All language subtitles for Crashing.S01E03.Episode.3.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DD+2.0.x264-Cinefeel

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:12,299 Don't speak to him. She is red zone! 2 00:00:12,300 --> 00:00:13,499 She's basically my sister. 3 00:00:13,500 --> 00:00:15,579 He calls her "my Lulu". 4 00:00:15,580 --> 00:00:18,459 I'm not in love with you. 5 00:00:18,460 --> 00:00:21,459 Why are you wearing a hat? 6 00:00:21,460 --> 00:00:23,619 Colin! 'I think you should live with me.' 7 00:00:23,620 --> 00:00:27,620 I think you would like being painted. I would be generous with your penis. 8 00:00:28,420 --> 00:00:31,979 - Fred. - Yeah. - This ain't never gonna happen. 9 00:00:31,980 --> 00:00:35,980 OK. 10 00:00:52,700 --> 00:00:55,139 Oh, please, if you're about to say something like 11 00:00:55,140 --> 00:00:57,779 "porn is killing sex" we are going to have a massive argument. 12 00:00:57,780 --> 00:01:00,539 - Please don't say it. - Porn is killing sex. - Bring it. 13 00:01:00,540 --> 00:01:03,419 Listen, hot chops, I've wanked over the entire internet. 14 00:01:03,420 --> 00:01:07,420 Computer screens used to give me faster boners than a flash of a tit and that is NOT nor mal. 15 00:01:07,460 --> 00:01:10,619 - Can we please stop talking about porn? - Lulu, you're supposed to be helping me! 16 00:01:10,620 --> 00:01:13,979 You know that a common side effect of excessive porn use is erectile dysfunction... 17 00:01:13,980 --> 00:01:17,059 - Are you getting better boners? - What do you think is holding the table up? 18 00:01:17,060 --> 00:01:18,419 Lulu, kitchen now! 19 00:01:18,420 --> 00:01:21,019 - Guys, am I too much? - Aiiiiiiii! Aiiiii! - Hot, hot, hot! 20 00:01:21,020 --> 00:01:23,019 You look lovely. 21 00:01:23,020 --> 00:01:24,979 Cheers. Sam helped. 22 00:01:24,980 --> 00:01:28,339 Ladies and gentlemen... This is my greatest achievement. 23 00:01:28,340 --> 00:01:32,340 You look SO hot! 24 00:01:38,900 --> 00:01:40,539 Here, try this. 25 00:01:40,540 --> 00:01:41,579 Is it a hot one? 26 00:01:41,580 --> 00:01:44,059 No. It's sweet. 27 00:01:44,060 --> 00:01:47,579 Oh, yeah. Thank you for letting me stay here. 28 00:01:47,580 --> 00:01:49,659 I know it can't have been ideal me 29 00:01:49,660 --> 00:01:52,379 just... turning up out of the... Oh, my GOD! 30 00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:56,380 You are a BASTARD! You bastard! You bastard! 31 00:01:56,420 --> 00:02:00,219 I should have seen it coming, you fucker! 32 00:02:00,220 --> 00:02:02,379 Fred, where's your date? We need to get going. 33 00:02:02,380 --> 00:02:04,739 - I'll call him again. - Stood UUPPP. 34 00:02:04,740 --> 00:02:06,699 - He's probably just got stuck on a... - Penis. 35 00:02:06,700 --> 00:02:07,939 - Train. - Penis train. 36 00:02:07,940 --> 00:02:09,939 He'll be here. He's very reliable. 37 00:02:09,940 --> 00:02:12,579 Whoohoo! Reliable! 38 00:02:12,580 --> 00:02:15,219 So, go on, pray tell us all about the penis train. 39 00:02:15,220 --> 00:02:19,220 Oh, yeah, well... He-he's lovely. Yeah, he's really, um... 40 00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:23,939 He's just so nice to me, I-I don't... 41 00:02:23,940 --> 00:02:27,940 I just... I mean, it's... early days. 42 00:02:28,300 --> 00:02:30,059 What's wrong with you? It's broken. 43 00:02:30,060 --> 00:02:32,979 - Oh, it's broken! - Don't mess me up, OK? I like him. 44 00:02:32,980 --> 00:02:36,139 Yeah sure. Never seen you look so sexy. 45 00:02:36,140 --> 00:02:39,219 OK, here we go. Can we move that, please? 46 00:02:39,220 --> 00:02:40,579 - Yup. - OK. 47 00:02:40,580 --> 00:02:44,580 Tonight there will be three curries - this first one is... 48 00:02:44,660 --> 00:02:46,419 Vindalulu?! 49 00:02:46,420 --> 00:02:49,339 Yeah. No. Now it's called Katie Korma. 50 00:02:49,340 --> 00:02:51,379 What?! But it's not even a korma. 51 00:02:51,380 --> 00:02:55,380 No, it's always been a korma. You were just so chuffed with your wordplay I couldn't break it to you. 52 00:02:55,460 --> 00:02:57,659 - Wow. - It was named after you first? 53 00:02:57,660 --> 00:03:01,059 Oh, it seems I was just the holding name until he got himself an actual girlfriend. 54 00:03:01,060 --> 00:03:02,139 Fiancee. 55 00:03:02,140 --> 00:03:05,139 Fiancee. Sorry, I forgot people still did that. 56 00:03:05,140 --> 00:03:07,339 Don't get weird about it. It's a curry. 57 00:03:07,340 --> 00:03:08,939 I'm not being weird about it! 58 00:03:08,940 --> 00:03:10,819 He meant her. 59 00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:12,459 That's embarrassing. 60 00:03:12,460 --> 00:03:14,019 Ah. I'll get over it. 61 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:16,979 - Where's Melody? - She's still painting Colin. - I bet she is. 62 00:03:16,980 --> 00:03:20,980 Lulu, go get her. 63 00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:31,740 Mate, if this bhaji was a hat, Kate would wear it to work. 64 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:35,619 It's like you've come in my mouth. 65 00:03:35,620 --> 00:03:37,419 Thanks, guys. And the chutney? 66 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:45,299 Mmmm, tastes like cunt. 67 00:03:45,300 --> 00:03:46,659 Thanks, baby. 68 00:03:46,660 --> 00:03:48,579 - OK, OK, OK. - Don't. 69 00:03:48,580 --> 00:03:50,699 But why not-ah? It's curry night! 70 00:03:50,700 --> 00:03:51,819 It's offensive. 71 00:03:51,820 --> 00:03:53,059 What? WHY? I'm good at it... 72 00:03:53,060 --> 00:03:55,659 No, you're not. Can we just serve the curry? 73 00:03:55,660 --> 00:03:57,219 - Yeah. - But why is it offensive? 74 00:03:57,220 --> 00:04:00,779 Would you say that this is offensive, now Anthony? - Yes. Very. 75 00:04:00,780 --> 00:04:03,539 Is this? This is, like, totally offensive, right? 76 00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:06,339 - Doing an Indian accent is different. - Why can't I do an Indian accent? 77 00:04:06,340 --> 00:04:10,340 I'm not taking the piss out of Indian people, I'm just doing the accent-ah on curry nigh t-ah! 78 00:04:10,940 --> 00:04:12,459 It's racist. OK. 79 00:04:12,460 --> 00:04:13,899 How is it racist?! 80 00:04:13,900 --> 00:04:16,459 It just is. It makes me feel uncomfortable. 81 00:04:16,460 --> 00:04:19,739 - Because it makes you feel like you are around Indian people? - No. I didn't say... 82 00:04:19,740 --> 00:04:22,779 - Am I making you feel uncomfortable, Kate? - Do you want him to leave? 83 00:04:22,780 --> 00:04:26,539 I just feel there are certain connotations that come with mocking certain accents. 84 00:04:26,540 --> 00:04:28,579 Come on, it's not the 1980s any more. 85 00:04:28,580 --> 00:04:31,019 You can do an accent without it being mocking! 86 00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:33,579 Is this offending any of you, darlings? 87 00:04:33,580 --> 00:04:34,939 I just got hard. 88 00:04:34,940 --> 00:04:38,940 You can't censor an Indian accent just because it makes YOU feel uncomfortable. 89 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:40,459 If anything, that's racist. 90 00:04:40,460 --> 00:04:44,460 I don't know why it makes me feel weird. It just does. 91 00:04:45,140 --> 00:04:47,619 Oh, do the accent, Katy. 92 00:04:49,780 --> 00:04:52,019 Do the accent, Katy. 93 00:04:52,020 --> 00:04:53,579 No! 94 00:04:53,580 --> 00:04:55,619 Can we just, um... 95 00:04:55,620 --> 00:04:58,619 The pomegranate seeds might be a little bit too much, I'm not sure. 96 00:04:58,620 --> 00:05:02,620 - What, there's... - They're in the raita. 97 00:05:03,140 --> 00:05:07,140 I'm going to pop my belly if I don't have my papadums soon, ya? 98 00:05:07,460 --> 00:05:11,460 You understand me, ya? 99 00:05:14,820 --> 00:05:15,979 Maybe it is racist. 100 00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:18,579 Jesus, Kate. 101 00:05:18,580 --> 00:05:20,339 This is really beautiful food. 102 00:05:20,340 --> 00:05:23,299 Yeah, with herbs it would be even better, actually. 103 00:05:23,300 --> 00:05:27,139 It shouldn't really need herbs. 104 00:05:27,140 --> 00:05:30,939 The worst thing about it is, a part of him always knew it was 105 00:05:30,940 --> 00:05:34,659 happening, but he was just too much of a coward to be alone. 106 00:05:34,660 --> 00:05:37,819 He'd rather have her while she's being licked out by her accountant, 107 00:05:37,820 --> 00:05:39,539 than not have her at all. 108 00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:43,540 Romantic, pathetic, beautiful. It's so many things. 109 00:05:46,100 --> 00:05:50,100 Wow. 110 00:05:50,340 --> 00:05:53,259 Yes, I wasn't expecting her to tell you all that. 111 00:05:53,260 --> 00:05:54,659 You're through the worst now. 112 00:05:54,660 --> 00:05:58,019 He also has sometimes touched himself thinking of the two of them together. 113 00:05:58,020 --> 00:06:01,859 He is a sexually complicated man. But with a huge heart. 114 00:06:01,860 --> 00:06:04,299 - Right. - A huge, broken, heart. 115 00:06:04,300 --> 00:06:06,659 - OK, Melody. - Shattered. 116 00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:07,779 Bum out. 117 00:06:07,780 --> 00:06:11,339 No, no, look. She has found love with Brian. 118 00:06:11,340 --> 00:06:12,939 I cannot begrudge her that. 119 00:06:12,940 --> 00:06:16,579 Your pain is so beautiful. 120 00:06:16,580 --> 00:06:17,819 Thank you. 121 00:06:17,820 --> 00:06:21,820 - Have you been in touch with Cara? - Yes... She, uh... sent me a photo of her garden. 122 00:06:23,260 --> 00:06:24,379 Her front garden? 123 00:06:24,380 --> 00:06:27,219 No, although she does have a lovely little front garden. 124 00:06:27,220 --> 00:06:29,819 But I only paid attention to the back garden. 125 00:06:29,820 --> 00:06:32,179 More space for aggressive seeding and such. 126 00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:35,019 It was rather a weekend passion of mine. 127 00:06:35,020 --> 00:06:37,699 Can we see a picture of her back garden? 128 00:06:37,700 --> 00:06:41,700 Of course. If you like that sort of thing. 129 00:06:41,740 --> 00:06:43,539 Here are the lovely camellias. 130 00:06:43,540 --> 00:06:47,099 And you can just make out that climbing rose blossoming 131 00:06:47,100 --> 00:06:49,419 through the sweet peas. - What's that? 132 00:06:49,420 --> 00:06:51,979 That's Brian jumping through the sprinkler in front 133 00:06:51,980 --> 00:06:53,179 of the chrysanthemums. 134 00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:56,979 - He's very... - Hairy, yes. 135 00:06:56,980 --> 00:07:00,980 I haven't that gift, I'm afraid. 136 00:07:01,980 --> 00:07:05,980 I think it's beautiful. That you tried. She let you down. 137 00:07:07,220 --> 00:07:11,220 You held your end up. Good for you. 138 00:07:11,980 --> 00:07:15,739 Thank you, Sam. 139 00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:19,740 - Are you trying to have sex with someone here? - No. 140 00:07:27,060 --> 00:07:31,060 OK. It's Ukululu time. We're going to play Truth Songs. 141 00:07:32,220 --> 00:07:33,659 So, fill your cups. 142 00:07:33,660 --> 00:07:35,819 It's time to get to know each other properly 143 00:07:35,820 --> 00:07:38,779 and these are the only two ways I know how to do it. 144 00:07:38,780 --> 00:07:41,179 I have work tomorrow. Ah, we all do. 145 00:07:41,180 --> 00:07:42,899 - Well... - What? 146 00:07:42,900 --> 00:07:44,459 You're a receptionist. 147 00:07:44,460 --> 00:07:45,819 And? 148 00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:49,820 Well... 149 00:07:51,220 --> 00:07:53,819 Sing one about this deliciously spicy curry! 150 00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:57,099 OK. 151 00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,019 ♪ I really liked the curry 152 00:08:00,020 --> 00:08:03,699 ♪ Which is really lucky 153 00:08:03,700 --> 00:08:07,619 ♪ Cos Kate told us to big it up whether we did or not. ♪ 154 00:08:11,580 --> 00:08:13,179 Is that true? 155 00:08:13,180 --> 00:08:14,419 No. 156 00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:16,539 Yes. Who's next?! 157 00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:17,699 Kate do one! 158 00:08:17,700 --> 00:08:18,819 Excellent idea! 159 00:08:18,820 --> 00:08:20,859 - Do one about... - Nothing sexual, please. 160 00:08:20,860 --> 00:08:22,259 ...orgasms! 161 00:08:22,260 --> 00:08:24,259 I'm not going to sing about orgasms! 162 00:08:24,260 --> 00:08:26,499 Come on! 163 00:08:31,100 --> 00:08:35,100 ♪ They feel really nice 164 00:08:37,180 --> 00:08:41,180 ♪ They feel really nice 165 00:08:43,260 --> 00:08:47,260 ♪ I really like orgasms 166 00:08:50,060 --> 00:08:54,060 ♪ They happen down there. ♪ 167 00:09:00,380 --> 00:09:04,380 You nailed it, babe. 168 00:09:05,580 --> 00:09:08,699 I want to do one with Colin, about love. 169 00:09:08,700 --> 00:09:12,700 Hold my hand. 170 00:09:14,540 --> 00:09:18,540 - ♪ Oooooo - Oooooo 171 00:09:19,580 --> 00:09:23,580 ♪ Why am I here? 172 00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:29,700 ♪ Most mornings I wish I was dead. ♪ 173 00:09:36,020 --> 00:09:39,939 Wow. 174 00:09:39,940 --> 00:09:41,299 Fucking amazing. 175 00:09:42,620 --> 00:09:46,620 Second curry. 176 00:09:53,580 --> 00:09:54,699 What's that smell? 177 00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:56,059 It's the next curry. 178 00:09:56,060 --> 00:09:58,899 Ooh, lovely. Why did you tell Lulu about my orgasm thing? 179 00:09:58,900 --> 00:10:01,779 I didn't. Why did you tell everyone to pretend to like my meal? 180 00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:04,779 I didn't. Why did you tell Lulu I've never jizzed? 181 00:10:04,780 --> 00:10:07,539 I didn't! Baby, you can't say jizzed. 182 00:10:07,540 --> 00:10:09,059 Well, she's fucking intuitive then, 183 00:10:09,060 --> 00:10:11,299 picking ME to sing the one song about orgasms. 184 00:10:11,300 --> 00:10:12,379 Lucky I pulled it off. 185 00:10:12,380 --> 00:10:13,979 Later. Please. This one is fish. 186 00:10:13,980 --> 00:10:15,379 It's all in the timing. 187 00:10:15,380 --> 00:10:17,059 Promise me she doesn't know. 188 00:10:17,060 --> 00:10:18,259 I promise. 189 00:10:18,260 --> 00:10:21,499 - Swear on our future children. - I swear. 190 00:10:21,500 --> 00:10:33,900 ♪ Kate can't co-me. ♪ 191 00:10:36,500 --> 00:10:37,899 I was singing about how... 192 00:10:37,900 --> 00:10:41,019 how you can't come to the cinema with Sam and Fred tomorrow. 193 00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:42,579 - Sure. - Seriously, I didn't know. 194 00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:43,779 Seriously, it's OK. 195 00:10:43,780 --> 00:10:47,219 I didn't know. Anthony never tells me anything any more. Seriously. 196 00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:51,220 I'm sorry. 197 00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:56,059 I don't want to talk about it. 198 00:10:56,060 --> 00:10:57,379 OK. 199 00:10:57,380 --> 00:10:59,539 I can get the ukulele if you'd rather sing about it. 200 00:10:59,540 --> 00:11:03,540 - I could fucking murder you sometimes. - Sorry. 201 00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:05,939 Hey, I'm a good listener, though. 202 00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:09,379 - I'm sure you... - What? 203 00:11:09,380 --> 00:11:13,139 I just feel like everyone else can jizz at the drop of a cock. 204 00:11:13,140 --> 00:11:14,499 Tell me about it. 205 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,299 You struggle as well? 206 00:11:16,300 --> 00:11:18,259 Oh, no, sorry. I'm one of the lucky ones. 207 00:11:18,260 --> 00:11:20,579 I get close just looking at The Shard. 208 00:11:20,580 --> 00:11:22,779 Huh... 209 00:11:22,780 --> 00:11:24,379 Lulu, get out, come on. 210 00:11:24,380 --> 00:11:26,619 I can feel you ruining my relationship from here. 211 00:11:26,620 --> 00:11:29,659 It's OK, baby. I know you didn't say anything. We're just chatting. 212 00:11:29,660 --> 00:11:31,099 - About what? - The Shard. 213 00:11:31,100 --> 00:11:33,259 - Get out of there! - We're bonding! 214 00:11:33,260 --> 00:11:36,059 I'm serious! She's a teenage boy, she has nothing to offer! 215 00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:38,139 It's OK, baby. We'll be down in a minute. 216 00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:40,019 I know you didn't tell her anything. 217 00:11:40,020 --> 00:11:42,179 Yeah, well, I don't like it. 218 00:11:42,180 --> 00:11:45,019 Is it really gross for you to talk about all this stuff? 219 00:11:45,020 --> 00:11:47,139 I know you two are like siblings, right? 220 00:11:47,140 --> 00:11:51,019 - No, it's fine. - Siblings... right? 221 00:11:51,020 --> 00:11:52,899 Yes. 222 00:11:52,900 --> 00:11:55,299 Look, the main thing about orgasms... 223 00:11:55,300 --> 00:11:58,259 Oh, fuck's sake. I HAVE jizzed. 224 00:11:58,260 --> 00:12:01,499 I've just never... 225 00:12:01,500 --> 00:12:03,259 ...with Anthony. 226 00:12:03,260 --> 00:12:05,499 - Ooh. - Please don't tell him I told you. 227 00:12:05,500 --> 00:12:07,579 - Course. - I don't want it to mean we're not happy. 228 00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:09,059 It doesn't. 229 00:12:09,060 --> 00:12:11,379 Happy people jizz. 230 00:12:11,380 --> 00:12:14,699 Everyone has a thing. You probably just haven't found yours yet. 231 00:12:14,700 --> 00:12:17,299 You've got to keep experimenting. Don't give up. 232 00:12:19,900 --> 00:12:21,779 Thanks. 233 00:12:21,780 --> 00:12:24,939 (I did actually come in here because I need a poo.) 234 00:12:24,940 --> 00:12:28,940 Sure. 235 00:12:33,100 --> 00:12:34,619 Hey. 236 00:12:34,620 --> 00:12:35,859 What are you doing? 237 00:12:35,860 --> 00:12:37,539 Wow! Nothing. 238 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:41,540 Come on. Tell me, like... Why is this one not right for me? 239 00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:45,099 Too kind? Too successful? 240 00:12:45,100 --> 00:12:46,459 Too attractive? 241 00:12:46,460 --> 00:12:48,499 You've got a bogey. 242 00:12:48,500 --> 00:12:52,500 I know that's not true. 243 00:12:53,100 --> 00:12:55,059 Fuck you. 244 00:12:55,060 --> 00:12:57,499 No, come on. Please, tell me. 245 00:12:57,500 --> 00:12:59,979 - I do think she's right for you. - Yeah? - Yeah. 246 00:12:59,980 --> 00:13:01,259 Thanks. 247 00:13:01,260 --> 00:13:03,579 I'm just not sure you're right for her. 248 00:13:03,580 --> 00:13:07,299 You don't even come together. 249 00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:11,300 I told you that in confidence. 250 00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:15,379 Aw, shit. Lulu... 251 00:13:15,380 --> 00:13:18,379 ...I'm really fucking happy now. 252 00:13:18,380 --> 00:13:22,380 I don't think you are. 253 00:13:25,540 --> 00:13:28,059 Stop trying to fuck Sam. 254 00:13:28,060 --> 00:13:32,060 You're embarrassing yourself and I don't want him to catch anything. 255 00:13:34,940 --> 00:13:38,379 Hey, guys. Sorry to interruptaroo. 256 00:13:38,380 --> 00:13:42,380 You don't know where I can find a little fella called Fred, do you? 257 00:13:51,940 --> 00:13:55,099 - Go on! - No, no way! No, I hardly know you guys. 258 00:13:55,100 --> 00:13:59,100 Look, if I can do a song, then you can! It's rather liberating. 259 00:13:59,140 --> 00:14:02,539 Yeah, it doesn't matter if you can't sing, it's not about that. It's about truth! 260 00:14:02,540 --> 00:14:05,419 Just fucking do it. 261 00:14:05,420 --> 00:14:08,339 Only if Fred gives me the topic. 262 00:14:08,340 --> 00:14:12,340 Ooh, me? Oh, I don't know... I feel under pressure now. 263 00:14:12,580 --> 00:14:14,259 - How about, um... - Cock? 264 00:14:14,260 --> 00:14:15,579 Sam. 265 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:17,619 How about... penguins? 266 00:14:17,620 --> 00:14:19,339 - Lovely! 267 00:14:19,340 --> 00:14:20,779 Excellent choice, Fred. 268 00:14:20,780 --> 00:14:24,780 Classic Fred. 269 00:14:27,900 --> 00:14:31,900 ♪ I'll sing you a song about penguins and... ♪ 270 00:14:32,180 --> 00:14:33,859 Oh, oh, my God. 271 00:14:33,860 --> 00:14:36,939 Oh, no, no! It's good. One more go, one more go. 272 00:14:36,940 --> 00:14:40,940 - Just do it again. - All right, come on. With groove, groove it. 273 00:14:44,540 --> 00:14:48,540 ♪ And I wish that I could sing about those penguins 274 00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:55,820 ♪ But all that I have in my head, yeah 275 00:14:58,700 --> 00:15:01,899 ♪ Is a tune, a tune, a tune 276 00:15:01,900 --> 00:15:05,819 ♪ About the most beautiful creature in the world 277 00:15:05,820 --> 00:15:08,899 ♪ So I guess I got to sing 278 00:15:08,900 --> 00:15:11,419 ♪ So I guess I got to sing 279 00:15:11,420 --> 00:15:15,419 ♪ I got to sing about Fred! ♪ 280 00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:24,339 I want to do one. 281 00:15:24,340 --> 00:15:25,539 You can't beat that! 282 00:15:25,540 --> 00:15:28,179 I think I surprised myself with that one! 283 00:15:28,180 --> 00:15:30,459 Oh-oh-oh-oh! 284 00:15:30,460 --> 00:15:33,499 I'm going to have to strap you in, baby girl. 285 00:15:33,500 --> 00:15:35,819 Oh! 286 00:15:35,820 --> 00:15:39,379 Why am I the only ones drunk? 287 00:15:39,380 --> 00:15:43,099 Cos you drank everyone's wine. 288 00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:45,899 Sam, help me, would you? 289 00:15:45,900 --> 00:15:49,900 - Sam? - Yeah. 290 00:15:50,380 --> 00:15:51,659 So, Lulu... 291 00:15:51,660 --> 00:15:54,299 - Pretty full-on, yeah. - She's trying to piss me off. 292 00:15:54,300 --> 00:15:56,299 She doesn't actually want to have sex with you. 293 00:15:56,300 --> 00:15:59,499 - She does. - She doesn't. Mmm. She does. 294 00:15:59,500 --> 00:16:01,539 She doesn't. 295 00:16:01,540 --> 00:16:03,739 - She does. - I don't have time to do this. 296 00:16:03,740 --> 00:16:06,299 She doesn't. 297 00:16:06,300 --> 00:16:10,139 She doesn't. 298 00:16:10,140 --> 00:16:12,499 Can you carry those in? 299 00:16:12,500 --> 00:16:16,500 So, just to be clear... you still want to bang Lulu? 300 00:16:17,060 --> 00:16:19,259 No! No. 301 00:16:19,260 --> 00:16:21,539 OK, cool! So she's not red zone any more? 302 00:16:21,540 --> 00:16:23,139 - Do what you want, man. - Really? 303 00:16:23,140 --> 00:16:24,699 No! 304 00:16:24,700 --> 00:16:27,219 But, yeah, sure. But no. 305 00:16:27,220 --> 00:16:28,979 - Yeah? - Yeah. 306 00:16:28,980 --> 00:16:32,859 No. Cool? 307 00:16:32,860 --> 00:16:34,139 Are you OK? 308 00:16:34,140 --> 00:16:35,819 No. 309 00:16:35,820 --> 00:16:39,659 That'll keep me busy for a couple of weeks. And then... Colin? 310 00:16:39,660 --> 00:16:41,819 I suppose a drop more can't hurt. 311 00:16:41,820 --> 00:16:45,739 Then I'm whisking Fred away to this lovely little villa 312 00:16:45,740 --> 00:16:47,459 that I've got in Palma. 313 00:16:47,460 --> 00:16:48,939 - Aw, how romantic. 314 00:16:48,940 --> 00:16:50,619 Are we nearly finished? 315 00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:52,179 - Nope, no-one move. 316 00:16:52,180 --> 00:16:55,179 - Ow! Melody, Fred hit me! - Fred, do it again. 317 00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,459 Give me that. I'm so sorry about this, Will. 318 00:16:57,460 --> 00:16:59,539 Don't make crazy Fred come to town, OK? 319 00:16:59,540 --> 00:17:03,299 Oh! 320 00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:05,619 You have ruined the shirt! 321 00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:09,620 It was my shirt! I've ruined MY shirt. And "crazy Fred"? 322 00:17:10,020 --> 00:17:11,379 Oh, you're adorable. 323 00:17:11,380 --> 00:17:13,619 Stop touching me. I'm not adorable. 324 00:17:13,620 --> 00:17:17,139 - I'm a man. - All right, stop showing off, you little squid. 325 00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:18,539 I made you. 326 00:17:18,540 --> 00:17:21,179 Excuse me? 327 00:17:21,180 --> 00:17:23,259 Give me my shirt back. 328 00:17:23,260 --> 00:17:26,099 - What? - I don't think that's necessary, is it? 329 00:17:26,100 --> 00:17:30,100 Now. 330 00:17:33,100 --> 00:17:36,339 All yours. 331 00:17:36,340 --> 00:17:37,939 OK... 332 00:17:37,940 --> 00:17:40,939 Now let's play... 333 00:17:40,940 --> 00:17:44,699 "who's going to have sex tonight?" 334 00:17:44,700 --> 00:17:46,699 Melody and Colin! 335 00:17:46,700 --> 00:17:48,259 That is not what this is. 336 00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:52,139 Oh, come on. We've all seen you sneaking out of Melody's room 337 00:17:52,140 --> 00:17:54,899 like a satisfied little squirrel. 338 00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:57,019 - Come on, Colin. - Aw, Lolita, don't run! 339 00:17:57,020 --> 00:17:59,139 Oh, God, I think I'll, erm... 340 00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:02,859 It's OK, Colin. You're going through a big life change. 341 00:18:02,860 --> 00:18:05,499 You're bound to make very odd decisions. 342 00:18:05,500 --> 00:18:07,059 I understand English, you know. 343 00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:08,459 Why is everyone freaking out? 344 00:18:08,460 --> 00:18:10,579 Zey are lovers. Let zem be! 345 00:18:10,580 --> 00:18:12,179 Is zat offensive, Anthony? 346 00:18:12,180 --> 00:18:14,099 He's not my lover! 347 00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:18,100 He's my muse! 348 00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:25,419 - Please excuse me. 349 00:18:25,420 --> 00:18:26,899 - Merci. 350 00:18:26,900 --> 00:18:28,939 - I warned you he was fragile. - He's an adult. 351 00:18:28,940 --> 00:18:31,659 - Well, he just stormed off like a little baby. - Your muse?! 352 00:18:31,660 --> 00:18:34,779 - Well, I think that's just lovely. - Me, too. - No, you don't. 353 00:18:34,780 --> 00:18:36,779 Like an artist's muse?! 354 00:18:36,780 --> 00:18:38,939 - Just lovely. - Yes, he is! 355 00:18:38,940 --> 00:18:42,419 You think meeting someone like Colin happens to artists all the time?! 356 00:18:42,420 --> 00:18:43,899 He gives SO much. 357 00:18:43,900 --> 00:18:47,539 Yeah, sure, and you just lap it up and just slap it on a canvas. 358 00:18:47,540 --> 00:18:48,619 Pardon? 359 00:18:48,620 --> 00:18:52,620 "His pain is so beautiful." You're using him to indulge yourself. 360 00:18:53,060 --> 00:18:55,939 I am indulging. And what is this? 361 00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:58,219 That is a 4£ bottle of wine. 362 00:18:59,740 --> 00:19:01,899 What did I just say?! That's expensive! 363 00:19:01,900 --> 00:19:03,859 Can we all grow up for a second here, please? 364 00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:06,499 - I can't believe you can't come. - Sorry if I upset you, Melody. 365 00:19:06,500 --> 00:19:08,579 You don't upset me. You bore me. 366 00:19:08,580 --> 00:19:12,580 All you seem to want to do is drink and wank and drink and wank. 367 00:19:12,660 --> 00:19:16,099 Well, at least I don't have to wank other people's pain onto a canvas, 368 00:19:16,100 --> 00:19:19,339 and then shove it in people's faces and call it "my art." 369 00:19:19,340 --> 00:19:21,739 Well, at least I don't have to stare at other people's 370 00:19:21,740 --> 00:19:24,179 miserable, naked bodies to make me feel something. 371 00:19:24,180 --> 00:19:25,379 This is so hot. 372 00:19:25,380 --> 00:19:27,659 Isn't that exactly what you're doing with Colin? 373 00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:29,819 I'm sorry, I'm sorry, should I call him your muse? 374 00:19:29,820 --> 00:19:32,099 Maybe Kate should try staring at a naked Colin 375 00:19:32,100 --> 00:19:33,619 to help her orgasm debut. 376 00:19:33,620 --> 00:19:35,059 I have had an orgasm! 377 00:19:35,060 --> 00:19:37,419 You are all obsessed with sex! 378 00:19:37,420 --> 00:19:40,579 - Don't walk out on this, this is the big one, this is the curr-icane! 379 00:19:40,580 --> 00:19:43,019 I can't bear it, mate. I'm going to have to make her come. 380 00:19:43,020 --> 00:19:44,499 I have had an orgasm! 381 00:19:44,500 --> 00:19:48,500 This is a very delicate mix of three very unusual, sought-after spices. 382 00:19:48,620 --> 00:19:51,819 This is the first time I've managed to make it. Three days to marinate. 383 00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:55,459 - What does it feel like, then? - Oh, leave her alone. - Can we focus on the curries, please? 384 00:19:55,460 --> 00:19:58,179 - You blatantly haven't. - She has! - I have had an orgasm! 385 00:19:58,180 --> 00:20:02,180 She's just never orgasmed with Anthony! 386 00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:08,220 Can we drop... the wind-ups... for a second, Lu?! 387 00:20:17,300 --> 00:20:19,899 OK... 388 00:20:19,900 --> 00:20:23,900 I am just going to gather up all of this negative energy 389 00:20:24,860 --> 00:20:27,699 and I'm just going to pop it in here, OK? 390 00:20:27,700 --> 00:20:31,700 Don't put it in there. I've spent three days marinating! 391 00:20:37,340 --> 00:20:40,619 - No! - Oh, God, it's delicious, it's delicious. 392 00:20:40,620 --> 00:20:43,859 - Come on, baby, let's go to bed. - Try. - Anthony. 393 00:20:43,860 --> 00:20:45,419 - Fuck! - I'll do it, I'll do it! 394 00:20:45,420 --> 00:20:47,339 Aww. Our first fight. 395 00:20:47,340 --> 00:20:51,340 G'day. I'm going to go and get you a big pint of water, OK? 396 00:20:51,580 --> 00:20:54,539 Fred, have you got some cups and some cloths? 397 00:20:54,540 --> 00:20:58,540 Yes. Sure. This way. 398 00:20:59,260 --> 00:21:01,459 Your friends are lunatics. 399 00:21:01,460 --> 00:21:03,579 I know. 400 00:21:03,580 --> 00:21:04,779 Ugh! 401 00:21:10,300 --> 00:21:12,179 Oooh... 402 00:21:12,180 --> 00:21:13,499 Hey. 403 00:21:13,500 --> 00:21:15,579 Ooh. 404 00:21:15,580 --> 00:21:16,859 Hey, hey, hey. 405 00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:19,579 It's tempting, Chuckles, but I'm too full. 406 00:21:19,580 --> 00:21:21,459 Aw, come on. Get your tits out. 407 00:21:21,460 --> 00:21:23,739 We can't. 408 00:21:23,740 --> 00:21:26,019 Sorry. 409 00:21:26,020 --> 00:21:27,899 No! 410 00:21:27,900 --> 00:21:31,419 I'll let you call me Fred! 411 00:21:31,420 --> 00:21:35,420 That was a joke. 412 00:21:47,860 --> 00:21:49,379 I thought you left. 413 00:21:49,380 --> 00:21:50,699 So did I. 414 00:21:50,700 --> 00:21:53,539 - You don't have to be here if you can't handle... - No. 415 00:21:53,540 --> 00:21:57,540 I want to be here. 416 00:21:59,700 --> 00:22:02,739 I want to be the pain in your paintings... 417 00:22:02,740 --> 00:22:06,740 so to speak. 418 00:22:13,260 --> 00:22:17,260 Merci, Colin. 419 00:22:21,900 --> 00:22:23,179 Yup. 420 00:22:23,180 --> 00:22:24,819 That's OK. 421 00:22:24,820 --> 00:22:28,259 Yup. Yup. 422 00:22:28,260 --> 00:22:29,859 This is humiliating. 423 00:22:29,860 --> 00:22:33,860 No, baby, it's not. We've just got to find our... thing. 424 00:22:34,860 --> 00:22:37,659 I'm sorry. 425 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:40,219 I don't want to... Whoo! 426 00:22:40,220 --> 00:22:42,299 ...cry in front of you, but... 427 00:22:42,300 --> 00:22:45,219 No, no... That's fine. 428 00:22:45,220 --> 00:22:48,019 Maybe we're just going to have to admit that we're not... 429 00:22:48,020 --> 00:22:50,859 Keep crying. Don't stop crying... 430 00:22:50,860 --> 00:22:52,819 ...compatible... - Yeah! 431 00:22:52,820 --> 00:22:56,820 - Keep going. - ..together. - Think about how sad that makes you. 432 00:22:57,020 --> 00:22:58,979 Keep crying! 433 00:22:58,980 --> 00:23:01,219 Cry! Cry! 434 00:23:01,220 --> 00:23:03,739 Oh, yeah! Please, cry! 435 00:23:03,740 --> 00:23:05,419 Oh, you're sad! Yeah! 436 00:23:05,420 --> 00:23:09,420 Ugh! UGH! 437 00:23:13,580 --> 00:23:17,580 - Did you...? - Yep. 438 00:23:18,100 --> 00:23:21,580 Yeah, I did.32436

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