Original subtitles

* just sit right back And you'll hear a tale *

* a tale of a fateful trip *

* that started From this tropic port *

* aboard this tiny ship *

* the mate was A mighty sailing man *

* the skipper brave and sure *

* five passengers Set sail that day *

* for a three hour tour *

* a three hour tour *

[thundering]

* the weather Started getting rough *

* the tiny ship was tossed *

* if not for the courage Of the fearless crew *

* the minnow would be lost *

* the minnow would be lost *

* the ship set ground On the shore *

* of this uncharted Desert isle *

* with gilligan *

* the skipper too *

* the millionaire and his wife *

* the movie star *

* the professor and mary ann *

* here on gilligan's isle **

[theme music]

Wow! Look at this mess.

Mother nature was really Angry last night.

Not only that, There was a terrible storm.

Gilligan, why don't you go Hunt up some turtle eggs.

They ought to be easy To find now.

Skipper, that's one thing I can't get used to.

- chicken eggs, yeah.. - gilligan, an egg is an egg.

I know. But every time I look down at the plate

All I can see is Sunny side turtles.

- gilligan. - yes, sir, turtle eggs.

That's right, And I'll make some coffee.

[instrumental music]

Snake!

Snake, snake, snake!

Skipper! Professor! Skipper!

(skipper) 'what?'

- I found something. - 'bring it here.'

- I can't. - 'what is it?'

I don't know.

You and the professor Better take a look.

- what is it now, gilligan? - what's the matter, gilligan?

Look, look. See?

[dramatic music]

I can't believe it. It's too good to be true.

What is it?

- that's a communication cable. - huh?

Don't you understand? It's a telephone line.

We can telephone for help.

Telephone!

[instrumental music]

You're joking, professor. This can't be a telephone lines.

- it is. I'm positive of it. - where'd it come from?

It must've been the storm.

The tides last night were higher And stronger than before

And the currents must've pulled This loop into the lagoon.

It's the greatest piece of luck.

- I know what would be luckier. - what?

If it came with A telephone booth.

Phone booth Or no phone booth

I guarantee you we'll Be able to telephone for help.

Gilligan, why don't you tell the Others all about the good news.

Yes, sir. Yes, sir. Good news, good news.

What good news?

The good news About this telephone.

- oh, that good news. - yes.

(women on radio) 'nothing much in The fashion news.'

'now news from The hollywood scene.'

'triangle studio said they Confirm the persistent rumors'

'that they are going to make The ginger grant story.'

Huh!

'the movie will be A tribute to ms. Grant'

'who's promising career was So tragically cut short.'

My life story! I can't believe it!

'casting will begin immediately And all of hollywood wonders'

'just who will be selected To play the part'

'of the beautiful Ginger grant.'

- oh. - ginger, what's the matter?

- oh, shush! Listen. - I heard you scream.

Shush, listen. They're talking about me.

'the colombian broadcasting System announces'

'that the star Of their new tv series'

'will be a hippopotamus.'

- huh! If I were you, I'd sue. - no, not that.

They just said they're gonna Make a movie about my life.

- really? - yeah, the ginger grant story.

Oh, what a marvelously Original title.

If I was there, I could play the lead.

You know if you were In hollywood

They'd say you weren't Right for the part.

By the time I get rescued From this island

I'll be old enough to play My own grandmother.

[gilligan shouting indistinctly]

- what? - we've been saved.

At the lagoon, A telephone.

- a telephone! - at the lagoon.

How did you know? I ran all the way.

Women put things away, You can't find 'em.

With all her finery.

Boomerangs! You can't throw 'em away.

Oh, these little, Bloody birds--

(gilligan) 'mr. Howell, where are you?'

I'm at pebble beach Playing golf, you dunderhead..

- can't find you, mr. Howell. - I'm down here, gilligan.

Oh, there you are, mr. Howell. Say, listen, mr. Howell..

Yes, now, you know where I am?

What do you think I'm bending the elbow

With the maharajah of sarawana?

- what is sara-- - well, never mind that!

I can't find my silver lame Polo shirt, that's what.

Mr. Howell, I have Some real important--

Important? It's catastrophic! It's the only one of it's kind.

Yeah, but not that Important, mister--

If I don't find it, I'm gonna notify the fbi

Scotland yard, The new york stock exchange.

- new york stock exchange? - yes.

I notify them about everything.

- well, mr. How-- - mary ann! That's it!

- mary ann? - mary ann does the laundry.

Maybe she knows where it is.

Hope she isn't using A harsh detergent.

- oh, mr. Howell-- - don't stand there, boy.

I don't care until I find My treasured possession.

Speed! Speed, son.

(gilligan) 'mary ann! Hey, mary ann!'

Gilligan! Oh!

Gilligan, I just Washed those clothes.

Oh, they're all dirty.

Expect for mr. Howell's Polo shirt.

That's what I came for.

Oh! I almost forgot. There's a telephone.

- what telephone? - at the lagoon.

- at the lagoon? - yeah.

I gotta tell mr. Howell. Bye.

Telephone at the lagoon.

What will gilligan Think of next?

A telephone at the lagoon.

Ah, my boy, you shall Be rewarded handsomely.

No. I just wanna tell you Something important

Yes, well, alright, What is it?

Do you know there's A telephone down at the lagoon?

No, but could you hum it.

No, mr. Howell. A telephone at the lagoon.

Oh, oh, I know. Yes, yes, A telephone at the lagoon.

Why does everybody say "Oh! A telephone at the lagoon."

- mary ann, ginger-- - why didn't you tell me, boy?

I tried, but everybody--

If it's so important, Speak up.

- I tried-- - I've important calls. Learn.

- I tried, but-- - from now, speak up, you hear?

I tried.

But you always interrupt.

Professor, I say that We make a break in the line.

Then the phone company Will have to send a repair crew

And they'll have to find The break and we're saved.

But communications aren't That simple, skipper.

The company anticipates Breaks in the cable.

They automatically re-circuit Calls to bypass the breaks.

It might be a few months Before they send a repair crew.

But what else can we do?

By using parts from the radio, I can tap into the lines

And we'll be able To call for help.

Where's the phone? I have to call my agent.

[all clamoring]

Quiet! Quiet, everybody.

Only one knucklehead could've Gotten this thing so messed up.

Skipper, skipper, I told 'em the good news.

Well, this is the last blade.

Let's hope it cuts Through the metal casing.

- oh! - oh, no, another blade.

It hardly scratched the surface.

There's nothing on this island Hard enough to cut through it.

- there must be something. - oh, use your head, gilligan.

I don't think it's hard enough.

Diamonds are the hardest Known substance.

Perhaps the howells have A diamond I could use to cut.

Great idea, professor.

You're so smart, you make me Feel I got brains in my feet.

Gilligan, why don't You use your brains

And run over to the howells And get a diamond.

Yeah.

Need a diamond to cut the cable.

Mrs. Howell and I, I must say, Have quite an assortment.

Oh, yes. Five carats and up.

I'd rather have a diamond. A carrot's not hard enough.

Oh, gilligan, I didn't mean "Carrots."

- I meant "Carats." - never mind, lovely.

Let's just find a diamond For the professor.

Oh, thurston. Do you remember When you gave me this?

Let me see. Quite flawless, I believe.

Oh, yes, yes. That was, uh, december 14th.

- oh, was it your birthday? - 'no.'

- anniversary? - oh, no, no.

December 14th only comes Once a year

So we always celebrate it.

Paper hats, noise makers.

- september 26th. O-oh. - oh, that has a nice edge.

Maybe you could use That to cut the cable, hmm?

Yeah.

Oh, thurston, I have a marvelous idea.

My diamond necklace. That'll make a wonderful saw.

There you are, Gilligan, my boy.

Now you have more carrots Than bugs bunny.

Hi, gilligan. What have you got?

Oh, a diamond necklace.

- a diamond necklace? - yeah.

I gotta make a phone call.

- ginger, did you hear that? - no! I'm busy making notes.

I'm writing everything That's happened to us

Since we got here For the movie.

You know, The ginger grant story.

Oh, I'm just crazy About that title.

He said he had A diamond necklace.

Why would he need that To make a phone call?

I don't know.

I guess from here everything's A long distance call.

Do you remember when the raft Floated out with the provisions?

Wasn't it gilligan who forgot To tie the mooring line?

'yes.'

And when the ship sailed past, Was that april or may?

April.

You mean when we tried To attract the ship's attention

And couldn't find The one and only signal flare?

Yeah. And we found out That gilligan put the flare

On skipper's birthday cake.

I bet it's the only cake Up in orbit.

- nobody's perfect. - 'gilligan, we're ready.'

Let's see if these diamonds Will cut through the casing.

Alright, start pedaling.

Faster!

'faster!'

'faster, gilligan!'

Oh, no! You might as well stop.

I can't! I can't!

Sorry, must have forgotten..

...How to stop!

Sorry.

Oh, I guess it's Just not working.

I'm afraid without a motor We can't generate enough speed.

I don't understand.

Well, speed builds up friction. Friction causes heat.

And heat..

Heat. Fire. Maybe we can burn The casing off the cable.

The insulation inside Will protect the phone wires.

Boy, I don't know what we'd do Without your grey matter.

Who cares about his laundry? As long as he's smart.

How do you want your cable? Rare, medium or well done?

- what do you think, professor? - the fire isn't hot enough.

We must increase The intensity of the heat.

Yes. If only gilligan hadn't Thrown that blow torch over.

- oh, I forgot about that. - the blow torch!

- skipper, we can make one. - we can?

Certainly. The natural gas springs

On the other side of the island.

We can contain the gas In a water bottle.

It might work at that, Professor.

Come on, gilligan.

Hi, skipper.

Hi, ginger.

There's gotta be natural gas Around here somewhere.

Tell me something, skipper.

Who do you want to play you In the movie?

Rock hudson or cary grant?

Well, ginger, Maybe you better get 'em both.

Do you have Any other incidents for me?

The only thing I can recall Is gilligan's always goofing up.

Oh, hi, gilligan.

You're gonna be the star Of the ginger grant movie.

That's one movie I'm not gonna see.

Make sure you don't do Anything else silly around here.

Don't worry. I learned my lesson.

[hissing]

Gilligan, give me the bottle!

- oh, that should do it. - how do you know there's gas?

- oh, there's gas in there. - you can't see it.

But, gilligan, Gas is invisible.

- you don't see gas. - I better check to be sure.

Oh, gilligan, Don't do that!

[melodious music]

- skipper! - look out, ginger!

Oh, gilligan! What happened?

Oh, ginger. He didn't think There was any gas in it.

I told him there was, And he took the cork off..

... And took a big sniff.

[melodious music]

(ginger) 'oh, I hope it works.'

(thurston) 'my boy is a genius.'

Just a little bit more And that'll do it.

I don't know what We'd do without him.

- I know, he's a genius. - excuse me, ginger.

Now I've gotta scrape the wires, So we can make contact.

- oh, but be careful. - very careful, professor.

'don't short it out now.'

- watch out, professor. - 'he's simply marvelous.'

Hope these wires are intact.

I don't know what we'd do Without him.

I'm going to hire him For howell industries.

Be careful, professor.

Oh, this is so exciting, I'm getting warmer.

- 'watch your fingers.' - 'the wires are perfect.'

[all cheering] They're perfect.

Did you hear that, lovely? They're perfect.

I'm so excited, I'm sweating.

'don't short it.'

- it's gonna work. - it's gonna work.

We can telephone for help!

[all cheering]

- I smell something burning. - so do I.

I do too.

Gilligan!

[screaming]

'now, each one of these Telephone lines'

Is capable of transmitting 50 calls simultaneously.

Right now there are 2,000 calls Being carried through them.

Think of all the girls being Called for dates now.

- think of the wrong numbers. - think of all that income.

Let's see if we can tap in On one of those calls.

(professor) 'nothing.'

Nothing.

[man speaking portuguese]

- oh! It worked! - professor, you did it!

[man speaking portuguese]

- I can't understand a word. - he's speaking portuguese.

Oh, good! I haven't talked On a phone so long

I thought I forgot How to listen.

I hadn't realized That it might be difficult

To find a call With a language we understand.

I speak a little spanish.

Oh, I speak fluent French and italian.

I'm pretty good With few of the island dialects.

Of course, I speak latin.

That'll help if we happen To get a pharmacist.

- I can only speak english. - I know some slang.

I know the universal language, Money!

I suggest you all take turns Monitoring these calls

Until you find one with A language you can understand.

Meanwhile, I'll rig up a Microphone so they can hear us.

- hope this gets us rescued. - well, I do too, gilligan.

I can hardly wait to get To my favorite restaurant

And my favorite steak sandwich.

Your favorite steak sandwich?

Yes, a fillet Between two top sirloins.

Then order my favorite too. A chocolate-covered hamburger.

- ech! - strawberry?

(man #1 on speaker) 'aloha!'

He said, "Aloha" in hawaiian.

[man speaking hawaiian]

Just cased a honolulu bank. Round up the gang.

Okay, skipper.

Professor, mary ann, Mr. And mrs. Howell, ginger.

- gilligan, what're you doing? - rounding up the gang.

When'd you case The honolulu bank?

Not me! Him.

Now, quiet! They're gonna rob a bank.

[speaking hawaiian]

The guy's name is charlie.

The job's gonna be pulled off The 10th of next month.

- what's today? - today is the second.

Tomorrow would be the third. Never mind, gilligan.

Will you shut up now? They're trying to rob a bank.

[speaking hawaiian]

They're gonna use submachine Guns. We gotta stop 'em.

I'll stop 'em, skipper. I know how.

Now they can't talk To each other anymore.

Oh, gilligan, what's to prevent Them from talking on that wire?

- this? - would you stop that, gilligan!

You break another wire, And I'll break your neck.

You gotta use this To get off the island.

We do?

No luck so far, professor.

What are you doing?

Just finished boiling down Sap from a rubber tree.

- this is rubber? - yes.

I'm trying to build a recoil Mechanism for a dialing system.

Perhaps we can make contact With the united states.

Looks more like Tapioca pudding.

(skipper) 'gilligan, get your hand Out of there.'

I feel like ben casey.

You keep fooling around, You're gonna need ben casey.

(professor) 'here, skipper. Hold on to this.'

'I'm gonna use it To make a dial.'

Gilligan, what are you doing?

Making a glove For my other hand.

I've told you before, Keep your hand out of there.

'now turn it around, skipper.'

'let me get this wire Through here. That's it'

'that oughta do it.'

Now, gilligan, I want you To hold on to this bowl.

You better use both hands.

I can do with one.

Wait a minute, professor.

Gilligan, he asked you To use both hands.

I can handle with one, see?

Please! The professor's Trying to rescue us.

You keep fooling around. Now use both hands!

Gilligan, I am trying To get us off this island.

'will you please help?'

Well, we're about to start our Second hour of incomplete calls.

(man #2 on phone) 'hello.'

(female #1) 'where have you been? I've been callin' all evening.'

'I've been out on A business meeting, girl.'

Oh, I think we found one!

Hello. Hello?

(female #1) 'a business meeting? Who's that with you?'

'don't be ridiculous, cybill. There's no one with me.'

- hello? Can you hear me? - 'who was that? Your parakeet?'

Oh, please! Please help us.

'I don't know who that is, but I assure you I'm quite alone.'

'you must take me For a fool, larry.'

- 'cybill!' - hello, this is ginger.

'I don't know who you are, young Lady, but get off this line!'

Oh, don't you understand. We've been ship..

[phone clicks]

...Wrecked.

Oh, please, Somebody answer.

We've been dialing For over three hours.

Wait till we get Our phone bill.

Hope somebody's Home this time.

[phone ringing]

There's nobody home. Try another number.

Oh, wait. They might Come in any minute.

- oh, I think somebody answered. - yeah.

- hello. - hello, it's gilligan.

(mary ann) 'oh, hello?'

'hello? Why don't they answer?'

- hello? - are you sure they answered?

Well, the phone stopped ringing.

Oh! I think I hear Somebody breathing.

Sounds like He's gasping for breath.

Oh, poor man.

I sure wish I was There to help him.

Let's cross the yellow vine Over the green vine.

Right. The yellow Over the green.

Now, we know we picked up Hawaii on the green wire

And australia on the yellow.

And certainly peru came in very Clearly over the brown wire.

That's right. It should mean That the western hemisphere

Should come in over the brown, The yellow or the green wire.

Certainly the united states Should come in very clearly

On the red, white, and blue.

Skipper, telephone wires Just don't work that way.

Now, the key to the pattern Seems to be the red wire.

But the red wire must be A direct line to moscow!

Skipper, I said that telephone Wires don't work that way.

Alright, but I sure hope You know what you're doing.

We spent lot of man hours Putting this colored vines up.

That's the only way to solve Any problem. Logic.

Now, using the deductive Form of reasoning

The wires used frequently should Relate to the united states

Which has more Telephones per capita

Than any country in the world.

Now, the combination Of that color with other colors

Should indicate A progressive ratio scale

With the other countries Proportionate to the percentage

Of telephones located In those countries.

Truly very easy, isn't it?

Easy for you, Difficult for me.

Well, the important thing Is to keep these vines

From getting tangled While I figure out which color

Will guarantee us a telephone Call to the united states.

Professor! Professor!

Hey, professor!

Gilligan! Stop, gilligan!

For goodness' sake! We spend all this time--

You tore the vines! We're trying to call the states.

You'll never make it on a vine.

Why don't you use one of the Telephone lines at the lagoon?

(female #2 on phone) 'good afternoon. St. Louis bijou theatre.'

Today we're showing Carol summers and gregory bryant

In "Dracula goes surfing."

As a companion feature, we have "Frankenstein goes surfing."

That's a good double feature.

'the last complete show Starts at 8:20.'

'thank you for calling The bijou.'

You're welcome.

Wait! Hello? Hello?

What was that number?

This is the operator.

Will you kindly deposit ten Cents for three minutes, sir?

An operator! Got an operator!

'will you kindly Deposit ten cents, sir?'

Operator, where are you?

This is the san diego operator.

Will you kindly Deposit a dime, sir?

Don't go away, operator.

Hey, I got an operator In san diego!

'I'm sorry, sir. You'll have to Deposit another dime.'

- have you a dime? - no, no, I don't think so.

The least I have is a $20 bill. I could tuck it in.

I've got a quarter.

I'm sorry, sir. We cannot make change.

If you give me your name and Address, I'll send you 15 cents.

I don't know where we are.

'if you wish me to continue To keep this line open

You'll have to deposit The quarter.'

Hey, that's an operator. Don't lose her.

- 'did you deposit the quarter?' - there's no place to put it.

I'm sorry, I cannot Keep this line open.

Operator, wait, listen to me. We're shipwrecked, you see?

We found this telephone line And tapped into it.

'we're on a deserted island. There's no telephone booth!'

Why do I get all the nuts?

[all shouting]

Listen, listen. We reached her, And we'll reach somebody else.

I don't think we're gonna have More chances today, professor.

Look at that sky!

There's a bad storm Coming in.

We gotta get indoors!

Come on! Come on, gilligan.

The cable.

It's gone.

Skipper! Professor! The cable.

The cable. It's gone!

What could have Happened to the cable?

Well, the first storm drove it Into the lagoon

Last night's storm must have Pulled it out again.

- oh, what're we gonna do now? - there isn't much we can do.

But I tell you this much.

With the bare telephone lines Exposed to the salt water

It won't be long before They corrode and break.

We will be rescued. The phone Company will send a repair crew.

We'll be rescued In a few months!

- oh, no. - what's the matter?

When the storm started, I didn't Want the wires to get wet.

You didn't want The wires to get wet.

And what did you do, gilligan?

I wrapped then up nice and dry With the rubber professor made.

Wait, wait, skipper. Look at it this way.

I did lose the rescue

I gain a new chapter In the ginger grant story.

Now, skipper.

- well? - the cable isn't down there.

- it's gotta be. - I tell you it isn't.

That's the 62nd time I've been down there.

And what number Comes after 62?

Oh, no. Nothing's gonna make me Swim me around the bottom

Of the lagoon again. Nothing!

Sixty-three comin' up.

* now this is a tale Of our castaways *

* they're here For a long long time *

* they'll have to make The best of things *

* it's an uphill climb *

* the first mate And his skipper too *

* will do their very best *

* to make the others comfortable In the tropic island nest *

* no phone No light no motorcar *

* not a single luxury *

* like robinson crusoe *

* it's primitive as can be *

* so join us here each week My friends *

* you're sure to get a smile *

* from seven Stranded castaways *

* here on gilligan's isle **