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1
00:00:12,095 --> 00:00:14,264
[laughter]
2
00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:15,390
Thanks so much.
3
00:00:15,557 --> 00:00:18,476
Well, now I'm looking
for a volunteer from the audience.
4
00:00:18,852 --> 00:00:21,771
Okay. Let's welcome him on stage.
Come on up.
5
00:00:21,855 --> 00:00:22,814
[laughs]
6
00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:23,982
-What's your name?
-Charlie.
7
00:00:24,065 --> 00:00:25,775
-Charlie, so nice to meet you.
-You too.
8
00:00:25,859 --> 00:00:27,902
Charlie, we're gonna do
just a quick sobriety test.
9
00:00:27,986 --> 00:00:28,903
-Can you do that?
-Yeah.
10
00:00:28,987 --> 00:00:31,156
-How many balls do I have in my hand?
-One.
11
00:00:31,364 --> 00:00:33,116
These aren't supposed to be
hard yet, Charlie.
12
00:00:33,199 --> 00:00:35,035
[crowd laughs]
I'll slow it down for you. Okay.
13
00:00:35,118 --> 00:00:38,288
Charlie, all I want you to do
is remember which hand the ball is in.
14
00:00:38,371 --> 00:00:39,622
-Can you do that?
-I think so.
15
00:00:39,706 --> 00:00:40,623
He thinks so.
16
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:43,460
Confidence is not your strong suit,
neither is your suit-suit.
17
00:00:43,585 --> 00:00:44,419
All right, Charlie,
18
00:00:44,627 --> 00:00:47,172
I just want you to focus
on which hand the ball is in.
19
00:00:47,255 --> 00:00:48,506
-Okay.
-And I'll give you a hint.
20
00:00:48,590 --> 00:00:50,425
It's not this one.
21
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:52,927
-Right here?
-Goddamn it, Charlie.
22
00:00:53,011 --> 00:00:55,013
You had one job.
I'll give you one last chance.
23
00:00:55,096 --> 00:00:56,306
Which hand is it in?
24
00:00:56,681 --> 00:00:58,808
-Right here?
-No, Charlie, it's in your pocket.
25
00:00:59,893 --> 00:01:02,062
Give him a round of applause.
It's Charlie.
26
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:03,396
Give it up for him.
27
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:04,689
[laughter]
28
00:01:05,774 --> 00:01:07,275
All right, ladies and gentlemen,
29
00:01:07,358 --> 00:01:10,779
the next trick is something
that kept me out of college for...
30
00:01:11,154 --> 00:01:12,155
That was really fun.
31
00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:15,158
God, I'm so full.
32
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:17,535
If I didn't have to drive,
33
00:01:18,036 --> 00:01:21,664
I would have probably took them up
on that offer of the bourbon flight.
34
00:01:21,998 --> 00:01:23,416
That's so cool.
35
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:24,793
[sighs wearily]
36
00:01:24,918 --> 00:01:26,669
We should do dancing next.
37
00:01:27,504 --> 00:01:31,299
So the babysitter did art with the kids.
That's cool.
38
00:01:31,674 --> 00:01:32,717
[chuckles]
39
00:01:34,677 --> 00:01:35,845
Such a fun night.
40
00:01:38,014 --> 00:01:39,349
Good night, sweetie. Love you.
41
00:01:46,106 --> 00:01:48,817
[woman] Why the fuck didn't you
stick up for yourself?
42
00:01:51,319 --> 00:01:53,696
-What?
-Why the fuck
43
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,324
didn't you stick up for yourself,
44
00:01:56,407 --> 00:01:58,159
you fucking coward?
45
00:02:02,038 --> 00:02:03,206
What are you talking about?
46
00:02:03,289 --> 00:02:04,958
The magician, Charlie.
47
00:02:05,291 --> 00:02:06,501
He embarrassed you.
48
00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:07,919
What?
49
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:10,171
He brought you on stage,
50
00:02:10,255 --> 00:02:12,507
and he insulted your intelligence.
51
00:02:12,590 --> 00:02:15,635
He made fun of how you look,
and you did nothing.
52
00:02:16,094 --> 00:02:17,053
[laughs]
53
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:20,682
No, he was just joking around.
He was a funny magician.
54
00:02:21,266 --> 00:02:24,936
That fat piece of shit
made you look like a fool, Charlie.
55
00:02:25,311 --> 00:02:28,690
He basically pulled your little dick out
in front of everyone
56
00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:31,776
and jerked you off
until nothing came out,
57
00:02:31,860 --> 00:02:33,903
because you are a boy.
58
00:02:33,987 --> 00:02:36,948
No, that is not what happened.
59
00:02:37,031 --> 00:02:37,866
Look...
60
00:02:39,450 --> 00:02:41,202
we will stay married
61
00:02:41,619 --> 00:02:45,248
and raise the kids
until they're out of the house,
62
00:02:45,707 --> 00:02:48,793
but I will not respect you,
63
00:02:48,877 --> 00:02:51,212
and I'll make sure the kids don't either.
64
00:02:51,296 --> 00:02:55,091
Oh, my God,
it was just a magic act, Brenda.
65
00:02:55,175 --> 00:02:58,928
You make ten times what he makes.
Why didn't you say that to him?
66
00:02:59,012 --> 00:03:02,140
-I don't know if that would've helped.
-Right, maybe it wouldn't have helped.
67
00:03:02,223 --> 00:03:03,558
I'm glad you had fun
68
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:07,353
while everyone else
had to watch an adult man
69
00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,315
jerk your little-boy dick off.
70
00:03:11,858 --> 00:03:13,401
Jesus Christ.
71
00:03:14,235 --> 00:03:16,446
-[applause]
-[magician] Now... Thank you.
72
00:03:16,529 --> 00:03:19,324
I'd like to pick from the audience
any volunteer.
73
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,366
-Someone--
-Yeah!
74
00:03:20,783 --> 00:03:21,868
I'll do it.
75
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,872
Is that... That's a familiar face.
76
00:03:25,955 --> 00:03:28,458
We don't usually do that,
but welcome him to the stage.
77
00:03:28,541 --> 00:03:30,627
-[applause]
-Hello. How are you? Terrific.
78
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,170
I don't have a boy dick.
79
00:03:32,837 --> 00:03:35,840
Okay. Okay, that's fine. Uh...
80
00:03:35,924 --> 00:03:38,885
I make ten times as much as you.
81
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,930
Well, you wouldn't know it from the suit.
82
00:03:42,013 --> 00:03:43,306
[laughter]
83
00:03:44,682 --> 00:03:46,935
[yells] You ruined my fucking life!
84
00:03:49,479 --> 00:03:52,565
["Big Flame (Is Gonna Break
My Heart In Two)" by Doris Wilson]
85
00:03:56,486 --> 00:03:58,112
We here at Ford would like to thank you
86
00:03:58,196 --> 00:04:00,198
for agreeing to be part
of this focus group.
87
00:04:00,281 --> 00:04:02,116
Your ideas will actually be used
88
00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:03,910
in helping us create a brand-new model.
89
00:04:04,619 --> 00:04:05,745
There are no wrong answers.
90
00:04:05,828 --> 00:04:07,038
So let's go around the room,
91
00:04:07,121 --> 00:04:09,165
and you just go ahead
and call out features
92
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,626
you'd love to see implemented
in your ideal car.
93
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:12,585
Whenever you're ready.
94
00:04:13,336 --> 00:04:15,630
-Bluetooth capabilities.
-Great.
95
00:04:15,713 --> 00:04:17,715
-Voice-activated lights.
-Perfect.
96
00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:19,300
-Satellite radio.
-Mm-hm.
97
00:04:19,384 --> 00:04:21,844
-Extra cup holders.
-And a phone holder.
98
00:04:21,928 --> 00:04:25,181
A good steering wheel
that doesn't fly off while you're driving.
99
00:04:27,016 --> 00:04:28,309
[man] Rear-view camera.
100
00:04:28,476 --> 00:04:30,478
-Comfy seats.
-A good steering wheel
101
00:04:30,561 --> 00:04:33,439
that doesn't fly off your hand
while you're driving.
102
00:04:36,693 --> 00:04:38,194
Uh, automatic side-view mirrors.
103
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,904
A great steering wheel
104
00:04:39,988 --> 00:04:43,241
that doesn't whiff out of the window
while I driving.
105
00:04:43,616 --> 00:04:45,076
That is a good idea.
106
00:04:45,159 --> 00:04:46,286
Yeah, I wrote it down.
107
00:04:46,369 --> 00:04:47,287
Oh, nice.
108
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:50,373
Okay, what do we think
it should look like?
109
00:04:50,456 --> 00:04:51,666
-Sleek.
-Good.
110
00:04:51,749 --> 00:04:52,792
High-tech.
111
00:04:52,875 --> 00:04:54,460
-Aerodynamic.
-Too small.
112
00:04:55,628 --> 00:04:56,796
-I'm sorry?
-Too small.
113
00:04:57,422 --> 00:04:59,257
So when you get in there, you're like,
114
00:04:59,340 --> 00:05:03,052
"If the steering wheel fly off,
I'm toast."
115
00:05:03,553 --> 00:05:05,763
Look, I-- Okay, I don't know why
we'd make it too small.
116
00:05:05,847 --> 00:05:08,808
I think it's a good idea, and I stand by.
117
00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,728
-Okay.
-And you can have, like, a sporty look.
118
00:05:11,811 --> 00:05:13,604
-Great.
-Teacher's pet.
119
00:05:16,691 --> 00:05:17,525
Any other ideas?
120
00:05:17,608 --> 00:05:19,319
Stinky!
121
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:20,486
What?
122
00:05:20,778 --> 00:05:23,114
What about if it is stinking inside?
123
00:05:23,197 --> 00:05:25,533
Sorry, you want that in a car?
124
00:05:25,616 --> 00:05:26,701
I'm sorry.
125
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,995
I cannot think any good car idea
126
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,663
because this guy keep farting.
127
00:05:30,955 --> 00:05:32,957
Okay, let's just try and focus on the car.
128
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,252
What are some ways
we can make it family-friendly?
129
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:40,006
No space for mother-in-law.
130
00:05:41,966 --> 00:05:43,301
That's not helpful.
131
00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:44,594
Shut up, Paul.
132
00:05:45,094 --> 00:05:47,972
You probably love your mother-in-law.
133
00:05:48,056 --> 00:05:49,515
I actually do.
134
00:05:49,599 --> 00:05:52,018
Oh, my God, he admit it!
135
00:05:52,101 --> 00:05:53,227
[group laughs]
136
00:05:53,394 --> 00:05:54,479
-Paul?
-What?
137
00:05:54,562 --> 00:05:56,064
-Paul?
-What?
138
00:05:56,147 --> 00:06:00,526
[whispers] You have... no... good...
car... ideas.
139
00:06:00,610 --> 00:06:02,695
-Shut up.
-I doing the best at this.
140
00:06:02,779 --> 00:06:04,572
All right, maybe we should lay off Paul.
141
00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:05,823
That's what his wife said.
142
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:08,076
[group laughs]
143
00:06:08,743 --> 00:06:11,245
Okay, this car is everything.
144
00:06:13,164 --> 00:06:14,290
[group celebrates]
145
00:06:14,374 --> 00:06:15,750
You flinched, Paul!
146
00:06:15,833 --> 00:06:18,961
Now you have to marry your mother-in-law!
147
00:06:19,045 --> 00:06:20,755
Yeah, because he landed it
and you flinched,
148
00:06:20,838 --> 00:06:22,298
you have to marry your mother-in-law!
149
00:06:22,382 --> 00:06:23,341
I did not flinch.
150
00:06:23,424 --> 00:06:25,968
-You have to! You have to, Paul.
-Marry your mother-in-law.
151
00:06:26,052 --> 00:06:27,345
-I didn't flinch.
-Come on, Paul.
152
00:06:27,428 --> 00:06:30,473
If you don't, that mean you yourself
153
00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:33,393
admit it yourself that you suck.
154
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:35,478
That's true.
You flinched with the bottle, Paul.
155
00:06:35,561 --> 00:06:39,232
Who is the most popular now, Paul?
156
00:06:39,315 --> 00:06:41,317
[group leader]
Paul, you have to marry your mother-in-law
157
00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:42,944
if you flinched at the bottle!
158
00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:44,779
[whooshing]
159
00:06:47,782 --> 00:06:50,034
-[group celebrates]
-Paul! You flinch!
160
00:06:50,118 --> 00:06:54,163
[funk music playing]
161
00:06:55,081 --> 00:06:58,000
[woman]
Chronic back pain affects everything:
162
00:06:58,084 --> 00:07:00,962
Your family, your job,
even your leisure time.
163
00:07:01,045 --> 00:07:02,880
At Laser Spine Specialists,
164
00:07:02,964 --> 00:07:05,550
with our minimally invasive spine surgery,
165
00:07:05,633 --> 00:07:08,553
you can be back on your feet
and back in the saddle.
166
00:07:08,761 --> 00:07:10,638
I never thought I'd ride again.
167
00:07:10,805 --> 00:07:12,765
Thanks to Laser Spine Specialists,
168
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:15,476
I'm back on my bike and enjoying life.
169
00:07:15,560 --> 00:07:17,728
I can finally get back
to tending my garden.
170
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:21,441
I can finally fight
my wife's new husband, Danny Crouse.
171
00:07:21,691 --> 00:07:25,903
Call Laser Spine Specialists
for your no-cost MRI review
172
00:07:25,987 --> 00:07:27,530
and change your life today.
173
00:07:27,613 --> 00:07:29,907
I'm back to helping out
around the house again.
174
00:07:29,991 --> 00:07:32,285
I can finally lift my son
over my head again.
175
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:35,288
I can lift my son over my head again,
176
00:07:35,371 --> 00:07:37,206
and there ain't shit he could do about it.
177
00:07:37,290 --> 00:07:38,666
Come here, you little fuck!
178
00:07:39,542 --> 00:07:41,002
Dad! What the hell?
179
00:07:41,085 --> 00:07:43,254
Come on. I'm gonna get you
over my head like a big boy.
180
00:07:43,504 --> 00:07:45,465
He's been rude to me his whole life!
181
00:07:45,548 --> 00:07:47,508
Call Laser Spine Specialists today
182
00:07:47,592 --> 00:07:49,969
to learn how a less than two-inch incision
183
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,721
can give you a new lease on life.
184
00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:53,681
I can spin my wife again.
185
00:07:54,432 --> 00:07:56,726
I can play with my dog again.
[dog barking]
186
00:07:57,602 --> 00:08:01,314
I could get my money back from Robbie Star
at Superstar Tracks Records.
187
00:08:01,397 --> 00:08:02,940
-[siren wails]
-[car horn blares]
188
00:08:04,650 --> 00:08:06,027
You told me I could sing!
189
00:08:06,110 --> 00:08:08,154
I listened to the record we made
and it sucks!
190
00:08:08,237 --> 00:08:09,530
Hey, I disagree, Ron.
191
00:08:09,614 --> 00:08:12,200
I gave you $10,000 to make me a star!
192
00:08:12,283 --> 00:08:15,453
We just need a couple more dollars
to get this thing really popping off!
193
00:08:15,536 --> 00:08:16,621
I'm through, Robbie.
194
00:08:16,704 --> 00:08:17,997
I played "Mountain River Rock"
195
00:08:18,080 --> 00:08:19,874
for my whole family
and they laughed at me.
196
00:08:19,957 --> 00:08:22,585
Your family hates you! Only I love you!
197
00:08:22,668 --> 00:08:24,670
And that song is rockin', baby.
198
00:08:24,754 --> 00:08:26,964
We got to fly Jeff Chris down from Indiana
199
00:08:27,048 --> 00:08:29,467
-to mix it professionally.
-You listen to me.
200
00:08:29,550 --> 00:08:34,847
No more scamming adults
into thinking they're stars.
201
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:38,100
I hear you tricked
one more old guy at the mall--
202
00:08:38,184 --> 00:08:40,144
-[thud]
-What the hell, Robbie?!
203
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,479
Where's my airplay?
204
00:08:41,562 --> 00:08:44,398
I had the radio tuned to that station
you told me all weekend
205
00:08:44,482 --> 00:08:45,858
and my song never came on.
206
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,860
Don't listen to him, he tricked me too.
207
00:08:47,944 --> 00:08:50,905
He didn't trick me. I am a star.
Nobody tricked me.
208
00:08:50,988 --> 00:08:53,074
Hey, listen, I just got this new beat
209
00:08:53,157 --> 00:08:55,117
and it is totally in your Q zone,
all right?
210
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:57,578
Don't start this with me, Robbie.
211
00:08:57,662 --> 00:09:00,206
-I can't sing.
-It's a guaranteed goddamn hit, all right?
212
00:09:00,289 --> 00:09:03,626
It's not exactly in my Q zone, is it?
213
00:09:03,709 --> 00:09:05,711
I mean, yeah.
It's also in Johnny's Q zone.
214
00:09:05,795 --> 00:09:06,963
Johnny, do "Palm Tree" for us.
215
00:09:07,046 --> 00:09:09,840
♪ Palm tree girls
The palm tree guys... ♪
216
00:09:09,924 --> 00:09:12,009
Don't give it to Johnny. Hold on!
217
00:09:12,093 --> 00:09:14,095
Let me think about it for a minute!
218
00:09:16,097 --> 00:09:17,098
[drumbeat]
219
00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:18,474
♪ Moon river rock ♪
220
00:09:19,475 --> 00:09:20,434
♪ Moon river roll ♪
221
00:09:20,518 --> 00:09:22,562
[woman]
Call Laser Spine Specialists today
222
00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,855
and get back to the things
you've always wanted to do.
223
00:09:24,939 --> 00:09:26,232
You're too tight!
224
00:09:26,315 --> 00:09:27,441
Need to loosen up!
225
00:09:27,525 --> 00:09:28,859
It's gonna be a hit,
226
00:09:28,943 --> 00:09:31,112
but you have to relax!
227
00:09:31,737 --> 00:09:34,824
♪ Baby, baby, baby, baby
Ba-ba-bay ♪
228
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:37,910
♪ Whoa, baby, baby, baby, bay ♪
229
00:09:38,411 --> 00:09:40,871
And that was my dad, you know?
230
00:09:41,414 --> 00:09:43,791
No matter how busy he was,
231
00:09:43,874 --> 00:09:46,085
he always had time for his kids.
232
00:09:46,669 --> 00:09:47,753
Gonna miss you, Dad.
233
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:53,092
Beautiful words, Kyle.
Your father would have been so proud.
234
00:09:53,426 --> 00:09:57,138
And he would have been so happy
to see all of you here today.
235
00:09:57,722 --> 00:09:59,599
So to honor Paul,
236
00:09:59,682 --> 00:10:04,228
why don't we listen to
and enjoy a beautiful song?
237
00:10:04,478 --> 00:10:08,065
Oh, our organist, Peg,
is under the weather,
238
00:10:08,441 --> 00:10:11,569
so we have a replacement organist
for the day.
239
00:10:12,028 --> 00:10:16,824
And I'm now seeing that he brought
his own much larger organ.
240
00:10:17,241 --> 00:10:18,576
My condolences.
241
00:10:19,952 --> 00:10:21,537
Let us bow our heads.
242
00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:24,457
Two, three, four!
243
00:10:24,540 --> 00:10:26,751
[confusing carnival song playing]
244
00:10:26,834 --> 00:10:27,752
[slide whistle]
245
00:10:28,294 --> 00:10:29,879
[horns honking]
246
00:10:31,756 --> 00:10:33,049
[confusing music continuing]
247
00:10:36,802 --> 00:10:37,762
[honk]
248
00:10:37,887 --> 00:10:40,681
[music stopping]
249
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:43,601
My condolences.
250
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,061
Thank you, New Joe.
251
00:10:45,144 --> 00:10:46,812
The thanks is all mine, Parson.
252
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:50,858
I would like to now call up
Paul's daughter, Olivia.
253
00:10:51,442 --> 00:10:52,902
And I'll play her on.
254
00:10:52,985 --> 00:10:54,278
That is not necessary.
255
00:10:54,362 --> 00:10:56,781
This one is somber,
so it's all right to cry.
256
00:10:56,864 --> 00:10:59,408
It's called "He Layeth on High,"
257
00:10:59,492 --> 00:11:01,452
and it's about a big baby duck
258
00:11:01,535 --> 00:11:03,663
who gets his head caught
in a stewed tomato,
259
00:11:04,038 --> 00:11:05,373
so hold on to your hats.
260
00:11:05,706 --> 00:11:06,707
Two, three, four!
261
00:11:07,083 --> 00:11:08,918
-[rapid jaunty melody playing]
-[honk]
262
00:11:10,169 --> 00:11:12,171
[plate breaks, jaunty melody continues]
263
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:14,924
-[jaunty melody continues]
-[honk]
264
00:11:15,007 --> 00:11:16,509
[slide whistles]
265
00:11:16,592 --> 00:11:18,344
-[plate breaks]
-[cymbal]
266
00:11:18,427 --> 00:11:19,637
-New Joe.
-[honking]
267
00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:20,554
New Joe!
268
00:11:20,971 --> 00:11:21,806
Keep going?
269
00:11:22,098 --> 00:11:22,932
No.
270
00:11:23,015 --> 00:11:24,892
-[old-fashioned vehicle horn]
-melody continues]
271
00:11:24,975 --> 00:11:26,310
-[honk]
-[plate breaks]
272
00:11:26,394 --> 00:11:29,605
-[high-pitched slide whistle]
-[melody continues]
273
00:11:33,442 --> 00:11:35,861
[melody stopping]
274
00:11:36,946 --> 00:11:39,782
♪ Yah-yah-yah-yah-yah-yah ♪
275
00:11:42,201 --> 00:11:44,328
Your new boyfriend seems very mature.
276
00:11:44,537 --> 00:11:45,746
Yeah, Howie's great.
277
00:11:45,830 --> 00:11:48,374
He works at the tobacco shop
my mom buys cigars at.
278
00:11:48,582 --> 00:11:49,750
All right, let's play.
279
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:53,254
Your record collection's
very meat and potatoes, Liz.
280
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,797
Oh, thank you.
281
00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:57,216
No, it just means you don't have
anything rare in there.
282
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,427
Okay, everyone got a celebrity name in?
283
00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:02,513
All right, Team One, you're up.
284
00:12:02,596 --> 00:12:04,932
-[man] Remind me the rules again?
-You can say anything you want,
285
00:12:05,015 --> 00:12:06,392
just don't say the name
you pull out of the hat.
286
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,685
-Okay.
-Okay.
287
00:12:07,768 --> 00:12:09,103
-Ready?
-All right, let's do this.
288
00:12:09,186 --> 00:12:10,938
And... go.
289
00:12:11,021 --> 00:12:12,690
-He was in Ocean's Eleven.
-Matt Damon.
290
00:12:12,773 --> 00:12:13,691
No.
291
00:12:13,774 --> 00:12:16,068
He has a tequila, silver fox...
292
00:12:16,152 --> 00:12:17,153
-George Clooney.
-Yes.
293
00:12:17,236 --> 00:12:20,698
Okay, she was a pretty woman.
294
00:12:20,781 --> 00:12:23,033
-Julia Roberts.
-Yes. Okay, um...
295
00:12:26,287 --> 00:12:28,414
All right, I guess this is a musician.
296
00:12:28,497 --> 00:12:30,332
-John Mayer.
-No, older...
297
00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:31,250
-Time.
-Goddamn.
298
00:12:31,333 --> 00:12:34,336
It's jazz legend
Marcus "The Worm" Hicks.
299
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:36,297
[giggles] Okay, who put that in?
300
00:12:36,380 --> 00:12:37,798
That one might be one of mine.
301
00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,635
Okay, Team Two, we're up.
302
00:12:41,719 --> 00:12:43,012
Howie, you go first.
303
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:44,388
[sighs] All right.
304
00:12:44,513 --> 00:12:46,891
[groans]
305
00:12:47,349 --> 00:12:49,769
-This is a cool hat.
-Okay, ready?
306
00:12:50,060 --> 00:12:52,146
-And... go.
-All right, this guy
307
00:12:52,229 --> 00:12:53,773
ran with Thaddeus Finks.
308
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:56,984
He was one of the Eight Balls
in Mookie Kramer and the Eight Balls.
309
00:12:57,067 --> 00:12:58,402
This doesn't sound like anything.
310
00:12:58,486 --> 00:13:00,613
He played the alto sax
with the kink in it.
311
00:13:00,696 --> 00:13:02,782
-I don't know.
-Not sure.
312
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,034
Really? Okay, pass.
313
00:13:05,576 --> 00:13:07,495
Okay, this one's easy.
He's got the freak lips,
314
00:13:07,578 --> 00:13:10,831
he can hit the high C all night long.
315
00:13:11,707 --> 00:13:13,250
He was king of the tuk-tuk sound.
316
00:13:13,334 --> 00:13:14,502
Is this another jazz guy?
317
00:13:14,585 --> 00:13:15,628
Laura, you know this.
318
00:13:15,711 --> 00:13:17,880
-I need another hint.
-I told you this guy's life story
319
00:13:17,963 --> 00:13:19,215
that night we had dinner.
320
00:13:19,298 --> 00:13:20,925
I took you to Chartreuse.
321
00:13:21,008 --> 00:13:23,552
It was the same dinner that you said
you don't like any PDA.
322
00:13:23,636 --> 00:13:27,097
I tried to give you those little kisses,
and you said no PDA. Remember?
323
00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:30,142
I criticized you
for being addicted to your phone,
324
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:32,436
and tried to make it up to you
by buying you the entire dessert menu.
325
00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,771
And she didn't even take a bite.
326
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:36,148
-Time.
-Come on, guys!
327
00:13:36,398 --> 00:13:37,525
We didn't get one.
328
00:13:37,608 --> 00:13:39,860
Because they're supposed to be
celebrities everyone knows.
329
00:13:39,944 --> 00:13:42,863
Oh, you mean like household names
like Roy Donk,
330
00:13:42,947 --> 00:13:45,950
or Jack Marshall who wrote
The Munsters' theme song?
331
00:13:46,033 --> 00:13:46,951
Roy Donk?
332
00:13:47,034 --> 00:13:48,702
Okay, sweetie, I think you're just hungry.
333
00:13:48,786 --> 00:13:51,205
-Eat some of your Arizona walnuts.
-That's a good idea.
334
00:13:52,957 --> 00:13:54,416
Where be your nutcracker?
335
00:13:55,125 --> 00:13:57,837
Uh, I mean, I think we have one
in our Christmas stuff in the attic.
336
00:13:58,045 --> 00:14:00,256
Oh, great.
Well, that'll only take you a sec.
337
00:14:01,048 --> 00:14:01,882
Okay.
338
00:14:02,174 --> 00:14:04,093
-Yeah, I guess I'll go get that.
-Thanks.
339
00:14:05,761 --> 00:14:06,720
[groans]
340
00:14:06,804 --> 00:14:09,223
-All right, Team One, let's go.
-Okay.
341
00:14:11,559 --> 00:14:12,476
He's Iron Man.
342
00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:14,311
-Robert Downey Jr.
-[woman] Yes. Okay...
343
00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:17,356
Oh, I think this one's Howie's.
344
00:14:18,357 --> 00:14:19,567
Yeah, I don't know what to do.
345
00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:20,776
Just do Charades.
346
00:14:22,903 --> 00:14:23,737
Ooh!
347
00:14:24,488 --> 00:14:27,157
Oh, I wish I could hear what
she's playing, man. She's off the map.
348
00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:28,450
Time.
349
00:14:29,034 --> 00:14:31,871
-What was it?
-Tiny "Boop Squig" Shorterly.
350
00:14:32,204 --> 00:14:34,290
I mean, come on, is that even a celebrity?
351
00:14:34,373 --> 00:14:37,042
He's no Roy Donk, but he was
a regular guest on The Colgate Hour.
352
00:14:37,126 --> 00:14:38,085
What's The Colgate Hour?
353
00:14:38,627 --> 00:14:39,503
Excuse me!
354
00:14:39,587 --> 00:14:41,922
-Oh, my God.
-What? I said, "Excuse me."
355
00:14:42,339 --> 00:14:43,674
All right? We all do it.
356
00:14:43,757 --> 00:14:45,885
Let's not make a big deal about it.
It's embarrassing.
357
00:14:45,968 --> 00:14:48,554
-Here's your nutcracker, Howie.
-Oh, thanks, but I changed my mind.
358
00:14:48,637 --> 00:14:51,098
Listen, I saw you had
some gazpacho soup in your fridge.
359
00:14:51,181 --> 00:14:52,683
Can I have some gazpacho soup?
360
00:14:53,350 --> 00:14:55,728
[wearily]
Yes, you can have some gazpacho soup.
361
00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:57,646
[Howie] All right, let's get back into it.
362
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,440
[groans] Okay.
363
00:15:00,190 --> 00:15:03,068
It's my turn. My turn. Okay, let's see.
364
00:15:03,152 --> 00:15:05,779
Well, he was a frequent guest
on The Colgate Comedy Hour.
365
00:15:06,196 --> 00:15:07,865
The radio program. Come on.
366
00:15:07,948 --> 00:15:10,993
-I don't know what The Colgate Hour is.
-Okay, pass. Okay.
367
00:15:11,076 --> 00:15:12,494
I don't know if this will help you,
368
00:15:12,578 --> 00:15:15,539
but he was also a frequent guest
on The Colgate Comedy Hour.
369
00:15:15,623 --> 00:15:16,916
He did panels with Paul Julian,
370
00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,543
the guy who did the voice
of the Road Runner. "Beep-beep."
371
00:15:20,794 --> 00:15:22,630
Don't you remember
how we listened to his whole album
372
00:15:22,713 --> 00:15:24,173
that one night I told you
you'd never be a good writer
373
00:15:24,256 --> 00:15:26,050
-'cause you don't have a curious mind?
-Time.
374
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,302
-Damn it.
-Who was it?
375
00:15:28,385 --> 00:15:31,513
Paul Bufano.
Paul Bufano, how hard is that?
376
00:15:32,222 --> 00:15:34,016
Paul Bufano! Come on.
377
00:15:34,141 --> 00:15:36,644
Jeez! You don't remember that night
378
00:15:36,727 --> 00:15:39,021
we listened to the whole album
Cafeteria Jangle?
379
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:40,981
It's the night you gave me that Fitbit
380
00:15:41,065 --> 00:15:42,691
and I said I would get
wrist cancer from it.
381
00:15:42,775 --> 00:15:45,611
You said, "It's the cigars you smoke
that's gonna give you cancer.
382
00:15:45,694 --> 00:15:47,988
It's the T-bone steaks you eat
that are gonna give you cancer."
383
00:15:48,322 --> 00:15:49,448
You don't remember that?
384
00:15:49,531 --> 00:15:51,283
[woman] Just have some gazpacho, Howie.
385
00:15:51,367 --> 00:15:52,826
[Howie] Oh, my gazpacho soup is here.
386
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:56,580
[exclaims]
387
00:15:56,747 --> 00:15:59,458
-This gazpacho soup just burned my lips.
-The gazpacho?
388
00:15:59,541 --> 00:16:01,418
Yeah, it's been sitting out. It warmed up.
389
00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:03,629
It warmed up so much
that it burned your lip?
390
00:16:03,712 --> 00:16:06,966
Let me explain something to you.
If you're expecting something ice cold,
391
00:16:07,049 --> 00:16:09,093
and you bring it up to your lips
and it's room temp,
392
00:16:09,176 --> 00:16:11,136
it's going to feel
like your mouth's on fire.
393
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,013
It's gonna feel like your body's on fire.
394
00:16:13,097 --> 00:16:15,182
-No way, man
-[Howie] You know what? I'm bored.
395
00:16:15,391 --> 00:16:17,559
This party's officially boring. I'm bored,
396
00:16:17,643 --> 00:16:20,062
and you people are very rude.
Listen, let's get out of here.
397
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:22,189
All right? My buddy Ray,
his parents are out of town.
398
00:16:22,272 --> 00:16:24,692
He's gonna let us use his basement
for "if you know what I mean."
399
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,403
You guys really embarrassed me
in front of Howie.
400
00:16:28,195 --> 00:16:31,281
["Big Flame (Is Gonna Break
My Heart In Two)" by Doris Wilson]
401
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:53,345
♪ There's a flame, a flame ♪
402
00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:56,557
♪ A big flame in my heart ♪
403
00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,142
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
404
00:16:58,976 --> 00:17:04,148
♪ And believe me when I say
It's burning hot ♪
405
00:17:04,231 --> 00:17:05,649
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪
406
00:17:06,900 --> 00:17:09,611
♪ It's burning for you ♪
407
00:17:10,279 --> 00:17:14,658
♪ Even though we are through ♪
408
00:17:14,742 --> 00:17:19,913
♪ This big flame boy is gonna
Break my heart in two ♪
28891
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