Original subtitles

* Just sit right back and you'll hear a tale *

* A tale of a fateful trip *

* That started from this tropic port *

* Aboard this tiny ship *

* The mate was a mighty sailin' man *

* The Skipper brave and sure *

* Five passengers set sail that day *

* For a three hour tour A three hour tour *

* The weather started getting rough *

* The tiny ship was tossed *

* If not for the courage of the fearless crew *

* The Minnow would be lost *

* The Minnow would be lost *

* The ship set ground on the shore of this *

* Uncharted desert isle *

* With Gilligan *

* The Skipper too *

* The millionaire *

* And his wife *

* The movie star *

* And the rest are here on Gilligan's Isle **

I wonder who painted this.

Skipper. Professor. Mr. Howell.

Not guilty.

Thurston, it's certainly vaguely familiar.

How come nobody admits to painting it?

Skipper, Ginger, Professor, Mary Ann, they all deny it.

Can you blame them?

There's no doubt, but it's abstract.

- It's ridiculous. - It's scary.

Nincompoopers! It's upside down.

Now, look.

It's painting, not on me.

- Who are you? - I am Dubov.

What are you doing on this island?

First thing tell you to get off.

Thurston, it is impossible.

Well, it's incredible, but it is entirely possible.

Of course, it's possible.

Taking boat and Dubov waving goodbye.

No, no. You don't understand.

We're considering the possibility that you are

the Alexandri Gregor Dubov.

Is there another Alexandri Gregor Dubov

in whole world?

- Hardly. - Then I am me.

Now, Dubov turn around, count three, everybody gone.

[counting in Russian]

- Everybody still here. - Of course, we're still here.

Don't you see, we're shipwrecked on this island.

- We can't get off the island. - You can swim it.

- Five hundred miles? - Try backstroke.

Is very relaxing.

No, you don't understand. Eccentric yes, but not mad.

Long ago the art world decided Dubov was

shall we say, a little far out.

That's good way to say it.

You know Dubov. Dubov don't know you.

I am Thurston Howell III, world famous man of wealth

and this lovely creature beside me

is Mrs. Thurston Howell III

world famous patroness of the art.

- Who are you, skinny kiddo? - I'm Gilligan.

Then may be you can answer question.

What is that called?

Looks like hard boiled eggs.

Peasant! It is scrambled eggs.

Little girly.

Little girly, little girly!

My name is Mary Ann.

- Very beautiful name, Marushka. - Why don't you use it, please?

- You mad on Dubov? - Well, who isn't?

Everybody mad on Dubov?

You've been pushing everybody around. What do you expect?

They don't like it, why they don't go?

Mr. Dubov, there is no way off this island.

- Dubov have way. - You do? How?

Dubov don't talk on empty stomach.

Seconds, thirds and fourths coming right up.

- Now, Dubov is done. - Never seen anyone eat so much.

Was not even hungry.

Tell us how to get off this island.

We looked all over the island. We couldn't find a boat.

- Don't have boat. - Then you can't get off.

- Can get off. - How?

- By boat. - You don't have a boat.

Have transmitter, call boat.

You've got a transmitter?

- Don't I just said that? - Yeah, where is it?

- At cave. - Where's the cave?

- If I tell, you come? - Of course.

- You too? - Sure.

Then I don't tell.

Dubov, we've gotta be able to use your transmitter.

- To call boat? - Yes.

- No. - No?

Yes, no.

Ten years ago, Dubov don't like critics.

Dubov don't like people, Dubov don't like Dubov.

So come to island.

I think you're a real nice guy. Don't you Professor?

He's one of the most charming, likeable people I've ever met.

Where's the transmitter?

When Dubov is ready, Dubov call boat.

I should think after 10 years you'd be more than ready.

You know when is right time?

When Dubov look on painting and say

"Dubov, you are ready."

- Dubov, you are ready. - Dubov is ready...to take nap.

Hello and goodbye.

- Sure, don't be friendly. - If you wanna be friends, fine.

- Good. - Just don't order me around.

- You sure got nice place here. - Thanks.

- Is now Dubov's. - Is now what?

Going to take short nap for 10-12 hours.

Call me when it's time for breakfast.

- Listen, you, weasel, I-- - Hey, Skipper.

- Not now, Gilligan. I'm busy. - Please, Skipper.

Gilligan, it'll have to wait whatever it is

'cause I'm gonna throw this big ape out on his ear.

- Be nice to him. - Better listen to him, fatso.

- Fatso? - 'Skipper.'

Would you mind stepping outside for just a moment.

Alright, Professor, but you better be here

when I get back, Dubov.

Don't worry. Dubov gonna be here when you don't come back.

- Oop! - Watch your head, roly-poly.

- What is it, Professor? - Skipper, Skipper.

We've got to be nice to him.

Give me one good reason.

He's got a transmitter.

- Well, that's a good reason. - Yeah.

Control yourself. Control yourself.

I'm smiling. Look. I'm smiling.

Are you sleeping?

Of course, I'm sleeping, Mr. Howell.

Who could stay awake on this nice hard ground?

But he's sleeping.

Hand me all your.. shiver your timbers!

Anytime you're through, Captain Bligh.

I must have been dreaming. Is it morning?

No, it's the middle of the night

but the sun is about to shine on us

thanks to my sneaksmanship.

I don't get it.

I think Mr. Howell means that he's got an underhanded plot

to get that transmitter away from Dubov.

Yes, and the beauty of this plan is its simplicity.

The more simple the thing is, the more beautiful it is.

- I must be gorgeous. - Never mind him, Mr. Howell.

First of all, we've got to get Dubov to paint a new painting.

What good will that do?

I must admit Mr. Howell, it's a very good question.

- Thanks, shall I ask again? - No, you don't have to.

Because I'll give you the answer.

When he finishes the painting, we'll rave about it

we'll fight over it, we'll bid millions for it.

And he'll think that he is the greatest artist

in the whole world.

I get it, that way he'll wanna be rescued.

And he'll be convinced that the world is ready for Dubov again.

Can he paint my picture?

No, the world isn't quite that ready.

Well, Mrs. Howell too, she says Dubov never never paints people.

- A-ha, but he'll paint Ginger. - Yeah. No, she's people.

He'll paint Ginger, believe me, according to the Howell plan.

You wanna go to sleep? Just take that, that's it.

- Nighty night. - Goodnight.

- You sure Picasso paint you? - He pestered me for months.

Chagall painted you?

How could I say no to that darling little man?

Okay, girly, you don't be painted till Dubov paints you.

Sorry, not interested.

Do you hear what she said? She's not interested.

- That's what she said. - Why you don't be interested?

Because, Mr. Dubov, I'm a movie star

and I have to be careful about my image.

Dubov will make you even more famous than-than-than Mae Busch.

- Who? - Mae Busch. Krasavitsa.

There is a hot potato.

Besides, I promised Salvador Dali

that he could be next

and everybody says that he's the most.

You know what I say about Salvador Dali, I say phooey.

Well, I'll be sure to tell him.

Okay, girly, if you don't pose for Dubov

Dubov gets mad and when Dubov gets mad

he don't eat, he don't sleep he sometimes even kills himself!

I wouldn't want you to do that.

Good. On your feet.

Now, we must think of pose for girly to paint.

Well, the photographers say I look my best like this.

No good. No good.

Let me think. Idea's coming.

Idea is coming. Idea is coming.

Idea is here. Belly dancer.

- Belly dancer? - Da!

Well, I don't care if you're Leonardo da Vinci.

I'm not posing as a belly dancer.

What's wrong with belly dancer?

I happen to be an actress, not a stripper!

Who said stripper? Belly dancer.

Ginger, he means Bali. Bali dancers.

The island of Bali.

Well, why didn't he say so?

Like I say, belly dancer.

[singing in Russian]

* We'll do it all over again **

Don't peek.

I merely wanted to know how it was getting along?

If you want to know how it's getting along, ask Dubov.

- How is it getting along? - I don't tell you.

Oh, poo!

[singing in Russian]

- Hi, Gilligan. - Hi. What's this stuff?

It's pretty good.

Gilligan, that's paint thinner.

* Lada da da gee ra la ra rum *

Hey!

- Dubov takes nap. - Can I rest too?

I don't care what you do. Picture is finished.

Help, help, somebody unbend me.

(Mary Ann) I think he's through.

[indistinct chatter]

I've never seen anything like that in my life.

I'll kill him. Just give me two minutes and I'll kill him.

A week and a half I posed for tha-that thing.

- Out of my way, Mr. Howell. - You got to remember our plan.

I'll kill him first, and then I'll remember your plan.

We've got to convince him that painting is absolutely great.

That will take an academy award performance.

Listen, all of you, remember to play the parts.

I think it's absolutely divine, perfectly fascinating.

I've never seen anything like it and that's the truth.

What superb artistry!

Why that painting must be worth a fortune.

- I bid $100,000. - I bid $200,000.

I wouldn't sell it for $300,000, I'd burn it first.

Let's hear it for the artist. Hip, hip.

(all) Hurray!

- Hip, hip. - Hurray!

[all cheering]

Dubov take bow, sign autographs later.

Maybe I'll let ladies kiss hand of genius

then send for boat and let world see painting.

Mr. Howell, you were right.

Your underhanded plan worked just great.

You mind repeating that, skinny kiddo?

Sure, Mr. Howell's underhanded plan worked just great.

Oh-ho! A plan.

Dubov have a plan too.

Send you the bill.

Dubov say pooh on you people.

- Pooh on you people. - I know, I know, I know.

- Pooh on you Gilligan. - Say that again.

- Pooh on you-- - Get out you!

- Morning, Mr. Howell. - Ah, good morning, Gilligan.

Look what I found in the jungle. The picture Dubov did of Ginger.

What a way to start the day.

Yeah. Hey, Mr. Howell, I'm sorry I ruined your underhanded plan.

Oh, that's alright, Gilligan, my boy.

You're a real nice guy, forgiving and forgetting.

That's the motto of the Howell Mortgage Company.

If you can't forgive or forget, foreclose.

We made a lot of money.

Mr. Howell, is this really supposed to be Ginger?

Now what you see is, this is the Ginger that we don't see.

It's the turmoil, the seething passion.

Sort of thing like that.

What he has painted here is what we might say the inner woman.

Oh, yeah. I kinda see her lungs and appendix now.

I can see that you're not a devotee of modern art.

When I was in third grade

I painted like that and they flunked me in art.

It's hardly the same thing.

You see what Dubov has painted here

is a great color composition, his great freedom of expression.

He actually soared.

What he has is the ability to remain unencumbered.

- What? - Unencumbered.

- Don't you paint unencumbered? - Sure, I can draw radishes too.

Naughty, that's naughty..

You say that you flunked art in the third grade?

- Twice. - Help me to lose no track.

- It might work! - What?

You stay here and I'll enlist the aid of the others.

Don't go away, Gilligan, my boy.

Girls, it is I, Thurston Howell III.

- 'Come in.' - Come in. You heard that.

I don't know. I-I guess it's possible.

Keep calm, my boy. Chicanery is afoot.

- Who? - Ho-ho!

What? Are you out of your cotton-picking mind, Howell?

Alright, alright. The Navy..

Probably believes in flogging in the sails.

That man is a hard sell, a hard sell.

I'll do whatever I can.

Just show me a loophole, Professor, show me a loophole.

I do admit that setting Gilligan up

as a rival genius would upset him

and could probably lead him in our direction.

Did I hear you say Gilligan as a rival genius?

That's right. Gilligan, you're gonna do an abstract painting.

- I am? - And Dubov will scoff at it.

He's pretty good at scoffing.

We'll admire it and hail it as an artistic triumph.

Mr. Howell, I think Dubov will think you're crazy.

On the contrary, Gilligan, if he follows his pattern and he will

his next move will be to get the art critics of the world

to decide which of you is the master painter?

How're you gonna get the art critics here on the island?

Well, he can't. So he'll use his transmitter to send a message.

A boat will come, and presto, we are off the island.

- You forgot one thing. - What's that?

What if he doesn't get back?

- He shall return. - He's a very stubborn man.

He just might..

[sniffing] He's so..

[sniffing]

Hmm, that sure isn't paint thinner.

It's turtle soup laced with clam sauce and shrimp.

Smells great. Can I help you fan it?

Oh, I'm not trying to cool it off.

- It sure looks that way. - I'm just creating a breeze.

Why?

Because we don't have a telephone.

- Because we don't have a what? - Gilligan, stand back, please.

I can't get my message through.

I-I've heard sending messages by drums and flags

but never by waving soup.

Ah-ha! My message has been received and answered.

- Hi, little buddy. - Hi, Skipper.

- And how's it going? - Okay, I guess.

- You haven't even started yet. - I know.

Well, why not?

I just can't seem to get in the mood.

Oh, Gilligan, you don't have to get in the mood.

Just put something on the canvas and we'll do the rest.

It's not that easy.

How did your third grade teacher get you in the mood?

She used to sing to me. Do you know

* Jack and Jill went up the hill **

I know Jack and Jill, Gilligan, for goodness sake

will you paint, so we can get that transmitter?

- What should I put on there? - Well, a leaf, a tree, a bush.

Anything. What difference does it make?

Maybe makes no difference to you sailors, but to us artists..

Gilligan!

- I know, I'll paint you. - Me? Of all the crazy ideas.

It's very hard to get in the mood.

- Okay, I'll pose. You win. - Pose like Ginger.

That's silly.

Very, very hard to get in the mood.

Pose like Ginger.

Well, you know what I feel like?

Do you know what you look like?

Gilligan, never mind, just paint.

No. You're not the dancer type. You're more like a sailor.

Do the sailor pose, Skipper, like this.

Yeah, now lift the other foot.

If I lift the other foot, I'll fall on the ground.

You never know, Skipper. Why don't you just try? Just lift--

Gilligan, would you get behind that easel and paint?

- I'll paint you from memory. - Yes, from memory.

Yes, Gilligan. It's me and it's very funny.

Here, Skipper, let me take it off.

Gilligan, will you stop that?

Here, Skipper, I'll be done in a minute.

It's all done.

- That's me? - Yeah.

- Are you sure? - Uh-huh.

Nincompooper, it's upside down.

Oh, you old scoundrel, I know what you're up to

but you're not gonna get away with it.

Get away with what, Mr. Man of Wealth? Phooey!

Selling your second-grade paintings

and holding out on your masterpiece.

- Dubov do that? - That's exactly what you did.

Alright, alright. Tell me, how much is it worth?

Somebody fall in a bucket of paint and wipe face with canvas.

Very funny, just name your price.

You really wanna know what this worth?

Phooey.

Thurston, where ever did you find that divine painting?

Well, never mind where I found it.

This old scoundrel refuses to part with it.

Oh, but he must, our entire collection of Dubovs

would be worthless without it.

- Hi, Mr. Howell. - Quiet, Gilligan.

Can't you see I'm busy dickering with a genius?

Then, I guess you're done looking at my picture.

Yes, I guess.. Wait a minute.

Did you hear that, Lovey?

You mean, our Gilligan painted that masterpiece? Unbelievable.

He must have.. Gilligan, hold it.

- I bid $100,000. - I bid 200,000.

Hey, fatso, Dubov wanna talk on you.

Oh, I didn't see you sitting there, Dubov.

You saw a painting of skinny kiddo?

- See it? I posed for it. - You posed for that picture?

Certainly, that was the real me.

The man of the seas, sailing into the wind

with my bare hands fighting the ocean.

Dubov wanna tell you something. I saw the picture.

You lost fight.

Okay, it's ready. Everybody come out.

Everybody come out!

Would you mind holding it down, I'm trying to get some shuteye.

- It's no time for nap, come. - Yes, well, well.

Alright, alright, alright.

Take a look.

- Dubov, you've done it again. - Naturally.

- Painted exactly what I wanted. - Alright, how you going to pay?

By cash or by check?

How much do you want for this one?

For sign?

Well, you see, I've got to unload my Dubovs.

With Gilligan on the island, they are absolutely worthless.

Take paintings, take sign, Dubov takes..

Gillian, I don't look on you.

- Hi, Mr. Howell. Hi, Mr. Dubov. - Hello, maestro.

Mr. Dubov, Gilligan's going to paint my picture.

Dubov don't look on you too, little girly.

Remember, Gilligan, I'm posing for you tomorrow.

- I remember. - Phooey on you too, rich lady.

You know, Mr. Dubov, some of these paintings are pretty good.

Pretty good?

It's good thing I don't talk on you 'cause I talk to you.

If I don't talk to you, I gonna bang you on your head.

We shouldn't let him go away mad.

Well, don't worry. He'll return and with the transmitter.

I'll go tell Professor and Ginger it worked.

I'll go with you.

Mr. Howell, how much will you give for this one here?

- Oh, well, what is it? - Self-portrait.

- You know something? - What?

Looks more like Dubov. Phooey.

Sshh.

Outside.

What's the matter?

If you give Dubov painting lessons

Dubov give you transmitter.

- Say it again. - Kid, your ears got accent?

- When will you bring it? - In morning.

Okay. You bring the transmitter, I'll give you painting lesson.

- Master, you are too kind. - That's me, Gilligan.

Boy, good guy.

- Dubov is your slave. - Yeah.

- Dubov is your slave. - Yeah.

That transmitter is the most beautiful sight in the world.

Alright, Skipper, send the message.

Mayday, mayday. This is the Skipper of the SS Minnow.

This is the Skipper of the SS Minnow. I repeat.

Can you hear me? This is the Skipper of the SS Minnow.

- Skipper. - Quiet, Professor.

I'm trying to transmit.

Skipper, we're the only ones tuned in, you see.

I must have pulled that out when I started transmitting.

I'll fix that in a jiffy.

Oh, no. It's-it's rusted, it's corroded clear through.

Dubov must have had this on the island for years.

There's a note in here. It's from Dubov.

[imitating Dobov] "Dear people, on who I make phooey.

"Island don't be big enough for two geniuses.

"So I builded raft from paintings

"and flow to other island.

When Dubov ready, Dubov come back."

Well, at least, he left us the transmitter.

- Yeah, but look at it. - Oh, no, no. It's gotta work.

It's gotta work. Mayday, mayday!

June-day, July-day..

Look at that, Howell.

I wanna tell you it does prove that talent shows up

in the most unlikely places.

Talent is an inner fire of flame

that can burst in any direction.

Exactly. Look at the way he's holding that brush.

Bold attack, daring strokes.

And to think it's my little buddy doing it.

That talk doesn't bother you, does it, Gilligan?

- 'No, Mr. Howell.' - Alright.

Don't stop. Just keep going.

Keep at it, my boy.

- Okay, but I have one question. - What is it?

How many times I've to paint the hut?

Keep going, Gilligan, until we tell you to stop.

* Now this is the tale of the castaways *

* They're here for a long, long time *

* They'll have to make the best of things *

* It's an uphill climb *

* The first mate and his skipper too *

* Will do their very best *

* To make the others comfortable *

* In their tropic island nest *

* No phone, no lights, no motorcars *

* Not a single luxury *

* Like Robinson Crusoe *

* It's primitive as can be *

* So join us here each week my friends *

* You're sure to get a smile *

* From seven stranded castaways *

* Here on Gilligan's isle **