Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:04,162
WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
0
-1:-1:-2,000 --> 00:00:20,000
-- resync by ransm --
1
00:02:13,048 --> 00:02:16,443
Fuck Wolverine.
2
00:02:16,487 --> 00:02:19,185
First, he rides my coattails
with the R rating.
3
00:02:19,229 --> 00:02:23,624
Then the hairy motherfucker
ups the ante by dying.
4
00:02:23,668 --> 00:02:25,844
What a dick.
5
00:02:25,887 --> 00:02:28,107
Well, guess what, Wolvie?
6
00:02:28,151 --> 00:02:30,979
I'm dying in this one, too.
7
00:02:33,721 --> 00:02:36,115
To understand
why I took a cat-nap
8
00:02:36,159 --> 00:02:38,248
on 1,200 gallons
of high-test fuel...
9
00:02:38,291 --> 00:02:39,640
I need to take you back
10
00:02:39,684 --> 00:02:42,121
to the dewy slopes
of six weeks ago.
11
00:02:42,165 --> 00:02:43,514
I'd gone international,
12
00:02:43,557 --> 00:02:45,472
taking out mass murderers,
gangsters,
13
00:02:45,516 --> 00:02:47,213
unspeakable monsters.
14
00:02:47,257 --> 00:02:50,216
People nobody would touch.
Except me.
15
00:02:50,260 --> 00:02:52,218
I'm gonna touch them all over.
16
00:02:55,874 --> 00:02:57,789
Hey, it's Gail calling.
17
00:02:57,832 --> 00:02:58,964
Love the shiny suit.
18
00:02:59,007 --> 00:03:00,748
Really brings out
19
00:03:00,792 --> 00:03:02,872
the sex trafficker
in your eyes.
20
00:03:03,925 --> 00:03:08,016
I don't
speak Cantonese, Mister...
21
00:03:08,060 --> 00:03:10,193
Well, I'm not even gonna
attempt that.
22
00:03:10,236 --> 00:03:12,717
But I did take 8th grade Spanish, so...
23
00:03:15,067 --> 00:03:17,896
Which literally
translates to...
24
00:03:17,939 --> 00:03:20,986
I don't bargain,
pumpkin fucker.
25
00:03:30,735 --> 00:03:33,477
Oh. Oh, this isn't Gilbert's.
26
00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:34,782
I am so sorry.
27
00:03:34,826 --> 00:03:36,506
I thought this was
an anal-bleaching party.
28
00:03:59,024 --> 00:04:00,895
Don't worry.
You're not going to die.
29
00:04:00,939 --> 00:04:03,028
Although these will kill you.
30
00:04:03,071 --> 00:04:04,290
Hit it, Dolly.
31
00:04:24,571 --> 00:04:25,964
I'm merely
a vessel for the Lord.
32
00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:39,804
Taking the hands out
of the guns of the criminals!
33
00:04:47,333 --> 00:04:49,857
Whoo! Do not go in there!
34
00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:58,649
Let's see
Captain America do that.
35
00:05:07,614 --> 00:05:09,137
Too exotic?
36
00:06:31,306 --> 00:06:34,266
Oh, God! Oh, God,
time out! Time out!
37
00:06:34,309 --> 00:06:37,835
Cut. I've got bad guy blood,
right in my open eye.
38
00:06:37,878 --> 00:06:39,880
Oh, that's so gross.
39
00:06:41,012 --> 00:06:43,188
Fuck.
40
00:06:43,231 --> 00:06:45,122
Looks like you left
a little landing strip there.
41
00:06:45,146 --> 00:06:46,191
I like it.
42
00:06:51,326 --> 00:06:52,937
Oh, man!
43
00:06:57,289 --> 00:06:59,247
My world tour
brought me home
44
00:06:59,291 --> 00:07:01,728
to this guy,
Sergei Valishnikov.
45
00:07:01,772 --> 00:07:03,295
But we'll get to him
in a moment.
46
00:07:03,338 --> 00:07:04,775
'Cause I know
what you're thinking.
47
00:07:04,818 --> 00:07:07,560
"I'm so glad
I left the kiddos at home."
48
00:07:07,604 --> 00:07:09,301
But that's where
you'd be wrong.
49
00:07:09,344 --> 00:07:12,086
That babysitter of yours
is high as fuck right now...
50
00:07:12,130 --> 00:07:16,439
and, believe it or not,
Deadpool 2 is a family film.
51
00:07:16,482 --> 00:07:18,266
True story.
52
00:07:18,310 --> 00:07:21,487
And every good family film
starts with a vicious murder.
53
00:07:21,531 --> 00:07:24,621
Bambi, The Lion King, Saw 7.
54
00:07:24,664 --> 00:07:27,972
Holy shit pickles!
That guy's on fire.
55
00:07:28,015 --> 00:07:30,931
That's not CGI, folks.
He's actually on fire.
56
00:07:30,975 --> 00:07:34,369
Yeah. You know I get paid
to take out bad guys, right?
57
00:07:34,413 --> 00:07:35,632
But this guy?
58
00:07:35,675 --> 00:07:37,634
He was
one of the worst of 'em.
59
00:07:40,332 --> 00:07:41,855
Hurry up and open
this fucking door,
60
00:07:41,899 --> 00:07:43,179
and let's kill
this motherfucker!
61
00:07:50,124 --> 00:07:52,170
Ugh. So gross.
62
00:07:52,213 --> 00:07:55,042
A panic room? Really?
63
00:07:55,086 --> 00:07:57,305
Can you come out?
64
00:07:57,349 --> 00:08:00,439
I really have to go.
It's my anniversary.
65
00:08:06,358 --> 00:08:07,770
Over and over,
I hear people say,
66
00:08:07,794 --> 00:08:09,361
"I just don't have
enough confidence."
67
00:08:09,404 --> 00:08:11,494
Listen, confidence is not
something you have.
68
00:08:11,537 --> 00:08:12,973
It's something you create.
69
00:08:13,017 --> 00:08:14,932
And you can create it
at any moment in time.
70
00:08:14,975 --> 00:08:16,673
A sense of confidence
is nothing
71
00:08:16,716 --> 00:08:18,457
but a sense of power
within yourself...
72
00:08:18,501 --> 00:08:20,043
a sense of certainty that
you can pull something off.
73
00:08:20,067 --> 00:08:22,156
Start the fucking car!
74
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,331
Dopinder!
75
00:08:23,375 --> 00:08:24,898
Start the fucking car!
76
00:08:29,599 --> 00:08:32,079
Shoot that motherfucker!
Shoot him!
77
00:08:32,123 --> 00:08:33,646
Whoo! Oh, I shit my pants.
78
00:08:33,690 --> 00:08:36,083
Actually, that may
have been me.
79
00:08:36,127 --> 00:08:37,389
Oh, mission accomplished?
80
00:08:37,432 --> 00:08:39,565
Oh, in a George W.
sort of way.
81
00:08:39,609 --> 00:08:41,306
Fucker can't stay
in a panic room forever.
82
00:08:41,349 --> 00:08:42,805
Oh, you're living
the dreams, DP.
83
00:08:42,829 --> 00:08:45,005
It has been
quite the run, Dopinder,
84
00:08:45,049 --> 00:08:46,354
and who'da thought?
85
00:08:46,398 --> 00:08:48,835
Now I'm talked about
in the same sentence as Jesus.
86
00:08:48,879 --> 00:08:50,750
Passion of the Christ, then me.
87
00:08:50,794 --> 00:08:52,056
At least domestically.
88
00:08:52,099 --> 00:08:53,318
We beat them overseas,
89
00:08:53,361 --> 00:08:55,363
where there's no such thing
as religion.
90
00:08:55,407 --> 00:08:57,583
I do want to live
the dreams, Pool Boy.
91
00:08:57,627 --> 00:09:00,020
Taxiing is not as sexy
as it looks.
92
00:09:00,064 --> 00:09:01,848
I want to fill my... Pockets?
93
00:09:01,892 --> 00:09:05,112
What's your poison?
A little, uh, cokey cokey?
94
00:09:05,156 --> 00:09:06,505
Can't maintain an erection
95
00:09:06,549 --> 00:09:08,091
without buying shoes online?
96
00:09:08,115 --> 00:09:10,074
I've never experienced
that last one.
97
00:09:10,117 --> 00:09:11,510
Talk to me, Goose.
98
00:09:11,554 --> 00:09:14,252
I was going to say "soul".
I want to fill my soul.
99
00:09:14,295 --> 00:09:17,385
I want to belong to something,
like you, Pool, sir.
100
00:09:17,429 --> 00:09:19,387
Dopinder... Hmm?
101
00:09:19,431 --> 00:09:21,259
You never cease
to surprise me.
102
00:09:22,565 --> 00:09:25,393
You know, the depth of
your heart is extraordinary.
103
00:09:25,437 --> 00:09:27,091
We all need
a sense of belonging.
104
00:09:27,134 --> 00:09:28,919
We all need
a genuine sense of home.
105
00:09:28,962 --> 00:09:30,094
A place in this world.
106
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:31,497
I want to become
a contract killer.
107
00:09:31,530 --> 00:09:33,358
I'm sorry. What did you say?
108
00:09:33,401 --> 00:09:35,360
Remember when
I kidnapped Bandhu
109
00:09:35,403 --> 00:09:36,729
and threatened him
with great violence?
110
00:09:36,753 --> 00:09:38,363
You kind of killed him.
111
00:09:38,406 --> 00:09:39,993
And then remember the movie
Interview with the Vampire?
112
00:09:40,017 --> 00:09:41,192
Don't want to.
113
00:09:41,235 --> 00:09:42,323
When Tom Cruise fed
114
00:09:42,367 --> 00:09:44,195
10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst blood
115
00:09:44,238 --> 00:09:45,457
for the first time...
116
00:09:45,500 --> 00:09:47,894
and she looked up
at his smooth,
117
00:09:47,938 --> 00:09:50,157
handsome face and said...
118
00:09:50,941 --> 00:09:52,725
"I want some more."
119
00:09:52,769 --> 00:09:56,424
Oh, Pool, picture me,
a 10-year-old Kirsten Dunst.
120
00:09:57,469 --> 00:10:00,167
I'll never not picture that.
121
00:10:00,211 --> 00:10:01,995
But I can't wait
to never speak of this,
122
00:10:02,039 --> 00:10:04,084
as soon as possible.
123
00:10:04,128 --> 00:10:06,609
We're here.
124
00:10:13,398 --> 00:10:15,400
Dopinder, it's me again.
125
00:10:15,443 --> 00:10:17,141
Look, a saner man
might discourage you
126
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,056
from joining
the deadly merc business...
127
00:10:19,099 --> 00:10:20,579
what, with your concave chest
128
00:10:20,623 --> 00:10:22,276
and your
paper towel tube arms.
129
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:24,017
But you're an eagle...
130
00:10:24,061 --> 00:10:26,063
and goddamn it,
an eagle's gotta soar.
131
00:10:26,106 --> 00:10:27,499
You gotta grab those dreams,
132
00:10:27,542 --> 00:10:29,153
grab those dreams
by the dick tip...
133
00:10:29,196 --> 00:10:30,720
and make it rain!
134
00:10:30,763 --> 00:10:32,678
I don't know what that means.
135
00:10:32,722 --> 00:10:34,680
Me neither.
136
00:10:35,289 --> 00:10:36,769
I'm gonna see you...
137
00:10:38,075 --> 00:10:39,424
at the office.
138
00:10:39,990 --> 00:10:41,121
In the sky.
139
00:10:41,165 --> 00:10:42,296
You're my Tom Cruise!
140
00:10:42,340 --> 00:10:43,950
And you're my Kristen Dunst!
141
00:10:43,994 --> 00:10:45,473
Kristen? Kirsten?
142
00:10:50,522 --> 00:10:52,132
Sorry I'm late.
143
00:10:52,176 --> 00:10:53,743
There was a bunch of
144
00:10:53,786 --> 00:10:55,875
handicapable children
stuck in a tree...
145
00:10:55,919 --> 00:10:57,442
and I had to, uh... Uh-uh.
146
00:10:57,485 --> 00:11:00,227
You're right.
I was fighting a caped badass.
147
00:11:00,271 --> 00:11:02,621
But then we discovered
his mom is named Martha, too.
148
00:11:02,665 --> 00:11:04,971
No.You got me.
149
00:11:05,015 --> 00:11:06,799
I was rounding up
all the gluten in the world
150
00:11:06,843 --> 00:11:08,061
and launching it into space...
151
00:11:08,105 --> 00:11:10,237
where it can't not
hurt us ever again.
152
00:11:10,281 --> 00:11:11,456
Try again.
153
00:11:12,022 --> 00:11:13,588
Diarrhea?
154
00:11:13,632 --> 00:11:15,392
We can't be sure
until I get this suit off...
155
00:11:16,330 --> 00:11:18,289
but, uh,
all signs point to yes.
156
00:11:20,204 --> 00:11:21,205
Traffic?
157
00:11:21,814 --> 00:11:22,859
Hmm?
158
00:11:24,077 --> 00:11:25,731
Kiss me
like you miss me, Red.
159
00:11:25,775 --> 00:11:26,775
Well, come here.
160
00:11:38,483 --> 00:11:40,920
I'm gonna shower
and get out of this suit.
161
00:11:40,964 --> 00:11:42,139
Don't you want
your surprise?
162
00:11:42,182 --> 00:11:44,010
Do I look like
a patient burn victim?
163
00:11:44,794 --> 00:11:46,056
I got one for you, too.
164
00:11:47,187 --> 00:11:48,711
Happy anniversary, baby.
165
00:11:48,754 --> 00:11:50,321
Open, open, open.
166
00:11:52,323 --> 00:11:54,064
Skee-Ball token.
167
00:11:54,107 --> 00:11:55,500
Our first date.
168
00:11:55,543 --> 00:11:57,110
Yup.
169
00:11:57,154 --> 00:11:59,809
That's genuine,
high-grade lead.
170
00:12:02,725 --> 00:12:05,031
I'll keep it forever.
171
00:12:05,075 --> 00:12:06,511
Thank you, baby.
172
00:12:08,121 --> 00:12:09,819
Open yours. All right, all right.
173
00:12:10,733 --> 00:12:12,038
Oh...
174
00:12:13,431 --> 00:12:15,322
That's just the most
beautiful thing that I've...
175
00:12:15,346 --> 00:12:16,739
I don't know
what this is.
176
00:12:16,782 --> 00:12:18,610
My IUD.
177
00:12:18,653 --> 00:12:19,829
A bomb?
178
00:12:19,872 --> 00:12:22,962
No, dick for brains.
My birth control device.
179
00:12:23,006 --> 00:12:24,094
What, you mean that your...
180
00:12:24,137 --> 00:12:25,878
Baby factory's open
for business.
181
00:12:25,922 --> 00:12:27,227
Oh, my God!
182
00:12:27,271 --> 00:12:30,535
Oh, my God! I want a boy!
183
00:12:30,578 --> 00:12:33,668
Or a little girl!
Definitely one or the other!
184
00:12:33,712 --> 00:12:36,497
Oh! And I want our kid
to have only one name.
185
00:12:37,063 --> 00:12:40,327
Like Cher or Todd.
186
00:12:40,371 --> 00:12:42,155
You gotta pump a baby
in me first, cowboy.
187
00:12:42,199 --> 00:12:43,548
Yes, I do.
188
00:12:43,591 --> 00:12:45,091
Let's watch some porn
and show that bed who's boss.
189
00:12:45,115 --> 00:12:46,116
Let's do that.
190
00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,467
♪ Papa... ♪
191
00:12:49,510 --> 00:12:51,686
♪ Can you hear me? ♪
192
00:12:53,123 --> 00:12:55,778
♪ Papa, can you see me? ♪
193
00:12:55,821 --> 00:12:58,041
Does this song
sound familiar to you?
194
00:13:00,347 --> 00:13:02,523
May.
195
00:13:02,567 --> 00:13:06,266
Connor, if it's a boy.
May, if it's a girl.
196
00:13:08,921 --> 00:13:11,358
So weird.
197
00:13:11,402 --> 00:13:13,796
Family was always
an F-word to me.
198
00:13:15,319 --> 00:13:19,671
My pile of shit father
took off and bailed.
199
00:13:19,714 --> 00:13:21,934
I mean, it's not like I have
a lot of strong role models
200
00:13:21,978 --> 00:13:23,718
to draw off of for Todd.
201
00:13:24,894 --> 00:13:27,505
Hey. Look at me.
202
00:13:28,680 --> 00:13:30,813
You are not your father.
203
00:13:32,553 --> 00:13:33,990
Besides...
204
00:13:34,033 --> 00:13:38,777
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
205
00:13:39,778 --> 00:13:40,823
But here's the thing,
206
00:13:40,866 --> 00:13:42,694
isn't that how
it always works?
207
00:13:42,737 --> 00:13:44,261
Like in Star Wars,
208
00:13:44,304 --> 00:13:47,003
men are destined
to become their father...
209
00:13:47,046 --> 00:13:50,136
and then have consensual sex
with their sister?
210
00:13:50,180 --> 00:13:53,487
I think you missed
big, big chunks of that movie.
211
00:13:53,531 --> 00:13:55,794
No, I'm pretty sure
Luke nailed her.
212
00:13:55,838 --> 00:13:57,883
Baby, that's Empire.
213
00:13:57,927 --> 00:14:00,538
The point is, kids...
214
00:14:02,018 --> 00:14:04,672
they give us a chance
to be better than we are.
215
00:14:05,499 --> 00:14:08,154
Better than we used to be.
216
00:14:08,198 --> 00:14:10,722
You're a lot smarter
than I look.
217
00:14:11,766 --> 00:14:13,420
I'm gonna go make dessert.
218
00:14:13,464 --> 00:14:17,903
You get the strap-on.
Let's make a super baby.
219
00:14:17,947 --> 00:14:21,341
Pretty sure it doesn't work
that way, but we can try.
220
00:14:21,385 --> 00:14:24,910
What about Krystal?
But with a "K"?
221
00:14:24,954 --> 00:14:26,912
It's too stripper-y.
222
00:14:26,956 --> 00:14:28,479
Kevin with a "K"!
223
00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:30,611
No, too stripper-y, too.
224
00:14:31,177 --> 00:14:33,092
Uh, Earl!
225
00:14:33,136 --> 00:14:35,486
He's gonna go straight to jail
226
00:14:35,529 --> 00:14:37,749
if we name him Earl.
227
00:14:37,792 --> 00:14:39,664
What about Bruce?
228
00:14:40,665 --> 00:14:42,101
No.
229
00:14:42,145 --> 00:14:43,189
Get down.
230
00:14:43,233 --> 00:14:44,625
What?
231
00:15:13,524 --> 00:15:15,613
Baby? Baby?
232
00:15:18,877 --> 00:15:20,574
I'm okay.
233
00:15:20,618 --> 00:15:23,273
Thank God I didn't have to use
the cream cheese spreader.
234
00:15:57,872 --> 00:15:59,135
Please.
235
00:16:04,227 --> 00:16:06,055
Please. Please.
236
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:09,275
Baby, I'm so sorry.
237
00:16:09,319 --> 00:16:13,105
No!
238
00:19:17,637 --> 00:19:20,336
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
239
00:19:21,293 --> 00:19:23,077
Is it just me, or does
240
00:19:23,121 --> 00:19:24,707
Do You Want to Build
a Snowman? from Frozen...
241
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:26,037
sound suspiciously like
242
00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,039
Papa, Can You Hear Me?
from Yentl?
243
00:19:29,388 --> 00:19:31,521
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
244
00:19:33,305 --> 00:19:35,916
And nobody
fucking realizes it.
245
00:19:35,960 --> 00:19:37,527
Wade, you gotta go home.
246
00:19:37,570 --> 00:19:40,312
You've been sitting here
for three days, okay?
247
00:19:40,356 --> 00:19:44,055
You smell like sauerkraut
left in the warm rain.
248
00:19:44,098 --> 00:19:46,405
Like wet garbage
in hot urine.
249
00:19:46,449 --> 00:19:48,625
You smell like
a dog ate kitty litter...
250
00:19:48,668 --> 00:19:50,714
and then farted his way
out of the living room.
251
00:19:50,757 --> 00:19:52,585
I mean, like Rush Limbaugh's
252
00:19:52,629 --> 00:19:54,457
couch cushions
after Shark Week.
253
00:19:54,500 --> 00:19:56,241
I love Frozen.
254
00:19:56,285 --> 00:19:59,853
I loved her. I loved her
like an ocean loves water.
255
00:19:59,897 --> 00:20:01,420
An ocean is water.
256
00:20:01,464 --> 00:20:06,208
More importantly, I liked her.
I really liked her, you know?
257
00:20:06,251 --> 00:20:07,383
George Michael was right.
258
00:20:07,426 --> 00:20:09,254
I'm never gonna
dance again. Fuck!
259
00:20:09,863 --> 00:20:10,864
He's dead, too.
260
00:20:12,039 --> 00:20:13,389
At least we still have Bowie.
261
00:20:13,432 --> 00:20:15,173
Oh, Mr. Pool.
David Bowie is...
262
00:20:15,217 --> 00:20:16,479
Uh, uh, uh...
263
00:20:16,522 --> 00:20:17,697
still with us.
264
00:20:17,741 --> 00:20:20,613
We do.
We'll always have Bowie.
265
00:20:21,223 --> 00:20:22,267
I'm sorry.
266
00:20:22,311 --> 00:20:23,747
Shot after shot,
267
00:20:23,790 --> 00:20:25,638
it's not gonna change the fact
that I think you're...
268
00:20:25,662 --> 00:20:27,292
Are you pissing?
Are you urinating right now?
269
00:20:27,316 --> 00:20:30,232
You're making the face that
you make when you urinate.
270
00:20:30,275 --> 00:20:31,842
Is he pissing? I'm on it!
271
00:20:31,885 --> 00:20:33,365
There you go, Dopinder.
272
00:20:33,409 --> 00:20:35,454
If you want to be
a contract killer...
273
00:20:35,498 --> 00:20:38,065
you gotta handle a mop
before you handle a gun.
274
00:20:38,109 --> 00:20:39,173
Although I don't
quite understand
275
00:20:39,197 --> 00:20:40,764
how they are at all similar.
276
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,916
'Cause I could shove either
one up your ass and kill you.
277
00:20:42,940 --> 00:20:44,071
Now, leave me.
278
00:20:44,115 --> 00:20:45,116
I get it.
279
00:20:45,638 --> 00:20:47,249
Go home, Wade.
280
00:20:47,292 --> 00:20:49,642
I don't have a home,
Weas, you know. I got a...
281
00:20:51,078 --> 00:20:52,471
Okay, I'm fine.
282
00:20:52,515 --> 00:20:53,646
I'm fine.
283
00:20:53,690 --> 00:20:55,518
You know what "fine"
stands for, Wade?
284
00:20:55,561 --> 00:20:59,304
Fucked up, insecure,
needy, and emotional.
285
00:20:59,348 --> 00:21:00,566
According to the...
286
00:21:01,915 --> 00:21:03,352
Kubler-Ross.Yeah.
287
00:21:03,395 --> 00:21:05,267
According to
the Kubler-Ross model...
288
00:21:05,310 --> 00:21:08,095
denial is just one of
the five stages of grief.
289
00:21:08,139 --> 00:21:10,489
Jesus Christ, Buck!
290
00:21:10,533 --> 00:21:12,448
No more speaking lines
for you.
291
00:21:21,108 --> 00:21:23,459
Hey, bud. Bud.
292
00:21:23,502 --> 00:21:25,591
- Huh?
- Got a match?
293
00:21:25,635 --> 00:21:27,158
Match?
294
00:21:27,201 --> 00:21:28,681
Yes, I have one right here.
295
00:21:28,725 --> 00:21:30,093
Don't make a move.
This is a stick-up.
296
00:21:30,117 --> 00:21:31,858
- What?
- You heard me.
297
00:21:31,902 --> 00:21:33,947
Mister, Mister,
put down that gun.
298
00:21:33,991 --> 00:21:36,602
Shut up. Now, come on.
Your money or your life?
299
00:21:44,784 --> 00:21:48,527
Look, bud. I said,
"Your money or your life."
300
00:21:48,571 --> 00:21:49,876
"I'm thinking it over!"
301
00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:51,313
Motherfuck!
302
00:21:51,356 --> 00:21:52,401
Fuck!
303
00:21:55,404 --> 00:21:56,883
The hell you doin' here?
304
00:21:56,927 --> 00:21:59,016
Don't you know how to knock?
305
00:21:59,059 --> 00:22:00,974
I thought you saw me...
306
00:22:01,018 --> 00:22:02,541
with your ears.
307
00:22:02,585 --> 00:22:03,649
You're lucky I didn't
shoot you in the...
308
00:22:03,673 --> 00:22:04,717
The wall?
309
00:22:04,761 --> 00:22:08,155
The refrigerator?
I'm in so much pain.
310
00:22:10,941 --> 00:22:12,551
I heard the news,
sweetie.
311
00:22:12,595 --> 00:22:14,684
I'm very sorry. I am.
312
00:22:14,727 --> 00:22:16,642
What am I gonna do, Al?
313
00:22:16,686 --> 00:22:18,383
Probably something terrible.
314
00:22:19,558 --> 00:22:20,951
Knowing you.
315
00:22:20,994 --> 00:22:22,518
It was my fault.
316
00:22:23,736 --> 00:22:26,435
I fucking did this.
317
00:22:26,478 --> 00:22:28,350
And all I wanna do
is grab her and see her
318
00:22:28,393 --> 00:22:30,352
and tell her that I'm sorry,
and I can't.
319
00:22:32,354 --> 00:22:34,007
She's gone.
320
00:22:34,051 --> 00:22:37,837
Sweetheart,
can you speak up?
321
00:22:37,881 --> 00:22:39,143
It's a little hard
to hear you
322
00:22:39,186 --> 00:22:40,884
with that pity dick
in your mouth.
323
00:22:40,927 --> 00:22:43,974
Now, look, sugar.
You need to just keep living.
324
00:22:44,017 --> 00:22:45,323
Thank you...
325
00:22:45,367 --> 00:22:48,370
Matthew McConaughey,
your words are a treasure.
326
00:22:48,413 --> 00:22:50,459
Listen to the pain.
327
00:22:50,502 --> 00:22:53,287
It's both history teacher
and fortune teller.
328
00:22:53,331 --> 00:22:56,943
Pain teaches us
who we are, Wade.
329
00:22:56,987 --> 00:23:00,860
Sometimes, it's so bad,
we feel like we're dying.
330
00:23:00,904 --> 00:23:03,602
But we can't really live till
we've died a little, can we?
331
00:23:06,126 --> 00:23:07,345
Wade?
332
00:23:09,782 --> 00:23:11,958
Wade? I'm right here, Althea.
333
00:23:12,002 --> 00:23:14,613
And that is
the most beautiful thing
334
00:23:14,657 --> 00:23:15,875
I've ever heard.
335
00:23:16,615 --> 00:23:18,182
And you're absolutely right.
336
00:23:22,055 --> 00:23:24,406
I'm about to do
something terrible.
337
00:23:30,455 --> 00:23:31,717
Precious, aren't they?
338
00:23:32,544 --> 00:23:33,980
Whoa!
339
00:23:34,024 --> 00:23:35,460
Are you a superhero?
340
00:23:35,504 --> 00:23:37,201
Fucking A, sweetie.
341
00:23:37,244 --> 00:23:38,811
What's your name?
342
00:23:38,855 --> 00:23:40,639
Captain Delicious Pants.
343
00:23:40,683 --> 00:23:42,859
Who's Captain Delicious Pants?
344
00:24:08,232 --> 00:24:10,234
I can't believe
he's still alive.
345
00:24:10,277 --> 00:24:12,758
I can't believe you left
the house in that shirt.
346
00:24:14,238 --> 00:24:16,196
There's gotta be
some way to die.
347
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,285
I just need to die harder.
348
00:24:18,329 --> 00:24:19,548
Trademark Fox.
349
00:24:19,591 --> 00:24:20,592
Y'all caught up now?
350
00:24:33,866 --> 00:24:35,520
Open for business.
351
00:24:39,393 --> 00:24:41,526
Your crazy
matches my crazy.
352
00:24:41,570 --> 00:24:43,722
I will never, ever
let our child be named Todd.
353
00:24:43,746 --> 00:24:45,008
Skee-Ball token.
354
00:24:45,051 --> 00:24:46,331
You're a lot smarter
than I look.
355
00:24:52,232 --> 00:24:53,514
About why
we're so good together.
356
00:24:53,538 --> 00:24:54,733
I love you,
Wade Wilson.
357
00:24:57,368 --> 00:24:58,761
Ness?
358
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:01,372
Ness?
359
00:25:02,199 --> 00:25:03,766
Ness.
360
00:25:03,809 --> 00:25:06,508
Ness, there's something here.
I can't get to you.
361
00:25:08,205 --> 00:25:10,729
Your heart's not
in the right place.
362
00:25:10,773 --> 00:25:13,427
Wait, hold on. What?
363
00:25:13,471 --> 00:25:15,560
Your heart's not
in the right place.
364
00:25:15,604 --> 00:25:16,996
Wait. What do you mean
365
00:25:17,040 --> 00:25:19,000
my heart's not in the right
place? What does it...
366
00:25:38,235 --> 00:25:40,759
I'm terribly sorry
for your loss, Wade.
367
00:25:41,238 --> 00:25:42,369
You're broken.
368
00:25:42,413 --> 00:25:45,372
Oh, God.
I know that voice.
369
00:26:06,437 --> 00:26:07,873
Well, Russell.
370
00:26:07,917 --> 00:26:10,572
I hear you're handy
at picking locks.
371
00:26:11,964 --> 00:26:14,184
There will be no need
for that here.
372
00:26:14,227 --> 00:26:17,535
There's no locks on our doors,
no bars on our windows.
373
00:26:18,884 --> 00:26:20,930
I know what you're thinking.
374
00:26:20,973 --> 00:26:23,628
Why don't the kids just run?
375
00:26:23,672 --> 00:26:26,631
Who would choose to stay
in such a place?
376
00:26:26,675 --> 00:26:29,155
You stay because...
377
00:26:29,199 --> 00:26:33,943
deep down inside, you know
you're unfit to leave.
378
00:26:37,729 --> 00:26:39,339
Don't worry.
379
00:26:40,514 --> 00:26:42,168
We can fix that.
380
00:26:46,999 --> 00:26:50,742
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand.
381
00:27:12,721 --> 00:27:14,418
"Heart's in the right place."
382
00:27:14,461 --> 00:27:15,917
"Heart's in the right..."
What does that mean?
383
00:27:15,941 --> 00:27:17,856
Take your mask off, Wade.
384
00:27:17,900 --> 00:27:19,597
I wish you'd said "pants".
385
00:27:19,641 --> 00:27:20,859
Let's play a game.
386
00:27:20,903 --> 00:27:23,427
It's called
"Adrien Brody or Adam Brody?".
387
00:27:23,470 --> 00:27:25,821
Now, close your eyes
and open your mouth.
388
00:27:25,864 --> 00:27:27,692
You don't need
to be funny here.
389
00:27:28,301 --> 00:27:29,563
We must talk.
390
00:27:29,607 --> 00:27:32,088
You need fresh start.
391
00:27:32,131 --> 00:27:33,698
Such a glare.
392
00:27:33,742 --> 00:27:36,005
It's like I'm on stage
at the Gaiety.
393
00:27:36,048 --> 00:27:38,660
With training,
you can be X-Man.
394
00:27:38,703 --> 00:27:40,792
You're wasting your time,
Shiny Jesus.
395
00:27:40,836 --> 00:27:42,141
I'm not X-Man material.
396
00:27:42,185 --> 00:27:43,752
Understatement of the year.
397
00:27:44,230 --> 00:27:45,231
Wade, Yukio.
398
00:27:45,710 --> 00:27:47,625
Yukio, Wade.
399
00:27:47,669 --> 00:27:49,758
What in the fuck knuckles
is this?
400
00:27:49,801 --> 00:27:52,456
She's my girlfriend,
you intolerant shit.
401
00:27:52,499 --> 00:27:54,327
Whoa! Pump the hate brakes,
Fox & Friends.
402
00:27:54,371 --> 00:27:56,242
I'm just surprised
anyone would date you.
403
00:27:56,286 --> 00:27:58,897
Especially Pinkie Pie
from My Little Pony.
404
00:27:58,941 --> 00:28:00,769
I like this guy.
405
00:28:00,812 --> 00:28:02,901
Give him a chance.
406
00:28:02,945 --> 00:28:04,052
It's great seeing you
like this.
407
00:28:04,076 --> 00:28:06,252
Yeah.
408
00:28:06,731 --> 00:28:08,037
Bye, Wade!
409
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,561
Now, some ground rules
while under our roof.
410
00:28:10,604 --> 00:28:13,390
"Rule number one.
No killing...
411
00:28:13,433 --> 00:28:16,872
"anyone ever,
no matter how bad.
412
00:28:16,915 --> 00:28:19,570
"Rule two. Label everything
in refrigerator."
413
00:28:19,613 --> 00:28:20,614
Wade?
414
00:28:21,485 --> 00:28:22,747
Wade?
415
00:28:22,791 --> 00:28:24,618
Don't try to chase me. Wade!
416
00:28:24,662 --> 00:28:26,751
I'm not ready
to be touched again.
417
00:28:26,795 --> 00:28:29,014
All these old guys
on the wall.
418
00:28:29,058 --> 00:28:31,147
Who lives here,
Calista Flockhart?
419
00:28:33,453 --> 00:28:36,369
Those were already damaged
after they fell there!
420
00:28:36,413 --> 00:28:38,284
What am I supposed
to do around here, anyway?
421
00:28:38,328 --> 00:28:40,591
Sit in a share circle,
talk about my feelings?
422
00:28:40,634 --> 00:28:43,507
And how would I
do that exactly?
423
00:28:43,550 --> 00:28:45,988
'Cause where the fuck
is everyone?
424
00:28:46,031 --> 00:28:47,250
It's always just you
425
00:28:47,293 --> 00:28:48,618
and Negasonic Teenage
Longest Name Ever...
426
00:28:48,642 --> 00:28:49,861
Enough!
427
00:28:49,905 --> 00:28:51,733
I said no touching!
428
00:28:53,517 --> 00:28:56,781
What the fuck?
429
00:28:56,825 --> 00:28:59,001
You'd think the studio
would throw us a bone.
430
00:28:59,044 --> 00:29:01,873
One that doesn't end up
in my mouth.
431
00:29:01,917 --> 00:29:03,111
The first movie
made more money
432
00:29:03,135 --> 00:29:05,485
than the guy
who invented pants.
433
00:29:05,529 --> 00:29:07,705
They can't just dust off
one of the famous X-Men?
434
00:29:07,749 --> 00:29:09,838
How 'bout that putz
with the giant pigeon wings?
435
00:29:09,881 --> 00:29:11,187
What do those do anyway, huh?
436
00:29:11,230 --> 00:29:12,710
Carry him
three feet off the ground
437
00:29:12,754 --> 00:29:14,799
to snatch up
the nearest muffin crumb?
438
00:29:14,843 --> 00:29:17,019
No, no, no!
439
00:29:17,062 --> 00:29:19,804
I am not X-Man material
at all.
440
00:29:19,848 --> 00:29:22,502
First off...
441
00:29:22,546 --> 00:29:24,591
I'm not even a virgin.
Second and more...
442
00:29:26,811 --> 00:29:27,856
I should have left you
443
00:29:27,899 --> 00:29:29,640
in the self-pitying mess
I found you in.
444
00:29:29,683 --> 00:29:32,774
But this is what friends do.
They show up!
445
00:29:32,817 --> 00:29:34,819
Not when convenient or easy.
446
00:29:34,863 --> 00:29:39,171
When hard,
and you always make it hard.
447
00:29:39,215 --> 00:29:41,695
You are unwell.
448
00:29:41,739 --> 00:29:43,828
I'm sticking my neck out
bringing you here.
449
00:29:43,872 --> 00:29:45,787
Wait.
One of the assholes
450
00:29:45,830 --> 00:29:47,310
who killed Vanessa got away.
451
00:29:49,878 --> 00:29:52,054
Oh, Jesus Christ!
452
00:29:52,097 --> 00:29:53,988
I thought you were gonna
kiss me for a second there.
453
00:29:54,012 --> 00:29:55,947
Please know I wouldn't be
able to stop you if you did.
454
00:29:55,971 --> 00:29:58,016
Wade, whoever they are...
455
00:29:58,060 --> 00:30:00,410
we track them down
and bring them to justice.
456
00:30:00,976 --> 00:30:02,412
It was me.
457
00:30:05,241 --> 00:30:07,896
I'm the asshole who got away.
458
00:30:07,939 --> 00:30:11,073
I killed every last one
of them, except me.
459
00:30:11,116 --> 00:30:12,814
Couldn't kill me.
460
00:30:15,947 --> 00:30:17,949
We were gonna start a family.
461
00:30:19,777 --> 00:30:21,735
We were, uh...
462
00:30:22,954 --> 00:30:24,695
We were gonna be a family.
463
00:30:25,478 --> 00:30:26,610
Wade...
464
00:30:26,653 --> 00:30:29,439
Vanessa is gone.
She's not coming back.
465
00:30:31,006 --> 00:30:33,356
This may not be
family you want...
466
00:30:33,399 --> 00:30:35,837
but it's family you need.
467
00:30:35,880 --> 00:30:37,142
You have a good heart.
468
00:30:37,186 --> 00:30:38,752
It belongs here
where it can grow.
469
00:30:40,537 --> 00:30:41,538
What did you say?
470
00:30:43,583 --> 00:30:44,889
About my heart?
471
00:30:50,329 --> 00:30:52,331
I think
I'm in the right place.
472
00:32:00,138 --> 00:32:02,967
I'mma tell you
what the big lie is.
473
00:32:03,011 --> 00:32:04,621
Toilet paper.
474
00:32:04,664 --> 00:32:06,057
What's so bad
about toilet paper?
475
00:32:06,101 --> 00:32:07,319
Gets the job done.
476
00:32:07,363 --> 00:32:10,235
Does it really
get the job done?
477
00:32:10,279 --> 00:32:12,498
All right. Say you wake up
tomorrow morning...
478
00:32:12,542 --> 00:32:17,242
and, hypothetically, find some
fresh shit on your face.
479
00:32:17,286 --> 00:32:19,003
Your cheek, maybe
a little bit in the beard.
480
00:32:19,027 --> 00:32:20,743
What the hell?
I'm about to be fucking sick!
481
00:32:20,767 --> 00:32:21,855
What do you do?
482
00:32:21,899 --> 00:32:23,205
Do you go to a bathroom
483
00:32:23,248 --> 00:32:24,946
and tear off
a piece of dry tissue...
484
00:32:24,989 --> 00:32:26,860
and rub it around
on your beard a little bit
485
00:32:26,904 --> 00:32:28,471
and then go on,
get on with your day?
486
00:32:28,514 --> 00:32:30,125
Go to church,
maybe dinner and a movie,
487
00:32:30,168 --> 00:32:31,300
like nothing happened?
488
00:32:31,343 --> 00:32:32,736
Where is this
coming from, man?
489
00:32:32,779 --> 00:32:33,998
But something did happen.
490
00:32:34,042 --> 00:32:35,521
Your face smells like shit.
Right?
491
00:32:35,565 --> 00:32:37,132
So what you would do,
492
00:32:37,175 --> 00:32:39,438
is you would get some soap,
you'd get some hot water...
493
00:32:39,482 --> 00:32:41,832
and you would scrub
the fucking shit
494
00:32:41,875 --> 00:32:43,877
out of your beard
for 10 straight minutes.
495
00:32:43,921 --> 00:32:45,618
You could not
scrub it enough.
496
00:32:45,662 --> 00:32:47,316
Are you trying
to make me feel disgusting?
497
00:32:47,359 --> 00:32:48,578
I'm starting to feel...
498
00:32:48,621 --> 00:32:51,320
Toilet paper is
a pretty fine appetizer.
499
00:32:51,363 --> 00:32:53,670
But, then...
500
00:32:53,713 --> 00:32:56,020
Huggies Natural Care
wet wipes.
501
00:32:56,064 --> 00:32:57,456
That's your main course.
502
00:32:57,500 --> 00:33:01,417
They're soft, they're moist.
They're for babies.
503
00:33:01,460 --> 00:33:04,246
Finally, one more pass
with toilet paper,
504
00:33:04,289 --> 00:33:06,204
maybe clear out
that excess moisture.
505
00:33:06,248 --> 00:33:07,901
Maybe treat yourself
to a blow and go,
506
00:33:07,945 --> 00:33:09,251
if you can get you
a hair dryer.
507
00:33:09,294 --> 00:33:11,644
Just about 30 seconds
would do you good.
508
00:33:15,344 --> 00:33:16,345
The fuck?
509
00:33:17,607 --> 00:33:18,651
Year.
510
00:33:19,652 --> 00:33:20,653
What?
511
00:33:21,872 --> 00:33:23,526
What year is it?
512
00:33:23,569 --> 00:33:26,007
What kind of dumbass question
is that to ask?
513
00:33:56,776 --> 00:33:59,562
We have 8 weeks of
boot camp ahead of us, men.
514
00:33:59,605 --> 00:34:00,954
That'll get us
toned and prepared
515
00:34:00,998 --> 00:34:02,565
for all manner of combat.
516
00:34:04,654 --> 00:34:08,875
Not working out at all.
517
00:34:08,919 --> 00:34:10,573
Masking tape.
518
00:34:10,616 --> 00:34:12,966
It is no friend
to chilled aluminum.
519
00:34:14,055 --> 00:34:16,057
Velcro.
Color-coded, efficient,
520
00:34:16,100 --> 00:34:17,145
environmentally friendly.
521
00:34:17,928 --> 00:34:19,495
Who is he talking to?
522
00:34:19,538 --> 00:34:21,212
And why is he dressed like
a registered sex offender?
523
00:34:21,236 --> 00:34:23,238
Can we focus
for a moment, ladies?
524
00:34:23,281 --> 00:34:25,588
Please, we need to talk about
next month's meal plan.
525
00:34:25,631 --> 00:34:27,416
Obviously,
everyone hated the ceviche.
526
00:34:27,459 --> 00:34:28,808
I read the suggestion box.
527
00:34:28,852 --> 00:34:30,462
I'm gonna stop you
right there.
528
00:34:30,506 --> 00:34:32,508
I see through this weak act.
529
00:34:32,551 --> 00:34:36,903
You may have fooled Colossus
with this nice guy shit...
530
00:34:36,947 --> 00:34:38,122
but not me.
531
00:34:38,166 --> 00:34:39,254
Don't be mean.
532
00:34:39,297 --> 00:34:40,646
Back off, NTW.
533
00:34:40,690 --> 00:34:42,909
No, no, no. Let her go.
534
00:34:42,953 --> 00:34:44,128
Let her go, it's okay.
535
00:34:44,172 --> 00:34:45,738
She has a right
to be skeptical.
536
00:34:45,782 --> 00:34:48,393
Look at me.
I'm an easy target.
537
00:34:49,568 --> 00:34:50,961
You know, historically,
538
00:34:51,004 --> 00:34:52,919
mischief has been
my mistress...
539
00:34:52,963 --> 00:34:55,618
so I understand, you know.
But I like to think...
540
00:34:57,228 --> 00:35:00,536
that you guys have
really rubbed off on me.
541
00:35:00,579 --> 00:35:02,659
I like to think that I've
rubbed off around you, too.
542
00:35:04,627 --> 00:35:06,585
A lot.
543
00:35:06,629 --> 00:35:09,284
And for the first time
in a long while...
544
00:35:09,327 --> 00:35:10,502
I like me.
545
00:35:12,722 --> 00:35:15,246
I accept your apology. I never apologized.
546
00:35:15,290 --> 00:35:16,856
I was talking to your heart.
547
00:35:16,900 --> 00:35:19,294
See? You're not
lost cause you thought.
548
00:35:19,337 --> 00:35:22,558
I'm proud. You're everything
I knew you can be.
549
00:35:22,601 --> 00:35:24,603
Thank you, Colossus.
550
00:35:24,647 --> 00:35:26,257
Just trying to be
the world's best X-Man.
551
00:35:26,301 --> 00:35:27,737
Sorry, X-Person.
552
00:35:29,304 --> 00:35:32,002
Hmm. Something wrong
with the soap.
553
00:35:32,045 --> 00:35:33,656
It's fine.
554
00:35:33,699 --> 00:35:35,919
I just filled it. Give it
a few more pumps there.
555
00:35:37,138 --> 00:35:39,618
Now, if you'll excuse me...
556
00:35:39,662 --> 00:35:41,446
it's dust bunny season...
557
00:35:41,490 --> 00:35:42,491
and I'm hunting wabbits.
558
00:35:43,231 --> 00:35:44,319
Bye, Wade!
559
00:35:46,495 --> 00:35:49,062
Fuck.
Fuck you.
560
00:36:00,726 --> 00:36:03,294
No one is born perfect.
561
00:36:03,338 --> 00:36:05,340
But you can be.
562
00:36:05,383 --> 00:36:07,733
I know you're doing
what comes naturally.
563
00:36:12,042 --> 00:36:13,870
You can't help yourself.
564
00:36:17,743 --> 00:36:19,832
But you can.
565
00:36:19,876 --> 00:36:22,966
It takes work, discipline...
566
00:36:23,009 --> 00:36:24,228
and treatment.
567
00:36:24,272 --> 00:36:25,969
Your abilities...
568
00:36:27,927 --> 00:36:30,713
I know how seductive they are.
569
00:36:30,756 --> 00:36:33,890
How powerful
they make you feel.
570
00:36:33,933 --> 00:36:36,458
But you must learn
never to use them...
571
00:36:36,501 --> 00:36:39,112
so they will never use you.
572
00:36:45,336 --> 00:36:46,946
Please don't cry.
573
00:36:47,773 --> 00:36:49,384
I'm going to help.
574
00:36:49,427 --> 00:36:52,604
I'm gonna make you feel
what you should feel.
575
00:36:52,648 --> 00:36:55,172
How you need to feel...
576
00:36:55,216 --> 00:36:58,567
every time you're tempted
to act upon your urges.
577
00:36:58,610 --> 00:37:02,527
Suck my mutant dick,
you four-eyed fuck.
578
00:37:16,933 --> 00:37:18,151
Wade.
579
00:37:19,152 --> 00:37:20,719
Wade!
580
00:37:20,763 --> 00:37:22,852
Come in!
Hey, I was just doing
581
00:37:22,895 --> 00:37:24,810
a little bit
of light reading here...
582
00:37:24,854 --> 00:37:26,290
We have mission.
583
00:37:26,334 --> 00:37:27,857
Well, you guys be
safe out there.
584
00:37:27,900 --> 00:37:29,162
I'll be praying for you.
585
00:37:29,206 --> 00:37:31,600
No, I want you to join.
586
00:37:32,818 --> 00:37:33,993
I'm sorry, what?
587
00:37:34,037 --> 00:37:35,647
You heard me.
588
00:37:35,691 --> 00:37:38,084
Trust me,
that's a terrible idea.
589
00:37:38,128 --> 00:37:39,216
I'm really not ready.
590
00:37:39,260 --> 00:37:40,957
You are ready. I'm not.
591
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:42,872
Be at the X-Jet in five.
592
00:37:42,915 --> 00:37:44,090
I can do thirty.
593
00:37:44,134 --> 00:37:46,092
Now. I can do now.
594
00:37:46,136 --> 00:37:47,355
Final offer.
595
00:37:47,398 --> 00:37:49,966
Irene Merryweather, WHIT News.
596
00:37:50,009 --> 00:37:52,011
Live here
at a breaking news situation
597
00:37:52,055 --> 00:37:54,710
at the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation.
598
00:37:54,753 --> 00:37:56,712
A mutant boy
is appearing to have
599
00:37:56,755 --> 00:37:58,235
some sort of an incident...
600
00:37:58,279 --> 00:37:59,778
- with police here behind me.
- Get away from me!
601
00:37:59,802 --> 00:38:02,239
There are two police vehicles
that are overturned.
602
00:38:02,283 --> 00:38:03,738
There are open fires. Fuck off! Stay back!
603
00:38:03,762 --> 00:38:04,826
A scene of
absolute chaos here.
604
00:38:04,850 --> 00:38:05,982
Calm down.
605
00:38:06,025 --> 00:38:08,637
I'll burn you!
You stay back!
606
00:38:09,377 --> 00:38:11,161
Get away from me!
607
00:38:11,204 --> 00:38:13,685
You wanna fucking die?
608
00:38:28,700 --> 00:38:31,921
And it appears as if the X-Men
are arriving...
609
00:38:31,964 --> 00:38:33,488
Scatter!
610
00:38:33,531 --> 00:38:35,533
...with what appears
to be a trainee.
611
00:38:35,577 --> 00:38:38,580
Everyone, calm down!
The pros are here. I...
612
00:38:38,623 --> 00:38:39,798
We're the X-Men!
613
00:38:39,842 --> 00:38:42,366
A dated metaphor for racism
in the '60s.
614
00:38:42,410 --> 00:38:44,934
So, respect.
615
00:38:44,977 --> 00:38:46,239
At ease, Officer.
616
00:38:47,806 --> 00:38:49,330
What are you doing?
617
00:38:49,808 --> 00:38:51,114
My job!
618
00:38:51,157 --> 00:38:52,557
You're the one who said
I was ready,
619
00:38:52,594 --> 00:38:54,117
and I frankly disagreed
with you.
620
00:38:54,160 --> 00:38:56,554
But here we are, trying to
overcome our differences.
621
00:38:56,598 --> 00:38:59,035
Like Beyonce says, "Please...
622
00:38:59,862 --> 00:39:01,254
"Please, stop cheating on me."
623
00:39:01,298 --> 00:39:02,386
Hey!
624
00:39:02,430 --> 00:39:03,822
This is the fifth incident.
625
00:39:03,866 --> 00:39:06,085
This kid needs to be
in the Ice Box, not here.
626
00:39:06,129 --> 00:39:07,783
Russell belongs in our care.
627
00:39:07,826 --> 00:39:09,611
Not in prison.
I assure you...
628
00:39:09,654 --> 00:39:10,805
we have everything
under control.
629
00:39:10,829 --> 00:39:11,937
Stay back!
I'll burn you!
630
00:39:11,961 --> 00:39:13,179
Not getting a real
631
00:39:13,223 --> 00:39:15,312
"under control"
vibe here, Marty.
632
00:39:15,356 --> 00:39:17,401
It is Glen, isn't it? Daniel.
633
00:39:17,445 --> 00:39:18,663
I'll ask the questions,
Miguel.
634
00:39:18,707 --> 00:39:20,056
Let me talk to the kid.
635
00:39:20,099 --> 00:39:24,930
You stay here with your weird,
secret sex lips.
636
00:39:26,671 --> 00:39:27,716
You wanna die?
637
00:39:27,759 --> 00:39:28,954
This kid's adorable.
638
00:39:28,978 --> 00:39:29,998
I don't know why I packed
the hollow points.
639
00:39:30,022 --> 00:39:31,197
I'll burn your balls off!
640
00:39:31,241 --> 00:39:34,592
First day.
I'm so nervous!
641
00:39:34,636 --> 00:39:36,202
Did you just say
"hollow points"?
642
00:39:36,246 --> 00:39:37,595
Yeah, probably should've
643
00:39:37,639 --> 00:39:39,684
brought a Super Soaker.
644
00:39:40,250 --> 00:39:41,251
Hi, there!
645
00:39:42,513 --> 00:39:45,037
Stay back
or Justin Bieber dies!
646
00:39:45,081 --> 00:39:48,563
Justin Bieber.
He called you Justin Bieber.
647
00:39:49,955 --> 00:39:51,629
Hold on! Wait, wait, wait!
648
00:39:51,653 --> 00:39:54,786
Okay, let's not do
whatever that is.
649
00:39:54,830 --> 00:39:56,353
Okay? Let's just talk!
650
00:39:56,397 --> 00:39:58,007
It's Russell, right?
651
00:39:58,050 --> 00:40:00,313
Firefist.Firefist.
652
00:40:00,357 --> 00:40:02,577
Ooh, that's a great name.
Where does it burn?
653
00:40:02,620 --> 00:40:04,420
Just the fist, or all the way
up to the elbow?
654
00:40:09,105 --> 00:40:11,760
Definitely all
the way up to the elbow.
655
00:40:11,803 --> 00:40:14,632
Come quietly,
or there will be trouble.
656
00:40:14,676 --> 00:40:17,461
You stole that from Robocop!
That's from Robocop!
657
00:40:17,505 --> 00:40:19,158
Just stand down!
658
00:40:19,202 --> 00:40:21,291
You're embarrassing me.
Look, Fire...
659
00:40:22,640 --> 00:40:25,164
Oh, my God! I can't say it!
I'm so sorry!
660
00:40:29,691 --> 00:40:33,695
Oh, shit!
That fucking does it!
661
00:40:33,738 --> 00:40:35,131
Put your hands
behind your knees
662
00:40:35,174 --> 00:40:36,654
and get down
on your head! Now!
663
00:40:36,698 --> 00:40:38,961
Wade! What was first rule?
664
00:40:39,004 --> 00:40:40,963
Label everything
in the refrigerator!
665
00:40:41,006 --> 00:40:43,618
Do not escalate!
Rules are meant to be broken!
666
00:40:43,661 --> 00:40:45,097
That's the exact opposite
667
00:40:45,141 --> 00:40:46,490
of what they're meant for!
668
00:40:47,535 --> 00:40:49,493
Fuck! Fine!
669
00:40:49,537 --> 00:40:51,147
I'll start from the beginning.
670
00:40:51,190 --> 00:40:53,541
My name is Deadpool,
and I'm an X-Man.
671
00:40:53,584 --> 00:40:55,543
Trainee! Shut it!
672
00:40:56,500 --> 00:40:58,763
Look, I get it.
673
00:40:59,938 --> 00:41:01,549
All right, you're scared.
674
00:41:02,114 --> 00:41:03,202
Alone.
675
00:41:03,246 --> 00:41:04,334
You got no family.
676
00:41:04,377 --> 00:41:05,442
I didn't have
a family, either.
677
00:41:05,466 --> 00:41:07,206
You live in this dump.
Guess what?
678
00:41:07,250 --> 00:41:08,947
I used to live in a shithole
just like it.
679
00:41:09,861 --> 00:41:11,210
But you know something?
680
00:41:11,254 --> 00:41:12,995
A wise woman
once said to me...
681
00:41:13,038 --> 00:41:14,518
"Speak up."
682
00:41:14,562 --> 00:41:17,390
"I can't hear you with that
pity dick in your mouth."
683
00:41:17,434 --> 00:41:19,044
Too much? I went too far.
684
00:41:27,009 --> 00:41:28,532
That was effervescent.
685
00:41:28,576 --> 00:41:30,839
Stay in school, kid.
686
00:41:30,882 --> 00:41:32,710
Or don't. I didn't.
687
00:41:32,754 --> 00:41:34,364
And I'm an X-Man.
688
00:41:34,407 --> 00:41:35,539
Trainee.
689
00:41:35,583 --> 00:41:36,932
Fuck it!
690
00:41:36,975 --> 00:41:38,716
Superhero landing coming up!
691
00:41:42,328 --> 00:41:43,982
Ah, fuck, fuck, fuck!
692
00:41:44,026 --> 00:41:46,115
That is so not practical.
693
00:42:06,614 --> 00:42:08,746
I could get used
to this X-Man shit.
694
00:42:08,790 --> 00:42:09,941
Trainee!
695
00:42:09,965 --> 00:42:11,183
Trainee!
696
00:42:11,227 --> 00:42:13,011
Get a power restraint
on him. Now!
697
00:42:13,055 --> 00:42:16,275
Calm down, squirt.
It's over. We got ya.
698
00:42:18,147 --> 00:42:19,670
What's that do?
699
00:42:19,714 --> 00:42:21,237
Power-dampening collar.
700
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:22,586
Shuts down
all mutant abilities.
701
00:42:22,630 --> 00:42:25,458
You can't get it off.
Unless you've got a grenade.
702
00:42:25,502 --> 00:42:28,505
Huh. Could've used
one of those in the first act.
703
00:42:28,549 --> 00:42:29,767
Thank you!
704
00:42:31,639 --> 00:42:33,858
That was absolutely thrilling.
705
00:42:33,902 --> 00:42:36,121
True heroism in action.
706
00:42:36,165 --> 00:42:37,819
We are in your debt.
707
00:42:38,646 --> 00:42:40,299
We can take it from here.
708
00:42:40,343 --> 00:42:42,563
Take me
to the Ice Box, please!
709
00:42:42,606 --> 00:42:43,781
Anywhere's better than here.
710
00:42:43,825 --> 00:42:45,087
Believe me, son,
711
00:42:45,130 --> 00:42:46,871
you do not wanna go
to the Ice Box.
712
00:42:46,915 --> 00:42:49,526
That place makes Hitler's anus
look like Waikiki.
713
00:42:49,570 --> 00:42:51,441
Let's get you inside,
young man.
714
00:42:51,484 --> 00:42:53,486
No, wait, wait. Wait.
715
00:42:53,530 --> 00:42:55,010
You guys stay there.
716
00:43:05,107 --> 00:43:06,717
Those guys hurt you?
717
00:43:08,153 --> 00:43:09,198
Who?
718
00:43:11,243 --> 00:43:13,942
Baldilocks? Jared Kushner?
719
00:43:15,421 --> 00:43:16,901
Both of 'em?
720
00:43:20,644 --> 00:43:22,341
Oh, fuck it.
721
00:43:22,385 --> 00:43:23,952
Four or five moments!
722
00:43:23,995 --> 00:43:25,040
I'm sorry?
723
00:43:25,083 --> 00:43:28,260
Four or five moments!
724
00:43:29,522 --> 00:43:32,264
That's all it takes
to be a hero.
725
00:43:33,309 --> 00:43:35,616
People think
you wake up a hero...
726
00:43:35,659 --> 00:43:37,792
brush your teeth a hero...
727
00:43:37,835 --> 00:43:40,751
ejaculate into
a soap dispenser a hero.
728
00:43:42,187 --> 00:43:45,887
But, no, being a hero
takes only a few moments!
729
00:43:47,236 --> 00:43:48,890
A few moments...
730
00:43:48,933 --> 00:43:51,632
doing the ugly stuff
no one else will do.
731
00:43:55,113 --> 00:43:56,245
No!
732
00:43:58,900 --> 00:44:00,181
Stand down!
Hold your fire!
733
00:44:00,205 --> 00:44:02,555
Wade, what did you do? Colossus, no!
734
00:44:02,599 --> 00:44:05,863
You were right, Wade.
You are not X-Men material.
735
00:44:05,907 --> 00:44:08,213
No shit, Shiny Gandhi!
736
00:44:08,257 --> 00:44:09,737
What was your first clue?
737
00:44:09,780 --> 00:44:12,914
The hollow point
through that fuckhead's face?
738
00:44:12,957 --> 00:44:14,263
That kid was abused!
739
00:44:14,306 --> 00:44:16,352
- You can always tell!
- We have rules!
740
00:44:16,395 --> 00:44:19,137
You are not judge,
jury or executioner!
741
00:44:19,181 --> 00:44:22,140
Fuck your rules!
I fight for what's right!
742
00:44:22,184 --> 00:44:24,012
And sometimes
you gotta fight dirty!
743
00:44:24,055 --> 00:44:27,102
You let me down
for the last time, Wade.
744
00:44:30,235 --> 00:44:32,542
Okay,
get these guys in the pod.
745
00:44:32,585 --> 00:44:34,762
Take them to the Ice Box.
746
00:44:55,391 --> 00:44:56,392
Hey, baby!
747
00:44:57,480 --> 00:44:59,743
I wonder what gang
I'll be in.
748
00:44:59,787 --> 00:45:01,266
Yeah!
749
00:45:01,310 --> 00:45:03,573
- Is there, like, a Sorting Hat?
- Hi.
750
00:45:05,444 --> 00:45:06,837
I've always seen myself as
751
00:45:06,881 --> 00:45:08,273
more of
an East Coast Hufflepuff.
752
00:45:09,797 --> 00:45:12,756
I've made a critical error
on my Airbnb reservation.
753
00:45:12,800 --> 00:45:16,673
This is not what the website
looked like at all.
754
00:45:18,240 --> 00:45:19,981
I love the decor though.
755
00:45:20,024 --> 00:45:21,983
I had no idea
hopeless was a color.
756
00:45:22,026 --> 00:45:23,288
Hard left, douchebag.
757
00:45:27,815 --> 00:45:29,033
Please, after you.
758
00:45:31,166 --> 00:45:33,864
Another disgusting minority
off the streets.
759
00:45:33,908 --> 00:45:35,039
We'll sleep well tonight.
760
00:45:35,083 --> 00:45:36,127
Let's get a bagel.
761
00:45:39,391 --> 00:45:42,220
Nighty-night,
you annoying prick!
762
00:46:17,995 --> 00:46:19,886
You're a long way
from your superpowers.
763
00:46:19,910 --> 00:46:22,347
Yeah. Just a touch of cancer.
764
00:46:22,391 --> 00:46:24,872
Not to worry,
we're old friends.
765
00:46:24,915 --> 00:46:26,134
Fuck!
766
00:46:26,177 --> 00:46:28,353
I wanted to be a superhero.
767
00:46:28,397 --> 00:46:30,355
Always wanted
a real super suit.
768
00:46:30,399 --> 00:46:31,966
What happened?
769
00:46:32,009 --> 00:46:34,129
When was the last time you saw
a plus-sized superhero?
770
00:46:34,795 --> 00:46:36,274
Never.
771
00:46:36,318 --> 00:46:38,102
The industry discriminates.
772
00:46:39,190 --> 00:46:41,279
Fuck superheroes.
773
00:46:41,323 --> 00:46:43,586
The thing that
pisses me off the most...
774
00:46:43,629 --> 00:46:45,457
I never stood up
for myself in there.
775
00:46:47,068 --> 00:46:49,984
My whole life.
776
00:46:50,027 --> 00:46:53,509
I've been waiting for someone
to come and save me.
777
00:46:55,903 --> 00:46:58,862
Nobody's gonna sacrifice
anything for me.
778
00:47:02,997 --> 00:47:05,260
I gotta start taking care
of myself.
779
00:47:06,609 --> 00:47:09,351
I have a mission now.
780
00:47:09,394 --> 00:47:12,049
The first thing I wanna do
when I get out of here...
781
00:47:12,093 --> 00:47:14,443
burn the headmaster alive...
782
00:47:14,486 --> 00:47:18,186
and then take a selfie
with his smoldering corpse.
783
00:47:18,229 --> 00:47:20,666
Aw. That's, like,
my favorite part of the Bible.
784
00:47:22,407 --> 00:47:24,888
I don't have
a sock puppet on me...
785
00:47:24,932 --> 00:47:26,977
but what did he do to you?
786
00:47:27,021 --> 00:47:28,631
Did he taste the rainbow?
787
00:47:28,674 --> 00:47:30,720
I'd whisper it,
but Skittles would sue us.
788
00:47:31,895 --> 00:47:33,897
Fucker hates mutants.
789
00:47:33,941 --> 00:47:35,899
He tried to beat
the genes out of us.
790
00:47:35,943 --> 00:47:38,467
Nothing worse than
a "pray the gay away" type guy.
791
00:47:39,250 --> 00:47:40,643
Sick piece of shit.
792
00:47:42,036 --> 00:47:45,735
Tomorrow, we'll find
the biggest guy in here...
793
00:47:46,692 --> 00:47:48,390
and we'll make him our bitch!
794
00:47:52,307 --> 00:47:53,656
What was that?
795
00:47:53,699 --> 00:47:56,267
That is the biggest guy
in here.
796
00:47:56,311 --> 00:47:58,400
Fun fact about the Ice Box...
797
00:47:58,443 --> 00:48:00,271
though no one's ever seen it,
798
00:48:00,315 --> 00:48:02,534
they keep a monster
in the basement.
799
00:48:02,578 --> 00:48:04,319
Right next to a huge,
800
00:48:04,362 --> 00:48:05,886
steaming bowl
of foreshadowing.
801
00:48:06,538 --> 00:48:07,539
Look.
802
00:48:08,540 --> 00:48:10,803
I can't protect you.
803
00:48:10,847 --> 00:48:11,979
With this collar on,
804
00:48:12,022 --> 00:48:15,156
my superpower
is just unbridled cancer.
805
00:48:15,199 --> 00:48:18,681
Give me a bow and arrow,
I'm basically Hawkeye.
806
00:48:18,724 --> 00:48:20,813
Now, if you'll excuse me...
807
00:48:20,857 --> 00:48:24,034
I've got tumors to grow.
Vanessa awaits.
808
00:48:24,078 --> 00:48:26,558
I'll start by making us
a shank.
809
00:48:26,602 --> 00:48:28,517
Good listening. I stole that guard's pen...
810
00:48:28,560 --> 00:48:30,519
and stashed it
in the old prison wallet,
811
00:48:30,562 --> 00:48:31,955
if you know what I'm saying.
812
00:48:31,999 --> 00:48:34,479
I really hope I don't know
what you're saying.
813
00:48:36,568 --> 00:48:38,919
I know it's in there,
I just need to get it out.
814
00:48:38,962 --> 00:48:41,051
Oh, Jesus Christ.
815
00:48:41,095 --> 00:48:43,749
I can hear you
rummaging around in there.
816
00:48:43,793 --> 00:48:46,187
Do they make Purell
for your ears?
817
00:48:50,713 --> 00:48:52,073
And to update you
818
00:48:52,106 --> 00:48:53,498
on the story reported earlier,
819
00:48:53,542 --> 00:48:55,239
after a lengthy standoff
820
00:48:55,283 --> 00:48:57,894
outside the Essex House
for Mutant Rehabilitation...
821
00:48:57,938 --> 00:48:59,243
two mutants were arrested
822
00:48:59,287 --> 00:49:01,028
and transported
to the Ice Box...
823
00:49:01,071 --> 00:49:02,551
Entering repair mode.
824
00:49:06,903 --> 00:49:08,489
...several
police cars were destroyed
825
00:49:08,513 --> 00:49:10,341
and the X-Men were called in
to restore order.
826
00:49:31,580 --> 00:49:33,582
Cells seven and nine
827
00:49:33,625 --> 00:49:37,020
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
828
00:49:37,064 --> 00:49:38,543
Cells seven and nine
829
00:49:38,587 --> 00:49:41,329
now off-limits
for medical personnel.
830
00:49:43,070 --> 00:49:44,462
Psst!
831
00:49:46,769 --> 00:49:49,119
Don't do that.
832
00:49:49,163 --> 00:49:52,035
What? Why are you
winking at me?
833
00:49:55,647 --> 00:49:57,040
I got your back.
834
00:49:57,084 --> 00:49:58,302
Oh, my God.
835
00:49:58,346 --> 00:49:59,869
You're sick,
I gotta protect you.
836
00:49:59,912 --> 00:50:01,827
Just leave me alone, kid.
837
00:50:02,959 --> 00:50:04,004
Oh, great.
838
00:50:05,875 --> 00:50:08,399
Well, hello there, new fish.
839
00:50:08,443 --> 00:50:11,489
It's nice to see some
fresh faces around here.
840
00:50:11,533 --> 00:50:13,796
I've done some
light catalog work...
841
00:50:13,839 --> 00:50:16,320
but, really, modeling is just
a stepping stone to acting.
842
00:50:16,364 --> 00:50:19,149
I was talking to him.Oh.
843
00:50:19,193 --> 00:50:22,587
Have we met?
I can't place your mustache.
844
00:50:22,631 --> 00:50:25,286
Black Tom Cassidy. White Wade Wilson.
845
00:50:25,329 --> 00:50:28,767
What's your superpower?
Cultural appropriation?
846
00:50:28,811 --> 00:50:31,379
You're supposed to be
the toughest cunt in here.
847
00:50:31,422 --> 00:50:33,990
You don't look
like much to me.
848
00:50:34,034 --> 00:50:36,471
First rule of the yard,
fuckface...
849
00:50:36,514 --> 00:50:38,560
find the biggest guy
and make him your...
850
00:50:42,390 --> 00:50:44,609
Second biggest guy.
851
00:50:44,653 --> 00:50:47,090
The last thing I need
is more hepatitis.
852
00:50:47,134 --> 00:50:50,702
Oh, it's slippery, too.
This table needs a wipe down!
853
00:50:50,746 --> 00:50:52,574
Can we get a wipe down
on the table?
854
00:50:53,879 --> 00:50:56,099
Kid, I think you picked
the wrong side.
855
00:50:56,143 --> 00:50:58,493
No, I didn't!
He's my friend!
856
00:50:58,536 --> 00:51:00,799
Zip it. We're not friends.
857
00:51:02,497 --> 00:51:03,777
You're about to get
dick-slapped.
858
00:51:16,163 --> 00:51:17,903
I had so much fun!
You were like...
859
00:51:17,947 --> 00:51:20,036
And I was like,
"Take a seat, shit dick."
860
00:51:20,080 --> 00:51:21,820
Just let me die in peace.
861
00:51:21,864 --> 00:51:23,996
We make a great team!
862
00:51:24,040 --> 00:51:26,608
Oh, God! We're not a team.
863
00:51:26,651 --> 00:51:31,003
Why'd you say that back there?
We're friends, partners.
864
00:51:31,047 --> 00:51:33,441
We're not partners
or friends.
865
00:51:34,877 --> 00:51:36,966
This doesn't end with us
riding into the sunset.
866
00:51:37,009 --> 00:51:39,186
It ends with me
dying of cancer...
867
00:51:39,229 --> 00:51:43,103
and you winning the Ice Box
award for softest mouth.
868
00:51:44,539 --> 00:51:46,149
There's only one person
in this world
869
00:51:46,193 --> 00:51:47,977
that I care about,
and she's gone.
870
00:51:49,761 --> 00:51:52,938
You wanna survive?
871
00:51:52,982 --> 00:51:56,290
Stop trying to shank
the biggest guys in here...
872
00:51:56,333 --> 00:51:58,205
and make friends with them.
873
00:51:59,510 --> 00:52:01,121
Make friends with someone.
874
00:52:02,339 --> 00:52:03,949
Anyone but me.
875
00:52:05,125 --> 00:52:07,431
Maybe even Black Tim.
876
00:52:08,345 --> 00:52:09,955
Black Evan, I don't know.
877
00:52:09,999 --> 00:52:12,480
All I remember is
he was African-American.
878
00:52:57,960 --> 00:53:00,049
System malfunctioning.
879
00:53:00,092 --> 00:53:03,444
Cells 7, 12, 14, 27.
880
00:53:03,487 --> 00:53:05,750
Back in your cells, you filthy
mutants! Get in there!
881
00:53:05,794 --> 00:53:09,101
Cells 1, 3, 7, 8.
882
00:53:10,277 --> 00:53:11,717
Searching.
883
00:53:13,236 --> 00:53:15,586
Cell 04 located.
884
00:53:16,979 --> 00:53:19,111
Door won't open!
885
00:53:19,155 --> 00:53:20,765
On your fucking knees!
886
00:53:57,715 --> 00:53:59,413
That was our cell.
887
00:54:01,545 --> 00:54:03,852
What did I do to piss off
a grumpy old fucker
888
00:54:03,895 --> 00:54:05,070
with a Winter Soldier arm?
889
00:54:14,341 --> 00:54:16,256
Get away from me, kid!
890
00:54:23,872 --> 00:54:25,090
Listen to me! Go!
891
00:54:30,574 --> 00:54:31,880
Hello, Russell.
892
00:56:15,462 --> 00:56:16,463
Who are you?
893
00:56:17,377 --> 00:56:18,595
I'm Batman.
894
00:56:30,041 --> 00:56:31,086
Ooh!
895
00:56:35,830 --> 00:56:38,702
Oh. That's got some zip.
896
00:56:47,232 --> 00:56:50,018
Don't feel bad.
Even I can't kill me.
897
00:56:50,714 --> 00:56:52,281
Talk!
898
00:56:52,324 --> 00:56:54,109
What kind of
spineless shit stick
899
00:56:54,152 --> 00:56:55,502
tries to kill
a 14-year-old boy?
900
00:56:56,807 --> 00:56:58,330
You might wanna start talking!
901
00:56:58,374 --> 00:57:00,614
'Cause I got a long history of
firing at times like this!
902
00:57:01,986 --> 00:57:03,988
The name's Cable.
903
00:57:04,032 --> 00:57:06,687
I'm from the future.
Just walk away.
904
00:57:07,383 --> 00:57:08,689
Oh!
905
00:57:08,732 --> 00:57:10,691
So, you're from the future.
906
00:57:10,734 --> 00:57:12,693
I have
three questions then.
907
00:57:12,736 --> 00:57:16,348
One, is dubstep still a thing?
908
00:57:16,392 --> 00:57:18,873
Two, do people still homebrew?
909
00:57:18,916 --> 00:57:21,484
And three,
does Dopinder ever find love?
910
00:58:05,659 --> 00:58:07,443
Dubstep's for pussies.
911
00:58:07,487 --> 00:58:08,792
You're so dark!
912
00:58:08,836 --> 00:58:10,925
Are you sure you're not
from the DC universe?
913
00:58:11,665 --> 00:58:13,231
I love dubstep!
914
00:58:39,519 --> 00:58:40,955
Is that a fanny pack?
915
00:58:40,998 --> 00:58:43,566
I used to have one of those
in 1990-never.
916
00:58:44,567 --> 00:58:46,656
Something to remember you by.
917
00:58:46,700 --> 00:58:50,486
Give me that back!
That goes with me everywhere.
918
00:58:50,530 --> 00:58:52,880
Like the memory
of your fucking fanny pack!
919
00:59:02,629 --> 00:59:04,718
Why are you protecting
the kid?
920
00:59:06,023 --> 00:59:08,330
I don't give a fuck
about him...
921
00:59:08,373 --> 00:59:10,767
and his Are You My Mother?
complex!
922
00:59:13,117 --> 00:59:14,379
What's this one do?
923
00:59:28,568 --> 00:59:30,178
In every film,
there's a moment
924
00:59:30,221 --> 00:59:32,615
when the hero
hits rock bottom.
925
00:59:32,659 --> 00:59:34,617
InCool Runnings,
it was when John Candy's
926
00:59:34,661 --> 00:59:36,619
prized bobsled broke.
927
00:59:36,663 --> 00:59:39,404
InHuman Centipede,
it was when those people...
928
00:59:39,448 --> 00:59:41,015
signed on to be in that movie.
929
00:59:41,058 --> 00:59:43,191
But in this film, well...
930
00:59:43,234 --> 00:59:44,453
you're looking at it.
931
00:59:44,496 --> 00:59:46,237
On your fucking knees, mutant.
932
00:59:49,153 --> 00:59:50,154
Rock...
933
00:59:54,202 --> 00:59:55,682
meet bottom.
934
01:00:06,388 --> 01:00:07,539
I love you, Wade Wilson.
935
01:00:07,563 --> 01:00:08,738
Ness?
936
01:00:09,783 --> 01:00:11,262
Hey, Ness!
937
01:00:12,133 --> 01:00:13,961
Ness, can you let me in?
938
01:00:14,004 --> 01:00:16,093
Please! Please.
939
01:00:18,269 --> 01:00:19,401
Jesus.
940
01:00:22,317 --> 01:00:24,077
You're not giving me
a lot of direction here.
941
01:00:24,101 --> 01:00:25,929
I'm at the end of my rope.
942
01:00:28,410 --> 01:00:30,760
Then I joined the X-Men.
943
01:00:30,804 --> 01:00:32,632
I went to prison. I, uh...
944
01:00:36,723 --> 01:00:38,246
Is it the kid?
945
01:00:40,291 --> 01:00:43,207
Kids give us a chance to be
better than we used to be.
946
01:00:44,644 --> 01:00:45,645
The kid!
947
01:00:59,267 --> 01:01:00,877
That's exactly what she meant.
948
01:01:00,921 --> 01:01:02,333
Your heart needs to be
in the right place.
949
01:01:02,357 --> 01:01:04,228
I'm not gonna
abandon this kid.
950
01:01:04,272 --> 01:01:06,883
He's never had anyone, ever.
951
01:01:06,927 --> 01:01:08,276
I need to be selfless.
952
01:01:08,319 --> 01:01:10,278
Yeah, but what does
that mean?
953
01:01:10,321 --> 01:01:13,585
It means
I'm gonna save Russell.
954
01:01:13,629 --> 01:01:15,152
Maybe I couldn't
save Vanessa...
955
01:01:15,196 --> 01:01:18,199
but maybe I can save a robust
teenager from New Zealand.
956
01:01:18,242 --> 01:01:20,307
Yeah, but what I mean is,
like, the world "selfless."
957
01:01:20,331 --> 01:01:21,855
I literally don't know
what that means.
958
01:01:21,898 --> 01:01:23,073
Jesus Christ.
959
01:01:23,117 --> 01:01:25,859
Okay, look.
According to my guy, okay...
960
01:01:25,902 --> 01:01:27,730
those muties
are being transferred
961
01:01:27,774 --> 01:01:29,601
to a supermax, 80 miles away.
962
01:01:29,645 --> 01:01:31,473
Great, I'll pick 'em off
along the way.
963
01:01:31,516 --> 01:01:33,693
Hold your testicles there,
buddy, okay?
964
01:01:33,736 --> 01:01:35,738
We're talking about
an armored convoy...
965
01:01:35,782 --> 01:01:38,393
and a vicious super soldier
from the future...
966
01:01:38,436 --> 01:01:40,787
that is looking to turn your
skull into a fuckable ashtray.
967
01:01:40,830 --> 01:01:42,310
You know what we need to do?
968
01:01:42,353 --> 01:01:44,225
We need to build
a fucking team.
969
01:01:44,268 --> 01:01:46,357
We need 'em tough,
morally flexible...
970
01:01:46,401 --> 01:01:47,794
and young enough
so they can carry
971
01:01:47,837 --> 01:01:49,032
this franchise 10 to 12 years.
972
01:01:49,056 --> 01:01:50,927
A team of
highly-skilled motherfuckers.
973
01:01:50,971 --> 01:01:54,017
I'm talking about some
Ocean's 14shit. Rogue Two.
974
01:01:54,061 --> 01:01:56,498
John Wick 3,but with
the original director.
975
01:01:56,541 --> 01:01:58,456
My body is an
instrument of death.
976
01:01:58,500 --> 01:01:59,849
Not now, Dopinder.
977
01:01:59,893 --> 01:02:01,372
I could be of great use.
978
01:02:01,416 --> 01:02:02,983
What's your superpower?
979
01:02:04,811 --> 01:02:06,464
Courage. That's adorable.
980
01:02:06,508 --> 01:02:08,181
Do you have the courage
to check and see...
981
01:02:08,205 --> 01:02:10,599
if there are enough sanitary
napkins in the dispenser?
982
01:02:10,642 --> 01:02:11,687
Yes, sir.
983
01:02:11,731 --> 01:02:12,993
I'm sorry
you had to see that,
984
01:02:13,036 --> 01:02:15,386
although I'm glad
you heard it.
985
01:02:15,430 --> 01:02:17,345
All right, I'll put out
a call for resumes.
986
01:02:17,388 --> 01:02:19,651
But we're not paying
medical or dental.
987
01:02:19,695 --> 01:02:21,741
It's time to get back
on LinkedIn.
988
01:02:58,603 --> 01:03:00,257
Attention, all inmates!
989
01:03:00,301 --> 01:03:02,738
Transport to Cross Force
Maximum Security
990
01:03:02,782 --> 01:03:04,261
Mutant Containment Facility...
991
01:03:04,305 --> 01:03:06,263
will begin at 0800 hours.
992
01:03:06,307 --> 01:03:08,309
Inspection of your cells
and out processing
993
01:03:08,352 --> 01:03:10,398
will begin at 0600.
994
01:03:18,710 --> 01:03:19,799
Oi.
995
01:03:19,842 --> 01:03:21,191
What the fuck
do you want?
996
01:03:21,235 --> 01:03:23,063
That's my fucking pudding.
997
01:03:23,106 --> 01:03:25,108
Fuck your pudding! You like pudding?
998
01:03:46,129 --> 01:03:47,130
Hello?
999
01:03:49,437 --> 01:03:51,787
I know you're in there.
1000
01:04:07,455 --> 01:04:09,761
Must be hard
being the biggest guy in here.
1001
01:04:11,024 --> 01:04:13,330
Lonely at the top, eh?
1002
01:04:13,374 --> 01:04:15,332
They're moving us tomorrow.
1003
01:04:17,813 --> 01:04:19,597
Maybe I can get you
out of here.
1004
01:04:20,816 --> 01:04:23,950
And we can make
the whole world our bitch.
1005
01:04:25,821 --> 01:04:27,562
We need a secret code.
1006
01:04:30,782 --> 01:04:33,220
No,
that's stupid, Russell. Idiot.
1007
01:04:40,488 --> 01:04:42,011
We're a team.
1008
01:04:42,055 --> 01:04:44,013
We're like thugs,
we're like gangsters.
1009
01:04:44,057 --> 01:04:47,712
I'm like Tupac,
and you're like Ice Cube.
1010
01:04:47,756 --> 01:04:48,864
Supposedly,
she can rap, too.
1011
01:04:48,888 --> 01:04:49,976
Yeah.
1012
01:04:50,019 --> 01:04:51,064
I like that.
1013
01:04:51,107 --> 01:04:52,761
Terrific,
these are all terrific.
1014
01:04:52,804 --> 01:04:54,545
Meet Bedlam.
1015
01:04:54,589 --> 01:04:56,852
Cool name! Superpowers?
1016
01:04:56,896 --> 01:04:58,419
I can distort
electrical fields.
1017
01:04:59,637 --> 01:05:01,857
Including the one
inside your brain...
1018
01:05:01,901 --> 01:05:04,599
causing anxiety, confusion...
1019
01:05:04,642 --> 01:05:06,644
pain.
1020
01:05:06,688 --> 01:05:08,777
So, basically,
you're Dave Matthews.
1021
01:05:08,820 --> 01:05:09,952
We can use him.
1022
01:05:11,736 --> 01:05:13,390
I'm Zeitgeist.
1023
01:05:13,434 --> 01:05:14,739
Cool. I like it.
1024
01:05:14,783 --> 01:05:16,045
So you have the power
1025
01:05:16,089 --> 01:05:18,439
to put your finger
on the pulse of society?
1026
01:05:19,483 --> 01:05:20,658
No.
1027
01:05:20,702 --> 01:05:22,269
No, I spit acidic vomit.
1028
01:05:22,312 --> 01:05:23,444
Oh.Do you want me
1029
01:05:23,487 --> 01:05:24,880
to demonstrate? DEADPOOL: No!
1030
01:05:24,924 --> 01:05:26,403
We'll take
your word for it.
1031
01:05:26,447 --> 01:05:28,599
Thank you. Yeah. Listen,
we've all eaten at Arby's, okay?
1032
01:05:28,623 --> 01:05:31,234
And this is the Vanisher.
1033
01:05:34,585 --> 01:05:35,586
But...
1034
01:05:36,761 --> 01:05:38,241
Vanisher!
1035
01:05:40,765 --> 01:05:42,419
Nice! Right?
1036
01:05:43,725 --> 01:05:44,856
He's not here, is he?
1037
01:05:44,900 --> 01:05:46,423
He may be running late.
1038
01:05:48,034 --> 01:05:50,862
My name's Rusty,
but I go by Shatterstar.
1039
01:05:50,906 --> 01:05:52,125
That's good, yeah.
1040
01:05:52,168 --> 01:05:54,301
"Rusty" is terrible.Toughie.
1041
01:05:54,344 --> 01:05:57,173
So, uh, where are you from?
The planet Mojo World.
1042
01:05:57,217 --> 01:05:59,262
So you're an alien, I guess. Bad name.
1043
01:05:59,306 --> 01:06:01,003
How does that, uh, help us?
1044
01:06:01,047 --> 01:06:03,963
I'm basically better
than you at everything.
1045
01:06:04,006 --> 01:06:05,723
Just once, I'm gonna find
a planet of people
1046
01:06:05,747 --> 01:06:07,314
that are worse than me
at everything.
1047
01:06:07,357 --> 01:06:09,577
A whole bunch
of functional idiots.
1048
01:06:09,620 --> 01:06:11,555
I'm gonna go there, and I'm
gonna be their Superman.
1049
01:06:11,579 --> 01:06:12,710
Isn't that Canada?
1050
01:06:12,754 --> 01:06:15,148
You shut your
goddamn trash mouth!
1051
01:06:16,323 --> 01:06:17,846
Meet... Domino.
1052
01:06:17,889 --> 01:06:19,935
What's your shtick? I'm lucky.
1053
01:06:19,979 --> 01:06:21,371
That's not a superpower.
1054
01:06:21,415 --> 01:06:22,546
Yeah, it is. No, it isn't.
1055
01:06:22,590 --> 01:06:23,852
Yes, it is. No, it isn't.
1056
01:06:23,895 --> 01:06:24,940
Yeah, it is. No, it isn't.
1057
01:06:24,984 --> 01:06:26,028
Yes, it is. No, it isn't.
1058
01:06:26,072 --> 01:06:27,092
Yeah, it is. Really isn't.
1059
01:06:27,116 --> 01:06:28,335
No, it isn't.Yes, it is.
1060
01:06:28,378 --> 01:06:29,553
Told you.
1061
01:06:29,597 --> 01:06:30,946
Get out of my head!
1062
01:06:30,990 --> 01:06:32,600
I'm not in your head.
1063
01:06:32,643 --> 01:06:33,993
I'm in an
11-year-old's bedroom.
1064
01:06:34,036 --> 01:06:35,168
Well, if you're so lucky,
1065
01:06:35,211 --> 01:06:36,821
then what are you
doing here with us?
1066
01:06:36,865 --> 01:06:37,997
I don't know yet.
1067
01:06:38,040 --> 01:06:39,563
What's that supposed to mean?
1068
01:06:39,607 --> 01:06:40,888
There's a reason why I'm here,
and I'll know when I know.
1069
01:06:40,912 --> 01:06:42,716
Everything usually
just kind of works out for me.
1070
01:06:42,740 --> 01:06:44,568
Like 2008 Ryan Reynolds.
1071
01:06:45,874 --> 01:06:47,006
I don't know who that is.
1072
01:06:47,049 --> 01:06:48,529
You're hired.
1073
01:06:48,572 --> 01:06:49,617
Lucky me.
1074
01:06:49,660 --> 01:06:50,879
I like her!
1075
01:06:52,011 --> 01:06:53,316
And last, but not least...
1076
01:06:53,360 --> 01:06:54,491
Peter.
1077
01:06:55,884 --> 01:06:58,408
Am I getting
catfished here or...?
1078
01:06:58,452 --> 01:07:00,367
Any powers you wanna
tell us about?
1079
01:07:00,410 --> 01:07:02,021
No.
1080
01:07:02,064 --> 01:07:03,761
I don't have one.
1081
01:07:03,805 --> 01:07:05,111
Um, I just saw the ad.
1082
01:07:05,154 --> 01:07:06,938
No superpowers at all?
1083
01:07:06,982 --> 01:07:10,072
Uh, I have both
Type 1 and 2 Diabetes.
1084
01:07:10,594 --> 01:07:11,943
Ow! Oh!
1085
01:07:11,987 --> 01:07:13,119
That's all the diabetes.
1086
01:07:13,162 --> 01:07:14,468
Right?
Yeah, you got 'em all.
1087
01:07:14,511 --> 01:07:16,426
If you find a Type 3,
let us know.
1088
01:07:16,948 --> 01:07:17,993
Yeah.
1089
01:07:18,037 --> 01:07:19,125
You're in.
1090
01:07:19,168 --> 01:07:20,691
Yeah. Fuck!
1091
01:07:23,085 --> 01:07:24,478
It's fulfilling work.
1092
01:07:29,570 --> 01:07:30,875
Let's go!
1093
01:07:44,498 --> 01:07:47,109
This is Convoy 17
departing the Ice Box.
1094
01:07:47,153 --> 01:07:48,502
We are en route.
1095
01:07:56,118 --> 01:07:58,468
Peacetime makes people soft.
1096
01:08:00,079 --> 01:08:01,863
I was born into war.
1097
01:08:03,386 --> 01:08:04,561
Bred into it.
1098
01:08:05,693 --> 01:08:07,477
Okay.
1099
01:08:07,521 --> 01:08:09,871
What's the most pain
you've ever felt?
1100
01:08:11,829 --> 01:08:13,092
These restraints are pretty...
1101
01:08:13,135 --> 01:08:15,006
People think
they understand pain.
1102
01:08:15,050 --> 01:08:16,486
They have no concept of it
1103
01:08:16,530 --> 01:08:18,488
beyond their own
worst experience.
1104
01:08:20,099 --> 01:08:23,276
5 years old. That's what?
1105
01:08:23,319 --> 01:08:24,886
A bee sting.
1106
01:08:24,929 --> 01:08:26,061
Oh, yeah.
1107
01:08:26,105 --> 01:08:28,629
20 years old, shrapnel.
1108
01:08:28,672 --> 01:08:31,371
40 years old, disease.
1109
01:08:31,414 --> 01:08:35,984
Maybe the kind that leaves you
more machine than man.
1110
01:08:36,027 --> 01:08:37,427
Yeah, getting old's
not for sissies.
1111
01:08:37,464 --> 01:08:39,118
That's what my
Grandma Ginny used to...
1112
01:08:39,161 --> 01:08:40,336
I've got a list.
1113
01:08:41,120 --> 01:08:43,078
We're gonna work down it.
1114
01:08:43,774 --> 01:08:44,775
Together.
1115
01:08:45,950 --> 01:08:48,997
Number one,
I'm gonna bend something.
1116
01:08:49,040 --> 01:08:51,347
Something that was not
meant to bend.
1117
01:08:51,391 --> 01:08:52,542
I'm gonna
stop you right there
1118
01:08:52,566 --> 01:08:53,891
because I'm not gonna
make it to two.
1119
01:08:53,915 --> 01:08:55,221
I won't even
make it to one.
1120
01:08:55,264 --> 01:08:57,005
I don't do well with pain,
you know.
1121
01:08:57,048 --> 01:08:59,399
If I stub my toe,
I'm done for the day.
1122
01:08:59,442 --> 01:09:01,836
I cried when they
canceled Felicity.
1123
01:09:01,879 --> 01:09:03,727
When I get really scared,
I get nervous erections.
1124
01:09:03,751 --> 01:09:05,144
I have one right now.
1125
01:09:05,187 --> 01:09:06,754
Don't look.
It'll only make it worse.
1126
01:09:06,797 --> 01:09:07,929
I don't want you
to hurt me,
1127
01:09:07,972 --> 01:09:10,149
and I'll tell you
anything you wanna know.
1128
01:09:11,150 --> 01:09:13,282
Except for where they are.
1129
01:09:13,326 --> 01:09:14,607
Russell's in a convoy
heading southbound
1130
01:09:14,631 --> 01:09:16,024
on Gerry Duggan Parkway.
1131
01:09:16,067 --> 01:09:17,393
The monster's with them.
I wouldn't fuck with him.
1132
01:09:17,417 --> 01:09:18,896
You all know the plan.
1133
01:09:18,940 --> 01:09:20,681
Intercept the convoy,
1134
01:09:20,724 --> 01:09:22,726
grab the boy.
But not inappropriately!
1135
01:09:22,770 --> 01:09:24,119
You know what,
1136
01:09:24,163 --> 01:09:25,686
I wouldn't fuck with
Deadpool either.
1137
01:09:25,729 --> 01:09:27,862
Because he's built a team.
He's unstoppable.
1138
01:09:27,905 --> 01:09:30,604
He has an ass pen.
He'll stab you with it.
1139
01:09:30,647 --> 01:09:33,259
Watch out for this guy, Cable!
1140
01:09:33,302 --> 01:09:36,566
He's very short, 5'11".
Not like in the comics.
1141
01:09:36,610 --> 01:09:39,700
And if we succeed,
we all go home early.
1142
01:09:39,743 --> 01:09:41,823
So if you go after
them, Cable, I warn you...
1143
01:09:42,616 --> 01:09:44,313
there's a wind advisory
in effect.
1144
01:09:55,455 --> 01:09:57,095
A little turbulent up here.
1145
01:10:04,464 --> 01:10:06,248
I don't know much
about this Cable fella...
1146
01:10:06,292 --> 01:10:07,684
but I guarantee
he hasn't killed
1147
01:10:07,728 --> 01:10:09,469
as many people
as melanoma has.
1148
01:10:10,861 --> 01:10:12,254
We're getting close!
1149
01:10:12,298 --> 01:10:13,995
As a former X-Man...
1150
01:10:14,038 --> 01:10:15,953
Trainee. Thank you, Bedlam.
1151
01:10:15,997 --> 01:10:18,347
I was always appalled
by the blatant sexism
1152
01:10:18,391 --> 01:10:20,001
in the group's name.
1153
01:10:20,044 --> 01:10:22,090
X-Men! Men!
1154
01:10:22,133 --> 01:10:25,136
The point is, our group
will be forward thinking.
1155
01:10:25,180 --> 01:10:26,486
Gender neutral.
1156
01:10:26,529 --> 01:10:28,836
From now on,
we'll be known as...
1157
01:10:31,099 --> 01:10:32,448
X-Force.
1158
01:10:32,492 --> 01:10:34,276
Isn't that
a little derivative?
1159
01:10:34,320 --> 01:10:36,713
I don't recall asking
your opinion, Peter!
1160
01:10:37,975 --> 01:10:39,412
That wasn't me.
1161
01:10:46,462 --> 01:10:48,812
Hang the laundry out
at 1,300 feet...
1162
01:10:48,856 --> 01:10:50,684
intercept the convoy,
and grab the boy.
1163
01:10:50,727 --> 01:10:51,835
Let's bring on
the carnage, baby!
1164
01:10:51,859 --> 01:10:53,730
Get me on the ground,
watch me go!
1165
01:10:53,774 --> 01:10:54,905
Yeah!
1166
01:10:54,949 --> 01:10:56,646
I can't wait to kill!
1167
01:10:56,690 --> 01:10:59,432
Hey! Hey! Hey!
1168
01:10:59,475 --> 01:11:02,173
I just wanna say
how proud I am of this team.
1169
01:11:02,217 --> 01:11:05,089
You know,
you guys look amazing!
1170
01:11:05,133 --> 01:11:08,005
Vanisher, I have no doubt
you look amazing too.
1171
01:11:08,049 --> 01:11:09,180
This is the family
1172
01:11:09,224 --> 01:11:10,904
that I've always dreamed
of having and I...
1173
01:11:11,661 --> 01:11:12,749
Ah, shit.
1174
01:11:14,360 --> 01:11:16,057
I just get a little choked up
sometimes.
1175
01:11:16,100 --> 01:11:17,928
I hate to interrupt,
but is anybody nervous
1176
01:11:17,972 --> 01:11:19,321
about the high winds?
1177
01:11:19,365 --> 01:11:20,714
Gary. My name's Peter.
1178
01:11:20,757 --> 01:11:22,672
I realize that you're
new to this, but relax.
1179
01:11:22,716 --> 01:11:24,370
You've been chosen
by a higher power.
1180
01:11:24,413 --> 01:11:26,720
Did he just call himself God?
I think he did.
1181
01:11:26,763 --> 01:11:28,330
I'd like to go home. And I'd like...
1182
01:11:28,374 --> 01:11:30,898
the McRib to be available
year round,
1183
01:11:30,941 --> 01:11:32,769
but sometimes dreams
don't come true.
1184
01:11:32,813 --> 01:11:34,989
I spent 10 years
in Special Forces.
1185
01:11:35,032 --> 01:11:36,183
You think we didn't
jump out of the plane
1186
01:11:36,207 --> 01:11:38,166
because of a light breeze?
1187
01:11:38,209 --> 01:11:40,473
You're in this shit now,
Mustache!
1188
01:11:40,516 --> 01:11:42,494
I'm only yelling
to impress the other guys.
1189
01:11:42,518 --> 01:11:44,825
I'd never let anything
happen to you, Sugarbear.
1190
01:11:44,868 --> 01:11:47,088
Leonard, hit it!
1191
01:11:55,792 --> 01:11:57,838
Go! Go! Go!
1192
01:12:33,526 --> 01:12:34,962
Let's get some!
1193
01:12:35,005 --> 01:12:36,180
Whoo!
1194
01:12:36,224 --> 01:12:37,399
Oh, yeah!
1195
01:12:37,443 --> 01:12:40,271
Convoy, 12 o'clock!
On my command!
1196
01:12:41,316 --> 01:12:42,796
Deploy! Oh, hey now!
1197
01:12:42,839 --> 01:12:44,101
Whoa!
1198
01:12:49,368 --> 01:12:51,282
Little off course here.
1199
01:12:53,459 --> 01:12:56,287
Holy mommy fucking shit!
1200
01:12:57,027 --> 01:12:58,464
Ah, there they are.
1201
01:12:58,507 --> 01:13:02,119
Look at these gorgeous
sons of bitches.
1202
01:13:02,163 --> 01:13:04,078
Oh, yeah!
That's right, Bedlam!
1203
01:13:09,170 --> 01:13:13,435
No! Tripping
motherfucking billies!
1204
01:13:13,479 --> 01:13:16,569
Shatterstar.
Okay, you got this.
1205
01:13:17,352 --> 01:13:18,397
Left!
1206
01:13:18,440 --> 01:13:19,789
Left!
1207
01:13:19,833 --> 01:13:22,096
You'd have to be insane
to take off in this.
1208
01:13:22,139 --> 01:13:24,359
No, stage left, you idiot!
1209
01:13:28,276 --> 01:13:29,799
Well, I guess
we found something
1210
01:13:29,843 --> 01:13:30,931
you're not better at.
1211
01:13:33,150 --> 01:13:34,456
Vanisher.
1212
01:13:34,500 --> 01:13:36,284
Maybe the wind can't blow
what it can't see.
1213
01:13:39,418 --> 01:13:40,854
Oh! Really?
1214
01:13:40,897 --> 01:13:43,247
All right,
we could do this with four.
1215
01:13:43,291 --> 01:13:46,294
Sugarbear.
You got this, buddy!
1216
01:13:46,337 --> 01:13:48,427
That's the stuff!
That's the X-Force spirit!
1217
01:13:49,645 --> 01:13:51,734
Never underestimate
a man with a mustache!
1218
01:13:51,778 --> 01:13:53,344
Just ask anyone in Brooklyn.
1219
01:13:53,388 --> 01:13:54,563
We did it!
1220
01:13:54,607 --> 01:13:56,173
You're a goddamn
superhero, you!
1221
01:13:56,217 --> 01:13:57,305
X-Force!
1222
01:13:57,914 --> 01:13:59,002
X-Force.
1223
01:14:03,398 --> 01:14:05,269
Oh!
1224
01:14:08,969 --> 01:14:10,013
Peter.
1225
01:14:10,057 --> 01:14:11,362
I got you, buddy!
1226
01:14:11,406 --> 01:14:12,601
You're gonna be fine!
This is not good, man!
1227
01:14:12,625 --> 01:14:14,931
You got this, big guy!
Here we go, Peter!
1228
01:14:14,975 --> 01:14:16,455
Look at me.
We're X-Force, right?
1229
01:14:16,498 --> 01:14:18,587
Yeah, we're X-Force. We're X-Force.
1230
01:14:22,635 --> 01:14:24,680
Oh, my God!
What the fuck?
1231
01:14:24,724 --> 01:14:26,726
Fucking acidic vomit!
1232
01:14:28,292 --> 01:14:31,078
Oh, God! I'm gonna throw up
in my mask.
1233
01:14:34,168 --> 01:14:36,562
Okay,
I'm over the convoy.
1234
01:14:36,605 --> 01:14:39,042
Where did the rest
of the team land?
1235
01:14:39,086 --> 01:14:40,740
Good news and bad news.
1236
01:14:40,783 --> 01:14:43,917
Bad news is
the whole team is dead.
1237
01:14:43,960 --> 01:14:45,266
The good news is,
1238
01:14:45,309 --> 01:14:47,137
I don't think anyone's
gonna miss Shatterstar.
1239
01:14:47,181 --> 01:14:50,532
He was a bit of a prick.
Oh, but Paul!
1240
01:14:50,576 --> 01:14:51,577
Peter!
1241
01:14:51,620 --> 01:14:53,100
Peter, I'm gonna
miss him most.
1242
01:14:53,143 --> 01:14:54,275
But there is
a slight chance
1243
01:14:54,318 --> 01:14:55,668
Vanisher could make it.
1244
01:14:55,711 --> 01:14:58,322
Nope, no chance. He's dead.
1245
01:14:58,366 --> 01:14:59,541
The whole team?
1246
01:14:59,585 --> 01:15:01,456
Only the main ones.
We're still good.
1247
01:15:01,500 --> 01:15:02,762
Fuck, you are dumb.
1248
01:15:02,805 --> 01:15:04,459
Whoever planned this stunt's
1249
01:15:04,503 --> 01:15:06,679
been smoking
a lot jazz cabbage.
1250
01:15:06,722 --> 01:15:07,854
I'll tell you that much.
1251
01:15:07,897 --> 01:15:09,551
That's pretty obvious!
1252
01:15:09,595 --> 01:15:11,335
Looking good, Vanisher.
1253
01:15:21,171 --> 01:15:23,043
They're headed
into the tunnel.
1254
01:15:24,044 --> 01:15:25,524
I'm that kid's only hope,
1255
01:15:25,567 --> 01:15:27,438
so sit tight
and wait for my word.
1256
01:15:28,178 --> 01:15:29,484
Whatever.
1257
01:15:29,528 --> 01:15:31,051
We're gonna lose 'em.
I'm dropping in.
1258
01:15:31,094 --> 01:15:33,488
Uh, that's
a negative, sole survivor.
1259
01:15:33,532 --> 01:15:36,056
Luck is not a superpower!
We are so fucked!
1260
01:15:36,099 --> 01:15:39,189
No, we most certainly
are not fucked.
1261
01:15:42,279 --> 01:15:44,934
Seriously,
I don't get it!
1262
01:15:44,978 --> 01:15:47,458
What, you shoot luck lasers
out of your eyes?
1263
01:15:49,635 --> 01:15:51,462
It's just
it's hard to picture.
1264
01:15:51,506 --> 01:15:53,595
And certainly
not very cinematic.
1265
01:15:56,293 --> 01:15:57,904
I mean, luck?
1266
01:15:57,947 --> 01:16:00,515
What coked out,
glass pipe-sucking
1267
01:16:00,559 --> 01:16:01,908
freakshow comic book artist...
1268
01:16:01,951 --> 01:16:03,605
came up
with that little chestnut?
1269
01:16:03,649 --> 01:16:05,912
Probably a guy
who can't draw feet!
1270
01:16:17,010 --> 01:16:20,317
Once again, it all falls
on my shoulders.
1271
01:16:20,361 --> 01:16:21,599
It's why I'm cursed to be
a solo act.
1272
01:16:21,623 --> 01:16:22,644
Wander the Earth... I'm in.
1273
01:16:22,668 --> 01:16:24,191
I'm sorry, what did you say?
1274
01:16:24,234 --> 01:16:25,366
I'm in.
1275
01:16:25,409 --> 01:16:27,281
How in the fuck
are you in already?
1276
01:16:27,716 --> 01:16:29,544
Oh, shit.
1277
01:16:29,588 --> 01:16:30,806
It's Cable. 12 o'clock.
1278
01:16:30,850 --> 01:16:31,981
Okay.
1279
01:16:32,025 --> 01:16:34,462
New plan. Use all of your
imaginary powers
1280
01:16:34,505 --> 01:16:37,247
to stop Cable
from killing that kid.
1281
01:16:37,291 --> 01:16:38,901
I'm coming up on your six.
1282
01:16:47,170 --> 01:16:49,216
That gun is amazing!
1283
01:16:58,355 --> 01:17:00,401
Hey!
Asshole!
1284
01:17:00,444 --> 01:17:02,055
Where is he?
I can't see him.
1285
01:17:02,098 --> 01:17:03,839
He's on top of you.
1286
01:17:03,883 --> 01:17:05,754
He's tearing you open!
1287
01:17:05,798 --> 01:17:07,713
He's going in
through the back!
1288
01:17:07,756 --> 01:17:08,888
Oh, God, he's inside!
1289
01:17:08,931 --> 01:17:10,237
You hear yourself, right?
1290
01:17:10,280 --> 01:17:11,736
Accidental double entendres!
1291
01:17:11,760 --> 01:17:14,284
Russell! Russell Collins!
1292
01:17:14,328 --> 01:17:16,243
Hands off that kid,
John Connor!
1293
01:17:21,248 --> 01:17:22,249
No, no, no!
1294
01:17:26,601 --> 01:17:27,689
Shit!
1295
01:17:49,668 --> 01:17:51,582
Two can play that game!
1296
01:17:53,715 --> 01:17:55,543
Got it! No, I don't.
1297
01:17:56,544 --> 01:17:57,588
Showtime, mama!
1298
01:17:57,632 --> 01:17:59,242
Lady Luck, take the wheel.
1299
01:18:37,063 --> 01:18:38,867
I'd ask who you are, but
you'll be dead in a second.
1300
01:18:38,891 --> 01:18:40,980
I'm Domino, and doubtful.
1301
01:18:57,561 --> 01:18:58,562
Hang in there, Doms!
1302
01:18:59,868 --> 01:19:01,565
Oh, this is really hard.
1303
01:19:13,839 --> 01:19:15,239
And give me back
my Skee-Ball token.
1304
01:19:18,757 --> 01:19:20,280
You're doing great.X-Force.
1305
01:19:22,238 --> 01:19:24,284
I guess dubstep never dies.
1306
01:19:28,549 --> 01:19:29,593
Whoo!
1307
01:19:36,600 --> 01:19:39,255
You killed Black Tom,
you racist son of a bitch!
1308
01:19:42,041 --> 01:19:43,172
That's unfortunate.
1309
01:19:46,306 --> 01:19:47,698
We got no brakes!
1310
01:19:47,742 --> 01:19:48,961
Figure it out!
1311
01:19:53,356 --> 01:19:54,880
There's nothing I can't kill.
1312
01:19:57,708 --> 01:20:00,233
Well, as Scoutmaster Kevin
used to say...
1313
01:20:00,276 --> 01:20:02,626
"There's a first time
for everything, son."
1314
01:20:04,324 --> 01:20:05,891
Give me your best shot,
One-Eyed Willy.
1315
01:20:20,775 --> 01:20:22,690
Those bullets were, like,
super fast.
1316
01:20:23,256 --> 01:20:24,257
Here we go.
1317
01:20:25,345 --> 01:20:27,608
Domino, mind slowing us down?
1318
01:20:27,651 --> 01:20:29,784
Here goes nothing.
1319
01:21:00,946 --> 01:21:02,686
Knock, knock.
1320
01:21:09,215 --> 01:21:10,259
That's my boy.
1321
01:21:16,657 --> 01:21:17,876
Holy...
1322
01:21:28,103 --> 01:21:29,757
I'll be first to admit...
1323
01:21:29,800 --> 01:21:32,151
this did not go
according to plan.
1324
01:21:33,500 --> 01:21:35,067
I'll also be the first
to admit that
1325
01:21:35,110 --> 01:21:36,982
that plan was
written in crayon.
1326
01:21:37,025 --> 01:21:40,289
Looks like Russell found
a new friend. Jelly.
1327
01:21:40,333 --> 01:21:41,943
Turns out Domino's
a bit of a badass,
1328
01:21:41,987 --> 01:21:44,903
and maybe,
possibly mildly lucky.
1329
01:21:44,946 --> 01:21:48,210
But Cable? Ugh.
That guy's in a mood.
1330
01:21:48,254 --> 01:21:49,472
A mood that is
1331
01:21:49,516 --> 01:21:51,300
about to get
significantly worse.
1332
01:22:15,063 --> 01:22:17,500
Something is so terribly,
terribly wrong.
1333
01:22:20,460 --> 01:22:21,940
Oh.
1334
01:22:23,724 --> 01:22:25,378
Oh, God, that hurt.
1335
01:22:25,421 --> 01:22:27,032
Suck it, Mel Gibson.
1336
01:22:30,600 --> 01:22:31,688
Russell.
1337
01:22:34,387 --> 01:22:35,475
Russell!
1338
01:22:36,084 --> 01:22:38,173
Russ, where are ya?
1339
01:22:41,829 --> 01:22:44,005
Russell. Russell, you're okay!
1340
01:22:44,049 --> 01:22:47,487
Oh, thank God.
Oh, my God!
1341
01:22:47,530 --> 01:22:48,879
Juggernaut!
1342
01:22:50,055 --> 01:22:52,100
I thought that was you!
1343
01:22:52,144 --> 01:22:54,973
I should've worn
my white pants.
1344
01:22:55,016 --> 01:22:58,846
You probably get this a lot,
but I am a huge fan.
1345
01:22:58,889 --> 01:23:02,197
Uncanny X-Men183. Thor411.
1346
01:23:02,241 --> 01:23:03,590
X-Men Unlimited12.
1347
01:23:03,633 --> 01:23:05,766
You know, it has always been
a dream of mine...
1348
01:23:05,809 --> 01:23:07,594
to see my face
reflected in your helmet...
1349
01:23:07,637 --> 01:23:09,857
as you charge at me
with murderous intent.
1350
01:23:09,900 --> 01:23:11,685
I don't mean right now.
1351
01:23:11,728 --> 01:23:13,643
I'm gonna rip you
in half now.
1352
01:23:13,687 --> 01:23:16,037
That is such
a Juggernaut thing to say.
1353
01:23:20,085 --> 01:23:24,132
Oh, my God!
I can't feel my legs.
1354
01:23:24,176 --> 01:23:25,264
I can't feel...
1355
01:23:26,221 --> 01:23:27,744
Oh, no, they're right here.
1356
01:23:28,571 --> 01:23:30,356
Got 'em.
God, Russell.
1357
01:23:30,399 --> 01:23:32,749
I have a mission.
1358
01:23:32,793 --> 01:23:34,360
To get my revenge.
1359
01:23:34,403 --> 01:23:36,710
I'm going to burn
that headmaster alive.
1360
01:23:36,753 --> 01:23:38,973
You're not the revenge type.
1361
01:23:39,017 --> 01:23:40,540
Take it from a friend.
1362
01:23:40,583 --> 01:23:44,413
Friend? You were sick,
and I protected you.
1363
01:23:44,457 --> 01:23:46,633
You said it yourself.
1364
01:23:46,676 --> 01:23:49,375
"I'm not your friend.
Find someone stronger."
1365
01:23:49,418 --> 01:23:50,854
So I did.
1366
01:23:52,378 --> 01:23:54,554
Russell, I couldn't
protect you back then.
1367
01:23:54,597 --> 01:23:58,601
But I can now. What do you
want me to say, huh?
1368
01:23:58,645 --> 01:24:00,516
"I care about you"?
'Cause goddamn it,
1369
01:24:00,560 --> 01:24:02,997
I care about you, Russell.
1370
01:24:03,041 --> 01:24:05,130
What's Juggernaut got
that I don't have?
1371
01:24:05,173 --> 01:24:08,872
Don't you say legs!
I know you're gonna say legs!
1372
01:24:08,916 --> 01:24:11,701
Legs! Still hurts to hear out loud!
1373
01:24:13,877 --> 01:24:16,837
What is that?
That's not a real rope!
1374
01:24:16,880 --> 01:24:19,187
You get back here, young man!
1375
01:24:20,145 --> 01:24:21,624
Doms!
1376
01:24:21,668 --> 01:24:23,887
Doms, get me
out of here, please.
1377
01:24:23,931 --> 01:24:26,325
Use my arms
as backpack straps.
1378
01:24:29,067 --> 01:24:30,155
I think we may have found
1379
01:24:30,198 --> 01:24:32,374
your cosmic reason
for being here.
1380
01:24:32,418 --> 01:24:34,202
I'm pretty sure
this isn't it.
1381
01:24:34,246 --> 01:24:35,508
X-Force.
1382
01:24:49,043 --> 01:24:50,871
No child is hopeless.
1383
01:24:50,914 --> 01:24:54,396
Don't give up on the boy.
How could he just walk away?
1384
01:24:54,440 --> 01:24:57,138
It was the coldness
in his eyes.
1385
01:24:57,182 --> 01:24:58,748
You should've heard it.
1386
01:25:00,663 --> 01:25:02,970
I guess family
really is an F-word.
1387
01:25:03,884 --> 01:25:06,104
Rub my legs, Mama.
1388
01:25:06,147 --> 01:25:07,540
Why would I
rub your legs?
1389
01:25:07,583 --> 01:25:10,499
Please, they hurt.
I have growing pains.
1390
01:25:13,633 --> 01:25:15,287
What in the...
1391
01:25:15,330 --> 01:25:18,072
Why is your hand
so tiny again?
1392
01:25:18,116 --> 01:25:19,943
That's not my hand.
1393
01:25:19,987 --> 01:25:22,337
Oh! Mary,
mother of Joseph!
1394
01:25:22,381 --> 01:25:24,296
That was nice for me.
1395
01:25:24,339 --> 01:25:27,168
Wade! I heard what happened
with the convoy and...
1396
01:25:31,607 --> 01:25:33,914
Why wouldn't you
cover that up?
1397
01:25:33,957 --> 01:25:36,177
A warrior has nothing
to be ashamed of.
1398
01:25:36,221 --> 01:25:38,179
Yeah, but you do.
Look at you.
1399
01:25:38,223 --> 01:25:40,225
You're just
straight shirt-cocking it,
1400
01:25:40,268 --> 01:25:41,748
toddler-style.
1401
01:25:41,791 --> 01:25:43,750
Oh, yeah.
Full Winnie the Pooh.
1402
01:25:43,793 --> 01:25:45,795
The hell's happening?
Describe it.
1403
01:25:45,839 --> 01:25:47,121
I wouldn't ask him to do that,
if I were you.
1404
01:25:47,145 --> 01:25:48,755
It's like, um... Here we go.
1405
01:25:48,798 --> 01:25:50,080
It's like he was
giving birth anally,
1406
01:25:50,104 --> 01:25:51,627
but they quit halfway through.
1407
01:25:51,671 --> 01:25:52,822
They got the legs out,
and they said,
1408
01:25:52,846 --> 01:25:54,195
"You know what, I'm done."
1409
01:25:54,239 --> 01:25:55,501
Happy?
1410
01:25:55,544 --> 01:25:56,652
It's like he's a Muppet
from the waist down.
1411
01:25:56,676 --> 01:25:57,851
But this time, you can see
1412
01:25:57,894 --> 01:25:59,331
the Muppet's dick.
1413
01:25:59,374 --> 01:26:00,897
Grover's got a cock
the size of a twig.
1414
01:26:00,941 --> 01:26:02,136
Mr. Weasel, I can
no longer be double-parked.
1415
01:26:02,160 --> 01:26:03,760
I've had three tickets
already.
1416
01:26:05,250 --> 01:26:08,035
No, no, no, DP,
not again!
1417
01:26:08,078 --> 01:26:10,690
This has happened before?
1418
01:26:10,733 --> 01:26:12,233
Jesus! Either vomit or don't.
1419
01:26:12,257 --> 01:26:13,562
The indecision is killing me.
1420
01:26:13,606 --> 01:26:15,477
Why couldn't God
take my hearing?
1421
01:26:17,087 --> 01:26:19,264
Oh. Wow!
1422
01:26:19,307 --> 01:26:21,004
Cool your pits.
They're growing back.
1423
01:26:21,048 --> 01:26:23,006
I'm talking about your face.
1424
01:26:23,050 --> 01:26:24,965
I've never seen you
without your mask before.
1425
01:26:25,008 --> 01:26:27,228
Jesus Christ! Looks like an avocado.
1426
01:26:27,272 --> 01:26:29,187
Your legs, though,
they're cute.
1427
01:26:29,230 --> 01:26:31,014
You wanna borrow
a pair of pants?
1428
01:26:32,581 --> 01:26:34,192
I'm glad everybody dropped by.
1429
01:26:34,235 --> 01:26:36,933
You must be wondering
why I didn't call you here.
1430
01:26:36,977 --> 01:26:38,587
I'll tell you why I'm here.
1431
01:26:38,631 --> 01:26:40,981
"The Time Traveler's Wife's"
husband...
1432
01:26:41,024 --> 01:26:42,263
beat me within
an inch of my life.
1433
01:26:42,287 --> 01:26:43,636
He was torturing me!
1434
01:26:43,679 --> 01:26:46,552
But all I told him was
everything he wanted to know.
1435
01:26:46,595 --> 01:26:49,250
So, I'm here
to help us gear up.
1436
01:26:49,294 --> 01:26:50,445
So we can go after him
without me.
1437
01:26:50,469 --> 01:26:51,861
No!
1438
01:26:51,905 --> 01:26:53,254
I'm doing this alone.
1439
01:26:53,298 --> 01:26:54,429
The Juggernaut
1440
01:26:54,473 --> 01:26:55,909
will kill you all. Fair enough.
1441
01:26:55,952 --> 01:26:57,843
I just need a couple of
hours to get some legs
1442
01:26:57,867 --> 01:26:58,999
under me. What will you do?
1443
01:26:59,042 --> 01:27:00,368
I don't care
what the kid did to me.
1444
01:27:00,392 --> 01:27:01,741
I ain't letting Cable
get to him,
1445
01:27:01,784 --> 01:27:03,153
even if I have to
teabag him to death.
1446
01:27:03,177 --> 01:27:05,223
It's really just a sip of tea
at this point.
1447
01:27:05,266 --> 01:27:07,050
Zip it, black Black Widow!
I'm flowing.
1448
01:27:07,094 --> 01:27:08,158
The first order
of business is
1449
01:27:08,182 --> 01:27:09,575
to get me in front of Cable...
1450
01:27:09,618 --> 01:27:11,030
so I can pull all the fucking
blood out of his body...
1451
01:27:11,054 --> 01:27:13,405
and fashion his bones
into holiday jewelry.
1452
01:27:13,448 --> 01:27:15,276
Then,
I'm gonna take his skin...
1453
01:27:15,320 --> 01:27:18,366
and stretch it out
over a homemade mating drum.
1454
01:27:19,976 --> 01:27:21,576
He's standing right
behind you, isn't he?
1455
01:27:30,248 --> 01:27:32,250
What in the ass?
1456
01:27:32,293 --> 01:27:35,601
Is this apartment listed
on Tinder? Grindr?
1457
01:27:35,644 --> 01:27:38,691
You picked the wrong shithole
to fuck, future boy.
1458
01:27:38,734 --> 01:27:41,259
Ugh. Is that really necessary?
1459
01:27:43,522 --> 01:27:46,307
No. It's his
"Basic Instinct."
1460
01:27:46,351 --> 01:27:48,091
What can we help you with?
1461
01:27:48,135 --> 01:27:49,789
I'm here to proposition you.
1462
01:27:51,312 --> 01:27:52,400
Oh, boy!
1463
01:27:52,444 --> 01:27:53,508
He's really teeing it up,
isn't he?
1464
01:27:53,532 --> 01:27:55,664
Who gets to make
the first joke?
1465
01:27:55,708 --> 01:27:57,076
I think we should all do it
at the same time.
1466
01:27:57,100 --> 01:27:58,145
Good call.
1467
01:27:58,188 --> 01:27:59,755
For $45, you get sucky-suck.
1468
01:27:59,799 --> 01:28:01,037
I only do over
the pants, mouth stuff.
1469
01:28:01,061 --> 01:28:02,192
Fuck!
1470
01:28:02,236 --> 01:28:03,344
The Proposition
has a wonderful
1471
01:28:03,368 --> 01:28:04,673
Guy Pearce performance.
1472
01:28:04,717 --> 01:28:06,477
Wait, wait, wait!
I wanna do mine over.
1473
01:28:06,501 --> 01:28:09,112
Give us the line again. I need your help!
1474
01:28:09,156 --> 01:28:11,463
Trust me, I'm even less happy
about this than you are...
1475
01:28:11,506 --> 01:28:14,640
but you unleashed
the Juggernaut, you dumb cunt!
1476
01:28:14,683 --> 01:28:17,077
I can't bring him down alone.
1477
01:28:17,120 --> 01:28:18,644
So here we are.
1478
01:28:19,993 --> 01:28:21,777
We're no longer
accepting applications
1479
01:28:21,821 --> 01:28:23,257
for X-Force, unfortunately.
1480
01:28:23,301 --> 01:28:24,737
Even if we were...
1481
01:28:24,780 --> 01:28:26,454
there's a wind advisory
in effect until at least...
1482
01:28:26,478 --> 01:28:27,740
We don't have a lot of time.
1483
01:28:27,783 --> 01:28:29,524
Your friend's about
to make his first kill.
1484
01:28:29,568 --> 01:28:31,091
No offense,
but if you know so much...
1485
01:28:31,134 --> 01:28:34,007
why not travel back to when
he was a baby, kill him then?
1486
01:28:34,050 --> 01:28:35,114
Or better yet, head back
a little further,
1487
01:28:35,138 --> 01:28:36,226
kill baby Hitler.
1488
01:28:36,270 --> 01:28:38,228
I use a device
to slide through time.
1489
01:28:38,272 --> 01:28:40,927
The longer I travel,
the harder it is to control.
1490
01:28:40,970 --> 01:28:43,582
I got two charges:
one to get me here,
1491
01:28:43,625 --> 01:28:44,800
one to get me home.
1492
01:28:44,844 --> 01:28:46,019
Well.
1493
01:28:46,062 --> 01:28:47,977
That's just lazy writing.
1494
01:28:48,021 --> 01:28:49,303
Your boy's
gonna kill the headmaster
1495
01:28:49,327 --> 01:28:50,893
of the orphanage tonight.
1496
01:28:50,937 --> 01:28:53,069
After that,
he gets a real taste for it.
1497
01:28:53,113 --> 01:28:55,855
Like 10-year-old
Kirsten Dunst, motherfucker!
1498
01:28:55,898 --> 01:28:57,900
So he keeps killing...
1499
01:28:57,944 --> 01:28:59,424
and killing, and killing,
1500
01:28:59,467 --> 01:29:00,990
and killing.
1501
01:29:01,034 --> 01:29:04,254
Until one day, he kills
the wrong fucking people.
1502
01:29:06,822 --> 01:29:08,215
My people.
1503
01:29:12,132 --> 01:29:13,394
Relax.
1504
01:29:13,438 --> 01:29:15,831
I'm retrieving something
from my utility bag.
1505
01:29:15,875 --> 01:29:18,443
It's a goddamn fanny pack...
1506
01:29:18,486 --> 01:29:21,097
and you know it,
you sick son of a bitch!
1507
01:29:21,141 --> 01:29:22,795
The difference
is night and day.
1508
01:29:24,623 --> 01:29:26,886
You remind me of my wife.
1509
01:29:26,929 --> 01:29:28,409
I'm sorry.
1510
01:29:28,453 --> 01:29:29,560
I said, "You remind me
of my wife."
1511
01:29:29,584 --> 01:29:30,944
No, I'm sorry
that you said that...
1512
01:29:30,977 --> 01:29:33,762
while making heavy eye contact
and applying lip balm.
1513
01:29:33,806 --> 01:29:34,981
She always struggled.
1514
01:29:36,112 --> 01:29:37,549
But she was funny...
1515
01:29:37,592 --> 01:29:40,943
and filtered her pain
through the prism of humor.
1516
01:29:40,987 --> 01:29:43,206
Something I could
never master.
1517
01:29:44,120 --> 01:29:46,340
It was my fault she died.
1518
01:29:47,950 --> 01:29:51,606
It was my job
to stop people like him.
1519
01:29:51,650 --> 01:29:53,608
I came close a few times.
1520
01:29:57,830 --> 01:29:59,484
He wasn't too happy
about that.
1521
01:30:01,224 --> 01:30:02,400
He was trying to hurt me...
1522
01:30:02,443 --> 01:30:04,402
and he knew exactly
how to do it.
1523
01:30:08,449 --> 01:30:10,146
Blessed are the wicked
1524
01:30:10,190 --> 01:30:11,757
who are healed by my hand.
1525
01:30:14,890 --> 01:30:17,240
He came into my home...
1526
01:30:17,284 --> 01:30:20,156
and took the only thing
that made it a home.
1527
01:30:24,378 --> 01:30:25,727
Sound familiar?
1528
01:30:26,772 --> 01:30:28,426
I'm sorry.Uh-huh.
1529
01:30:28,469 --> 01:30:30,123
No, I'm really sorry.
1530
01:30:32,342 --> 01:30:34,475
But that isn't Russell.
1531
01:30:34,519 --> 01:30:36,453
It doesn't have to be him.
If you knew what I knew...
1532
01:30:36,477 --> 01:30:38,479
Yeah, he's got anger issues...
1533
01:30:38,523 --> 01:30:40,089
maybe a small
learning disability...
1534
01:30:40,133 --> 01:30:41,526
splash of diabetes...
1535
01:30:41,569 --> 01:30:42,918
but nothing
that can't be fixed.
1536
01:30:42,962 --> 01:30:44,616
If you could go back...
1537
01:30:44,659 --> 01:30:47,357
and stop the people that took
your girl, would you?
1538
01:30:47,619 --> 01:30:48,881
No.
1539
01:30:48,924 --> 01:30:50,665
I'd buy them all
a bouquet of hand jobs.
1540
01:30:50,709 --> 01:30:52,450
Of course I fucking would!
1541
01:30:53,233 --> 01:30:54,364
But I wouldn't kill a kid.
1542
01:30:54,408 --> 01:30:56,454
I'm not asking you
to kill a kid!
1543
01:30:56,497 --> 01:30:58,064
I'll kill the kid.
1544
01:30:58,107 --> 01:31:01,589
I'm asking you to save
hundreds of other kids.
1545
01:31:01,633 --> 01:31:03,983
Russell's gonna burn down
that orphanage.
1546
01:31:04,026 --> 01:31:06,072
And I can imagine
your dead girlfriend...
1547
01:31:06,115 --> 01:31:08,378
would want you to do
the right thing, wouldn't she?
1548
01:31:09,379 --> 01:31:12,557
So, what's it gonna be,
handsome?
1549
01:31:12,600 --> 01:31:14,341
Give me a chance to save him.
1550
01:31:14,384 --> 01:31:15,821
What? You said...
1551
01:31:15,864 --> 01:31:17,538
once he kills someone,
he gets a taste for it.
1552
01:31:17,562 --> 01:31:19,912
If we can get to him
before that happens...
1553
01:31:19,955 --> 01:31:21,609
promise you'll give me
a chance
1554
01:31:21,653 --> 01:31:23,524
to put him
on a different path.
1555
01:31:23,568 --> 01:31:24,743
Define "chance."
1556
01:31:24,786 --> 01:31:26,024
I don't know.
How long does it take
1557
01:31:26,048 --> 01:31:27,417
to save someone's soul?
That's not...
1558
01:31:27,441 --> 01:31:28,703
I'll give you 30 seconds.
1559
01:31:28,747 --> 01:31:30,792
What? No! Best I can do.
1560
01:31:30,836 --> 01:31:32,141
Take it or leave it.
1561
01:31:42,587 --> 01:31:44,066
He's doing it!
1562
01:31:44,110 --> 01:31:45,720
Look at the little fella.
He's doing it.
1563
01:31:45,764 --> 01:31:47,722
There he goes.
1564
01:31:47,766 --> 01:31:49,245
Jesus Christ!
1565
01:31:49,289 --> 01:31:50,769
Just shirt-cocking it.
1566
01:31:50,812 --> 01:31:52,727
Ugh.
1567
01:31:52,771 --> 01:31:54,131
There you go, little fella.
1568
01:31:54,860 --> 01:31:56,557
Go on, you're doing it!
1569
01:31:56,601 --> 01:31:59,473
My beautiful, hairless,
Twizzler-legged baby boy.
1570
01:32:01,649 --> 01:32:02,781
Christ!
1571
01:32:02,824 --> 01:32:04,522
That's disturbing.
1572
01:32:04,565 --> 01:32:05,958
30 seconds.
1573
01:32:11,354 --> 01:32:12,834
Deal.Deal.
1574
01:32:19,275 --> 01:32:22,365
Man, that sucks they didn't
have anything in your size.
1575
01:32:22,409 --> 01:32:24,411
I really wanted to match,
you know?
1576
01:32:24,454 --> 01:32:26,500
Being a menacing team.
1577
01:32:26,544 --> 01:32:27,719
Oh, man, it sucks.
1578
01:32:27,762 --> 01:32:29,634
That was some
cold-ass shit, kid.
1579
01:32:31,026 --> 01:32:33,594
And that is just
the first five steps
1580
01:32:33,638 --> 01:32:35,335
to a prostate-assisted orgasm.
1581
01:32:36,249 --> 01:32:37,685
Where the hell
are we going?
1582
01:32:37,729 --> 01:32:39,078
You said it yourself.
1583
01:32:39,121 --> 01:32:42,037
Nothing can stop the
Juggernaut. We need backup.
1584
01:32:42,081 --> 01:32:45,040
I will bathe in the blood
of your enemies.
1585
01:32:49,175 --> 01:32:50,785
Can you turn off the music?
1586
01:32:51,786 --> 01:32:53,919
You'll do no such thing.
1587
01:32:53,962 --> 01:32:55,834
Why don't you just say it
in an Indian accent?
1588
01:32:55,877 --> 01:32:57,618
I'm sorry? Apology accepted.
1589
01:32:57,662 --> 01:32:59,751
This is a side of you
I do not like.
1590
01:32:59,794 --> 01:33:01,143
Let me guess,
1591
01:33:01,187 --> 01:33:02,686
some of your best friends
in the future are Indian.
1592
01:33:02,710 --> 01:33:03,972
What the hell are you...?
1593
01:33:04,016 --> 01:33:05,887
Once again, intolerance rears
its ugly head.
1594
01:33:05,931 --> 01:33:07,236
I am so sorry.
It gets better.
1595
01:33:07,280 --> 01:33:08,847
I'm not a fucking racist,
moron!
1596
01:33:08,890 --> 01:33:10,936
That's precisely
what a racist would say.
1597
01:33:10,979 --> 01:33:12,633
I'm with the old white guy
on this one.
1598
01:33:12,677 --> 01:33:13,939
And that's a twist.
1599
01:33:13,982 --> 01:33:15,505
When this is over...
1600
01:33:15,549 --> 01:33:17,440
I'm going to fuck you to death
with your own broken feet.
1601
01:33:17,464 --> 01:33:19,640
And a sexual predator, too.
That's rich.
1602
01:33:19,684 --> 01:33:21,076
I should have
finished college.
1603
01:33:21,120 --> 01:33:22,271
So what exactly do you
1604
01:33:22,295 --> 01:33:23,359
do in the future, anyway, huh?
1605
01:33:23,383 --> 01:33:24,645
Some kind of soldier?
1606
01:33:24,689 --> 01:33:26,516
Yeah, something like that.
1607
01:33:26,560 --> 01:33:28,736
I was a soldier.
Special Forces.
1608
01:33:28,780 --> 01:33:31,478
I bet 50 years from now,
we're bestest buddies.
1609
01:33:31,521 --> 01:33:33,523
50 years from now,
you're very dead.
1610
01:33:33,567 --> 01:33:35,961
Your entire generation fucked
this planet into a coma.
1611
01:33:36,004 --> 01:33:37,615
Boom!
1612
01:33:37,658 --> 01:33:38,920
Spoiler alert.
1613
01:33:40,139 --> 01:33:41,488
Planets.
1614
01:33:41,531 --> 01:33:43,098
Next time, Uber.
1615
01:33:43,142 --> 01:33:44,447
Here's a spoiler alert.
1616
01:33:45,623 --> 01:33:47,581
You're not a fucking hero.
1617
01:33:47,625 --> 01:33:51,672
You're just an annoying clown
dressed up as a sex toy.
1618
01:33:51,716 --> 01:33:52,910
Well, I got news for you.
1619
01:33:52,934 --> 01:33:54,283
My heart
is in the right place.
1620
01:33:54,327 --> 01:33:55,850
Russell's not
gonna kill anyone.
1621
01:33:55,894 --> 01:33:57,872
Because of me, he's gonna know
what real love looks like.
1622
01:33:57,896 --> 01:33:58,984
We're all going to die.
1623
01:33:59,027 --> 01:34:00,289
Because of you,
I'll always know
1624
01:34:00,333 --> 01:34:02,291
what a grown man
with baby balls looks like.
1625
01:34:02,335 --> 01:34:04,729
I'm a grower, not a shower.
1626
01:34:04,772 --> 01:34:05,947
God, I wish this were a bus
1627
01:34:05,991 --> 01:34:07,185
where I could pull
the string and get out.
1628
01:34:07,209 --> 01:34:08,863
It's a good thing
Cable's not driving,
1629
01:34:08,907 --> 01:34:10,125
or you'd be in the back.
1630
01:34:10,169 --> 01:34:12,519
- I am in the back.
- Right here!
1631
01:34:30,668 --> 01:34:32,713
I made mistakes!
1632
01:34:32,757 --> 01:34:34,454
I wanna take them back!
1633
01:34:34,497 --> 01:34:37,457
You trusted me.
I took that trust...
1634
01:34:37,500 --> 01:34:38,937
and turned it
into a glory hole
1635
01:34:38,980 --> 01:34:40,547
in an airport bathroom.
1636
01:34:40,590 --> 01:34:43,855
The one in Minneapolis.
You know the one.
1637
01:34:43,898 --> 01:34:46,509
But even you know I'm not
a complete piece of shit.
1638
01:34:46,553 --> 01:34:48,076
I was once an X-Man.
1639
01:34:48,120 --> 01:34:49,164
Trainee!
1640
01:34:53,821 --> 01:34:56,389
You're still using
my Velcro labels. Aw.
1641
01:34:56,432 --> 01:34:58,043
They do stick better
than tape.
1642
01:34:58,086 --> 01:34:59,131
Hi, Wade!
1643
01:34:59,174 --> 01:35:00,610
Please don't.
1644
01:35:00,654 --> 01:35:03,048
Say whatever it is you're here
to say. Make it quick.
1645
01:35:03,091 --> 01:35:04,353
Right. Quick.
1646
01:35:04,397 --> 01:35:06,114
It's the kid.
Just like you, I let him down.
1647
01:35:06,138 --> 01:35:07,574
And just like me,
1648
01:35:07,617 --> 01:35:08,769
he's never had anyone
sacrifice anything for him...
1649
01:35:08,793 --> 01:35:09,813
because the whole world
wrote him off
1650
01:35:09,837 --> 01:35:11,273
as a piece of shit
a long time ago.
1651
01:35:11,317 --> 01:35:13,014
Look, he's teamed up
with the Juggernaut!
1652
01:35:13,058 --> 01:35:14,581
The Juggernaut!
1653
01:35:14,624 --> 01:35:16,385
Who's, like, my favorite
Marvel character ever...
1654
01:35:16,409 --> 01:35:18,628
And hi, Yukio! That was really
nice of you to say hi...
1655
01:35:18,672 --> 01:35:20,021
so I'm saying hi back.
1656
01:35:20,065 --> 01:35:21,457
You guys make
a super cute couple.
1657
01:35:21,501 --> 01:35:23,198
Yeah. Where was I?
1658
01:35:23,242 --> 01:35:25,113
Oh, yeah. You should never
meet your heroes...
1659
01:35:25,157 --> 01:35:26,854
because, honestly,
he's a bit of a dick!
1660
01:35:26,898 --> 01:35:28,738
And like a lot of dicks,
he's hard as a rock...
1661
01:35:28,769 --> 01:35:30,162
and causes nothing
but problems!
1662
01:35:30,205 --> 01:35:33,078
Look, you can stop the
Juggernaut. I know you can.
1663
01:35:33,121 --> 01:35:36,342
Do you know what would happen
to me if I helped you?
1664
01:35:36,385 --> 01:35:38,474
I would be disgraced.
1665
01:35:38,518 --> 01:35:40,563
You are a criminal,
a fugitive.
1666
01:35:40,607 --> 01:35:42,130
But worst of all...
1667
01:35:42,174 --> 01:35:43,915
you broke my heart, Wade.
1668
01:35:45,612 --> 01:35:46,831
Then you know what?
1669
01:35:46,874 --> 01:35:48,474
Your heart's in
the wrong place, big guy.
1670
01:35:49,529 --> 01:35:52,227
Doing the right thing
is sometimes messy...
1671
01:35:52,271 --> 01:35:55,665
and fucked up, and not
particularly convenient!
1672
01:35:55,709 --> 01:35:58,799
So stay here
in Chateau de Virgin...
1673
01:35:58,843 --> 01:36:00,975
while we go get our fuck on!
1674
01:36:04,152 --> 01:36:05,545
You're doing great.
1675
01:36:11,203 --> 01:36:12,746
So you wear
that helmet because
1676
01:36:12,770 --> 01:36:14,510
your brother
tries to read your mind?
1677
01:36:14,554 --> 01:36:17,818
Yeah, but he's in
a wheelchair, so even-steven.
1678
01:36:17,862 --> 01:36:20,342
Someone's coming.
It's Russell, sir.
1679
01:36:20,386 --> 01:36:22,344
And he's not alone.
1680
01:36:22,388 --> 01:36:24,042
Secure the children.
1681
01:36:26,479 --> 01:36:29,221
They will not replace us.
1682
01:36:29,264 --> 01:36:32,050
What do you say
we go fuck some shit up?
1683
01:36:32,093 --> 01:36:35,923
"Let's fuck some shit up"
is my legal middle name.
1684
01:36:39,274 --> 01:36:41,886
Watch my back.
I've got the old man.
1685
01:36:41,929 --> 01:36:43,496
Amen, brother.
1686
01:36:50,024 --> 01:36:51,678
Time to make the chimichangas.
1687
01:36:51,721 --> 01:36:53,898
30 seconds.
1688
01:36:53,941 --> 01:36:56,465
I finally know why I'm here.
1689
01:36:56,509 --> 01:36:58,467
I was raised in this place.
1690
01:36:58,511 --> 01:37:00,774
Well, not raised.
I was tortured.
1691
01:37:00,818 --> 01:37:03,690
Wow! It's your cosmic reason
for being here.
1692
01:37:03,733 --> 01:37:05,039
Shall we? This is gonna be fun.
1693
01:37:05,083 --> 01:37:06,171
Yeah!
1694
01:37:06,214 --> 01:37:07,607
Hey! Been meaning
to ask you...
1695
01:37:07,650 --> 01:37:10,915
what's with the dirty,
disgusting hobo bear?
1696
01:37:10,958 --> 01:37:14,135
It's not dirt. It's the blood
of my dead daughter.
1697
01:37:14,179 --> 01:37:16,877
Are You Bear, God?
It's Me, Margaret.
1698
01:37:16,921 --> 01:37:18,357
Give me some.
1699
01:37:18,400 --> 01:37:19,967
They say
laughter heals anything...
1700
01:37:20,011 --> 01:37:21,142
except, of course, that.
1701
01:37:21,186 --> 01:37:22,404
We should just cue the music.
1702
01:37:47,560 --> 01:37:50,258
Welcome home, Russell.
We missed you.
1703
01:37:51,477 --> 01:37:52,521
Russell!
1704
01:37:52,565 --> 01:37:55,960
You don't need to do this!
Let's talk!
1705
01:37:56,003 --> 01:37:57,523
Why are you dressed
like the Unabomber?
1706
01:38:01,661 --> 01:38:02,923
That's why!
1707
01:38:02,967 --> 01:38:04,292
Told you this little fucker's
too far gone.
1708
01:38:04,316 --> 01:38:06,033
Zip it, Thanos!
We have a deal and you fuck...
1709
01:38:06,057 --> 01:38:08,537
Hey!
1710
01:38:08,581 --> 01:38:11,714
I'm gonna shove that
cab driver right up your ass.
1711
01:38:12,846 --> 01:38:15,022
My body and my hands
are so soft.
1712
01:38:15,066 --> 01:38:16,304
You should probably
head back to the car.
1713
01:38:16,328 --> 01:38:18,025
I think I'll head
back to the car.
1714
01:38:19,200 --> 01:38:21,899
It works best
when you pull the trigger.
1715
01:38:24,814 --> 01:38:26,077
That gun is amazing!
1716
01:38:27,426 --> 01:38:28,644
Say it!
1717
01:38:30,820 --> 01:38:33,867
You are an abomination!
1718
01:38:41,135 --> 01:38:44,443
Now, I'm gonna shove
the red guy up the old guy.
1719
01:38:44,486 --> 01:38:46,924
I believe him!
Every man for themselves!
1720
01:38:51,276 --> 01:38:52,364
Gotcha!
1721
01:38:53,147 --> 01:38:54,322
Beat it, midget!
1722
01:38:57,325 --> 01:39:00,415
Hey, big guy,
the sun's getting real low!
1723
01:39:00,459 --> 01:39:01,547
Oh, shit fuck!
1724
01:39:15,430 --> 01:39:16,997
Come here, beautiful.
1725
01:39:24,787 --> 01:39:25,919
Whoo!
1726
01:39:35,102 --> 01:39:36,190
Say it!
1727
01:40:59,665 --> 01:41:00,796
You came for me.
1728
01:41:00,840 --> 01:41:02,276
I'm not giving up on you,
1729
01:41:02,320 --> 01:41:04,452
and you are not
giving up on that boy.
1730
01:41:04,496 --> 01:41:06,541
Who says that rules
aren't meant to be broken?
1731
01:41:06,585 --> 01:41:08,978
It's time to fight dirty.
1732
01:41:09,022 --> 01:41:10,371
Time to sweep the leg, Johnny.
1733
01:41:10,415 --> 01:41:13,200
Hey! Pick on someone
your own size!
1734
01:41:13,244 --> 01:41:15,333
That's such
a you thing to say!
1735
01:41:15,376 --> 01:41:17,335
Go get him, tiger!
1736
01:41:17,378 --> 01:41:19,250
Big CGI fight coming up!
1737
01:41:42,316 --> 01:41:43,709
He's doing great.
1738
01:41:43,752 --> 01:41:44,971
Say it!
1739
01:41:49,149 --> 01:41:50,542
- Russell.
- Bingo!
1740
01:41:55,938 --> 01:41:57,940
You see that bus?
1741
01:41:57,984 --> 01:41:59,184
I'm gonna
shove it up your ass.
1742
01:42:02,554 --> 01:42:04,512
That's right!
I'm fighting dirty!
1743
01:42:05,426 --> 01:42:06,471
Oh, great!
1744
01:42:06,514 --> 01:42:07,926
There they are!
Those freaks!
1745
01:42:07,950 --> 01:42:10,059
A bunch of armed
pedophiles in nursing shoes.
1746
01:42:10,083 --> 01:42:12,216
Can I have
one of those guns?
1747
01:42:12,259 --> 01:42:14,087
No.That's fine.
1748
01:42:14,131 --> 01:42:16,089
Get off this property,
mutant scum!
1749
01:42:16,133 --> 01:42:17,293
I'm just gonna
use this brick.
1750
01:42:17,873 --> 01:42:18,961
Maximum effort.
1751
01:42:25,011 --> 01:42:26,752
Who says you
can't go home again?
1752
01:42:35,848 --> 01:42:37,241
Oh!
1753
01:42:43,899 --> 01:42:44,900
Yeah!
1754
01:42:47,120 --> 01:42:48,774
Say it.
1755
01:42:48,817 --> 01:42:51,864
Say what you said
every time you tortured me!
1756
01:42:52,386 --> 01:42:53,735
Say it!
1757
01:42:53,779 --> 01:42:56,477
Blessed are the wicked
who are healed by my hand!
1758
01:42:57,696 --> 01:42:59,828
Blessed are the wicked...
1759
01:42:59,872 --> 01:43:01,090
who are healed...
1760
01:43:01,569 --> 01:43:03,092
by my hand.
1761
01:43:21,154 --> 01:43:22,851
You commie motherfucker!
1762
01:43:49,922 --> 01:43:52,446
Oh, my God.
Did you feel that, too?
1763
01:43:52,490 --> 01:43:54,709
Only best buddies
execute pedophiles together.
1764
01:43:57,582 --> 01:43:59,932
You got 30 seconds,
you jabbering butt plug!
1765
01:43:59,975 --> 01:44:01,194
Now we're getting it.
1766
01:44:05,894 --> 01:44:08,157
I need a bus
to get you all out of here.
1767
01:44:13,424 --> 01:44:14,468
Orphans.
1768
01:44:15,643 --> 01:44:16,862
Oh, geez.
1769
01:44:18,298 --> 01:44:20,996
It's time to burn
for what you've done!
1770
01:44:21,040 --> 01:44:23,521
A child should not be burdened
with such power!
1771
01:44:32,356 --> 01:44:33,400
Russell! Wait!
1772
01:44:39,406 --> 01:44:40,712
Oh!
1773
01:44:47,936 --> 01:44:50,069
Wait! He hasn't killed
anyone yet!
1774
01:44:50,112 --> 01:44:52,134
What more do you need to see?
Don't you fucking dare!
1775
01:44:52,158 --> 01:44:53,333
He's just a kid!
1776
01:44:53,377 --> 01:44:55,292
Tick, tock. Meter's running!
1777
01:45:08,000 --> 01:45:11,046
I'm gonna melt you down
and make a cock ring.
1778
01:45:31,415 --> 01:45:34,069
I told you! Leave me alone! Come on!
1779
01:45:34,592 --> 01:45:35,723
Listen to me!
1780
01:45:58,964 --> 01:46:00,618
That's how we do it
1781
01:46:00,661 --> 01:46:02,141
in Mother Russia.
1782
01:46:04,361 --> 01:46:06,885
They say millennials are
the hardest to reach.
1783
01:46:08,277 --> 01:46:11,498
Oh, no.
You're doing amazing.
1784
01:46:12,804 --> 01:46:15,676
Damn, it feels good
to be a gangsta!
1785
01:46:15,720 --> 01:46:17,548
Go home, Wade!
1786
01:46:17,591 --> 01:46:19,419
You're ruining everything!
1787
01:46:24,772 --> 01:46:26,121
I'm getting good at this shit.
1788
01:46:26,165 --> 01:46:27,471
Go, go, go!
1789
01:46:30,691 --> 01:46:32,650
He dies tonight, Wade.
1790
01:46:32,693 --> 01:46:35,174
You can't stop me!
1791
01:46:35,217 --> 01:46:37,089
He even runs
like a fucking pervert.
1792
01:46:37,132 --> 01:46:39,874
Like an online predator
who lost his laptop.
1793
01:46:41,310 --> 01:46:42,790
There's one bullet left
in that gun.
1794
01:46:42,834 --> 01:46:44,836
Wait, wait, wait!
Please, just give me a second!
1795
01:46:44,879 --> 01:46:46,359
I got this.
1796
01:46:46,403 --> 01:46:48,622
Russell! Stay back! Go home, Wade!
1797
01:46:48,666 --> 01:46:51,364
Let's talk. It doesn't
have to go this way!
1798
01:46:51,408 --> 01:46:53,061
That piece of shit...
1799
01:46:53,105 --> 01:46:54,846
he deserves to die
for what he did to you.
1800
01:46:54,889 --> 01:46:58,284
He hurt you badly.
Makes you wanna hurt others.
1801
01:46:59,154 --> 01:47:00,939
But if you kill him, he wins.
1802
01:47:00,982 --> 01:47:04,856
You become everything
he says you are, but worse.
1803
01:47:04,899 --> 01:47:06,901
You're just a kid.
1804
01:47:06,945 --> 01:47:08,686
You don't wanna hurt anyone.
1805
01:47:08,729 --> 01:47:09,991
How do you know what I want?
1806
01:47:10,035 --> 01:47:11,645
Because I've been inside you.
1807
01:47:12,341 --> 01:47:14,213
That came out wrong.
1808
01:47:14,256 --> 01:47:15,954
I've been inside your shoes.
1809
01:47:15,997 --> 01:47:17,869
Which is also off-putting.
1810
01:47:17,912 --> 01:47:19,392
It's not a great analogy.
1811
01:47:19,436 --> 01:47:21,263
The point is...
1812
01:47:21,307 --> 01:47:23,004
there are people...
1813
01:47:23,048 --> 01:47:26,094
There are people
in this fucking world...
1814
01:47:26,138 --> 01:47:28,836
besides him,
who will treat you right.
1815
01:47:28,880 --> 01:47:31,491
It isn't too late.
Don't do it.
1816
01:47:37,062 --> 01:47:39,456
I never should've left
you there.
1817
01:47:41,196 --> 01:47:43,068
I never should've left you
in that prison.
1818
01:47:50,162 --> 01:47:51,468
I can't trust you.
1819
01:47:53,165 --> 01:47:55,515
I can't trust anybody!
1820
01:48:04,742 --> 01:48:06,004
Wonderful kid.
1821
01:48:06,047 --> 01:48:07,832
You can't stop me, Wade!
1822
01:48:10,051 --> 01:48:12,314
I got one more idea.
1823
01:48:12,358 --> 01:48:15,274
It's just a really bad one,
even for me.
1824
01:48:15,317 --> 01:48:16,580
Wade, what are you doing?
1825
01:48:16,623 --> 01:48:18,930
All right. This is for
all the marbles, kid!
1826
01:48:18,973 --> 01:48:21,062
You're gonna kill
someone today...
1827
01:48:21,106 --> 01:48:22,542
Blessed are the wicked...
1828
01:48:22,586 --> 01:48:24,501
...then it's gotta be me.
1829
01:48:25,589 --> 01:48:27,504
...who are healed by my hand!
1830
01:48:30,594 --> 01:48:33,031
Fuck this!
1831
01:49:33,744 --> 01:49:36,703
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1832
01:49:41,708 --> 01:49:43,231
Oh, that's not good.
1833
01:49:44,798 --> 01:49:46,234
No, sir.
1834
01:49:53,851 --> 01:49:56,767
You sacrificed yourself
for me.
1835
01:49:57,202 --> 01:49:58,377
Yeah.
1836
01:49:58,420 --> 01:50:00,640
And it was the best thing
I ever did.
1837
01:50:02,599 --> 01:50:04,688
I told you
I care about you.
1838
01:50:04,731 --> 01:50:06,515
You're a good kid, Russell.
1839
01:50:08,213 --> 01:50:09,301
Hey.
1840
01:50:10,607 --> 01:50:11,825
The bear.
1841
01:50:11,869 --> 01:50:13,261
It worked.
1842
01:50:20,225 --> 01:50:21,835
Because of you.
1843
01:50:21,879 --> 01:50:24,185
No, Wade, because of you.
1844
01:50:25,056 --> 01:50:27,145
Stop, stop, stop!
1845
01:50:27,188 --> 01:50:28,363
Stop!
1846
01:50:29,538 --> 01:50:32,498
Just let it happen, okay?
1847
01:50:32,541 --> 01:50:36,241
I guess my heart was finally
in the right place.
1848
01:50:36,284 --> 01:50:38,678
That riddle
is so fucked up.
1849
01:50:43,509 --> 01:50:45,903
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
1850
01:50:45,946 --> 01:50:47,295
Don't be. Don't be.
1851
01:50:47,339 --> 01:50:49,558
I've been trying to make
this happen for a while.
1852
01:50:49,602 --> 01:50:51,256
Please, just don't leave me.
1853
01:50:51,299 --> 01:50:52,910
I don't wanna die
without an audience.
1854
01:50:52,953 --> 01:50:54,607
We are not going anywhere.
1855
01:50:54,651 --> 01:50:56,740
Oh, God, I hope
the Academy is watching.
1856
01:50:56,783 --> 01:50:57,915
Just rest, okay?
1857
01:50:59,743 --> 01:51:00,831
Papa.
1858
01:51:03,050 --> 01:51:05,009
♪ Papa, can you hear me? ♪
1859
01:51:07,272 --> 01:51:13,278
♪ Papa, can you find me
in the night? ♪
1860
01:51:34,560 --> 01:51:36,301
Before I go...
1861
01:51:36,344 --> 01:51:38,042
Sorry, I got a bit more in me.
1862
01:51:38,651 --> 01:51:40,000
Domino.
1863
01:51:40,044 --> 01:51:44,483
I want you to have
my Adventure Timewatch.
1864
01:51:47,007 --> 01:51:49,880
Turns out
that I'm the lucky one.
1865
01:51:50,663 --> 01:51:51,751
Thank you.
1866
01:51:53,100 --> 01:51:56,364
Hey, Sabrina,
the Teenage Witch.
1867
01:51:56,408 --> 01:51:58,715
I liked you better
with your hair short.
1868
01:51:58,758 --> 01:51:59,890
Think everyone did.
1869
01:52:00,717 --> 01:52:03,458
Hi, Yukio. Hi, Wade!
1870
01:52:05,460 --> 01:52:06,548
And you...
1871
01:52:07,071 --> 01:52:09,073
Chrome Bone.
1872
01:52:09,116 --> 01:52:12,032
I haven't always been
the best friend to you.
1873
01:52:12,076 --> 01:52:14,382
But you've always been
that to me.
1874
01:52:14,426 --> 01:52:15,775
So thank you.
1875
01:52:17,951 --> 01:52:19,561
Say "fuck" for me.
1876
01:52:20,388 --> 01:52:21,694
Just once. Come on,
1877
01:52:21,738 --> 01:52:23,348
we'll do it together.
It's no big deal.
1878
01:52:23,391 --> 01:52:26,438
Here we go. One, two, three.
F... F... F...
1879
01:52:26,481 --> 01:52:27,656
Fuck.
1880
01:52:27,700 --> 01:52:30,964
Wow! Enjoy hell, swamp mouth.
1881
01:52:32,313 --> 01:52:35,403
And you, Cable.
1882
01:52:35,447 --> 01:52:39,930
You get back to your family.
You tell 'em Wade says hi.
1883
01:52:39,973 --> 01:52:43,629
And promise me.
Promise me one thing.
1884
01:52:43,672 --> 01:52:45,065
That you'll start
judging people...
1885
01:52:45,109 --> 01:52:46,501
not by the color
of their skin,
1886
01:52:46,545 --> 01:52:48,416
but by the content
of their character.
1887
01:52:49,156 --> 01:52:50,767
- Jesus.
- R-Dog?
1888
01:52:51,942 --> 01:52:54,422
There you are. Hey!
1889
01:52:54,466 --> 01:52:56,685
You're a superhero now, bubba.
1890
01:52:56,729 --> 01:52:59,732
That's why it's high time
that you had a super suit.
1891
01:52:59,776 --> 01:53:01,168
This one is yours.
1892
01:53:01,212 --> 01:53:02,953
You might wanna
get it steam cleaned.
1893
01:53:02,996 --> 01:53:04,432
Especially around the pants.
1894
01:53:04,476 --> 01:53:06,173
And let it out
a little in the waist.
1895
01:53:07,131 --> 01:53:08,132
But, hey.
1896
01:53:09,176 --> 01:53:10,525
Look.
1897
01:53:10,569 --> 01:53:13,180
Family is not an F-word.
1898
01:53:13,920 --> 01:53:15,269
All right?
1899
01:53:15,313 --> 01:53:17,750
There's one out there
for you.
1900
01:53:17,794 --> 01:53:19,491
Just keep looking, okay?
1901
01:53:22,973 --> 01:53:25,758
Guys, for a second there...
1902
01:53:26,585 --> 01:53:28,717
we made a pretty good team.
1903
01:53:43,776 --> 01:53:45,778
Oh, it's so hard to go.
1904
01:53:47,345 --> 01:53:49,651
I just love being around
you guys so much.
1905
01:53:50,739 --> 01:53:51,958
So, so much.
1906
01:53:52,698 --> 01:53:54,047
Mmm.
1907
01:53:54,091 --> 01:53:56,920
No, I can feel it now.
Here it comes, yeah.
1908
01:53:56,963 --> 01:54:00,793
I feel the soul
exiting the husk.
1909
01:54:00,837 --> 01:54:01,838
Yeah.
1910
01:54:03,709 --> 01:54:06,190
Can you see it?
1911
01:54:06,233 --> 01:54:08,409
Do you see
that beautiful bright light?
1912
01:54:09,889 --> 01:54:11,021
There it is.
1913
01:54:17,288 --> 01:54:18,550
Oh, that's the sun.
1914
01:54:18,593 --> 01:54:20,465
Don't stare
directly into that.
1915
01:54:20,508 --> 01:54:21,945
I just have a few final words.
1916
01:54:24,164 --> 01:54:25,557
Woodpecker.
1917
01:54:26,340 --> 01:54:27,689
Gingivitis.
1918
01:54:29,735 --> 01:54:31,084
Codswallop.
1919
01:54:35,436 --> 01:54:37,395
Do You Want to
Build a Snowman?
1920
01:55:52,383 --> 01:55:53,601
Sorry I'm late.
1921
01:55:53,645 --> 01:55:55,342
There was a bunch
1922
01:55:55,386 --> 01:55:56,754
of handicapable children
who were stuck in a tree.
1923
01:55:56,778 --> 01:55:58,998
No.No.
1924
01:55:59,042 --> 01:56:02,132
But I did have to help a kid.Yeah.
1925
01:56:02,175 --> 01:56:04,090
He's got a terrible name. It's just awful.
1926
01:56:04,134 --> 01:56:05,135
Ugh. I tried to tell him.
1927
01:56:07,485 --> 01:56:08,921
Is this heaven?
1928
01:56:09,791 --> 01:56:10,967
It is now.
1929
01:56:14,448 --> 01:56:16,320
I am so sorry.
1930
01:56:17,147 --> 01:56:18,496
It's okay.
1931
01:56:38,342 --> 01:56:40,213
I missed you so much.
1932
01:56:45,827 --> 01:56:47,481
What is it? What's wrong?
1933
01:56:49,396 --> 01:56:51,485
It's not time.
1934
01:56:51,529 --> 01:56:53,531
What do you mean
it's not time?
1935
01:56:53,574 --> 01:56:55,185
I'm here, I made it.
1936
01:56:55,228 --> 01:56:56,969
You can't stay. No, no, no.
1937
01:56:57,013 --> 01:56:59,667
I'm staying. I'm not going
anywhere without you.
1938
01:56:59,711 --> 01:57:01,147
It's okay.
1939
01:57:01,191 --> 01:57:04,020
There's a time for us.
It's just not now.
1940
01:57:05,064 --> 01:57:07,501
They need you. Who?
1941
01:57:09,547 --> 01:57:10,852
Your F-word.
1942
01:57:12,115 --> 01:57:13,116
Why?
1943
01:57:13,159 --> 01:57:14,160
You'll find out.
1944
01:57:15,422 --> 01:57:16,989
It's all right. I'll be here.
1945
01:57:18,338 --> 01:57:21,124
It's pretty fucking
awesome over here.
1946
01:57:21,167 --> 01:57:23,082
I can have anything I want.
1947
01:57:23,126 --> 01:57:25,258
Can every day be
International Women's Day?
1948
01:57:25,302 --> 01:57:26,868
It is heaven.
1949
01:57:26,912 --> 01:57:28,131
I love you.
1950
01:57:30,655 --> 01:57:33,397
I know. I love you, too.
1951
01:57:34,006 --> 01:57:35,399
Now, go.
1952
01:57:36,269 --> 01:57:38,271
Go on. Go, get out of here.
1953
01:57:39,316 --> 01:57:40,317
Go.
1954
01:57:43,146 --> 01:57:44,146
Hey!
1955
01:57:47,150 --> 01:57:49,282
Kiss me
like you miss me, Red.
1956
01:57:49,935 --> 01:57:51,067
Well, come here.
1957
01:58:10,390 --> 01:58:12,131
Don't fuck Elvis.
1958
01:58:12,175 --> 01:58:13,915
Ooh, too late. I'm sorry?
1959
01:58:23,403 --> 01:58:24,665
Time to make the chimichangas.
1960
01:58:24,709 --> 01:58:25,840
30 seconds.
1961
01:58:25,884 --> 01:58:27,146
Hey. Been meaning
to ask you...
1962
01:58:27,190 --> 01:58:29,670
what's with the creepy,
dirty hobo bear?
1963
01:58:29,714 --> 01:58:31,890
It's my daughter's teddy bear.
1964
01:58:31,933 --> 01:58:33,457
Her name's Hope.
1965
01:58:33,500 --> 01:58:34,632
Well...
1966
01:58:35,459 --> 01:58:37,374
What are you doing?
1967
01:58:37,417 --> 01:58:39,071
Somebody swiped right.
1968
01:58:51,823 --> 01:58:54,608
Tell me they got that
in slow motion.
1969
01:58:57,524 --> 01:58:59,309
You sacrificed
yourself for me.
1970
01:58:59,352 --> 01:59:00,875
It would seem I...
1971
01:59:03,051 --> 01:59:04,314
Huh?
1972
01:59:05,445 --> 01:59:07,795
Genuine, high-grade lead.
1973
01:59:09,710 --> 01:59:12,757
You time-sliding
son of a bitch!
1974
01:59:12,800 --> 01:59:14,367
You did this for me?
1975
01:59:16,239 --> 01:59:19,329
Wait. You can't go back.
1976
01:59:19,372 --> 01:59:20,678
You used
the last of your fuel.
1977
01:59:20,721 --> 01:59:22,462
What about your girl,
your wife?
1978
01:59:22,506 --> 01:59:25,770
Now, my family's safe.
And I didn't do it for you.
1979
01:59:27,250 --> 01:59:29,687
No, I'm gonna stick around
for a while...
1980
01:59:29,730 --> 01:59:30,992
and make sure the world
1981
01:59:31,036 --> 01:59:32,733
doesn't shit itself
into oblivion.
1982
01:59:33,430 --> 01:59:36,302
No. You did it for me.
1983
01:59:37,085 --> 01:59:38,522
No, I didn't.
1984
01:59:38,565 --> 01:59:40,001
You did. I really didn't.
1985
01:59:40,045 --> 01:59:41,885
Pretty sure you did.
No, I'm positive I didn't.
1986
01:59:41,916 --> 01:59:43,701
Fine. All right,
let's flip a coin. Okay?
1987
01:59:43,744 --> 01:59:46,486
Heads, you did it for me.
Tails, you did it for me.
1988
01:59:46,530 --> 01:59:49,315
I'm not even gonna look,
because you did it for me.
1989
01:59:49,359 --> 01:59:50,490
Say it again.
1990
01:59:50,534 --> 01:59:52,144
He did it for me. CABLE: Jesus.
1991
01:59:52,188 --> 01:59:53,991
We must get the collar off.
Forget it. It's no use.
1992
01:59:54,015 --> 01:59:55,930
These collars
don't just come off.
1993
01:59:55,974 --> 01:59:57,454
Wade.
1994
01:59:57,497 --> 01:59:59,412
I have an idea.
1995
01:59:59,456 --> 02:00:01,588
No, no, no!
Let's not do that. Please!
1996
02:00:01,632 --> 02:00:04,069
I'd rather die of cancer.
Let's just...
1997
02:00:04,112 --> 02:00:07,246
Oh, God! They do say the pen
is grosser than the sword.
1998
02:00:07,290 --> 02:00:09,596
We need the code.
1999
02:00:09,640 --> 02:00:11,555
Try, uh, seven?
2000
02:00:11,598 --> 02:00:13,209
Settle down,
Captain Lucky.
2001
02:00:13,252 --> 02:00:14,688
It's not gonna be one number.
2002
02:00:14,732 --> 02:00:15,892
Oh, God, that's lazy writing.
2003
02:00:16,821 --> 02:00:18,170
I still got it.
2004
02:00:21,217 --> 02:00:23,175
Put that back
in your prison wallet.
2005
02:00:24,872 --> 02:00:26,787
I don't know how to thank you.
2006
02:00:26,831 --> 02:00:28,746
But I do know how to hug you.
2007
02:00:28,789 --> 02:00:30,095
No.Yes.
2008
02:00:30,138 --> 02:00:31,618
Here we go. Bring it in.
2009
02:00:31,662 --> 02:00:32,750
Come on.
2010
02:00:32,793 --> 02:00:34,230
Pelvis to pelvis.
2011
02:00:34,273 --> 02:00:35,622
Let's go tip to tip.
2012
02:00:35,666 --> 02:00:38,234
There we go.
The kids call this docking.
2013
02:00:39,931 --> 02:00:41,498
Is there a knife in my dick?
2014
02:00:41,541 --> 02:00:43,345
There's a knife in your dick.
I'm just gonna back up now.
2015
02:00:43,369 --> 02:00:45,284
Yeah, yeah. No need to go full Yentl.
2016
02:00:45,328 --> 02:00:48,113
Gonna pretend
like that never happened.
2017
02:00:48,156 --> 02:00:50,071
Let's go home, Russell.
2018
02:00:53,727 --> 02:00:55,512
All you dirty mutants
2019
02:00:55,555 --> 02:00:58,123
are gonna rot in hell
with the boy!
2020
02:00:58,166 --> 02:01:01,257
Your souls
are beyond redemption!
2021
02:01:01,300 --> 02:01:02,562
Let's see your soul, perv!
2022
02:01:02,606 --> 02:01:05,435
No, no! No! No more!
We're better than that!
2023
02:01:05,478 --> 02:01:06,784
We're better than him!
2024
02:01:06,827 --> 02:01:09,439
No more senseless violence!
No more bloodshed!
2025
02:01:09,482 --> 02:01:11,092
We'll let karma
take care of him.
2026
02:01:11,136 --> 02:01:14,139
The day of reckoning is here!
2027
02:01:23,453 --> 02:01:25,542
I'm gonna miss him.
He seemed great.
2028
02:01:25,585 --> 02:01:26,804
Whoo!
2029
02:01:26,847 --> 02:01:28,458
Courage, motherfuckers!
2030
02:01:28,501 --> 02:01:29,981
And karma, motherfucker.
2031
02:01:30,024 --> 02:01:31,437
I could hear you
coming the last 30 seconds.
2032
02:01:31,461 --> 02:01:33,463
I could barely keep
a straight face.
2033
02:01:33,506 --> 02:01:35,421
I want some more.
2034
02:01:35,465 --> 02:01:37,205
I bet you do, Brown Panther.
2035
02:01:37,249 --> 02:01:40,774
We should leave
before Fuckernaut wakes up.
2036
02:01:40,818 --> 02:01:43,081
Good call.
You guys coming with us?
2037
02:01:43,124 --> 02:01:45,083
No, we'll get the kids
back to the mansion.
2038
02:01:45,126 --> 02:01:46,650
Besides, we're X-Men.
2039
02:01:46,693 --> 02:01:49,348
No, you're X-People.
2040
02:01:49,392 --> 02:01:50,741
You're exhausting.
2041
02:01:50,784 --> 02:01:52,569
I see what you did there.
Puns.
2042
02:01:52,612 --> 02:01:54,048
Our door's always open.
2043
02:01:54,092 --> 02:01:55,876
That's kind, but
I'm not ready to date again.
2044
02:01:55,920 --> 02:01:56,921
Let alone two women.
2045
02:01:58,052 --> 02:01:59,750
God, you're a douche.
2046
02:01:59,793 --> 02:02:01,926
Bye, Wade! Bye, Yukio!
2047
02:02:04,624 --> 02:02:05,930
What do you get
2048
02:02:05,973 --> 02:02:06,887
when you take
eight feet of chrome...
2049
02:02:06,931 --> 02:02:08,106
one pinch of courage...
2050
02:02:08,149 --> 02:02:09,368
a cup of good luck...
2051
02:02:09,412 --> 02:02:10,978
a dab of racism...
2052
02:02:11,022 --> 02:02:12,545
a splash of diabetes...
2053
02:02:12,589 --> 02:02:14,982
and a wheelbarrow
full of stage four cancer?
2054
02:02:15,026 --> 02:02:17,724
Answer: a family.
2055
02:02:17,768 --> 02:02:20,901
See? I didn't lie
what kind of film this was.
2056
02:02:20,945 --> 02:02:22,488
If there's anything
you take away today...
2057
02:02:22,512 --> 02:02:25,471
other than the need to Google,
"What the fuck is dubstep?"...
2058
02:02:25,515 --> 02:02:28,344
it's that we all need
to belong to someone.
2059
02:04:25,417 --> 02:04:27,158
How something
so small generates
2060
02:04:27,201 --> 02:04:28,768
enough energy
to reverse time is...
2061
02:04:28,812 --> 02:04:31,205
Oh, just fix it, Eleven,
2062
02:04:31,249 --> 02:04:33,512
or I'll take it
to the Genius Bar.
2063
02:04:33,556 --> 02:04:34,794
Cable's gonna kill you
when he finds out.
2064
02:04:34,818 --> 02:04:35,862
Never heard of him.
2065
02:04:35,906 --> 02:04:37,385
Why do you think
I'm helping him?
2066
02:04:38,648 --> 02:04:40,911
The Lord works
in mysterious ways,
2067
02:04:40,954 --> 02:04:43,217
don't I? A good day.
2068
02:04:43,957 --> 02:04:44,958
Bye, Wade!
2069
02:04:45,481 --> 02:04:46,482
Bye, Yukio!
2070
02:04:47,787 --> 02:04:50,311
That was probably a bad idea.
2071
02:04:50,355 --> 02:04:51,356
What have we done?
2072
02:05:09,896 --> 02:05:11,942
I hope we sharpened
the cream cheese spreader.
2073
02:05:22,082 --> 02:05:23,519
I'll be right back!
2074
02:05:25,521 --> 02:05:28,045
We're definitely naming
our kid Cher!
2075
02:05:28,436 --> 02:05:29,437
Whoo!
2076
02:05:31,265 --> 02:05:32,571
Peter!
2077
02:05:32,615 --> 02:05:34,181
Whoo! X-Force!
2078
02:05:34,225 --> 02:05:37,271
Walk away! Just walk away!
2079
02:05:37,315 --> 02:05:39,317
But we're X-Force! Nope! We're not.
2080
02:05:39,360 --> 02:05:40,710
X-Force is just
a marketing tool
2081
02:05:40,753 --> 02:05:42,059
designed by Fox executives...
2082
02:05:42,102 --> 02:05:43,800
to keep Josh Brolin employed.
2083
02:05:43,843 --> 02:05:45,366
It doesn't exist.
2084
02:05:45,410 --> 02:05:48,718
All right, well,
this has been pretty scary!
2085
02:05:48,761 --> 02:05:50,458
And I need to feed my cat!
2086
02:05:50,502 --> 02:05:52,983
Go home, Sugarbear. Go home.
2087
02:05:53,026 --> 02:05:56,290
Okay. Will you give
Domino my email?
2088
02:06:05,473 --> 02:06:07,345
Wade, is that you?
2089
02:06:09,608 --> 02:06:10,957
I guess Stryker finally
2090
02:06:11,001 --> 02:06:12,393
figured out
how to shut you up.
2091
02:06:18,965 --> 02:06:22,360
Hey! It's me!
Don't scratch!
2092
02:06:22,403 --> 02:06:24,449
Just cleaning up
the timelines!
2093
02:06:24,492 --> 02:06:28,322
Look, eventually you're
going to hang up the claws...
2094
02:06:28,366 --> 02:06:30,586
and it's gonna make
a lot of people very sad.
2095
02:06:30,977 --> 02:06:32,370
Huh?
2096
02:06:32,413 --> 02:06:33,739
But one day, your old pal
Wade's gonna ask you...
2097
02:06:33,763 --> 02:06:35,721
to get back
in the saddle again.
2098
02:06:36,635 --> 02:06:39,159
And when he does,
say yes.
2099
02:06:40,421 --> 02:06:42,380
Oh, right.
2100
02:06:43,294 --> 02:06:44,600
Love you!
2101
02:06:46,950 --> 02:06:48,604
Goddamn, that's beautiful.
2102
02:06:55,959 --> 02:06:57,787
You're welcome, Canada.
2103
02:07:10,321 --> 02:07:11,496
Boy howdy.
2104
02:07:13,367 --> 02:07:16,283
Hi. This is a toughie.
2105
02:07:16,327 --> 02:07:17,763
Yeesh.
2106
02:07:17,807 --> 02:07:21,201
Oh, yes. You're already
practicing your salute, huh?
2107
02:07:21,245 --> 02:07:24,074
Yes, you are. Well, we'll
take care of that, won't we?
2108
02:07:24,117 --> 02:07:26,903
Jesus Christ! This is
so much harder than I thought.
2109
02:07:27,730 --> 02:07:29,383
Oh, I'm going to hell.
2110
02:07:29,427 --> 02:07:31,124
That makes two of us.
2111
02:07:31,168 --> 02:07:32,778
You can do this.
2112
02:07:32,822 --> 02:07:35,476
This is crazy. This is crazy.
This is crazy. This is crazy.
2113
02:07:35,520 --> 02:07:36,652
All right.
2114
02:07:44,007 --> 02:07:46,400
Maximum effort.
2115
02:13:24,086 --> 02:13:26,392
That's okay.
Let me see here.
2116
02:13:26,436 --> 02:13:27,959
Oh, God.
2117
02:13:28,003 --> 02:13:29,961
That's why you're
such a little bastard.
2118
02:13:30,005 --> 02:13:32,355
No one's ever changed you.
2119
02:13:32,398 --> 02:13:35,140
Yeah, you got a big, old
stinky in there, don't you?
2120
02:13:35,184 --> 02:13:38,013
God, it smells like
Hitler's anus...
2121
02:13:38,056 --> 02:13:40,624
which would makes sense,
wouldn't it? Yeah.
2122
02:13:40,667 --> 02:13:41,842
I think we both know
2123
02:13:41,886 --> 02:13:43,298
I don't have
what it takes to do this...
2124
02:13:43,322 --> 02:13:45,498
so I'm just gonna change
your diaper real quick...
2125
02:13:45,542 --> 02:13:47,476
and then I'm gonna come back
with my friend, Cable.
2126
02:13:47,500 --> 02:13:48,893
He loves killing kids.
147897
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof