Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,959 --> 00:00:02,543
[TV static drones]
2
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:05,005
[bright tone]
3
00:00:07,173 --> 00:00:10,218
[thunder booms]
4
00:00:16,683 --> 00:00:18,225
[light clatter]
5
00:00:18,226 --> 00:00:20,561
[clock chiming]
6
00:00:20,562 --> 00:00:24,773
[cuckoo clock chiming]
7
00:00:24,774 --> 00:00:28,068
[tense music]
8
00:00:28,069 --> 00:00:32,614
? ?
9
00:00:32,615 --> 00:00:35,951
[thunder booms]
10
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:42,792
? ?
11
00:01:00,560 --> 00:01:02,061
- [gasps]
12
00:01:02,062 --> 00:01:08,943
? ?
13
00:01:14,282 --> 00:01:17,702
- [screaming]
14
00:01:19,954 --> 00:01:23,707
[gasping]
15
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:27,169
Oh, it was a dream.
[exhales deeply]
16
00:01:27,170 --> 00:01:29,546
Sorry, Keefe.
- No, I'm sorry.
17
00:01:29,547 --> 00:01:31,924
It seems your nocturnal terrors
and night sweats
18
00:01:31,925 --> 00:01:34,301
have gotten a bit worse.
19
00:01:34,302 --> 00:01:35,469
- Nonsense.
20
00:01:35,470 --> 00:01:39,014
These are your night sweats
coming off on me.
21
00:01:39,015 --> 00:01:42,810
- I wish it was that,
but I'm dry, brother.
22
00:01:42,811 --> 00:01:45,312
- Who cares
who's night-sweating, Keefe?
23
00:01:45,313 --> 00:01:48,024
- Mm, yeah.
- It's just a bad dream...
24
00:01:49,776 --> 00:01:52,903
Most likely
because of the storm.
25
00:01:52,904 --> 00:01:55,364
I hate storms.
26
00:01:55,365 --> 00:01:59,576
I have ever since
I was a little boy.
27
00:01:59,577 --> 00:02:02,538
It's like the Devil's
peeing on you.
28
00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:05,374
- Yes.
29
00:02:05,375 --> 00:02:07,960
Yes, I can picture it.
30
00:02:07,961 --> 00:02:10,963
Satan with his red-hot weenus,
31
00:02:10,964 --> 00:02:14,341
pissing a foul-smelling stream
all over us.
32
00:02:14,342 --> 00:02:17,219
The hue is lava orange.
33
00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:21,557
The urine is more hot
than regular human urine.
34
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:25,936
The concrete beneath it steams
as it pours all over the land.
35
00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:28,939
At first, it's gross, but...
36
00:02:28,940 --> 00:02:33,735
it's the Devil's piss,
so it can play tricks on us...
37
00:02:33,736 --> 00:02:37,489
make people think
that it's actually delicious.
38
00:02:37,490 --> 00:02:41,326
So the people start
drinking it up, all of it,
39
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:44,371
thinking that it's
a tasty wine cooler
40
00:02:44,372 --> 00:02:47,708
or a new
slightly bitter kombucha,
41
00:02:47,709 --> 00:02:51,378
not realizing that
it's Satan's TT.
42
00:02:51,379 --> 00:02:55,132
All the while, the Devil
sits back, and he laughs.
43
00:02:55,133 --> 00:02:58,135
[chuckles]
He laughs...
44
00:02:58,136 --> 00:03:02,973
watching the humans lick up
all this evil rain piss.
45
00:03:02,974 --> 00:03:06,268
Can you see it?
46
00:03:06,269 --> 00:03:09,355
- [snores softly]
47
00:03:11,774 --> 00:03:15,195
[thunder booms]
48
00:03:24,120 --> 00:03:27,623
- Your hot sorcery piss
can't hurt us in here.
49
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:29,416
Begone, Devil.
50
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:32,462
[thunder booming]
[moaning]
51
00:03:37,300 --> 00:03:40,719
- ? Praise ?
52
00:03:40,720 --> 00:03:44,139
? ?
53
00:03:44,140 --> 00:03:47,768
? Praise ?
54
00:03:47,769 --> 00:03:49,061
- [squeals]
55
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,188
[gasps] We have to stop.
We're being loud.
56
00:03:51,189 --> 00:03:52,523
Shh.
57
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:55,192
[toilet flushes]
58
00:03:55,193 --> 00:03:57,861
- There,
now no one can hear us.
59
00:03:57,862 --> 00:03:59,655
- [laughing]
We got to get back.
60
00:03:59,656 --> 00:04:02,824
They're gonna be suspicious.
We're missing supper.
61
00:04:02,825 --> 00:04:04,159
- Oh.
- [gasps]
62
00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:06,245
- I'd rather have me
a sweet treat.
63
00:04:06,246 --> 00:04:09,248
- Mm. Mmm.
64
00:04:09,249 --> 00:04:11,166
Oh, you're so bad.
65
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:13,669
Go on. You go first.
Hurry up.
66
00:04:13,670 --> 00:04:15,462
- [groans]
- [gasps]
67
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:17,839
Hmm.
68
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:19,841
So bad.
69
00:04:19,842 --> 00:04:22,219
- ? Lay some happiness on me ?
70
00:04:22,220 --> 00:04:24,972
? So the brighter side
you'll see ?
71
00:04:24,973 --> 00:04:28,684
? No more loneliness
to me... ?
72
00:04:28,685 --> 00:04:31,019
- It is so good to be hanging
with Gemstones again.
73
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,981
- Corey talks
about y'all a lot.
74
00:04:33,982 --> 00:04:36,483
- [laughs] That's because we've
had some pretty rockin' times.
75
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:37,484
- Yeah.
76
00:04:37,485 --> 00:04:39,695
- I hope the, uh,
Mario Brothers over there
77
00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,488
save some food
for the rest of us.
78
00:04:41,489 --> 00:04:45,033
Jesse and BJ looking
like mustache twins.
79
00:04:45,034 --> 00:04:46,326
Y'all plan this?
80
00:04:46,327 --> 00:04:47,869
- Why don't you shut
the fuck up, Kelvin?
81
00:04:47,870 --> 00:04:50,664
Ain't nobody
no damn mustache twin.
82
00:04:50,665 --> 00:04:53,542
I had my mustache
well before BJ had his.
83
00:04:53,543 --> 00:04:55,544
- Please, dude.
BJ grew his.
84
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:58,255
It looks super macho.
And you copied.
85
00:04:58,256 --> 00:05:00,257
- I think we kind of grew them
around the same time.
86
00:05:00,258 --> 00:05:02,426
- No, I don't think so, BJ.
87
00:05:02,427 --> 00:05:05,554
I had my mustache first,
and, like, a week later,
88
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:07,556
you had a not-as-cool one.
- Sensitive.
89
00:05:07,557 --> 00:05:08,890
- What the hell are we doing
90
00:05:08,891 --> 00:05:10,892
talking about goddamn
facial hair for?
91
00:05:10,893 --> 00:05:12,811
Just drop it.
Enough about the mustaches.
92
00:05:12,812 --> 00:05:15,480
- [laughs] Didn't I tell you
they're fun?
93
00:05:15,481 --> 00:05:17,524
- [laughs] Oh, they're so fun.
- Too good, man.
94
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:18,900
- I love it.
I love the life.
95
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:20,027
- Oh, man.
96
00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:21,320
Hey, y'all remember
when your daddy got us
97
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,155
those Michael Jackson outfits?
98
00:05:23,156 --> 00:05:25,073
- Oh, yeah.
- We remember. It's awesome.
99
00:05:25,074 --> 00:05:27,576
- I like the thought of y'all
as mini Michael Jacksons,
100
00:05:27,577 --> 00:05:29,119
doing moonwalks.
101
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:30,746
- I begged my daddy
for that getup.
102
00:05:30,747 --> 00:05:32,456
He couldn't get it.
103
00:05:32,457 --> 00:05:34,416
Eli, somehow he pulled it off.
104
00:05:34,417 --> 00:05:36,126
- Yeah, I ordered
them special
105
00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,961
from the same guy
that did MJ's.
106
00:05:37,962 --> 00:05:41,173
- Yeah, 20 grand each, all
with gold cords and everything.
107
00:05:41,174 --> 00:05:43,925
Daddy did not fuck around,
did you, Daddy?
108
00:05:43,926 --> 00:05:46,261
- There he goes.
- Daddy-he moonwalked.
109
00:05:46,262 --> 00:05:48,263
- The Gemstones
always did it big.
110
00:05:48,264 --> 00:05:51,099
- Some of us are
still doing it big.
111
00:05:51,100 --> 00:05:53,560
Guess who's about
to be announced
112
00:05:53,561 --> 00:05:55,312
as one of the nominees
113
00:05:55,313 --> 00:05:57,773
for Top Christ Following Man
of the Year.
114
00:05:57,774 --> 00:05:59,733
- Uh-uh.
- Moi!
115
00:05:59,734 --> 00:06:01,902
- Oh, that's nice.
- Bullshit.
116
00:06:01,903 --> 00:06:02,944
They're nominating you
117
00:06:02,945 --> 00:06:04,488
for Top Christ Following Man
of the Year?
118
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:05,822
- Mm-hmm.
119
00:06:05,823 --> 00:06:07,616
- They snub me
every single year.
120
00:06:07,617 --> 00:06:09,618
They've only nominated
Daddy twice.
121
00:06:09,619 --> 00:06:11,953
- That's quite the honor.
Congratulations, Kelvin.
122
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,121
- Thanks, Daddy.
123
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:14,790
- I got snubbed, too.
Fuckers.
124
00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:18,418
- It's actually called
Top Christ Following Man, Judy.
125
00:06:18,419 --> 00:06:21,880
[laughs] It's for my bravery
in starting Prism,
126
00:06:21,881 --> 00:06:25,801
for centering individuals who
are usually othered by society.
127
00:06:25,802 --> 00:06:27,803
- I don't even know
what the fuck that means.
128
00:06:27,804 --> 00:06:28,804
Big deal.
129
00:06:28,805 --> 00:06:30,138
- Bigger deal than
your Prayer Pods.
130
00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:31,807
- Oh.
- You shut up about that.
131
00:06:31,808 --> 00:06:33,308
- What are Prayer Pods?
132
00:06:33,309 --> 00:06:36,520
- Prayer Pods
are Jesse's dumbass invention
133
00:06:36,521 --> 00:06:38,814
that the church blew
a butt ton of money on.
134
00:06:38,815 --> 00:06:40,816
- Everybody's
returning them now.
135
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:43,402
It fucking sucks.
It's like, what a waste.
136
00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:44,403
- It's a big waste.
137
00:06:44,404 --> 00:06:45,946
- It was not
a fuck-up, all right?
138
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,614
We were targeted
for our beliefs.
139
00:06:47,615 --> 00:06:49,157
We were chased
out of every single airport
140
00:06:49,158 --> 00:06:50,575
and mall in the country.
- Mm-hmm.
141
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:52,411
- You know, some people want
to make fun
142
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,329
and act like people's ideas
aren't good.
143
00:06:54,330 --> 00:06:56,832
Meanwhile,
there's a goddamn war going on
144
00:06:56,833 --> 00:06:59,334
against Christianity
in this country, all right?
145
00:06:59,335 --> 00:07:01,503
The death of Prayer Pods
is the proof.
146
00:07:01,504 --> 00:07:02,671
- Uh, wrong, Jesse.
147
00:07:02,672 --> 00:07:05,507
The death of Prayer Pods,
dude, is because people
148
00:07:05,508 --> 00:07:07,300
were jacking off in them.
149
00:07:07,301 --> 00:07:09,678
They were not praying.
150
00:07:09,679 --> 00:07:12,472
Homeboy over here even stocked
them full of lotion.
151
00:07:12,473 --> 00:07:13,640
- Ew.
152
00:07:13,641 --> 00:07:15,016
- Yeah, you know,
on gay Reddit,
153
00:07:15,017 --> 00:07:16,351
they refer to them
as squirt yurts.
154
00:07:16,352 --> 00:07:17,477
- Oh!
155
00:07:17,478 --> 00:07:19,187
- For your information, I only
put the lotion in there
156
00:07:19,188 --> 00:07:20,856
to make sure that your hands
didn't get dried out
157
00:07:20,857 --> 00:07:21,982
by the sanitizer.
158
00:07:21,983 --> 00:07:24,443
- Are you all taking
a walk down goddamn memory lane
159
00:07:24,444 --> 00:07:25,694
without me?
160
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,446
- You spend so much time
in the bathroom,
161
00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:28,655
you're gonna miss out, Mama.
162
00:07:28,656 --> 00:07:30,532
- We were talking
about a business venture
163
00:07:30,533 --> 00:07:33,994
that Jesse spearheaded that
didn't-it didn't go so good
164
00:07:33,995 --> 00:07:37,581
and a big prize that Kelvin
is being honored with.
165
00:07:37,582 --> 00:07:39,875
- Show some humility
for once, okay?
166
00:07:39,876 --> 00:07:41,668
Don't be blowing kisses
at me, you little bitch.
167
00:07:41,669 --> 00:07:42,919
Fuck off.
168
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:45,297
- You guys are too funny, man.
- Yeah.
169
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,466
- The way y'all
rip on each other.
170
00:07:47,467 --> 00:07:49,301
It must be fun having siblings.
- [chuckles] Yeah.
171
00:07:49,302 --> 00:07:51,678
- Try to do it with Jana.
- Mm-hmm.
172
00:07:51,679 --> 00:07:53,180
- She don't get it.
173
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,807
Your dress is
fucking dumb, Jana.
174
00:07:55,808 --> 00:07:58,143
- Oh, wow.
- Oh!
175
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:00,395
[laughter]
- Well, no, that's just mean.
176
00:08:00,396 --> 00:08:02,022
That's not funny.
177
00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:04,191
- No, I'm just ripping,
like siblings do.
178
00:08:04,192 --> 00:08:05,859
- But I'm your wife.
179
00:08:05,860 --> 00:08:06,943
- Don't be mean.
180
00:08:06,944 --> 00:08:08,737
- Yeah, don't be mean.
- I'm not.
181
00:08:08,738 --> 00:08:10,447
I'm just ripping.
- He ain't being mean.
182
00:08:10,448 --> 00:08:12,657
He's ripping.
Rip Van Winkle. Rip, rip,
183
00:08:12,658 --> 00:08:14,409
- Let me rip on Mr. Eli.
- Okay, okay.
184
00:08:14,410 --> 00:08:15,702
- Yeah, yeah, do it, Corey.
- Should I?
185
00:08:15,703 --> 00:08:17,412
- Yes, yes.
- Do it. Do Eli.
186
00:08:17,413 --> 00:08:18,914
- Let it go on Daddy.
Do it.
187
00:08:18,915 --> 00:08:20,248
- Yeah, rip.
188
00:08:20,249 --> 00:08:22,501
- Eli, looks like you got
a little hickey on your neck.
189
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:24,085
- Oh.
- Right by the collar.
190
00:08:24,086 --> 00:08:26,713
- Oh.
- [laughs]
191
00:08:26,714 --> 00:08:27,923
- [spits]
192
00:08:27,924 --> 00:08:30,050
- Bullshit.
193
00:08:30,051 --> 00:08:32,594
- That's-that's-that's-
that's not-not a hickey.
194
00:08:32,595 --> 00:08:35,096
It's a mosquito bite.
195
00:08:35,097 --> 00:08:36,306
- [laughs]
196
00:08:36,307 --> 00:08:39,100
Corey, that was a pretty sneaky
little rip right there.
197
00:08:39,101 --> 00:08:43,438
It works because Daddy is such
a nerd who gets no action.
198
00:08:43,439 --> 00:08:44,439
- Yeah.
199
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,566
- Definitely not cool
enough to have a hickey.
200
00:08:46,567 --> 00:08:48,109
Good.
- Daddy's rizzless.
201
00:08:48,110 --> 00:08:50,904
- Yeah, he can't get within,
like, 12 miles of no pussy.
202
00:08:50,905 --> 00:08:52,113
Right, Daddy?
203
00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:55,116
- He seems pretty cool to me.
- [mouth full] He's very cool.
204
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:56,993
- He's not.
- He isn't.
205
00:08:56,994 --> 00:08:59,579
[laughter]
206
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:02,123
- Hey.
Wait a minute.
207
00:09:02,124 --> 00:09:05,877
Are those two acting weird,
or is it just me?
208
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,755
- "Weird"?
Weird how?
209
00:09:08,756 --> 00:09:10,590
- I mean, I did notice
they were taking pisses
210
00:09:10,591 --> 00:09:11,758
at the same exact time,
211
00:09:11,759 --> 00:09:13,385
but I just kind of wrote
that off
212
00:09:13,386 --> 00:09:14,970
to just typical
old-people shit.
213
00:09:14,971 --> 00:09:16,555
- Are they fucking each other?
214
00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:19,140
- [scoffs, laughing] What?
- What?
215
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:21,268
Okay.
- Corey.
216
00:09:21,269 --> 00:09:22,602
- Well, my mom
is trying to make
217
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:24,229
herself look good
all the time now,
218
00:09:24,230 --> 00:09:26,648
putting on makeup
and perfumes and stuff.
219
00:09:26,649 --> 00:09:27,983
- Ugh, that's so gross.
220
00:09:27,984 --> 00:09:29,651
Just like picture
sweet Miss Lori,
221
00:09:29,652 --> 00:09:32,487
you know, like, nude
in her bathroom,
222
00:09:32,488 --> 00:09:34,155
like, splashing on some CK1
223
00:09:34,156 --> 00:09:37,325
so she can get railed by Eli's
big old floppy daddy dick.
224
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:38,660
- Oh, God.
225
00:09:38,661 --> 00:09:41,162
- Your mama was our mama's
best friend, okay?
226
00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,998
So don't even think
those thoughts.
227
00:09:42,999 --> 00:09:44,291
Those are nasty thoughts.
228
00:09:44,292 --> 00:09:47,002
- Corey still thinking
Daddy's fucking.
229
00:09:47,003 --> 00:09:49,546
- Silly bird, Corey.
[laughter]
230
00:09:49,547 --> 00:09:51,631
Okay.
231
00:09:51,632 --> 00:09:54,676
- Daddy ain't fucking.
That's so stupid.
232
00:09:54,677 --> 00:09:55,844
- Stupid like you thinking
233
00:09:55,845 --> 00:09:59,014
you're gonna get the Top Christ
Following Man nomination.
234
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,807
- Ooh! Ooh!
235
00:10:00,808 --> 00:10:03,643
- Ha ha! Yes!
- Ooh, he's butthurt.
236
00:10:03,644 --> 00:10:06,187
- Did you see Jesse's face
when I told him
237
00:10:06,188 --> 00:10:08,523
about the Top Christ
Following Man nomination?
238
00:10:08,524 --> 00:10:10,442
The light just left his eyes.
239
00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,111
- You bested him, for sure.
- Mm-hmm.
240
00:10:13,112 --> 00:10:15,822
Could you imagine
if I actually won
241
00:10:15,823 --> 00:10:18,033
Top Christ Following Man
of the Year?
242
00:10:18,034 --> 00:10:19,451
- I can picture it now.
243
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,537
All the other nominees
have exited this mortal world,
244
00:10:22,538 --> 00:10:26,207
and it is just you,
one singular solo onstage,
245
00:10:26,208 --> 00:10:29,628
the true Top Christ
Following Man of the Year.
246
00:10:29,629 --> 00:10:31,046
- What the heck is that?
247
00:10:31,047 --> 00:10:33,632
- Well, it's just me
imagining your victory.
248
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,216
- No.
- Heads up!
249
00:10:35,217 --> 00:10:37,260
- That.
- Okay, okay!
250
00:10:37,261 --> 00:10:41,723
[indistinct shouting]
251
00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:44,225
- That storm took out
a whole side.
252
00:10:44,226 --> 00:10:46,102
It doesn't look safe.
We're gonna demo it.
253
00:10:46,103 --> 00:10:48,688
- Demolish?
254
00:10:48,689 --> 00:10:51,775
As in destroy?
As in cease to exist?
255
00:10:51,776 --> 00:10:53,068
Uh-uh.
256
00:10:53,069 --> 00:10:56,404
No, Groundskeeper Aaron, this
is my childhood tree house.
257
00:10:56,405 --> 00:10:59,908
Oh, look at you, knowing
big words like "demo."
258
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,242
I know words.
259
00:11:01,243 --> 00:11:03,912
Annihilate,
obliterate, devastate.
260
00:11:03,913 --> 00:11:05,038
- Synonyms.
261
00:11:05,039 --> 00:11:07,415
- And you can't do
any of those things
262
00:11:07,416 --> 00:11:09,501
to my childhood playscape,
all right?
263
00:11:09,502 --> 00:11:12,170
I forbid it.
264
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,338
- Sure.
265
00:11:13,339 --> 00:11:15,215
Okay, you're the boss.
266
00:11:15,216 --> 00:11:18,259
Hey, boys, don't bust it.
267
00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:19,761
He's keeping it.
268
00:11:19,762 --> 00:11:21,596
[cheering]
269
00:11:21,597 --> 00:11:23,181
- Hell, yeah.
270
00:11:23,182 --> 00:11:26,267
- I know you think my daddy
is your mentor figure,
271
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:30,438
but I think it's time you give
your old man a shot, okay?
272
00:11:30,439 --> 00:11:33,024
Mentoring begins right now.
273
00:11:33,025 --> 00:11:37,278
Greetings, salutations,
Martin, leadership team.
274
00:11:37,279 --> 00:11:39,489
How are you?
- We are fine, Jesse.
275
00:11:39,490 --> 00:11:41,908
- Now, you see how I kicked
that off with some niceties?
276
00:11:41,909 --> 00:11:43,660
I also kind of throw in a joke
sometimes
277
00:11:43,661 --> 00:11:45,787
just to keep
the spirit light, like this.
278
00:11:45,788 --> 00:11:47,664
Fuck me up, leadership team.
[chuckles]
279
00:11:47,665 --> 00:11:51,126
What sort of bad news
you gonna sling at me today?
280
00:11:51,127 --> 00:11:53,128
- Vance Simkins opened up
another church
281
00:11:53,129 --> 00:11:54,714
right next to one of ours.
282
00:11:54,773 --> 00:11:58,675
- Chad, I'm trying
to do lessons here, man.
283
00:11:58,676 --> 00:12:01,136
You sitting here spitting
bad news for real?
284
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,971
- Oh, I-I thought
you were asking.
285
00:12:02,972 --> 00:12:06,141
- Well, I am asking,
but I'm just-
286
00:12:06,142 --> 00:12:08,685
[scoffs]
Another fucking church.
287
00:12:08,686 --> 00:12:11,771
Another mini-mall
church encroachment.
288
00:12:11,772 --> 00:12:13,064
God damn it!
289
00:12:13,065 --> 00:12:14,232
Fuck!
290
00:12:14,233 --> 00:12:15,608
Shit!
291
00:12:15,609 --> 00:12:16,818
Mini mall!
292
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:18,945
Fuck!
293
00:12:18,946 --> 00:12:20,488
Pause right there.
294
00:12:20,489 --> 00:12:22,157
Now, that is not Chad's fault,
295
00:12:22,158 --> 00:12:23,950
so I cannot get angry
with Chad.
296
00:12:23,951 --> 00:12:25,827
That is called
killing the messenger.
297
00:12:25,828 --> 00:12:28,830
If I'm going to cuss
because what he said upsets me,
298
00:12:28,831 --> 00:12:31,291
it is important
I do not cuss at him.
299
00:12:31,292 --> 00:12:34,753
I can cuss around him, cuss
in the air above his head,
300
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,087
by the sides of his ears.
301
00:12:36,088 --> 00:12:37,422
That is totally fine.
302
00:12:37,423 --> 00:12:38,423
Fuck you.
303
00:12:38,424 --> 00:12:40,049
Are you writing
any of this down?
304
00:12:40,050 --> 00:12:42,469
- I feel like
I'm following just orally.
305
00:12:42,470 --> 00:12:45,013
- Okay, I mean, this is a lot
of very valuable stuff
306
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,182
I'm teaching you here,
but, yeah, sure, just wing it.
307
00:12:47,183 --> 00:12:49,350
[chuckles]
Now, I know that Matthew
308
00:12:49,351 --> 00:12:51,895
and Chad and Levi and Gregory,
309
00:12:51,896 --> 00:12:53,855
they would probably
suggest visiting
310
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:57,525
a little violence upon him.
[laughter]
311
00:12:57,526 --> 00:12:59,235
- Not a good idea.
312
00:12:59,236 --> 00:13:00,987
- Exactly.
- Oh, come on.
313
00:13:00,988 --> 00:13:02,989
- That is not how we
handle things
314
00:13:02,990 --> 00:13:04,866
now that we are
elder statesmen.
315
00:13:04,867 --> 00:13:08,328
We are respectable members
of society.
316
00:13:08,329 --> 00:13:09,871
- We are?
- Right.
317
00:13:09,872 --> 00:13:11,873
- Yes, Matthew.
Of course we are.
318
00:13:11,874 --> 00:13:14,209
Martin, what's the play?
319
00:13:14,210 --> 00:13:16,544
How you think we pop
this off this time?
320
00:13:16,545 --> 00:13:18,546
- You could visit
these churches,
321
00:13:18,547 --> 00:13:20,632
shore up the congregation,
322
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,885
give them attention
so they aren't poached.
323
00:13:23,886 --> 00:13:25,053
- That's it.
324
00:13:25,054 --> 00:13:28,848
A reasonable solution
for reasonable men.
325
00:13:28,849 --> 00:13:30,225
[chuckles]
326
00:13:30,226 --> 00:13:33,520
You're seriously not writing
any of this down?
327
00:13:33,521 --> 00:13:34,646
- No.
328
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,564
- Should we write
stuff down, too?
329
00:13:36,565 --> 00:13:38,399
- Yeah, Levi
I would love for you
330
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,819
to fill your pockets with rocks
and write all of this
331
00:13:40,820 --> 00:13:42,362
on the bottom of the ocean.
332
00:13:42,363 --> 00:13:45,406
[laughter]
333
00:13:45,407 --> 00:13:48,201
[upbeat music playing]
334
00:13:48,202 --> 00:13:50,620
- ? Jump to the right ?
335
00:13:50,621 --> 00:13:52,205
? Jump to the left ?
336
00:13:52,206 --> 00:13:54,082
? Stop ?
337
00:13:54,083 --> 00:13:57,252
- Don't you worry
about those idiots, okay?
338
00:13:57,253 --> 00:13:59,629
All you need to do
is go out there
339
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,422
and bring home the gold.
340
00:14:01,423 --> 00:14:02,675
You got this.
341
00:14:05,177 --> 00:14:07,262
both: Eye of the tiger,
dick of a horse,
342
00:14:07,263 --> 00:14:10,598
take no prisoners,
show no remorse.
343
00:14:10,599 --> 00:14:13,601
[applause, music continues]
344
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,728
? ?
345
00:14:15,729 --> 00:14:18,106
[cheering]
346
00:14:18,107 --> 00:14:21,609
[frenetic electronic music]
347
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,278
- Go, BJ!
348
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:24,696
- ? Legends live forever ?
349
00:14:24,697 --> 00:14:26,281
? Rebels never die ?
350
00:14:26,282 --> 00:14:28,074
? Live life to the fullest ?
351
00:14:28,075 --> 00:14:30,410
? Don't be afraid to die ?
352
00:14:30,411 --> 00:14:32,120
? Legends live forever ?
353
00:14:32,121 --> 00:14:34,080
? Rebels never die ?
354
00:14:34,081 --> 00:14:35,790
? Life is now or never ?
355
00:14:35,791 --> 00:14:37,542
? Never is a lie ?
356
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:39,460
? Legends live forever ?
357
00:14:39,461 --> 00:14:41,129
? Rebels never die ?
358
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:43,214
? Live life to the fullest ?
359
00:14:43,215 --> 00:14:45,258
? Don't be afraid to die ?
360
00:14:45,259 --> 00:14:47,093
? Legends live forever ?
361
00:14:47,094 --> 00:14:49,095
? Rebels never die ?
362
00:14:49,096 --> 00:14:55,977
? ?
363
00:14:55,978 --> 00:14:58,813
- Look how strong
my husband is-we're married.
364
00:14:58,814 --> 00:15:02,275
? ?
365
00:15:02,276 --> 00:15:05,153
[cheers and applause]
366
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:09,365
? ?
367
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,618
That's my man right there.
368
00:15:11,619 --> 00:15:14,329
? ?
369
00:15:14,330 --> 00:15:15,830
[audience groans]
370
00:15:15,831 --> 00:15:17,624
My darling.
371
00:15:17,625 --> 00:15:20,126
[BJ groaning]
372
00:15:20,127 --> 00:15:22,754
BJ, it's your wife, Judy.
373
00:15:22,755 --> 00:15:25,674
Somebody call
a fucking ambulance!
374
00:15:31,889 --> 00:15:34,015
- Judy.
- Finally.
375
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:36,017
- Oh, I'm so sorry.
376
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,977
- Oh, my God.
- It'll be all right.
377
00:15:37,978 --> 00:15:40,355
- Miss Lori came, too.
That's so sweet.
378
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,440
How'd you even know?
379
00:15:42,441 --> 00:15:44,359
- How did I know what?
380
00:15:44,360 --> 00:15:46,486
- Like, to come here
to see about BJ.
381
00:15:46,487 --> 00:15:50,239
- I was-I was just at...
382
00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:51,574
I was in my car.
383
00:15:51,575 --> 00:15:53,868
Yeah, just a sexless
older lady.
384
00:15:53,869 --> 00:15:55,328
- Okay.
385
00:15:55,329 --> 00:15:57,205
- And then your papa
happened to give me
386
00:15:57,206 --> 00:15:58,748
a-a ring on the phone.
387
00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:00,917
- That's so weird
because I could have sworn
388
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:04,879
I saw the two of you
show up together.
389
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:06,547
- What?
- That's right.
390
00:16:06,548 --> 00:16:09,550
No, we did,
because, uh...
391
00:16:09,551 --> 00:16:12,887
I was no longer able to drive
an automobile.
392
00:16:12,888 --> 00:16:14,180
And Mr. Gemstone-
393
00:16:14,181 --> 00:16:16,099
- None of this-none of this
is very important right now.
394
00:16:16,100 --> 00:16:17,725
- Yeah, I know, Daddy.
Thank you.
395
00:16:17,726 --> 00:16:18,851
That's what I'm thinking,
396
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:21,229
'cause I'm, like,
in a code-red crisis over here,
397
00:16:21,230 --> 00:16:23,398
and it's like, everybody's
just talking about transpo.
398
00:16:23,399 --> 00:16:25,400
No offense, Miss Lori.
I don't want to hurt you.
399
00:16:25,401 --> 00:16:27,402
- Dudes, shut up.
400
00:16:27,403 --> 00:16:28,987
BJ's gonna be A-okay.
401
00:16:28,988 --> 00:16:30,905
- Yeah, I think the thing you
got to get your head around
402
00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:32,532
is a lot of time
when people do surgeries,
403
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:33,825
they got to shave ya.
404
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,702
So probably gonna have
to pop that mustache off him,
405
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:36,744
you know?
406
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:38,746
Make sure his face doesn't
get any weird infections
407
00:16:38,747 --> 00:16:39,998
or gonorrheas.
408
00:16:39,999 --> 00:16:42,750
- You motherfucker, Jesse.
409
00:16:42,751 --> 00:16:45,086
BJ's in there fighting
for his damn life,
410
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:47,422
and you're out here trying
to gank his style for your own.
411
00:16:47,423 --> 00:16:49,215
- Ain't nobody trying
to gank nobody's style.
412
00:16:49,216 --> 00:16:50,591
I'm trying to cheer you up.
413
00:16:50,592 --> 00:16:52,218
I'm saying, worst-case
scenario, you know,
414
00:16:52,219 --> 00:16:53,720
he loses his mustache.
415
00:16:53,721 --> 00:16:55,763
It's probably the best thing
for anybody, anyway.
416
00:16:55,764 --> 00:16:57,765
- You are trying to drink
his facial fashions.
417
00:16:57,766 --> 00:16:59,559
Trying to fucking guzzle him.
418
00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:01,227
- Stop trying to act
like fucking BJ
419
00:17:01,228 --> 00:17:02,770
trademarked fucking mustaches.
420
00:17:02,771 --> 00:17:04,814
News flash-he didn't.
- You damn bitch.
421
00:17:04,815 --> 00:17:07,442
You damn bitch.
422
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:10,778
[exhales sharply]
Here's the doctors.
423
00:17:10,779 --> 00:17:13,489
[somber music]
424
00:17:13,490 --> 00:17:18,244
? ?
425
00:17:18,245 --> 00:17:19,996
- I'm so sorry.
426
00:17:19,997 --> 00:17:22,582
? ?
427
00:17:22,583 --> 00:17:24,917
- I was so close.
[door opens]
428
00:17:24,918 --> 00:17:27,712
[footsteps approaching]
I misjudged my spin speed.
429
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:29,464
- Just relax, okay?
430
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:32,551
You don't need to do pole math
right now.
431
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:38,723
[cries, sniffles]
432
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:41,559
- Don't cry.
I'll be okay.
433
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,896
- I'm sorry, but I don't know.
434
00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,981
BJ, the nurses are-
435
00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,275
they're saying stuff
about wheelchairs,
436
00:17:49,276 --> 00:17:52,528
and one of them even
was talking about stair lifts,
437
00:17:52,529 --> 00:17:56,282
like Mrs. Deagle has
in "Gremlins."
438
00:17:56,283 --> 00:17:58,868
What are we gonna do, Beej?
439
00:17:58,869 --> 00:18:01,871
[dramatic music]
440
00:18:01,872 --> 00:18:09,004
? ?
441
00:18:15,385 --> 00:18:18,012
[upbeat electronic music]
442
00:18:18,013 --> 00:18:25,062
? ?
443
00:18:40,577 --> 00:18:43,830
- Jesse, did you hear?
444
00:18:43,831 --> 00:18:45,123
Vance was nominated
445
00:18:45,124 --> 00:18:47,291
for Top Christ Following
Man of the Year.
446
00:18:47,292 --> 00:18:48,292
- Big whoop.
447
00:18:48,293 --> 00:18:50,545
- Well, it is
a big whoop, Jesse.
448
00:18:50,546 --> 00:18:54,257
I thought I'd at least be going
up against you.
449
00:18:54,258 --> 00:18:56,551
But I guess
your homosexual brother
450
00:18:56,552 --> 00:19:00,513
is the Gemstone
with the juice these days.
451
00:19:00,514 --> 00:19:03,099
Well, I look forward
to wiping my ass with him.
452
00:19:03,100 --> 00:19:06,060
- Gross, man.
I'm trying to eat.
453
00:19:06,061 --> 00:19:09,063
- Apparently quails
aren't the only thing
454
00:19:09,064 --> 00:19:10,398
dropping out of the sky.
455
00:19:10,399 --> 00:19:12,733
I hear a Gemstone took a fall.
456
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:15,862
Your brother-in-law-
he hurt himself pretty bad.
457
00:19:15,863 --> 00:19:19,240
Word on the street
is he was stripping.
458
00:19:19,241 --> 00:19:21,242
[laughter]
459
00:19:21,243 --> 00:19:23,953
- He was doing
male competitive pole dancing,
460
00:19:23,954 --> 00:19:25,329
for your information.
461
00:19:25,330 --> 00:19:28,749
- How many homosexuals does
that make in your family now?
462
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:30,543
- Two.
463
00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:35,423
The same number of dead parents
in your family, Vance.
464
00:19:35,424 --> 00:19:37,925
[laughs]
Boom.
465
00:19:37,926 --> 00:19:40,261
Conquered again.
466
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,597
- You haven't conquered me.
467
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:46,100
You're actually losing
in our rivalry...
468
00:19:46,101 --> 00:19:48,436
- [scoffs]
- Due to your poor character.
469
00:19:48,437 --> 00:19:50,104
- Pssh.
Get real.
470
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,106
I ain't losing our rivalry.
471
00:19:52,107 --> 00:19:54,400
You're losing.
I'm doing the winning.
472
00:19:54,401 --> 00:19:56,027
[chuckles]
- Oh, really?
473
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:57,820
Well, that's interesting.
- [laughs]
474
00:19:57,821 --> 00:20:00,615
- I guess that's why I opened
up six churches
475
00:20:00,616 --> 00:20:02,617
in your backyard.
476
00:20:02,618 --> 00:20:04,952
- That's because
you're playing games, boy.
477
00:20:04,953 --> 00:20:06,787
Opening up mini-mall churches
in towns
478
00:20:06,788 --> 00:20:09,248
we've already established-
you better knock it off.
479
00:20:09,249 --> 00:20:12,001
- Afraid of a little
competition, Jesse?
480
00:20:12,002 --> 00:20:13,002
- Pssh.
481
00:20:13,003 --> 00:20:15,338
- Just because there's
a McDonald's in town
482
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:19,175
don't mean there ain't room
for a Burger King.
483
00:20:19,176 --> 00:20:20,426
- You know what?
484
00:20:20,427 --> 00:20:22,970
Go ahead.
Open up those churches.
485
00:20:22,971 --> 00:20:24,430
Waste your money.
486
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:26,432
I'll shut those suckers down,
487
00:20:26,433 --> 00:20:28,434
turn them into giant bathrooms
488
00:20:28,435 --> 00:20:31,062
where people that go to my
church can go in to make poops.
489
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:34,232
- Bathrooms are what you've
turned your churches into,
490
00:20:34,233 --> 00:20:36,442
with that filth
your brother's been preaching.
491
00:20:36,443 --> 00:20:39,487
It's what your church
is becoming known for.
492
00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,448
Does that bother you?
- No.
493
00:20:42,449 --> 00:20:44,242
Absolutely not...
494
00:20:44,243 --> 00:20:46,452
because that is not
what my church is known for.
495
00:20:46,453 --> 00:20:49,497
My church is known for
the stuff that I do as well.
496
00:20:49,498 --> 00:20:53,960
- Keep telling
yourself that, Jesse.
497
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:56,963
[angelic music]
498
00:20:56,964 --> 00:21:01,008
? ?
499
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:03,469
Oh, my.
500
00:21:03,470 --> 00:21:06,347
Oh, it's getting very serious
in here, isn't it?
501
00:21:06,348 --> 00:21:09,183
- You think I'm intimidated
by the circling of the men?
502
00:21:09,184 --> 00:21:11,060
- You should be.
- Well, I'm not.
503
00:21:11,061 --> 00:21:13,854
I can circle the men, too.
504
00:21:13,855 --> 00:21:17,191
? ?
505
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:19,485
- Oh, my.
506
00:21:19,486 --> 00:21:21,696
- It's not a big deal.
507
00:21:21,697 --> 00:21:24,490
- Okay, any fly-aways?
How are my teeth?
508
00:21:24,491 --> 00:21:27,493
- Show is live in 5, 4, 3...
509
00:21:27,494 --> 00:21:29,203
- All right.
- All right.
510
00:21:29,204 --> 00:21:31,205
- Hello, brothers and sisters.
511
00:21:31,206 --> 00:21:34,125
It's your old friend
in Christ Jacob Jones.
512
00:21:34,126 --> 00:21:36,502
And tonight we announce
the nominees
513
00:21:36,503 --> 00:21:39,297
for the Top Christ Following
Man of the Year.
514
00:21:39,298 --> 00:21:40,548
- Whoo!
515
00:21:40,549 --> 00:21:43,217
- We've picked five ministers
from around the world
516
00:21:43,218 --> 00:21:46,637
who represent
the best of the best.
517
00:21:46,638 --> 00:21:48,389
- That's a pretty big deal.
518
00:21:48,390 --> 00:21:49,724
- Through a series of events,
519
00:21:49,725 --> 00:21:51,851
they shall compete
against one another
520
00:21:51,852 --> 00:21:56,897
to determine who is the one
true Top Christ Following Man.
521
00:21:56,898 --> 00:21:58,399
- Okay, okay.
522
00:21:58,400 --> 00:21:59,734
They're about
to announce your boy.
523
00:21:59,735 --> 00:22:00,735
Bring the energy.
524
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,570
- Church in Reno, Nevada,
525
00:22:02,571 --> 00:22:04,238
a man dedicated to-
526
00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:05,906
- Oh, that's not you.
- This is not me.
527
00:22:05,907 --> 00:22:07,033
This is not me.
528
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:11,537
- Put your hands together
for Reggie Daniels.
529
00:22:11,538 --> 00:22:14,081
- I'm your
Top Christ Following Man.
530
00:22:14,082 --> 00:22:16,250
Blessings be to God.
531
00:22:16,251 --> 00:22:18,294
- Paid extras.
Paid extras.
532
00:22:18,295 --> 00:22:19,712
Don't-don't applaud.
533
00:22:19,713 --> 00:22:22,089
- From Rogers,
South Carolina...
534
00:22:22,090 --> 00:22:24,633
- I'm next, okay?
A lot of energy.
535
00:22:24,634 --> 00:22:26,594
But act like I didn't tell you.
536
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:29,096
- And impressive man...
537
00:22:29,097 --> 00:22:31,265
Kelvin Gemstone.
538
00:22:31,266 --> 00:22:34,352
[cheers and applause]
- Wow.
539
00:22:34,353 --> 00:22:37,104
Thank you.
Oh, my God.
540
00:22:37,105 --> 00:22:40,274
[celebratory music playing]
541
00:22:40,275 --> 00:22:47,365
? ?
542
00:22:47,366 --> 00:22:49,200
- I'll come up
with something else.
543
00:22:49,201 --> 00:22:52,036
I got a shitload
of different great ideas
544
00:22:52,037 --> 00:22:54,205
for money inventions, like-
545
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:56,791
I have, like, so many other
ideas that will be successful,
546
00:22:56,792 --> 00:22:58,042
I bet.
547
00:22:58,043 --> 00:23:00,961
- Oh, Jesse, just because your
brother is doing big things
548
00:23:00,962 --> 00:23:02,296
shouldn't make you feel bad.
549
00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:03,964
- It feels like
I just finally got out
550
00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:05,966
from underneath
my damn daddy's shadow,
551
00:23:05,967 --> 00:23:08,177
and now my younger brother
decides he wants to start
552
00:23:08,178 --> 00:23:10,638
casting fucking shadows.
553
00:23:10,639 --> 00:23:14,308
Got a family full
of damn shadow casters.
554
00:23:14,309 --> 00:23:17,311
[somber music]
555
00:23:17,312 --> 00:23:24,444
? ?
556
00:23:35,497 --> 00:23:37,623
- What are you looking at?
557
00:23:37,624 --> 00:23:40,626
What the fuck
are you looking at?
558
00:23:40,627 --> 00:23:43,671
I'll wipe that fucking smirk
right off your face, white boy.
559
00:23:43,672 --> 00:23:45,673
- [groans]
560
00:23:45,674 --> 00:23:52,764
? ?
561
00:23:52,931 --> 00:23:57,017
- They're over there trying
to laugh at you
562
00:23:57,018 --> 00:23:58,644
because you're in a wheelchair.
563
00:23:58,645 --> 00:24:00,688
I won't fucking have it.
564
00:24:00,689 --> 00:24:02,857
You know what I'm saying?
I'll fuck them up.
565
00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:05,651
We're just gonna get you up
out of this.
566
00:24:05,652 --> 00:24:08,404
- [groaning]
567
00:24:08,405 --> 00:24:11,073
- Okay, good, Beej.
[grunts forcefully]
568
00:24:11,074 --> 00:24:14,034
That's good, BJ.
This is so easy.
569
00:24:14,035 --> 00:24:15,703
[both grunting]
570
00:24:15,704 --> 00:24:18,247
This is gonna be
a cinch for us.
571
00:24:18,248 --> 00:24:20,833
[grunts]
572
00:24:20,834 --> 00:24:21,876
[laughter]
573
00:24:21,877 --> 00:24:24,044
- Smelled like cat piss.
574
00:24:24,045 --> 00:24:25,546
- Damn it to hell.
575
00:24:25,547 --> 00:24:27,548
- That's okay, Beej.
- I'm sorry.
576
00:24:27,549 --> 00:24:30,092
- No, don't worry, dude.
- Thank you, Keefe.
577
00:24:30,093 --> 00:24:32,052
- No one's judging
you for spilling.
578
00:24:32,053 --> 00:24:35,431
- Can everyone just talk and
eat like every Sunday, please?
579
00:24:35,432 --> 00:24:37,141
I don't want pity.
580
00:24:37,142 --> 00:24:40,060
- Shut the fuck up, Hot Wheels.
You said treat you like normal.
581
00:24:40,061 --> 00:24:41,812
[laughter]
582
00:24:41,813 --> 00:24:42,897
- Yes.
- Master of rips.
583
00:24:42,898 --> 00:24:44,982
- Rip, rip!
- Fuck y'all!
584
00:24:44,983 --> 00:24:47,985
BJ's in a wheelchair.
I don't know if you noticed.
585
00:24:47,986 --> 00:24:49,904
- It's kind of hard to miss.
- Stop being monsters, then.
586
00:24:49,905 --> 00:24:51,489
- No one's acting
like monsters.
587
00:24:51,490 --> 00:24:52,907
We're sitting here
having conversations.
588
00:24:52,908 --> 00:24:54,533
- You are acting
like monsters, Jesse.
589
00:24:54,534 --> 00:24:56,076
- Okay, well, I won't have
conversations, okay?
590
00:24:56,077 --> 00:24:57,495
Since you're the boss
of conversations.
591
00:24:57,496 --> 00:24:59,663
- Okay, seriously.
What's up?
592
00:24:59,664 --> 00:25:01,499
I keep seeing looks.
593
00:25:01,500 --> 00:25:03,709
- "Looks"?
594
00:25:03,710 --> 00:25:06,504
- What looks?
- Eli and my mama.
595
00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:09,465
They're doing looks.
- They're doing looks?
596
00:25:09,466 --> 00:25:10,549
- Daddy, Miss Lori, if y'all
are laughing
597
00:25:10,550 --> 00:25:13,719
'cause BJ is in a wheelchair
at the table
598
00:25:13,720 --> 00:25:16,263
instead of a regular chair,
I'm gonna flip my shit.
599
00:25:16,264 --> 00:25:17,890
- That is funny.
- No, it's not.
600
00:25:17,891 --> 00:25:20,935
- Oh, what's up? We standing up
doing speeches now?
601
00:25:20,936 --> 00:25:22,770
- All right, I have
struggled telling y'all this.
602
00:25:22,771 --> 00:25:25,314
There never seemed
to be a good time.
603
00:25:25,315 --> 00:25:27,650
There's certainly
more important things going on,
604
00:25:27,651 --> 00:25:29,735
but, uh...
605
00:25:29,736 --> 00:25:31,946
it's silly to keep hiding this.
606
00:25:31,947 --> 00:25:34,281
Miss Lori and I have been
spending time together.
607
00:25:34,282 --> 00:25:35,908
- Duh, Daddy.
608
00:25:35,909 --> 00:25:38,994
We're all spending time
together-it's lunch.
609
00:25:38,995 --> 00:25:42,873
- No, Kelvin, honey, I think
what your daddy meant to say-
610
00:25:42,874 --> 00:25:44,960
- You're fucking him,
aren't you?
611
00:25:49,464 --> 00:25:51,924
- Wait, is that
what's going on?
612
00:25:51,925 --> 00:25:53,759
- Do you have confirmation
of that, Daddy?
613
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:54,760
- That's not what's going on.
614
00:25:54,761 --> 00:25:56,136
There's no confirmation
on that.
615
00:25:56,137 --> 00:25:57,638
Say it, Daddy.
Say the real thing.
616
00:25:57,639 --> 00:25:59,431
- It's true.
617
00:25:59,432 --> 00:26:02,434
[dramatic music]
618
00:26:02,435 --> 00:26:04,979
- I lost my appetite.
- Oh.
619
00:26:04,980 --> 00:26:07,106
- No offense, Gemstones.
620
00:26:07,107 --> 00:26:09,275
I blame this on my mama.
621
00:26:09,276 --> 00:26:11,443
Can't stop falling
in love all the time.
622
00:26:11,444 --> 00:26:13,654
- You are way
out of line, buddy.
623
00:26:13,655 --> 00:26:15,197
- Am I?
624
00:26:15,198 --> 00:26:17,700
? ?
625
00:26:17,701 --> 00:26:19,785
Let's go, Jana.
626
00:26:19,786 --> 00:26:20,995
- Okay.
627
00:26:20,996 --> 00:26:23,372
Bye, Gemstones.
Bye.
628
00:26:23,373 --> 00:26:27,042
- That's Mama's
best friend, Daddy.
629
00:26:27,043 --> 00:26:28,335
Really?
630
00:26:28,336 --> 00:26:30,546
- I can't believe you would do
this to me, Daddy,
631
00:26:30,547 --> 00:26:32,548
with the fucking
state my husband's in.
632
00:26:32,549 --> 00:26:35,467
He's an invalid,
in case you didn't notice.
633
00:26:35,468 --> 00:26:38,012
- Did you guys do stuff?
634
00:26:38,013 --> 00:26:40,347
- That's none of your business.
- Oh, my God.
635
00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:43,350
This is like
horror-movie shit, dude.
636
00:26:43,351 --> 00:26:45,769
I thought you were
my mama's ride-or-die.
637
00:26:45,770 --> 00:26:47,521
- I was, Judy.
638
00:26:47,522 --> 00:26:49,273
And she was mine, too.
639
00:26:49,274 --> 00:26:52,359
- It's okay, sweetheart.
- [crying] I don't-
640
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:54,111
- There, there, sweet prince.
641
00:26:54,112 --> 00:26:56,155
- Are they crying?
642
00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:59,033
- Of course they are.
643
00:26:59,034 --> 00:27:00,492
Daddy, you slut!
644
00:27:00,493 --> 00:27:02,328
- Baby, it's okay to be upset.
645
00:27:02,329 --> 00:27:03,621
- I'm not upset.
- Okay.
646
00:27:03,622 --> 00:27:05,539
- They're the ones
that are crying, not me.
647
00:27:05,540 --> 00:27:07,666
- Jesse, you're
fucking crying, too.
648
00:27:07,667 --> 00:27:09,668
- [crying]
I am not.
649
00:27:09,669 --> 00:27:16,050
? ?
650
00:27:16,051 --> 00:27:19,053
[chair banging against table]
651
00:27:19,054 --> 00:27:21,055
? ?
652
00:27:21,056 --> 00:27:22,349
- Oh, God.
653
00:27:24,517 --> 00:27:27,728
- Let me guess.
[muffled shouting]
654
00:27:27,729 --> 00:27:29,438
all: [muffled]
He's fucking her!
655
00:27:29,439 --> 00:27:32,441
He's fucking her!
He's fucking-
656
00:27:32,442 --> 00:27:34,610
- [pounding on door]
Come out of there!
657
00:27:34,611 --> 00:27:37,029
You can't hide in the freezer
at Jason's Steak House.
658
00:27:37,030 --> 00:27:39,573
Come out!
659
00:27:39,574 --> 00:27:41,033
Come out of there!
660
00:27:41,034 --> 00:27:43,077
What the hell's
the matter with y'all?
661
00:27:43,078 --> 00:27:45,245
- What the hell's the matter
with you, dirty old Daddy?
662
00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:47,706
- Mama is flipping
in her grave!
663
00:27:47,707 --> 00:27:49,416
[door closes]
- What do you want from me?
664
00:27:49,417 --> 00:27:52,419
What do you want from me?
665
00:27:52,420 --> 00:27:54,213
Am I supposed
to stay all alone?
666
00:27:54,214 --> 00:27:55,839
Am I supposed to stay sad?
667
00:27:55,840 --> 00:28:00,678
Am I supposed to live the rest
of my life in mourning?
668
00:28:00,679 --> 00:28:02,262
- Yes!
669
00:28:02,263 --> 00:28:04,264
Is it so hard?
670
00:28:04,265 --> 00:28:06,684
- If I could have...
671
00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:09,269
anything in this world,
672
00:28:09,270 --> 00:28:13,899
I'd have your mama
back alive with me.
673
00:28:13,900 --> 00:28:17,111
Oh, God, I'd...
674
00:28:17,112 --> 00:28:19,905
give anything for that.
675
00:28:19,906 --> 00:28:21,281
But...
676
00:28:21,282 --> 00:28:24,827
I can never have that again.
677
00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:28,997
I can never have that again,
and it just-
678
00:28:28,998 --> 00:28:32,918
[crying] I've been-
I've been so lonely.
679
00:28:32,919 --> 00:28:35,838
[crying]
680
00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:38,924
I wish you could understand.
681
00:28:38,925 --> 00:28:41,677
[sniffles]
Please try to understand.
682
00:28:41,678 --> 00:28:45,431
[somber music]
683
00:28:45,432 --> 00:28:48,308
- I'm, uh, sorry that
I called you a slut, Daddy.
684
00:28:48,309 --> 00:28:50,310
- We didn't mean
to upset you, Daddy.
685
00:28:50,311 --> 00:28:52,312
- It was just "heat
of the moment" stuff, Daddy.
686
00:28:52,313 --> 00:28:53,981
- We got a lot going on.
687
00:28:53,982 --> 00:29:01,114
? ?
688
00:29:14,711 --> 00:29:16,336
- [sighs]
689
00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:19,548
We're all so powerless.
690
00:29:19,549 --> 00:29:23,010
Anything can happen.
691
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:25,179
- I won't let anything
happen to you.
692
00:29:25,180 --> 00:29:28,557
- The Lord can make bad things
happen to anyone, Keefe.
693
00:29:28,558 --> 00:29:31,560
[light dynamic music]
694
00:29:31,561 --> 00:29:34,521
He killed my mama, and she
was His greatest follower.
695
00:29:34,522 --> 00:29:39,193
? ?
696
00:29:39,194 --> 00:29:43,155
Back in the day, when Jesse
and Judy were mean to me,
697
00:29:43,156 --> 00:29:47,201
I'd come up here and know
that no one could get me.
698
00:29:47,202 --> 00:29:49,369
This place made me feel safe.
699
00:29:49,370 --> 00:29:56,503
? ?
700
00:30:03,551 --> 00:30:06,512
[serious music]
701
00:30:06,513 --> 00:30:12,059
? ?
702
00:30:12,060 --> 00:30:15,062
[crowd cheering]
703
00:30:15,063 --> 00:30:22,195
? ?
704
00:30:23,196 --> 00:30:25,531
- Business is open.
Come on in.
705
00:30:25,532 --> 00:30:32,455
? ?
706
00:30:34,916 --> 00:30:36,792
- Thank you!
Thank you!
707
00:30:36,793 --> 00:30:40,462
Commitment-
we commit to Him and His ways.
708
00:30:40,463 --> 00:30:43,924
And in doing so,
that will be what takes us
709
00:30:43,925 --> 00:30:46,051
into the Kingdom of Heaven,
710
00:30:46,052 --> 00:30:50,097
reunited with everybody
we ever loved,
711
00:30:50,098 --> 00:30:52,015
everybody we ever lost,
712
00:30:52,016 --> 00:30:56,854
to live for eternity
surrounded by love.
713
00:30:56,855 --> 00:30:59,439
Now, we want
to deliver you there.
714
00:30:59,440 --> 00:31:03,694
We are committed
to doing just that.
715
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,696
All we ask in return
716
00:31:05,697 --> 00:31:10,284
is that you commit to us,
commit to this church.
717
00:31:10,285 --> 00:31:14,037
all: Amen!
[applause]
718
00:31:14,038 --> 00:31:16,582
- Now, don't be led astray
by some new church
719
00:31:16,583 --> 00:31:18,625
that wants to set up shop,
720
00:31:18,626 --> 00:31:21,628
presenting itself like
it's some new little treat.
721
00:31:21,629 --> 00:31:25,674
Beware of the wannabe...
722
00:31:25,675 --> 00:31:28,677
trying to make you think
they got your best interest
723
00:31:28,678 --> 00:31:30,345
at heart.
724
00:31:30,346 --> 00:31:31,930
Be warned.
725
00:31:31,931 --> 00:31:34,474
? ?
726
00:31:34,475 --> 00:31:36,685
Gemstone Ministries-
727
00:31:36,686 --> 00:31:39,813
that is a name
that you can trust.
728
00:31:39,814 --> 00:31:42,941
That is a name
that you know will fulfill
729
00:31:42,942 --> 00:31:44,985
all of your spiritual needs.
730
00:31:44,986 --> 00:31:48,030
There ain't nothing
you're gonna get out there
731
00:31:48,031 --> 00:31:51,825
that's gonna match what you're
getting right here, right now.
732
00:31:51,826 --> 00:31:53,952
[indistinct shouting]
733
00:31:53,953 --> 00:31:55,829
We are good, honest people...
734
00:31:55,830 --> 00:31:57,122
[people whooping]
735
00:31:57,123 --> 00:32:00,125
Out here doing
the Lord's work.
736
00:32:00,126 --> 00:32:04,171
And when you join us,
when you worship with us...
737
00:32:04,172 --> 00:32:06,673
[laughter, shouting, whooping]
738
00:32:06,674 --> 00:32:09,343
You become a part
of our family.
739
00:32:09,344 --> 00:32:13,180
And family,
my friends, is forever.
740
00:32:13,181 --> 00:32:16,642
And no matter what, we never
turn our back on family.
741
00:32:16,643 --> 00:32:23,733
? ?
742
00:32:24,901 --> 00:32:28,737
That is our Gemstone commitment
743
00:32:28,738 --> 00:32:30,198
to you.
744
00:32:36,579 --> 00:32:39,539
[dramatic music]
745
00:32:39,540 --> 00:32:42,542
? ?
746
00:32:42,543 --> 00:32:45,545
[thunder rumbling]
747
00:32:45,546 --> 00:32:52,679
? ?
748
00:33:24,460 --> 00:33:26,420
[thunder rumbles]
749
00:33:26,421 --> 00:33:33,511
? ?
750
00:34:03,666 --> 00:34:06,711
[bright tone]
751
00:34:06,761 --> 00:34:11,311
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
52835
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof