Original subtitles

Huh...?

Hey, Kuno! What the heck are you doin' here!?

Saotome...

I love you. I would date with you.

Cut it out! I'm a guy!

I'm in the bathroom...

Saotome...

I love you. I would date with you.

St-Stay away--!

Grab onto this.

In return for saving you, allow me to date with you.

Hey, stupid! Take a look at me! I'm a gu--!

Huh?

Oh, no...!

I love you. I would date with you.

I love you. I would date with you.

I love you. I would date with you.

I love you. I would date with you.

Saotome...

Stay away--!

I love you...

Kuno, you JERK!

I'm soaked with sweat.

'Morning!

Why are you taking a bath so early?

Where's Mr.Saotome?

Busy with his morning toilette, he says.

What's the big idea...

washin' your hair in the mornin' like some kinda teenager?

C'mon, I'm in a hurry! Outta the way!

Why, you--!

Now you've done it!

What'd you do that for, Old Man!?

Now, now. Can't we talk this over?

This isn't what it, uh... It's not what it seems--

So stop grabbin' me already!

What's the matter? Couldn't sleep?

I was up half the night with this disgusting dream.

Don't get too close to me, then.

Why not?

Because I think it's gross...

when people let their eyes get all puffy like that.

Yeah, well, I think it's gross when girls act like tomboys!

- So there! - Quit it.

That's a good one. Show me that face again!

No thanks. Your face beats mine hands down.

- Too bad! - Honestly!

Aha! The tomboy shows her true colors!

Hmph! You are so stupid.

Oh, great! Now we're gonna be late! Idiot!

There's Akane Tendo!

With her fiance, Ranma Saotome!

Akane Tendo! Please go out with me!

Akane, I love you!

Please, accept my love!

What's going on out here!? Class has already started!

Get back in here right--

Akane Tendo! I challenge you!

That Kuno jerk...!

Such beauty...!

Kuno falls again.

I wish you wouldn't help me like that.

I ain't doin' it for you!

This is all Kuno's fault. Oh, man. I feel sick.

You're so pathetic. Do we have to keep doing this every day?

Ah--! My darling pigtailed girl! I shall never let you go!

"Pigtailed girl"...?

No, Akane! You're mistaken! It is you whom I love!

Oh, pigtailed girl--! I plead with you... Date with me!

Please, Akane... Allow me to date with you!

Are you awake now?

That hurt, Nabiki Tendo.

Is going out with girls the only thing you ever think about?

Regretfully, I have no intention of dating with you.

From the bottom of my heart, I thank you.

Tendo School of Anything-Goes Martial Arts

I'm ho-o-o-me...!

Where's Ranma?

He went straight to bed...

the moment he got home from school.

This should be enough.

Bye!

It's warm...

Oh, no. I didn't--!

What are you doing?

Oh, nothing. Go on. Don't let me interrupt you.

Hey! That could've hurt somebody!

It's a letter!

Who is it from?

Here you go.

"Dear Nabiki Tendo..."

"'Lo, it is spring! What glories lie in store?"

"Anyway, please come to Cafe Toramaru tomorrow at noon".

"It's in the shopping center in front of the station".

"Signed, Tatewaki Kuno, age seventeen".

Are you going to go, Nabiki?

Come on in!

So what's this all about?

Why are you treating me to shiruko, Kuno-baby?

The truth is, I have a boon to beg of you.

Lest you think to mock me...

kindly consider the cost to my pride.

Do not take me lightly in this.

Aren't we all high and mighty.

If you want something, hurry up and ask me.

Very well. I shall show it to you.

It is this.

And what is this?

It's a cute little dolly.

I can see that. I mean, what's it for?

- It is a present. - No thanks.

And who said it was a present for you!?

This is for the oh-so-lovely pigtailed girl.

This is for RANMA...!?

Now look. You've made me waste my sweet-bean soup.

Now who's being high and mighty?

The point is, you've got a thing for the pigtailed girl.

I've got some pictures of her, you know.

Y-You what!?

Wanna see 'em?

Well, I, uh...

Buy me some spaghetti...

and maybe I'll let you have a look at 'em.

And why should I--!?

You're not interested, then?

Okay, here's the deal.

One shot, 1.000 yen.

How defenseless she is--!

Completely shameless, isn't she.

You'd almost think she were a boy.

But 1.000 yen per shot is utterly unfair, Nabiki Tendo!

Don't want 'em, huh?

I'll take them all!

How fickle can you be?

Poor Akane, being tossed over by you so quickly.

Who says I've tossed her over?

You mean you're gonna two-time her?

Don't be vulgar.

Akane, strong and lovely...

The pigtailed girl, bursting with healthy beauty...

They are both so dear to me, I cannot bear to part with either.

You call it deceit that I would date with them both?

I, with this strong, true heart of mine, which cannot lie?

No, Kuno-baby.

Like I said before, that's what I'd call two-timing.

What did you say!?

I had no idea...!

I've got some pics of Akane, as well.

You what!? Show them to me!

Ice cream, please.

That's not fair--!

Here you go.

One shot, 1.000 yen...

Such strength, such power...

I'll take them all.

Her features, so attractive and refined...

Her physique, how noble...

Want me to tell you the best way...

to delivery our dolly to the pigtailed girl?

You have my attention.

It's like this...

The fastest way to delivery our present to the pigtailed girl...

is to give it to Ranma.

What do you mean by that!?

Gee, what do I mean by that...?

Very well.

Here.

- What's this? - It's from Kuno-baby.

Not again.

Yeah, but this time...

It's for your boy side.

You little heart-breaker, you!

Salutations, Ranma Saotome.

So what's it now, Kuno? Whad'ya call me out here for?

You are to address me as "Upperclassman Kuno".

I said, whadda ya want already?

It is this.

But first answer me one question: Why must I give this to you?

And what the heck is this?

It's a cute little dolly.

I know that--! But why give it to me!?

That is what I wish to know, as well!

Quoth Nabiki Tendo:

"The fastest way to deliver your present to the pigtailed girl..."

"is to give it to Ranma."

What is your relationship with the pigtailed girl!?

Forget about her, will ya?

If I have anything to do with it...

she'll never appear before you again.

What did you say!?

See ya.

Hey, watch it!

There could be somebody down there, you know!

Stop worrying!

Never appear before me again...!?

And what do you mean by that!?

Ranma Saotome--!

I-It is the pigtailed girl, is it not!?

How I've longed to see you!

I shall never let you go!

H-H-H-Hot--!

Sorry, Ranma! Was that hot?

R-Ranma, you say!?

How long you plannin' on holdin' me?

Guess you must've figured it out by now.

My dark secret, I mean.

I had no idea...

Imagine, Ranma Saotome, a practitioner of the dark arts!

Where have you hidden the pigtailed girl!?

You shall not fool me with your petty trickery twice!

Aww, come on! It's not like that...

Looks like we're gonna have to spell it out. C'mere, Kuno-baby.

Just c'mere already.

Here's the thing. You listening? That girl you like?

Well, her body and her soul... they both belong to Ranma!

What!?

And you know what that means, right?

Wups! I dropped the tub!

Be more careful!

H-Her soul... and her body!?

Why, you--!

You've got this completely wrong!

Be silent, wretch!

I can imagine all too well...

what you've done to my lovely pigtailed girl--!

"Hey, pigtailed girl!"

"Eeek!"

"Heh, heh, heh. Just be quiet and do as you're told!"

"Y-Yes, master!"

"Here I co-o-o-me!"

"Oh! Oh, please... Mother!"

How tragic...!

Leave me outta your sick fantasies!

Silence, enslaver of women!

I shall smite thee! And then I shall rescue her from you!

Oh, is that right?

You sayin' that if I beat you you'll give up on the pigtailed girl?

An opening!

Hey, this is--!

Looking away in the middle of a match!?

You insult me with your inattention!

Huh? Akane!

There's one thing you ought to know!

When Kuno gets really mad about something...

he's hard to beat!

You'd better start paying more attention to your opponent...

or Upperclassman Kuno's gonna make you regret it!

There's one thing you oughta know, too!

Those blue polka-dot panties don't look that great on you.

Dry up and die--!

At last, the game ends!

Strike-strike-strike-strike strike-strike-strike-strike...!

Incredible! The sheer air-pressure alone--!

Hey, stupid! Outta the way!

I have you--!

Watch out! Eyes front--!

It's all over, Kuno.

Y-You are to address me as "U-Upperclassman..."

What did you just do?

Wow! Each strike hit a vulnerable spot!

You mean you kicked him?

I didn't see your feet move... not once!

I thought "Upperclassman" Kuno would've put up more of a fight.

I wouldn't say that if I were you!

Looks like you took a little damage yourself!.

Aww, it's nothin'.

Oh, really? Is it rea-a-a-lly nothing?

What about right here?

Honestly! "It was nothin", he says.

What was it that distracted you before, anyway?

It was this.

Wh-Where did you--!?

How disgusting!

What are you doing with these pictures of me!?

It's not me, dummy! It was Kuno who had them!

Aha! So it was you--!

Just making a little pocket money...!

Honestly!

Jeez!

Who'd want a bunch of boring snapshots like those anyway?

It's obvious that your body just ain't up to mine.

Unless you work on gettin' at least half as sexy as me...

you're never gonna catch a husband.

You come back here, Ranma!

Maybe one last shot, for posterity's sake...