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1
00:00:05,250 --> 00:00:07,250
{\an8}Yikes!
2
00:00:07,250 --> 00:00:10,130
{\an8}Courthouse cafeteria
lobster roll?
3
00:00:10,130 --> 00:00:14,430
{\an8}20 bucks says you can't
keep that down for two hours.
4
00:00:14,430 --> 00:00:17,850
You're talking to a woman who
once ate calamari in The Hole.
5
00:00:17,850 --> 00:00:20,220
Oh. You know, we get it.
You were in prison.
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00:00:20,220 --> 00:00:22,640
The Hole is what
I call the state of Ohio.
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00:00:24,980 --> 00:00:26,900
The water in the water fountain
is carbonated again.
8
00:00:26,900 --> 00:00:28,820
Can't tell
if it's concerning or fancy.
9
00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:31,900
Well, it depends.
Do you consider tetanus fancy?
10
00:00:31,900 --> 00:00:34,450
So, my favorite
law professor e-mailed,
11
00:00:34,450 --> 00:00:36,700
and she needs a speaker
for a lecture next week.
12
00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:38,700
Do you want to do it?
- Abby, you know I only
13
00:00:38,700 --> 00:00:41,580
ever leave the city
for farm-to-table dining, hm?
14
00:00:41,580 --> 00:00:44,290
- I was asking Julianne.
- And I was saying yes.
15
00:00:44,290 --> 00:00:45,960
Aww!
16
00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:47,830
Why would I ask you, Dan?
You'll just say no.
17
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,500
That's even more hurtful.
18
00:00:49,500 --> 00:00:51,460
You know how much
I love saying no to things.
19
00:00:51,460 --> 00:00:53,470
I do. You're the only person
I've seen giddy
20
00:00:53,470 --> 00:00:56,220
from rejecting
a computer software update.
21
00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,760
Oh, Dan. Always the duck-duck,
never the goose.
22
00:01:00,770 --> 00:01:02,680
You can't blame her.
23
00:01:02,680 --> 00:01:05,020
I mean, she did choose
the better lawyer.
24
00:01:05,020 --> 00:01:08,480
Uh-- You think
you're the better lawyer?
25
00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,690
The only way I would believe
that is if I argued it in court,
26
00:01:11,690 --> 00:01:13,940
and I wouldn't argue it
because I'm the better lawyer.
27
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,530
Do you see the conundrum
we have here?
28
00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:18,780
You sound crazy.
29
00:01:18,780 --> 00:01:20,160
You know,
and that's coming from someone
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00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:22,660
who spent six months
in a group home.
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00:01:22,660 --> 00:01:26,080
The group was the Bee Gees.
And I dated all three.
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00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:28,080
So many teeth.
33
00:01:29,500 --> 00:01:32,550
I'll tell you what. You pick
any case on the docket tonight,
34
00:01:32,550 --> 00:01:36,130
and I will beat the cashmere
blend pants off of ya.
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00:01:37,970 --> 00:01:41,140
Hey, look! Look!
There's Mr. Fielding!
36
00:01:42,680 --> 00:01:44,680
- Oh, God.
- Dan, do you know
37
00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:48,020
those two Great Depression
time travelers?
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00:01:48,020 --> 00:01:49,480
Do not make eye contact.
39
00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:51,360
That's Bob and June Wheeler,
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00:01:51,360 --> 00:01:54,820
the only living creatures
I know who can haunt a place.
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00:01:54,820 --> 00:01:57,740
Mr. Fielding! Mr. Fielding!
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00:02:02,540 --> 00:02:04,700
Oh, no, Dan.
43
00:02:04,700 --> 00:02:07,710
You might have to defend us
for that, too.
44
00:02:10,880 --> 00:02:13,840
I think we found our case.
45
00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:15,420
Oh, but you're
such a good lawyer.
46
00:02:15,420 --> 00:02:17,840
I'm sure you'll be fine.
Knock on wood.
47
00:02:17,840 --> 00:02:20,300
Don't let 'em knock
on anything.
48
00:02:27,020 --> 00:02:29,060
Thanks again for showing me
to the cafeteria.
49
00:02:29,060 --> 00:02:31,770
I can't believe I almost ate
my sandwich in the morgue!
50
00:02:31,770 --> 00:02:33,520
{\an8}They do look similar,
but the people
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00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,530
{\an8}lying on the tables in here
are just super-drunk.
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00:02:35,530 --> 00:02:38,740
{\an8}Ohh! Cute and funny.
53
00:02:38,740 --> 00:02:40,320
{\an8}I'm Crash, by the way.
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00:02:40,320 --> 00:02:42,320
{\an8}Crash.
I like a one-syllable name.
55
00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,410
{\an8}I'm Abby. That's two syllables.
So stupid.
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00:02:46,910 --> 00:02:49,080
{\an8}Well, here's two
one-syllable words.
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00:02:49,080 --> 00:02:50,290
{\an8}call me.
58
00:02:52,670 --> 00:02:54,670
{\an8}Looks like that
industrial-strength deodorant
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00:02:54,670 --> 00:02:56,500
{\an8}is really payin' off.
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00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,260
{\an8}Abby, pull yourself together.
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00:02:58,260 --> 00:03:00,550
{\an8}People are trying to eavesdrop.
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00:03:00,550 --> 00:03:03,390
{\an8}That guy was super-hot.
Like "red eye" hot.
63
00:03:03,390 --> 00:03:05,260
{\an8}Like, I want to ride him
for six hours
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00:03:05,260 --> 00:03:07,390
{\an8}and wake up in a different city.
65
00:03:08,730 --> 00:03:10,940
{\an8}Yeah, too bad there's
something wrong with him.
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00:03:10,940 --> 00:03:13,440
{\an8}Is he the kayaker
in the herpes commercial?
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00:03:14,150 --> 00:03:16,020
{\an8}Man, you wish.
A working actor would be
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00:03:16,030 --> 00:03:18,320
{\an8}an improvement
over the guys you've dated.
69
00:03:18,320 --> 00:03:21,950
{\an8}Since your breakup,
it's been a loser convention.
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00:03:21,950 --> 00:03:24,700
{\an8}Remember the guy
who only wore terrycloth?
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00:03:24,700 --> 00:03:26,240
{\an8}I don't know.
Must have been nice,
72
00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:28,620
{\an8}always having a towel
right there.
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00:03:28,620 --> 00:03:31,830
{\an8}Okay, so maybe my radar
has been a little off lately,
74
00:03:31,830 --> 00:03:34,420
{\an8}but I have a feeling that Crash
is gonna break that streak.
75
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:38,500
{\an8}I mean, those teeth? No way
those come off when he sleeps.
76
00:03:38,510 --> 00:03:40,760
{\an8}I bet he makes noises
when he kisses.
77
00:03:40,760 --> 00:03:42,760
{\an8}Myom-myom-myom!
78
00:03:43,800 --> 00:03:45,390
{\an8}Get used to that.
- Hm.
79
00:03:47,890 --> 00:03:51,060
{\an8}The People vs.
Bob and June Wheeler.
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00:03:51,060 --> 00:03:53,650
{\an8}Aww! The Wheelers!
Welcome back!
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00:03:53,650 --> 00:03:55,940
{\an8}And may I remind everyone,
in case of an emergency,
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00:03:55,940 --> 00:03:59,110
{\an8}the exits are in the front
and the back of the courtroom.
83
00:03:59,110 --> 00:04:01,070
{\an8}Sorry, Judge.
84
00:04:01,070 --> 00:04:03,860
{\an8}Trouble seems to find us
like we owe it money.
85
00:04:03,860 --> 00:04:05,620
{\an8}And we don't.
86
00:04:05,620 --> 00:04:08,830
{\an8}Unless "trouble" is what
they call the IRS these days.
87
00:04:10,120 --> 00:04:12,460
{\an8}The defendants are charged
with destruction of property
88
00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:15,120
{\an8}after their chickens
burrowed out of their apartment
89
00:04:15,130 --> 00:04:17,800
{\an8}and into a nearby
massage parlor.
90
00:04:18,630 --> 00:04:21,720
{\an8}From what we hear,
it was not a happy ending.
91
00:04:23,260 --> 00:04:25,550
{\an8}My clients were nowhere near
the scene of the alleged crime,
92
00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:27,220
and I don't think it's necessary
to go into detail
93
00:04:27,220 --> 00:04:29,680
as to where they--
- It was date night.
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00:04:30,850 --> 00:04:33,020
I took the missus
to her favorite restaurant--
95
00:04:33,020 --> 00:04:36,650
Trader Joe's
free sample station.
96
00:04:36,650 --> 00:04:39,270
- Mmm!
- Mmm!
97
00:04:39,270 --> 00:04:42,110
It doesn't matter where they
were when the crime happened.
98
00:04:42,110 --> 00:04:43,990
They own the chickens
and are responsible
99
00:04:43,990 --> 00:04:46,240
for the damages
to their neighbor's business.
100
00:04:46,240 --> 00:04:50,370
Oh, technically, uh,
they're not our neighbors,
101
00:04:50,370 --> 00:04:52,200
since we're squattin'.
102
00:04:54,790 --> 00:04:58,380
Technically, you're not
charged with that, so shush!
103
00:05:00,710 --> 00:05:02,380
You know what they say.
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00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:04,720
Home is where the heart is.
105
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,510
And in our case,
the hearts are
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00:05:06,510 --> 00:05:09,680
in the bathtub full of ice
until we can find a buyer.
107
00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:13,520
Permission
to approach the bench.
108
00:05:15,310 --> 00:05:17,270
I would like to ask
for a continuance
109
00:05:17,270 --> 00:05:19,520
so I can educate my clients
on their right to remain silent
110
00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,940
and to go pick up some duct tape
in order to enforce that right.
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00:05:22,940 --> 00:05:25,240
Well, Dan,
I'm feeling generous,
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00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:26,950
so I can offer you a plea deal.
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00:05:26,950 --> 00:05:30,450
I mean, yeah, you'll lose,
but, honestly,
114
00:05:30,450 --> 00:05:33,700
I can't think of anybody
who could win this case.
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00:05:33,700 --> 00:05:35,200
A good lawyer
can win this case,
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00:05:35,210 --> 00:05:36,870
regardless of what
the evidence is
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00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:39,380
or what the law
clearly states or...
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00:05:39,380 --> 00:05:42,250
which gods hate my clients.
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00:05:42,250 --> 00:05:44,260
Hey. It's fine with me.
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00:05:44,260 --> 00:05:47,720
Watching men struggle
is one of life's great joys.
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00:05:47,720 --> 00:05:50,090
I'll allow it. I don't
understand it, but I love it.
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00:05:50,100 --> 00:05:51,890
I'm excited but I'm impartial,
so I will allow it,
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00:05:51,890 --> 00:05:53,810
which is all I will say,
even though I said much more.
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00:05:53,810 --> 00:05:55,560
Court adjourned.
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00:05:56,850 --> 00:05:58,640
Look, Judge.
Your boyfriend is here.
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00:05:58,650 --> 00:06:00,060
Oh.
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00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,770
Why is he hugging
the Wheelers?
128
00:06:01,770 --> 00:06:03,610
I mean,
t-that doesn't mean anything.
129
00:06:03,610 --> 00:06:05,440
I hug strangers all the time.
130
00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:08,700
I hug the Domino's guy
when I'm really hungry.
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00:06:08,700 --> 00:06:13,240
Oh! That's what's wrong
with him. He's a Wheeler.
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00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:14,990
It could be worse.
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00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:17,710
Myom-myom-myom-myom!
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00:06:17,710 --> 00:06:20,540
Never mind.
That's as bad as it gets.
135
00:06:25,380 --> 00:06:27,090
Okay. Look.
I'm not gonna lie to you.
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00:06:27,090 --> 00:06:28,970
They have a strong case
against you,
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00:06:28,970 --> 00:06:32,010
especially given how much
you admit to all the charges.
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00:06:32,970 --> 00:06:35,810
As Dan's paralegal,
I'd like to go on record
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00:06:35,810 --> 00:06:38,850
as saying
you have excellent snacks.
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00:06:39,980 --> 00:06:41,350
- Murray.
- Hm?
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00:06:41,360 --> 00:06:42,770
- That's chicken feed.
- Are you sure?
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00:06:42,770 --> 00:06:45,070
There's a chicken on the bag!
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00:06:45,070 --> 00:06:48,110
So Frosted Flakes
are just for tigers?
144
00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:50,150
And you have to be a sea captain
to enjoy
145
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,490
the mouth-cutting delight
that is Cap'n Crunch?
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00:06:52,490 --> 00:06:55,990
You--
You sound ridiculous, Dan!
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00:06:55,990 --> 00:06:57,410
Can he be our lawyer?
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00:06:57,410 --> 00:07:00,210
Oh! You can't afford me.
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00:07:01,960 --> 00:07:03,750
Alright. Look.
You're only guilty
150
00:07:03,750 --> 00:07:06,300
if the prosecution can prove
that you own those chickens.
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00:07:06,300 --> 00:07:08,380
And I can win this
if you just don't admit
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00:07:08,380 --> 00:07:09,720
to owning those birds!
153
00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,380
- But those are our bir--
- Stop!
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00:07:11,390 --> 00:07:12,800
- We are the ow--
- Don't!
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00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,300
We're the only parents
they ever ha--
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00:07:14,300 --> 00:07:16,470
Shoosh!
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00:07:16,470 --> 00:07:18,680
As far as you're concerned,
those birds flew to the city
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00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,850
to make it big on Broadway.
159
00:07:21,980 --> 00:07:26,610
Oh, look! Santa's made it
to the Island of Misfit Toys.
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00:07:26,610 --> 00:07:28,530
Hey, Miss Julianne.
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00:07:28,530 --> 00:07:30,440
Guess what we're not
supposed to say we own,
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00:07:30,450 --> 00:07:33,110
except that we do.
- You just-- Would you--
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00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,700
Hey, Bob. Here.
Here's a quarter.
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00:07:34,700 --> 00:07:36,280
Go buy a gumball
or something else
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00:07:36,290 --> 00:07:38,750
that'll fit perfectly
in your esophagus.
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00:07:39,580 --> 00:07:42,580
I have an esophagus, too,
you know.
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00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,470
Dan, I'm gonna tell you
the same thing I told my shrink.
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00:07:51,470 --> 00:07:53,340
You're wasting your time.
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00:07:54,300 --> 00:07:55,930
And you are not gonna be happy
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00:07:55,930 --> 00:07:58,310
when you see the surprise
I have in store for you.
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00:07:58,310 --> 00:08:00,350
The joke's on you.
I'm never happy.
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00:08:01,520 --> 00:08:03,690
Look. She must have
a surprise witness.
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00:08:03,690 --> 00:08:05,730
Find out who it is.
- Oh, I don't know, Dan.
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00:08:05,730 --> 00:08:07,360
She went to a lot of trouble.
175
00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:09,740
Are you sure you want
to ruin the surprise?
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00:08:12,530 --> 00:08:15,410
Alright.
Crash Wheeler pros and cons.
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00:08:15,410 --> 00:08:18,030
The pros are obvious.
Cute. Sweet.
178
00:08:18,040 --> 00:08:19,540
Carries himself
with the confidence
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00:08:19,540 --> 00:08:22,160
of a man with six to eight abs.
180
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:24,710
I don't know
if this is a pro or con,
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00:08:24,710 --> 00:08:28,000
but his whole family is cursed.
182
00:08:29,500 --> 00:08:31,670
Okay, but we don't know
that he's cursed.
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00:08:31,670 --> 00:08:33,760
He's not like them
in other ways.
184
00:08:33,760 --> 00:08:37,220
I mean, he looks like he's at
least aware of indoor plumbing.
185
00:08:38,970 --> 00:08:40,810
There's only one way
to find out.
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00:08:40,810 --> 00:08:43,180
Hey, Crash!
- Mnh! Inviting the curse over?
187
00:08:43,190 --> 00:08:44,640
What's the point of ranting
188
00:08:44,650 --> 00:08:47,270
if you're just
gonna do it anyway?
189
00:08:47,270 --> 00:08:49,610
Hey, Abby.
This is my sister, Carol Ann.
190
00:08:49,610 --> 00:08:51,690
Nice to see you again, Judge!
191
00:08:51,690 --> 00:08:55,450
Well, nice to see anything
after staring at that eclipse.
192
00:09:02,580 --> 00:09:04,250
So, I was thinking
it might be good
193
00:09:04,250 --> 00:09:06,210
to get to know each other
a little better.
194
00:09:06,210 --> 00:09:09,710
Like, what's your favorite food?
What's your favorite animal?
195
00:09:09,710 --> 00:09:12,460
Are you the victim
of an ancient hillbilly curse?
196
00:09:13,630 --> 00:09:15,880
My brother
is definitely cursed.
197
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:18,390
Do you know this dummy has a job
198
00:09:18,390 --> 00:09:20,890
and he don't even
get paid for it?
199
00:09:20,890 --> 00:09:24,020
It's called volunteering.
200
00:09:24,020 --> 00:09:25,890
I help at
the Boys & Girls Club.
201
00:09:25,890 --> 00:09:29,770
Oh, yeah? Well, he was in
an institution for four years.
202
00:09:29,770 --> 00:09:32,020
College.
203
00:09:32,030 --> 00:09:34,030
I graduated from UPenn.
204
00:09:34,030 --> 00:09:36,320
Short for U-Penitentiary.
205
00:09:37,240 --> 00:09:39,870
I assume you know it's not.
206
00:09:39,870 --> 00:09:41,990
So, just to be clear,
207
00:09:41,990 --> 00:09:43,950
you're a hottie
with an Ivy League degree?
208
00:09:43,950 --> 00:09:46,660
Which you've applied
towards helping America's youth?
209
00:09:46,670 --> 00:09:49,210
All while using those muscles
to flip tires
210
00:09:49,210 --> 00:09:52,300
and flail big ropes
in your private sweat cathedral?
211
00:09:57,380 --> 00:09:59,590
See? What a zero.
212
00:09:59,590 --> 00:10:02,140
He don't even talk good
like we done.
213
00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:06,930
I have to run.
Red Cross is calling
214
00:10:06,940 --> 00:10:08,890
about an emergency
blood donation.
215
00:10:08,900 --> 00:10:12,150
I'm a universal donor,
so I'm everybody's type.
216
00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,190
- Yeah, you are.
- Yeah, you are.
217
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:21,280
Uh, what's a four-letter word
for breakfast?
218
00:10:21,280 --> 00:10:23,790
Oh. Never mind. It's sudoku.
219
00:10:25,870 --> 00:10:28,250
Oh. There you are. Tell me
you found the surprise witness
220
00:10:28,250 --> 00:10:31,380
and you weren't sidetracked
by a balloon again.
221
00:10:31,380 --> 00:10:32,920
That balloon
looked just like me.
222
00:10:32,920 --> 00:10:35,250
If anything,
I didn't look at it enough.
223
00:10:35,260 --> 00:10:37,260
But, Dan, Dan, Dan. Focus.
224
00:10:37,260 --> 00:10:40,010
I followed Julianne all night,
and, boy, was it fruitful.
225
00:10:40,010 --> 00:10:42,430
"9:15.
226
00:10:42,430 --> 00:10:45,350
J...exits courthouse.
227
00:10:45,350 --> 00:10:49,190
Receives mysterious package
from man at a cart.
228
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:52,900
Package turns out
to be a hot dog."
229
00:10:52,900 --> 00:10:57,230
Then there's a lot of stuff
here about that hot dog.
230
00:10:57,240 --> 00:10:58,570
Oh! Here we go.
231
00:10:58,570 --> 00:11:00,570
"9:15 again.
232
00:11:00,570 --> 00:11:04,240
I realize
it can't still be 9:15.
233
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,040
My watch must be dead.
234
00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:12,500
9:15-- I ask J for the time.
235
00:11:12,500 --> 00:11:16,340
She says to stop
'following' her."
236
00:11:18,170 --> 00:11:20,260
How is this fruitful?
237
00:11:20,260 --> 00:11:23,760
Reconvening!
People vs. Bob and June Wheeler.
238
00:11:23,760 --> 00:11:26,260
Oh. Look at us,
reconvening like a real court.
239
00:11:26,260 --> 00:11:27,850
I'm proud of us.
240
00:11:27,850 --> 00:11:30,180
Your Honor,
I'd like to call a witness.
241
00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:32,350
Ms. Carol Ann Wheeler.
242
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,570
Well, I'll be damned.
243
00:11:36,570 --> 00:11:40,280
She has the same name
as our daughter!
244
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:42,200
And her face, too!
245
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:45,370
Do you swear to tell
the truth, the whole truth,
246
00:11:45,370 --> 00:11:47,120
and nothing but the truth,
and try to use correct grammar
247
00:11:47,120 --> 00:11:48,540
so we can all follow it?
248
00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:50,830
I did.
249
00:11:50,830 --> 00:11:53,210
Ms. Wheeler, where do you work?
250
00:11:53,210 --> 00:11:56,130
I'm a feed rep for
General Frumpton's Chicken Feed.
251
00:11:56,130 --> 00:11:59,050
Frumpton's: it's what
the thing you eat eats.
252
00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:03,550
Carol Ann, tell me.
Whose name is signed
253
00:12:03,550 --> 00:12:06,510
on this invoice
for 20 pounds of chicken feed?
254
00:12:06,510 --> 00:12:09,600
Oh! I'd recognize
that big X anywhere.
255
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:13,640
That's my daddy's signature.
Bobert Wheeler.
256
00:12:13,650 --> 00:12:15,730
Uh, Your Honor, objection.
257
00:12:15,730 --> 00:12:18,150
Purchasing feed
does not prove ownership.
258
00:12:18,150 --> 00:12:21,650
I happen to recall a woman
who bought a number of cat toys
259
00:12:21,650 --> 00:12:23,280
but never actually owned a--
- Ah. Sustained.
260
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,780
Movin' right along.
261
00:12:25,780 --> 00:12:27,490
I'd also like
to enter into evidence
262
00:12:27,490 --> 00:12:29,030
this thank-you note
263
00:12:29,040 --> 00:12:31,870
written in
Mrs. Wheeler's handwriting.
264
00:12:31,870 --> 00:12:33,910
"Thank you for being
the best big sister
265
00:12:33,920 --> 00:12:35,250
us chickens could ask for.
266
00:12:35,250 --> 00:12:36,710
The feed was delicious.
267
00:12:36,710 --> 00:12:38,670
Lots of cluck,
Edna, Otis, James..."
268
00:12:38,670 --> 00:12:41,010
Okay. I'm not reading
40 chicken names!
269
00:12:41,010 --> 00:12:43,050
No further questions,
Your Honor.
270
00:12:43,050 --> 00:12:44,800
It never occurred to you
to mention
271
00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,550
that your daughter was your
chicken-feed dealer?
272
00:12:47,550 --> 00:12:50,470
Why? You need feed?
273
00:12:50,470 --> 00:12:52,930
I can hook it up.
274
00:12:56,900 --> 00:12:58,730
I don't know.
I got to be missing something.
275
00:12:58,730 --> 00:13:00,320
No chicken could cause that kind
of damage to a massage parlor.
276
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:01,980
I mean,
what kind of crazy chicken
277
00:13:01,990 --> 00:13:04,950
pecks hot stones into gravel?!
278
00:13:04,950 --> 00:13:08,620
Two words! Foghorn Leghorn!
279
00:13:08,620 --> 00:13:12,160
You find that cartoon chicken,
we blow this case wide open!
280
00:13:12,160 --> 00:13:15,250
Murray. Murray. Calm down.
We can figure this out.
281
00:13:15,250 --> 00:13:17,710
Now, tell me. What kind of dirt
did you dig up on Carol Ann?
282
00:13:17,710 --> 00:13:20,130
Oh. Lots of dirt.
Lots of dirt.
283
00:13:20,130 --> 00:13:22,760
And twigs.
And abandoned shoelaces.
284
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,170
What the-- Hey! What?!
What the hell?!
285
00:13:25,180 --> 00:13:26,720
I'm trying to build a case here!
286
00:13:26,720 --> 00:13:28,800
What are you doing,
making a nest?!
287
00:13:28,800 --> 00:13:31,140
I didn't like the way
those papers were looking at me.
288
00:13:31,140 --> 00:13:35,060
And I heard
what those shoelaces said!
289
00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:36,850
- Murray.
- Hm?
290
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,900
How long have you been
eating Frumpton's feed?
291
00:13:38,900 --> 00:13:41,780
I don't know. One sunrise.
292
00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:45,860
Murray, I think
you just saved my case.
293
00:13:45,860 --> 00:13:48,110
That food is poison!
294
00:13:48,110 --> 00:13:50,570
You gotta promise me
you will not stop eating it
295
00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:52,660
until we beat Julianne.
296
00:13:52,660 --> 00:13:55,080
- You know I won't.
- Oh! Ha ha!
297
00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:57,750
Alright.
298
00:14:01,630 --> 00:14:03,380
These are beautiful.
299
00:14:03,380 --> 00:14:05,460
My family thinks
flowers are a waste of money.
300
00:14:05,470 --> 00:14:06,880
That's why at their wedding
301
00:14:06,880 --> 00:14:08,930
Mama threw a bouquet
of hose parts.
302
00:14:13,350 --> 00:14:15,270
Sorry. What?
I was just thinking about
303
00:14:15,270 --> 00:14:17,940
how your jaw line
could cut fudge!
304
00:14:19,400 --> 00:14:21,150
Hi, Crash!
305
00:14:21,150 --> 00:14:23,520
Girl, calm down.
There's no need to yell.
306
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,690
I'll see you tonight.
307
00:14:25,690 --> 00:14:27,740
So you're going out
with a Wheeler?
308
00:14:27,740 --> 00:14:29,910
Yep. And he brought me
these beautiful flowers...
309
00:14:31,530 --> 00:14:34,370
...that are, for some reason,
hissing at me.
310
00:14:34,370 --> 00:14:35,950
Maybe because they were picked
311
00:14:35,950 --> 00:14:39,210
by a cursed man
from a cursed garden.
312
00:14:39,210 --> 00:14:40,790
Would a cursed man be taking me
313
00:14:40,790 --> 00:14:42,590
to a hot new
Italian restaurant tonight?
314
00:14:42,590 --> 00:14:44,800
By any chance,
is it Nicolazzo's?
315
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,210
Oh, yeah.
Have you heard good things?
316
00:14:46,210 --> 00:14:48,630
{\an8}It's burning down right now.
317
00:14:54,970 --> 00:14:57,100
Ooh!
318
00:15:00,060 --> 00:15:02,730
Ms. Wheeler,
you recognize this man?
319
00:15:02,730 --> 00:15:06,400
No, but he kinda looks like
a balloon I saw once.
320
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,150
This is Murray Flobert,
a loving husband,
321
00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:12,450
a respected judge,
322
00:15:12,450 --> 00:15:14,160
a song-and-dance man.
323
00:15:14,160 --> 00:15:16,450
It's song or dance man!
324
00:15:16,450 --> 00:15:19,330
I cannot do them together!
No one can!
325
00:15:21,540 --> 00:15:24,630
But lately,
he has been quick to rage.
326
00:15:24,630 --> 00:15:27,420
What's changed? His diet.
327
00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:30,590
He's been eating
General Frumpton's feed,
328
00:15:30,590 --> 00:15:34,090
the same feed that was given
to the Wheelers' chickens.
329
00:15:34,100 --> 00:15:36,350
If the defense
wants to waste people's time
330
00:15:36,350 --> 00:15:38,060
with unfounded claims,
then he should just
331
00:15:38,060 --> 00:15:40,810
bitch to his doorman
like a normal New Yorker!
332
00:15:42,480 --> 00:15:45,230
There is nothin' in our feed
that would cause violence.
333
00:15:45,230 --> 00:15:47,150
The only side effect
is happy birds
334
00:15:47,150 --> 00:15:50,490
with the biggest chicken
knockers you've ever seen!
335
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:56,280
Perhaps you wouldn't mind
demonstrating to us
336
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,450
how harmless the feed is by...
337
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:02,960
...eating it.
- Objection! No.
338
00:16:02,960 --> 00:16:04,920
This is clearly
food for animals.
339
00:16:04,920 --> 00:16:06,960
There's-- There's
a chicken on the bag.
340
00:16:06,960 --> 00:16:08,670
So you have to be a leprechaun
341
00:16:08,670 --> 00:16:10,840
to enjoy the
chalky marshmallow hell
342
00:16:10,840 --> 00:16:12,720
that is Lucky Charms?!
343
00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,390
That logic is bulletproof.
Overruled.
344
00:16:17,850 --> 00:16:19,260
It's fine.
345
00:16:19,270 --> 00:16:22,230
I'd be delighted
to have a tasty bite. Mmm!
346
00:16:22,230 --> 00:16:26,690
Can Really taste the corn
and the-- and the millet. Mmm!
347
00:16:26,690 --> 00:16:29,020
Nyum-nyum-nyum-nyum-nyum,
nyum-nyum-nyum-nyum!
348
00:16:29,030 --> 00:16:33,650
Let the record show that the
witness is clearly fake eating
349
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:38,330
and that her space work
is middling at best.
350
00:16:38,330 --> 00:16:41,200
Why won't you eat the feed,
Carol Ann?
351
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,210
Why won't you eat the feed?!
352
00:16:45,420 --> 00:16:47,210
Because it's full
of steroids
353
00:16:47,210 --> 00:16:50,090
and I'm happy with
the size of my knockers!
354
00:16:53,300 --> 00:16:54,630
So the chickens' violence
355
00:16:54,630 --> 00:16:56,760
is not the Wheelers' fault
at all!
356
00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:01,430
The blame falls squarely
on General Frumpton's shoulders!
357
00:17:01,430 --> 00:17:04,100
No more questions, Your Honor.
- You may step down.
358
00:17:04,100 --> 00:17:06,020
As a reformed arsonist,
I'm not so sure
359
00:17:06,020 --> 00:17:08,480
you're supposed to be
this close to me because,
360
00:17:08,480 --> 00:17:10,860
hoo-hoo, I'm on fire!
361
00:17:12,190 --> 00:17:14,740
Freakin' Wheelers.
362
00:17:14,740 --> 00:17:17,160
They may be the most
insufferable family
363
00:17:17,160 --> 00:17:20,120
I've ever met, and I went
camping with the Mansons.
364
00:17:21,450 --> 00:17:23,370
Alright. Listen. We did it.
365
00:17:23,370 --> 00:17:25,120
Now all you have to do
is testify
366
00:17:25,120 --> 00:17:27,960
that you gave the feed
to the chickens, and we win.
367
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:29,540
- Seems simple enough.
- Yeah.
368
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:33,300
Your Honor,
we change our plea to guilty.
369
00:17:35,340 --> 00:17:39,550
We're taking the deal that
flight attendant offered us.
370
00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:43,180
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?!
371
00:17:43,180 --> 00:17:44,770
I object! Wait.
372
00:17:44,770 --> 00:17:46,730
Can I object to my own clients?
373
00:17:46,730 --> 00:17:49,020
Well, you know,
when life gives you lemons,
374
00:17:49,020 --> 00:17:52,440
you don't ask
why the lemons are so stupid.
375
00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:54,490
You got a deal.
376
00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:56,650
Okay. Court is adjourned.
377
00:17:59,700 --> 00:18:02,870
I want it on the record.
This is in no way curse-related.
378
00:18:06,580 --> 00:18:08,420
I can't believe I lost.
379
00:18:08,420 --> 00:18:10,290
I can't believe I won.
380
00:18:10,290 --> 00:18:12,540
I mean, I knew I'd win until
the moment I thought you'd won,
381
00:18:12,550 --> 00:18:14,800
and then
I couldn't believe I won.
382
00:18:16,550 --> 00:18:18,930
You know, I'm getting sick
of defending people.
383
00:18:18,930 --> 00:18:20,720
Oh! Wait.
384
00:18:20,720 --> 00:18:22,810
What does a lighthouse keeper
pull down these days?
385
00:18:22,810 --> 00:18:26,020
I mean,
I've already got the beard.
386
00:18:26,020 --> 00:18:28,600
And I love being alone.
- Yeah.
387
00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:29,980
Well, for what it's worth,
388
00:18:29,980 --> 00:18:32,270
you did a hell of a job
up there.
389
00:18:32,270 --> 00:18:34,110
You too.
390
00:18:34,110 --> 00:18:36,610
Actually, it's the best fun
I've had in quite a while
391
00:18:36,610 --> 00:18:38,400
till the Wheelers
threw me under the bus.
392
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:41,530
Well, as the bus,
it was my favorite part.
393
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:44,450
Hey, there, Mr. Fielding!
394
00:18:44,450 --> 00:18:46,620
Bye, there, Mr. Fielding!
395
00:18:48,710 --> 00:18:50,960
We just wanted to say
thank you.
396
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:53,380
Because of your
good lawyering,
397
00:18:53,380 --> 00:18:56,210
General Frumpton
gave us a financial reward
398
00:18:56,210 --> 00:18:58,090
in exchange for our silence.
399
00:18:58,090 --> 00:18:59,680
So that's why you took
the plea deal, huh?
400
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:01,340
Screwed me
for a little bit of money.
401
00:19:01,340 --> 00:19:04,930
- It was a lot of bit of money.
- Yeah...
402
00:19:04,930 --> 00:19:06,890
But some of it is for you.
403
00:19:06,890 --> 00:19:08,390
No, I don't want your curse.
404
00:19:08,390 --> 00:19:11,850
Ohh!
405
00:19:11,860 --> 00:19:13,770
$300,000?
406
00:19:13,770 --> 00:19:17,190
We're using the rest to open
our own theme park--
407
00:19:17,190 --> 00:19:19,990
Wheeler World.
408
00:19:19,990 --> 00:19:23,200
It's like a water park
but with mud.
409
00:19:26,580 --> 00:19:28,750
We're looking for investors.
410
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:37,000
Yes. I would, um,
like to invest in my future.
411
00:19:37,010 --> 00:19:38,420
There you go.
412
00:19:38,420 --> 00:19:41,180
Please... never come back.
413
00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,890
We could never quit him.
414
00:19:51,140 --> 00:19:52,480
Still no word from Abby.
415
00:19:52,480 --> 00:19:55,270
No, but I have
a Google alert set
416
00:19:55,270 --> 00:19:58,650
for "blonde, judge,
terrible accident."
417
00:20:00,820 --> 00:20:02,860
Oh. False alarm.
418
00:20:02,860 --> 00:20:05,200
Heidi Klum
fell off a trampoline.
419
00:20:06,530 --> 00:20:10,200
There's someone who hasn't
been struck by indoor lightning!
420
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:12,500
Did your date go well?
- Mm-hmm.
421
00:20:12,500 --> 00:20:14,880
- Did you get a good-night kiss?
- Mm-hmm.
422
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:16,340
Did that kiss
do something to you
423
00:20:16,340 --> 00:20:18,550
that makes it hard
for you to speak?
424
00:20:18,550 --> 00:20:21,510
What makes ya say that?
425
00:20:21,510 --> 00:20:23,130
Why are you talking
like a Wheeler?
426
00:20:23,130 --> 00:20:25,760
The curse!
427
00:20:25,760 --> 00:20:27,760
It's not a curse.
428
00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:30,350
What it was, was we was
kissing in the French style,
429
00:20:30,350 --> 00:20:32,520
and I had a reaction
to the shrimp he ate.
430
00:20:32,520 --> 00:20:35,440
So now my lips are numb
and my tongue is big.
431
00:20:35,440 --> 00:20:38,690
Abby, if this is what happens
after only one date,
432
00:20:38,690 --> 00:20:40,690
we're all in grave danger.
433
00:20:40,690 --> 00:20:43,610
Come on! There's no
such thing as a curse.
434
00:20:47,160 --> 00:20:49,030
Okay. Look.
435
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,740
There's a great person
out there for you.
436
00:20:50,750 --> 00:20:52,200
{\an8}But you're never gonna find him
437
00:20:52,210 --> 00:20:54,290
{\an8}if a piano lands on your head.
438
00:20:55,330 --> 00:20:57,250
{\an8}Dagnabbit.
You guys are so sweet.
439
00:20:57,250 --> 00:20:58,790
{\an8}- Oh, hell no!
- Get that cursed monkey paw
440
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,000
{\an8}away from me!
441
00:21:01,010 --> 00:21:04,380
{\an8}Okay. Fine. I'll call it off.
442
00:21:04,380 --> 00:21:07,510
{\an8}"Crash. We can't see
each other no more.
443
00:21:07,510 --> 00:21:09,300
{\an8}Goodbye forever."
444
00:21:09,310 --> 00:21:10,970
{\an8}There. Did it.
445
00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:21,110
{\an8}Fine. I'll done do it
for real this time.
446
00:21:23,900 --> 00:21:25,070
{\an8}It's funny!
34479
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