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1
00:00:03,962 --> 00:00:07,089
It's a lot like whack-a-mole
and Skee-Ball and dodgeball,
2
00:00:07,090 --> 00:00:09,842
a little spearfishing,
and a touch of Clue.
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,510
Wow, steel ball
sounds like
4
00:00:11,511 --> 00:00:14,138
a very dangerous game,
Jichael Mordan.
5
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:16,140
People die,
but it's not dangerous.
6
00:00:16,141 --> 00:00:18,268
Oh, my God, it's my bed.
7
00:00:19,978 --> 00:00:22,021
[remote beeping]
8
00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,605
That's so crazy.
9
00:00:23,606 --> 00:00:25,941
My bed is never
at the end of the hallway.
10
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:28,445
[both moaning]
11
00:00:31,072 --> 00:00:33,490
Oh, Sunny, you're so grounded,
so adjusted,
12
00:00:33,491 --> 00:00:36,452
so emotionally aware
of who you are.
13
00:00:36,453 --> 00:00:38,495
I wanna put
a baby in you, girl.
14
00:00:38,496 --> 00:00:39,664
Absolutely not.
15
00:00:40,999 --> 00:00:43,125
Mm, now if you're
the mother of my child,
16
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,918
what should your allowance
be like?
17
00:00:44,919 --> 00:00:46,170
10,000?
18
00:00:46,171 --> 00:00:48,255
- A week?
- [cha-ching]
19
00:00:48,256 --> 00:00:51,050
Great idea.
And, like, 20 nannies.
20
00:00:51,051 --> 00:00:53,844
One for each day
of the month.
21
00:00:53,845 --> 00:00:56,305
Oh! Give me one sec.
22
00:00:56,306 --> 00:00:59,391
- I'll be right back, hm!
- Hey, no problem.
23
00:00:59,392 --> 00:01:03,188
I'll just watch some good old
Steel TV till you get back.
24
00:01:05,523 --> 00:01:07,524
♪ Boom boom,
chicka-chicka-chicka boom ♪
25
00:01:07,525 --> 00:01:09,109
Come on, come on.
Where is it?
26
00:01:09,110 --> 00:01:10,694
Where is it
when you need it?
27
00:01:10,695 --> 00:01:13,030
So, funny story.
28
00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:14,448
I left my uterus at home.
29
00:01:14,449 --> 00:01:15,866
But if you give me
a few minutes,
30
00:01:15,867 --> 00:01:18,202
- I can run over and grab it.
- Uh-oh. I have a tournament
31
00:01:18,203 --> 00:01:20,329
at the Bermuda Triangle
in about two hours.
32
00:01:20,330 --> 00:01:22,915
Oh, well, we can just make
a baby when you come back.
33
00:01:22,916 --> 00:01:24,583
I'm not comin' back.
34
00:01:24,584 --> 00:01:27,336
Alright, well,
be back in a jiff.
35
00:01:27,337 --> 00:01:29,756
[♪ sexy rock music playing]
36
00:01:33,718 --> 00:01:37,763
Ladi, Tulip, I lost my uterus,
and I need help finding it.
37
00:01:37,764 --> 00:01:39,348
That's wonderful!
38
00:01:39,349 --> 00:01:42,142
Hell, yeah.
I've been dyin' for a reason
39
00:01:42,143 --> 00:01:43,894
to try out this new weapon
I purchased.
40
00:01:43,895 --> 00:01:47,856
Hey, I thought
I made it
crystal fuckin' clear
41
00:01:47,857 --> 00:01:49,733
that you ain't welcome here.
42
00:01:49,734 --> 00:01:52,152
Wait, what? Why?
43
00:01:52,153 --> 00:01:55,406
[♪ sultry music playing]
44
00:02:04,124 --> 00:02:06,292
Okay, fuck this.
45
00:02:08,753 --> 00:02:09,921
[grunts]
46
00:02:11,297 --> 00:02:15,092
Thieeeeeef!
47
00:02:15,093 --> 00:02:17,887
♪
48
00:02:22,517 --> 00:02:25,394
Jerk.
Anyways, do you remember
49
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:27,604
- where you had it last?
- Had what?
50
00:02:27,605 --> 00:02:30,274
Oh! My uterus.
Not even a little bit.
51
00:02:30,275 --> 00:02:32,401
But it feels like
a recent thing, though.
52
00:02:32,402 --> 00:02:34,486
Maybe it's best
we retrace your steps.
53
00:02:34,487 --> 00:02:36,321
Let's start with where
you were last night.
54
00:02:36,322 --> 00:02:38,448
- [people chattering]
- So, by the time he tried
55
00:02:38,449 --> 00:02:40,450
to get the third tentacle in,
I was like...
56
00:02:40,451 --> 00:02:43,704
[laughing] ...buddy,
we just fuckin' met.
57
00:02:43,705 --> 00:02:45,122
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
58
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,416
There's no fucking way
you're getting in here.
59
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:50,085
Why?
Because it's gay alien night?
60
00:02:50,086 --> 00:02:51,795
Because we aren't gay aliens?
61
00:02:51,796 --> 00:02:54,464
Look, bitch,
the correct term is gaylien.
62
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,133
- [alien trilling]
- And you know that.
63
00:02:56,134 --> 00:02:57,926
I don't know shit,
you galactiscunt.
64
00:02:57,927 --> 00:03:01,180
Mr. Gaylien, I'd like
to apologize for my friend.
65
00:03:01,181 --> 00:03:03,640
She has a lot to unlearn
about cosmo-sexuals.
66
00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:05,392
We're looking
for something special.
67
00:03:05,393 --> 00:03:07,978
- You need to be more specific.
- An above-average uterus.
68
00:03:07,979 --> 00:03:10,647
Mm.
Fine, I'll scan the parameters.
69
00:03:10,648 --> 00:03:12,983
- [chirping]
- It's not in here.
70
00:03:12,984 --> 00:03:14,736
You didn't even
fucking look.
71
00:03:16,196 --> 00:03:18,822
I do see a purse
in the north corner booth,
72
00:03:18,823 --> 00:03:20,991
but you bitches look like
you don't carry purses.
73
00:03:20,992 --> 00:03:22,868
- So...
- That's it!
74
00:03:22,869 --> 00:03:24,411
[♪ action music playing]
75
00:03:24,412 --> 00:03:25,788
- [music stops]
- Thank you, Mr. Gaylien.
76
00:03:26,998 --> 00:03:30,500
So glad I'm not from
this ghetto-ass planet, oof!
77
00:03:30,501 --> 00:03:32,711
Hey, you never told us
why you need your uterus.
78
00:03:32,712 --> 00:03:34,338
Jichael Mordan
wants to make
a baby with me
79
00:03:34,339 --> 00:03:35,839
and bankroll
my entire existence.
80
00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,299
Jichael Mordan?
81
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:38,842
The greatest steel ball player
of all time
82
00:03:38,843 --> 00:03:40,928
- wants you to have his kids?
- [car screeching, crashing]
83
00:03:40,929 --> 00:03:42,554
You're a steel ball fan?
84
00:03:42,555 --> 00:03:44,556
Jichael's steel balls
have been sucked
into more holes
85
00:03:44,557 --> 00:03:46,642
- than anyone in the league.
- [gasps]
86
00:03:46,643 --> 00:03:49,479
Speaking of balls,
I know a place we can look.
87
00:03:51,439 --> 00:03:54,483
The mechanic?
Why would he have it?
88
00:03:54,484 --> 00:03:56,360
This is between
you, me, and a tree,
but a few weeks ago,
89
00:03:56,361 --> 00:03:57,861
he gave it a spit shine
on the house.
90
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,029
[mechanic] Yeah, girl!
91
00:03:59,030 --> 00:04:00,489
[grunting]
Yeah!
92
00:04:00,490 --> 00:04:02,407
[exclaiming]
Come on.
93
00:04:02,408 --> 00:04:04,243
Look it, look.
Look at my moves.
94
00:04:04,244 --> 00:04:05,661
- [Sunny] Well, well, well.
- Ah!
95
00:04:05,662 --> 00:04:07,996
If it isn't the bitch
who made Jamal.
96
00:04:07,997 --> 00:04:10,165
Well, well, well,
Jamal's trash girlfriend.
97
00:04:10,166 --> 00:04:13,585
I'm trash, but you're getting
head from a vacuum cleaner.
98
00:04:13,586 --> 00:04:15,295
What are you doin' here?
We're closed.
99
00:04:15,296 --> 00:04:18,465
Let's stay focused.
Sir, we're looking for a uterus.
100
00:04:18,466 --> 00:04:20,926
You lost your fuckin' uterus?
I knew you were scum.
101
00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,761
Who said it was my uterus?
102
00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:25,806
After you trashed my hangar,
toyed with my equipment,
103
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,058
and got chips
on the control panel
of the motherboard?
104
00:04:28,059 --> 00:04:30,727
You're the most
irresponsible person
I ever met.
105
00:04:30,728 --> 00:04:32,771
I wasn't irresponsible
when you were begging me
106
00:04:32,772 --> 00:04:34,648
to step on your balls,
now, was I?
107
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,358
Now, I see the connection.
108
00:04:36,359 --> 00:04:38,402
Take your wombless ass
and get the fuck out.
109
00:04:38,403 --> 00:04:40,487
Nobody talks to her
like that but me.
110
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,656
[♪ action music playing]
111
00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:43,865
- Get off me!
- Ladi, let's go.
112
00:04:43,866 --> 00:04:45,367
Let me un-alive
that motherfucker!
113
00:04:45,368 --> 00:04:47,411
Now, where were we?
114
00:04:47,412 --> 00:04:50,247
- [vacuum whirring]
- Yeah.
115
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,999
[phone ringing]
116
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,208
Hi, Jichael.
117
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:54,751
Sorry it's taking me
so long to get back.
118
00:04:54,752 --> 00:04:58,588
I ended up falling in--
in the toilet.
119
00:04:58,589 --> 00:05:01,174
It's okay. Bermuda Triangle
just showed up to my house
120
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:04,428
and suggested I give away
all my money and assets now,
121
00:05:04,429 --> 00:05:06,722
but only to someone
I have blood ties to.
122
00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:10,642
The Bermuda Triangle
is a location.
123
00:05:10,643 --> 00:05:13,270
That's what I said.
Anyways, I'll do my best
124
00:05:13,271 --> 00:05:15,440
to stall them
for about 45 minutes.
125
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,899
Oh my God, oh my God,
oh my God, oh my God.
126
00:05:17,900 --> 00:05:20,027
I have 45 minutes
to get pregnant
and take possession
127
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,903
of everything Jichael owns.
We have to hurry.
128
00:05:21,904 --> 00:05:23,613
Let's do some
object association.
129
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:26,117
What was near the uterus
that you can remember?
130
00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:28,618
Arugula.
131
00:05:28,619 --> 00:05:30,871
- Dolphin penis.
- [dolphin chittering]
132
00:05:30,872 --> 00:05:33,623
And, um, water balloons?
133
00:05:33,624 --> 00:05:34,958
[Ladi] Oh, shit.
I remember now.
134
00:05:34,959 --> 00:05:39,296
It was the day we harassed
that Wehovah's Jitness.
135
00:05:39,297 --> 00:05:41,798
Have you heard the good news?
Uh...
136
00:05:41,799 --> 00:05:44,801
Welcome to
our watchtower, bitch.
137
00:05:44,802 --> 00:05:47,554
The kingdom
does not approve.
138
00:05:47,555 --> 00:05:50,891
[Ladi and Sunny laughing]
139
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:53,143
Damn, we're out already.
140
00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:56,271
I got one more.
[chuckles]
141
00:05:56,272 --> 00:05:58,148
Wait, wait.
What the hell is that?
142
00:05:58,149 --> 00:06:00,525
[hiccuping]
My uterus.
143
00:06:00,526 --> 00:06:02,652
You don't think you're gonna
need that at some point?
144
00:06:02,653 --> 00:06:04,822
No. I'm a piece of shit.
145
00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:08,784
Every man I've ever loved
was right about me.
146
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:10,660
Having impeccable
facial structure
147
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,829
doesn't mean I have
what it takes to be a partner
148
00:06:12,830 --> 00:06:14,873
worth loving
or committing to.
149
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:16,792
It's probably best
that I destroy it.
150
00:06:16,793 --> 00:06:18,919
Sunny, being in
a committed relationship
151
00:06:18,920 --> 00:06:21,672
and needing a uterus
are not mutually exclusive.
152
00:06:22,840 --> 00:06:23,840
Tight.
153
00:06:23,841 --> 00:06:25,675
- [splashing]
- [Wehovah's Jitness sobbing]
154
00:06:25,676 --> 00:06:29,346
[Wehovah's Jitness] Oh, no!
[retching]
155
00:06:29,347 --> 00:06:33,225
Welp, so long,
lazy millionaire woman future.
156
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,851
Like I've always said,
157
00:06:34,852 --> 00:06:37,062
organized religion
ruins everything.
158
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,563
Speaking of religion,
159
00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:40,607
I know a place
where I can get a fresh one.
160
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,193
Like, a really,
really fresh one.
161
00:06:43,194 --> 00:06:45,278
Like, a terrifyingly
fresh one.
162
00:06:45,279 --> 00:06:46,655
Like, it's still
bleedin' and shit.
163
00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:48,825
- [scoffs] Can we just go?
- Yes.
164
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:53,370
[group chanting]
Antelopo, lorem ipsum.
165
00:06:53,371 --> 00:06:55,872
Antelopo, lorem ipsum.
166
00:06:55,873 --> 00:06:59,376
- Antelopo, lorem ipsum.
- [antelope whinnying]
167
00:06:59,377 --> 00:07:03,088
Hootie-hoo!
Hello? Hello. Hi. Hi. Hi.
168
00:07:03,089 --> 00:07:05,048
I'm looking for a Ted.
169
00:07:05,049 --> 00:07:07,926
Ted Banks.
Did a Ted Banks come in today?
170
00:07:07,927 --> 00:07:09,469
- Sunny?
- Ted!
171
00:07:09,470 --> 00:07:12,556
- You son of a bitch!
- It's been ages!
172
00:07:12,557 --> 00:07:14,057
Come on back.
173
00:07:14,058 --> 00:07:16,810
[♪ pop music playing]
174
00:07:16,811 --> 00:07:21,356
♪ Hiding safe
from the blinding ♪
175
00:07:21,357 --> 00:07:25,068
- [Tulip neighing]
- ♪ Light that's reminded me ♪
176
00:07:25,069 --> 00:07:26,904
♪ Of you ♪
177
00:07:27,655 --> 00:07:29,698
Hey, how was Rebecca's
banana nut bread?
178
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,408
Was it too nutty?
179
00:07:31,409 --> 00:07:32,993
Delicious, Ted,
but maybe use
180
00:07:32,994 --> 00:07:34,411
a third of the walnuts
next time.
181
00:07:34,412 --> 00:07:35,620
- Right.
- I'm allergic.
182
00:07:35,621 --> 00:07:37,747
Right.
So, what's up?
183
00:07:37,748 --> 00:07:39,833
Long story short,
I threw my uterus at someone,
184
00:07:39,834 --> 00:07:41,877
and I need
another one now, please.
185
00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,753
[laughing]
Classic Sunny.
186
00:07:43,754 --> 00:07:45,423
Let's check
the lost and found.
187
00:07:46,257 --> 00:07:48,717
Rebecca's thinking about getting
that surgery you got as well.
188
00:07:48,718 --> 00:07:50,093
We got three little ones
who we love,
189
00:07:50,094 --> 00:07:52,596
but it's like three's company,
four's a crowd.
190
00:07:52,597 --> 00:07:54,181
I think it's a woman's
right to choose
191
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:57,767
to pop their uterus
in or out at their leisure.
192
00:07:57,768 --> 00:08:00,520
I mean, it's theirs, am I right?
People should have free will.
193
00:08:00,521 --> 00:08:02,272
- [priest screaming]
- Couldn't agree more.
194
00:08:02,273 --> 00:08:03,983
[Tulip neighing]
195
00:08:05,359 --> 00:08:07,235
Tulip, what's
gotten into you?
196
00:08:07,236 --> 00:08:08,904
You know me.
I'm an ally.
197
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,989
A few of the girls here
are considering the operation.
198
00:08:10,990 --> 00:08:12,365
Some have done it
and decided
199
00:08:12,366 --> 00:08:13,658
they didn't want
their uterus anymore,
200
00:08:13,659 --> 00:08:16,328
so they donated it to
the Egosystems Sperm Bank.
201
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,121
- Oh, the sperm bank!
- [priest continues screaming]
202
00:08:18,122 --> 00:08:19,080
Have you checked there?
203
00:08:19,081 --> 00:08:21,082
You could probably
just get a fresh one.
204
00:08:21,083 --> 00:08:23,126
Duh.
Thanks, Ted.
205
00:08:23,127 --> 00:08:24,628
Bring it in.
206
00:08:24,629 --> 00:08:26,588
[both grunting]
207
00:08:26,589 --> 00:08:29,674
[priest continues screaming]
208
00:08:29,675 --> 00:08:32,845
Terrence,
can you knock it
the fuck off?
209
00:08:33,471 --> 00:08:34,889
[Terrence]
Sorry.
210
00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:37,474
One fresh uterus, please.
211
00:08:37,475 --> 00:08:41,144
This is a sperm bank,
sweetie, okay?
212
00:08:41,145 --> 00:08:46,733
Sperm.
S-P-E-R-M, sperm.
213
00:08:46,734 --> 00:08:49,653
S as in Sam,
P as in pistachio.
214
00:08:49,654 --> 00:08:51,530
We get it.
I was told you guys
215
00:08:51,531 --> 00:08:54,324
routinely receive
uterus donations.
216
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,701
You were told wrong.
217
00:08:56,702 --> 00:08:59,788
Oh, hello there!
So, where do we want
this pack
218
00:08:59,789 --> 00:09:02,916
of routinely delivered
uteruses-es-es?
219
00:09:02,917 --> 00:09:04,709
Got damn!
220
00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:07,212
You said all you had
was sperm.
221
00:09:07,213 --> 00:09:11,424
Miss Grumpy COD Receptionist,
may we please have one?
222
00:09:11,425 --> 00:09:13,051
My friend here is ready
to have a baby,
223
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,595
and the father is not only
incredibly wealthy,
224
00:09:15,596 --> 00:09:18,723
he once juggled
37 balls in one night.
225
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:21,518
You seem like
the last person on Earth
226
00:09:21,519 --> 00:09:23,478
who should become a mom.
227
00:09:23,479 --> 00:09:25,063
[♪ sad music playing]
228
00:09:25,064 --> 00:09:28,233
- [♪ action music playing]
- Yeah. There we go.
229
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:29,401
[gunshot]
230
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:31,821
[♪ music continues]
231
00:09:33,447 --> 00:09:34,907
[screaming]
232
00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:36,367
[ricocheting]
233
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,378
[slow-motion screaming]
234
00:09:48,379 --> 00:09:51,214
♪
235
00:09:51,215 --> 00:09:53,675
[delivery man sobbing]
236
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:56,469
Wow, that bullet
just conspired in my favor.
237
00:09:56,470 --> 00:09:58,222
- [click]
- [explosion]
238
00:09:59,890 --> 00:10:01,100
Asshole.
239
00:10:02,476 --> 00:10:04,311
[groaning]
240
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:05,729
My bad.
241
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:08,565
I've been dying to try out
this new gun, like, all day.
242
00:10:08,566 --> 00:10:11,526
[sighs] It's fine.
It's just not meant to be.
243
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:13,278
Okay, I'll admit,
it did feel really nice
244
00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,739
to think about having a tiny
Sunny running around here,
245
00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:18,074
stuntin' on these
little snot-nosed bitches.
246
00:10:18,075 --> 00:10:20,410
Motherhood just isn't
in the cards, alright?
247
00:10:20,411 --> 00:10:21,953
For what it's worth,
248
00:10:21,954 --> 00:10:23,580
I don't agree
with anything you said
249
00:10:23,581 --> 00:10:25,415
when we were drunk
on the balcony that day.
250
00:10:25,416 --> 00:10:27,083
Oh, my God, Ladi, that's--
251
00:10:27,084 --> 00:10:30,086
that's a really
nice thing to say.
252
00:10:30,087 --> 00:10:33,131
I have another box in the truck.
[chuckles]
253
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,967
Dude, then why did you let me
give this whole dumbass speech?
254
00:10:35,968 --> 00:10:37,677
[Ladi] [chuckles]
I bet you do, booty.
255
00:10:37,678 --> 00:10:39,763
[laughing]
256
00:10:39,764 --> 00:10:41,264
[Sunny]
There he is, right there.
257
00:10:41,265 --> 00:10:42,265
The COD of my dreams.
258
00:10:42,266 --> 00:10:45,018
- Are you ready to make a baby?
- Absolutely.
259
00:10:45,019 --> 00:10:48,105
- [♪ dramatic musical sting]
- Where's your dick?
260
00:10:49,065 --> 00:10:50,357
Oh, shit.
261
00:10:50,358 --> 00:10:52,442
That damned triangle!
262
00:10:52,443 --> 00:10:55,820
[sobbing]
It took everything.
263
00:10:55,821 --> 00:10:58,616
[both sobbing]
264
00:10:59,367 --> 00:11:02,535
- [Jichael] Oh, God!
- [sobbing continues]
265
00:11:02,536 --> 00:11:05,790
[♪ somber music playing]
19728
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