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1
00:00:03,354 --> 00:00:04,721
This is so exciting.
2
00:00:04,722 --> 00:00:06,122
I can't believe we get to see
3
00:00:06,123 --> 00:00:08,350
Superman and The Flash
race around the world.
4
00:00:08,361 --> 00:00:10,927
[EXCITED GRUNT] I know. I've been
here since 4:00 in the morning.
5
00:00:10,928 --> 00:00:13,330
This is gonna be one of the
greatest rematches of all time.
6
00:00:13,331 --> 00:00:14,964
We're talking Ali/Frazier,
7
00:00:14,965 --> 00:00:18,067
or that time David Blaine
outlasted Aquaman in a bathtub.
8
00:00:18,068 --> 00:00:20,937
Do you really think The Flash
is going to stop to hydrate?
9
00:00:20,938 --> 00:00:22,038
He might.
10
00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:24,023
Oh, my shoelace.
11
00:00:24,024 --> 00:00:25,325
- [WHOOSHES]
- [LAUGHTER]
12
00:00:25,326 --> 00:00:26,893
That was awesome!
13
00:00:26,894 --> 00:00:29,296
No!
14
00:00:29,387 --> 00:00:32,722
"Thanks for the H2O, The Flash"!
15
00:00:32,723 --> 00:00:34,591
[GASPS] You da man, The Flash!
16
00:00:34,592 --> 00:00:38,395
- Whoo!
- [HEROIC MUSIC]
17
00:00:38,396 --> 00:00:42,536
♪
18
00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:05,000
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
19
00:01:06,890 --> 00:01:08,591
[CHEERY BASS MUSIC]
20
00:01:08,592 --> 00:01:12,962
Jackie, did you confirm
my reservation for brunch?
21
00:01:12,963 --> 00:01:15,532
Ooh, does my nose deceive me?
22
00:01:15,533 --> 00:01:18,935
Or is that an en [SNIFFS]...
chanting new scent I smell?
23
00:01:18,936 --> 00:01:21,504
- Who's the lucky lady?
- Bruce Wayne.
24
00:01:21,505 --> 00:01:23,773
My cousin has finally found
some time in his schedule.
25
00:01:23,774 --> 00:01:25,007
No more cancellations.
26
00:01:25,008 --> 00:01:26,943
Uh, Jackie, tell the
restaurant to make sure that
27
00:01:26,944 --> 00:01:28,878
the Mariachi band brings
an extra guitar for me.
28
00:01:28,879 --> 00:01:31,080
And if it is not tuned,
so help me, God...
29
00:01:31,081 --> 00:01:34,317
Don't worry. I'm sure that Bruce
Wayne is just as nervous as you are.
30
00:01:34,318 --> 00:01:35,918
I'm not nervous. [SPITS]
31
00:01:35,919 --> 00:01:37,854
Bad news, Teddy. Corporate called,
32
00:01:37,855 --> 00:01:39,356
and they want you to redo those sketches
33
00:01:39,357 --> 00:01:40,757
on the home security line.
34
00:01:40,758 --> 00:01:43,760
[GROANS] Ah, those
sketches were perfect.
35
00:01:43,761 --> 00:01:45,161
You know what, if I had your job,
36
00:01:45,162 --> 00:01:47,497
I would tell Corporate to kiss my ass,
37
00:01:47,498 --> 00:01:49,632
and if Van were here, I'd
tell him to kiss my ass too.
38
00:01:49,633 --> 00:01:50,967
I am here.
39
00:01:50,968 --> 00:01:53,603
Looking forward to getting to
work on those sketches, sir.
40
00:01:53,604 --> 00:01:55,338
- Oh!
- Just so you know,
41
00:01:55,339 --> 00:01:56,873
I'm taking a two-hour lunch break.
42
00:01:56,874 --> 00:01:59,108
I would love to say yes,
but that's against the rules.
43
00:01:59,109 --> 00:02:00,643
But it's an emergency!
44
00:02:00,644 --> 00:02:02,645
There are some kids in
the park doing 'shrooms,
45
00:02:02,646 --> 00:02:04,547
and I wanna dress in old-timey clothes
46
00:02:04,548 --> 00:02:06,583
and pretend I'm a time
traveler to freak 'em out.
47
00:02:06,584 --> 00:02:08,351
Yeah, that's not an emergency.
48
00:02:08,352 --> 00:02:12,154
[LAUGHS] Um, obviously, you
have never seen a guy on 'shrooms
49
00:02:12,155 --> 00:02:16,259
attack a convenience store
because Joan of Arc told him to.
50
00:02:16,260 --> 00:02:17,860
Fine, take an extra half hour.
51
00:02:17,861 --> 00:02:23,334
[GASPS] Oh, I am eternally
indebted to you, my lady.
52
00:02:25,569 --> 00:02:28,905
As long as I work here,
I will never get her.
53
00:02:28,906 --> 00:02:30,273
Do you want to?
54
00:02:30,274 --> 00:02:31,808
Tighter, Dorothy!
55
00:02:31,809 --> 00:02:33,042
Tighter!
56
00:02:33,043 --> 00:02:34,611
Come on! [GRUNTS]
57
00:02:34,612 --> 00:02:36,713
Oh, no, no, it's, uh, it's okay.
58
00:02:36,714 --> 00:02:38,014
No, no, you know what? I didn't even
59
00:02:38,015 --> 00:02:39,916
remember that we had plans, you know?
60
00:02:39,917 --> 00:02:42,752
Bruce... yeah... okay, he hung up.
61
00:02:42,753 --> 00:02:45,455
Um, you know, cancel the reservation.
62
00:02:45,456 --> 00:02:49,025
Oh, honey, I never made it.
63
00:02:49,026 --> 00:02:50,827
- [FEMALE NEWS ANCHOR SPEAKS]
- Uh, you guys?
64
00:02:50,828 --> 00:02:52,462
Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist
65
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,764
and girlfriend of Superman Lois Lane
66
00:02:54,765 --> 00:02:57,434
- has been killed.
- Awesome!
67
00:02:57,435 --> 00:03:00,102
We'll have more as details come in.
68
00:03:00,103 --> 00:03:01,938
Let me show you something.
69
00:03:01,939 --> 00:03:04,006
[KEYBOARD CLICKING]
70
00:03:04,007 --> 00:03:06,376
Crackpot scientists
and conspiracy theorists
71
00:03:06,377 --> 00:03:09,045
both agree that Lois
Lane has died before,
72
00:03:09,046 --> 00:03:12,615
but Superman flew
around the world so fast
73
00:03:12,616 --> 00:03:15,151
that he turned back time to save her.
74
00:03:15,152 --> 00:03:16,986
Pretty sure the science
doesn't check out on that.
75
00:03:16,987 --> 00:03:20,490
Oh, I'm gonna thank you
in advance for saying that.
76
00:03:20,491 --> 00:03:22,925
Oh, yes, the science totally checks out.
77
00:03:22,926 --> 00:03:26,162
If a man could fly fast
enough around the Earth,
78
00:03:26,163 --> 00:03:27,930
he would reverse its rotation,
79
00:03:27,931 --> 00:03:32,335
and time would rewind,
like an old videotape.
80
00:03:32,336 --> 00:03:34,003
And you know what this means?
81
00:03:34,004 --> 00:03:35,772
Anything we do from now
82
00:03:35,773 --> 00:03:39,041
until Superman turns
back time doesn't matter!
83
00:03:39,042 --> 00:03:41,944
There's no consequences!
84
00:03:41,945 --> 00:03:44,080
[GIGGLES]
85
00:03:44,081 --> 00:03:45,482
[GROANS]
86
00:03:45,483 --> 00:03:47,049
Ooh... [CHUCKLES]... okay.
87
00:03:47,050 --> 00:03:49,452
Sorry, Steve, just
trying to prove a point.
88
00:03:49,543 --> 00:03:52,178
Of course. Just happy to be included.
89
00:03:52,179 --> 00:03:53,646
[GROANS]
90
00:03:53,647 --> 00:03:56,215
This is nuts. Why should
we believe that guy?
91
00:03:56,216 --> 00:03:57,784
This just in.
92
00:03:57,785 --> 00:03:59,886
Noble Prize-winning astrophysicist
93
00:03:59,887 --> 00:04:03,322
Stephen Hawking has used
his motorized wheelchair
94
00:04:03,323 --> 00:04:06,526
to push Neil deGrasse
Tyson into traffic.
95
00:04:06,527 --> 00:04:10,429
Witnesses claim that just
before the senseless murder,
96
00:04:10,430 --> 00:04:11,698
Hawking said,
97
00:04:11,699 --> 00:04:16,469
"Die... you... hack."
98
00:04:16,470 --> 00:04:18,404
- It's No Consequence day!
- Mm-hmm.
99
00:04:18,405 --> 00:04:19,539
- [GASPS]
- [GRUNTS]
100
00:04:19,540 --> 00:04:21,407
[LAUGHTER]
101
00:04:21,408 --> 00:04:24,410
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
102
00:04:24,411 --> 00:04:26,312
♪
103
00:04:26,313 --> 00:04:28,280
All right, get it over with.
104
00:04:28,281 --> 00:04:30,349
♪
105
00:04:30,350 --> 00:04:31,551
Oh!
106
00:04:31,552 --> 00:04:37,189
♪
107
00:04:37,190 --> 00:04:40,860
Hi, Charm City Zoo?
How much to buy a lion?
108
00:04:40,861 --> 00:04:42,695
Oh, I'm not a zoo myself. [CHUCKLES]
109
00:04:42,696 --> 00:04:45,197
You don't need to know
what I'm gonna do with it!
110
00:04:45,198 --> 00:04:47,900
Ron, I'm Postmating some foie graviar.
111
00:04:47,901 --> 00:04:49,502
It's where they
force-feed a goose caviar.
112
00:04:49,503 --> 00:04:50,937
You want me to get a second tub for ya?
113
00:04:50,938 --> 00:04:52,905
Oh, sorry, buddy, but I'm on my way out.
114
00:04:52,906 --> 00:04:55,007
You know I've always
wanted to own a pug,
115
00:04:55,008 --> 00:04:57,343
but I never been able
to pull the trigger.
116
00:04:57,344 --> 00:04:59,946
But today, caution to the wind.
117
00:04:59,947 --> 00:05:02,915
- I'm getting a pug.
- [CHUCKLES] Suit yourself.
118
00:05:02,916 --> 00:05:05,985
All right, Van, I'm drinking
the $900 Scotch in your office.
119
00:05:05,986 --> 00:05:09,121
It does pair well with the foie graviar.
120
00:05:09,122 --> 00:05:11,524
You know, the point of
this day is lost on me.
121
00:05:11,525 --> 00:05:13,359
I already act on every impulse,
122
00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:16,128
no matter how childish
or wanton it might be.
123
00:05:16,129 --> 00:05:17,396
Oh, that reminds me.
124
00:05:17,397 --> 00:05:18,898
That painting that you commissioned
125
00:05:18,899 --> 00:05:21,433
with your head on Jason Momoa's body?
126
00:05:21,434 --> 00:05:23,035
- It's here.
- Oh, goodie!
127
00:05:23,036 --> 00:05:25,437
[BRIGHT MUSIC]
128
00:05:25,438 --> 00:05:27,106
See? I want for nothing.
129
00:05:27,107 --> 00:05:29,842
You still can't get Bruce
Wayne to have lunch with you.
130
00:05:29,843 --> 00:05:31,844
- [FLOWERPOT SHATTERS]
- You're right,
131
00:05:31,845 --> 00:05:33,646
and that is all that I want.
132
00:05:33,647 --> 00:05:36,015
I'm gonna make Bruce Wayne pay for this.
133
00:05:36,016 --> 00:05:37,950
Ah! And not in the way
134
00:05:37,951 --> 00:05:39,652
that Waynes usually pay for
things, with money and jewels.
135
00:05:39,653 --> 00:05:42,388
No, in a more threatening
kind of revenge way.
136
00:05:42,389 --> 00:05:43,923
Jackie, ideas?
137
00:05:43,924 --> 00:05:45,592
- Go [BLEEP] yourself.
- What?
138
00:05:45,593 --> 00:05:47,226
I'm doing nothing today.
139
00:05:47,227 --> 00:05:50,797
I'm going to sit and relax and
not lift a finger for my kid
140
00:05:50,798 --> 00:05:53,700
or any of you other monsters.
141
00:05:53,701 --> 00:05:56,903
Fine, I'll do this myself.
142
00:05:56,904 --> 00:05:59,939
Ooh, and what's Ms. Moral
Compass gonna do today?
143
00:05:59,940 --> 00:06:01,808
Return a library book a day late?
144
00:06:01,809 --> 00:06:04,176
[GASPS] Buy a full-priced
item at Anthropologie.
145
00:06:04,177 --> 00:06:06,478
Well, I'd really like
to get front-row seats
146
00:06:06,479 --> 00:06:09,682
to that European alt-circus,
but it's $1,000, and...
147
00:06:09,683 --> 00:06:12,051
Oh, my God, you're killing me.
148
00:06:12,052 --> 00:06:14,921
You know what I am going
to do while I figure it out?
149
00:06:14,922 --> 00:06:18,858
Eat a whole chocolate muffin by myself.
150
00:06:18,859 --> 00:06:20,793
[DYNAMIC PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
151
00:06:20,794 --> 00:06:22,729
Do I wanna watch her die?
152
00:06:22,730 --> 00:06:26,398
No. She'd be so squeaky.
153
00:06:26,399 --> 00:06:27,433
Huh...
154
00:06:27,434 --> 00:06:29,268
- Excuse me?
- Uh-huh?
155
00:06:29,269 --> 00:06:30,603
Are you in charge here?
156
00:06:30,604 --> 00:06:32,271
I don't know. Do I look like an idiot?
157
00:06:32,272 --> 00:06:34,641
[LAUGHS]
158
00:06:34,642 --> 00:06:36,308
Hmm.
159
00:06:36,309 --> 00:06:37,977
Mmm?
160
00:06:37,978 --> 00:06:39,846
Uh, subtle note of graphite.
161
00:06:39,847 --> 00:06:41,580
I'm sorry, I was looking for Van.
162
00:06:41,581 --> 00:06:43,282
Oh, Van's gone.
163
00:06:43,283 --> 00:06:46,485
Wait, you're from Corporate, right?
164
00:06:46,486 --> 00:06:48,087
I am.
165
00:06:48,088 --> 00:06:53,125
I'm glad you're here,
because you can kiss my ass.
166
00:06:53,126 --> 00:06:55,628
Excuse me? Who are you talking...
167
00:06:55,629 --> 00:06:56,963
- Shut up.
- Okay.
168
00:06:56,964 --> 00:06:58,564
Why would people want
a separate mobile device
169
00:06:58,565 --> 00:06:59,866
to check their home security cameras
170
00:06:59,867 --> 00:07:01,433
when they already have a phone, dummy?
171
00:07:01,434 --> 00:07:05,337
That's why we sent you
a design for an app.
172
00:07:05,338 --> 00:07:06,939
You're absolutely right.
173
00:07:06,940 --> 00:07:08,641
I wanted to tell my boss the same thing,
174
00:07:08,642 --> 00:07:10,476
but, I'm afraid of candor.
175
00:07:10,477 --> 00:07:12,611
Hey, how'd you like to come
to this meeting we're having
176
00:07:12,612 --> 00:07:14,446
and, um, tell him for me?
177
00:07:14,447 --> 00:07:16,048
Uh, why not?
178
00:07:16,049 --> 00:07:17,917
I like you. [CHUCKLES]
179
00:07:17,918 --> 00:07:20,619
You're gonna do great. Come on.
180
00:07:20,620 --> 00:07:22,621
Mmm... [GAGS]
181
00:07:22,622 --> 00:07:24,423
All graphite.
182
00:07:24,424 --> 00:07:27,159
I'll have a chocolate
muffin with all the gluten,
183
00:07:27,160 --> 00:07:29,028
and, uh, you know, what the hell.
184
00:07:29,029 --> 00:07:33,900
I will have a small... no,
grande latte with whole milk.
185
00:07:33,901 --> 00:07:35,702
- Okay.
- Yeah, you heard me.
186
00:07:35,703 --> 00:07:38,137
Ugh, you are bumming me out.
187
00:07:38,138 --> 00:07:40,840
Here. Here's $1,000.
188
00:07:40,841 --> 00:07:43,342
Go see your creepy Euro circus.
189
00:07:43,343 --> 00:07:44,343
Oh, my God.
190
00:07:44,344 --> 00:07:47,379
Wendy, where did you get all this money?
191
00:07:47,380 --> 00:07:48,748
[WHISPERS] Did you steal it?
192
00:07:48,749 --> 00:07:51,851
Yeah, I stole it from my drug dealer...
193
00:07:51,852 --> 00:07:56,288
- [SIGHS]
- But not before I bought this.
194
00:07:56,289 --> 00:07:58,090
Wendy, we are in public.
195
00:07:58,091 --> 00:08:00,359
[CHUCKLES] It doesn't
matter today, remember?
196
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,395
Or are you such a square,
you've never passed a dutchie?
197
00:08:03,396 --> 00:08:04,964
Oh... [SCOFFS]... no,
198
00:08:04,965 --> 00:08:08,735
I have gotten so high on marijuana.
199
00:08:08,736 --> 00:08:11,203
It would just kill the buzz, you know,
200
00:08:11,204 --> 00:08:13,605
to do it with all these nerds watching.
201
00:08:13,606 --> 00:08:15,241
Mm-hmm.
202
00:08:15,242 --> 00:08:16,876
[CHEERY MUSIC]
203
00:08:16,877 --> 00:08:18,044
You know what, fine,
204
00:08:18,045 --> 00:08:19,511
I will take a little hit of this...
205
00:08:19,512 --> 00:08:22,414
Are you seriously smoking
marijuana in broad daylight?
206
00:08:22,415 --> 00:08:25,117
[TENSE ORCHESTRAL MUSIC]
207
00:08:25,118 --> 00:08:28,087
And you just threw
it at a bunch of kids.
208
00:08:28,088 --> 00:08:30,457
You're definitely under arrest.
209
00:08:36,496 --> 00:08:39,866
Well, I went to the pet store,
but I just couldn't choose,
210
00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:41,667
and countless Disney
films have taught me
211
00:08:41,668 --> 00:08:44,370
it is wrong to break up a family.
212
00:08:44,371 --> 00:08:46,605
So...
213
00:08:46,606 --> 00:08:48,875
I got all the pugs! [GIGGLES]
214
00:08:48,876 --> 00:08:50,810
Ooh! Come here, guys.
215
00:08:50,811 --> 00:08:52,611
Come to me.
216
00:08:52,612 --> 00:08:53,946
[LAUGHS]
217
00:08:53,947 --> 00:08:56,482
Okay, let me introduce you to the squad.
218
00:08:56,483 --> 00:08:59,886
We got Elvis Pugsley, Frederick Puglass,
219
00:08:59,887 --> 00:09:04,256
Bone Pugs-N-Harmony, and of course,
220
00:09:04,257 --> 00:09:06,192
Ron Jr.
221
00:09:06,193 --> 00:09:07,359
[GIGGLES]
222
00:09:07,360 --> 00:09:09,695
[GASPS] Ooh! Jackie,
will you get Ron Jr.?
223
00:09:09,696 --> 00:09:12,264
[SIGHS] This is my day, Ron.
224
00:09:12,265 --> 00:09:15,267
I've decided not to
toilet-paper Bruce Wayne's house.
225
00:09:15,268 --> 00:09:16,668
It's beneath me.
226
00:09:16,669 --> 00:09:18,370
You couldn't figure out
where to buy toilet paper.
227
00:09:18,371 --> 00:09:20,773
And they laughed at me when I asked!
228
00:09:20,774 --> 00:09:23,943
I just need to find another
way to humiliate Bruce.
229
00:09:23,944 --> 00:09:26,045
- Ron...
- [CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS]
230
00:09:26,046 --> 00:09:28,280
I'm going to need those puppies.
231
00:09:28,281 --> 00:09:30,382
You're not gonna make a
coat out of them, are you?
232
00:09:30,383 --> 00:09:32,985
Please, those aren't
coat-quality puppies.
233
00:09:32,986 --> 00:09:35,021
How dare you!
234
00:09:35,022 --> 00:09:37,223
[IMITATES SCOOPING] Mmm.
235
00:09:37,224 --> 00:09:39,792
Which brings me to the biggest
problem with this company,
236
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:41,327
you dildos.
237
00:09:41,328 --> 00:09:44,430
- Mmm, what's your division?
- Investor Relations.
238
00:09:44,431 --> 00:09:46,632
- Useless. You?
- Community Outreach.
239
00:09:46,633 --> 00:09:47,900
Garbage words.
240
00:09:47,901 --> 00:09:49,001
See, this is what I'm talking about.
241
00:09:49,002 --> 00:09:50,336
Every time I make a product,
242
00:09:50,337 --> 00:09:52,504
it has to be approved by
14 different divisions.
243
00:09:52,505 --> 00:09:54,773
By the time it finally
comes out, it's obsolete.
244
00:09:54,774 --> 00:09:56,175
Why are we letting some low-level...
245
00:09:56,176 --> 00:09:59,645
- I have a question.
- Yes?
246
00:09:59,646 --> 00:10:02,414
Where has Van been hiding you?
247
00:10:02,415 --> 00:10:05,017
♪
248
00:10:05,018 --> 00:10:07,386
Uh, excuse me, Officer?
249
00:10:07,387 --> 00:10:09,956
Hi, I am so sorry.
250
00:10:09,957 --> 00:10:14,393
We... I have never
been in trouble before.
251
00:10:14,394 --> 00:10:15,895
But Lois Lane died,
252
00:10:15,896 --> 00:10:18,364
and Superman's going to rewind time.
253
00:10:18,365 --> 00:10:19,731
Yeah.
254
00:10:19,732 --> 00:10:21,200
So are we free to leave? [LAUGHS]
255
00:10:21,201 --> 00:10:23,369
- Don't worry, I got this.
- [SIGHS]
256
00:10:23,370 --> 00:10:27,173
Hey, Officer, I think
we can clear this all up
257
00:10:27,174 --> 00:10:30,910
if we just step into
that closet over there.
258
00:10:30,911 --> 00:10:32,211
- Huh?
- [BARS SLAMMING]
259
00:10:32,212 --> 00:10:34,480
I wasn't gonna do you or anything.
260
00:10:34,481 --> 00:10:38,050
I was just gonna bribe
you with this $1,000!
261
00:10:38,051 --> 00:10:40,286
- Just stop.
- [GRUNTS]
262
00:10:40,287 --> 00:10:42,388
This is what I get for
hanging out with you.
263
00:10:42,389 --> 00:10:45,157
[SIGHS] I am so sick of
you judging me all the time.
264
00:10:45,158 --> 00:10:47,626
"Wendy's weird. Wendy's a freak.
265
00:10:47,627 --> 00:10:48,961
Wendy wears sweaters
266
00:10:48,962 --> 00:10:51,530
that I could only dream of pulling off."
267
00:10:51,531 --> 00:10:52,831
I'm not judging you.
268
00:10:52,832 --> 00:10:55,201
What you do is objectively weird.
269
00:10:55,202 --> 00:10:57,904
I've seen you comb your
hair with a handful of forks.
270
00:10:57,905 --> 00:10:58,905
Yeah?
271
00:10:58,906 --> 00:11:01,073
I mean, you just tried to
bribe a cop with stolen money.
272
00:11:01,074 --> 00:11:02,508
You don't know me.
273
00:11:02,509 --> 00:11:06,012
And I did not steal
that money. I'm rich.
274
00:11:06,013 --> 00:11:08,680
My family owns Puanteur Cosmetics.
275
00:11:08,681 --> 00:11:10,349
They operate the largest facility
276
00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:13,452
for testing cosmetics on
chimpanzees in the world.
277
00:11:13,453 --> 00:11:15,154
Wasn't that just named "Forbes'
278
00:11:15,155 --> 00:11:17,256
Most Cartoonishly Evil Company of 2016"?
279
00:11:17,257 --> 00:11:18,857
Mm-hmm, and that was before
280
00:11:18,858 --> 00:11:20,792
they got into fracking and ivory.
281
00:11:20,793 --> 00:11:22,228
Oh.
282
00:11:22,229 --> 00:11:23,662
I haven't spoken to them in eight years.
283
00:11:23,663 --> 00:11:26,065
I wish I could say it
was because they're evil,
284
00:11:26,066 --> 00:11:28,234
but really, it's because
they always thought
285
00:11:28,235 --> 00:11:32,171
they were better than me, just like you.
286
00:11:32,172 --> 00:11:35,442
[SIGHS] I do not...
287
00:11:36,944 --> 00:11:40,046
Okay, maybe I do.
288
00:11:40,047 --> 00:11:42,814
Look, I'm really sorry.
289
00:11:42,815 --> 00:11:43,950
And you're right.
290
00:11:43,951 --> 00:11:46,552
I could never pull off that sweater.
291
00:11:46,553 --> 00:11:49,055
And I never realized
that about your family.
292
00:11:49,056 --> 00:11:51,257
I'm even distantly related to Van.
293
00:11:51,258 --> 00:11:53,859
I think that's why I
find him so attractive.
294
00:11:53,860 --> 00:11:55,727
[WHISPERS] Our secret.
295
00:11:55,728 --> 00:11:56,828
Oh.
296
00:11:56,829 --> 00:11:59,231
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
297
00:11:59,232 --> 00:12:01,833
Just put it by the
window, boys. [LAUGHS]
298
00:12:01,834 --> 00:12:04,136
I don't understand why Emily's
so stressed all the time.
299
00:12:04,137 --> 00:12:06,038
Being the boss is easy.
300
00:12:06,039 --> 00:12:08,274
Excuse me, I'm looking for Teddy.
301
00:12:08,275 --> 00:12:10,876
- I'm his new secretary.
- That is I.
302
00:12:10,877 --> 00:12:12,378
- Hello.
- [DOG WHINES]
303
00:12:12,379 --> 00:12:15,481
Oh, I was just thinking
the same thing, Ron Jr.
304
00:12:15,482 --> 00:12:19,185
Since when does Teddy have a secretary?
305
00:12:19,186 --> 00:12:20,919
Jackie, I need you to mail
306
00:12:20,920 --> 00:12:22,854
this box of doggy
doo-doo to Bruce Wayne.
307
00:12:22,855 --> 00:12:24,356
Go [BLEEP] yourself.
308
00:12:24,357 --> 00:12:27,393
Fine, just tell me where
the square stickers are.
309
00:12:27,394 --> 00:12:30,396
[SIGHS] They're called stamps, Van.
310
00:12:30,397 --> 00:12:31,930
Yeah, um...
311
00:12:31,931 --> 00:12:36,135
Siri, where are stamps?
312
00:12:36,136 --> 00:12:38,804
Van, even if you send Bruce dog poo,
313
00:12:38,805 --> 00:12:41,540
his butler is gonna open
it before he even sees it.
314
00:12:41,541 --> 00:12:43,942
The only way that you're
gonna get satisfaction
315
00:12:43,943 --> 00:12:47,179
is by calling him and telling him off.
316
00:12:47,180 --> 00:12:49,348
You're right.
317
00:12:49,349 --> 00:12:52,985
Well, I finally figured out
how to tell you guys apart.
318
00:12:52,986 --> 00:12:54,486
Wait a minute.
319
00:12:54,487 --> 00:12:57,689
Ron Jr., why are you wearing
Elvis Pugsley's shirt?
320
00:12:57,690 --> 00:13:00,359
[CHUCKLES] Oh, you're a prankster.
321
00:13:00,360 --> 00:13:04,196
Wait, you went to camp
at Lake Winniehaha?
322
00:13:04,197 --> 00:13:07,499
I was at the rich camp, Camp Oso de Oro.
323
00:13:07,500 --> 00:13:09,568
And we would shoot crossbows at you.
324
00:13:09,569 --> 00:13:11,370
- Oh, my God, that was you?
- [LAUGHS] Yeah.
325
00:13:11,371 --> 00:13:12,904
You guys were cool.
326
00:13:12,905 --> 00:13:14,340
I remember being so jealous,
327
00:13:14,341 --> 00:13:16,375
because it seemed like you
did whatever you wanted.
328
00:13:16,376 --> 00:13:18,210
Well, you could have too.
329
00:13:18,211 --> 00:13:21,247
Yeah, but it always
seemed like there'd be c...
330
00:13:21,248 --> 00:13:22,881
consequences.
331
00:13:22,882 --> 00:13:24,150
That's it.
332
00:13:24,151 --> 00:13:25,751
Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
333
00:13:25,752 --> 00:13:28,220
That we kill ourselves to see
what the afterlife is all about
334
00:13:28,221 --> 00:13:30,322
before time goes back?
335
00:13:30,323 --> 00:13:32,591
I was thinking we break out of here.
336
00:13:32,592 --> 00:13:34,160
Oh, well, let's start with that,
337
00:13:34,161 --> 00:13:36,262
and play it by ear.
338
00:13:36,263 --> 00:13:38,264
Oh, boo-hoo. "My parents were murdered,
339
00:13:38,265 --> 00:13:40,099
and now I can't make
meaningful connections
340
00:13:40,100 --> 00:13:42,068
with my family members."
You know something?
341
00:13:42,069 --> 00:13:44,936
You are arrogant, and you're a D-bag!
342
00:13:44,937 --> 00:13:46,505
- No.
- No, you...
343
00:13:46,506 --> 00:13:48,740
Tell him what he means to you.
344
00:13:48,741 --> 00:13:54,080
Yeah, you freakin' rule, man!
345
00:13:54,081 --> 00:13:55,947
You do. I mean, you crush models,
346
00:13:55,948 --> 00:13:58,617
and you drive really cool cars.
347
00:13:58,618 --> 00:14:01,920
I've always looked up to
you ever since I was little.
348
00:14:01,921 --> 00:14:03,455
You know, I don't even
think of you like a cousin.
349
00:14:03,456 --> 00:14:06,024
I think of you as a cuz-bro.
350
00:14:06,025 --> 00:14:08,094
You my cuz-bro.
351
00:14:08,095 --> 00:14:10,028
I worship you,
352
00:14:10,029 --> 00:14:13,965
and you treat me like
I don't even exist!
353
00:14:13,966 --> 00:14:16,803
So go [BLEEP] yourself, you...
354
00:14:18,605 --> 00:14:20,072
I did it!
355
00:14:20,073 --> 00:14:24,110
Hurry, my friend is gonna
throw up from all the drugs.
356
00:14:24,111 --> 00:14:26,378
- [MOANING]
- Please don't.
357
00:14:26,379 --> 00:14:27,713
Ladies' room is down
the hall to the left.
358
00:14:27,714 --> 00:14:29,248
We're breaking out of this joint!
359
00:14:29,249 --> 00:14:31,583
- [LAUGHS]
- We know where you live.
360
00:14:31,584 --> 00:14:33,519
Not after today, you won't!
361
00:14:33,520 --> 00:14:34,820
[LAUGHS]
362
00:14:34,821 --> 00:14:36,622
Ooh! I'm stealing your donuts!
363
00:14:36,623 --> 00:14:39,291
It's not a stereotype if it's true!
364
00:14:39,292 --> 00:14:40,792
A shocking development.
365
00:14:40,793 --> 00:14:43,129
We now go live to Lois Lane's funeral.
366
00:14:43,130 --> 00:14:45,063
Wait, why is Superman at the funeral?
367
00:14:45,064 --> 00:14:46,432
No, no, no, no, no,
368
00:14:46,433 --> 00:14:47,866
he's supposed to be turning back time.
369
00:14:47,867 --> 00:14:51,903
Superman appears to have brought a date.
370
00:14:51,904 --> 00:14:54,873
The Man of Steel's eyes
are suspiciously dry,
371
00:14:54,874 --> 00:14:58,610
as they lower Lois Lane's
casket into the ground.
372
00:14:58,611 --> 00:15:00,579
You guys are in big trouble.
373
00:15:00,580 --> 00:15:03,782
He's not turning back time?
Why did I listen to you people?
374
00:15:03,783 --> 00:15:05,751
Of course he's not going back to save
375
00:15:05,752 --> 00:15:06,885
his career woman girlfriend.
376
00:15:06,886 --> 00:15:08,387
She's probably become too harsh,
377
00:15:08,388 --> 00:15:10,656
because of having
ideas and her own money.
378
00:15:10,657 --> 00:15:12,624
Do you understand what this means?
379
00:15:12,625 --> 00:15:15,127
- I chewed out Bruce Wayne!
- [DING]
380
00:15:15,128 --> 00:15:17,463
- This is too many pugs!
- [DING]
381
00:15:17,464 --> 00:15:19,798
- I'm driving carpool.
- [DING]
382
00:15:19,799 --> 00:15:21,233
I'm the boss! [LAUGHS]
383
00:15:21,234 --> 00:15:23,069
[DING]
384
00:15:25,870 --> 00:15:29,070
- I am so ashamed.
- And you should be, young lady.
385
00:15:29,075 --> 00:15:30,576
All I wanted was one day to myself,
386
00:15:30,577 --> 00:15:34,246
but instead, I had to
bail you two out of jail.
387
00:15:34,247 --> 00:15:38,284
Bruce didn't hear any of that, right?
388
00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:40,986
I'll tell him that I was on a prank show
389
00:15:40,987 --> 00:15:43,355
called "Go [BLEEP] Yourself."
390
00:15:43,356 --> 00:15:46,592
That's it. Jackie, make that show.
391
00:15:46,593 --> 00:15:49,995
All right, you gotta do it now.
392
00:15:49,996 --> 00:15:52,097
Everything is real!
393
00:15:52,098 --> 00:15:53,565
Everything is real.
394
00:15:53,566 --> 00:15:55,934
And where do we think we're going?
395
00:15:55,935 --> 00:15:58,003
My office.
396
00:15:58,004 --> 00:15:59,705
What the hell?
397
00:15:59,706 --> 00:16:02,574
I'm sorry, but that's
Teddy Ramanujan's office.
398
00:16:02,575 --> 00:16:07,078
Oh, my God, it's already starting.
399
00:16:07,079 --> 00:16:08,614
That's his last name?
400
00:16:08,615 --> 00:16:10,148
Well, I've got Bone-N-Pugs,
401
00:16:10,149 --> 00:16:11,850
but Harmony's nowhere to be found.
402
00:16:11,851 --> 00:16:13,885
[SHUSHES] How does Emily do this?
403
00:16:13,886 --> 00:16:16,188
This is the third conference
call I've been on today.
404
00:16:16,189 --> 00:16:18,257
[LAUGHS] I'd like to start the call off
405
00:16:18,258 --> 00:16:21,827
by not thanking you
for these BS reports.
406
00:16:21,828 --> 00:16:24,930
Hey, Teddy, super excited
to have you dig in.
407
00:16:24,931 --> 00:16:26,265
Holy crap.
408
00:16:26,266 --> 00:16:27,733
That's all for Corporate restructuring?
409
00:16:27,734 --> 00:16:29,935
Oh, no, that's Emily
Locke's normal workload.
410
00:16:29,936 --> 00:16:31,803
- The new work's coming later.
- [CHUCKLES]
411
00:16:31,804 --> 00:16:33,805
Wait, why am I doing Emily's work?
412
00:16:33,806 --> 00:16:35,441
You told us that your department sucked,
413
00:16:35,442 --> 00:16:37,142
and that she could kiss your ass?
414
00:16:37,143 --> 00:16:39,745
Since you're so candid, you'll
take care of firing her, right?
415
00:16:39,746 --> 00:16:41,613
♪
416
00:16:41,614 --> 00:16:45,251
Oh, there you are, Harmony!
417
00:16:45,252 --> 00:16:48,687
Oh, no, I've lost Bone-N-Pugs.
418
00:16:48,688 --> 00:16:50,889
[SIGHS]
419
00:16:50,890 --> 00:16:53,292
Okay.
420
00:16:53,293 --> 00:16:55,227
It's been two hours. I've heard nothing.
421
00:16:55,228 --> 00:16:56,762
Maybe he wasn't even listening to me.
422
00:16:56,763 --> 00:16:59,765
I don't listen to me beneath
me when they say stuff.
423
00:16:59,766 --> 00:17:01,933
You know what, I'm just never
gonna answer my phone again.
424
00:17:01,934 --> 00:17:05,103
That way he can't get to me!
425
00:17:05,104 --> 00:17:07,105
[GIGGLES] Done!
426
00:17:07,106 --> 00:17:10,709
[HELICOPTER WHIRRING]
427
00:17:10,710 --> 00:17:15,581
Van Wayne, Bruce Wayne would
like to see you in Gotham.
428
00:17:15,582 --> 00:17:18,216
- Oh...
- Face time with the big guy.
429
00:17:18,217 --> 00:17:19,551
[CHUCKLES]
430
00:17:19,552 --> 00:17:21,587
This is what you've always wanted.
431
00:17:21,588 --> 00:17:22,721
Okay.
432
00:17:22,722 --> 00:17:24,155
I'm, uh, coming!
433
00:17:24,156 --> 00:17:25,558
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
434
00:17:26,759 --> 00:17:30,061
I can't vote, I can't serve on a jury.
435
00:17:30,062 --> 00:17:32,531
[SIGHS] I'll never be
elected PTA President
436
00:17:32,532 --> 00:17:36,702
when I have a child, if
a man will even have me.
437
00:17:36,703 --> 00:17:37,969
What the hell are you doing?
438
00:17:37,970 --> 00:17:40,038
Getting blasted at
work, because who cares?
439
00:17:40,039 --> 00:17:42,842
Okay, that's ginger
beer. It's non-alcoholic.
440
00:17:44,411 --> 00:17:47,012
There's still a lot
of sugar in it, though.
441
00:17:47,013 --> 00:17:48,614
First of all, you are a petite
442
00:17:48,615 --> 00:17:52,384
Caucasian-enough woman with no priors.
443
00:17:52,385 --> 00:17:54,386
You'd be fine, but I fixed it.
444
00:17:54,387 --> 00:17:56,121
You don't have a
criminal record anymore.
445
00:17:56,122 --> 00:17:58,490
- Happy now?
- Wait, how?
446
00:17:58,491 --> 00:18:00,125
I called my fancy family.
447
00:18:00,126 --> 00:18:03,295
They pulled some strings and
made the charges disappear.
448
00:18:03,296 --> 00:18:06,264
You called your family
that you hate for me?
449
00:18:06,265 --> 00:18:07,766
Well, you were so upset,
450
00:18:07,767 --> 00:18:10,201
and it seemed like we
were almost friends,
451
00:18:10,202 --> 00:18:12,438
which I didn't totally hate,
452
00:18:12,439 --> 00:18:15,707
and I guess I'm sorry.
453
00:18:15,708 --> 00:18:18,276
No, I'm the one who should be sorry.
454
00:18:18,277 --> 00:18:19,911
The truth is...
455
00:18:19,912 --> 00:18:22,448
I'm really glad we got to
have an adventure together.
456
00:18:22,449 --> 00:18:24,350
[WHOOSHING]
457
00:18:24,351 --> 00:18:26,151
- What was that?
- Amazing news.
458
00:18:26,152 --> 00:18:29,020
The Superman who came
to Lois Lane's funeral
459
00:18:29,021 --> 00:18:30,489
was a shape-shifter.
460
00:18:30,490 --> 00:18:32,791
The real Man of Steel just escaped
461
00:18:32,792 --> 00:18:36,495
from a secret prison in
Bialya made of kryptonite.
462
00:18:36,496 --> 00:18:37,929
You know, for a rare mineral
463
00:18:37,930 --> 00:18:39,865
that comes from a long-destroyed planet,
464
00:18:39,866 --> 00:18:41,967
people sure do find a lot of that stuff.
465
00:18:41,968 --> 00:18:43,268
- Hmm.
- Emily.
466
00:18:43,269 --> 00:18:45,971
I was gonna fire you, but I can't.
467
00:18:45,972 --> 00:18:48,640
I never realized how hard your job was.
468
00:18:48,641 --> 00:18:51,877
I am never ever going to complain again.
469
00:18:51,878 --> 00:18:53,745
- [CHUCKLES]
- [WHOOSHING]
470
00:18:53,746 --> 00:18:58,517
- Was that Superman?
- Oh, no, my babies!
471
00:18:58,518 --> 00:19:00,587
Remember my face, Ron Jr.
472
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:09,861
Hey! Hey, everybody!
473
00:19:09,862 --> 00:19:11,763
[CHUCKLES] Bruce Wayne
was not upset with me.
474
00:19:11,764 --> 00:19:14,733
In fact, he was impressed
that I stood up to him.
475
00:19:14,734 --> 00:19:16,668
He said he didn't know I had a backbone.
476
00:19:16,669 --> 00:19:17,969
- But you don't.
- Hmm.
477
00:19:17,970 --> 00:19:19,505
Yeah, but he doesn't know that.
478
00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:22,674
And from now on, I will,
because Bruce likes it.
479
00:19:22,675 --> 00:19:25,010
But that isn't even the
most impressive part.
480
00:19:25,011 --> 00:19:26,945
I was wandering around,
lost in Wayne Manor.
481
00:19:26,946 --> 00:19:29,915
I was looking for a bathroom.
I found myself in this library.
482
00:19:29,916 --> 00:19:31,483
You know how much books make me angry.
483
00:19:31,484 --> 00:19:32,518
- Oh, yeah.
- Yeah.
484
00:19:32,519 --> 00:19:33,852
So I knocked over this bust,
485
00:19:33,853 --> 00:19:36,522
and you will never believe what I found.
486
00:19:36,523 --> 00:19:38,323
The Batcave.
487
00:19:38,324 --> 00:19:39,691
I found The Batcave.
488
00:19:39,692 --> 00:19:42,561
Bruce Wayne is Batman!
489
00:19:42,562 --> 00:19:44,195
ALL: What?
490
00:19:44,196 --> 00:19:45,296
[MUG SHATTERS]
491
00:19:45,297 --> 00:19:46,898
[WHOOSHING]
492
00:19:46,899 --> 00:19:49,701
[AUDIO REWINDS]
493
00:19:49,702 --> 00:19:52,904
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
494
00:19:52,905 --> 00:19:59,846
♪
495
00:20:01,347 --> 00:20:04,349
[STIRRING MUSIC]
496
00:20:04,350 --> 00:20:07,052
♪
497
00:20:07,053 --> 00:20:09,421
[GROANS] Ah, those
sketches were perfect.
498
00:20:09,422 --> 00:20:10,589
If I had your job,
499
00:20:10,590 --> 00:20:12,157
I would tell Corporate to kiss my ass,
500
00:20:12,158 --> 00:20:14,292
and if Van were here, I'd
tell him to kiss my ass too.
501
00:20:14,293 --> 00:20:15,827
I am here.
502
00:20:15,828 --> 00:20:19,931
Looking forward to getting to
work on those sketches, sir.
503
00:20:19,932 --> 00:20:22,601
Just so you know, I'm taking
a two-hour lunch break.
504
00:20:22,602 --> 00:20:25,804
I would love to say yes, but...
505
00:20:25,805 --> 00:20:27,005
Yes.
506
00:20:27,006 --> 00:20:29,675
- Yes?
- Why don't I come with you?
507
00:20:29,676 --> 00:20:31,977
We never get a chance
to hang out together.
508
00:20:31,978 --> 00:20:33,912
Um, okay,
509
00:20:33,913 --> 00:20:38,083
but I'm gonna go scare
drugged-up teens in the park.
510
00:20:38,084 --> 00:20:39,518
That sounds fun.
511
00:20:39,519 --> 00:20:42,688
Who are you?
512
00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:45,757
I'm not sure, but let's go.
513
00:20:45,758 --> 00:20:49,394
Jackie, tell Van we're
taking a long lunch.
514
00:20:49,395 --> 00:20:52,097
Oh, yeah, because I live to serve.
515
00:20:52,098 --> 00:20:53,865
You know what, I didn't even remember
516
00:20:53,866 --> 00:20:56,101
that we had plans, Bruce. Yeah?
517
00:20:56,102 --> 00:20:57,869
Oh, okay, he hung up.
518
00:20:57,870 --> 00:20:59,738
Jackie, cancel the reservation.
519
00:20:59,739 --> 00:21:02,073
Oh, honey, I never made it.
520
00:21:02,074 --> 00:21:05,143
Did Emily just go somewhere
with Wendy willingly?
521
00:21:05,144 --> 00:21:06,645
Weird, right?
522
00:21:06,646 --> 00:21:08,847
- [PUG BARKING]
- [LAUGHS]
523
00:21:08,848 --> 00:21:10,415
Where'd you come from, little buddy?
524
00:21:10,416 --> 00:21:12,383
[CHUCKLES] Oh, you're so cute.
525
00:21:12,384 --> 00:21:14,152
[CHUCKLES]
526
00:21:14,153 --> 00:21:15,654
Ron Jr.?
527
00:21:15,655 --> 00:21:18,023
[DRAMATIC MUSIC]
528
00:21:18,024 --> 00:21:19,725
[PUG WHIMPERS]
529
00:21:19,726 --> 00:21:21,227
Ha, that's funny.
530
00:21:21,228 --> 00:21:26,228
- Synced and corrected by chamallow -
- www.addic7ed.com -
38402
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