All language subtitles for Episode 1 2 - Mr Monk and the Candidate

The stove.

Over here.
It's in the kitchen.

No, I mean my stove.
I think I left it on.

It's okay.

I, uh, checked it
as we were leaving.

Are you sure?
Did you turn the knob?

Yeah.

- The little knob, though?
- I turned all the knobs.

The stove is off, Adrian.

Excuse me, sir, we believe
it was a burglary gone sour.

She walked in, she surprised him,
he panicked,

- No.
- He left there from the kitchen.

No, no.

No, no, no.

- This... this was no burglary.
- It wasn't?

He tried to make it look like one,
but this guy was cold as ice.

He wore her slippers to
avoid leaving shoe prints...

not something your neighborhood
crackhead is prone to do.

Adrian. Adrian

He was in here.
He was waiting.

Waiting for what?

You know, for her.

He was here at least an hour.

He was smoking.
You can still smell it on the curtains.

Menthols. Salems.

- Possibly Newports.
- Maybe she was the smoker.

No. No, she was a Dutch Calvinist.
They don't smoke.

They consider their
bodies to be a holy...

a holy chalice of...

Sorry, I'm having trouble concentrating,
because I think I smell gas.

Did you hear the click?

You gotta hear the click,
not just feel the click. Hear it.

Anyway, uh,

- after he killed Miss, uh...
- Nicole Vasques, 25.

Yeah, Miss Vasques,
he... he hung around.

He was, uh,
looking for something.

He was looking for what?

I don't know.

He checked something
on her computer.

He could have erased a file.

- Anything else?
- Yes, he's tall.

He's 6'3", maybe 6'4".
What about the...

...what about the pilot light?

- Because, you know, sometimes it goes out.
- The pilot light is fine.

Do you remember the
last time it almost went out?

Do you want me to drive back to
the city and check the stove?

- No, no, no
- Is that what you're telling me to do?

Would you? Could you?

That would be great.

Oh, excuse me, gentlemen.
Just one second, okay? Just...

- Who is she?
- Just his nurse.

Forget about the damn stove, okay?
You are on a job here.

- You're a private consultant.
- I know, but I smelled it and I think...

You gotta shut up.
The department thinks you're nuts.

You're never gonna get reinstated,
you're never gonna get hired again,

and we are both
gonna be unemployed.

Do you understand the
importance of what I am saying?

Now, pull your
twisted self together,

concentrate and be brilliant.

You're brilliant.

Excuse me, sir,
I'm sure that you're right, but

how do you know all of that?

- I mean, about the computer...
- It's patently obvious, isn't it?

There are no prints on
the keyboard, not even hers.

Why? He used it.
He wiped them clean.

Right. And you
said that he was tall.

The victim's short, maybe 5'4".

Look at the chair.
It's lowered almost all the way.

We've been here all morning,
and nobody even noticed that.

Well - Sir, if you can stick around for
a bit, the corner's on his way.

No, I'm sorry. I gotta go.

I'm pretty sure I smell gas.

Gentlemen, you know
where to find us. Just call.

- So that's the famous Adrian Monk?
- Yeah, the living legend.

If you call that living.

31, 32, 33, 34, 35,
36, 37, 38, 39, 40.

Doc, I'm feeling great.

Dr. Kroger...
I'm doing great, Dr. Kroger.

You can't...
You can't sweat the small stuff.

Just keep going with the flow.

It's a new me.
It's a whole new me.

And thanks to you...
I owe it all to you.

I feel like I'm back in the saddle.

I owe it all to you, Doc.

Took your advice, Doc.

I'm going with the flow.

So...

going with the flow?

Good. Good for you.

You've been, what,
doing some consulting?

Yeah, in Santa Clara.

I have an old friend there
who's a second lieutenant and...

called me in.

Well, how'd that make you feel?

I mean, you know,
being called in?

It feels great.

It feels like old times.

Back in the saddle.

Well, do you think you're
ready to go back full time?

No, I don't mean consulting.
You know I mean back on the force.

Definitely. Absolutely.

Do you think I'm ready?
That's...

That's the question.

Are you okay?

Yeah, I'm fine.

You keep looking at that pillow.
If you want to fix the pillow, it's okay.

No, no, no, I was
just thinking about...

No, I'm... I'm fine.

How are you sleeping?
Are you still having those dreams?

Well, Trudy and I were
married for seven years.

It would be weird if l...

if I never dreamt about her, right?
You're testing me, aren't you?

You... You left it like
that on purpose.

Did I?

Okay. Okay.

Yeah, so, anyway, um,

I've... I've been feeling...

Excuse me.

Hold it. That...

That one's just...

There. Then, uh...

Okay. No big deal.

Where were we?

You people sound like
you're ready for a change.

Am I right, or am I right?

The band doesn't start playing
until the balloons go, okay, right?

San Francisco has
a simple decision to make.

Wait for my cue.

Do we tread water,
or do we move ahead?

But, hell, that's all right.

Hey, how we doing?

I'm getting lockjaw, Gavin.
When can I stop smiling?

I'm afraid you're gonna
have to get used to it, Miranda.

I told you when I signed on,
city hall is just the beginning.

I am your Moses, and I am gonna take
you and your husband to the promised land.

- As my old man used to say...
- I've seen Sacramento, Gavin.

It's hardly the promised land.

Forget Sacramento.
I'm talking about the White House.

And don't forget,
when you elect me,

you're getting two mayors
for the price of one.

My wife, Miranda.

I'm not just talking the talk.

I'm ready to walk the walk.
Are you ready to walk with me?

Yeah!

He's up there!

Up there!

Okay, I'll call you back.
I'll call you back.

St. Claire just issued
another statement.

- Is he blaming us?
- Not yet. Just rahrah stuff.

He will not be silenced.
He will not be intimidated.

He will be blaming us soon enough.
Everybody does sooner or later.

We gotta make a statement too.

- Is the press here? Who's here?
- The girl from channel 3.

- The pretty one?
- No, the other one.

It's okay. - Good.
Who do you want on camera?

Me. I'll do it.

I think it'll reassure people
to see me taking point.

Yes, sir. - Anything
on the shooter? Say yes.

The forensic boys are still on site,
but nothing so far.

Incoming: Deputy mayor.

Oh, Sheldon Burger,
who let you off your leash?

I just came from the hospital.
Bodyguard didn't make it.

Mayor's on his way
back from Sacramento.

Look, I don't have to tell you, Captain.
We're on a bus to hell.

- I understand.
- If we don't slamdunk this,

- It's gonna look like we're not trying.
- I'm not an idiot, Sheldon.

I've got every
available man on the case.

No, you don't. Mayor wants
you to bring in your old friend.

Monk?

- Bus! Bus! Bus!
- I still can't believe this.

The mayor asked
for you personally.

There's a bus on the right.

Oh, this is great. This is gonna get
you back on the force. I'm telling you.

I already have a job, remember?

The girl in Santa Clara?
Merging! Merging! Everybody's mer...

- You want to drive?
- What lane are you in?

You want to drive?

I'll sit there and yell and
point and drive you nuts,

'cause you're
driving me nuts, Adrian.

Sorry.

It's red! It's red!
Come on, it's red!

Be cool. No, not today.
You can't today.

Look who's here...
the defective detective.

- Hello, Monk.
- Captain.

- Sharona.
- Hi.

You look good.

Dr. Kroger says you've
been getting out some.

Oh, he is really doing great.

I can't even keep up
with him. Thanks.

Excellent. The candidate is
waiting for us upstairs.

I wanted to make this crystalclear.

You're here because the mayor
thinks you can walk on water,

but you're a civilian now, Monk.

You have observer
status only, okay?

When I'm in there, I talk.
You say nothing, understand?

Look, Monk, when I took
your badge three years ago,

I told you nothing would give me more pleasure
than to see you reinstated, and I meant that.

But you're obviously not ready.

Is that you talking
or the uniform?

I am the uniform, Monk.

You didn't understand that back
when I was your watch commander.

You stay out of my way,
and we'll be fine. - Yes, sir.

And I'm sure you and
Karen will work things out.

What did you say?

You and your wife...
you're having some problems.

What are you talking about?
Karen and I are fine.

- We're 100%.
- Yes, sir.

My mistake.

Um, never been
happier to be wrong.

Hey, Monk, come here.

How did you know that?

You missed a spot shaving.
Karen would have caught that.

And your necktie...
she always ties it for you.

She used that double slipknot.

Conclusion...
you dressed yourself.

And, uh, the Ramada Inn cup.

Send her some...
roses maybe.

When we get in there,
you don't say anything.

No, no, no. Forget it.

We're four points
behind with ten days to go.

I am not putting
my man in a box.

Nobody wants to put
anybody in a box, Mr. Lloyd.

All we want to do is
limit your public appearances...

and not announce
your schedule in advance.

Oh, I am sure that
the mayor would love that.

Maybe we should move the whole
campaign and run it from the basement.

How about that?

Gavin, that's not fair.
The captain's just doing his job.

Mr. St. Claire, can you think of
anybody who might wish you harm?

- A disgruntled employee?
- Or an exwife.

Or a union official. I know a couple
of exbusiness partners...

who no longer send
us Christmas cards.

You boys have your
work cut out for you.

A man who hasn't made any
enemies hasn't done squat.

Warren, you're sure you
want to go through with this?

After yesterday, no one
would blame you if you quit.

Jesse, you used to say
"quit"was a fourletter word.

Excuse me.
We haven't been introduced.

I'm sorry. Who are you?

Uh, Jesse Goodman.
I work upstairs.

Senior vice president
slash concerned friend.

I couldn't make this run if Jesse
wasn't upstairs minding the store.

Baby.

- Do you need that?
- Yes, I do.

Somebody tried to kill my husband
yesterday right in front of me.

- Monk.
- Excuse me!

What... What are you doing?

I was just straightening up.

Oh, my God. Excuse me!
That's color coded by voting precinct.

It took me three weeks
to set this up.

- Sorry.
- Monk!

What department are you with?

Ma'am, this is Adrian Monk.
He's no longer with our department.

He's here as
a private consultant.

I'll put them all back
the way they were.

No, stop. You can't possibly
remember how everything was.

Yes, he can.
Yes, he can.

- It won't take too long.
- No.

It'd take one second.

Adrian, let go of the board!

Captain, you said he's
no longer with the department?

- He was given a 315.
- Psychological discharge.

- It's a temporary suspension.
- Psychological discharge.

It's a temporary suspension.

- He's up for a review next week.
- Is this a joke?

Someone tries to kill my husband,
and you send in Rain Man?

Mrs. St. Claire, I can assure you,
Mr. Monk's involvement...

is an indication of just how seriously
we are taking this case.

Is he, uh...

No, no. Um, it's
a form of anxiety disorder.

A severe case like this is usually
triggered by a single traumatic incident.

Someone hit him with a shovel?

His wife was murdered
four years ago... a car bomb.

There!

Unbelievable.

Wait.

There.

Now I'd like to see...

where the shots were fired from.

What's he doing?

I love this part.

He does this Zen,
Sherlock Holmes thing.

What?

He used a drawstring
to steady his shot.

I've seen it before in the field manual
for the Green Berets, Special Forces.

It's possible. - Captain, could you
grab this? It'll just take a minute.

- Hold this up like a rifle.
- Right.

- How tall are you?
- Six foot.

- No, really.
- 5'1"

Our guy was taller... 6'3",
maybe 6'4", just like Santa Clara.

Just like what?

The homicide in Santa Clara.
We've been consulting on it.

I read about that.
It's a completely different M.O.

You think there's a connection
because this guy might be tall?

Lieutenant,
get the Warriors on the line.

I want to talk to Antawn Jamison,
see if he's got an alibi for Thursday morning.

Captain, do you know
the percentage of men over 6'3"?

- No. Do you?
- Maybe 0.5.

The odds of two men
in this city in that category,

committing premeditated murder within
two days of each other are astronomical.

All because of
a twisted venetianblind cord.

Monk, that's a stretch, even for you.

That and he wore slippers.

And he smokes Newports.

This isn't police work.
This... This is vaudeville.

He's already killed two...

Two.

Oh, it's nothing. He just has
a little problem with heights.

Okay, we just gotta find an open computer,
and then I can check up the name.

Oh, right here. Yes.

- So, um, VAS...
- QUES...

Nicole Vasques.

I don't know her,
but that doesn't mean anything.

I've only been here a couple days.

But let's see.

Well, she's not a volunteer.

And she's not on staff. Sorry.

- What's your name?
- Jake.

Jake, my name's Adrian Monk.
Here's my card.

If you think of anything,
you give me a call.

Okay, sure. Well...

What does a man say about a friend
who took a bullet that was meant for him?

Mere words like
"thank you" seem so hollow.

When I heard
Jason had passed...

This guy is too
good to be true.

Maybe he's a decent man.
Isn't that possible?

And then, I talked to Risa,
Jason's mother,

and she reminded
me her son was no quitter.

You know what I think?

- I think he did it.
- Who?

St. Claire.

- You can't buy this kind of publicity.
- Right. Right.

See it through,
or why begin at all.

Well, what do you think?

I think this case and
the girl in Santa Clara...

are connected somehow.

So who?

Someone who knew them both.

Someone, uh...

What are you doing?

Do you have my keys?
I can't find my keys.

- I don't have your keys.
- Why?

- Adrian, calm down.
- Did you put them in your bag?

No, I don't touch your keys, 'cause
if I touch your keys, you'd freak out.

Calm down!

John Donne said,
"The democracy of death..."

Adrian, just stop it.
Just a second.

Everyone who knew Jason
remembers him and loves him.

Let's remember Jason as he was.

I got them.

Okay. I got them right here.

Okay. Such a relief, you know?

In a few seconds,
we will be closing the casket...

and saying goodbye
to Jason forever.

Adrian, it's okay.
We'll make new ones.

Just... It's okay.

It's the key chain.

The key chain...
it was Trudy's.

I gotta... I gotta...

I gotta have those keys.
That packet right there...

- Just give it to me.
- No.

- You are going straight to hell.
- I am in hell.

May his loving spirit live forever...

in our hearts and in our prayers.

Why don't we take a moment
and meditate silently?

Now... old friend...

we turn and salute
you one last time.

We gotta pull the car around.
He's ready to go.

You should be
ashamed of yourself!

Do you lie awake at night thinking of ways
to disrupt my husband's campaign?

Now, Miranda...

No, ma'am, I wake at night
and try not to think at all.

These things happen.

Hell, for a minute, I thought
I had a new campaign slogan:

"Vote for St. Claire.
He can raise the dead."

- Where's my boy?
- Here, sir.

- Make sure Miranda gets home.
- Of course.

Mrs. St. Claire,
a couple of questions.

Let me ask you a question.

How can you investigate anything?

I'm told you're "germophobic,"
afraid of the dark,

heights, crowds... and milk.

We're working on the milk.
He's making good progress on milk.

Mrs. St. Claire, I sense
that you're a little upset,

but I can tell you
why I dropped my keys.

I've been a bit preoccupied
with another case.

A girl was murdered in Santa Clara.

A Nicole Vasques.
Did you know her?

No.

No? - No.

Sir, did you know her...
uh, Nicole Vasques?

Uh, no.

Should I?

- No. No reason you should.
- Excuse me. Jesse.

Ma'am, if you could take
another look. Nicole Vasques.

I don't know anyone
by that name.

What I do know is
if my husband is elected mayor,

you will never work
in this town again.

Let's go.

Are you registered to vote?

I never vote.
It only encourages them.

Let's get out of here.
She makes me sick.

Do you know how much
her husband's worth?

- No.
- $150 million.

Here. - They were talking
about it on the radio.

- That's a lot of motive.
- Yes, it is.

Miranda St. Claire called
the mayor personally.

You couldn't just
buy another key chain?

Trudy gave it to him.
It's irreplaceable.

Captain, we just got
the forensic report back.

The bullets were hollow point,
designed to deform on impact.

Those can't be traced.

Yeah, but we caught a lucky break.
One was still intact.

They I.D.'d the weapon.
It's a Weatherby Fibermark rifle,

- which is British...
- It's British.

Longrange, preferred by
mercenaries and paramilitary groups.

That's right. He's right.

Well, start a list of weapons
and or ammunitions sales.

Yes, sir.

Could you crosscheck
that against Nicole Vasques?

- Who?
- The homicide in Santa Clara.

- Sir, your 10:00?
- The cases don't overlap, Monk.

She worked for the DMV.
He was a candidate for mayor.

She was behind on her rent,
he has houses all over the world.

She was stabbed.
He was shot.

Let it go.

- Are we gonna let it go?
- Hell, no.

- What are we gonna do now?
- We're gonna follow the money.

I've always wanted to say that.

"The queen said to the royal doctor,"

"'I'm so worried about the princess."

"'She has all the emeralds and
rubies and riches in the kingdom"

"but she never laughs."

"Who can make the princess laugh?"
"So they called the courtjester."

"The court jester,
as everyone knew,"

"was the silliest and funniest
courtjester that ever there was."

"With a jingle and a jangle,
he rolled into the court."

"'My queen calls,
he sang out as he bowed."

"Jester, 'said the queen,
'the princess has forgotten how to laugh,"

"'and I am giving you the job of
bringing back her smiles to this court."

"'When shall I start?' He asked.

'Just then, the princess entered
the court, and everyone fell silent.

"'Now is as good
a time as any, 'she said."

"The jester turned and greeted the princess,
and he bowed, he rolled end over end,"

"and when he stopped,
flowers appeared in his..."

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm better.

- Where is she?
- I don't know.

Just give me a moment, please.

There she is.

Hey, you're great with the kids.

Yeah, well, it's easy when
you don't have any of your own.

Let's get this over with.
I have a fundraiser in Denver tonight.

Sure. Sure. I, uh, only have...
a couple of questions, Mrs. St. Claire.

Just basic...
background stuff...

really.

Uh, do you have any bank
accounts in your own name?

No.

Do you wanna maybe
take some notes here?

No, I'll remember it.

Yeah, it's probably
better to write it down.

You don't think
I can remember?

How long have you, uh,
and Warren been married?

- Five years.
- Must be tough.

He's so busy, and now
he's running for mayor.

I would think that would
be kind of... kind of stressful.

You've been married, right?

Yes, uh, I have.

Then I don't have to tell
you every marriage is stressful.

That's why they call it "marriage."

Is there anything else?

Yeah. Are you, uh,

are you going to be
seeing Mr. Goodman later?

- Jesse?
- Jesse.

Why do you ask?

Well, if you see him, you know, uh,

just... would you tell him to call me?
Because I just... I'd love to talk to him.

And, you know, if you see him.

Are you accusing me
of something, Mr. Monk?

I don't know.
Are you guilty of something?

Mr. Monk.

You seem like
an intelligent person.

On occasion.

Warren is the first man in
my life that never gave up on me.

Last week, if I could have,
I would have taken that bullet myself.

You have to believe me.

Mrs. St. Claire,

I have to listen to you.
I don't have to believe you.

I'm leaving now.

There's no doubt in
my mind that witch did it.

Hello?

Adrian, it's for you. Okay?

Yeah, this is Monk.

Mr. Monk, it's Jake
from the St. Claire campaign.

I think I found something.

- I'll be right there.
- Actually, I was about to leave.

I can drop it off in your place.
I'll be there in a halfhour.

- Good. I'll meet you there.
- That a personal call?

- I may be a little late.
- All right, my beautiful people,

I love every one of you, but these
envelopes will not get stuffed by themselves.

No, no, no, no.
No, no, no, no!

No, thanks.
No, not today!

Come on, I just cleaned it!
Come on!

All right. Fine, fine.

That's fine.

Hey, Captain.

Captain. Captain,

we got the preliminary.

Probable accident...
severe blunt trauma to the head.

- Okay.
- Captain?

Captain?

Are there any documents
in the car, like a notebook?

No.

- Captain?
- What?

- Check his hat.
- What?

He used to carry things in his hat.

Was there a hat?
They didn't pull anything.

He wasn't wearing a hat!

What are you doing?

Come on down.
The accident scene's down here.

He's not wearing
the right shoes today.

Not wearing the right shoes today.

Look, there's nothing to do here.

The port authority's calling it.
It's a singlecar accident.

No, no. No, this was no accident.

There's no skid marks on the road.

It's wet!

You're not the only detective here, Monk.
I checked for skid marks.

It happens all the time on this hill.

You hit this curve at 85, 90 miles an hour.

Ftt! Boom!

No. No, this was staged.
He was killed somewhere else.

Maybe you could tell me
where this murder took place.

That would be very helpful.

Cole Avenue and 17th Street.

How could you possibly know that?
- We were meeting at my house.

He probably took Cole.

I'm thinking he was killed
at that stop sign on 17th Street.

Why 17th?

There's a homeless shelter there.
They wash windshields for spare change.

I'm thinking somebody
approached the car,

started washing the window
and then attacked him.

You can see the windshield
even better from here.

The driver's side's clean.
The passenger side's filthy.

Go check the windshield.

Go, Adrian.

Excuse me, Officer.

Son of a ***.

Adrian, this officer is
gonna drive you home, okay?

Thank you.

Behave yourself!
He's armed.

Why? Where you going?

I have a date.
I told you about it.

Oh, I thought you were joking.

You thought I was joking?

Why? You don't think
I could possibly have a date?

- No, I didn't mean that.
- What is so funny about me dating, Adrian?

Nothing. Sorry.

It's just... It's Tuesday.

It's chicken potpie night.

Don't be such a baby.

My 11 year old kid can
bake a chicken potpie.

I'll see you later, okay?

Okay. Okay. Slow down.

Slow down one second.

All right, then you said
2/3 of a cup... 2/3...

Who are you on the phone with?

- No one.
- Give me the phone.

Monk, is that you?

Okay, I'm hanging up now.
And don't call back.

Benjy's got homework. Lots of it.

Don't hang up. No!
Benjy, call me back!

He sounds certifiable.

- It's the worst job I ever had.
- Yeah? So why don't you quit?

Well, because it's also
the best job I ever had.

I'm having adventures.

I can't believe it. I'm putting
bad guys behind bars.

I feel like, um...
What is her name?

Superman's girlfriend.

Oh, Lois Lane.

- I'm Lois Lane.
- Yeah.

I mean, how many practical
nurses can say that? Not many.

You see, that looks so fine on you.

What, the dress?

The smile.

Thank you.

Five... six...

Seven... eight...

nine... ten.

We have some new footage of
the event that was taken by a tourist.

I should warn you,
some of this is very graphic.

Make way for the mayor!

To moderation in all things, hmm?

Except love.

Hey.

Monk, what are
you doing here?

I was watching the news.

There was a videotape
of the St. Claire thing.

Something about it
just does not add up.

Mr. Monk, I presume?

You must be Carl
from the health club.

Well, uh, why don't
you join us?

No, he shouldn't. You know,
two's company, three's a crowd,

and Monk hates crowds, don't you?

I feel okay when you're around.

Boy, this is nice, isn't it?

I forgot. What were
we talking about?

- England.
- Oh, my God, that's right.

Um, Carl said that, uh,
he was talking about living in England.

- He was a Rhodes Scholar.
- No kidding!

Yeah. He graduated
magna cum laude.

- Cum laud.
- Right. I know.

And now he has a private practice.
He's an entertainment lawyer.

Guess who he represents.
Can I tell him?

Yeah, sure.

Francis Ford Coppola.

Yeah, but it's no big deal.

A tabloid wrote something about him...
that, you know, he was drunk at the Oscars,

so now we're suing them for slander.

I don't know what to do here.

I'm no good at this.

Okay. This man is lying to you.

He's not a lawyer.

What?

Oxford doesn't have
a magna cum laud,

and you sue a newspaper
for libel, not slander.

I'll just shut up.

Forget I said anything.
It's no big deal, Carl.

Well, that looks...

What the hell is that?

What should I have done?
Just let him lie to you?

Yes. Yes. It was a first date. Taxi!

Everybody embellishes their resume.

It's called "human nature."
Do you think I told him about Benjy?

About that summer I spent
dancing in Atlantic City? No.

What kind of dancing?

I can't do this anymore.

- I quit.
- Not again.

No. No.
I mean it this time.

- I'm sending my sister over for my stuff.
- You know you're just gonna come back.

Don't tell me what I'm gonna do.

You think you know everything?

Believe it or not,
you don't know me that well.

All right.
Let's just go back inside.

No. No. It's too late.

Look...

I have responsibilities now.

I got a kid.

And I think I have to find a normal job...
before I go completely crazy.

Like me.

Like me?

Well,

I'll never forget you.

You never forget anything.

Valencia and 28th.

Okay, make me happy.

We found it wedged under
the passenger seat, uh, in his hat.

- Third name from...
- I see it, I see it.

She was a parttime volunteer.

She quit two months ago.
That's why her name didn't come up.

So Monk was right.

There is a connection.

How does he do it?

I mean, I have two eyes.
I see everything that he sees, but l...

I don't see what he sees.

Sir, if I may,

what Monk does,
it's a parlor trick.

I mean, can he do all this?

Can he organize a citywide
investigation, inspire the troops,

motivate people?

Adrian Monk isn't half the cop...

or a third of the man that you are, sir.

Thank you, Lieutenant.
Nonetheless...

we need him now.

Go get him.

He's not home.

Well, then he's at Sharona's.
Call Sharona.

I tried her.
She said she quit.

Sharona quit?

You mean Monk's alone?

Out there in public?

Hello?
Are you Benjy?

- Yeah. Who are you?
- I'm Sheldon Burger, Deputy Mayor.

Hey, you like skateboarding?

Mom, something
happened to Monk!

Forget it.

Monk's been one step
ahead of us all the way,

but the man can't
function without you.

The city of San Francisco
would be eternally grateful.

These are really good.
Did you make these?

They're Oreos, Sheldon.

- They are?
- They say "Oreos"on them.

Oh, yeah.

Exactly how eternally
grateful would the city be?

You tell us, Sharona.

- Whatever you want.
- A skateboard track.

Mom, make them build
a skateboard track in the park.

Okay.

Here's the deal.

I'll find Monk and bring him back,
and you'll owe me one.

- One what?
- Someday...

there'll be a knock on your door.

Whatever I say, whatever I want,
you'll have to say yes.

Within reason.

- Then forget it.
- Okay, okay, okay, not within reason.

That was our song.

I'm sure she heard you.

I don't see how.
She's been dead for four years.

Welcome back.

Well, don't pretend
you're surprised.

You know, you were right
about the cases being connected.

Nicole Vasques did volunteer work
for the St. Claire campaign.

How does it feel,
always being right?

Terrible.

Come on. Let's go.

I don't know if I'm gonna
be able to pull this off.

Adrian, you're gonna be fine.

So, are you ever gonna tell me what
kind of dancing you did in Atlantic City?

Ballroom.

Really?

Campaign volunteer.

Campaign volunteer.
What did she do there?

Oh, this and that.
Mostly helping the bookkeeper.

She quit after seven weeks,
which, I'm told, is not unusual.

Pretty small crowd.

How many times you
need to watch that, Adrian?

We're missing
The Price Is Right.

The rally.

I mean, why would
Gavin Lloyd set it there?

A weekday in the middle
of the financial district.

They were just talking
about Gavin Lloyd on the radio.

Apparently, he was this
hotshot political genius,

and now the national parties
won't even touch him.

Why not?

Well, he was never
officially charged,

but the word is some campaign
contributions Gavin collected...

were there one minute
and gone the next.

Oh, right. That was a senate race,
right, in North Carolina?

Adrian, what are you doing?

It was dented.

Where? You can't even see it.

I am what I am.
Do you want it?

Of course I want it.
I'm not the mental case.

Oh, look...
this one's dented, too.

- That's funny.
- I know.

I don't know why you
shop at that place, Adrian.

105.

106.

107, 108.

109.

110.

132, 133, 134.

You should've seen me.
I had the moves.

I was diving,
I was running out of the way.

That's great, Adrian.

Don't you get it?
It means we're getting close.

- We're making somebody nervous.
- I just can't picture outrunning a car.

I wasn't even
running my fastest.

- Why not?
- You know.

Were you touching
all the poles again?

I always touch the poles.

Adrian Monk for Gavin Lloyd.

- How old was she?
- 25.

It's heartbreaking.

She worked for Flo,
your bookkeeper.

She was here last summer
for about seven weeks.

We get kids like this all the time.
Every campaign does.

We call them floaters. You know...

Their boyfriend comes back,
they get a new job...

fft! ... they're gone.

So, Flo said that you
took Nicole aside one day.

I did?
Yes, this would've been
last July sometime.

And you talked to her for a while,
and then she never came back to work.

I talk to 100 kids every day,
you know, more.

We, uh, actually, as a matter of fact,
we lost another one last week...

car crash in Sausalito.

Yeah.
We heard about that.

See, I'm sorry.

LI don't pretend to know
much about politics.

Vote for, uh, Warren St. Claire.
That's all you need to know.

But what was the reason
you held the rally at that plaza?

Heart of the financial district. We wanted
to assure the business community...

that Warren St. Claire is on
their side, and it's working.

Have you seen
the latest poll numbers?

Yes. Congratulations.

Thank you.

Chicago.

That's a confidential document.
Sorry.

- That's why we shredded it.
- Sorry.
- That's okay.

I have a suggestion, Mr. Monk.

I'm gonna do my job,

she'll do her job
he'll do his job,

and you, sir, you and Miss...

Fleming.
Fleming, go out and do your job.

Thanks. Good luck.
Okay. Thank you.

Mr. Monk, sorry
to keep you waiting.

That's okay.

You know, Mr. Goodman,
your painting is very, um...

I can't think of the word. It's...

Scary?

I just got that piece.
Something about it, I just had to have it.

Yeah.
You can tell a lot about a person
from his taste in art.

He did it.

Just a couple of questions, sir.

How long have you
worked for Mr. St. Claire?

Nine years.
I was the first person he hired.

But he never made you partner.

You don't see me complaining.
I'm a lucky man.

I see you've been out of town.

Upstate. My family has
a cabin on Rockaway Lake.

I needed some time
to clear my thoughts.

It's been a hell of a week.

Mr. Goodman,
I'm sure of two things.

One:

Adrian.

One, your cabin is quite lovely.

And, two, you were
nowhere near it.

- What?
- Your wrist watch.

It's set two hours
ahead to central time.

You haven't been north,
you've been east.

Unless I'm wrong,
which, you know, I'm not,

you were in Chicago.

That's crazy.
I don't know anyone in Chicago.

You know Miranda St. Claire.

She told us she was going to Denver,
but her travel itinerary said Chicago.

So,you see, what we have here, sir,
are two consenting adults,

both lying about
where they spent last night.

What I'm about to say
can't leave this room.

Miranda and I have, uh,

been together twice.

So last night makes three?

No, last night it ended.

I swear I didn't want her.

I wanted to hurt Warren...
the legendary Warren St. Claire.

- I was sick of being his key chain.
- You say you wanted to hurt him?

No, no, no, I didn't mean...
I wouldn't really hurt him.

Oh, of course not.
You just wanted to hump his wife.

Look, you want to charge me with
something, you call my lawyer.

What is this?

What?

It's me, isn't it?

Look, I don't have time
for this, all right?

This meeting is over.

He's gone.

It's me, isn't it?

- Hello?
- Is'nt it?

Okay.

It's me.

Hey, they got him.
We got to go. They got him.

Come on.

The F.B.I. Coughed up
a major file on this guy lan Sykes.

Ex-Special Forces. Last April,

he purchased a scope for
a Weatherby Fibermark rifle.

You guys stay here
until we're inside, all right?

Did he mention how tall he was?

Yes. He's 6'5" tall.

I got lucky.

- Police! Police!
- Go! Go!

Clear!

Police! Come out!

Slow! Easy!

You alone?

You don't have to
keep apologizing, sir.

Everybody makes mistakes.

The fact is, I was 6'5"...

Once.

You did buy a scope for
a Weatherby Fibermark rifle.

Yes, sir, for my father.

Uh, he hunts alone now.

The Rocky Mountains aren't
exactly handicap accessible.

Sorry.

Okay, boys and girls,
the beat goes on.

We gotta talk to that profiler again.

Call the mayor.
Tell him we're back at square one.

What?

Your shoes.

Yes?

They're all scuffed up, and
they've got little creases in them.

Yeah, my shoes are
scuffed up, Monk.

They're not spotless like yours
because I actually use them.

His were all scuffed up, too.

Call up SWAT.

You go get in your car.
Go. Go, go, go, go, go.

Get him out of here.

Go!

Stottlemeyer said
we'd be safer over here.

That's a crock. He put us in the cheap
seats so he could take all the credit.

Oh, great!
The battery's dead.

Look, I got to check on Benjy.

Stay here and don't move.

I'm gonna find a phone.

- Well, hurry.
- I will. I promise.

Hey!

Hey. Hey!

He's...

Over... Over here!

Hey!

He's here! Hey!
What are you...

Call the... Get...

Come on!

Don't look up.
Don't look down.

Don't look up.
Don't look down.

Excuse me.

You... You...

You have the...
right to... remain silent.

He actually said, "Excuse me,"
and then he crawled over you?

Well, it was more like
he crawled around me.

- Good work, Detective.
- I don't think he recognized me,

before up in his room
or just now on the fire escape.

- Which means what?
- Which means...

he's not the guy who
tried to run me down.

I think we're looking
for two different guys.

Well, if only we had him in custody,
we could've questioned him.

Let me get this straight.

I'm confused, Monk.

You say you want your
badge back, is that right?

You want your badge back so you can protect the
people of this city from rapists and murderers,

as long as they don't climb any ladders
or run across any big, bad, scary bridges.

- Is that right?
- Give him a break, Captain.

No, you give me a break.

Look, you want to carry a gun?

You're gonna carry a loaded gun
and have other cops depend on you?

No. No, I don't think so.
You're off the case.

Oh, bite me.

I'm sorry.
What did you say?

What did you say?

This isn't about what
happened today, is it?

This is about you and me.

- This is about you and me.
- No, Monk, this isn't personal.

The fact of the matter is
the most wanted man in the city...

got away because you got dizzy!

Am I right?

Don't expect the mayor to help you either,
because after this, you're a leper.

What is that, your tough look?

Hey, Mom, what's he doing?

This is where his wife was...

This is where
Mrs. Monk passed away.

- Hey, Monk.
- Hey, Monk.

Benjy, be careful.

She... She must've been
meeting somebody, but who?

Was it a story
she was working on?

I don't know. And I can't see it,
and why can't I see it?

I think you're too close to it, Monk.

Benjy!

Is he okay?

- He's okay.
- Yeah, I'm okay.

How many times have
I told you to be careful?

- How many?
- Don't worry, I'm okay.

You could've killed yourself.
I'll take it away if you don't watch it.

- I'm fine.
- Are you okay?

I'm okay.

- Are you okay?
- Yeah, I'm okay.

- Are you okay?
- I'm okay!

- Did you hear that?
- Yeah, it's an echo.

- You have to get out more.
- Benjy, be careful.
- Okay.

What?

What?

I've got it.

You got what?

You know who did it?

You know who tried
to kill St. Claire?

Monk, who did it?

You're not gonna
tell me who did it?

It doesn't matter.

They're not gonna listen to me.
You heard the captain.

I'm a leper.

- Hi, Sharona.
- Hey, Sheldon.

- Can I come in?
- Yeah.

Okay...

I need everybody to stand
exactly where they were...

after the shots were fired.

Mrs. St. Claire,
you were standing right here.

What is the point?

We know who tried
to kill my husband.

It was that lunatic,
what's his name?

Lan Sykes.
He's probably halfway to Mexico by now.

That's true.
Mr. Goodman, if you would.

That's true,
lan Sykes got away.

- Yes, he did.
- And I feel terrible about that,

but today we're looking
for his accomplice,

- the person who hired lan Sykes.
- Are you a poker player, Mr. Monk?

Because you're either
bluffing your ass off,

or sitting on a very sweet hand.

Well, let's find out. Sir, all week long,
I have been racking my brain:

Who would want to
take a shot at you?

Then last night,
it occurred to me:

Maybe we've all been
asking the wrong question.

Maybe the shooter hit exactly what
he was aiming at, your bodyguard.

- That's insane.
- Who'd want to hurt Jason Rondstadt?

- That's not exactly showing initiative.
- Right, but what if...

what if Jason Rondstadt...

was the bodyguard
who knew too much?

You were dipping into
the war chest again.

You got to be kidding.

That's old news, Monk.

Mr. St. Claire, bear with me,
please, sir. On your mark.

Here's what I think happened.

Nicole Vasques was
going over the books,

and some numbers
didn't add up.

Excuse me, sir.

I was wondering if I could
talk to you for a sec.

It seems that a large sum of money
is going into a different account.

She asked you about it,
and you brushed her off.

Thanks for catching that, honey.
That's what I pay you for.

I'll look into it, all right?
Nice job.

Maybe you even accused
her of stealing the money.

Can you believe this guy?

You are out of your mind,
out of your mind.

You started to worry
the girl might talk.

You couldn't buy her off. She had
a little something we call integrity.

So you decided it was time
to hire somebody to kill her,

but who?

You asked Jason Rondstadt,

but he turned you down.

You were in hell,
surrounded by honest people.

I don't have to stand here
and listen to this.

Yes, you do.

- Yes, you do.
- Okay.

Thanks, Captain.

You kept shopping around.

You found a professional, lan Sykes.

Sykes killed the girl...

but you still had
one loose end left...

Jason Rondstadt,
the first guy you asked.

But, hell, that's all right.

Flying 17 combat
missions in the Gulf...

Killing Jason Rondstadt
in public was brilliant...

'cause everyone assumed it
was an assassination attempt,

and you got a two for.

Your problem was eliminated,
and your candidate gets to look heroic.

I don't suppose you're gonna
be able to prove any of this.

Well, here was your mistake.

My mistake?

Hey.

This photograph was taken
seconds after the shooting.

That's you, isn't it, pointing up at the sniper?
Yeah. So what?

He's up there!

Up there!

You're the only one pointing.

How did you know where he was?

Because I saw him.
He was right up there.

Look.

Oh, yeah, I almost forgot.

Gentlemen, gentlemen, if you please.

Last Thursday, there were
approximately 400 balloons right here.

There's only one way you could've
known where lan Sykes was.

- You hired the man.
- This is totally ridiculous.

I mean, it all happened so fast.
It was chaotic. It was chaos.

Maybe I, uh, maybe I didn't see him.
Maybe I heard the shots.

- You heard them?
- Yes, I definitely heard them.

I definitely heard them.
We all heard them.

They were coming from up there.

Well, if that's true, then you won't
have any trouble finding Sharona.

What?

She is up there in
one of these buildings...

with a starter's pistol.

Heckle, this is Jeckle.

Are you all set?

Anytime, Jeckle.

Let's do it.

It's kind of like
an echo chamber, isn't it?

You want to take
another chance?

Heckle, we're going
for best out of three.

- There.
- There?

No, uh,

- over there.
- Are you sure?

Oh, my God.

No, wait, wait, wait.

Do it again. Do it again!

And you called yourself my Moses.

Like the real Moses, he won't
be joining you in the promised land.

Warren, I didn't have any choice!

That girl, Nicole,
she would have buried me!

She would have buried both of us!

Warren!

Okay, Sharona, cut it out.
That's enough.

We got him. It's all over.

Sharona?

- Let's go!
- Everybody out of here!

Go! Go! Go! Go!

Oh, my God, it's Sykes.
He's here.

Sykes? What's he doing here?

I think he and Gavin are having
some kind of contract dispute.

He's leaving.
I'm gonna follow him.

Where are you going, Sharona?
Just stay put.

He's stashing his gun.

He's going downstairs.

All right, just stay put.
Stay right where you are.

- Who does she think she is?
- I don't know. Lois Lane.

He's in the boiler room.

Sharona! I can't hear you.
I've lost you. Come back.

Okay. We got him. Block it up.
Cover every door, every window.

- He's not coming out.
- What?

No. He'd expect you
to cover the street.

He's got some other way.

- He has a plan.
- How do you know that?

'Cause he's smart.

- Sharona, come back.
- Keep an eye on him.

How many guys
you got in the back?

Monk, he's going through a door.

I think it's a tunnel.
I'm gonna follow him.

Let's go! Let's go!
Everybody out!

- What about the basement?
- By the book, Monk.

We secure the exits, then
we work top to bottom. Give me that.

What about Sharona?
He might have Sharona.

We'll take care of Sharona.
Just stay here.

Monk, can you hear me?

Oh, no.

Monk.

Adrian, can you hear me?
I can't hear you.

Monk, where are you?

Oh, great, a hostage.

Help!

We got upstairs secured.

Good. Now do the basement,
and watch your back.

Captain, have you seen Monk?

No. Why?

He's, uh, got my gun.

Monk! Monk, help!

Hold it! I have a gun.!

Sykes, hold it!

Shoot him!

Shoot him!

I'm not bluffing!
I have a gun.

Shoot him!

Will you shoot him!

Let her go, Sykes!

Let... Let her go!

What the hell were you thinking?

You kept saying,
"Shoot him.! Shoot him!"

Adrian, I could've been killed!

I knew what I was doing.

I was aiming high.

He's like 20 feet tall!

What if you missed?
You could've missed!

Oh, right! How could I have missed?
The guy's King Kong.

What if it ricocheted?

Well, that... that's true.
I didn't think of that.

Hello?

Snowmen.

Give me the gun.
Give me the gun.

Here he is. Come and
meet a genuine hero.

Congratulations, Mr. Monk.

Mr. Monk,

on behalf of myself, Miranda,

and the city of San Francisco,
I want to thank you.

Well done.

Well done.

Mr. Monk, what next?

- Mr. Monk, and I get a picture, please?
- Mr. Monk, over here, please. Mr. Monk.

My son wants your autograph.

Really. No, you're his hero.

He put your picture up on the wall.

Well, I would be
happy to meet the boy,

but anybody would've
done the same thing.

I don't know about that, Adrian.

I mean, there were
20 cops at that scene.

Nobody did what you did.

Well... Well.

You know, I think we're making
some real progress here, and I think...

I think it might be time that I talked to
the department about reinstatement.

Would you like that?

- I can't promise anything.
- Oh, I understand.

I can only make
a recommendation, okay?

- I understand.
- All right.

They might want you to meet
with some other doctors.

No problem.

It's not gonna be that easy, Adrian.
There's gonna be more testing.

Let's do it.
I want to take them right now.

- I want to take them right now.
- Alright, alright.

Going down?

- See you next week.
- Okay.

How'd it go?

You know.

Aw, don't worry,
we'll get them next time.

Come on, I'll make
you some dinner.

Oh, yeah, it's Tuesday.

Tuesday night's chicken potpie.

You know, actually, I thought we'd
try something a little different this week.

I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

Just kidding.

Adrian, you missed one.

Five.

Six.

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