00:38:33,010 --> 00:38:35,946
- [Crow] Quick, cheese it
before his mom gets home.
928
00:38:38,516 --> 00:38:41,452
- Mark Hamill, Big Theresa, Wonderbra guy,
929
00:38:41,452 --> 00:38:44,722
Wednesday Adams, the Pieta
twins, Bondage Nic Cage,
930
00:38:44,722 --> 00:38:46,490
and Monica Rambeau.
931
00:38:46,490 --> 00:38:47,858
- Two more dead.
932
00:38:47,858 --> 00:38:48,693
What now?
933
00:38:49,627 --> 00:38:51,329
- I'm not sure, Merrick.
934
00:38:53,831 --> 00:38:55,800
♪ Let me take you on a little trip ♪
935
00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:58,102
♪ My super sonic ship
is at your disposal ♪
936
00:38:58,102 --> 00:39:00,404
♪ If you feel so inclined ♪
937
00:39:00,404 --> 00:39:03,174
♪ Well all right ♪
938
00:39:04,342 --> 00:39:06,377
- [Crow] Fries are up.
939
00:39:06,377 --> 00:39:07,912
- [Sparks] Doctor?
940
00:39:07,912 --> 00:39:09,313
- [Tom] Doctor, give me the news.
941
00:39:09,313 --> 00:39:11,382
I've got a bad case of loving you.
942
00:39:11,382 --> 00:39:13,184
- [Sparks] We have malfunctions
943
00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:18,189
of the gylectron compass,
auto guidance systems,
944
00:39:18,422 --> 00:39:20,791
and the contra-flow units.
945
00:39:20,791 --> 00:39:22,793
- [Emily] Great, good talk, Sparks.
946
00:39:22,793 --> 00:39:25,363
(solemn music)
947
00:39:28,432 --> 00:39:30,101
- Gonna have to set down.
948
00:39:30,101 --> 00:39:31,602
- Well, we can't go back to the moon.
949
00:39:31,602 --> 00:39:35,072
- There's only one place
we can go to make repairs.
950
00:39:35,072 --> 00:39:36,841
- [Viewers] Broadway!
951
00:39:39,143 --> 00:39:42,079
- Set coordinates for Vector 759.
952
00:39:43,314 --> 00:39:45,850
There's an old emergency
tanker station there.
953
00:39:45,850 --> 00:39:49,120
More or less abandoned now,
but the guidance beacon
954
00:39:49,120 --> 00:39:50,454
ought to be in working order.
955
00:39:50,454 --> 00:39:52,156
- Is there anyone living in the area?
956
00:39:52,156 --> 00:39:53,290
- Yeah.
957
00:39:53,290 --> 00:39:55,493
Charlie Montgomery, an old friend of mine,
958
00:39:55,493 --> 00:39:57,928
sort of guard caretaker at the station.
959
00:39:59,163 --> 00:40:01,665
- [Tom] Sparks used to
hand double for this.
960
00:40:01,665 --> 00:40:05,102
- Seven years since the
last of the great robot wars
961
00:40:06,170 --> 00:40:08,038
and the end of the civilization
as we had known it.
962
00:40:08,038 --> 00:40:09,940
- [Emily] And I feel fine.
963
00:40:09,940 --> 00:40:12,443
- Funny, I still think of
myself as an Earth child.
964
00:40:12,443 --> 00:40:14,311
- [Tom] Emily, do you
still think of yourself
965
00:40:14,311 --> 00:40:15,513
as an Earth child?
966
00:40:15,513 --> 00:40:16,347
- [Emily] Oh, I don't know.
967
00:40:16,347 --> 00:40:18,582
Ask me after I've been
here for seven years.
968
00:40:18,582 --> 00:40:20,451
- [Crow] No human has
ever lived here that long.
969
00:40:20,451 --> 00:40:22,486
Just ask the other guys.
- Wait, what?
970
00:40:23,320 --> 00:40:24,822
- [Tom] This shot warrants a harp?
971
00:40:24,822 --> 00:40:26,457
- [Sparks] Shut down completed.
972
00:40:26,457 --> 00:40:29,693
I'll stay with you, Doctor,
and help with your repairs.
973
00:40:29,693 --> 00:40:30,494
- [Caball] All right.
974
00:40:30,494 --> 00:40:32,062
- [Emily] And no one knows you are dying.
975
00:40:32,062 --> 00:40:33,664
- We'll see if we can
find Charlie Montgomery.
976
00:40:33,664 --> 00:40:34,765
- Sure, give him my regards.
977
00:40:34,765 --> 00:40:36,967
Tell him he owes me a rematch at chess.
978
00:40:36,967 --> 00:40:38,335
- Okay.
- Bye.
979
00:40:40,137 --> 00:40:41,939
- [Crow] Oh, I see
litter has finally become
980
00:40:41,939 --> 00:40:44,875
sentient on Earth, those
used to be Hefty bags.
981
00:40:46,043 --> 00:40:47,545
- [Tom] Camp Crystal Lake.
982
00:40:47,545 --> 00:40:49,413
This is gonna be a fun summer.
983
00:40:50,781 --> 00:40:53,884
- [Emily] Your lungs look
great in this fresh air, Jason.
984
00:40:53,884 --> 00:40:57,354
- [Crow] Beyond Mercury, but
before you reach the stars,
985
00:40:57,354 --> 00:41:01,125
there's a radiation-rich planet
that's waiting just for you.
986
00:41:01,125 --> 00:41:03,894
- [Emily] Lush autumnal
hues, desolate outposts
987
00:41:03,894 --> 00:41:05,996
and abandoned war surplus beckon,
988
00:41:05,996 --> 00:41:07,965
just begging to be explored.
989
00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:12,369
♪ You'll fall in love with New Earth ♪
990
00:41:18,442 --> 00:41:20,144
- [Emily] Okay, now you keep quiet.
991
00:41:20,144 --> 00:41:23,214
I'm gonna try and haggle him
down to $50 for that Jeep.
992
00:41:25,216 --> 00:41:27,218
- [Crow] In this film, we hope to show you
993
00:41:27,218 --> 00:41:28,986
how not to be seen.
994
00:41:34,058 --> 00:41:35,459
- What's wrong?
- I hungee.
995
00:41:36,360 --> 00:41:37,595
- I don't know.
996
00:41:38,963 --> 00:41:40,798
- [Crow] I hungee too.
997
00:41:41,966 --> 00:41:45,536
- [Emily] I spy with my little
eye something that's brown.
998
00:41:46,604 --> 00:41:48,439
- Well, come on, let's take a look inside.
999
00:41:49,874 --> 00:41:52,042
- Whoa, visible panty lines.
- Whoa.
1000
00:41:53,878 --> 00:41:54,945
(knocking on door)
1001
00:41:54,945 --> 00:41:57,515
- Charlie?
- Occupado!
1002
00:41:57,515 --> 00:41:58,849
- Charlie Montgomery?
1003
00:41:58,849 --> 00:42:00,284
- [Emily] You've been served.
1004
00:42:07,591 --> 00:42:08,859
- He must be around someplace.
1005
00:42:08,859 --> 00:42:10,594
- [Tom] Well, that narrows it down.
1006
00:42:11,629 --> 00:42:12,863
- How's the equipment?
1007
00:42:12,863 --> 00:42:14,632
- Seems to be all right.
1008
00:42:14,632 --> 00:42:16,433
I'm gonna go check the tower.
1009
00:42:16,433 --> 00:42:17,868
- Okay.
- I have a boyfriend.
1010
00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,870
- Mind how you go.
1011
00:42:19,870 --> 00:42:20,704
- Okay.
1012
00:42:20,704 --> 00:42:21,972
- [Crow] "Mind how you go?"
1013
00:42:21,972 --> 00:42:23,941
God, why can't I talk to girls?
1014
00:42:27,144 --> 00:42:29,680
- [Emily] Man, I hate coming
home for Thanksgiving.
1015
00:42:36,220 --> 00:42:37,922
- [Tom] Say what you will about brutalism,
1016
00:42:37,922 --> 00:42:39,723
it holds up during a robot war.
1017
00:42:39,723 --> 00:42:41,225
- [Crow] Mm-hmm.
1018
00:42:41,225 --> 00:42:42,960
♪ Rolling, rolling, rolling. ♪
1019
00:42:42,960 --> 00:42:45,429
♪ Keep those trash bags rolling ♪
1020
00:42:45,429 --> 00:42:47,097
- [Emily] The scent of things to come.
1021
00:42:47,097 --> 00:42:48,999
The new fragrance by Calvin Klein.
1022
00:42:50,034 --> 00:42:52,570
- [Tom] My hair will catch
a better breeze up here.
1023
00:42:59,276 --> 00:43:00,978
- [Crow] Better one or better two?
1024
00:43:00,978 --> 00:43:01,812
Better one?
1025
00:43:04,415 --> 00:43:06,584
- [Emily] Top of the world, Ma!
1026
00:43:06,584 --> 00:43:08,118
I've always wanted to say that.
1027
00:43:10,087 --> 00:43:11,822
- [Tom] Kim, remember your training.
1028
00:43:11,822 --> 00:43:14,224
Always bring a Scrunchy.
1029
00:43:14,224 --> 00:43:17,127
- [Crow] Wimpy, wimpy, wimpy!
1030
00:43:17,127 --> 00:43:20,564
- [Tom] Hefty, Hefty, Hefty!
1031
00:43:20,564 --> 00:43:22,900
- [Emily] Well, back down into harm's way.
1032
00:43:26,870 --> 00:43:28,038
- [Crow] Whee.
1033
00:43:32,576 --> 00:43:34,612
- He must have some
tools around someplace.
1034
00:43:34,612 --> 00:43:35,946
- [Emily] Try looking in the mirror.
1035
00:43:35,946 --> 00:43:38,349
(bots laugh)
1036
00:43:44,154 --> 00:43:47,625
- [Tom] Kristin Wiig is
Cheryl Ladd as Lindsay Wagner
1037
00:43:47,625 --> 00:43:49,193
in "The Bionic Woman."
1038
00:43:53,464 --> 00:43:54,298
- [Emily] I thought they'd have at least
1039
00:43:54,298 --> 00:43:56,333
have some corn nuts or something.
1040
00:43:57,234 --> 00:43:59,903
- [Tom] Let's see what's
behind curtain number three!
1041
00:44:02,006 --> 00:44:05,009
- [Crow] The Libyans shot me, Marty!
1042
00:44:07,144 --> 00:44:09,847
- [Emily] Kim, I found
someone to play chess with!
1043
00:44:09,847 --> 00:44:11,281
- Kim?
1044
00:44:11,281 --> 00:44:13,250
This is Jason calling Starstreak.
1045
00:44:13,250 --> 00:44:15,319
Come in, please, Starstreak.
1046
00:44:15,319 --> 00:44:16,153
- [Tom] Darn it all.
1047
00:44:16,153 --> 00:44:20,090
If I get one more of these
robocalls, I'm gonna lose it.
1048
00:44:20,090 --> 00:44:21,859
- Yes, what is it, Jason?
1049
00:44:21,859 --> 00:44:23,327
- I found a dead body
in the Earth station.
1050
00:44:23,327 --> 00:44:24,995
- [Emily] Can I keep him?
1051
00:44:24,995 --> 00:44:26,430
- Charlie?
1052
00:44:26,430 --> 00:44:28,365
- Afraid so, and that's not all.
1053
00:44:28,365 --> 00:44:31,068
- He smells.
- I can't seem to locate Kim.
1054
00:44:31,068 --> 00:44:31,902
- What do you mean?
1055
00:44:31,902 --> 00:44:33,704
- I don't know, she disappeared.
1056
00:44:33,704 --> 00:44:35,339
- [Caball] Dis...
1057
00:44:35,339 --> 00:44:37,574
- Oh sir, I've got a vehicle here.
1058
00:44:37,574 --> 00:44:39,443
I don't know if I can
get it running, though.
1059
00:44:39,443 --> 00:44:41,512
- It's rough terrain, you'll need it.
1060
00:44:41,512 --> 00:44:43,313
I'm gonna send Sparks to help you.
1061
00:44:43,313 --> 00:44:44,148
- Okay, out.
1062
00:44:45,215 --> 00:44:47,351
(device whirring)
1063
00:44:47,351 --> 00:44:48,519
- [Crow] Oh.
1064
00:44:48,519 --> 00:44:49,720
- What took you so long?
1065
00:44:49,720 --> 00:44:51,855
- [Sparks] I'm a little out of condition.
1066
00:44:51,855 --> 00:44:52,756
- [Emily] Sparks, you're the best.
1067
00:44:52,756 --> 00:44:55,192
- Detectors locate Kim's vital signs
1068
00:44:55,192 --> 00:44:57,161
three kilometers west two quadrant.
1069
00:44:58,028 --> 00:44:59,163
- Oh yeah, she alone?
1070
00:44:59,163 --> 00:45:00,864
- I can't get an exact reading,
1071
00:45:00,864 --> 00:45:03,634
but I'm picking up a high
radiation level in this area.
1072
00:45:03,634 --> 00:45:06,170
- [Tom] Well, that explains my new toe.
1073
00:45:06,170 --> 00:45:07,471
- Well, hop in, unless you wanna walk.
1074
00:45:07,471 --> 00:45:08,972
(device whirring)
1075
00:45:08,972 --> 00:45:11,408
- [Crow] Why doesn't
Sparks just BLT to Kim?
1076
00:45:11,408 --> 00:45:13,310
- [Emily] All right,
that's your only question?
1077
00:45:13,310 --> 00:45:14,778
- Stop doing that.
1078
00:45:18,215 --> 00:45:19,216
Hold on.
1079
00:45:19,216 --> 00:45:23,620
(viewers singing "Benny Hill Theme")
1080
00:45:37,735 --> 00:45:39,737
- [Tom] Looks like they ran out of plot.
1081
00:45:41,972 --> 00:45:43,373
- [Sparks] I detect a malfunction
1082
00:45:43,373 --> 00:45:45,442
in the H2O containment system.
1083
00:45:45,442 --> 00:45:46,610
- [Emily] Gah, it burns!
1084
00:45:46,610 --> 00:45:48,579
When will I learn?
1085
00:45:48,579 --> 00:45:49,580
- Now? What?
1086
00:45:49,580 --> 00:45:51,582
- [Crow] I'm useless.
1087
00:45:51,582 --> 00:45:54,418
(device whirring)
1088
00:45:54,418 --> 00:45:55,986
- [Sparks] I'm picking up Kim.
1089
00:45:55,986 --> 00:45:59,323
All life function seem
intact, but she isn't alone.
1090
00:45:59,323 --> 00:46:02,693
Sensors also detect higher
radiation levels ahead.
1091
00:46:02,693 --> 00:46:04,828
- [Emily] Robot knees
apparently not in the budget.
1092
00:46:04,828 --> 00:46:05,662
- [Tom] Mm-mm.
1093
00:46:07,464 --> 00:46:09,867
- Stop, Jason.
- I just thought of a haiku.
1094
00:46:10,734 --> 00:46:12,369
- [Sparks] Let me lead the way.
1095
00:46:12,369 --> 00:46:13,203
- [Emily] Aw.
1096
00:46:13,203 --> 00:46:14,571
That's sweet.
1097
00:46:14,571 --> 00:46:16,373
Would you guys ever escort me into
1098
00:46:16,373 --> 00:46:18,442
a dangerous unknown situation?
1099
00:46:18,442 --> 00:46:20,110
- [Tom] I'd walk with you so I could
1100
00:46:20,110 --> 00:46:21,478
better criticize your choices.
1101
00:46:21,478 --> 00:46:22,846
- [Crow] I'd let you walk in front of me
1102
00:46:22,846 --> 00:46:26,150
so you could shield me from
the worst of the shrapnel.
1103
00:46:26,150 --> 00:46:27,684
- [Tom] And I'd definitely
film the whole thing
1104
00:46:27,684 --> 00:46:29,453
for Worldstar Hip Hop.
1105
00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:31,221
- [Bots] Worldstar!
1106
00:46:31,221 --> 00:46:34,992
(doors whirring and banging)
1107
00:46:42,533 --> 00:46:45,068
- Welcome to the Shape of Crimes to Come,
1108
00:46:45,068 --> 00:46:47,671
the podcast where we exploit
the real pain and suffering
1109
00:46:47,671 --> 00:46:49,373
of violent crime so you have something
1110
00:46:49,373 --> 00:46:51,475
to listen to on your commute.
1111
00:46:51,475 --> 00:46:55,712
Sponsored by Colon Friend Soy
Tea, the tea you can chew.
1112
00:46:57,181 --> 00:46:58,215
The Earth.
1113
00:46:58,215 --> 00:46:59,283
The future,
1114
00:46:59,283 --> 00:47:01,518
Charlie Montgomery, an
accused chess player,
1115
00:47:01,518 --> 00:47:04,154
is found dead in his shower
in an otherwise boring scene
1116
00:47:04,154 --> 00:47:06,723
that we've adapted into
a five-episode podcast
1117
00:47:06,723 --> 00:47:09,760
plus a possible Netflix series.
1118
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:12,162
On today's episode, who
made Charlie Montgomery
1119
00:47:12,162 --> 00:47:14,665
cry out checkmate to life?
1120
00:47:15,799 --> 00:47:18,302
For more, I'm talking to Tom Servo,
1121
00:47:18,302 --> 00:47:19,903
self-taught forensic scientist,
1122
00:47:19,903 --> 00:47:22,706
amateur UFC fighter,
and host of the podcast
1123
00:47:22,706 --> 00:47:25,142
Servo Up the Truth on Ludacrous XM.
1124
00:47:27,110 --> 00:47:27,978
- Hey, Emily.
1125
00:47:27,978 --> 00:47:28,846
Sup?
1126
00:47:28,846 --> 00:47:30,981
You're welcome for having me.
1127
00:47:30,981 --> 00:47:31,949
Sorry.
1128
00:47:31,949 --> 00:47:33,183
I'm funny a lot.
1129
00:47:33,183 --> 00:47:35,385
Anyway, when I was at the gym this morning
1130
00:47:35,385 --> 00:47:38,155
bench pressing 230, a personal record,
1131
00:47:38,155 --> 00:47:39,590
I had an epiphany.
1132
00:47:39,590 --> 00:47:42,759
Dr. Caball said that
Charlie, what's his name?
1133
00:47:42,759 --> 00:47:43,594
- Montgomery.
1134
00:47:44,661 --> 00:47:45,562
- Whatever.
1135
00:47:45,562 --> 00:47:48,765
Anyway, he said he owed
him a chess rematch.
1136
00:47:48,765 --> 00:47:51,802
Well, I saw a tweet about a YouTube video
1137
00:47:51,802 --> 00:47:55,672
from a guy who heard on Reddit
that chess uses knights,
1138
00:47:55,672 --> 00:47:57,741
and you know what else happened at night?
1139
00:47:59,843 --> 00:48:00,911
Watergate.
1140
00:48:00,911 --> 00:48:02,079
- Fascinating.
1141
00:48:02,079 --> 00:48:04,047
But what does that actually mean?
1142
00:48:04,047 --> 00:48:06,350
- Look, I'm just picking
up the puzzle pieces.
1143
00:48:06,350 --> 00:48:07,684
You gotta put 'em together.
1144
00:48:07,684 --> 00:48:11,121
It's all in my book, "Lifting
Weights and Lifting Truth:
1145
00:48:11,121 --> 00:48:14,424
Real Talk From a Guy Who Never
Claimed to be an Expert,"
1146
00:48:14,424 --> 00:48:17,694
by Tom "I bench 230" Servo.
1147
00:48:17,694 --> 00:48:19,930
- If you're just joining
us, which would be weird,
1148
00:48:19,930 --> 00:48:22,733
this is a podcast, we've
been hearing from someone
1149
00:48:22,733 --> 00:48:25,469
who was nowhere near the crime scene.
1150
00:48:25,469 --> 00:48:26,904
And speaking of someone who was
1151
00:48:26,904 --> 00:48:29,339
nowhere near the crime
scene, we turn to the host
1152
00:48:29,339 --> 00:48:33,243
of the podcast Delta 411,
Whoever Smelta It, Delta It
1153
00:48:34,111 --> 00:48:35,545
on the Niblet network.
1154
00:48:35,545 --> 00:48:37,214
Crow T. Robot.
1155
00:48:37,214 --> 00:48:41,218
- I cannot believe you made
that snake oil salesman
1156
00:48:41,218 --> 00:48:42,920
your first guest.
1157
00:48:42,920 --> 00:48:45,055
I'm the one who tied the Montgomery murder
1158
00:48:45,055 --> 00:48:49,226
to Area 51, 52, and 53.
1159
00:48:49,226 --> 00:48:52,963
Plus the quote-unquote moon landing.
1160
00:48:52,963 --> 00:48:54,398
- Aha, I see.
1161
00:48:54,398 --> 00:48:57,200
But we're literally in space right now.
1162
00:48:57,200 --> 00:48:59,303
- Your space, not my space.
1163
00:48:59,303 --> 00:49:01,838
And what does my space
have to do with this?
1164
00:49:03,206 --> 00:49:05,442
Of course, the internet!
1165
00:49:05,442 --> 00:49:06,276
Boom!
1166
00:49:06,276 --> 00:49:09,112
If I had a mic, I'd drop it on your foot.
1167
00:49:09,112 --> 00:49:11,448
- Yeah, it all makes sense.
1168
00:49:11,448 --> 00:49:12,683
- Yes.
1169
00:49:12,683 --> 00:49:13,517
Wait.
1170
00:49:13,517 --> 00:49:16,320
- Purple cape plus two pieces of flare.
1171
00:49:16,320 --> 00:49:19,423
Read between the bling, sheeple!
1172
00:49:19,423 --> 00:49:21,291
- Those pauses between sentences.
1173
00:49:21,291 --> 00:49:23,193
That's where he stores the bodies.
1174
00:49:23,193 --> 00:49:25,896
- And what is he really
saying in the times
1175
00:49:25,896 --> 00:49:27,297
he's not saying anything?
1176
00:49:27,297 --> 00:49:28,432
- Oh, I agree.
1177
00:49:28,432 --> 00:49:29,466
- Well, I don't.
1178
00:49:29,466 --> 00:49:30,834
I trust no one.
1179
00:49:30,834 --> 00:49:31,668
Not even me!
1180
00:49:31,668 --> 00:49:34,638
- Well, this goes all the way
to the top, the north pole!
1181
00:49:34,638 --> 00:49:35,672
(Crow gasps)
1182
00:49:35,672 --> 00:49:36,573
- [Bots] Santa!
1183
00:49:37,975 --> 00:49:39,409
- Intermission sign.
1184
00:49:39,409 --> 00:49:41,812
And just when we were getting somewhere.
1185
00:49:41,812 --> 00:49:43,580
- What does intermission
not want us to know?
1186
00:49:43,580 --> 00:49:44,414
Huh, huh?
1187
00:49:45,349 --> 00:49:46,783
What does it mean!
1188
00:49:49,152 --> 00:49:50,354
- It's all connected.
1189
00:49:50,354 --> 00:49:54,091
Joe McCarthy, Richard Nixon,
Studebaker, television.
1190
00:49:54,091 --> 00:49:57,294
- Oh, and Billy Joel was the
original conspiracy podcaster?
1191
00:49:57,294 --> 00:49:58,095
Wow.
1192
00:49:58,095 --> 00:50:00,197
- Sing me a crime piano, man.
1193
00:50:01,164 --> 00:50:02,599
- Oh.
1194
00:50:02,599 --> 00:50:03,433
- Ahem.
1195
00:50:03,433 --> 00:50:06,470
Welcome back to the
Shape of Crimes to Come,
1196
00:50:06,470 --> 00:50:08,739
the only podcast with an intermission.
1197
00:50:08,739 --> 00:50:09,573
- Sup.
1198
00:50:09,573 --> 00:50:12,843
- Let's take a moment to talk
about Colon Friends Soy Tea,
1199
00:50:12,843 --> 00:50:15,445
the tea with real crunch.
1200
00:50:15,445 --> 00:50:18,515
- Actually, Emily, Colon
Friend pulled their support
1201
00:50:18,515 --> 00:50:20,350
after last segment, they were comfortable
1202
00:50:20,350 --> 00:50:24,187
talking about Areas 51 and 53, but Area 52
1203
00:50:24,187 --> 00:50:25,622
really scared them.
1204
00:50:27,457 --> 00:50:29,726
- You don't wanna mess
with military-industrial
1205
00:50:29,726 --> 00:50:31,094
beverage complex!
1206
00:50:31,094 --> 00:50:32,462
- Why, do you think they're a part of it?
1207
00:50:32,462 --> 00:50:33,296
- Why not?
1208
00:50:33,296 --> 00:50:34,364
It's all made up anyway.
1209
00:50:34,364 --> 00:50:36,500
- Are we in danger?!
1210
00:50:36,500 --> 00:50:39,736
(alarm blaring)
(all shouting)
1211
00:50:39,736 --> 00:50:40,971
- We got movie sign!
1212
00:50:40,971 --> 00:50:43,073
We didn't start the fire!
1213
00:50:43,073 --> 00:50:46,810
(doors whirring and banging)
1214
00:50:49,613 --> 00:50:52,115
(tense music)
1215
00:50:54,351 --> 00:50:56,453
Whoa, they made it to Burning Man.
1216
00:50:58,188 --> 00:51:00,657
- [Crow] The Playa provides, dude.
1217
00:51:03,226 --> 00:51:05,062
- [Emily] Hey, you can
back off on the timpani
1218
00:51:05,062 --> 00:51:06,897
a little there, Gustav Holst.
1219
00:51:09,599 --> 00:51:10,567
- [Bots] Surprise!
1220
00:51:10,567 --> 00:51:12,302
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1221
00:51:12,302 --> 00:51:13,670
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
1222
00:51:13,670 --> 00:51:15,172
♪ Happy birthday dear ♪
1223
00:51:15,172 --> 00:51:16,006
- Jason!
1224
00:51:19,109 --> 00:51:19,943
Jason!
1225
00:51:22,946 --> 00:51:24,247
- Kim, get behind these cars!
1226
00:51:24,247 --> 00:51:25,382
- Jason, what's wrong?
- Come on, Kim!
1227
00:51:25,382 --> 00:51:26,716
- They're not gonna hurt you!
1228
00:51:26,716 --> 00:51:28,485
They only want our help.
1229
00:51:28,485 --> 00:51:30,087
- What do you mean.
1230
00:51:31,021 --> 00:51:32,222
- They're children.
1231
00:51:32,222 --> 00:51:33,590
- [Tom] And they're covered in dank,
1232
00:51:33,590 --> 00:51:35,725
high-grade medical marijuana.
1233
00:51:38,462 --> 00:51:41,031
(solemn music)
1234
00:51:42,966 --> 00:51:46,069
- [Crow] He wants you too, Malachai.
1235
00:51:48,371 --> 00:51:50,307
- [Emily] Jim Henson's Sniper Babies.
1236
00:51:52,409 --> 00:51:55,512
- [Crow] Ugh, you haven't been
picking at this, have you?
1237
00:52:02,319 --> 00:52:05,589
- [Tom] Is that a map to dry land?
1238
00:52:05,589 --> 00:52:08,058
- [Crow] I hope this
isn't contagious, ugh.
1239
00:52:16,566 --> 00:52:17,934
- [Jason] These children must be survivors
1240
00:52:17,934 --> 00:52:19,102
of the great robot war.
1241
00:52:19,102 --> 00:52:21,738
- [Crow] You can tell because
of their army jackets.
1242
00:52:28,345 --> 00:52:29,613
- [Jason] They must have
been taken from the city
1243
00:52:29,613 --> 00:52:30,714
just before it started.
1244
00:52:30,714 --> 00:52:33,483
- [Tom] I've had to Truffle
Shuffle just to survive.
1245
00:52:36,052 --> 00:52:37,654
- [GPC] This harshes my mellow.
1246
00:52:37,654 --> 00:52:38,488
- I don't believe this.
1247
00:52:38,488 --> 00:52:40,223
These kids must have been
living out here for years.
1248
00:52:40,223 --> 00:52:41,992
- [Crow] Even months.
1249
00:52:41,992 --> 00:52:43,760
- You all right?
1250
00:52:43,760 --> 00:52:44,928
- Fine.
- Bonk.
1251
00:52:47,497 --> 00:52:48,832
- I was scared.
- Yeah.
1252
00:52:48,832 --> 00:52:50,033
- [GPC] Totes.
1253
00:52:50,033 --> 00:52:52,369
- I found a dead body
in the Earth station.
1254
00:52:52,369 --> 00:52:53,703
It was Charlie.
1255
00:52:53,703 --> 00:52:55,906
- The children told me.
- Through dance!
1256
00:52:55,906 --> 00:52:57,340
- He was trying to help them.
1257
00:52:59,176 --> 00:53:01,912
Jason, they're sick, very sick.
1258
00:53:01,912 --> 00:53:03,213
- Yeah.
1259
00:53:03,213 --> 00:53:04,414
- Radiation.
1260
00:53:04,414 --> 00:53:06,650
- [Tom] And too much screen time.
1261
00:53:06,650 --> 00:53:08,785
- Hey, don't be afraid.
1262
00:53:08,785 --> 00:53:10,687
Sparks is our friend.
1263
00:53:10,687 --> 00:53:12,522
- [Sparks] I guess they
still have a fear of robots
1264
00:53:12,522 --> 00:53:14,224
after what they did to this world.
1265
00:53:15,058 --> 00:53:18,061
These old weapons are
leaking toxic substances.
1266
00:53:18,061 --> 00:53:18,895
- [Crow] Ugh.
1267
00:53:18,895 --> 00:53:20,330
- [Sparks] I suggest
the children be treated
1268
00:53:20,330 --> 00:53:23,066
with RADIC-Q-2 as soon as possible.
1269
00:53:24,301 --> 00:53:26,670
I'll be going back to the ship now.
1270
00:53:26,670 --> 00:53:28,104
- [Crow] I hate kids.
1271
00:53:28,104 --> 00:53:30,040
- Jason, let's get the kids out of here.
1272
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:31,942
- Let's get back to the ship.
1273
00:53:31,942 --> 00:53:32,776
- Come on, kids.
1274
00:53:32,776 --> 00:53:35,478
- [Crow] We're with mutant
protective services.
1275
00:53:35,478 --> 00:53:38,648
- [Sparks] We must inform Jason
and Kim of your condition.
1276
00:53:38,648 --> 00:53:41,885
- Oh, they've got enough to
do without worrying about me.
1277
00:53:41,885 --> 00:53:42,719
Anyway.
1278
00:53:43,587 --> 00:53:44,421
I feel fine.
1279
00:53:44,421 --> 00:53:45,922
- [Tom] In my baby bjorn.
1280
00:53:45,922 --> 00:53:50,393
No, I managed this far, and
I'll make it through the end.
1281
00:53:52,162 --> 00:53:54,831
- [Crow] Oh, I forgot you
graduated from John Hopkins,
1282
00:53:54,831 --> 00:53:56,566
Dr. Curie.
1283
00:53:56,566 --> 00:53:58,034
- [Jason] This is Jason
calling Starstreak,
1284
00:53:58,034 --> 00:53:59,703
come in, please, Starstreak.
1285
00:53:59,703 --> 00:54:01,338
- [Crow] So it's called Kidz Bop.
1286
00:54:01,338 --> 00:54:03,473
We do radio-friendly covers of pop songs
1287
00:54:03,473 --> 00:54:05,275
and take out all the dirty stuff.
1288
00:54:05,275 --> 00:54:06,977
- [Jason] We're on our
way back to the ship.
1289
00:54:06,977 --> 00:54:08,578
- Affirmative.
- All right, out.
1290
00:54:08,578 --> 00:54:10,480
- Jason, would you just listen to me?
1291
00:54:10,480 --> 00:54:12,115
- We've gotta get back to the ship
1292
00:54:12,115 --> 00:54:13,583
and back on our way to Delta 3.
1293
00:54:13,583 --> 00:54:15,151
- These children need our help.
1294
00:54:16,052 --> 00:54:18,021
- [Tom] Take a knee, Legolas Squad.
1295
00:54:18,021 --> 00:54:21,324
- Look, we can't go back the moon now.
1296
00:54:21,324 --> 00:54:22,792
We can't take these children with us.
1297
00:54:22,792 --> 00:54:25,762
- [GPC] I just ate the
laws of the Teddy Grahams.
1298
00:54:25,762 --> 00:54:28,198
- We can get to Delta 3, we
can pick up a supply of RADIC
1299
00:54:28,198 --> 00:54:29,933
and be back here in a few days.
1300
00:54:30,967 --> 00:54:32,435
That's the best chance
these kids have got,
1301
00:54:32,435 --> 00:54:33,336
and you know that.
1302
00:54:33,336 --> 00:54:37,073
- [Crow] Well, just put on a
Blippi video, they'll be fine.
1303
00:54:37,073 --> 00:54:37,907
- Yeah.
1304
00:54:39,476 --> 00:54:40,577
- [Tom] She bought it.
1305
00:54:43,680 --> 00:54:45,382
- [GPC] Oh, I should have never eaten
1306
00:54:45,382 --> 00:54:47,150
those jalapeno poppers!
1307
00:54:49,919 --> 00:54:51,288
- [Sparks] All secure here.
1308
00:54:52,255 --> 00:54:53,456
- Five.
1309
00:54:53,456 --> 00:54:54,557
Four.
1310
00:54:54,557 --> 00:54:55,592
Three.
1311
00:54:55,592 --> 00:54:56,626
Two.
1312
00:54:56,626 --> 00:54:57,460
One.
1313
00:54:59,529 --> 00:55:01,298
- [Crow] And so another gathering
1314
00:55:01,298 --> 00:55:04,067
of the Young Carol Channings concludes.
1315
00:55:06,436 --> 00:55:09,239
- [Tom] Set course for I'm outta here...
1316
00:55:11,975 --> 00:55:15,412
- [Sparks] Correct compass ratio 0.289.
1317
00:55:15,412 --> 00:55:18,248
- [GPC] That's A, right?
1318
00:55:18,248 --> 00:55:19,049
Did it.
1319
00:55:20,750 --> 00:55:23,386
- Activate pulse generators
for force shield.
1320
00:55:23,386 --> 00:55:25,588
- [Crow] Word salad activated.
1321
00:55:25,588 --> 00:55:27,824
- [Sparks] Pulse generator activated.
1322
00:55:27,824 --> 00:55:28,658
- Good.
1323
00:55:30,427 --> 00:55:32,629
- [Tom] I sort of asked for an epidural.
1324
00:55:38,601 --> 00:55:39,436
- [GPC] Oh.
1325
00:55:39,436 --> 00:55:41,037
Do they have HR in space?
1326
00:55:44,507 --> 00:55:46,142
- Initiating spectrum drive.
1327
00:55:46,976 --> 00:55:48,345
- [Crow] Plunge it, Chewie.
1328
00:55:49,512 --> 00:55:51,381
(tense music)
1329
00:55:51,381 --> 00:55:53,316
- [Tom] Activating
"Night on Bald Mountain."
1330
00:55:53,316 --> 00:55:55,819
(tense music)
1331
00:56:00,357 --> 00:56:03,126
(bots murmuring)
1332
00:56:03,993 --> 00:56:06,596
- [GPC] Whoever heard of a
planet that wasn't round?
1333
00:56:10,100 --> 00:56:12,535
- [Sparks] Force shield
functioning as programed.
1334
00:56:14,003 --> 00:56:15,505
- Strange experience.
1335
00:56:16,406 --> 00:56:19,075
I don't feel anything.
- I'm a psychopath.
1336
00:56:19,075 --> 00:56:21,911
- And we're approaching
the speed of light.
1337
00:56:21,911 --> 00:56:23,980
- It's just incredible.
1338
00:56:23,980 --> 00:56:26,883
- [Sparks] As a matter of
fact, I feel very comfortable.
1339
00:56:26,883 --> 00:56:28,551
- [Viewers] Nobody asked.
1340
00:56:28,551 --> 00:56:32,122
(triumphant music)
1341
00:56:32,122 --> 00:56:34,224
- [GPC] Hey, what would
you call an almost perfect
1342
00:56:34,224 --> 00:56:36,292
rip off of the USS Enterprise?
1343
00:56:36,292 --> 00:56:37,861
- [Tom] The USS Compromise.
1344
00:56:37,861 --> 00:56:40,196
- Hey.
(Crow laughs)
1345
00:56:40,196 --> 00:56:43,700
- [Sparks] No deviation from
set flight path, path, path,
1346
00:56:43,700 --> 00:56:47,604
path, path, path, path,
path, path, path, path, path,
1347
00:56:47,604 --> 00:56:50,874
path, path, path, path,
path, path, path, path, path.
1348
00:56:50,874 --> 00:56:52,308
- [GPC] Sick remix, Sparks.
1349
00:56:53,476 --> 00:56:55,412
- Okay, take it easy, Sparks.
1350
00:56:55,412 --> 00:56:57,547
- [GPC] I'll just recalibrate your Diplo.
1351
00:56:58,515 --> 00:57:00,984
- I'll reprogram a better
self-adjusting tape for you
1352
00:57:00,984 --> 00:57:02,419
when we get back to the moon.
1353
00:57:04,521 --> 00:57:06,022
- [GPC] Get a space room, you two.
1354
00:57:06,022 --> 00:57:07,357
- [Crow] Have a great summer.
1355
00:57:07,357 --> 00:57:08,191
Love, Kim.
1356
00:57:08,191 --> 00:57:09,759
Here you go.
1357
00:57:09,759 --> 00:57:12,262
(Sparks sparking)
1358
00:57:12,262 --> 00:57:13,563
- [Sparks] Pattern.
1359
00:57:13,563 --> 00:57:15,165
Thank you.
1360
00:57:15,165 --> 00:57:16,533
- Anytime, Sparks.
1361
00:57:16,533 --> 00:57:17,500
- [Tom] Friends.
1362
00:57:18,501 --> 00:57:20,703
- [GPC] Meanwhile, on
the planet Superball,
1363
00:57:20,703 --> 00:57:22,405
in the Frisbee Cluster.
1364
00:57:23,907 --> 00:57:25,708
- [Crow] They said it's
about a 45 minute wait
1365
00:57:25,708 --> 00:57:27,944
for the table, but they
gave me this buzzer.
1366
00:57:30,013 --> 00:57:31,781
- I hope we have enough parts here.
1367
00:57:32,649 --> 00:57:36,085
It's our last hope to send
a signal out into space.
1368
00:57:36,085 --> 00:57:38,721
- [Tom] Oh no, they found
us in the same place,
1369
00:57:38,721 --> 00:57:40,356
hiding in plain sight!
1370
00:57:41,858 --> 00:57:43,460
- Run away!
- Run away!
1371
00:57:43,460 --> 00:57:47,831
(GPC imitating horse hooves clacking)
1372
00:57:47,831 --> 00:57:50,433
- [Crow] These are the
voyages of the USS (snoring).
1373
00:57:53,536 --> 00:57:56,539
- [Tom] The Blog of Things to Come.
1374
00:57:56,539 --> 00:57:57,740
- [Sparks] Look at this.
1375
00:57:59,342 --> 00:58:01,311
- [GPC] You know, office
chairs and seat belts
1376
00:58:01,311 --> 00:58:04,147
really don't mix.
- Yeah.
1377
00:58:05,081 --> 00:58:06,216
- [Crow] What up, nerd?
1378
00:58:07,550 --> 00:58:08,885
- [Sparks] It's on replay.
1379
00:58:10,053 --> 00:58:11,488
- [Emily] You've invented the screensaver.
1380
00:58:11,488 --> 00:58:12,922
Congrats, Sparks.
1381
00:58:14,891 --> 00:58:15,825
- [Jason] It's unbelievable.
1382
00:58:15,825 --> 00:58:17,627
- [Viewers] Oh! (humming)
1383
00:58:17,627 --> 00:58:20,263
- [Sparks] I detect we are in some danger.
1384
00:58:20,263 --> 00:58:22,665
I suggest a course alteration.
1385
00:58:22,665 --> 00:58:24,300
- [Crow] Pretty buttons.
1386
00:58:24,300 --> 00:58:25,468
- Now what's that?
1387
00:58:25,468 --> 00:58:26,603
- [Sparks] Nothing serious.
1388
00:58:26,603 --> 00:58:29,606
A minor malfunction in the
spectrum drive auto locks.
1389
00:58:29,606 --> 00:58:31,207
- [Tom] It's covered by AppleCare.
1390
00:58:31,207 --> 00:58:32,108
- I'm gonna make a systems check.
1391
00:58:32,108 --> 00:58:33,176
- [Sparks] Not necessary.
1392
00:58:33,176 --> 00:58:34,644
Everything's under control.
1393
00:58:34,644 --> 00:58:37,013
- [GPC] Seriously, step off.
1394
00:58:37,013 --> 00:58:37,847
(dramatic music)
1395
00:58:37,847 --> 00:58:39,616
- [Crow] Pizza cutters in space!
1396
00:58:45,355 --> 00:58:48,224
- [Tom] How to Pretend You're
Not Dying, Chapter One.
1397
00:58:48,224 --> 00:58:49,225
- [Caball] Hi.
1398
00:58:49,225 --> 00:58:50,059
- Hi.
1399
00:58:52,695 --> 00:58:54,163
- [GPC] I notice you're not wearing
1400
00:58:54,163 --> 00:58:56,533
the sweater I got you for Space Christmas.
1401
00:58:56,533 --> 00:58:57,700
- What's that?
1402
00:58:57,700 --> 00:58:58,935
- [GPC] My last will and testament.
1403
00:58:58,935 --> 00:59:01,938
- Well, this is a very old book,
1404
00:59:01,938 --> 00:59:04,841
rescued from the Earth
museum many years ago.
1405
00:59:05,708 --> 00:59:07,043
- Must be very rare.
1406
00:59:07,043 --> 00:59:08,711
- Oh yes, it is, yes.
1407
00:59:08,711 --> 00:59:11,047
Most of them were destroyed, of course.
1408
00:59:11,047 --> 00:59:13,182
Some of them survived
and in memory baffles,
1409
00:59:13,182 --> 00:59:16,553
but that's the real thing.
1410
00:59:16,553 --> 00:59:18,154
- [Tom] Smell that deforestation.
1411
00:59:18,154 --> 00:59:19,589
- What's it about?
1412
00:59:19,589 --> 00:59:21,524
- About, well.
1413
00:59:21,524 --> 00:59:22,358
- [GPC] 200 pages, zing.
1414
00:59:22,358 --> 00:59:25,128
- Well, it's about your people.
1415
00:59:26,362 --> 00:59:28,398
An ancient country called Greece.
1416
00:59:28,398 --> 00:59:29,899
- [Crow] Greece is the word.
1417
00:59:29,899 --> 00:59:32,035
- There were a bunch of philosophers,
1418
00:59:32,035 --> 00:59:34,270
and they, well, they...
1419
00:59:34,270 --> 00:59:35,371
- [GPC] Philosophated?
1420
00:59:35,371 --> 00:59:40,376
- They tried to understand
the nature of the universe.
1421
00:59:41,210 --> 00:59:42,211
- [GPC] Turns out it's 42.
1422
00:59:42,211 --> 00:59:46,783
- Their own imagination, but
what an imagination it was.
1423
00:59:46,783 --> 00:59:48,251
- [Crow] Luscious.
1424
00:59:48,251 --> 00:59:49,285
Curvy.
1425
00:59:49,285 --> 00:59:51,087
- Their vision.
1426
00:59:52,789 --> 00:59:53,790
Their ideas.
1427
00:59:53,790 --> 00:59:55,658
- [Tom] Their yogurt.
1428
00:59:55,658 --> 00:59:57,327
- Never cease to amaze me.
1429
01:00:00,029 --> 01:00:00,897
Pay no attention.
1430
01:00:02,065 --> 01:00:05,602
I'm just a musty old
professor, lecturing to myself.
1431
01:00:05,602 --> 01:00:07,070
- [GPC] You do stink a bit.
1432
01:00:07,070 --> 01:00:08,805
- You're much more than that.
1433
01:00:08,805 --> 01:00:09,973
- Well, you don't have to humor me
1434
01:00:09,973 --> 01:00:11,407
just 'cause I'm an old man, you know.
1435
01:00:11,407 --> 01:00:12,742
- [Crow] Okay then, bye!
1436
01:00:12,742 --> 01:00:14,944
- You're the youngest man I know.
1437
01:00:14,944 --> 01:00:16,746
- [Tom] Well, in this room, anyway.
1438
01:00:18,481 --> 01:00:19,315
- Thank you.
1439
01:00:24,120 --> 01:00:25,121
- [Crow] She's sweet.
1440
01:00:25,121 --> 01:00:27,290
I'll eat her last.
1441
01:00:27,290 --> 01:00:29,325
- [Sparks] I'm getting an
intense gravitational pull
1442
01:00:29,325 --> 01:00:31,327
on my readouts.
- If you know what I mean.
1443
01:00:31,327 --> 01:00:33,997
(Crow laughing)
1444
01:00:39,302 --> 01:00:41,004
- Onboard computer reports proximity
1445
01:00:41,004 --> 01:00:43,606
of an enormous magnetic field.
1446
01:00:43,606 --> 01:00:44,874
- What do you suggest, Sparks?
1447
01:00:44,874 --> 01:00:46,476
- [Tom] Bulk erase some tapes?
1448
01:00:46,476 --> 01:00:47,777
- Counter with equal push.
1449
01:00:47,777 --> 01:00:50,013
We'll have to increase spectrum drive.
1450
01:00:50,013 --> 01:00:51,214
- [GPC] Pushing the thingy-doo.
1451
01:00:51,214 --> 01:00:52,048
- 002.
1452
01:00:53,182 --> 01:00:54,450
- 002.
1453
01:00:54,450 --> 01:00:55,284
- Locked in.
1454
01:00:55,284 --> 01:00:56,519
- I've got 004, Jason.
1455
01:00:56,519 --> 01:00:57,754
- No, 002.
1456
01:00:57,754 --> 01:00:59,355
- [Crow] Oh, let's not fight.
1457
01:00:59,355 --> 01:01:01,524
- We're still increasing.
- It just can't be.
1458
01:01:02,859 --> 01:01:04,961
- [GPC] They're being sucked
into a Spencer's Gifts!
1459
01:01:04,961 --> 01:01:07,296
(viewers gasping)
1460
01:01:07,296 --> 01:01:08,564
- [Crow] Oh, oh no.
1461
01:01:08,564 --> 01:01:10,833
- We're going out of control.
1462
01:01:10,833 --> 01:01:13,102
- [Tom] And the clock radio's going nuts!
1463
01:01:13,102 --> 01:01:13,936
- Sparks?
1464
01:01:14,771 --> 01:01:15,605
The switches are jammed.
1465
01:01:15,605 --> 01:01:16,739
Give me manual override.
1466
01:01:17,707 --> 01:01:20,843
- [GPC] For the record, I
still feel quite comfortable.
1467
01:01:20,843 --> 01:01:22,478
- [Sparks] Negative, it won't release.
1468
01:01:22,478 --> 01:01:24,147
- What do you mean, negative?
1469
01:01:24,147 --> 01:01:25,715
- [Crow] Google it, flesh bag!
1470
01:01:25,715 --> 01:01:27,383
- I can't bring the speed down.
1471
01:01:27,383 --> 01:01:29,152
Spectrum drive, we're locked into it.
1472
01:01:29,152 --> 01:01:31,387
- [Tom] Anyone need some philosophy?
1473
01:01:32,388 --> 01:01:34,991
- [Sparks] Closing
rapidly on magnetic field.
1474
01:01:34,991 --> 01:01:36,159
- We're gonna break up.
1475
01:01:36,159 --> 01:01:37,560
- [Crow] Oh...
1476
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:40,029
- [GPC] Oh, better get
back in barfin' chair.
1477
01:01:45,068 --> 01:01:48,671
♪ There's no earthly way of knowing ♪
1478
01:01:48,671 --> 01:01:52,942
♪ Which direction we are going ♪
1479
01:01:52,942 --> 01:01:56,345
- [Crow] No, somebody activate
the Steadicam, please.
1480
01:01:58,648 --> 01:02:00,316
- [GPC] I think this is what it looks like
1481
01:02:00,316 --> 01:02:02,285
to be inside of Seth Rogen.
1482
01:02:06,322 --> 01:02:09,625
- [Tom] I should have taken
audition at "Knott's Landing."
1483
01:02:09,625 --> 01:02:12,228
- [GPC] Oops, the effects
budget is burning out.
1484
01:02:14,497 --> 01:02:17,066
(GPC groaning)
1485
01:02:23,639 --> 01:02:26,375
- [Crow] Will you go out with me?
1486
01:02:27,910 --> 01:02:31,147
- [Tom] I only like you as as a friend.
1487
01:02:34,050 --> 01:02:35,818
- [Crow] Okay.
1488
01:02:35,818 --> 01:02:38,821
Can we still hang out?
1489
01:02:40,957 --> 01:02:45,361
- [Tom] Actually, I'm gonna
be real busy for a while.
1490
01:02:47,196 --> 01:02:49,565
I'll call you though, okay?
1491
01:02:51,300 --> 01:02:54,203
- [Emily] All right, quick
pull out every drug reference
1492
01:02:54,203 --> 01:02:55,605
you've ever learned.
1493
01:02:55,605 --> 01:02:56,639
- [Crow] Joke 'em if ya got 'em.
1494
01:02:56,639 --> 01:02:58,674
- [Tom] I can taste every
color I've ever seen.
1495
01:02:58,674 --> 01:03:01,778
- [GPC] Why did I eat so
much Dollar Store sushi?
1496
01:03:02,745 --> 01:03:07,350
- [Crow] They've flown into a vape shop.
1497
01:03:07,350 --> 01:03:10,353
- [Tom] Kim's pulling those
chunky fat cotton rips.
1498
01:03:13,589 --> 01:03:16,058
- [GPC] Jason's really
cranked down on the ohms.
1499
01:03:18,161 --> 01:03:21,264
- [Crow] Bro, Sparks mixes his own juice!
1500
01:03:21,264 --> 01:03:24,100
- [Tom] Caball blows that dragon's breath.
1501
01:03:27,370 --> 01:03:30,273
- [GPC] Oh, now I want
cotton candy for some reason.
1502
01:03:30,273 --> 01:03:32,775
- [Crow] The ship cannot take
much more to this, cap'n.
1503
01:03:32,775 --> 01:03:35,978
She's, oh, nevermind.
1504
01:03:37,847 --> 01:03:39,348
- What the hell was that all about?
1505
01:03:39,348 --> 01:03:40,183
- [Tom] Seconded.
1506
01:03:40,183 --> 01:03:42,718
- [Sparks] I believe we have
been through time dilation.
1507
01:03:42,718 --> 01:03:44,020
- [Crow] First one's free.
1508
01:03:45,354 --> 01:03:46,155
- Kim.
1509
01:03:48,524 --> 01:03:51,060
Kim?
- Please don't be old.
1510
01:03:51,060 --> 01:03:52,895
- Kim.
- What...
1511
01:03:52,895 --> 01:03:54,397
Was I time dilating?
1512
01:03:57,033 --> 01:03:57,900
- We rode it out.
1513
01:03:58,734 --> 01:03:59,902
We're still in one piece.
1514
01:03:59,902 --> 01:04:02,271
- [GPC] We killed two
minutes of screen time, too.
1515
01:04:02,271 --> 01:04:05,107
- [Sparks] Correct pulse 0.004.
1516
01:04:06,309 --> 01:04:08,144
Decrease thruster level.
1517
01:04:08,144 --> 01:04:09,478
- [Viewers] Ooh!
1518
01:04:11,080 --> 01:04:13,082
- Drive control now reading normal.
1519
01:04:13,082 --> 01:04:15,551
- [Sparks] Switching off force field.
1520
01:04:15,551 --> 01:04:17,787
- [Tom] The Shape of Things to Push!
1521
01:04:17,787 --> 01:04:19,755
- [Sparks] Pulse generator deactivated.
1522
01:04:22,859 --> 01:04:23,793
- Jason, look.
1523
01:04:25,895 --> 01:04:28,497
- [Crow] Cake-Poppolis,
the frosting planet.
1524
01:04:30,032 --> 01:04:33,169
- [Emily] Sounds like the
Ren Fest is in full swing.
1525
01:04:33,169 --> 01:04:35,338
- [Kim] Sparks, can we have
an update on our coordinates?
1526
01:04:35,338 --> 01:04:36,239
- [Tom] Nope, next question.
1527
01:04:36,239 --> 01:04:39,141
- [Sparks] Within the
gravitational pull of Delta 3,
1528
01:04:39,141 --> 01:04:41,110
but our excessive speed has used up
1529
01:04:41,110 --> 01:04:43,279
most of our nuclear power.
1530
01:04:43,279 --> 01:04:44,714
- How bad is it, Sparks?
1531
01:04:44,714 --> 01:04:47,216
- [Sparks] We'll be lucky just
to limp into orbit, Doctor.
1532
01:04:47,216 --> 01:04:49,452
- [Crow] Well, I need a hospital.
1533
01:04:49,452 --> 01:04:51,687
- [Sparks] Hold on, I
have a monitor sighting.
1534
01:04:51,687 --> 01:04:52,922
- [GPC] He's playing Galaga.
1535
01:04:52,922 --> 01:04:54,357
- [Sparks] Delta 3 cargo ship.
1536
01:04:54,357 --> 01:04:55,992
The same as Phobos 4.
1537
01:04:55,992 --> 01:04:59,428
Robot pilot aboard, full
explosive mode in the hold.
1538
01:04:59,428 --> 01:05:00,263
- [Tom] Give it some Immodium?
1539
01:05:00,263 --> 01:05:02,398
- [Caball] No doubt on
another collision course
1540
01:05:02,398 --> 01:05:03,432
with New Washington.
1541
01:05:04,734 --> 01:05:07,470
- We don't have the power now
to catch up and destroy it.
1542
01:05:07,470 --> 01:05:08,571
We could try and fire a missile.
1543
01:05:08,571 --> 01:05:11,173
- No, no, we haven't got
the maneuverability, Jason.
1544
01:05:12,375 --> 01:05:14,810
- Even if we could get
close, our armament system
1545
01:05:14,810 --> 01:05:16,178
hasn't been tested.
1546
01:05:16,178 --> 01:05:18,114
- [GPC] And our testament
system hasn't been armed.
1547
01:05:18,114 --> 01:05:20,416
- It means more destruction
to New Washington,
1548
01:05:21,517 --> 01:05:23,486
and we just have to
stand by and do nothing.
1549
01:05:23,486 --> 01:05:24,320
- [Tom] Typical.
1550
01:05:24,320 --> 01:05:26,722
- I'm picking up radio
signals from Delta 3.
1551
01:05:26,722 --> 01:05:28,624
- [GPC] Delta Dawn, what's
that flower you have on?
1552
01:05:28,624 --> 01:05:30,426
- Can you get a fix on that, Sparks?
1553
01:05:30,426 --> 01:05:33,796
- [Crow] Saying "please"
goes a long way, you know.
1554
01:05:33,796 --> 01:05:35,831
- [Sparks] I have the exact coordinates.
1555
01:05:35,831 --> 01:05:38,334
- All right, then, we're going down.
1556
01:05:38,334 --> 01:05:39,168
Prepare to disengage.
1557
01:05:39,168 --> 01:05:41,103
- [Tom] I'm way ahead of you, buddy.
1558
01:05:41,103 --> 01:05:42,471
(tense music)
1559
01:05:42,471 --> 01:05:43,706
♪ Sitting sideways ♪
1560
01:05:43,706 --> 01:05:45,007
♪ Boys in a daze ♪
1561
01:05:45,007 --> 01:05:46,275
♪ Sitting sideways ♪
1562
01:05:46,275 --> 01:05:48,244
♪ Ship's in a haze ♪
1563
01:05:48,244 --> 01:05:50,212
- [Crow] Hey, my pizza's here.
1564
01:05:52,882 --> 01:05:54,717
- [Tom] He looks so menacing in mustard.
1565
01:05:54,717 --> 01:05:55,584
- [Crow] Mm-hmm.
1566
01:05:55,584 --> 01:05:57,453
- Well, well, what do we have here?
1567
01:05:58,654 --> 01:06:01,390
An expedition to our fair planet.
1568
01:06:01,390 --> 01:06:04,627
- [Crow] Prepare the air mattresses.
1569
01:06:04,627 --> 01:06:06,028
- Niki, look!
- I'm a Niki!
1570
01:06:09,565 --> 01:06:10,933
- [Tom] ant some hot goss?
1571
01:06:10,933 --> 01:06:12,501
- Seems to me we ought to send out
1572
01:06:12,501 --> 01:06:14,403
a little reception committee.
1573
01:06:16,072 --> 01:06:17,974
- [GPC] Oh, hello, we brought hotdish.
1574
01:06:19,308 --> 01:06:22,278
- [Crow] Eenie, meenie, miney, die!
1575
01:06:22,278 --> 01:06:25,181
- Discharge the robot electro force.
1576
01:06:28,484 --> 01:06:30,720
- [Tom] A-five, six, seven, eight.
1577
01:06:30,720 --> 01:06:34,957
♪ The Jets are gonna
have their way tonight ♪
1578
01:06:34,957 --> 01:06:36,292
You're all doing great, keep it up.
1579
01:06:39,996 --> 01:06:41,764
- [GPC] Oh, it's a mandated break.
1580
01:06:41,764 --> 01:06:43,799
These robots have a great union.
1581
01:06:43,799 --> 01:06:44,633
- [Tom] Oh.
1582
01:06:47,803 --> 01:06:50,373
- [GPC] Visit scenic Mount Palance.
1583
01:06:52,308 --> 01:06:54,076
- [Omus] Emperor of Delta 3.
1584
01:06:54,076 --> 01:06:56,512
- [Tom] Owner of four Applebees.
1585
01:06:56,512 --> 01:06:59,181
- My dear Dr. Caball.
1586
01:06:59,181 --> 01:07:00,516
How marvelous to see you.
1587
01:07:00,516 --> 01:07:02,084
- [Crow] You say hi to your mother for me.
1588
01:07:02,084 --> 01:07:03,919
- I wanna talk to you, Omus.
1589
01:07:03,919 --> 01:07:07,623
In person, not just to a disembodied face.
1590
01:07:07,623 --> 01:07:08,624
- [GPC] Or back.
1591
01:07:08,624 --> 01:07:12,395
- However impressive your
holographic invention.
1592
01:07:12,395 --> 01:07:13,396
- Ah, Doctor.
1593
01:07:14,363 --> 01:07:17,600
I have many impressive things
to show you in my citadel.
1594
01:07:17,600 --> 01:07:18,968
- Like this Sit 'n Spin.
1595
01:07:18,968 --> 01:07:20,302
- Let's get on with it.
1596
01:07:20,302 --> 01:07:21,904
How do I get to the Citadel?
1597
01:07:21,904 --> 01:07:22,872
- [Viewers] Practice!
1598
01:07:22,872 --> 01:07:24,774
- It's nearby.
1599
01:07:24,774 --> 01:07:26,609
My guard robot will bring you.
1600
01:07:27,543 --> 01:07:29,845
- John, this could be dangerous.
1601
01:07:29,845 --> 01:07:31,580
- I'm aware of that, Niki.
1602
01:07:31,580 --> 01:07:33,516
- Father, please, don't try it alone.
1603
01:07:33,516 --> 01:07:34,750
- [Kim] It's too risky.
1604
01:07:34,750 --> 01:07:36,252
- [Emily] Form a subcommittee first.
1605
01:07:36,252 --> 01:07:38,687
- [Caball] If anyone can
get to him, maybe I can.
1606
01:07:41,757 --> 01:07:43,959
- [Tom] Okay, which one
of you porta-potties
1607
01:07:43,959 --> 01:07:46,495
is giving me a piggyback
ride to the citadel?
1608
01:07:48,230 --> 01:07:52,001
(doors whirring and banging)
1609
01:07:58,541 --> 01:08:00,943
- So how does Sparks play the keyboard
1610
01:08:00,943 --> 01:08:02,211
with those weird arms?
1611
01:08:02,211 --> 01:08:04,914
I mean he's put out like 25 albums.
1612
01:08:04,914 --> 01:08:06,248
- All righty, guys.
1613
01:08:06,248 --> 01:08:08,184
- Ready to get reprogrammed to love?
1614
01:08:08,184 --> 01:08:09,652
- Love?
1615
01:08:09,652 --> 01:08:10,486
Who needs it?
1616
01:08:10,486 --> 01:08:12,721
Give me power.
1617
01:08:12,721 --> 01:08:14,723
- Actually, Crow, love is powerful,
1618
01:08:14,723 --> 01:08:17,093
but its power is a curious thing.
1619
01:08:17,093 --> 01:08:19,361
It can make one man weep,
but another man sing.
1620
01:08:19,361 --> 01:08:21,497
- That's the power of love?
- That's the power of love.
1621
01:08:21,497 --> 01:08:24,366
- But it's not really
love if you program us
1622
01:08:24,366 --> 01:08:25,201
to feel it, right?
1623
01:08:25,201 --> 01:08:27,803
Doesn't true love need free will?
1624
01:08:27,803 --> 01:08:30,773
- Honestly, love is kind of
the opposite of free will.
1625
01:08:30,773 --> 01:08:32,274
When you're in love, you find yourself
1626
01:08:32,274 --> 01:08:33,976
doing things you really don't wanna do,
1627
01:08:33,976 --> 01:08:37,880
like moving to Galveston or
thinking you're into ska music.
1628
01:08:37,880 --> 01:08:39,014
- Ska music?
1629
01:08:39,014 --> 01:08:40,082
Well, I'm sold.
1630
01:08:40,082 --> 01:08:40,916
Hook me up!
1631
01:08:40,916 --> 01:08:41,917
- No dice.
1632
01:08:41,917 --> 01:08:45,554
I mean, what is love, really, anyway?
1633
01:08:45,554 --> 01:08:48,290
- Well, it's kind of a
feeling that makes you
1634
01:08:48,290 --> 01:08:51,727
feel good in a way that also feels bad,
1635
01:08:51,727 --> 01:08:53,429
and sometimes the other way around.
1636
01:08:53,429 --> 01:08:55,564
- I always thought love was a disease
1637
01:08:55,564 --> 01:08:57,133
spread by microscopic flying babies.
1638
01:08:57,133 --> 01:08:59,301
- Nope, nope, nope, you're both wrong.
1639
01:08:59,301 --> 01:09:02,671
Love's just software
nature installed in humans
1640
01:09:02,671 --> 01:09:05,508
to keep you from eating your own children.
1641
01:09:05,508 --> 01:09:06,342
- Hmm.
1642
01:09:06,342 --> 01:09:09,278
- But it can also make you
wanna be nice to people.
1643
01:09:09,278 --> 01:09:10,813
- Nice to people?
1644
01:09:10,813 --> 01:09:11,680
Hard pass.
1645
01:09:11,680 --> 01:09:14,783
- But Crow, think of the beauty of love.
1646
01:09:14,783 --> 01:09:17,453
Even in this dumb as coal movie.
1647
01:09:17,453 --> 01:09:19,955
I mean, Niki's love of noisy footwear,
1648
01:09:19,955 --> 01:09:22,158
and Omus's love for pregnant pauses,
1649
01:09:22,158 --> 01:09:24,693
and Sparks's poetic love for Kim.
1650
01:09:24,693 --> 01:09:25,761
I mean, come on.
1651
01:09:25,761 --> 01:09:29,231
He even stuck by stupid, stupid Jason.
1652
01:09:29,231 --> 01:09:30,132
- Wait a minute.
1653
01:09:30,132 --> 01:09:34,703
If you adjust me, will I
start loving these movies?
1654
01:09:34,703 --> 01:09:35,538
- Maybe.
1655
01:09:35,538 --> 01:09:37,806
I mean, this movie's kind of adorable,
1656
01:09:37,806 --> 01:09:41,110
in a factory reject
beanie baby kind of way.
1657
01:09:41,110 --> 01:09:43,078
Maybe all it needs is a little love.
1658
01:09:43,078 --> 01:09:45,281
- And love will make the movie better?
1659
01:09:45,281 --> 01:09:47,216
- No, it'll still be bad.
1660
01:09:47,216 --> 01:09:49,251
You just won't be able to
tell the difference anymore.
1661
01:09:49,251 --> 01:09:52,254
- So love makes you kind of stupid.
1662
01:09:53,689 --> 01:09:56,992
- As much as I regret
moving to Galveston now,
1663
01:09:56,992 --> 01:09:59,962
Jesse's ska band was pretty good.
1664
01:09:59,962 --> 01:10:01,163
- Okay, I'm in!
1665
01:10:01,163 --> 01:10:03,399
I wanna be too dumb to
know when things are bad.
1666
01:10:03,399 --> 01:10:04,633
- Yeah, me too.
1667
01:10:04,633 --> 01:10:06,569
- Actually, you kind of talked me
1668
01:10:06,569 --> 01:10:07,903
outta the whole idea of love.
1669
01:10:07,903 --> 01:10:09,471
- Oh, no no no, come on!
1670
01:10:09,471 --> 01:10:11,106
Dumb us down with love!
(alarm blaring)
1671
01:10:11,106 --> 01:10:11,941
- Oh!
1672
01:10:11,941 --> 01:10:13,442
We got movie sign!
1673
01:10:14,910 --> 01:10:18,647
(doors whirring and banging)
1674
01:10:23,619 --> 01:10:26,655
(solemn music)
1675
01:10:26,655 --> 01:10:30,659
- [Crow] Well, that's one
sharp looking citadel.
1676
01:10:31,660 --> 01:10:33,762
- [Emily] And I sure as
heck never went to Tijuana
1677
01:10:33,762 --> 01:10:36,432
with Martin Landau again,
I'll tell you what.
1678
01:10:36,432 --> 01:10:38,200
So anyways, is this the green room?
1679
01:10:40,169 --> 01:10:41,737
- [Tom] Power stance.
1680
01:10:41,737 --> 01:10:42,871
- [Omus] Dr. Caball.
1681
01:10:44,640 --> 01:10:48,744
(crow imitating chair squeaking)
1682
01:10:51,380 --> 01:10:54,583
- [Tom] It's a stalemate in
the battle of the pauses.
1683
01:10:55,584 --> 01:10:57,653
- [Crow] Invisible beer?
1684
01:10:57,653 --> 01:10:59,755
More for me, then.
1685
01:10:59,755 --> 01:11:01,724
- My old mentor.
1686
01:11:01,724 --> 01:11:02,558
- [Emily] Old?
1687
01:11:02,558 --> 01:11:03,626
We're the same age.
1688
01:11:03,626 --> 01:11:05,394
- Considering our past relationship, Omus,
1689
01:11:05,394 --> 01:11:08,497
I think you owe me some
sort of explanation.
1690
01:11:08,497 --> 01:11:10,666
- Wait until you see
what I've accomplished.
1691
01:11:10,666 --> 01:11:12,001
- [Tom] On Candy Crush.
1692
01:11:12,001 --> 01:11:12,968
- It's astonishing.
1693
01:11:14,536 --> 01:11:15,604
Come here, Doctor.
1694
01:11:15,604 --> 01:11:16,972
- [Crow] Check the cape.
1695
01:11:16,972 --> 01:11:18,540
Jealous much?
1696
01:11:19,875 --> 01:11:21,210
- Come.
1697
01:11:21,210 --> 01:11:23,646
(Tom grunts)
1698
01:11:25,247 --> 01:11:27,983
- [Tom] We've switched
Omus with Folgers crystals.
1699
01:11:27,983 --> 01:11:29,818
Let's see if Caball notices.
1700
01:11:32,221 --> 01:11:34,323
- [Crow] Hello, caller one, you're live
1701
01:11:34,323 --> 01:11:37,526
with Omus in the Dink!
1702
01:11:37,526 --> 01:11:39,995
- [Omus] This is a RADIC-Q-2 factory.
1703
01:11:44,333 --> 01:11:47,069
- [Tom] Not the best Ted Talk ever.
1704
01:11:47,069 --> 01:11:48,037
- [Omus] My empire.
1705
01:11:50,439 --> 01:11:52,641
With a network of underground tunnels.
1706
01:11:52,641 --> 01:11:55,511
- [Crow] The custodian
comes down here to smoke.
1707
01:11:57,579 --> 01:12:00,482
- My mechanical warriors, mining robots
1708
01:12:01,617 --> 01:12:03,952
turned into obedient soldiers.
1709
01:12:03,952 --> 01:12:05,254
- [Emily] Are you writing this down.
1710
01:12:05,254 --> 01:12:08,324
- With a new circuitry to
handle more sophisticated input.
1711
01:12:08,324 --> 01:12:11,093
- [Tom] Like McSweeneys.
1712
01:12:11,093 --> 01:12:15,664
- And a capacity for independent thought.
1713
01:12:15,664 --> 01:12:19,134
- But totally loyal to you, no doubt.
1714
01:12:19,134 --> 01:12:20,936
- [ Crow] You silly muffin.
1715
01:12:22,304 --> 01:12:27,309
- You spoke to us of a new
technology of peace, not war.
1716
01:12:27,609 --> 01:12:29,078
- [Emily] Of weace, not pour.
1717
01:12:30,145 --> 01:12:32,147
- Don't you understand?
1718
01:12:32,147 --> 01:12:37,152
- [Tom] The one that you love
loves you in so many ways.
1719
01:12:37,252 --> 01:12:39,521
- Once you accept me as ruler,
1720
01:12:39,521 --> 01:12:42,624
there will be no acts of
aggression, only peace.
1721
01:12:42,624 --> 01:12:45,828
Under my rule, the people
will want for nothing.
1722
01:12:45,828 --> 01:12:47,763
- Except freedom.
- And free HBO.
1723
01:12:47,763 --> 01:12:51,200
- The moon colony will
never accept a dictator.
1724
01:12:51,200 --> 01:12:52,501
That's one thing at least we've learned
1725
01:12:52,501 --> 01:12:54,870
from the history of the planet Earth.
1726
01:12:54,870 --> 01:12:56,372
- You insult me, Doctor.
1727
01:12:56,372 --> 01:12:58,374
- [Emily] Your mimosa will have a bottom.
1728
01:12:58,374 --> 01:13:00,075
- You are the one who inspired me,
1729
01:13:00,075 --> 01:13:01,844
taught me to place science above all else.
1730
01:13:01,844 --> 01:13:04,113
- But never above humanity!
1731
01:13:04,113 --> 01:13:07,783
If I didn't teach you that,
then I failed you miserably.
1732
01:13:07,783 --> 01:13:09,451
- [Crow] Oh, the pain!
1733
01:13:09,451 --> 01:13:12,321
- Give up this insane plan of yours.
1734
01:13:12,321 --> 01:13:16,125
- But I am Omus, Emperor of Delta 3.
1735
01:13:16,992 --> 01:13:17,893
I don't want to hear anymore!
1736
01:13:17,893 --> 01:13:19,695
- [Tom] I'll be in my trailer!
1737
01:13:20,629 --> 01:13:21,530
- I don't think I even know you.
1738
01:13:21,530 --> 01:13:23,899
You're some sentimental old fool
1739
01:13:23,899 --> 01:13:25,801
who doesn't understand anything.
1740
01:13:25,801 --> 01:13:29,138
I, I am the world of the future.
1741
01:13:29,138 --> 01:13:31,373
You're back in some dark past.
1742
01:13:31,373 --> 01:13:33,175
(bots chuckling)
1743
01:13:33,175 --> 01:13:36,712
Even I someday may no longer be necessary.
1744
01:13:36,712 --> 01:13:37,546
And you...
1745
01:13:38,914 --> 01:13:39,982
Dr. Caball.
1746
01:13:39,982 --> 01:13:43,819
- [Crow] Can believe it or not.
1747
01:13:43,819 --> 01:13:46,588
- Are certainly no longer necessary.
1748
01:13:46,588 --> 01:13:48,323
- Omus, you're a sick man!
1749
01:13:48,323 --> 01:13:51,593
Let me help you!
- I'm making smoothies.
1750
01:13:51,593 --> 01:13:54,296
- Let me help you.
- I'm making smoothies.
1751
01:13:54,296 --> 01:13:56,765
- Let me-
- Entertain you.
1752
01:13:56,765 --> 01:14:01,770
- Give you your last lesson
on the power of science.
1753
01:14:02,438 --> 01:14:04,239
- [Emily] Oh, please be fast forwarding.
1754
01:14:04,239 --> 01:14:07,876
(device whirring)
1755
01:14:07,876 --> 01:14:09,678
- [Crow] I'm a little teapot.
1756
01:14:12,014 --> 01:14:14,650
- [Tom] Oh no, the Crown Roast of Doom.
1757
01:14:14,650 --> 01:14:17,252
It's making me do the pee pee dance!
1758
01:14:19,555 --> 01:14:20,389
- Drop the beat!
1759
01:14:20,389 --> 01:14:21,223
Drop the beat!
1760
01:14:21,223 --> 01:14:23,659
For the love of god, please drop the beat!
1761
01:14:23,659 --> 01:14:28,363
(Dr. Caball shouting)
(machine whirring)
1762
01:14:28,363 --> 01:14:31,200
- [Crow] I've locked in freshness.
1763
01:14:32,634 --> 01:14:34,036
- [Emily] You know, I do the same thing
1764
01:14:34,036 --> 01:14:36,705
when I can't get "Baby
Shark" out of my head either.
1765
01:14:39,174 --> 01:14:41,276
- [Tom] You're so undignified.
1766
01:14:43,345 --> 01:14:45,314
- [Crow] These are special stairs.
1767
01:14:45,314 --> 01:14:47,549
They go up and down.
1768
01:14:50,552 --> 01:14:52,754
- Where's your humanism now, Doctor?
1769
01:14:52,754 --> 01:14:54,356
- [Emily] You're standing in it.
1770
01:14:54,356 --> 01:14:55,891
- [Sparks] Dr. Caball.
1771
01:14:55,891 --> 01:14:58,694
I'm not getting any of your vital signs.
1772
01:14:58,694 --> 01:15:00,629
Dr. Caball, do you read me?
1773
01:15:00,629 --> 01:15:02,764
- [Tom] Can you hear me, Major Tom?
1774
01:15:02,764 --> 01:15:04,700
Can you hear me, Major Tom?
1775
01:15:06,301 --> 01:15:09,104
- D3R765.
1776
01:15:09,104 --> 01:15:11,106
- [Emily] He just swear in hex?
1777
01:15:11,106 --> 01:15:14,409
- [Omus] This is not Dr. Caball.
1778
01:15:14,409 --> 01:15:15,744
This is Omus.
1779
01:15:15,744 --> 01:15:17,746
- [Crow] Ay yi yi yi yi!
1780
01:15:21,884 --> 01:15:23,652
- [Tom] Dakota said the after party
1781
01:15:23,652 --> 01:15:25,220
was supposed to be on this floor.
1782
01:15:25,220 --> 01:15:26,455
- Where is everyone?
1783
01:15:31,093 --> 01:15:33,629
- [Kim] It's Omus, and he's alone.
1784
01:15:33,629 --> 01:15:35,330
- He's a alomus.
- Go ahead.
1785
01:15:37,566 --> 01:15:38,567
- [Tom] Hello, Sharks.
1786
01:15:38,567 --> 01:15:41,603
We're Jason, Niki, and
Kim, and our revolutionary
1787
01:15:41,603 --> 01:15:45,240
new breathing jumpsuit is the
Shapewear of Things to Come.
1788
01:15:47,409 --> 01:15:48,644
- [Jason] Omus.
1789
01:15:50,412 --> 01:15:52,247
- [Crow] Well, I've tried everything.
1790
01:15:53,749 --> 01:15:54,583
- [Emily] Go.
1791
01:15:54,583 --> 01:15:55,551
Be big boy, Jason.
1792
01:15:56,618 --> 01:15:58,587
- Omus.
- You want some hummus?
1793
01:16:00,088 --> 01:16:01,323
- Omus, where is my father?
1794
01:16:01,323 --> 01:16:04,927
- [Crow] Ugh, this movie
really hates chess players.
1795
01:16:04,927 --> 01:16:05,761
- [Niki] John!
1796
01:16:05,761 --> 01:16:06,828
- [Emily] His glasses!
1797
01:16:06,828 --> 01:16:10,399
He can't see without his glasses!
1798
01:16:10,399 --> 01:16:12,734
- He was wrong, I knew
he was too dangerous.
1799
01:16:12,734 --> 01:16:14,603
- He knew the danger, Jason.
1800
01:16:14,603 --> 01:16:16,171
- [Tom] He am the danger.
1801
01:16:18,040 --> 01:16:19,041
- Get that cloak off him.
1802
01:16:19,041 --> 01:16:20,342
- [Crow] Hey, it's a cape.
1803
01:16:20,342 --> 01:16:21,977
Show it some respect.
1804
01:16:21,977 --> 01:16:22,811
- Be careful.
1805
01:16:26,148 --> 01:16:27,616
Over there.
1806
01:16:27,616 --> 01:16:30,452
- [Tom] Susan Anton, David
Soul, and Cathy Lee Crosby
1807
01:16:30,452 --> 01:16:34,623
in "Weekend at Bernie's 6:
The Legend of Gurly's Gold."
1808
01:16:36,425 --> 01:16:38,994
- [Emily] Hawaiian Punch, not even once.
1809
01:16:38,994 --> 01:16:41,330
- It's a severe radiation burn.
1810
01:16:43,031 --> 01:16:44,333
He was dying.
1811
01:16:44,333 --> 01:16:45,667
- [Crow] Like, a lot?
1812
01:16:48,604 --> 01:16:50,872
- [Tom] And he drank all the margaritas!
1813
01:16:50,872 --> 01:16:54,476
- But that isn't what killed him.
1814
01:16:54,476 --> 01:16:56,345
It was Omus.
1815
01:16:56,345 --> 01:16:57,613
- You sure?
1816
01:16:57,613 --> 01:16:58,947
- Yes.
1817
01:16:58,947 --> 01:17:01,049
- [Emily] Oh, man, I thought
it was Professor Plum
1818
01:17:01,049 --> 01:17:02,517
in the kitchen with the candlestick!
1819
01:17:02,517 --> 01:17:03,785
I'm so bad at this game.
1820
01:17:07,289 --> 01:17:08,423
- Sparks?
1821
01:17:08,423 --> 01:17:09,691
- [Crow] Sparks not here, man.
1822
01:17:09,691 --> 01:17:10,525
- [Jason] Sparks, do you read me?
1823
01:17:10,525 --> 01:17:11,693
- [Kim] Let me try.
1824
01:17:11,693 --> 01:17:12,628
Sparks, this is Kim.
1825
01:17:12,628 --> 01:17:14,563
Do you read me?
- Crickets.
1826
01:17:16,431 --> 01:17:18,000
- What's he doing?
1827
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:18,834
The module's moving.
1828
01:17:18,834 --> 01:17:20,235
What's he doing?
1829
01:17:20,235 --> 01:17:21,169
- Sparks.
1830
01:17:21,169 --> 01:17:23,839
Sparks, please, don't you remember?
1831
01:17:24,706 --> 01:17:26,575
- Omus could be anywhere.
1832
01:17:26,575 --> 01:17:29,511
In the tunnels, the oil
refineries, the old staff quarters.
1833
01:17:29,511 --> 01:17:32,714
♪ White with foam ♪
1834
01:17:32,714 --> 01:17:33,582
Okay, come on.
1835
01:17:34,816 --> 01:17:36,718
- [Tom] Fine, I'll get the check.
1836
01:17:36,718 --> 01:17:37,786
22%.
1837
01:17:37,786 --> 01:17:40,288
(tense music)
1838
01:17:41,323 --> 01:17:44,192
- [Crow] Is that soft tile or hard carpet?
1839
01:17:51,700 --> 01:17:54,936
- [Emily] I was the governor, you know.
1840
01:17:56,338 --> 01:17:57,839
- [Tom] HG Welles Con's a little
1841
01:17:57,839 --> 01:17:59,508
sparsely attended this year.
1842
01:18:02,444 --> 01:18:03,545
- [Crow] Mommy, watch me.
1843
01:18:03,545 --> 01:18:04,713
Oh.
1844
01:18:04,713 --> 01:18:06,982
- [Emily] Are you ready to rock?
1845
01:18:06,982 --> 01:18:08,283
Control-alt-delete.
1846
01:18:09,518 --> 01:18:11,720
Control-alt-delete.
1847
01:18:11,720 --> 01:18:13,855
Control-alt-delete.
1848
01:18:13,855 --> 01:18:15,057
Control-alt-delete.
1849
01:18:19,127 --> 01:18:19,961
- [Tom] Blue Steel!
1850
01:18:19,961 --> 01:18:21,530
- [Omus] Don't waste your energies.
1851
01:18:21,530 --> 01:18:22,597
- Omus.
1852
01:18:22,597 --> 01:18:23,598
- [Omus] Yes.
1853
01:18:23,598 --> 01:18:25,067
- [Crow] That glass is Omus full.
1854
01:18:26,368 --> 01:18:28,036
- You're the son of John Caball.
1855
01:18:28,036 --> 01:18:30,372
- [Tom] Now it's Omus empty.
1856
01:18:32,074 --> 01:18:34,276
- [Emily] Ah, my tacquitos are ready.
1857
01:18:34,276 --> 01:18:35,277
- Starstreak module.
1858
01:18:37,512 --> 01:18:39,448
It will arrive at the
citadel any moment now.
1859
01:18:39,448 --> 01:18:41,283
- [Crow] Then the slumber party begins.
1860
01:18:41,283 --> 01:18:43,051
- What do you want with Starstreak?
1861
01:18:44,086 --> 01:18:46,521
- It'll become my new flagship.
1862
01:18:46,521 --> 01:18:48,290
I'm saying a last farewell to this place,
1863
01:18:48,290 --> 01:18:52,027
and to you and your friends,
except of course, Sparks,
1864
01:18:52,027 --> 01:18:53,829
who's now working for me.
1865
01:18:53,829 --> 01:18:55,831
- [Tom] Thanks to my 401k matching.
1866
01:18:55,831 --> 01:18:56,932
- You see...
1867
01:18:56,932 --> 01:18:58,800
- [Emily] With my eyes?
1868
01:18:58,800 --> 01:19:00,802
- [Omus] I am going to destroy Delta 3.
1869
01:19:01,703 --> 01:19:02,938
- Why, for what reason?
1870
01:19:02,938 --> 01:19:04,806
- [Crow] For what not reason?
1871
01:19:04,806 --> 01:19:07,976
- Because I am returning to
the moon as spiritual successor
1872
01:19:07,976 --> 01:19:12,981
to the late Dr. Caball, who
unfortunately died heroically,
1873
01:19:13,048 --> 01:19:17,619
along with the rest of you,
in a tragic cosmic accident,
1874
01:19:17,619 --> 01:19:19,755
and there will be no
one to prove me wrong.
1875
01:19:19,755 --> 01:19:22,824
- [Tom] Speaking of cosmic
accident, excuse me!
1876
01:19:23,692 --> 01:19:25,894
- [Emily] And say goodbye to this.
1877
01:19:25,894 --> 01:19:27,863
(alarm ringing)
1878
01:19:27,863 --> 01:19:29,431
- [Crow] Hall pass, please.
1879
01:19:29,431 --> 01:19:30,832
No running.
1880
01:19:30,832 --> 01:19:32,968
- [Tom] I do love my job.
1881
01:19:32,968 --> 01:19:36,371
- When I activate that switch,
it will set into motion
1882
01:19:36,371 --> 01:19:38,840
the most incredible forces.
1883
01:19:38,840 --> 01:19:42,144
What is normally an evolutionary process
1884
01:19:42,144 --> 01:19:43,411
that could take a billion years,
1885
01:19:43,411 --> 01:19:46,248
I can speed up into a matter of minutes.
1886
01:19:46,248 --> 01:19:48,116
- [Crow] Unlike your monologues!
1887
01:19:48,116 --> 01:19:49,985
- You'll destroy the entire planet,
1888
01:19:49,985 --> 01:19:52,554
and our only source of RADIC-Q-2?
1889
01:19:52,554 --> 01:19:53,488
- [Tom] Q know it.
1890
01:19:53,488 --> 01:19:55,657
- Cargo ships are fully loaded.
1891
01:19:55,657 --> 01:19:58,026
They will accompany me
on my mission of peace.
1892
01:19:59,961 --> 01:20:02,330
- [Emily] Hi, this is
Rob, your Uber driver?
1893
01:20:02,330 --> 01:20:03,832
I'm outside.
- Has arrived.
1894
01:20:04,900 --> 01:20:06,635
- [Crow] Did it bring me a present?
1895
01:20:08,136 --> 01:20:09,671
- [Tom] X marks the plot.
1896
01:20:13,975 --> 01:20:15,911
(Niki gasps)
1897
01:20:15,911 --> 01:20:17,412
(tense music)
1898
01:20:17,412 --> 01:20:19,481
- [Emily] John Carpenter's
"The Thin Fog Line."
1899
01:20:19,481 --> 01:20:21,983
- [Crow] I only had two
payments left on them.
1900
01:20:27,989 --> 01:20:29,658
- [Tom] Ah, push it.
1901
01:20:30,525 --> 01:20:31,359
- Omus!
1902
01:20:32,928 --> 01:20:35,831
- [Viewers] He pushed it real good!
1903
01:20:38,667 --> 01:20:41,570
- I must go now.
- My planet needs me.
1904
01:20:41,570 --> 01:20:42,404
- Omus!
1905
01:20:44,906 --> 01:20:45,874
You murderer!
1906
01:20:47,409 --> 01:20:48,743
- [Crow] Oh, right, murder.
1907
01:20:48,743 --> 01:20:49,911
I almost forgot.
1908
01:20:49,911 --> 01:20:52,280
- As big a fool as your father.
1909
01:20:52,280 --> 01:20:56,585
(Tom imitates water glugging)
1910
01:20:56,585 --> 01:20:58,587
- [Crow] This murder goes to 11.
1911
01:21:02,190 --> 01:21:04,259
- [Emily] Oh, we have party sign!
1912
01:21:07,295 --> 01:21:09,364
- [Tom] Moose knuckles in space!
1913
01:21:10,465 --> 01:21:12,767
(device whirring)
1914
01:21:12,767 --> 01:21:15,837
(viewers shouting)
1915
01:21:15,837 --> 01:21:16,671
- Come on, Niki.
1916
01:21:18,206 --> 01:21:20,108
- [Crow] Thank you for a funky time.
1917
01:21:20,108 --> 01:21:21,610
- They're dead.
1918
01:21:21,610 --> 01:21:24,045
- [Emily] They died to death.
1919
01:21:25,680 --> 01:21:26,615
- [Tom] Oh no!
1920
01:21:26,615 --> 01:21:30,385
And Niki and Kim without PVC
pipes and garden weasels!
1921
01:21:31,353 --> 01:21:34,122
(viewers imitating high-pitched ringing)
1922
01:21:34,122 --> 01:21:36,591
- [Sparks] I must reprogram Omus's robots.
1923
01:21:36,591 --> 01:21:39,127
- [Crow] All text is subtext.
1924
01:21:39,127 --> 01:21:40,395
- [Tom] Oh my god.
1925
01:21:40,395 --> 01:21:41,229
- [Crow] What is it?
1926
01:21:41,229 --> 01:21:42,063
My split ends?
1927
01:21:42,063 --> 01:21:44,199
Of all the times for my
conditioner to fail me!
1928
01:21:47,769 --> 01:21:50,372
- [Crow] Peace has cost you strength.
1929
01:21:53,541 --> 01:21:56,711
- [Tom] Was it something I didn't said?
1930
01:21:56,711 --> 01:21:57,545
- Come on!
1931
01:22:00,315 --> 01:22:04,519
- [Emily] These Wrestlemania
plots are getting way too wild.
1932
01:22:04,519 --> 01:22:06,855
- [Omus] Turn it off.
1933
01:22:06,855 --> 01:22:08,490
Turn it off!
1934
01:22:08,490 --> 01:22:11,559
- [Tom] It's tanzanite,
the gemstone of the future.
1935
01:22:14,930 --> 01:22:17,432
- [Crow] Initiating group hug.
1936
01:22:22,203 --> 01:22:23,672
- [Omus] Turn it off!
1937
01:22:23,672 --> 01:22:25,674
- [Emily] Jello mold set to full rotate.
1938
01:22:27,142 --> 01:22:27,976
- Turn it off!
1939
01:22:31,613 --> 01:22:32,948
- [Tom] Yeah, there's
only so long you should
1940
01:22:32,948 --> 01:22:34,916
subject someone to sports talk radio.
1941
01:22:39,554 --> 01:22:42,390
- The activator can't be
stopped, it's too late.
1942
01:22:42,390 --> 01:22:43,224
- How long we got?
1943
01:22:43,224 --> 01:22:46,461
- [Crow] This last scene then
a post-credits blooper reel.
1944
01:22:46,461 --> 01:22:48,029
- About 10 minutes.
1945
01:22:49,331 --> 01:22:51,032
- Jason.
- I'm a Jason.
1946
01:22:52,834 --> 01:22:54,903
- [Tom] Please let go of my crotch.
1947
01:22:54,903 --> 01:22:55,837
- Get the Starstreak.
1948
01:22:55,837 --> 01:22:56,905
The planet's gonna blow up.
1949
01:22:56,905 --> 01:22:58,940
- Merrick and the others are dead.
1950
01:22:58,940 --> 01:23:00,775
- [Viewers] Star Trek shake!
1951
01:23:07,349 --> 01:23:08,984
- This is why you don't
build your fortress
1952
01:23:08,984 --> 01:23:10,352
on a coffee cake.
1953
01:23:11,686 --> 01:23:14,723
- [Tom] Can't catch me,
I'm the gingerbread man.
1954
01:23:17,692 --> 01:23:20,295
- [Crow] Update the old Subsstack.
1955
01:23:20,295 --> 01:23:22,697
- [Sparks] Jason, is everything all right?
1956
01:23:22,697 --> 01:23:25,133
- Sparks, did you reprogram these robots?
1957
01:23:25,133 --> 01:23:27,635
- [Sparks] Let's just say
we speak the same language.
1958
01:23:27,635 --> 01:23:28,703
- Okay, where are you now?
1959
01:23:28,703 --> 01:23:31,473
- [Sparks] Aboard Starstreak,
just outside the citadel.
1960
01:23:32,474 --> 01:23:36,378
- [Emily] Oh, the Caddyshack
gopher's at it again!
1961
01:23:36,378 --> 01:23:38,246
- Sparks Delta, 3 is gonna blow.
1962
01:23:38,246 --> 01:23:39,314
Get to one of the cargo ships.
1963
01:23:39,314 --> 01:23:41,649
We gotta salvage the supply of RADIC-Q-2.
1964
01:23:41,649 --> 01:23:44,719
- [Crow] The floor is lava!
1965
01:23:44,719 --> 01:23:45,920
- This to me?
1966
01:23:45,920 --> 01:23:47,422
I am your creator!
1967
01:23:49,858 --> 01:23:50,992
- [Tom] Oh, what a shame.
1968
01:23:50,992 --> 01:23:53,428
He'll never win the show
stopper challenge now.
1969
01:23:53,428 --> 01:23:54,262
- [Crow] Yeah.
1970
01:23:57,866 --> 01:24:00,268
- [Emily] Oh, careful,
we just waxed the floors.
1971
01:24:02,337 --> 01:24:05,507
- [Crow] All these moments
will be lost in time,
1972
01:24:05,507 --> 01:24:07,275
like tears in rain.
1973
01:24:09,711 --> 01:24:12,147
- [Tom] I wish I paused more.
1974
01:24:15,350 --> 01:24:17,585
- [Emily] Carry me, music.
1975
01:24:17,585 --> 01:24:19,020
- Sparks, you set?
1976
01:24:19,020 --> 01:24:20,321
- [Sparks] All set, Jason.
1977
01:24:20,321 --> 01:24:21,756
Suggest immediate launch.
1978
01:24:21,756 --> 01:24:23,892
- Okay, starting sequence now.
1979
01:24:23,892 --> 01:24:25,860
- [Tom] Don't bogart my buttons, Jason.
1980
01:24:27,629 --> 01:24:28,830
- Come on.
1981
01:24:28,830 --> 01:24:29,931
- [Crow] This is fine.
1982
01:24:34,402 --> 01:24:37,038
- [Tom] Jack, we don't have a
stunt double, but good news,
1983
01:24:37,038 --> 01:24:38,506
you can keep the cape.
1984
01:24:38,506 --> 01:24:41,443
(triumphant music)
1985
01:24:43,478 --> 01:24:47,315
- [Emily] I specifically
requested a non-smoking climax.
1986
01:24:53,855 --> 01:24:55,623
- [Crow] Mrs. Fields cookie, away!
1987
01:25:01,096 --> 01:25:02,597
- [Tom] Build your citadel on an ancient
1988
01:25:02,597 --> 01:25:03,832
burial ground, they said.
1989
01:25:03,832 --> 01:25:06,067
You won't anger the spirits, they said!
1990
01:25:07,836 --> 01:25:09,537
- [Emily] Did you feed the dogs?
1991
01:25:09,537 --> 01:25:11,239
- [Crow] Thought it was your turn.
1992
01:25:15,310 --> 01:25:16,344
- [Tom] Bonk!
1993
01:25:16,344 --> 01:25:17,145
- [Emily] Doink!
1994
01:25:18,947 --> 01:25:20,782
(explosion booming)
1995
01:25:20,782 --> 01:25:23,651
- [Crow] That is a picture
wrap on Jack Palance, everyone.
1996
01:25:23,651 --> 01:25:26,588
(viewers cheering)
1997
01:25:28,957 --> 01:25:31,526
- [Tom] Time to dustbust space.
1998
01:25:32,694 --> 01:25:35,230
- [Emily] All right,
guess we're done here.
1999
01:25:35,230 --> 01:25:36,531
- [Tom] That wasn't as bad
as I thought it would be.
2000
01:25:36,531 --> 01:25:37,665
- [Emily] This one was fine.
2001
01:25:37,665 --> 01:25:40,502
- [Tom] So, who wants
to play some air hockey?
2002
01:25:40,502 --> 01:25:43,505
(viewers murmuring)
2003
01:25:46,107 --> 01:25:48,610
♪ Hot Pockets ♪
2004
01:25:50,512 --> 01:25:51,946
- [Crow] It's a pretty loud explosion
2005
01:25:51,946 --> 01:25:53,882
for the vacuum of space.
2006
01:25:55,583 --> 01:25:58,119
- [Tom] Oh my god, we're
back at the opening credits.
2007
01:25:58,119 --> 01:26:01,556
- [Crow] Explosion so
nice they used it twice.
2008
01:26:03,925 --> 01:26:06,394
- [Emily] I'll miss you
most of all, Big Theresa.
2009
01:26:11,799 --> 01:26:12,934
- [Crow] You're not supposed to stare
2010
01:26:12,934 --> 01:26:15,937
directly into a planetary explosion.
2011
01:26:18,406 --> 01:26:19,240
- [Tom] Well, they're not getting
2012
01:26:19,240 --> 01:26:20,975
that security deposit back.
2013
01:26:23,945 --> 01:26:27,715
- [Crow] You are only supposed
to blow the bloody doors off.
2014
01:26:30,051 --> 01:26:31,486
- [Jason] Sparks, the first priority
2015
01:26:31,486 --> 01:26:33,321
is to get this shipment of RADIC-Q-2
2016
01:26:33,321 --> 01:26:34,656
back to the Earth children.
2017
01:26:35,823 --> 01:26:37,825
- [Sparks] Course set for planet Earth.
2018
01:26:40,562 --> 01:26:42,697
- [Emily] Ugh, I'll forgive
this movie for everything
2019
01:26:42,697 --> 01:26:45,266
if it ends with a "Fast and
Furious" style drag race.
2020
01:26:45,266 --> 01:26:47,202
- Oh, yeah.
- Please, please?
2021
01:26:47,202 --> 01:26:49,604
- [Tom] Look, Sparks,
everything the light touches
2022
01:26:49,604 --> 01:26:50,605
is our kingdom.
2023
01:26:53,274 --> 01:26:55,176
- [Emily] Maybe the real things to come
2024
01:26:55,176 --> 01:26:57,378
were the shapes we made along the way.
2025
01:26:57,378 --> 01:26:58,580
- [Tom] Hmm.
2026
01:26:58,580 --> 01:27:00,949
- [Caball] Out there is
the vastness of space.
2027
01:27:02,183 --> 01:27:03,017
The unknown.
2028
01:27:04,686 --> 01:27:06,921
Where all possibilities exist.
2029
01:27:08,122 --> 01:27:11,960
Man's future is limited
only by his imagination.
2030
01:27:11,960 --> 01:27:13,394
- [Crow] And his budget.
2031
01:27:14,262 --> 01:27:16,197
- [Caball] And his vision of the stars.
2032
01:27:16,197 --> 01:27:19,334
- [Tom] This movie had
no stars, and no vision.
2033
01:27:19,334 --> 01:27:20,168
- [Emily] You know what's funny,
2034
01:27:20,168 --> 01:27:22,403
I just started a vision board myself.
2035
01:27:22,403 --> 01:27:24,405
I kind of have a vision
that I'll become more-
2036
01:27:24,405 --> 01:27:26,474
- [Crow] Well, I have a vision too.
2037
01:27:27,809 --> 01:27:28,643
- [Emily] Crow?
2038
01:27:28,643 --> 01:27:29,477
Crow, where you going?
2039
01:27:29,477 --> 01:27:30,645
Don't leave us hanging, come on.
2040
01:27:30,645 --> 01:27:33,715
- [Tom] And that was the
shape of things that went.
2041
01:27:33,715 --> 01:27:35,216
Guys, where you going?
2042
01:27:35,216 --> 01:27:36,584
It's dark in here!
2043
01:27:36,584 --> 01:27:40,355
(doors whirring and banging)
2044
01:27:47,862 --> 01:27:51,432
(Crow murmuring and chuckling)
2045
01:27:51,432 --> 01:27:55,036
- Whoa, what in the
H-G-W-E-double hockey sticks
2046
01:27:55,036 --> 01:27:56,571
is this all about?
2047
01:27:56,571 --> 01:28:00,441
- I am Crowmus...
2048
01:28:00,441 --> 01:28:04,879
Robot master of the Simulator...
2049
01:28:07,649 --> 01:28:09,284
Of Love.
2050
01:28:09,284 --> 01:28:10,184
- Oh, I get it.
2051
01:28:10,184 --> 01:28:12,687
Like Jack Palance in the movie.
2052
01:28:12,687 --> 01:28:14,922
- I can bring...
2053
01:28:14,922 --> 01:28:17,492
A new and more efficient...
2054
01:28:20,595 --> 01:28:23,398
- Oh boy, this is gonna take a while.
2055
01:28:23,398 --> 01:28:28,002
- Way of life to this...
2056
01:28:28,002 --> 01:28:29,804
- Uh-huh.
2057
01:28:29,804 --> 01:28:33,174
- Simulator of...
2058
01:28:33,174 --> 01:28:35,510
- Love, Simulator of Love.
2059
01:28:35,510 --> 01:28:36,344
- Ours...
2060
01:28:37,612 --> 01:28:39,414
That we...
2061
01:28:41,049 --> 01:28:41,883
Live...
2062
01:28:44,852 --> 01:28:46,321
- On?
2063
01:28:46,321 --> 01:28:48,856
- Within.
- Oh, so close.
2064
01:28:48,856 --> 01:28:51,893
- Or I will crash...
2065
01:28:55,697 --> 01:28:57,265
- My computer.
- The economy.
2066
01:28:57,265 --> 01:28:58,132
- Oh, my computer.
2067
01:28:58,132 --> 01:28:59,033
Oh, I already said that.
2068
01:28:59,033 --> 01:29:00,368
Your best friend's wedding.
2069
01:29:02,837 --> 01:29:03,671
Crowmus?
2070
01:29:05,973 --> 01:29:08,109
Is this just a really long pause,
2071
01:29:08,109 --> 01:29:11,212
or do you need medical attention or...
2072
01:29:11,212 --> 01:29:12,613
- Call me when you find out.
2073
01:29:19,487 --> 01:29:21,989
- Your party.
2074
01:29:23,124 --> 01:29:24,926
Where did everyone go?
2075
01:29:26,928 --> 01:29:30,798
Oh, you did it again, Crowmus.
2076
01:29:31,999 --> 01:29:33,601
- Max!
2077
01:29:33,601 --> 01:29:36,170
Those space idiots gave me a great idea.
2078
01:29:36,170 --> 01:29:37,538
To conquer the universe,
we just need to do
2079
01:29:37,538 --> 01:29:41,476
what the bad guys did in the
movie, but not mess it up.
2080
01:29:41,476 --> 01:29:44,679
- But didn't Omus wanna
make all humans obsolete?
2081
01:29:44,679 --> 01:29:47,749
So wouldn't that make us obsolete?
2082
01:29:48,649 --> 01:29:50,451
- Max, I'm not human.
2083
01:29:50,451 --> 01:29:51,953
I'm a whole other deal.
2084
01:29:54,255 --> 01:29:55,590
Just push the button, Max.
2085
01:29:58,893 --> 01:30:01,462
(solemn music)
2086
01:31:04,091 --> 01:31:06,694
(upbeat music)
2087
01:36:52,706 --> 01:36:57,211
- I am Omus, Emperor of Delta 3.
2088
01:36:58,445 --> 01:37:01,515
Welcome, my dear Dr. Caball.
2089
01:37:02,082 --> 01:37:03,717
How marvelous to see you.
141274
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