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WWW.MY-SUBS.COM
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Packed your favorite... strawberries.
2
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Mom, strawberries aren't
my favorite fruit anymore.
3
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Since when?
4
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Since I had the pleasure
of tasting a tangelo.
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00:00:12,388 --> 00:00:15,079
Now my top five fruits are, in order,
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tangelos, guava, tomatoes...
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they're a fruit, Google it...
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kiwi, and pluots.
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Got to love Westport.
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The closest I got to
fresh fruit as a kid
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was wild cherry cough drops.
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Oh, no!
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Principal Ablin's gonna ask me
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to chaperone another one of
Anna-Kat's class field trips!
15
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Katie, I need to speak to you
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about the field trip tomorrow.
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I got to come up with an excuse.
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What have I used in the past?
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I've done root canal.
I've done malaria twice.
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I had my hip replaced
at a very young age.
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Wait.
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I actually have a legitimate excuse
23
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for not going on the field trip!
24
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Katie, I was wondering if you w...
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I can't chaperone the field trip!
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I have a job!
27
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Ha! In your face!
28
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Why is it in my face?
29
00:01:05,274 --> 00:01:07,949
I don't know. You figure it
out. You're the educator.
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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Long day at work?
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Long month at work.
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I have been working overtime
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planning the Founder's Day Fair.
35
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- What's that?
- It is the fair in three weeks
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that celebrates the founding
fathers of Westport.
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All I know is, I ordered a
gluten-free funnel cake today,
38
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and part of me died.
39
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I could really use a
big-time pony play session
40
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with you right now.
41
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Okay. Choose your filly.
42
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:44,729
Where's Sir Sparkles?
43
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He died last month saving Sassy Sadie
44
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from drowning in the toilet.
45
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I begged him to learn how to swim.
46
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I don't recognize most of these ponies.
47
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I've gotten a lot of new ones lately.
48
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Here's my favorite... Major Cuddles!
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Major isn't just his rank,
50
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but also how I describe his hugs,
51
00:02:02,300 --> 00:02:03,999
because even though he's military,
52
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he's not emotionally distant.
53
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Anna-Kat, I'm sorry
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that I've been working
nights and weekends
55
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and haven't been able to
play with you as much.
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00:02:12,110 --> 00:02:14,279
It's okay, Mom. I know you're busy.
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I actually don't expect
you to be around,
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so I just assume you won't be.
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00:02:17,471 --> 00:02:21,379
And the new number-one thing a
mother never wants to hear is...
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00:02:21,380 --> 00:02:23,289
what Anna-Kat just said.
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Till Oliver says, "We're
putting you in a home.
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No cable."
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00:02:28,460 --> 00:02:30,959
Did you know Sir Sparkles died?
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Oh, yeah. That was a rough one.
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He didn't have a will.
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His colts are still
fighting over his estate.
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I used to know everything
going on with her.
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I feel so disconnected.
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00:02:39,410 --> 00:02:40,785
Don't be so hard on yourself.
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I bet you know all the pony names.
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Of course I do. I'm a good parent.
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... married to another good parent.
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Mm-hmm.
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So, here we are...
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00:02:49,550 --> 00:02:50,629
two good parents.
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00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,380
I'm just having a hard time with
the work/life balance thing.
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Look, we're lucky I can
adjust my schedule
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00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,759
and work out of the house
more and be with the kids.
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00:02:57,760 --> 00:02:58,979
When one of us is busy,
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the other can pick up
the slack. We're a team.
81
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I know, but I still feel bad.
82
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:04,319
Anna-Kat is getting older,
83
00:03:04,320 --> 00:03:06,599
and I don't want our
relationship to become
84
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:08,059
like my relationship with Taylor.
85
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What's wrong with that?
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00:03:09,600 --> 00:03:10,869
Taylor, how you doing, honey?
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00:03:10,870 --> 00:03:12,740
Get off my back, man!
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00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,809
Well, if you want to spend
more time with Anna-Kat,
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00:03:15,810 --> 00:03:17,947
maybe you should chaperone the
field trip instead of me.
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You're chaperoning?
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00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,283
Yeah, Ablin called and asked me to go.
92
00:03:20,284 --> 00:03:23,849
Well, look at you...
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knowing pony names,
chaperoning field trips.
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00:03:26,620 --> 00:03:28,819
Part of the problem is,
you're too nice of a dad.
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You need to be worse.
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00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,127
When it comes to parenting,
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I don't go up to you...
you come down to me.
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00:03:33,005 --> 00:03:34,464
Why do I always have
to come down to you?
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00:03:34,465 --> 00:03:35,929
I don't do self-improvement.
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00:03:35,930 --> 00:03:37,490
You knew that when you married me, bro.
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I don't feel well.
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Yeah, right! Go get dressed.
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I'm being serious!
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I've been throwing up all night.
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Why don't you ever believe me?
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- 'Cause you always fake being sick.
- Mm-hmm.
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You're thinking of Mom and malaria.
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I do do that.
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I swear... I'm really sick.
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Trip is going to Thunder Park
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for senior ditch day, and I want to go.
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So fake being sick.
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00:04:01,784 --> 00:04:03,819
I fake being sick way too many times.
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Unless I barf up some arthritis...
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- That's not a thing.
- ... then Mom and Dad won't buy it.
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I need your help.
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They might not buy you being sick,
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but they will if we both are sick.
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Wait... you're sick?
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That's great! Then you can get me sick!
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Quick... sneeze in my mouth.
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No! I'll also fake being sick.
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Oh.
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They'll never think we're both lying.
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But if I do this for you,
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you guys need to take me and
Cooper to Thunder Park.
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00:04:27,893 --> 00:04:29,249
Fine.
128
00:04:29,250 --> 00:04:30,269
What's the plan?
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00:04:32,650 --> 00:04:34,190
I've been throwing up all night.
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00:04:34,191 --> 00:04:35,733
Oh, no. Taylor, too.
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Geez, if they're both sick,
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then maybe Taylor is
not lying after all.
133
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Maybe they have food poisoning.
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Just follow my lead.
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Hey, Mom?
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00:04:43,742 --> 00:04:45,519
Can I have this yogurt smoothie
137
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I found in the fridge?
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00:04:46,537 --> 00:04:47,539
Sure.
139
00:04:47,540 --> 00:04:49,413
Great. It looks delicious.
140
00:04:49,414 --> 00:04:51,159
Hey, Taylor, you want to share
141
00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:53,009
this yogurt smoothie I
found in the fridge?
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00:04:53,010 --> 00:04:54,168
It looks delicious.
143
00:04:54,169 --> 00:04:56,213
Sure. It looks delicious.
144
00:04:57,840 --> 00:04:59,959
Oh, no! It's expired.
145
00:04:59,960 --> 00:05:01,419
Oh, who cares?
146
00:05:01,420 --> 00:05:03,539
Mom always said it's
okay to eat expired food
147
00:05:03,540 --> 00:05:05,010
if it's in the two-week buffer zone.
148
00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:07,720
Oh, well. Bottoms up.
149
00:05:08,150 --> 00:05:10,893
You guys are total idiots for
drinking that expired smoothie.
150
00:05:10,894 --> 00:05:12,228
But it was in the buffer zone!
151
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:13,688
- Did you smell it?
- No.
152
00:05:13,689 --> 00:05:15,529
Everyone knows you got to smell it
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if it's in the buffer zone.
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That is buffer zone 101.
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Back to bed. No school
for you two today.
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I'm sorry I can't stay
and take care of them.
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I have to go on Anna-Kat's field trip.
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00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:24,560
Oh, don't worry, Dad.
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Oliver and I can take
care of each other.
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That's sweet.
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00:05:27,030 --> 00:05:29,078
Stop being the nice parent.
You're making me look bad.
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00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,454
You could try being the nice parent.
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00:05:30,455 --> 00:05:31,809
We can't change it up now, Greg.
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- We are in this way too deep.
- Hmm.
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I need some advice on
what to do with Anna-Kat.
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I don't have time to do the fun stuff
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that we usually do
together because of work.
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Oh. I can totally relate to that.
169
00:05:44,386 --> 00:05:46,229
- Really?
- That's not possible.
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Recently, I started spending
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more time at home with the kids,
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but then I felt like I was missing out
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on all this fun stuff
at the country club.
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I felt bad for neglecting the club,
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00:05:54,210 --> 00:05:56,240
so I started spending less time at home.
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Hmm.
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00:05:58,567 --> 00:06:00,590
Katie, if you want to spend
time with your kids,
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00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,409
then sometimes that means
doing things with them
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00:06:02,410 --> 00:06:04,196
that you don't want to
do... like chaperoning.
180
00:06:04,197 --> 00:06:05,879
But I already did that last year.
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00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:08,951
Yeah, well, it's kind of like
the mammogram of parenting.
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Ugh. Just another way they
put the squeeze on us!
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I don't want to chaperone again.
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00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:15,060
It was just a lot of me saying,
185
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"Don't wander off! Stay together!
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Don't climb on that!"
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00:06:17,770 --> 00:06:19,059
"Don't tell your mom I hit you."
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00:06:19,060 --> 00:06:21,159
But I did have fun with Anna-Kat.
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00:06:21,160 --> 00:06:23,749
We sang songs on the bus,
and we made up this game
190
00:06:23,750 --> 00:06:25,149
where we pretended not to know anything
191
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because it was our first day on Earth.
192
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- Example, please.
- Mm.
193
00:06:28,770 --> 00:06:31,339
"What is this mysterious
brown substance?"
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00:06:31,340 --> 00:06:32,760
Yeah, I don't care anymore.
195
00:06:32,770 --> 00:06:34,539
Katie, there's no
reason why you can't go
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00:06:34,540 --> 00:06:36,605
on that field trip today and
reconnect with Anna-Kat.
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00:06:36,606 --> 00:06:38,139
You're right.
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00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:39,690
- I'm gonna do it.
- Great.
199
00:06:39,691 --> 00:06:40,776
When do they leave?
200
00:06:40,777 --> 00:06:42,359
10 minutes.
201
00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:44,380
- Damn! I got to go.
- Oh.
202
00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:47,360
You didn't really hit a kid
on a field trip, did you?
203
00:06:47,366 --> 00:06:48,519
Oh.
204
00:06:48,520 --> 00:06:49,640
Your son didn't tell you?
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00:06:49,680 --> 00:06:52,929
Damn, you're a good mom!
You didn't raise a narc!
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00:06:58,660 --> 00:06:59,729
All right, kids.
207
00:06:59,730 --> 00:07:02,169
Everyone take your seats. We're leaving.
208
00:07:17,521 --> 00:07:19,959
Good morning, room 5!
209
00:07:19,960 --> 00:07:22,020
My name is Katie Otto, Anna-Kat's mom,
210
00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:24,289
and I am here to chaperone
your field trip
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00:07:24,290 --> 00:07:25,859
to Caldwell Farms.
212
00:07:25,860 --> 00:07:26,869
Katie, what are you doing here?
213
00:07:26,870 --> 00:07:28,199
I think my announcement one second ago
214
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,400
was pretty clear about that.
215
00:07:29,408 --> 00:07:31,459
Yeah, but I took the day
off from work to...
216
00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:40,719
What are you doing here?
I thought you had a job.
217
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:41,909
I do have a job.
218
00:07:41,910 --> 00:07:43,590
And I took a day off from that job
219
00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:44,909
to do an even more important job...
220
00:07:44,910 --> 00:07:46,674
to connect with my daughter.
221
00:07:46,675 --> 00:07:48,549
In your face.
222
00:07:48,550 --> 00:07:51,410
I will not have that in my face again.
223
00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,989
All right, let's get
this field trip started
224
00:07:54,990 --> 00:07:57,119
with a little bus song.
225
00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:58,679
♪ Hey, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
226
00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,029
♪ You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪
227
00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:01,220
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
228
00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:02,270
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
229
00:08:02,290 --> 00:08:03,299
Come on, Anna-Kat!
230
00:08:03,300 --> 00:08:04,692
What are you doing?
231
00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,069
What is a bus ride without a sing-along?
232
00:08:07,070 --> 00:08:08,329
Come on, everybody!
233
00:08:08,330 --> 00:08:09,339
♪ Hey, Mickey, you're so... ♪
234
00:08:09,340 --> 00:08:10,879
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
235
00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,219
♪ You're the finest in my mind ♪
236
00:08:12,220 --> 00:08:13,539
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
237
00:08:13,540 --> 00:08:14,840
Hey, Mickey!
238
00:08:14,860 --> 00:08:17,830
Dude! What are you doing?
239
00:08:17,831 --> 00:08:20,549
Mom always said to dance like
no one's watching and...
240
00:08:20,550 --> 00:08:22,044
to sleep like nobody's watching.
241
00:08:23,211 --> 00:08:24,219
I had trouble sleeping.
242
00:08:24,220 --> 00:08:25,919
I thought people were watching me.
243
00:08:25,920 --> 00:08:28,679
Sorry. Ablin ruined everything.
244
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,119
Yeah.
245
00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:31,759
Mother always said that, too.
246
00:08:35,265 --> 00:08:36,891
The smoothie plan worked perfectly.
247
00:08:36,892 --> 00:08:38,799
Sometimes I think about
using my powers for good,
248
00:08:38,800 --> 00:08:40,899
and then I do stuff like
this and I think...
249
00:08:40,900 --> 00:08:42,129
Nah.
250
00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:44,739
So, you drank expired yogurt
and it didn't make you sick?
251
00:08:44,740 --> 00:08:45,770
How'd you pull that off?
252
00:08:45,776 --> 00:08:47,276
It wasn't really expired.
253
00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:48,487
So how'd you get sick?
254
00:08:48,488 --> 00:08:49,500
We faked it.
255
00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:55,743
You don't need to understand
the plan for it to work.
256
00:08:55,744 --> 00:08:56,749
Oh, thank God.
257
00:08:56,750 --> 00:08:58,496
Cooper, how'd you get
out of school today?
258
00:08:58,497 --> 00:09:01,089
Oh, I don't really have to
worry about stuff like that.
259
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:04,589
_
260
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:06,921
You get a boat!
261
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,256
And you get a boat!
262
00:09:08,270 --> 00:09:09,999
And you get a boat!
263
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,430
Oh, no. Dad's home.
264
00:09:16,431 --> 00:09:18,057
He's supposed to be on
Anna-Kat's field trip!
265
00:09:18,058 --> 00:09:20,142
- Guys, go hide.
- Why? Then I won't get to see your dad.
266
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:21,150
That's the point.
267
00:09:22,896 --> 00:09:25,609
You don't need to understand
the plan for it to work.
268
00:09:25,610 --> 00:09:27,340
Let's vámanos, compadre.
269
00:09:27,818 --> 00:09:30,319
Come on. We got to make
ourselves look sick again.
270
00:09:39,955 --> 00:09:42,439
Hey, guys. I'm not going on
Anna-Kat's field trip anymore,
271
00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:43,959
so I came home to see how you're doing.
272
00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:45,629
I still feel sick.
273
00:09:45,630 --> 00:09:48,170
I feel like Taylor reads... terrible.
274
00:09:48,171 --> 00:09:49,959
Oh, no. Sounds like
you're getting worse.
275
00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,500
I better stay here and
take care of you guys.
276
00:09:51,508 --> 00:09:54,209
Y-You shouldn't stay home
just because we're sick.
277
00:09:54,210 --> 00:09:56,579
Why not grab some quality Greg time?
278
00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:58,179
Yeah, go catch a movie.
279
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:00,379
There's two Ruth Bader
Ginsburg films out.
280
00:10:00,380 --> 00:10:02,609
She's your celebrity hall
pass, for God's sake.
281
00:10:02,610 --> 00:10:04,279
I'm happy to take care of you two.
282
00:10:04,280 --> 00:10:06,559
I'm gonna make you some of my
mother's famous chicken soup.
283
00:10:06,560 --> 00:10:08,060
Do you know what the
secret ingredient is?
284
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:09,442
- Is it love?
- Love?
285
00:10:10,040 --> 00:10:12,319
No. It's...
286
00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:14,320
I don't want to tell you anymore.
287
00:10:16,741 --> 00:10:18,599
Ugh. Now instead of ditch day,
288
00:10:18,600 --> 00:10:20,999
we have to stay home and
pretend to be sick.
289
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:23,470
Yeah, I know. I was here, too.
290
00:10:26,740 --> 00:10:29,039
Don't wander off. Stay together.
291
00:10:29,040 --> 00:10:30,679
Don't climb on that!
292
00:10:32,007 --> 00:10:34,609
Caldwell Farms is a fully functional
293
00:10:34,610 --> 00:10:36,635
fruit and animal farm.
294
00:10:36,636 --> 00:10:38,721
But not an "Animal Farm"
295
00:10:38,722 --> 00:10:41,949
like George Orwell's allegorical novella
296
00:10:41,950 --> 00:10:45,853
that criticized the rhetoric
of the Russian Revolution.
297
00:10:47,990 --> 00:10:50,232
Always funny. Always.
298
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,499
I'm also proud to point out
299
00:10:52,500 --> 00:10:55,799
Caldwell Farms' newest edition...
300
00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,539
this gorgeous gazebo
301
00:10:58,540 --> 00:11:01,599
built by none other than
your Principal Ablin.
302
00:11:02,610 --> 00:11:03,679
Wow!
303
00:11:03,680 --> 00:11:05,497
Why would you build them a gazebo?
304
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:06,679
Because I love it here,
305
00:11:06,680 --> 00:11:08,579
and I hope to be buried
under it someday.
306
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:10,252
So in your face.
307
00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:12,119
Well, my face is a shield,
308
00:11:12,120 --> 00:11:14,249
so it bounces off and hits
your face twice as hard!
309
00:11:14,250 --> 00:11:15,382
Double face!
310
00:11:15,383 --> 00:11:16,759
Double face?
311
00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,459
That's the worst of all faces.
312
00:11:18,460 --> 00:11:21,759
Uh, now, before we move
on to the petting zoo,
313
00:11:21,760 --> 00:11:23,474
does anyone have any questions?
314
00:11:23,475 --> 00:11:25,530
Yes.
315
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,189
What are those things behind you?
316
00:11:30,070 --> 00:11:32,100
Uh...
317
00:11:32,110 --> 00:11:33,525
You mean the apples?
318
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:35,569
Ooh! Apples!
319
00:11:35,570 --> 00:11:37,639
Very interesting.
320
00:11:37,640 --> 00:11:39,199
What do they do?
321
00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,009
They just...
322
00:11:42,010 --> 00:11:43,279
They're apples!
323
00:11:43,280 --> 00:11:45,319
Mom, no. Don't play First Day on Earth.
324
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,740
Let's just go to the petting zoo.
325
00:11:46,748 --> 00:11:48,019
One second.
326
00:11:48,020 --> 00:11:50,650
Gerald, so, these apples,
327
00:11:50,660 --> 00:11:53,003
where are their parents?
328
00:11:53,004 --> 00:11:55,629
Well, I suppose...
329
00:11:55,630 --> 00:11:57,859
in a way, that's me.
330
00:11:57,860 --> 00:12:00,136
Mom, please stop!
331
00:12:00,880 --> 00:12:03,389
Does your mom really not
know what apples are?
332
00:12:03,390 --> 00:12:04,959
She's just playing this dumb game
333
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,399
that she thinks is funny
334
00:12:06,400 --> 00:12:10,146
but is definitely not funny.
335
00:12:13,108 --> 00:12:15,401
Anna-Kat, what is wrong?!
336
00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:16,479
Katie?
337
00:12:16,480 --> 00:12:18,510
See, you eat it.
338
00:12:19,990 --> 00:12:22,449
I know what a damn apple is, Ablin.
339
00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,109
You are gonna be buried
under that gazebo
340
00:12:24,110 --> 00:12:25,160
sooner than you think.
341
00:12:27,290 --> 00:12:28,330
Excuse me.
342
00:12:29,791 --> 00:12:32,219
I just got off the phone
with an old college friend
343
00:12:32,220 --> 00:12:34,429
who works in infectious
diseases at the Mayo Clinic.
344
00:12:34,430 --> 00:12:35,859
He said that food poisoning
345
00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:37,506
from dairy products is very serious.
346
00:12:37,507 --> 00:12:38,769
I think it's out of our systems.
347
00:12:38,770 --> 00:12:39,839
It's not.
348
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:41,009
But it will be.
349
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:42,699
My friend gave very
specific instructions
350
00:12:42,700 --> 00:12:44,596
on how to flush the
toxins from your bodies.
351
00:12:44,597 --> 00:12:46,473
We're gonna sweat it out.
352
00:12:51,020 --> 00:12:52,856
How long do we have to
stay in here like this?
353
00:12:52,857 --> 00:12:54,679
- Just an hour.
- An hour?!
354
00:12:54,680 --> 00:12:57,401
No way! I look like I've
been Chaka Khanned!
355
00:12:57,402 --> 00:12:58,610
You know who Chaka Khan is?
356
00:12:58,611 --> 00:13:00,889
Oh. That's a person?
357
00:13:00,890 --> 00:13:02,531
I thought it meant being electrocuted.
358
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,890
Stay here. I'll be back to
check on you in an hour.
359
00:13:06,930 --> 00:13:08,299
This sucks!
360
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:10,159
I hate being sick!
361
00:13:10,160 --> 00:13:11,180
You're not really sick.
362
00:13:11,200 --> 00:13:12,790
Oh, yeah.
363
00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:18,005
- Hey. How's the trip going?
- Terrible.
364
00:13:18,006 --> 00:13:20,909
I need the nice parent's
perspective on the situation.
365
00:13:20,910 --> 00:13:23,439
I have been trying to have
fun with Anna-Kat all day,
366
00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:24,849
but she keeps shutting me down.
367
00:13:24,850 --> 00:13:26,689
I've been doing our greatest hits...
368
00:13:26,690 --> 00:13:28,849
sang songs, First Day on Earth.
369
00:13:28,850 --> 00:13:31,310
Maybe you're trying too
hard. Just be yourself.
370
00:13:31,311 --> 00:13:33,520
If I were myself, I wouldn't
be on this field trip.
371
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:35,229
It's Anna-Kat. You
know what she likes...
372
00:13:35,230 --> 00:13:37,159
true crime fiction, the
wrath of Mother Nature,
373
00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,652
YouTube videos of sleeping
bears falling out of trees.
374
00:13:40,630 --> 00:13:42,460
And ponies.
375
00:13:42,470 --> 00:13:44,899
Maybe I'm not trying too hard,
376
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:47,659
but, actually, I'm not
trying hard enough.
377
00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,244
So the opposite of what I just said?
378
00:13:49,245 --> 00:13:50,919
I use you as a sounding board, Greg.
379
00:13:50,920 --> 00:13:52,680
I don't come to you for answers.
380
00:13:53,340 --> 00:13:55,409
I'll give you a Jolly Rancher
381
00:13:55,410 --> 00:13:57,550
if you help me bond with my kid.
382
00:13:58,600 --> 00:14:00,630
You're mine now.
383
00:14:04,720 --> 00:14:06,059
Now, step two.
384
00:14:06,060 --> 00:14:08,055
You need to put this all
over your faces and bodies.
385
00:14:08,056 --> 00:14:09,629
- What is that?
- It's a homemade salve
386
00:14:09,630 --> 00:14:11,266
of mustard, turmeric, and garlic.
387
00:14:11,267 --> 00:14:12,759
Now that the toxins are out,
388
00:14:12,760 --> 00:14:14,853
you need to put this in
your pores immediately.
389
00:14:14,854 --> 00:14:16,981
That's not necessary, Dad.
We're feeling much better.
390
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:19,219
Do you guys know what
alkaline-hepatitis-12 is?
391
00:14:19,220 --> 00:14:20,619
- No.
- Well, you can get it
392
00:14:20,620 --> 00:14:21,629
if you don't do this.
393
00:14:29,702 --> 00:14:32,037
When you're done putting it
on, get back in the bathroom.
394
00:14:33,250 --> 00:14:35,082
Okay, now you have to let the heat
395
00:14:35,083 --> 00:14:36,439
melt it into your pores.
396
00:14:36,440 --> 00:14:37,584
I'll be back in an hour.
397
00:14:42,966 --> 00:14:44,258
We're missing a lot of fun.
398
00:14:44,259 --> 00:14:45,635
Pictures can be deceiving.
399
00:14:45,636 --> 00:14:46,859
There's a video.
400
00:14:46,860 --> 00:14:48,679
This is the best time of my life!
401
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,339
It's just one person.
402
00:14:50,340 --> 00:14:52,569
We're all having the
best time of our lives!
403
00:14:57,105 --> 00:14:59,439
Hey, Anna-Kat, look who I just found!
404
00:14:59,440 --> 00:15:01,609
It is Major Cuddles!
405
00:15:01,610 --> 00:15:04,269
And he has come to life!
406
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,460
Mom, no.
407
00:15:05,470 --> 00:15:07,649
Playing with toy ponies is one thing,
408
00:15:07,650 --> 00:15:10,659
but playing with real-life ponies
409
00:15:10,660 --> 00:15:12,077
is even better.
410
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:14,190
You still play with toy ponies?
411
00:15:14,860 --> 00:15:16,089
No.
412
00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:17,833
Ponies are for babies.
413
00:15:17,834 --> 00:15:19,585
Ohh! Mrs. Otto.
414
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:22,329
Please put Beverly back!
415
00:15:22,330 --> 00:15:23,769
She spooks easily
416
00:15:23,770 --> 00:15:26,133
a-and needs the structure of her corral.
417
00:15:26,134 --> 00:15:27,539
I don't know who Beverly is.
418
00:15:27,540 --> 00:15:28,960
This is Major Cuddles.
419
00:15:29,620 --> 00:15:32,890
Do you and your friends
want to pet Major Cuddles?
420
00:15:35,510 --> 00:15:37,603
Can you stop? Please.
421
00:15:37,604 --> 00:15:38,849
Come on, Anna-Kat.
422
00:15:38,850 --> 00:15:40,772
I took the day off to hang out with you.
423
00:15:40,773 --> 00:15:42,232
Can we talk about this later?
424
00:15:42,233 --> 00:15:43,525
Why can't we talk about it now?
425
00:15:43,526 --> 00:15:45,360
Because you're ruining the field trip.
426
00:15:45,361 --> 00:15:47,329
I am not ruining the field trip.
427
00:15:47,330 --> 00:15:48,822
Am I, Major Cuddles?
428
00:15:54,871 --> 00:15:56,205
My gazebo!
429
00:15:56,206 --> 00:15:57,539
Beverly!
430
00:15:58,670 --> 00:16:01,711
Okay. Now I'm ruining the field trip.
431
00:16:02,700 --> 00:16:05,439
Beverly! Come back here, girl!
432
00:16:05,440 --> 00:16:07,299
Beverly, please come home!
433
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:10,039
Maybe all of this
yelling is scaring her.
434
00:16:10,040 --> 00:16:11,500
We should ease up for a sec.
435
00:16:11,510 --> 00:16:13,879
That's good advice for you, too.
436
00:16:13,880 --> 00:16:16,579
Hey! That is not fair.
437
00:16:16,580 --> 00:16:19,039
You know, the only reason that
I came on this field trip
438
00:16:19,040 --> 00:16:21,689
was because I felt bad
about working a lot lately
439
00:16:21,690 --> 00:16:23,440
and not spending enough time with you.
440
00:16:23,441 --> 00:16:25,567
You're just trying to
force having fun with me.
441
00:16:25,568 --> 00:16:27,159
It is not forced.
442
00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,629
I am just trying to connect
by doing things you like.
443
00:16:29,630 --> 00:16:32,469
First Day on Earth, singing "Mickey"...
444
00:16:32,470 --> 00:16:34,179
I don't like those things anymore.
445
00:16:34,180 --> 00:16:35,990
Well, what about ponies?
446
00:16:35,995 --> 00:16:38,330
You were just playing with
your ponies yesterday at home.
447
00:16:38,331 --> 00:16:40,039
Yeah... at home.
448
00:16:40,040 --> 00:16:43,679
I don't need my friends knowing
I still play with ponies.
449
00:16:43,680 --> 00:16:46,047
Can't you see how that can
be embarrassing for me?
450
00:16:48,620 --> 00:16:49,967
Yeah.
451
00:16:49,968 --> 00:16:52,719
Mom, I've changed. I like
different stuff now.
452
00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:53,790
I have new friends,
453
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:55,720
and I just want to be
like everyone else.
454
00:16:58,790 --> 00:17:01,399
It's almost time to go.
455
00:17:01,400 --> 00:17:03,199
I'm gonna go get on the bus.
456
00:17:11,610 --> 00:17:13,309
Well, we found Beverly.
457
00:17:13,310 --> 00:17:14,609
She's back in her corral,
458
00:17:14,610 --> 00:17:16,368
sleeping under four weighted blankets.
459
00:17:16,369 --> 00:17:20,749
Man. I blinked for a second,
and she changed on me.
460
00:17:20,750 --> 00:17:23,079
No matter how many times it happens,
461
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,960
I'm never ready for it.
462
00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:26,619
I know what you mean.
463
00:17:26,620 --> 00:17:29,259
I wasn't ready to lose my gazebo, but...
464
00:17:29,260 --> 00:17:30,299
here I am.
465
00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:35,529
I'll get you for this, Katie Otto.
466
00:17:38,099 --> 00:17:40,726
Okay, that's enough of that.
467
00:17:40,727 --> 00:17:42,686
Get me in the shower immediately!
468
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,646
Hang on. There's one last
thing you need to do.
469
00:17:44,647 --> 00:17:45,779
Put these in your ears.
470
00:17:45,780 --> 00:17:47,190
You have to be joking.
471
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,450
I know, but in most of the world,
472
00:17:48,460 --> 00:17:50,620
onions are used to treat
all sorts of illnesses.
473
00:17:50,630 --> 00:17:52,990
This is quick... five minutes,
and then you're totally done.
474
00:17:53,580 --> 00:17:55,241
What do the scallions do?
475
00:17:55,242 --> 00:17:57,920
They make you look more ridiculous.
476
00:17:57,930 --> 00:17:58,950
What are you doing?
477
00:17:58,953 --> 00:18:00,519
After your mother threw
me off the school bus,
478
00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:01,759
I came home to check on you guys.
479
00:18:01,760 --> 00:18:03,299
I quickly found Trip and Cooper,
480
00:18:03,300 --> 00:18:05,751
who are for sure the worst
hiders in the world.
481
00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,859
When I asked them what
they were doing there,
482
00:18:19,860 --> 00:18:23,519
Cooper started giving me what
was clearly an elaborate lie.
483
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:25,279
I made it clear unless
he told me the truth,
484
00:18:25,280 --> 00:18:27,106
I'd tell your mother everything.
485
00:18:27,720 --> 00:18:30,120
He immediately spilled his guts.
486
00:18:31,820 --> 00:18:33,403
When I asked Trip to confirm the story,
487
00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:36,459
he said he couldn't because he
didn't know what was going on.
488
00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:38,992
If you guys ever lie to me again,
489
00:18:38,993 --> 00:18:40,919
I will post this picture everywhere
490
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,519
so all your friends see it.
491
00:18:42,520 --> 00:18:44,623
I'll post it at the school
library, at Izzo's Hardware...
492
00:18:44,624 --> 00:18:46,619
It would just be easier to
post it on the Internet.
493
00:18:46,620 --> 00:18:47,870
Why are you helping him?
494
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:50,340
That was really messed up, Dad.
495
00:18:50,350 --> 00:18:51,838
I thought you were the nice parent.
496
00:18:51,839 --> 00:18:53,790
I am nice, but you took advantage of me,
497
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:56,079
so the lesson is, never
piss off the nice parent,
498
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,470
because if you do, you get
punished 10 times harder.
499
00:18:58,471 --> 00:18:59,519
You'll also be happy to know
500
00:18:59,520 --> 00:19:00,810
the stuff you rubbed all over yourself
501
00:19:00,820 --> 00:19:02,680
turned out to be a darn
good salad dressing.
502
00:19:02,684 --> 00:19:04,602
Yeah, that really turns my day around.
503
00:19:14,300 --> 00:19:15,890
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
504
00:19:15,900 --> 00:19:17,159
♪ You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪
505
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:18,670
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
506
00:19:18,690 --> 00:19:20,599
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
507
00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,240
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
508
00:19:22,250 --> 00:19:23,599
♪ You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪
509
00:19:23,600 --> 00:19:25,120
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
510
00:19:25,140 --> 00:19:27,370
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
511
00:19:29,810 --> 00:19:33,049
♪ Oh, Mickey, what a pity,
you don't understand ♪
512
00:19:33,050 --> 00:19:36,460
♪ You take me by the heart
when you take me by the hand ♪
513
00:19:36,470 --> 00:19:39,429
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so pretty,
you don't understand ♪
514
00:19:39,430 --> 00:19:41,859
It's guys like you, Mickey!
515
00:19:41,860 --> 00:19:44,766
♪ Oh, what you do, Mickey, do, Mickey ♪
516
00:19:44,767 --> 00:19:47,230
♪ Don't break my heart, Mickey ♪
517
00:19:48,900 --> 00:19:50,981
Thanks for throwing me a bone.
518
00:19:50,982 --> 00:19:52,169
No problem.
519
00:19:52,170 --> 00:19:54,469
And if you want to chaperone
another field trip,
520
00:19:54,470 --> 00:19:55,999
- if you behave...
- Mm-hmm.
521
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,028
... I'd be okay with that.
522
00:19:57,029 --> 00:19:59,509
That is so sweet.
523
00:19:59,510 --> 00:20:02,367
But I've been banned
from all field trips.
524
00:20:02,368 --> 00:20:03,952
Was that the point of the whole day?
525
00:20:03,953 --> 00:20:07,957
No. Just an awesome bonus.
526
00:20:10,020 --> 00:20:11,770
♪ Oh, Mickey, you're so fine ♪
527
00:20:11,780 --> 00:20:13,189
♪ You're so fine, you blow my mind ♪
528
00:20:13,190 --> 00:20:14,600
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
529
00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,132
♪ Hey, Mickey ♪
530
00:20:16,980 --> 00:20:18,599
They totally fell for it.
531
00:20:20,710 --> 00:20:22,137
You're a real hard-ass today.
532
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:23,221
I know. It was really fun.
533
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,149
What is going on around here?
534
00:20:25,150 --> 00:20:26,249
You're mean.
535
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:28,979
Anna-Kat has become a
normal kid with friends.
536
00:20:28,980 --> 00:20:30,479
Wait, let me check something.
537
00:20:30,480 --> 00:20:32,619
Taylor, how you doing, honey?
538
00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:34,899
Good! Doing homework! Love you so much!
539
00:20:34,900 --> 00:20:37,789
I have no idea what's going on anymore.
540
00:20:42,260 --> 00:20:44,229
That's weird. There's nobody here.
541
00:20:44,230 --> 00:20:46,160
Hmm.
542
00:20:47,740 --> 00:20:49,649
In your face!
543
00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:54,560
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.MY-SUBS.com --
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