Original subtitles

I don't get it. Every morning he gets to school late.

And stop that siren or I'll be the laughing stock of Naples!

Flatfoot, it's his fault.

If I don't wake him up in the morning, he doesn't call me.

Look at this third world snitch!

Caputo, he's right. The deal was clear!

The child lives with me and you take him to school!

Well, sorry but the deal is off because this one will give me a heart attack.

Ok, OK, no need to fight.

The school is coming up, isn't it?

Did you do your homework?

No. Listen, I'm not going to school anymore.

When I grow up, I'll be a cop like you.

You go to school until I say so! Is that clear?

You can't be a cop, with that face you'd be immediately recognized!

Flatfoot, can I stay with you today?

Not today, tomorrow we'll see.

Tarallucci biscuits! Buy tarallucci!

You're always the last one! Come on, walk!

Good morning, Mrs. Maria.

Hi, handsome!

Popcorn! Buy tarallucci!

Bodo, the school is there.

Yes, but I forgot something.

What's that?

To give you a kiss.

Yes, I'll give you a kiss. Go on!

Buy biscuits!

Popcorn! Biscuits!

I have everything, check it out. Biscuits, popcorn...

You wanna be an informer but you didn't see Bodo?

Didn't see him, he's black.

Didn't see a black kid with red hat?

Didn't see him.

- Give me a carton of cigarettes. - Don’t have cigarettes.

"Don't have cigarettes." Take them out.

- But you don't smoke. - Don't worry about it.

- Want the change? - Keep it.

Thank you! Our Lady blesses you.

Tarallucci!

Popcorn! American peanuts!

I have important information for your boss.

We don't accept anonymous information.

I am Omar El-Hakim and someone is holding captive a girl.

My boss doesn't deal with kidnappings. He is in the narcotic squad.

It's also about drugs. Just tell him this name: Carolina.

You've done a good job, Ruotolo. I am grateful to you.

At your service, Don Carmine. Just ask, I'm always here.

There you go, all done!

- You're an artist. - Not to brag...

Oh, dear Commissioner!

What a surprise to see you here tonight!

I renewed my license this morning with Commissioner Gargiulo, huh?

Dear Ruotolo, I wasn't even thinking about it.

You've always been a model citizen.

I came here because I need a favor.

Always at your disposal, however and whenever you need me.

Ruotolo, do you make fireworks?

What do you mean, Chief? That's all I do! Fireworks.

Well, that's what I want.

And that's what you'll have.

It's Police Day next week.

I thought of having a beautiful firework show with all the colors!

What do you think?

Are you clients of our friend Ruotolo?

These are American clients. I'm also known in Brooklyn.

And they came all this way to buy fireworks?

Yes, they did.

Big ones, too...

I wonder what kind of a bang they make.

A little muffled, the humidity, of course...

- Chief, don't touch them! - What's wrong? Why not?

They're dangerous, they explode.

You thought I came to buy lollipops? I need explosives!

Sure... What you doing, Chief?

Forgive me, but don't you make firecrackers with black powder?

- This is white powder. - Yes, it's a new homemade product.

A new homemade product?

Jesus!

What is this stuff?

- Is it good? - Pure heroin.

With this, you can blow up all of...

New York!

Gennarino, come out.

I don't know anything, word of honor!

Do you know who brought this stuff?

- The Swede sent it. - Who is the Swede?

I don't know, but Don Ruotolo said, "The Swede does things in a big way."

Alright, get out.

- Get over here. Torre Anfosa. - What number?

No number! When you see the Piedigrotta fireworks, it's there!

And bring 4 fire trucks.

- Any other news? - Nothing.

Oh, wait, an Arab stopped me.

One of those you see around Naples, a certain Omar.

Who is this Omar?

He mentioned a missing girl. Gave me a name and ran off.

- What name? - The name... wait...

Carmelina? No.

I don't remember... Oh, it's Carolina! Yes, Carolina.

- They don't know anything? - No.

Don Salvatore, did he come up with this just to make her talk?

- I don't like this story. - The less you know the better.

The Swede comes tonight, pays you, you leave and the deal is done.

You stay here, you come with me.

- Who is this girl? - What do you care?

She didn't see your face.

Remember, when you work with Salvatore Coppolo, nothing happens!

It's Flatfoot!

It's a mountain! Run away!

From the other side, move it!

Climb up! Quickly!

- Don't move! - Stop with that thing! Don't shoot!

Shall we have a little chat?

Oh, it's you!

Open up!

Let me out!

Can you hear me?

- Open up, get her out. - Open up!

- Help! - I'm coming, just a moment!

Here I am!

Brigadier Caputo, at your orders.

- Everything OK? - Yes, thank you. - Tell me the name.

- Coppolo Salvatore. - Trying to be funny?

I want the name of the man who told you to kidnap her.

Do your feet hurt?

- You don't know him? - Chief, not the foot!

She is the niece of a big American oilman, Mr. Burns.

Doesn't ring a bell?

Three knuckleheads.

None of you could've pulled this off without orders.

- Who are they? Why did they take me? - We'll find out now.

They act like this, but then they talk.

So?

Look at me when I talk!

- So? - The Swede.

The Swede, huh?

What does he look like? Blond? Brown...?

I don't know him, Mr. Commissioner. I've never seen him.

All I know is that they call him the Swede.

- Caputo? - At your orders!

Call the station, have them clean the ship, it's full of drugs.

Right away. Excuse me if I may.

Hello, Dallas? I'd like to speak to Mr. Morgan.

Then have him call me back at Hotel Excelsior in Naples.

Thank you.

Mr. Rizzo, those who know me know that I'm not sentimental.

Please, have a seat. Would you like a drink?

I don't drink when I'm on duty.

You see...

ever since her parents died in a plane crash in Dallas,

Connie became like a daughter to me. You saved her, and I won't forget that.

But I don't understand why they took her. They didn't ask for a ransom.

They didn't have the time.

Or maybe they just wanted information,

from Connie or from you.

Mr. Rizzo, I'd like to make you a proposal.

Resign from the police, and come and work for me.

We'd like you to be in charge of the security of the Burns Oil Company.

In my line of work, it's very tough.

There are no friends, only enemies.

- Connie! Everything fine? - Just fine.

You don't know how much fun it was seeing Commissioner Rizzo in action.

Thanks again.

Professor Cerullo is waiting for us.

I've always tried to stay away from mythomaniacs and maniacs.

He's a scientist, and he was very kind during our stay in Egypt.

Yeah, that's why he's been stalking me ever since.

He writes me letters and reports to convince me

that he's made a discovery that will revolutionize the oil market.

Even Omar is convinced that it's a sensational discovery.

Omar you said? Omar who?

Omar El-Hakim, our guide in Egypt.

Listen, why don't you go see the professor, so you can better judge his proposals.

I'd like to meet a scientist.

I've never seen one. Few are enlisted in the police force.

OK, let's go see this universal genius.

Coleopterus biforcutus... No, the scorpio desertoro!

Connie wasn't kidding on the phone, she convinced her uncle!

Today is a triumphant day for science and for me.

Burns will see that my discovery is worth the Bank of England!

The secret is here, in one of the 300,000 species of beetles.

You have to believe me, Omar.

- I believe you, professor. - So? Why that face?

Someday, in science textbooks it will be written

"Omar El-Hakim, translator and Egyptian friend of the great Cerullo."

My secret is safe here, in my head.

If it pleases God.

It's him, it's Mr. Burns!

Hello, you bastard!

Your task was to keep an eye on the professor,

but you wanted to be a hero and save that girl.

You made a big mistake, my friend.

May I come in?

May I?

What happened here?

Don't light the cigar, someone left the gas on.

Mr. Rizzo, I don't like this story.

I really don't like it!

First they kidnap my niece and now there's a dead body.

And this professor who doesn't exist!

He exists, we'll find him.

Listen, I'm offering you $5,000 a month to work for me.

Do you accept?

I have a bit of work to do, Mr. Burns.

If you change your mind, you can join me in Egypt.

I'm going there for business.

- I will leave Naples tomorrow. - Goodbye.

Homicide Squad.

You would've had things to tell, maybe even where they took the professor.

Uncle, how can we leave not knowing who killed Omar

and the professor's whereabouts.

We've told the police everything. It's up to them to solve it.

Did he really offer you $5,000 a month?

Damn! You're better than Tigher Man, the private eye.

- Tiger Man. - Who is it?

- Tiger Man. - "Tiger Man"? Same thing...

- All fixed. - Has the luggage been loaded?

- Yes. - Okay, we're leaving.

This is the good life, not ours.

Sex, women, whiskey, like Marlove.

Marlow.

Marlow, the blond private detective, the American.

- Did you say blond? - Yes, why, what did I say?

Like that one.

I'm on to you, Swede. You're wanted in 50 countries, but I'll find you.

- I have to take your fingerprints! - No! What are you doing?

That's for criminals, not me!

You don't do it to me! Look at him go!

You are a criminal and you have the face of a thief.

If someone comes by, what will they think?

- Someone is here! - I knew it! Good morning, sir.

Emposimato!

Take this stuff to the archives.

- You had quite an idea. - Me? Really?

A good idea. Every once in a while...

Sorry, I don't do that anymore.

- Let's start a business. - What?

The private eye, you always wanted to do that.

Finally! I've always dreamed of being one!

- Tell Burns I'm going to Cairo. - You're going?

You're coming with me. $5,000 is enough for both of us.

With money you do everything, you discover everything!

Are you really leaving?

Come here, Bodo.

Tell you what, young man. Do you really wanna be a cop?

Yeah, sure. Like you.

Yes, you can take after your father.

You know that to be a cop, you must know how to obey.

To lead, one must know how to obey.

Know what we'll do? I'll leave you with Mrs. Capocci.

What, I didn't ask you to take medicine.

She loves you very much, you're going to stay with her.

And do me a favor, go to school every day.

And don't do like last time.

- Understood?

Now go down, Caputo will take you home.

Tigher Man, this one is strong!

He's tough, elusive.

He's the king of disguise.

Caputo, let's go, come on!

- What are you wearing? - I'm dressed as a private eye.

- Camouflaged? - Should I have worn my uniform?

Passengers for flight AZ341 to Cairo

please go to gate number 7. Thank you.

- Mr. Mingu? How many children? - There are five.

Please, follow me.

They're good.

- Caputo! - Chief?

Are you afraid of flying?

No, what fear? But the strangest things happen here.

- Meatballs disappear from plates. - It happens.

It's not supposed to happen!

They disappear and you do nothing?

What should I do? I'm reading. Anyway, sit down.

Sit down? Should I be your guardian?

I'll sit here.

By the way...

When you took Bodo to Mrs. Capocci, did you tell her to keep him on a leash?

On a leash? Is he a beast?

- The beast is you! - Why?

- Know where he is? - In Naples.

- Under you! - Where?

Under me?

- This delinquent... come here! - A stowaway on board.

This is impossible!

See who was eating the meatballs? Huh, Bodo? Bravo!

Flatfoot, I wanted to obey you,

but then I reconsidered, I don't trust you.

What are you saying?

What did you think? I send you to Egypt alone with Caputo?

What am I, stupid?

Jesus, look how this kid makes fools of us.

Get up! How do you even dare to speak? Be quiet!

Caputo, do me a favor.

Once we land, go to the police and send him back immediately.

Yes, sir.

At you orders, Chief.

Stay close to me, don't move anymore.

You must stay here, don't move!

Be still!

I have always dreamed of traveling incognito.

- We're not so incognito. - No?

Take care of Bodo like I told you.

See you at this hotel, here's the address.

I won't contact Mr. Burns until you arrive.

Don't worry, Chief. What will you do now?

I have to go to the Aeroclub.

Yes, sir.

- Caputo, the Nile! - Yes.

Come here, Bodo! Wait, don't run!

Come here, don't run!

You're gonna get me in trouble, don't you get it?

I'm finally back in Africa!

What, you like it more than Naples?

Caputo, Africa is something else!

I'll give you Africa! Give me your hand before you run away again.

Dear colleague! Brigadier Caputo, Naples Police.

The boy must return to Naples by plane.

No, he has to leave, he shouldn't have come here.

The child must leave, don't you get it?

Oh, fuck off!

They don't understand anything!

Let's go.

Crazy shit.

Well done, Swede! You call yourself Jack Connors.

- Stop! - Yes, stop...

This is a serious matter!

- Cab! - Caputo!

Speak Arabic!

Speak Arabic!

What are you saying?

They don't understand me in Arabic!

What should I do, I didn't study Arabic!

How will we get to the hotel?

Here we go.

You can't go in with the donkey.

Then how? I have cargo, the child...

Tell him.

We carry valuables.

My friend!

I never thought I'd see you again so soon.

Hello.

So you've changed your mind.

That's right, I'll work for you.

That's great!

Connie, Mr. Rizzo will be working exclusively for us.

- Wonderful! - Zakar, look who's here.

Mister Rizzo is the Italian who freed Connie.

Elver Zakar, a close friend.

Welcome to Cairo.

Thank you very much.

Without him, my oil company would have a hard time in the Middle East.

Don't exaggerate, Edward.

I'll be your guide in Cairo.

- Uncle, I'm going to rest. - Alright, see you later.

- Goodbye. - Sit down.

You've come at the right time.

That's right. Jack Connors, the pilot of my plane,

who had been with me for only a couple of months

suddenly disappeared.

- The whole plane disappeared. - What do you mean?

There was a bomb, I took it out.

- Are you serious? - It was a way of welcoming me.

Here we go.

Let's see...

Three and two, five and one, six! What a beautiful hand!

- Scopa! - Dammit!

You've got a shit ton of luck. And to think that I taught you.

Bloody hell!

King!

Scopa! I win!

- How much did you win? - We'll see in a bit.

2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64, 128...

That's $1,024.

How much?!

Try to keep up!

I won 10 games at $2 per game and playing doubles makes $1,024!

Bravo! You don't want to go to school

but when it comes to cards, your brain turns into a computer!

Get down! Down!

Haven't you had enough standing like that?

I'm alert, what should I do?

Hey, Flatfoot!

He's still here? Caputo, orders are orders!

I know, but they speak only Arabic, who understands them?

Here's $5,000. Burns gave it to me as an advance.

- You can pay me now! - We'll talk about it later.

"Super Strong" goes into action. What do we do?

- You ate it all! - Me? It was the child.

It was the child, always him!

If he ate everything you say, he'd be as big as me.

First, you don't use the gun.

Second, you don't touch a dollar.

Third, go to Burns' room and do two things.

- Why? - You wanna play the game of 'Why'?

Why would a professor who studies cockroaches

and wants to talk to an oil billionaire suddenly disappear?

The niece says that he wrote to the billionaire many times.

Go to his room and bring me these letters.

We're Burns' private eyes and you're asking me to steal from his room?

You have to do what I say, please. Just go.

Hey, didn't she say she was tired and wanted to sleep?

I've got some riddles of my own to solve.

Who are you?

Kebir!

He's Commissioner Rizzo, he works for my uncle.

Don't worry, Mr. Rizzo.

This is Lieutenant Kebir, my friend.

I wanted to surprise you.

We have to meet secretly, my uncle is against our friendship.

Because I don't have oil wells or personal jets.

So the family doesn't accept me.

Let's go!

What happened?

Who shot?

- Stop! What are you doing? - I'm watching your back.

- Go away! - Never mind.

Asshole!

These are Cerullo's letters?

"Coriolano Cerullo." His name is Coriolano!

"My discovery, as I checked in Malaysia and Venezuela..."

The professor likes to travel! "Once verified in Egypt,"

"it will be a colossal hit for science and oil business."

The statue of Ramesses stood 50 feet before it lost its legs.

The name of the great pharaoh is carved on his right shoulder.

At Abu Simbel you will visit temples of Ramesses and his wife Nefertari.

Now, gentlemen, I will show you some precious hieroglyphics.

If you want, you can take photos, but don't use flash.

Excuse me, I read that I'd find here something similar to this.

That's right. Will you follow me? Excuse me.

There, you see?

I have a question.

What do these symbols mean?

Do they belong to a sect?

No sir, these represent the leaders of some nomadic tribes

who live in the Mayed Desert.

Mr. Rizzo.

Mr. Rizzo!

I'm very pleased to see you again.

Don't be surprised.

You know...

Oil.

Public relations.

I am working for our friend Burns.

What are you doing here?

I usually start my investigations from far away.

You must be joking.

I understand starting from afar, but starting with the pharaohs?

Do you have time to waste or does Ramesses II fascinate you?

It's not often that you meet someone bigger than you, is it?

For the first time in my life, I feel small.

It's like Naples here.

Times ten, but it's just like Naples.

I know the famous saying too.

"Naples is the only eastern city without a European quarter."

It's a magnificent city, but also difficult to understand.

I think so too.

There are people of all races here. For example, I'm Turkish.

Yes.

In my family tree, one always stumbles upon a vizier or a governor.

A large family!

However, those days are gone.

Without going too far back, my grandparents owned half of Egypt.

Who are those with the brown gown and the red turban?

They are the faithful of Eclass. It's a cult that dresses like that.

In Cairo, today is their holiday.

They celebrate the meeting of Adam and Eve in Eden.

If you happen to visit the Saladin Mosque,

you'll see that there are many followers of that sect.

Sir, the shoes.

Sir!

Sir!

Sir!

Sir, I'm here!

Welcome to my workshop, I am Magueré.

Interested in carpets? Chinese, Persian, Turkistan and Samarkand.

Of any kind.

No, I just want a carpet to beat.

Alright, sir. We have shiraz, bukara,

Indian-made, you'll find them in all colors.

- What color are you looking for? - Brown below, and red on top.

"Brown below, and red on top." You're playing with me, sir.

- No, I wouldn't do that. - Thank goodness.

As you can see, sir, being big is only a relative advantage.

Who is it?

What are you doing here? What happened?

Look at this!

Come on, get up.

Tell me, tell me.

Come on, talk!

Oh, yeah!

How do I talk with my mouth taped?

In the carpet with a raincoat! Is it raining?

No Chief, but could you eat less?

How was I to know you're under me?

- I had two tons sitting on me! - These damn knots!

I found the professor's letters, but they hit me over the head

- and I couldn't understand anything! - As if you ever do!

I understood something, then nothing at all, total darkness.

Oh God! Who is that? Is he dead?

No, he's playing dead to avoid going to war.

Oh, he does it on purpose!

- You're leaving me alone? - Free yourself.

There you go!

Let's recap.

I arrive and you try to blow me up with the plane.

Then you try to take a photo of me using a gun.

I'm having a chat with friends and what do you do?

You put snakes in my shoes!

Come here.

I have some questions, and you better give me straight answers,

or I'll make you flat as a carpet.

Come here!

Scumbag!

So, the Swede took an old man prisoner, right?

- Yes, sir. - Where is he now?

In Mayed, in the desert of the Tibu, where the nomadic warriors live.

I've never been there.

No one has ever returned alive from the land of the Tibu.

Mayed you say? Must a nice place, I wanna go there.

Who does the Swede take his orders from?

You don't talk, huh? He's a killer, must take orders from somebody.

Are you gonna talk or not? Talk!

I don't know who gives the orders, only the Swede knows.

- What are you doing? Move it! - Right away!

Aspis venom...

It's death.

Allah gives life, Allah takes it away. Allah protects you.

Don't go back to your hotel or you'll be dead before dawn!

I talked to Allah, he said it's not time yet.

Why are you saving my life? I tried to kill you, sir.

Why are you so generous?

- How are things going in Mayed? - As it suits Allah.

- Are you OK, stranger? - I'll be much better when it's all over.

I saw that the rifles I sent you have arrived.

I'll send you two hundred more soon.

They serve to defend the freedom of the Tibu and the lands of the Mayed.

We have no masters.

I agreed to work for you because Hassan has only one word,

but once the deal is done,

stay away from our lands.

And the professor?

The professor spends his days studying the insects of the desert.

- He's a useless old man. - Useless?

There is more gold in his head than in the coffers of the Arabian kings.

The person who hired me wants to know what is in his head.

Answer.

Who is this?

It's me, Connors.

You failed at the pyramids, you're not as professional as you say.

The Italian is still alive and could soon find out where we keep the professor.

Take Cerullo to Kalun now and kill Rizzo, then we'll see.

You couldn't kill a man, Swede?

Strange...

You're a little sclerotic. Nothing abnormal for your species.

Is that you, young man?

- When does Mr. Burns arrive? - You'll see him very soon.

Thank goodness.

I understand that it was necessary to keep the secret.

Carrying me asleep in a trunk was quite an idea!

Billionaires are all original.

Grab your bag. Let's go!

Come on!

Let's go!

Move it! Walk!

- What is it, Christmas? - No, just blending in.

Yeah well "blend out" or we'll get arrested!

Kebir, what are you doing here? Come with us.

I don't want to cause any trouble with your uncle.

Everyone is very cheerful, much less myself.

Think of me when I'm far away.

Where are you going?

To patrol in the desert, we check on the caravans.

Here.

What is this?

An Egyptian perfume, made according to ancient formulas.

I would've liked to give you something else.

- Having fun, Mr. Rizzo? - Well, I'm not 18 anymore!

Well, if youth is a blessing, then Connie is doubly blessed.

Today, a few billion dollars will fall on her lap.

How so?

She turns 18 today, and inherits the shares of the oil company

that belonged to her father, Edward's brother.

Isn't the company owned by Burns?

No... I mean, to a small extent.

You see, he's more like... the administrator.

Dammit!

- What are you doing? - The Egyptian.

- Did recognize me with a mustache? - What's this nametag?

I found this name, was I to write Caputo?

Hello, Bodo? Pizza, over.

What pizza?

I talk to Bodo, it's the only way to keep him calm. Hello, Bodo?

Can you hear me? Over.

- Just what you needed. - He's a real brat.

Mr. Rizzo!

- May I talk to you? - Sure. - Come.

- How are you doing? Everything OK? - Everything is never OK.

That's true. I'd like to have a little chat with you.

I've never... Please, take a seat there.

I haven't had a chance to thank you for accepting to work for me

after the Neapolitan adventure.

Not drinking anything?

C'mon, have a drink! Wait, I'll get it.

Be right back.

Well?

You saved me. Safir is now your slave.

Yes, alright.

This thread binds life to death. Watch.

- Poison, huh? - Yeah.

They want to kill you.

May Allah protect you, sir.

The prisoner you're looking for is in Cairo, in the Kalun market.

- Aren't you hot with this thing? - No, that's just your impression.

Leave the engine on, I'll come right away.

Chief, do you trust that guy's information?

I don't trust anyone, but I have to check everything.

And take the little devil out from under the blanket or he'll suffocate!

- Yes. Take Little Devil out... - What are you doing?

- Encrypted message. - Bodo is under the blanket!

Mamma mia! What am I gonna do?

Bodo, sneaking again? You're impossible, you know that!

Dammit!

You can't fool Flatfoot, he's really strong.

He saw me under the sheet too.

But I had you fooled!

Me? Come out, hurry!

- When is Mr. Burns coming? - Soon, soon.

That's all you ever say! I wanna know when I get out of this hole!

Eh, eat! takul! takul!

Are you Mr. Burns, the oilman?

The only gas I have is in the tank of my car. Let's go.

- So who are you? - Introductions later. Come on!

Yes, yes.

- Professor, make it quick. - These bugs are important.

Hurry up.

Let's go, quick!

Run Professor, run!

Who did Professor Cerullo hang out with during his stay in Egypt?

Omar, he was his guide and interpreter.

Sometimes Kebir would also come with us.

He'd take us to the desert where the professor was doing research.

Kebir was very helpful.

Anyone else?

No, the professor didn't have many friends here.

Maybe one: Talat.

He's an Egyptian archaeologist, who's also been to Italy

for the Egyptian Museum in Turin.

And where can I find Talat?

He's not in Cairo. He lives near Aswan, on the Nile.

I accompanied the professor several times by boat to see him.

You go to Kom Ombo where there is the temple of the crocodile god.

It's a beautiful walk.

Here comes the boat, right on time!

What, you thought they torpedoed it?

Attention: We're stopping for half an hour.

Those wishing to visit the temple

are asked to return on board at the sound of the 3 sirens.

Chief, the professor isn't here!

He is.

Chief, there he is! Just as you described, the old man!

There's the professor. Everything's OK now.

Chief, what's going on?

Caputo, everything is fine.

Did you know about this? Aren't we going to save him?

Those are pawns, I need the whole deck.

It's always roaches! This professor is disgusting.

It says "koleo tropelium" here.

- The name of the beast? - The beast that you are!

- This is an anagram. - A telegram?

An anagram is a change of letters!

For example, if I look you in the face

- and say you're a "romon". - What is that?

- It's an anagram of moron. - Who? - You.

Me? I see how it is.

The anagram of "tropelium" is "petroleum".

Chief, I know I'm a moron

but what does petroleum have to do with cockroaches?

If this "disgusting" professor discovered what I think he did,

- he'd get the Nobel Prize. - Really?

You know what you'll do?

Take Bodo, the jeep, and go back to Cairo.

You try to behave. Promise?

Promise.

He promised.

And what will you do?

I have to go to the oasis of Mayed, the land of the Tibu.

There are black knights with white turbans,

brown knights with red turbans, the Swede, the professor.

There's lots of people I'm interested in.

- Going alone? - You always meet a friend on the road.

Go now!

- Thank you. - He asks for your name.

My name is Ahmed.

When I was little, I learned Italian with my father.

We used to sell fruit to the Italian soldiers passing by.

- I'd like to go to Mayed... - Mayed?

What did I say?

Wait a minute!

What the funk!

Oh, what the funk?

A bit of quiet!

You're crazy if you wanna go there!

Don't go near that land!

It's easier for an infidel to enter Mecca than the land of the Tibu.

Mayed is their land! I'm not taking you!

I didn't ask if it was a nice resort, just tell me where it is!

The Mayed live over there, beyond the dunes, in the middle of that desert.

You want to die, brother. Every stranger is an enemy to them.

It's my busi...

Everybody down!

I said down!

Get down! Get down!

No, don't worry. They don't want your skin, they want mine.

Alright, I'm going, I'll get out of your hair, don't worry.

He's already dead or the crocodiles will take care of him.

Breakfast another time, crocodile!

This just had to happen right now!

It's stuck, it wont move!

I told you that the track was there, but you don't listen to me!

- You told me that? Are you crazy? - I told you so!

If you knew, you should have spoken up!

Oh my... Mamma mia!

Let me sit down, I can't take it anymore.

I can't take it anymore, my feet are hot.

I have blisters under my feet.

Mamma mia!

All for that old man's cockroaches.

Who knows where we are and whether they'll find us!

Caputo, don't worry, they've already found us.

Riders.

My God, what do they want?

Mamma mia, they look so dark.

Is this Arab hospitality?

You don't even feed me?

Take it easy!

I'm waiting for your boss, he's on an errand.

Bravo! Already delivered the man from the boat?

You're a good delivery boy.

You and I have something in common.

This one is from Naples.

- Then you met my brother, Omar. - Yes

and I also know who killed him.

I get it, I get it.

I am your prisoner.

With good manners you get everything.

I'm among beasts, tied up like a salami!

How pathetic!

You're eating?

Bodo, aren't you gonna free me? Flatfoot won't forgive you if you don't!

You think this will cut?

Yes, hurry, Bodo! You know I've always treated you like a son.

Come here. If we go back to Naples...

Swear not to send me to school.

Yes, I swear!

And you'll let me drive the police car?

Yes, the police car, the tank, everything!

Come on, free me.

Bodo! Bodo, hurry up!

Come here.

Cut!

Cut, quickly.

Go. Go!

Get the basket.

Let's pretend we're selling carpets.

Go!

Welcome, my friend.

It's good that Hassan kept you alive.

This day is going to be a lot more entertaining.

What do you think of the ancient palace of the Zakars?

If you put on a fake nose, the carnival is complete.

You're an extraordinary man, Mr. Rizzo!

Full of surprises, I must admit.

May I offer you some coffee?

Magueré!

Oh, right!

I'm so thoughtless, your hands are tied.

Aside from how much I enjoy your clown face,

I only drink coffee Neapolitan style.

You mean you used to drink it, my friend. Your story ends here.

I have more guests for what we might call... the last supper!

You won't die alone, here you'll meet some old friends.

Zakar has gone mad! He's kept us locked in here for hours.

Where's the Sheikh we were supposed to meet?

Perhaps, there's been a setback.

Setback my ass! I'll call Washington, I have many friends in Congress.

Our company paid 8 million dollars in taxes.

They need to deal with these idiots! It's unacceptable!

Connors, what are you doing here?

If you want some advice, don't ask too many questions.

Just do what I tell you to.

Are you out of your mind?

These are Zakar's orders.

Show some respect, I am Professor Cerullo!

My name is in the encyclopedia and important scientific treatises!

Don't make a fuss, get down!

Uncle, the professor!

- Are you Mr. Burns? - Yes, that's him!

Finally!

Please, take it easy.

What a relief! That strange bearded man had my mind all mixed up.

Connie!

Mr. Burns, my discovery comes from the study of beetles...

- Come on! - It's important.

Let's go!

Congratulations. You combine strength with intelligence, Mr. Rizzo.

Those qualities are hard to find in one person.

Yes, I must admit, you've come very close to the truth,

but unfortunately, you're destined to die not knowing it.

As fate would have it, your journey ends here.

Unfortunately!

It was written, Mr. Rizzo.

Would you follow me, please?

Music!

Here are those who will accompany you on your final journey, Mr. Rizzo.

Chief!

This time, the disguise didn't work, they got me!

These people are crazy! I wanna go back to Naples!

I wanna go home, Chief!

Zakar, what is the meaning of this?

It's very simple, dear Edward.

You must die.

- Who's going to kill me? - A little insect.

An insect that Professor Cerullo identified among numerous species of beetles.

- Right? - Yes!

I gathered something reading your reports,

then you spoke under the influence of opium and now I know!

Finally, you've revealed to me the secret of that little insect.

Yes?

What the hell are you talking about?

It's true, it's the discovery of the century!

I found the tropelium!

Tro-pe-lium. It's the anagram of pe-tro-leum.

A major discovery!

Wherever oil flows, this beetle lives.

So wherever there's beetles, there's oil!

- It's like that, Mr. Burns! - Fantastic!

This discovery is worth billions.

And for that you must die. You're the only ones who know...

the secret of tropelium.

You will have the privilege of dying in a very original way.

I'll give you a little demonstration.

It's only fair that I prepare you for this step.

And since you don't know Arabic, I'll translate this ancient inscription.

"The sand of the desert is as light as air,"

"but he who breathes it..."

"dies."

You may proceed.

What are you doing?

Oh God! I'm choking, I can't breathe!

Long live Italy!

Help me! Mamma mia!

You'll all end up the same way.

And the black gold will have one master.

I'll get there before the others, it'll be very simple.

All I have to do is search the areas where that insect lives.

People kill each other for oil.

Men are bought, sold.

Oil is much more than wealth, it is power!

And it will be my power,

the power of Zakar!

I've seen lots of assholes in my life, but never one like you.

You did all this, killed so many people

out of your own madness.

Helped by another knucklehead, like this Swede

who I'll be taking back to Naples.

Next to you, even a cockroach looks like candy!

You...

You're already a dead man, Mr. Rizzo!

Let's kill him right now.

Like Omar, because he didn't want to be implicated in Connie's kidnapping.

You will suffer more than that bastard!

You're wrong, Swede.

I'm here to avenge the killing of my brother.

As for him...

He's never been tied down!

Get away!

- Caputo, you're a hopeless mess! - Alright, but release me.

What are you doing? On my legs...

Let's go!

Professor, give me your suspenders! I need them!

- Here! - Did you get them?

What about me?

Get the professor, quick!

Watch out, Uncle!

Professor, take her away!

Caputo, what the hell are you doing?

I'm about to slap you, shut up!

Come on, stop him! Stop him!

Put me down!

- Caputo, come up with something! - It's a word!

Oh, wait.

I don't want to change your face otherwise I'll have to retake your mug shot!

Leave that worm to me!

His death will be slow and my brother will be avenged.

I'm sorry, but he's mine.

Why put him in jail when the desert can bury what the vultures leave behind.

Because there is a law, Hassan, and I came here to enforce it.

I'll never understand your law.

My bag! Is everything in it? The lens, the beetles...

- The gun? - It's mine!

Don't move!

There!

I salute you, stranger.

Better a bunch of dates than paying taxes, huh?

You keep it, in memory of Omar and me.

May Allah help you.

Just in time, Lieutenant Kebir.

You again?

Connie, what are you doing there?

- Mr. Burns, let's leave them alone. - Yes, perhaps we'd better.

Rizzo, you are priceless. I'm offering you $80,000 a year.

That's what the President of the United States makes! Tell me yes.

Save your money, you don't need the police. You have the military.

This specimen is a rarity. It's a marvel, don't you see?

To me it's a piece of crap.

What? It's a superb specimen!

I will teach you to appreciate these little animals.

Not even Sherlock Holmes would have solved this case!

- May I give you a kiss? - A kiss?

Are you nuts? Have you turned gay wearing all these disguises?

Me?

- Really? Hopefully not! - Right. Let's go.

Where are we going? To the pyramids, to Luxor?

- Naples. - Home, finally!

I'm telling everyone back home that you've turned gay. Run!

How can I run? I'm wearing stilettos. Wait, Chief!

- Are you sure about what you saw? - I saw it with my own eyes.

The professor is half crazy, he's a maniac.

He had Mr. Burns drill the entire desert and they didn't find a drop of oil.

- Is that Bodo's bag? - Yes.

- Didn't he go to school? - No, what school?

He's always with the professor.

He doesn't wanna be a cop anymore, he wants to be an oilman.

Oilman?

Alright, he can be the black oilman.

Or not?

If he were Arab, it'd be better.

If he was Arab... He's black!

I know, we'll manage.

Tropelium in Naples!

Bodo, go to the knob and squeeze!

Beautiful! Beautiful tropelium!

Yes, that's exactly what it is! No doubt!

There's no doubt! Tropelium means oil.

There's another one! Another tropelium, Bodo!

I'm sure, look. The miracle of the century will happen here!

The pressure's rising, the jet will soon explode!

- It's done! - Professor, it's Flatfoot!

Commissioner!

We did it! We really did it this time!

The oil will come out here and the world will witness my discovery!

Years of research and the day has come! You will soon see...

Coriolano Cerullo... the Great!

You've become immortal! Naples, I gave you oil!

Chief, the oil! Look, the oil!

Flatfoot, you know what? The professor is a god!

Look, Chief, oil in Naples!

- Call the firemen. - What are they gonna do?

- They hit a sewer pipe. - No, that's oil, you can see that.

Oil in Naples, we are rich! It's a dream!

- A dream? - Look at that!

Then go to the Lotto counter and play 1 for Italy.

22 for that nutjob.

72 for the miracle.

- And 81. - What for?

81 is for you, the fool who believes it.