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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,441 --> 00:00:10,184 - Previously on "Resident Alien." 2 00:00:10,227 --> 00:00:12,229 - Stranded on an alien planet. 3 00:00:12,273 --> 00:00:14,971 In order to survive and complete my mission, 4 00:00:15,015 --> 00:00:17,278 I would have to somehow fit in with the human life forms. 5 00:00:21,499 --> 00:00:23,632 - Dr. Harry Vanderspeigle? 6 00:00:23,675 --> 00:00:25,199 We had a murder in town last night. 7 00:00:25,242 --> 00:00:27,264 We need you to come down and take a look at the body. 8 00:00:27,288 --> 00:00:29,899 - What the mother hell? - You're not dead. 9 00:00:29,942 --> 00:00:31,553 - Asta's the nurse. 10 00:00:33,207 --> 00:00:34,207 - It's the new doctor. 11 00:00:35,383 --> 00:00:37,863 He's an alien. - Wait, an alien? 12 00:00:37,907 --> 00:00:40,083 What the hell are you teaching this kid, huh? 13 00:00:46,220 --> 00:00:47,830 - One mistake. 14 00:00:47,873 --> 00:00:51,616 Just one mistake made out of necessity for survival. 15 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:53,140 I had no choice 16 00:00:53,183 --> 00:00:56,012 but to kill the human known as Harry Vanderspeigle. 17 00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,232 I was just defending myself. 18 00:00:58,275 --> 00:00:59,494 How was I supposed to know 19 00:00:59,537 --> 00:01:01,148 when I threw him on top of the ice 20 00:01:01,191 --> 00:01:02,888 he would disappear into the lake? 21 00:01:02,932 --> 00:01:04,542 I am an alien. 22 00:01:04,586 --> 00:01:08,372 I don't know every little detail about how Earth works. 23 00:01:08,416 --> 00:01:11,245 Everything will be fine. 24 00:01:11,288 --> 00:01:15,205 I just need to find that body before someone else does. 25 00:01:35,617 --> 00:01:40,404 Another example of humans being weak and inefficient. 26 00:01:40,448 --> 00:01:41,666 Their bodies must shut down 27 00:01:41,710 --> 00:01:43,407 for eight hours every single day, 28 00:01:43,451 --> 00:01:45,148 or they don't work properly. 29 00:01:46,802 --> 00:01:50,110 Please be 6:00 a.m. Please be 6:00 a.m. 30 00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:54,418 So much to do. 31 00:01:54,462 --> 00:01:58,727 I have to find that body in the lake, find my device, 32 00:01:58,770 --> 00:02:01,599 the pieces of my ship that broke off over the mountains, 33 00:02:01,643 --> 00:02:03,688 I have to kill that kid... 34 00:02:03,732 --> 00:02:05,516 Mm, almost forgot about that. 35 00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,997 Exterminate the human race. 36 00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:09,999 Milk, gotta get milk. 37 00:02:10,042 --> 00:02:11,783 Don't forget the milk. 38 00:02:11,827 --> 00:02:13,176 Maybe some cereal. 39 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,786 If I can't sleep, 40 00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,963 I can at least learn to be a better doctor. 41 00:02:18,007 --> 00:02:19,487 Circumcision. 42 00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:22,142 What is that, eye surgery? Click. 43 00:02:25,536 --> 00:02:27,712 They are a savage people. 44 00:02:36,243 --> 00:02:38,680 Refreshed. 45 00:02:38,723 --> 00:02:42,336 Plenty of energy to climb a mountain. 46 00:02:47,036 --> 00:02:48,883 - Did you know that Chinese restaurant next to the theater 47 00:02:48,907 --> 00:02:49,995 is shutting down? 48 00:02:50,039 --> 00:02:51,997 No way. 49 00:02:52,041 --> 00:02:54,652 I love that place. 50 00:02:54,696 --> 00:02:57,829 - Yeah, Mrs. Lee accusedher husband of cheating. 51 00:02:57,873 --> 00:03:00,963 I guess they're splitting up. - What? 52 00:03:01,006 --> 00:03:03,226 They're such a great couple. 53 00:03:03,270 --> 00:03:05,054 It's probably a misunderstanding. 54 00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:07,056 I'll talk to her. 55 00:03:07,099 --> 00:03:09,798 - I hear someone wants to turn it into a gourmet pizza joint. 56 00:03:09,841 --> 00:03:11,495 - On the other hand, 57 00:03:11,539 --> 00:03:14,846 he was handsy with the ladies, so. 58 00:03:14,890 --> 00:03:16,544 She's gotta do what she's gotta do. 59 00:03:18,415 --> 00:03:22,202 Right. You throw high, I'll throw low? 60 00:03:22,245 --> 00:03:25,117 Spinner's on. - Spinner's on. 61 00:03:25,161 --> 00:03:29,034 - Safety off. - Safety off. 62 00:03:29,078 --> 00:03:32,212 - Three, two, one, pull. 63 00:03:39,262 --> 00:03:41,221 Nice hook shot. 64 00:03:41,264 --> 00:03:42,570 - Ball is life. 65 00:03:42,613 --> 00:03:44,659 - Yeah, say that again. 66 00:03:44,702 --> 00:03:46,878 - Ball is life. - No, don't... 67 00:03:46,922 --> 00:03:49,403 Don't say it twi... - Ball is life. 68 00:03:49,446 --> 00:03:51,013 - You always do that. 69 00:03:57,846 --> 00:04:01,328 This is the third piece of my ship that I've found. 70 00:04:01,371 --> 00:04:03,852 My device has to be nearby. 71 00:04:37,712 --> 00:04:39,496 I'm not alone up here. 72 00:04:39,540 --> 00:04:43,631 This is bad. 73 00:04:43,674 --> 00:04:45,589 I just felt my rear iris pucker 74 00:04:45,633 --> 00:04:47,678 and my testicles tighten. 75 00:04:47,722 --> 00:04:50,115 My taint remains unchanged. 76 00:04:52,422 --> 00:04:54,642 That avalanche covering my search area 77 00:04:54,685 --> 00:04:57,993 has set me back at least a week. 78 00:04:58,036 --> 00:05:01,518 These humans think they can constantly thwart my plans. 79 00:05:01,562 --> 00:05:02,563 Well, no more. 80 00:05:08,003 --> 00:05:10,788 This is some bullshit! 81 00:05:15,010 --> 00:05:20,972 - Hi, I'm Kate Hawthorne. My husband is Ben, the mayor. 82 00:05:22,409 --> 00:05:25,499 - I met him. He smells like soap. 83 00:05:25,542 --> 00:05:28,676 - Yeah, that's him. 84 00:05:28,719 --> 00:05:31,635 My son ran out of your office a few days ago. 85 00:05:31,679 --> 00:05:34,769 Can I come in? Please? 86 00:05:34,812 --> 00:05:36,814 - Yes, just one minute. - Oh, o... 87 00:05:55,529 --> 00:05:57,400 I need to talk to you about something. 88 00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:58,749 - Hm? 89 00:05:58,793 --> 00:06:01,361 - My son Max told me you're an alien. 90 00:06:03,493 --> 00:06:04,973 - What's that, then? 91 00:06:05,016 --> 00:06:08,237 - He also told me that you broke into his bedroom 92 00:06:08,280 --> 00:06:11,022 and tried to kill him. 93 00:06:12,633 --> 00:06:14,112 - That's interesting. 94 00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:16,724 - What is wrong with him? 95 00:06:16,767 --> 00:06:20,292 Why is he making things up? 96 00:06:20,336 --> 00:06:22,599 - You think he's lying. - Of course he's lying. 97 00:06:22,643 --> 00:06:25,210 You're obviously not an alien. 98 00:06:26,690 --> 00:06:29,606 I'm so embarrassed that he ran out of the clinic. 99 00:06:31,434 --> 00:06:33,523 I'm sorry to bother you. 100 00:06:33,567 --> 00:06:37,527 I normally talk to Sam about this stuff, but he's... 101 00:06:37,571 --> 00:06:38,528 Well, you know. 102 00:06:38,572 --> 00:06:41,401 - He's dead. 103 00:06:41,444 --> 00:06:42,750 - Yeah. 104 00:06:42,793 --> 00:06:44,665 - Well, you don't have anything to worry about. 105 00:06:44,708 --> 00:06:46,884 I'm not an alien. 106 00:06:46,928 --> 00:06:50,148 Unfortunately. I hear they're pretty cool. 107 00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:53,108 Thank you for coming over. 108 00:06:53,151 --> 00:06:55,719 - It's just... I can't get my son off of this. 109 00:06:55,763 --> 00:06:58,243 And it's not just the stories, he's... 110 00:06:58,287 --> 00:07:00,724 He's drawn pictures. 111 00:07:00,768 --> 00:07:05,555 Lots and lots of pictures. Look at them. 112 00:07:05,599 --> 00:07:07,427 They're disturbing. 113 00:07:07,470 --> 00:07:10,038 And that alien? I mean... 114 00:07:10,081 --> 00:07:13,781 He even convinced the deputy to draw this. 115 00:07:13,824 --> 00:07:16,914 Look at this, it's disgusting. 116 00:07:16,958 --> 00:07:19,090 Makes me want to throw up just looking at it. 117 00:07:19,134 --> 00:07:22,224 - Some people think humans are ugly. 118 00:07:22,267 --> 00:07:23,573 - I just don't know what to do. 119 00:07:23,617 --> 00:07:25,357 Max won't sleep, he won't eat, 120 00:07:25,401 --> 00:07:29,057 and frankly, he is driving me crazy. 121 00:07:29,100 --> 00:07:31,625 You're a doctor. 122 00:07:31,668 --> 00:07:34,018 Is there anything that we can do? 123 00:07:35,542 --> 00:07:37,500 - Move. 124 00:07:37,544 --> 00:07:39,720 - What? - Far away from here. 125 00:07:39,763 --> 00:07:42,462 A new school, a new life. 126 00:07:42,505 --> 00:07:46,422 If Max knows that he is never setting a foot in Colorado 127 00:07:46,466 --> 00:07:47,704 or the Western United States again, 128 00:07:47,728 --> 00:07:49,096 I think that he will be a happy kid. 129 00:07:49,120 --> 00:07:52,472 - Uh, we have jobs. 130 00:07:52,515 --> 00:07:54,474 My husband is the mayor. 131 00:07:54,517 --> 00:07:57,302 - Scotland needs mayors. 132 00:07:57,346 --> 00:08:00,697 I read it in a book. 133 00:08:00,741 --> 00:08:02,046 - We're not moving. 134 00:08:06,050 --> 00:08:08,270 - Ah, of course! 135 00:08:08,313 --> 00:08:09,489 Not. 136 00:08:10,794 --> 00:08:12,709 Um. - Uh... 137 00:08:12,753 --> 00:08:16,496 - He's probably just looking for attention. 138 00:08:19,977 --> 00:08:21,631 - Yeah. 139 00:08:21,675 --> 00:08:23,938 I guess that makes sense. 140 00:08:23,981 --> 00:08:26,680 I try and steer clear of Max during the day. 141 00:08:26,723 --> 00:08:30,031 Having a mom who works at school isn't the easiest thing. 142 00:08:30,074 --> 00:08:33,948 - Neglect. It's your fault. And with that, you can go. 143 00:08:33,991 --> 00:08:35,340 - Uh... 144 00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:38,735 yeah, well, I... 145 00:08:38,779 --> 00:08:42,086 guess I'll just try spending more time with him. 146 00:08:42,130 --> 00:08:46,395 Gotta be honest, I feel like I'm losing my mind. 147 00:08:46,438 --> 00:08:47,590 Max doesn't drop the alien thing, 148 00:08:47,614 --> 00:08:48,571 I'm gonna kill him. 149 00:08:48,615 --> 00:08:51,008 - You and me both. 150 00:08:57,580 --> 00:08:59,321 - Thank you so much for everything... 151 00:08:59,364 --> 00:09:01,584 Oh, oh. 152 00:09:01,628 --> 00:09:02,933 Kay. 153 00:09:21,430 --> 00:09:23,737 - Good morning, dickhead. 154 00:09:25,652 --> 00:09:28,655 - Can't call me that. That's a nasty word. 155 00:09:28,698 --> 00:09:32,049 - Oh, I'm sorry, shit-for-brains. 156 00:09:32,093 --> 00:09:35,009 - You're inappropriate and you stole my flyers. 157 00:09:35,052 --> 00:09:36,619 - Do you wanna put them back up? 158 00:09:36,663 --> 00:09:37,968 Go ahead. 159 00:09:38,012 --> 00:09:42,233 No one believes you, anyway, not even your parents. 160 00:09:42,277 --> 00:09:44,584 Tell people I am an alien. 161 00:09:44,627 --> 00:09:48,370 Climb to the highest tower in town 162 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:51,025 and shout it to everyone. 163 00:09:51,068 --> 00:09:53,941 - We don't have towers, you dumb alien. 164 00:09:53,984 --> 00:09:55,072 - No, I... 165 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:58,598 I know that; it was a figure of speech. 166 00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,034 - No, it wasn't. 167 00:10:00,077 --> 00:10:01,707 Oh, my God, you actually thought we had towers. 168 00:10:01,731 --> 00:10:03,167 - I did not! 169 00:10:03,211 --> 00:10:04,865 - You're so stupid. 170 00:10:04,908 --> 00:10:07,955 "Hi, I'm an alien and I think it's castle times 171 00:10:07,998 --> 00:10:09,521 and there are towers." 172 00:10:09,565 --> 00:10:12,960 - I was testing to see if you thought there were towers, 173 00:10:13,003 --> 00:10:15,832 and you're lucky you passed. 174 00:10:15,876 --> 00:10:18,661 - Well, I'm gonna go to school now. 175 00:10:18,705 --> 00:10:19,923 - Wait. 176 00:10:19,967 --> 00:10:21,925 - I hope a tower doesn't fall on me 177 00:10:21,969 --> 00:10:24,319 because we live in make-believe times. 178 00:10:24,362 --> 00:10:26,800 - You're the one who thinks there's towers! 179 00:10:29,411 --> 00:10:30,673 Dickhead. 180 00:10:30,717 --> 00:10:31,805 Assh... 181 00:10:33,676 --> 00:10:35,025 Asshole. 182 00:10:41,162 --> 00:10:43,773 - Hey, Ass-ta. 183 00:10:43,817 --> 00:10:45,775 - It's Ah-sta, Ellen. You knew that. 184 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:48,299 - Sorry. Must be the Canadian in me. 185 00:10:48,343 --> 00:10:49,736 - Well, 186 00:10:49,779 --> 00:10:51,278 on this side of the imaginary border, it's Ah-sta. 187 00:10:51,302 --> 00:10:55,437 Pasta, drama, Ah-sta. What else can I do for you? 188 00:10:55,480 --> 00:10:58,309 - Ah-sta, Dr. V needs some prescription pads, 189 00:10:58,353 --> 00:10:59,963 but I can't find any. 190 00:11:00,007 --> 00:11:02,139 - Well, where have you looked? - I haven't looked yet. 191 00:11:02,183 --> 00:11:03,271 Can you get them? 192 00:11:30,951 --> 00:11:32,735 - Whoa, what are you doing? 193 00:11:32,779 --> 00:11:35,390 - I want that so badly. - Excuse me? 194 00:11:35,433 --> 00:11:38,262 - Sleep. 195 00:11:38,306 --> 00:11:41,135 I can't sleep at night. I'm trying to learn how. 196 00:11:41,178 --> 00:11:43,746 - Okay, well, please stop. It's creepy. 197 00:11:43,790 --> 00:11:44,921 Get up. 198 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:47,837 Jay, Jay, wake up. 199 00:11:47,881 --> 00:11:49,796 Please wake up. 200 00:11:49,839 --> 00:11:51,338 Have you seen one of Sam's prescription pads 201 00:11:51,362 --> 00:11:52,363 laying around? 202 00:11:52,407 --> 00:11:53,495 There's one missing. 203 00:11:53,538 --> 00:11:55,236 I don't know if he took it home, I... 204 00:11:55,279 --> 00:11:56,716 He always used to keep them here. 205 00:11:56,759 --> 00:11:58,587 - That's why you woke me up? 206 00:11:58,630 --> 00:12:01,198 - Well, have you seen it or not? 207 00:12:01,242 --> 00:12:02,286 - Not. 208 00:12:02,330 --> 00:12:04,332 I just work here for school credit. 209 00:12:04,375 --> 00:12:06,769 I barely know where the tongue depressors are. 210 00:12:12,166 --> 00:12:15,256 - I thought sleep was supposed to make you feel better. 211 00:12:15,299 --> 00:12:16,779 - Cut her some slack. 212 00:12:16,823 --> 00:12:19,782 She was probably up all night reeling like the rest of us. 213 00:12:19,826 --> 00:12:23,090 You didn't even know Sam. Why can't you sleep? 214 00:12:23,133 --> 00:12:25,962 - There's a dead me floating in the lake. 215 00:12:26,006 --> 00:12:29,444 I can't find the on/off switch in my brain. 216 00:12:31,446 --> 00:12:33,665 - Do you ever meditate? 217 00:12:33,709 --> 00:12:35,711 - By meditate, do you mean sit peacefully 218 00:12:35,755 --> 00:12:38,018 and think of all the people I want to kill? 219 00:12:38,061 --> 00:12:41,325 Yes. I like it very much. 220 00:12:42,892 --> 00:12:44,067 - Good. 221 00:12:44,111 --> 00:12:45,155 - Uh, Dr. Vanderspeigle, 222 00:12:45,199 --> 00:12:46,722 we need you down at the town hall. 223 00:12:46,766 --> 00:12:48,637 - What's going on? 224 00:12:48,680 --> 00:12:52,162 - There's another dead body. This time in the lake. 225 00:12:52,206 --> 00:12:53,598 - Okay. 226 00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:03,434 - All right, all right, 227 00:13:03,478 --> 00:13:04,672 now there's a lot of misinformation out there, okay? 228 00:13:04,696 --> 00:13:06,394 Everybody just needs to calm down. 229 00:13:06,437 --> 00:13:07,850 And somebody need to open up a damn window 230 00:13:07,874 --> 00:13:10,311 'cause it smell like a sweaty REI store up in here. 231 00:13:10,354 --> 00:13:11,747 - What? 232 00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:16,839 - I hear the found the body? - No, just a foot. 233 00:13:16,883 --> 00:13:20,103 Jack Rooney found it fishing the lake. 234 00:13:20,147 --> 00:13:21,844 - Which lake? My lake? 235 00:13:21,888 --> 00:13:23,193 - Not your lake. 236 00:13:23,237 --> 00:13:25,500 Belongs to the state of Colorado. 237 00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:29,678 Oh, are you trying to impress me? 238 00:13:29,721 --> 00:13:31,506 By making me think you own a lake? 239 00:13:31,549 --> 00:13:32,855 - No, I'm not doing that. 240 00:13:32,899 --> 00:13:34,596 - Can maybe you be just a little less needy 241 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:35,989 and a little bit more sensitive? 242 00:13:36,032 --> 00:13:38,339 Because somebody's died, so. 243 00:13:38,382 --> 00:13:39,601 Come on, can we see the foot? 244 00:13:39,644 --> 00:13:41,951 - What's going on? Who does the foot belong to? 245 00:13:41,995 --> 00:13:43,300 - Yes, and can we touch it? 246 00:13:43,344 --> 00:13:45,128 Were they murdered? 247 00:13:45,172 --> 00:13:48,262 - Okay, folks, folks, folks. - What size is it? 248 00:13:48,305 --> 00:13:49,872 - This is an ongoing investigation 249 00:13:49,916 --> 00:13:52,657 and all that we have now is... is... is a dead foot. 250 00:13:52,701 --> 00:13:54,964 - That foot belongs to the guy I killed. 251 00:13:55,008 --> 00:13:57,140 - For all we know, you know, it's just, uh, 252 00:13:57,184 --> 00:14:00,013 some hiker who got his foot ripped off by a bear. 253 00:14:00,056 --> 00:14:01,884 - There's a killer bear on the loose? 254 00:14:03,016 --> 00:14:05,583 - I know it. It's my own fault. 255 00:14:05,627 --> 00:14:07,300 I should've spent more time searching the lake 256 00:14:07,324 --> 00:14:09,849 and less time watching "Law & Order" marathons. 257 00:14:09,892 --> 00:14:11,241 All right! 258 00:14:11,285 --> 00:14:12,764 I want everybody to shut up! 259 00:14:12,808 --> 00:14:14,288 I want it so quiet in here, 260 00:14:14,331 --> 00:14:16,638 you can hear a mouse piss on cotton, you understand me? 261 00:14:16,681 --> 00:14:18,901 No. 262 00:14:18,945 --> 00:14:20,424 - Now... - Okay. 263 00:14:20,468 --> 00:14:21,991 - As you all know, 264 00:14:22,035 --> 00:14:25,255 we recently lost one of our own, Sam Hodges, 265 00:14:25,299 --> 00:14:26,648 who was murdered. 266 00:14:26,691 --> 00:14:29,477 Now, finding this here foot in there? 267 00:14:29,520 --> 00:14:31,261 This is a good thing 268 00:14:31,305 --> 00:14:34,003 'cause it means that we don't have a murderer in our town. 269 00:14:34,047 --> 00:14:35,265 - Oh. - Oh. 270 00:14:35,309 --> 00:14:37,398 - We... we don't? 271 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,081 - We got ourselves a serial killer, y'all. 272 00:14:40,749 --> 00:14:42,074 - How the hell is that a good thing? 273 00:14:42,098 --> 00:14:44,492 - Serial killers don't run away and hide. 274 00:14:44,535 --> 00:14:46,624 They lie in wait to strike again, 275 00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:47,887 so they're easier to catch. 276 00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:49,497 Hell, if I was a serial killer, 277 00:14:49,540 --> 00:14:51,780 I'd be in this room right now looking for my next victim. 278 00:14:53,066 --> 00:14:54,565 All right. Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't worry! 279 00:14:54,589 --> 00:14:56,852 We're gonna send the foot to Denver for DNA testing. 280 00:14:56,896 --> 00:14:59,855 Once we find out who it is, we gon' catch this killer. 281 00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,857 - I can't let them get that DNA. 282 00:15:01,901 --> 00:15:04,512 They'll know I'm dead lake man. 283 00:15:04,555 --> 00:15:05,750 - Doctor, do you have anything that... 284 00:15:05,774 --> 00:15:06,969 That you could... That you could add? 285 00:15:06,993 --> 00:15:10,997 Uh... 286 00:15:13,564 --> 00:15:16,872 I am so scared! 287 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,875 - Real nice, Doc. Real smooth, real smooth. 288 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:23,661 - Fear is real. I have all the signs. 289 00:15:23,705 --> 00:15:27,143 Sweaty palms... 290 00:15:27,187 --> 00:15:29,972 Elevated heartbeat... 291 00:15:30,016 --> 00:15:33,367 - Nice hat, freak. 292 00:15:33,410 --> 00:15:37,110 - Now that I'm in this body, I'm feeling human emotions. 293 00:15:38,415 --> 00:15:39,939 What? 294 00:15:39,982 --> 00:15:41,244 Sorry. 295 00:15:57,434 --> 00:15:59,610 - Poor guy. 296 00:16:01,308 --> 00:16:05,094 My guess is a boat propeller probably hit the dead body 297 00:16:05,138 --> 00:16:07,967 and just chopped the foot right off. 298 00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,838 - Mm. 299 00:16:10,578 --> 00:16:12,058 - White male. 300 00:16:12,101 --> 00:16:16,714 I'm thinking late 40s, 180 pounds, over six feet tall. 301 00:16:16,758 --> 00:16:19,065 That's a size twelve shoe. 302 00:16:19,108 --> 00:16:20,501 - Uh-huh. 303 00:16:20,544 --> 00:16:22,633 - Heck, if you didn't have two feet, 304 00:16:22,677 --> 00:16:24,157 I'd think this thing was yours. 305 00:16:25,288 --> 00:16:27,812 You are a funny, hilarious person. 306 00:16:27,856 --> 00:16:30,902 - Anyway, the medical examiner will let us know 307 00:16:30,946 --> 00:16:33,731 if we get a hit on the DNA. 308 00:16:33,775 --> 00:16:36,256 No, I know there's a chance that there won't be, 309 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:38,867 but with so many people in the database these days, 310 00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:42,740 all those ancestry testing kits. 311 00:16:42,784 --> 00:16:44,220 Even I did one. 312 00:16:44,264 --> 00:16:46,918 Uh, I found out that, um, 313 00:16:46,962 --> 00:16:50,052 my real father is actually my dad's best friend, Bill, 314 00:16:50,096 --> 00:16:53,708 so I told my dad and he and my mom broke up 315 00:16:53,751 --> 00:16:58,974 and then he left town and he moved to Ohio, so... 316 00:16:59,018 --> 00:17:01,672 I don't recommend those tests. 317 00:17:03,065 --> 00:17:04,738 Anyway, soon the only people who won't be in the database 318 00:17:04,762 --> 00:17:08,070 are hermits and babies. 319 00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:28,917 Definitely my foot. 320 00:17:28,960 --> 00:17:31,398 It's amazing how my people have developed the ability 321 00:17:31,441 --> 00:17:34,096 to mimic other life forms on the cellular level. 322 00:17:34,140 --> 00:17:35,619 We are an incredible... 323 00:17:35,663 --> 00:17:37,143 - And I forgot to close the door. 324 00:17:37,186 --> 00:17:39,101 - When you're doing being next-level weird, 325 00:17:39,145 --> 00:17:41,277 we have the Briscoes in the exam room. 326 00:17:41,321 --> 00:17:43,497 - Oh, there's my sock. 327 00:17:43,540 --> 00:17:44,672 It's here. 328 00:17:44,715 --> 00:17:47,501 - Where's my goddamn foot? 329 00:17:47,544 --> 00:17:49,242 You stole my five dead little piggies, 330 00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:51,592 not to mention Liv's favorite bucket. 331 00:17:51,635 --> 00:17:52,873 She puts her soda pop in there. 332 00:17:52,897 --> 00:17:55,770 - I can help. I am a pathologist. 333 00:17:55,813 --> 00:17:58,033 You don't need to send the whole foot to Denver. 334 00:17:58,077 --> 00:17:59,861 - Well, then pathologize the damn thing 335 00:17:59,904 --> 00:18:01,297 and get me a DNA sample. 336 00:18:01,341 --> 00:18:03,734 We got some Ted Bundy shit going on around here, 337 00:18:03,778 --> 00:18:05,954 and I need to put a stop to it before he strikes again. 338 00:18:05,997 --> 00:18:07,782 - Or she. 339 00:18:07,825 --> 00:18:09,131 The killer could be a woman. 340 00:18:09,175 --> 00:18:11,307 That's sexist. You're sexist. 341 00:18:11,351 --> 00:18:12,482 - Let me tell you something. 342 00:18:12,526 --> 00:18:15,833 When I say he, I mean he or she. 343 00:18:15,877 --> 00:18:17,444 You know, between you and me, 344 00:18:17,487 --> 00:18:18,682 what is this PC bullshit anyway now 345 00:18:18,706 --> 00:18:20,186 where you gotta say "he/she" for "he" 346 00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:23,493 when "he" already mean "he/she," you know what I mean? 347 00:18:23,537 --> 00:18:25,147 - I just think it'll be more respectful 348 00:18:25,191 --> 00:18:28,498 if you think of the killer as a woman. 349 00:18:28,542 --> 00:18:30,065 - Okay. 350 00:18:30,109 --> 00:18:32,546 Well, let me tell you what I think would be respectful... 351 00:18:32,589 --> 00:18:34,722 Is if you got me a skin sample off this foot 352 00:18:34,765 --> 00:18:37,159 before I start needing dick pills. 353 00:18:37,203 --> 00:18:40,075 Now, I'ma be in the waiting room waiting. 354 00:18:43,078 --> 00:18:45,211 Hmm. 355 00:18:55,003 --> 00:18:57,962 - No one knows where great ideas come from, 356 00:18:58,006 --> 00:19:00,922 but you always remember where you were when they came. 357 00:19:00,965 --> 00:19:03,403 There. 358 00:19:03,446 --> 00:19:06,623 - And in this case, my great idea came the moment 359 00:19:06,667 --> 00:19:08,756 I entered the exam room and realized 360 00:19:08,799 --> 00:19:11,541 I was going to cut the foreskin off this baby's dick 361 00:19:11,585 --> 00:19:13,326 and hand it to the sheriff. 362 00:19:16,546 --> 00:19:18,809 How long has he been sick? - Just two days. 363 00:19:18,853 --> 00:19:20,202 - He doesn't have a fever. 364 00:19:20,246 --> 00:19:22,552 - That's a relief. - Mm. 365 00:19:25,251 --> 00:19:28,732 His chest is clear. Is he circumcised? 366 00:19:28,776 --> 00:19:30,386 - What? - What? 367 00:19:30,430 --> 00:19:33,520 - Right, how dumb of me to ask. 368 00:19:33,563 --> 00:19:35,870 I'm right here. I can just check myself. 369 00:19:35,913 --> 00:19:37,587 Let's see what you're packin' down there, champ. 370 00:19:37,611 --> 00:19:41,180 - Harry... Dr. Vanderspeigle, you don't need to do that. 371 00:19:41,223 --> 00:19:43,834 - He's not circumcised. Not yet, anyway. 372 00:19:43,878 --> 00:19:46,881 We were thinking about it but hadn't made a decision. 373 00:19:46,924 --> 00:19:48,815 - And you don't need to make a decision right now. 374 00:19:48,839 --> 00:19:49,927 - The sooner the better. 375 00:19:49,971 --> 00:19:51,929 Removing the foreskin reduces the risk 376 00:19:51,973 --> 00:19:54,367 of urinary tract infection. 377 00:19:54,410 --> 00:19:57,500 Also STDs. - STDs? 378 00:19:57,544 --> 00:20:00,286 - Do you want your baby getting gonorrhea? 379 00:20:01,243 --> 00:20:02,331 - Is that a real question? 380 00:20:02,375 --> 00:20:03,941 - No, it's not. 381 00:20:03,985 --> 00:20:07,293 - You should consider it. It's a very simple procedure. 382 00:20:07,336 --> 00:20:09,773 All I do is surgically remove the skin 383 00:20:09,817 --> 00:20:13,124 which covers the tip of your baby's prick. 384 00:20:17,999 --> 00:20:19,914 Here you go. 385 00:20:19,957 --> 00:20:23,352 I'm keeping the foot so it can be stored properly. 386 00:20:23,396 --> 00:20:24,788 - Fine by me. 387 00:20:24,832 --> 00:20:27,443 Thing made my whole office smell like bad sushi. 388 00:20:27,487 --> 00:20:29,358 I gotta get this back to Liv. 389 00:20:29,402 --> 00:20:31,621 You know ladies love they buckets. 390 00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:35,408 Before you say that's sexist, that's just a fact. 391 00:20:53,556 --> 00:20:56,820 - Hey, Maxie. - Mom, what are you doing? 392 00:20:56,864 --> 00:20:59,301 I can't be seen hanging out with my mother. 393 00:20:59,345 --> 00:21:01,303 - Don't be silly. Hey. 394 00:21:01,347 --> 00:21:04,306 Teachers get lunch breaks, too. 395 00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,153 Just wanted to stop by and see how you're doing. 396 00:21:06,177 --> 00:21:08,832 - Please go! 397 00:21:08,876 --> 00:21:10,486 I'll actually pay you. 398 00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:12,203 - That's the money I gave you this morning. 399 00:21:12,227 --> 00:21:14,185 - Money is money. 400 00:21:14,229 --> 00:21:17,188 - Okay, just... hey. 401 00:21:17,232 --> 00:21:18,872 I just wanted to tell you that I love you. 402 00:21:20,801 --> 00:21:22,542 Okay. 403 00:21:25,153 --> 00:21:26,328 Can I just get a hug? - No! 404 00:21:26,372 --> 00:21:28,765 - Okay, great. Okay, bye. 405 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:33,292 Love you. - Hey. 406 00:21:34,771 --> 00:21:37,208 - Dude, that's the kid with the alien poster. 407 00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:42,344 Oh! 408 00:21:48,872 --> 00:21:51,832 - What, Space Boy? 409 00:21:51,875 --> 00:21:54,313 - He's the one with the alien posters? 410 00:22:00,928 --> 00:22:03,365 - You wanna make fun of me, too? 411 00:22:03,409 --> 00:22:05,411 - No. 412 00:22:05,454 --> 00:22:09,110 Because I believe you. 413 00:22:14,115 --> 00:22:17,423 - Stress, fear. 414 00:22:17,466 --> 00:22:19,729 No wonder humans can't sleep at night. 415 00:22:19,773 --> 00:22:21,775 - Imagine what that water would do to your balls? 416 00:22:21,818 --> 00:22:24,255 - At least I don't have to worry about the kid 417 00:22:24,299 --> 00:22:26,301 or the foot anymore. 418 00:22:30,566 --> 00:22:34,831 What's going on here? Why are you on my beach? 419 00:22:34,875 --> 00:22:36,833 - It's official police business, Doc. 420 00:22:36,877 --> 00:22:38,594 Rest of that body's got .to be out there somewhere, 421 00:22:38,618 --> 00:22:41,011 and I plan on finding it. 422 00:22:41,055 --> 00:22:43,927 - You work too hard. You should take some time off. 423 00:22:43,971 --> 00:22:46,408 Doctor's orders. 424 00:22:46,452 --> 00:22:48,149 - I am a little concerned about 425 00:22:48,192 --> 00:22:51,587 the overall scale of this operation. 426 00:22:51,631 --> 00:22:54,111 You know, we don't have the budget to drag this whole lake. 427 00:22:54,155 --> 00:22:55,374 - You got it in your budget 428 00:22:55,417 --> 00:22:58,028 to live in a town littered with dead bodies? 429 00:22:58,072 --> 00:23:00,422 - Not really how budgets work. 430 00:23:00,466 --> 00:23:02,555 And this whole thing... It's just too expensive. 431 00:23:02,598 --> 00:23:06,820 I mean, the town is definitely not paying for snacks, okay? 432 00:23:06,863 --> 00:23:08,474 - Those are Cletus's dog treats. 433 00:23:10,867 --> 00:23:12,478 - Hey, don't be spittin' that out! 434 00:23:12,521 --> 00:23:14,456 That's real bison meat. What the hell's wrong with you? 435 00:23:14,480 --> 00:23:17,308 - Dang it! God, it's like a gamey peanut. 436 00:23:17,352 --> 00:23:18,788 Listen, 437 00:23:18,832 --> 00:23:20,505 everyone here needs to get their head in the game. 438 00:23:20,529 --> 00:23:22,749 We're searching this entire lake. 439 00:23:22,792 --> 00:23:26,317 We ain't gon' stop till we find that body. 440 00:23:43,987 --> 00:23:45,380 Yes, nurse. 441 00:23:45,424 --> 00:23:50,167 I have very bad ass rash for you to examine, please. 442 00:23:50,211 --> 00:23:52,256 Okay? 443 00:23:52,300 --> 00:23:54,171 - Oh, my God, you scared me. 444 00:23:54,215 --> 00:23:56,478 Come on, let's go. 445 00:23:56,522 --> 00:23:58,785 You've been so mopey lately. 446 00:23:58,828 --> 00:24:01,352 - You do know my friend Sam died. 447 00:24:01,396 --> 00:24:04,268 Yes, I know. 448 00:24:04,312 --> 00:24:05,966 I know, I know, 449 00:24:06,009 --> 00:24:10,753 and I'm very sorry and it sucks, 450 00:24:10,797 --> 00:24:15,541 but maybe to get your mind off of it, you come out with me. 451 00:24:15,584 --> 00:24:18,674 - You taking me to feed baby squirrels again? 452 00:24:18,718 --> 00:24:20,633 - This is even better. 453 00:24:24,550 --> 00:24:27,988 They find that body, I'm gonna legit shit myself. 454 00:24:28,031 --> 00:24:29,946 - When you said, "have some fun," 455 00:24:29,990 --> 00:24:33,733 I thought you meant dinner or maybe a movie. 456 00:24:33,776 --> 00:24:36,213 - Come on, we got a live show here. 457 00:24:36,257 --> 00:24:39,608 The finale, fingers crossed, is a bloated, dead corpse. 458 00:24:39,652 --> 00:24:43,699 - So this is our night? A floater watch party? 459 00:24:43,743 --> 00:24:46,615 - This town, I'll take what I can get. 460 00:24:46,659 --> 00:24:51,533 Besides, I was dating this guy, and he sort of ghosted me. 461 00:24:51,577 --> 00:24:52,665 - Oof. 462 00:24:52,708 --> 00:24:54,188 - I mean, he stopped calling entirely 463 00:24:54,231 --> 00:24:56,799 and I'm kind of hoping that's him out there, you know? 464 00:24:56,843 --> 00:24:59,541 Get some closure. 465 00:24:59,585 --> 00:25:04,415 Also, you know what I heard? JT is having a party later. 466 00:25:04,459 --> 00:25:06,461 - JT. 467 00:25:06,505 --> 00:25:09,464 I haven't thought about him in forever. 468 00:25:09,508 --> 00:25:11,161 I can't believe he's still around. 469 00:25:11,205 --> 00:25:14,164 - Well, I mean, everybody's still around. 470 00:25:14,208 --> 00:25:16,689 Nobody gets out of here. 471 00:25:16,732 --> 00:25:18,473 - We did. 472 00:25:18,517 --> 00:25:19,648 I'll give us that. 473 00:25:19,692 --> 00:25:21,868 We both got out and chased our dreams. 474 00:25:21,911 --> 00:25:24,914 - Damn right. - Yeah. 475 00:25:27,395 --> 00:25:31,530 - And reality chased us right back. 476 00:25:32,748 --> 00:25:35,229 - Yeah. 477 00:25:35,272 --> 00:25:37,405 - Yeah, starting to envy that body in the lake. 478 00:25:41,627 --> 00:25:45,195 - Deputy, why is your boat headed to shore? 479 00:25:45,239 --> 00:25:47,241 - The mayor has to be brought back in. 480 00:25:47,284 --> 00:25:49,156 He has an appointment. 481 00:25:52,289 --> 00:25:55,466 - Is there somebody throwing up on that boat? 482 00:25:55,510 --> 00:25:58,295 - Uh, hi, Sheriff. This is the mayor speaking. 483 00:25:58,339 --> 00:25:59,688 I just have a pre-existing appoi... 484 00:26:01,429 --> 00:26:02,952 - Are you seasick? - Uh... 485 00:26:02,996 --> 00:26:04,301 - We don't hold justice 486 00:26:04,345 --> 00:26:06,086 just 'cause your tummy's a little upset. 487 00:26:06,129 --> 00:26:07,324 If you gotta piss, puke, or shit, 488 00:26:07,348 --> 00:26:08,717 you do it over the side of the boat. 489 00:26:08,741 --> 00:26:10,569 In the meantime, we stick to the plan. 490 00:26:10,612 --> 00:26:12,919 You do the east lake grid; I do the west lake grid. 491 00:26:12,962 --> 00:26:15,965 Over. - Aye-aye, sir. 492 00:26:16,009 --> 00:26:17,271 Perhaps if you drank some water? 493 00:26:17,314 --> 00:26:19,273 - All I taste is bison. 494 00:26:19,316 --> 00:26:21,623 - I don't like this feeling. 495 00:26:21,667 --> 00:26:24,321 Even this dog is making me nervous. 496 00:26:24,365 --> 00:26:27,194 I remember when I didn't know the meaning of fear. 497 00:26:28,021 --> 00:26:31,459 After my ship crashed, I was on my own for two weeks. 498 00:26:31,502 --> 00:26:36,029 An alien on an alien planet, danger everywhere. 499 00:26:43,471 --> 00:26:46,953 - None of it concerned me. 500 00:26:58,355 --> 00:27:02,229 - Not knowing fear allowed me to make bold fashion choices. 501 00:27:44,227 --> 00:27:47,187 - I don't think they're gonna find a body. 502 00:27:47,230 --> 00:27:49,711 - Come on, stay positive. 503 00:27:49,755 --> 00:27:52,583 - I think that's Harry's cabin over there. 504 00:27:52,627 --> 00:27:54,585 - Fancy. 505 00:27:55,630 --> 00:27:57,850 I wonder what half of it will be worth when we split up. 506 00:28:00,548 --> 00:28:03,246 - Mm. 507 00:28:03,290 --> 00:28:04,857 I remember who Harry reminds me of. 508 00:28:04,900 --> 00:28:06,380 - Who? 509 00:28:06,423 --> 00:28:08,338 - Danny Oliver. - My God, he took you to prom. 510 00:28:08,382 --> 00:28:10,253 - Yes, he did, right? 511 00:28:10,297 --> 00:28:12,691 Yes, he did. - Oh, God. 512 00:28:12,734 --> 00:28:15,476 - You remember him dancing to "Got Your Money"? 513 00:28:40,675 --> 00:28:44,200 - Sheriff, maybe I should go in and check the shoreline? 514 00:28:44,244 --> 00:28:45,767 Based on the current, 515 00:28:45,811 --> 00:28:48,465 it is highly probable the body has already washed up. 516 00:28:48,509 --> 00:28:51,773 - I know what's going on. The mayor's still sick. 517 00:28:51,817 --> 00:28:55,559 You stay on mission, Deputy. We got a body to find. 518 00:28:55,603 --> 00:28:57,648 - This guy's not going to give up. 519 00:28:57,692 --> 00:29:00,477 I can't panic. I just need a plan. 520 00:29:00,521 --> 00:29:02,349 If they find the body, 521 00:29:02,392 --> 00:29:04,003 I'll say it's my twin brother, Frederico. 522 00:29:04,046 --> 00:29:07,876 Playboy, drinker, bad swimmer. 523 00:29:26,460 --> 00:29:28,636 - Whoa. 524 00:29:28,679 --> 00:29:31,030 Down, boy. 525 00:29:31,073 --> 00:29:33,162 - Down! 526 00:29:33,206 --> 00:29:34,294 This is my body. 527 00:29:34,337 --> 00:29:39,429 No, let go! 528 00:29:50,049 --> 00:29:52,747 - Harry? Are you home? 529 00:29:52,791 --> 00:29:54,183 Ooh. 530 00:29:54,227 --> 00:29:55,837 - Yes, I'm home 531 00:29:55,881 --> 00:29:59,275 just standing here doing nothing. 532 00:29:59,319 --> 00:30:03,410 - Oh, cool. Looks like a fun night. 533 00:30:03,453 --> 00:30:04,672 - What are you doing here? 534 00:30:04,715 --> 00:30:05,891 - We were down at the beach 535 00:30:05,934 --> 00:30:07,718 watching the lake being dragged. 536 00:30:07,762 --> 00:30:09,982 - It's like our town's version of a drive-in. 537 00:30:10,025 --> 00:30:11,070 - Yeah. - So. 538 00:30:11,113 --> 00:30:13,202 - Can we use your bathroom? 539 00:30:13,246 --> 00:30:14,900 - Um... - Please? 540 00:30:14,943 --> 00:30:16,858 - It's back there. 541 00:30:16,902 --> 00:30:18,991 But then you have to leave right away. 542 00:30:19,034 --> 00:30:21,689 I'm very busy. - Yeah, we know, doing nothing. 543 00:30:28,914 --> 00:30:31,307 - I'm over him. Like, so over him. 544 00:30:31,351 --> 00:30:33,222 Like, I'm embarrassed that I was into him. 545 00:30:37,792 --> 00:30:40,839 - Why are you going through his stuff? 546 00:30:40,882 --> 00:30:42,682 - You can find out a lot about a guy this way. 547 00:30:43,885 --> 00:30:45,191 He's got all the vitamins. 548 00:30:45,234 --> 00:30:48,194 A, B, C... oh, my God. - Huh? 549 00:30:48,237 --> 00:30:50,674 - They're stored in alphabetical order. 550 00:30:50,718 --> 00:30:51,937 He's a maniac. 551 00:30:53,199 --> 00:30:54,504 I'm so turned on. 552 00:31:02,425 --> 00:31:04,645 We are gonna go. 553 00:31:04,688 --> 00:31:06,168 - Oh. 554 00:31:06,212 --> 00:31:09,041 - Do not go in there. 555 00:31:09,084 --> 00:31:10,932 I'm just kidding. I didn't shit in your bathroom. 556 00:31:10,956 --> 00:31:13,915 Gotta go to a party. Sorry, you're not invited. 557 00:31:13,959 --> 00:31:17,353 Kinda a girl's night thing so yeah. 558 00:31:17,397 --> 00:31:18,398 - Okay. 559 00:31:18,441 --> 00:31:19,878 - Seriously, it's not a big deal. 560 00:31:19,921 --> 00:31:23,316 It's just, like, my ex, JT's, like really successful 561 00:31:23,359 --> 00:31:27,189 and he's got, this, like, really big house in the hills 562 00:31:27,233 --> 00:31:30,018 and he's, like, begging me to go, 563 00:31:30,062 --> 00:31:32,542 which... embarrassing for him, you know? 564 00:31:34,588 --> 00:31:36,590 - Then I'm confused why you're still here. 565 00:31:36,633 --> 00:31:37,939 Go. - No, we're good. 566 00:31:37,983 --> 00:31:41,421 - I get it. So we'll see you another time. 567 00:31:41,464 --> 00:31:43,075 - Thank you. 568 00:31:45,251 --> 00:31:49,255 - It's like he's jealous but barely hiding it. 569 00:31:49,298 --> 00:31:50,560 You know? 570 00:31:50,604 --> 00:31:52,693 - He's hiding it pretty well. 571 00:31:52,736 --> 00:31:54,347 - He's probably gonna follow us. 572 00:31:54,390 --> 00:31:55,391 - No, he's not. 573 00:31:55,435 --> 00:31:56,740 - Oh, my God. - You're so weird. 574 00:32:04,313 --> 00:32:08,883 - Hey, you girls got ID? - Oh, what are you doing here? 575 00:32:08,927 --> 00:32:10,580 - This bitch called in for reinforcements. 576 00:32:10,624 --> 00:32:13,366 - Aww, D'arce. - Mwah. 577 00:32:13,409 --> 00:32:15,759 - Thank you. Let's do the damn thing. 578 00:32:15,803 --> 00:32:16,935 - Give it to you. 579 00:32:16,978 --> 00:32:19,067 - Ugh, do you have anything stronger? 580 00:32:19,111 --> 00:32:20,895 Pumped Sage enough milk for a week. 581 00:32:20,939 --> 00:32:22,288 - Mm. 582 00:32:22,331 --> 00:32:25,030 - I'm trying to be out-out. - Ooh, you look hot. 583 00:32:25,073 --> 00:32:27,946 - Ooh, why are you dressed like a mob wife? 584 00:32:27,989 --> 00:32:29,034 - Why aren't you? 585 00:32:29,077 --> 00:32:31,079 I have a husband, you have a cat. 586 00:32:31,123 --> 00:32:32,689 Besides, 587 00:32:32,733 --> 00:32:34,798 this is the first night I've been out since Sage was born. 588 00:32:34,822 --> 00:32:37,694 I'm not gonna waste it on a Broncos jersey and jeans. 589 00:32:37,738 --> 00:32:40,088 Oh. 590 00:32:40,132 --> 00:32:42,873 I see somebody I wanna talk to... 591 00:32:42,917 --> 00:32:45,485 with my butt. 592 00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:48,444 - Kay. 593 00:32:52,013 --> 00:32:53,884 - Hey, watch it. 594 00:32:53,928 --> 00:32:57,279 - Kick rocks, cougar. - Cougar? 595 00:32:57,323 --> 00:32:58,628 We know the guy that lives here, 596 00:32:58,672 --> 00:32:59,760 so maybe we could have him 597 00:32:59,803 --> 00:33:01,129 just kick your ass right out of here. 598 00:33:01,153 --> 00:33:04,156 - Who, JT's dad? He's outta town, lady. 599 00:33:04,199 --> 00:33:06,114 - Lady? 600 00:33:06,158 --> 00:33:08,029 - Check out the MILFs. 601 00:33:14,557 --> 00:33:16,100 - Did you invite me to a high school party? 602 00:33:16,124 --> 00:33:19,127 Oh, God. - Holy shit. 603 00:33:19,171 --> 00:33:21,042 - No, no, no, this isn't funny, okay? 604 00:33:21,086 --> 00:33:23,349 I wasted a 30-mile drive, a babysitter, 605 00:33:23,392 --> 00:33:25,022 and I smeared my best lipstick to be here. 606 00:33:25,046 --> 00:33:27,005 - I'm sorry. - Oh, my God. 607 00:33:27,048 --> 00:33:29,007 - Where's D'Arcy? Oh, shit. 608 00:33:29,050 --> 00:33:31,444 - I'm gonna kill her. - Oh, God, oh, God. 609 00:33:31,487 --> 00:33:33,533 Oh, God. 610 00:33:33,576 --> 00:33:35,100 - You're a good dancer. 611 00:33:35,143 --> 00:33:36,710 And you're skinny. 612 00:33:36,753 --> 00:33:38,233 Like a cricket. 613 00:33:38,277 --> 00:33:41,541 - You wanna take it upstairs? - Why, what's upstairs? 614 00:33:41,584 --> 00:33:43,238 Oh, no, no, no. 615 00:33:43,282 --> 00:33:46,763 Oh, my God, Braces? Ugh. 616 00:33:46,807 --> 00:33:47,808 Chug, chug, chug, chug! 617 00:33:47,851 --> 00:33:49,462 - Don't say that! That's not true! 618 00:33:49,505 --> 00:33:51,812 - Ugh, high school party. 619 00:33:51,855 --> 00:33:54,945 - How's your new boyfriend. You get into his Pull-Ups yet? 620 00:33:54,989 --> 00:33:56,512 - I think that was his first boner. 621 00:33:56,556 --> 00:33:58,079 - Oh. 622 00:33:58,123 --> 00:34:00,647 - I guess that you forgot that JT also has a son named JT? 623 00:34:00,690 --> 00:34:03,519 - It's not my fault that he is a narcissist. 624 00:34:03,563 --> 00:34:05,130 - Wow, that's great. - Let's go. 625 00:34:05,173 --> 00:34:07,045 - Excuse me, sorry. 626 00:34:07,088 --> 00:34:08,394 - What? - Oh, hey, hey, hey. 627 00:34:08,437 --> 00:34:10,570 - Why? - You guys want some? 628 00:34:10,613 --> 00:34:13,486 - Oh, great. We're in a Gen Z drug den. 629 00:34:13,529 --> 00:34:16,358 - Hey, these are Sam's. Where'd you get these? 630 00:34:16,402 --> 00:34:17,533 - From my pocket. 631 00:34:17,577 --> 00:34:20,188 - Burnout, she means who gave them to you? 632 00:34:20,232 --> 00:34:23,757 - This prescription was written after he died. 633 00:34:23,800 --> 00:34:25,150 You weren't prescribed these. 634 00:34:25,193 --> 00:34:26,431 I'm taking them, and if you have a problem with that, 635 00:34:26,455 --> 00:34:30,372 I'm gonna call the cops. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. 636 00:34:30,416 --> 00:34:33,636 - What was that about? - Let's just get out of here. 637 00:34:37,945 --> 00:34:39,077 Wait. Jay? 638 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,731 - Oh! - Oh, bro! 639 00:34:41,775 --> 00:34:42,906 - Oh, gross! 640 00:34:42,950 --> 00:34:44,386 These are brand-new shoes, you dick! 641 00:34:44,430 --> 00:34:45,779 - Oh, shit. 642 00:34:45,822 --> 00:34:48,216 - How are all these children more wasted than us? 643 00:34:48,260 --> 00:34:51,089 - Okay, yeah, I'm going home to snuggle my baby. 644 00:34:51,132 --> 00:34:54,048 You two, you need families. 645 00:34:54,092 --> 00:34:55,528 Or maybe a lawyer. 646 00:34:57,138 --> 00:34:58,202 - This is embarrassing. Help me. 647 00:34:58,226 --> 00:35:00,707 - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's do it. 648 00:35:00,750 --> 00:35:01,969 All right. 649 00:35:04,232 --> 00:35:06,582 - Sorry about tonight. 650 00:35:06,626 --> 00:35:11,892 - You're too young to know how sorry that party really was. 651 00:35:11,935 --> 00:35:14,590 - Thanks. - Course. 652 00:35:14,634 --> 00:35:16,505 Just get to bed. 653 00:35:16,549 --> 00:35:18,290 Oh, hang on, um... 654 00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:22,381 I know you've been going through a hard time lately. 655 00:35:22,424 --> 00:35:24,034 Whenever you're having a rough time, 656 00:35:24,078 --> 00:35:27,560 just burn some of this cedar and pull the smoke around you. 657 00:35:27,603 --> 00:35:30,171 Something my dad taught me. It'll help. 658 00:35:32,391 --> 00:35:36,046 That's weird, but okay. 659 00:35:56,197 --> 00:35:59,157 - Asta, are you ready? 660 00:35:59,200 --> 00:36:02,377 Asta? 661 00:36:06,381 --> 00:36:08,078 Dad! 662 00:36:13,475 --> 00:36:15,999 - Aww. 663 00:36:25,270 --> 00:36:26,532 - You okay? 664 00:36:30,144 --> 00:36:34,322 - Let's get out of here. - Yeah, let's do it. 665 00:36:34,366 --> 00:36:37,195 Up front, princess. I'm not a chauffeur. 666 00:36:38,761 --> 00:36:40,328 I mean... oh, okay. 667 00:36:40,372 --> 00:36:41,677 That's how we're doing it? 668 00:36:41,721 --> 00:36:43,853 - Yep, that's how we're doing it. 669 00:36:43,897 --> 00:36:46,421 No problem. 670 00:36:59,478 --> 00:37:01,001 - Yes. 671 00:37:01,044 --> 00:37:02,481 - We're calling it a night, Doc, 672 00:37:02,524 --> 00:37:04,700 but we'll be back tomorrow. 673 00:37:04,744 --> 00:37:05,938 There's a dead body out there somewhere 674 00:37:05,962 --> 00:37:08,182 and we're not gonna rest until we find it. 675 00:37:08,226 --> 00:37:11,098 - Except we are going to go home and rest now. 676 00:37:11,141 --> 00:37:12,882 Hey, Cletus! 677 00:37:12,926 --> 00:37:13,927 Hey! Get back here, boy! 678 00:37:13,970 --> 00:37:15,494 Hey! What you smell? 679 00:37:15,537 --> 00:37:17,147 - Uh... - Cletus! 680 00:37:17,191 --> 00:37:19,454 What you got, boy? 681 00:37:19,498 --> 00:37:22,457 - Oh, hell. He onto something! 682 00:37:22,501 --> 00:37:26,418 - He cannot go in there. - Go on, boy! 683 00:37:26,461 --> 00:37:27,506 Huh? 684 00:37:30,465 --> 00:37:32,337 Huh. 685 00:37:36,645 --> 00:37:38,343 Huh. 686 00:37:47,482 --> 00:37:50,703 Well, well, well. 687 00:37:50,746 --> 00:37:52,400 - No wonder he's losing his mind. 688 00:37:55,403 --> 00:37:57,753 It's bison. 689 00:37:57,797 --> 00:37:59,364 You got meat. 690 00:37:59,407 --> 00:38:00,669 - I like meat. 691 00:38:02,105 --> 00:38:04,543 - I like meat, too, you know? 692 00:38:04,586 --> 00:38:06,327 I've tried rabbit. 693 00:38:06,371 --> 00:38:07,807 And I tried moose once. 694 00:38:07,850 --> 00:38:10,157 My uncle made them. I ate it, but I didn't like it. 695 00:38:10,200 --> 00:38:12,377 - Okay, well, there's nothing to see here. 696 00:38:12,420 --> 00:38:14,580 At least I know where I can come if I need meat, right? 697 00:38:15,858 --> 00:38:18,600 Come on, here, Cletus! 698 00:38:18,644 --> 00:38:21,690 - And Liv. 699 00:38:36,357 --> 00:38:38,881 - Hey, Dad. - Hey. 700 00:38:38,925 --> 00:38:40,840 - Why are you awake? 701 00:38:40,883 --> 00:38:42,296 Please don't tell me you waited up for me. 702 00:38:42,320 --> 00:38:44,757 - No. 703 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:46,236 Breakfast? - Oh, my God, please. 704 00:38:47,281 --> 00:38:49,327 Scrambled eggs, your favorite. 705 00:38:50,632 --> 00:38:53,592 Wow. 706 00:38:53,635 --> 00:38:55,245 - This looks good. 707 00:39:05,821 --> 00:39:07,867 It was a girl. 708 00:39:12,654 --> 00:39:15,570 The baby was a girl. 709 00:39:18,138 --> 00:39:19,637 I thought she'd be better off without me, 710 00:39:19,661 --> 00:39:20,880 but what if that's not true? 711 00:39:20,923 --> 00:39:24,753 What if... what if she's supposed to be with me? 712 00:39:24,797 --> 00:39:27,408 - You're a mother to that child. 713 00:39:27,452 --> 00:39:32,761 That bond can never be broken. It's a mother's gift. 714 00:39:32,805 --> 00:39:35,677 Wherever that child is, 715 00:39:35,721 --> 00:39:37,810 you'll always be able to sense her. 716 00:39:40,595 --> 00:39:43,468 One day, 717 00:39:43,511 --> 00:39:46,862 that connection will bring you back together. 718 00:39:57,003 --> 00:39:58,787 - Here you go. - Oh, thank you. 719 00:40:01,224 --> 00:40:03,618 Oh. - We both have the same bag. 720 00:40:03,662 --> 00:40:05,228 Oh, um, yeah. 721 00:40:05,272 --> 00:40:07,274 I was just buying a lock for your desk drawer. 722 00:40:07,317 --> 00:40:10,320 It's where Sam used to keep all his prescription pads. 723 00:40:10,364 --> 00:40:11,539 What about you? 724 00:40:11,583 --> 00:40:13,498 - I also have some things to lock away. 725 00:40:16,805 --> 00:40:20,635 - Who even are you, Harry Vanderspeigle? 726 00:40:20,679 --> 00:40:23,246 - Just a... 727 00:40:23,290 --> 00:40:25,379 guy. 728 00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:28,426 - Hmm. 729 00:40:28,469 --> 00:40:30,471 - Everybody has secrets. 730 00:40:30,515 --> 00:40:32,952 Fear is such a great motivator. 731 00:40:32,995 --> 00:40:35,694 It makes people lock those secrets away. 732 00:40:39,262 --> 00:40:41,526 - But for every one person locking away their secrets, 733 00:40:41,569 --> 00:40:45,660 there are two more people seeking to uncover the truth. 734 00:40:48,881 --> 00:40:52,362 - Scary, right? 735 00:40:52,406 --> 00:40:54,887 - He's disgusting. 736 00:40:54,930 --> 00:40:56,570 He definitely cut the brakes on your bike. 737 00:40:58,891 --> 00:41:00,283 I need to get a closer look. 738 00:41:00,327 --> 00:41:03,069 - No, don't. Don't do it. 739 00:41:16,735 --> 00:41:18,737 - What the hell? 740 00:42:12,181 --> 00:42:15,358 - So I look that alien son of a bitch 741 00:42:15,402 --> 00:42:18,623 right in his jaundiced eyes and I said in no uncertain terms, 742 00:42:18,666 --> 00:42:20,886 "I'm not the one to mess with." 743 00:42:20,929 --> 00:42:23,584 I said, "Boy, I don't know where you're from 744 00:42:23,628 --> 00:42:26,239 "and I don't much give a flying duck's fart. 745 00:42:26,282 --> 00:42:29,155 "One thing's for certain, two things for sure. 746 00:42:29,198 --> 00:42:31,679 You best stay the hell away from me." 747 00:42:31,723 --> 00:42:34,247 Well, he come at me. 748 00:42:34,290 --> 00:42:36,641 I kicked his alien ass all the way to the next county. 749 00:42:38,643 --> 00:42:41,646 Damn thing got away with my horse and my hat, 750 00:42:41,689 --> 00:42:44,562 but I knew he wouldn't mess with me again. 751 00:42:44,605 --> 00:42:45,693 - Unbelievable. 752 00:42:45,737 --> 00:42:47,869 See, this is why we like traveling around 753 00:42:47,913 --> 00:42:49,193 meeting other alien experiencers. 754 00:42:49,218 --> 00:42:50,655 - Mm-hmm. - Stories like that. 755 00:42:50,698 --> 00:42:53,179 When we saw your videos online, 756 00:42:53,222 --> 00:42:54,702 we knew we had to come speak with you. 757 00:42:56,182 --> 00:42:58,160 - Where did you say you actually saw the alien again? 758 00:42:58,184 --> 00:42:59,620 Do you know where he was headed? 759 00:42:59,664 --> 00:43:00,882 - Well, little lady, 760 00:43:00,926 --> 00:43:02,164 I've been letting this liquor speak for me 761 00:43:02,188 --> 00:43:04,016 and I think I said too much already. 762 00:43:04,059 --> 00:43:05,495 - Mm. 763 00:43:05,539 --> 00:43:08,890 - But you can read about that in the book I'm writing. 764 00:43:08,934 --> 00:43:11,458 - Oh, cool. You're writing a book. 765 00:43:25,559 --> 00:43:26,821 Well, well, little lady. 766 00:43:26,865 --> 00:43:28,388 What are you doing... 767 00:43:30,999 --> 00:43:35,700 - Oh, my God! Are you insane? 768 00:43:35,743 --> 00:43:38,572 You killed him? 769 00:43:38,616 --> 00:43:39,767 We're not supposed to kill people! 770 00:43:39,791 --> 00:43:41,096 Those aren't our orders! 771 00:43:41,140 --> 00:43:43,446 - Looks like you and I have different orders. 55082

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