Original subtitles

- I'm usually the one to get water.

Before last winter, it was equal,

me then him, him then me.

But since last winter, it's usually me.

- I'm back.

- Yeah. - Oy.

Are you okay?

- Hmm? - Are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm fine.

It's not pneumonia or anything, it's just a cough.

- I'm sure you'll feel better by tonight.

I hate that he won't kiss me.

It's a power move, whether he's aware of it or not.

That's all he has over me now.

Whatcha reading?

If I mention it, he'll just say

he was afraid of getting me sick.

- Virginia Woolf.

- Virginia Woolf.

Sometimes I think he's more depressed than sick.

He gets sick a lot.

God, I haven't read a novel in forever.

- You know you could if you made it your job.

- There are other jobs to do.

besides, I think I'm practically illiterate.

- If you set your mind to it, you'd be able to do it.

- I think I lost your page, sorry.

- Well, we do need food.

- Do you think you're gonna be better enough to come with me

to the market to get food?

Because, no, if you're sick, I can go by myself.

- I can go with you.

- Are you sure?

- Yes, I'm sure.

Notes for an unfinished novel.

David wished he hadn't come.

The noise in the market had always

made him uncomfortable.

Telling them to shut up

had never felt like an option.

- I made this.

- David found it very hard

to look locals in the eye

and he was working on this.

- No? - No.

- No, but it's so pretty. - No.

- Her begging with the sweet, chubby lady

would go on for 30 minutes, maybe more.

- You can sell this, please.

- And David would stand back idly.

- Please, I'm begging you. - Numbly, watching Emily.

- I'm so tired, please. - Unable to look

anybody in the eye.

- It was like they pity us, like they wanted me

to feel like a fucking beggar.

Oh, we're just going home, we just live up there.

Okay. - Okay.

Thank you. - Gracias.

- Ah, don't worry about it.

Nobody's been sick like that since last winter.

These guys just need something to do.

Oh, no.

I'm still a little sick, not on the mouth.

- He always waits for me to undress him.

Why does he always wait for me to undress him?

Of course, I like having sex but not as much as him.

- I need you.

I need you.

- He wants me to say it back,

but I can't say it back.

I don't know why.

Just say it back, even if it isn't true.

Choke me.

- Okay.

- Can you go down on me?

- What? - Can you go down on me?

- David was constantly aware

of his back pain during sex.

He had always been happy to go down on her,

but ever since the running water was cut off,

their hygiene standards, himself included, had dwindled.

And now Emily often had some toilet paper

in or around her labia.

David had never had germophobia,

but he couldn't help noticing nonetheless.

They slept in separate beds

because of his crippling insomnia.

David still worried that Emily harbored some animosity

toward him for this nightly separation.

Goodnight.

That she'd rather be held in the night

like a normal couple would

- Hey.

Hey, it's okay.

Emily.

Hey, shhh.

Hey, it's okay, come on.

It's okay.

Okay, it's okay.

It's okay.

Just pretend that they are fireworks.

Fourth of July, New Year's, just imagine fireworks.

- He was attractive, very handsome.

Or, at least he was my type,

Curly hair, strong jaw, pseudo intellectual.

- I'm David. - I'm Emily.

- You a friend of Diane's?

- No, I'm Anthony's sister.

- I don't remember you, were you here last year?

- I was not.

If I was the person I am now, I would've hated him.

He was actually kind of a dick.

I was a young idiot then, too,

fresh out of college and dumb,

didn't know anything,

liberal arts, still lived at my mom's allowance.

I miss it, being so stupid.

- Mind if I take a seat?

- Sure.

- I can't believe it's another year already, right?

- Oh yeah.

Only a few left.

- Wow, that's dark.

- Only if you view death darkly.

Nothing wrong with death.

- Yeah, I mean, I guess given the choice

between death and eternal life,

I'd choose eternal life.

- You'd get bored pretty quick.

- Eh, I'm bored already.

- Are you?

You know, in the future, when they've solved death,

then everyone's immortal,

they'll look at eternal life the same way

that we look at death.

They'll just live day by day.

- What is your ideal way to die?

- Deep.

Going out in my sleep.

- Wow.

- Riveting. - Exciting.

- What about you?

- Oh, I always thought that I would

die young in a car accident.

- Do you have fear of death?

- Yeah, of course.

- Just like the rest of us.

- Well, I guess in that way.

What?

Goodness.

- I thought something else.

- No, I think we have a thing going on here.

- Oh, we do? - Maybe just,

maybe it's not right here.

- Oh, okay.

I don't have a condom.

- I'm not gonna fuck you in here.

- Okay.

- Hey, who's in there?

Alright, get outta there.

Come on, get outta there.

That's not cool, that's Everett's room.

- Sorry, Everett. - Sorry, Everett.

- 10. - Nine, eight,

seven, six, five, four, three, two, one.

Happy New Year!

Well, shall we? - We shall.

I had it docked and made ready for our departure.

- Oh, is this your yacht, sir?

Oh goodness, think she's seaworthy?

- She should be. - Yeah, ooh.

I think we're stranded. - Yeah,

have we've been beached? - Mm.

- Hoist, argh, you matey.

- I'm going that way.

Not stick.

- David hadn't had many girlfriends.

He had hooked up with plenty,

but recently, independent of meeting Emily, he had decided

that he wanted to start dating someone,

not just hooking up, but really dating.

And he thought maybe he could try with her, whoever she was.

I wasn't sure if you actually were into me

or if you were just drunk.

- I'm not sure yet.

- Okay.

- What are you laughing at?

What is it now?

What?

- I just think you look like you're on a go-kart.

- I look like I'm on a go-kart?

Okay , I'm gonna pee.

- So follow this roundabout.

- Okay. - You're gonna go left here.

- All right, I'm gonna go right.

- What are you doing? - I'm going right.

- David soon began to feel

that Emily's idiosyncrasies,

such as her inability to turn left,

were more endearing than despicable.

- What are you doing? - High beams, what do mean,

- To him, this was the essence of falling in love,

not hating someone when a reasonable person

would have to hate them.

Where are we?

- I don't know, we're lost.

- You all right?

- No, no, thank you.

- What is the notice?

- No.

- Yeah, no.

- Thank you for letting us know.

- Dear Anthony, no big news from here.

Health is good.

David just had flu, better now.

We're much more active than last winter.

Don't write me another worried letter

about last winter or next winter,

there's nothing to worry about now.

I've been planting a garden.

Hopefully we can grow yucca or yams.

It's hard to grow food here, but I think we can do it.

David doesn't need my help as much as he did last winter.

He takes care of me now like he used to.

But two people spending

all their time together is never perfect.

We have a hard time hearing each other speak.

- Should give up on the garden.

- We mumble more or listen less, I'm not sure why.

David, what? - What'd you say?

- What did you say?

Sometimes, I think David tries not to hear me.

- I said that nothing really grows here.

- Sometimes I think I try not to hear him.

The streets are less dangerous now.

La Ronda patrol the roads at night

and they're in town during the day.

I miss you.

I'm afraid for you.

Please write more.

Please come home.

I need my brother now more than ever.

I remember the first time you left

before everything, the day before the election.

You knew, didn't you?

No one else knew.

Why is it important that you leave town right now?

- Let's put it this way, Emily,

what would the government, even in its position right now,

what would they do if another epidemic happened?

- Well, what are you gonna do, go to some bunker?

- No, I just don't want to be somewhere

that's reliant on the municipal power and water supply.

Like, what if they cut off the power tonight?

- I don't know, but it would be better if you were here.

- Look, there's nothing stopping you from coming with me.

- You sound like a crazy conspiracy theorist.

- I know I might sound that way,

but I'm not the only person that thinks like this, Emily.

- Anthony, come on.

- Emily, last chance to come with me.

- No, I'm not gonna come.

I just want you to be safe.

The night of the election was really surreal.

I remember waking up through the night with David.

I remember hating him,

the way you hate someone you're falling in love with

after all the falling is done

and you think maybe you're not in love after all.

- Did he win?

- I'm not paying attention,

I've been trying to sleep.

- My brother thought this was gonna happen,

I totally didn't believe him.

- It's not really gonna change anything.

It's meaningless. - It's not meaningless.

I think things will change.

I didn't even vote, I thought it was ridiculous.

- Yeah, I didn't vote either.

- Oh God.

I think he must have won.

- I think it'd be kind of funny if he won.

- You think it would be funny?

It would not be funny.

To a lot of people, it wouldn't be funny at all.

You sound very privileged saying something like that.

- Well, I am privileged.

I have the privilege of foresight

and I foresee nothing changing.

So we should get some sleep.

- You're not taking this seriously.

- I'm a little offended that you think

that I don't care about the world

just because I didn't volunteer

for some dumb political campaign.

- Oh, well you're gonna belittle

my ambition to help people?

You just think that any kinda activism

is just stupid and pointless?

- It's not stupid and pointless.

I'm not trying to belittle you.

I'm just saying that that your view on life

is a little black and white.

- And your view is a little apathetic.

- It's not apathetic, I care very much.

You don't understand how to approach the issue.

You have to dismantle international conglomerates.

You have to destroy industrial infrastructure,

right, you have to take violent action.

- Violent action? - Yeah.

- That's what you think would help society?

- It's not destroying society.

It's sacrificing your free McDonald's wifi

to save the Amazon, right.

- That makes no sense.

- Makes plenty of sense, - No it doesn't.

- People are too complacent with a whole bunch

of free luxuries that are given to them

by technology they don't need.

- I can't believe you're just dismissing

all of my concerns right now to tell me about getting rid

of McDonald's wifi in order to save the rainforest.

Do you know how ridiculous you sound?

You're right, we should go to sleep, though.

I agree with you about the processed meat.

- She broke up with him the next day.

They were getting lunch at Subway.

She said she thought he wanted more

from the relationship than she did.

And he said he thought that was bullshit.

He said he thought he was a great boyfriend

and if she didn't appreciate that,

then they probably shouldn't be together anyway.

He sounded pathetic and passive-aggressive

and then she left.

He spent the next few weeks alone

and with deep sexual frustration.

He had been addicted to sex with her

but now he masturbated much more frequently

than they had even had sex.

It wasn't just compensating, it was pathological.

The hope he'd had for the relationship

was a powerful healing force

and the forward movement of his life.

And when she broke up with him,

just when their closeness began to mature,

he found himself more lost and without cause

than before he had met her.

The fact that she didn't seem

to need him at all was perhaps most soul crushing.

After a few weeks, his heartbreak turned

to indignation than a semi-pathetic,

self-assuring confidence that Emily was wrong,

that she cared more than she realized,

that she needed him more than he needed her.

Then the bombings happened.

And in a way he was proven right.

- What does this mean? - We have to go.

- Okay, I have to call my mom.

- No, you, don't- - I'm just worried about her.

- She's fine, she's in the suburbs.

The freeways are gonna be blocked,

we have to get outta here right now, like 10 minutes ago.

- All right, I'm just getting a few things.

- Emily. - All right.

- That's it, come on!

Ask that car.

- Someone's calling. - Who is it?

- Hello. - Emily, are you okay?

- Yeah, I'm all right.

How are you, are you okay?

- Emily? Where are you?

- I'm with Diane, we're just trying to get out, I don't,

- No, Emily, listen to me, - There's so much traffic

on the road. - Listen to me,

you can't get out, the roads are blocked.

Emily, don't try to get outta the city by car.

If you get stuck, it's gonna be very bad.

- Well, what am I supposed to do?

- Where is he?

- Can I come get you?

- You want me to come with you?

- Yeah.

- Okay,

- Good.

- All right, what time will you get here?

He's coming here, he's gonna come.

- I'll be right there, I promise

- It lit me up, seeing his name.

I remember not trusting the feeling.

It was comforting, I couldn't deny it.

I wanted to, but I couldn't.

- With the bombings came the first epidemic.

The cities were uninhabitable.

They spent the next few weeks looking

for a smaller town to settle in.

- One person has to put their key in the floor first.

- I got it.

- Push this down?

- Push the material down.

- Oh, Jesus.

- They made their home in a rundown hacienda.

It was a dumb idea, but you couldn't beat the rent.

It took months.

He did most of the work himself.

He built them shelter like a smart but slow caveman.

- He was so unathletic and bad at working,

not lazy, just bad at it.

But he was cute and he was healthy.

- Look at that. - Very healthy.

Use those.

- Ah.

Ah.

- It took a long time for the epidemic

to reach the smaller towns.

Last winter, David was lucky that he only caught pneumonia,

though lucky was hardly how he would've

described it at the time.

There was even a three-week period

in which he feared that he would die.

The wind was so cold

and Emily's demeanor staring at him

with real fear in her eyes while she hopelessly,

ineffectively attempted to nurse him back to health.

- I hated seeing him like that.

I had never seen him as a child until he got sick.

I became his full-time caretaker

and it kind of soured our relationship forever after.

He never really recovered from having pneumonia last winter.

And Diane didn't recover either.

- It's okay.

- It's not okay.

If something like that looks like it's gonna happen to us,

- It's not.

- But if something like that looks like it's going to,

I think that what happened to Diane is worse

than dying has to be.

You know?

I mean, I think it would be nice if

we were just, like, in bed together and made love

and it was perfect and then we could just end it.

- Emily, this is a very - Peacefully.

- Dark conversation, - No, but it doesn't

- Not right now. - have to be,

it can be really nice.

- Yeah.

- Can we do that?

- If that happens to us, then we can do it.

- We can do what?

- We can be together.

We can make love and we can make it really nice.

Then we can end it.

Okay?

- Thank you for understanding.

- Of course I understand

- It's soft.

We shouldn't be here.

This is how Diane got sick, but we need water.

Either die from thirst

or die from transmission,

from breath, from flea, from tick.

I wonder sometimes if you can catch

a disease just by seeing it,

if you can catch a disease in your mind.

- You don't have to carry that.

- What are you fucking talking about, dude?

- I'll help you carry it.

- You're gonna carry two buckets of water up these stairs,

two full buckets of water?

- No, I can dump some of the water outta this one

and then we can both carry that one

if that makes you feel any better.

- What would make me feel better is if you didn't

treat me like a little child, okay.

- Listen, man, I know that you're sick, so look, it's fine,

just let me help.

- All right, great, here.

- Why would you do that? - Go for it.

- Now I have to fill that bucket up again with water.

Thank you. Emily. - Can we just go home?

- Oh, let's just go home.

No, no, no, no, we should stay here

and you should get this off your chest.

- No, let's go.

- I was sick last winter and you blame me for it.

- No, 'cause I'm actually completely over you

being sick last winter.

- Oh, you're over it? - Yeah, it sucked, it sucked.

- And I had to do a lotta stuff.

- Glad you're over it.

- Yeah, yeah, I'm over it. - I'm glad you're over it.

- And maybe if you could get over it just a little bit,

you would feel better.

- I was sick, it affected every fucking part of my life.

Do you understand what that means?

I will carry my bucket of water up the stairs.

After you Miss, Princess.

- You're absolutely crazy.

- I'm crazy? - Yeah.

- Then ask you to leave, Emily.

- What do you mean ask you to get out?

- Ask me to get out, - I have,

I asked you to go home. - Ask me to leave.

Tell me you want me gone, be honest

with your fucking emotions,

- I want you gone? - And I'll get

the fuck outta here. - You're crazy.

- Say something real for once, end this complaining.

- You're crazy.

- Hey, hola. - Hola.

- We have a problem here.

- No, but he's not sick.

No, I promise, he's not sick. - I'm not sick.

- You can just, please,

- I'm not sick. - Please, he's not sick.

Please, just let him go.

- Oh my God, you're here.

- Thank God, I thought I lost you.

Come on, they said we could go.

- What? - They said we can go home.

Are you okay?

- Thank you so much, yeah, I'm all right.

- You're okay? - Yeah, yeah.

- I just never wanna be apart again.

I don't wanna leave you.

- It means so much to me to hear you say that.

Thank you.

- And you know I was serious about what I said

after Diane got sick.

- I know.

- Like if something happens, I just want us

to be together.

And I just want us to be together for as long

as we're healthy and just make it nice

and we can just remember life like that.

I don't want anybody to decide whether we can be together,

Or we have to be alone.

Do you feel the same way?

- Yes, I do.

I do.

- I love you.

- I love you.

- It was a happy moment

for David, despite everything.

And still he couldn't help thinking about

how even though she loved him,

she still didn't need him anymore.

There was nothing more he could do

for her except just love her,

which was no small thing in itself,

which was maybe all anyone could do for anyone really.

But, which didn't necessarily feel like enough.

- You just illustrated my point.

- That's very nice.

All right, wanna climb in and see

if there's something in there?

I got something here. - What?

- Phone charger.

There's some stuff in here actually.

Is there any wiring, like copper?

- That's what I'm looking for.

- There's something here.

You see this? - Yeah.

- I could've been a contender.

- Oh man, you do a really good Marlon Brando.

- Yeah, thank you.

- You should've been an actress.

- Look like little people.

Wait, rollercoaster.

Ready? - A rollercoaster?

- Ah!

Oh no.

You okay?

- Yeah. - Yeah,

I'll get you some water.

- Okay.

- Honey.

Honey, stop.

No, no, no.

Shh.

Honey.

Shh.

Not everybody dies.

You could go to a hospital

or you could stay here and I could take care of you.

- If you take care of me then,

and then you're gonna get it.

- Well, if that happens,

then we have a plan for that, right?

When that happens, we have a plan for that.

Right?

- Yeah.

- Yeah.

I'm not gonna leave you alone.

Dear Anthony,

people are getting sick again.

But don't be afraid, David and I are leaving.

We may already be gone when you read this.

We're happy with this choice.

We're not gonna get sick.

We are healthy, don't worry.

I love you and miss you.

Stay safe, stay healthy.

Love, Emily.

- I don't think we can donate 'em like this.

- Yes, take it.

- Yeah. I'm coming.

- David. - One second.

Start a fire?

- I was really hungry.

- Yeah, me too.

- You know, a person can live

completely on potatoes.

My dad did it.

He only ate potatoes for, like, a year.

My mom used to call him Mr. Potato Head.

- Why would he do that?

- I don't know, he also grew sprouts in the cabinets

in the kitchen.

He told me he would live to be 100

and never have a gray hair.

And then one day I came home and he was eating a Big Mac

and then he cried.

I guess a man can't live on sprouts.

- Are you ready for dessert?

- Not yet.

- I love you.

- Let's keep doing this.

Don't stop.

Don't stop.

Don't stop.

- Huh? - Don't stop.

Don't stop.

Don't stop.

Can you go again?

- What? - Can you go again?

- I could really eat something.

- What would be the point of that?

- Aren't you super hungry and thirsty?

- Yeah, but.

- But?

- We already made our drinks.

- Yeah, but aren't you hungry, though?

- We shouldn't take them except on an empty stomach.

- I just wanna eat a little more,

maybe I can get a little bit more energy

and we can keep going.

It could be so nice.

- That's very sweet.

- Mm, it's 'cause I love you.

- I love you, too.

- Here.

- Not a lot of water left.

- We can just drink the last of it

and we can eat the last of our food

and then we won't have any more food or water,

and won't be tempted anymore.

- Okay.

You can finish it.

- Can you feel your energy coming back yet?

- I don't know.

Emily,

I'm tired. - Just for a little while.

- I'm pretty tired.

- It's okay.

You'll feel better.

- Oh god, Emily, I can't keep doing this.

- Please.

- Emily.

- No.

No.

- Emily, my dick hurts.

- Please, please.

- Fuck

Emily, are you still there?

Emily, if you're still there, open the door.

Open the door.

- Anthony?

Anthony, you can't come in.

- Oh fuck, Emily.

- You can't be here. - Why did you write me

that letter? - Anthony, you have to go.

- Oh, don't be so fucking stupid.

- Anthony, don't come in.

- Open the door!

- You have to go. - All right, I'm coming in.

- No, no. - I'm coming in.

- No. Anthony, don't come in. - Get away from the door.

- Anthony. - I'm coming in the door.

- No, no, no, Anthony, get out of here.

- You're coming with me - Get out of here.

No, I'm not. - You're coming with me.

- Get out of here. - Emily, it's not safe

to be here anymore, it is not safe.

- Anthony, you have to leave.

- No, you have to - Please.

- Please come with me now, please come with me.

- Anthony. I can't.

- Don't do this to me right now.

I came to get you

- Anthony, you have to go, we're sick.

- What are you talking about, you're sick.

- We're sick.

- You're not sick. - Yeah.

- You're not sick. - Yes.

- You're not sick. - Why would I lie to you?

Why? - Just come with me, please.

- Anthony, we are sick, you have to go.

I told you not to come here.

Why are you here?

Anthony, - Emily, please,

if you come with me right now,

I will take you somewhere safe and you will be okay.

- I won't.

I have to stay here with David.

- Emily, you can come with me.

You can come with me and I'll take care of you.

- Anthony, go.

No.

Go, go, go, go.

No. - It's okay.

It's gonna be okay.

- Can you please fuck me?

Fuck me, please, please.

- Okay.

- Are you okay?

Are you okay?

- Ow.

- I can't, I can't.

I can't.

- I can't leave you, I can't.

- Emily.

Emily.

Are you all right?

- You have to vomit.

- What? - You have to vomit.

- No, no, no, no, no.

- No, yeah.

Yes, yes, yes, please.

- Emily, stop, Emily.

- Please, please. - Emily, stop.

- Please, please, please.

Please.

It's okay, it's okay, it's okay.

Now it's better, it's better.

Yeah, yeah, I love you.

I need you, I need you so much, I need you.

I'm cumming.

- Yeah.

- You can cum for me, can you?

It smells good,

helps with the nausea I've been having.

Please God, don't let these crops die.

They're looking so good.

Lot's of good work. - Thanks.

- It's coming along really well.

- It is.

- We really should go see mom soon.

- Soon.

- She wants us to be there

- Soon.

- Whenever you're ready, just tell me when you're ready.

- I appreciate that.

- How are you feeling today?

- I'm feeling better,

- But you know, if you keep feeling nauseous,

you might be pregnant.

- No. - Maybe, though.

- I don't really think that's what it is.

- It is just nausea, though, right?

- It is just nausea.

- That's it? - Yeah.

- Nothing else? - That's it.

- You know how lucky you are that you're not really sick?

- You know, I am lucky.

I'm glad to be here.

- You know I missed you a lot.

- I really missed you too.

- I'm gonna get back to work. - Yeah, get back to work, huh.

I was just late, which makes sense.

Sometimes I don't even have a cycle if I don't eat enough.

I guess it's good that I'm still ovulating.

I can't help feeling sad though.

Also relieved.

Also sad.

Part of me was hoping.

I guess there's an old adage, it's a sin

to bring a life into this dying world.

But they've always said that and it's not dead yet.

And that feels really good to say, I'm not dead yet.

I don't know what I would've done with a baby,

but probably I would love him.

I probably would've just loved him,

which is probably all you can ever do for anyone,

as David used to say.