All language subtitles for 1The Monkey (2025)

You know, you've got a fair amount of
blood on you there, sir.

Oh.

Yeah, it's not even mine.

There was just this... nevermind.

Hey, listen, I need
you to take this thing off

my hands and just make
it someone else's problem.

Yeah, I mean, I thought my boys were gonna
love it, but... Let me tell you man

they will not.

No, it's not

Uhh, a toy.

So, don't ever call it that.

It's a... it's... actually, I don't know
exactly what it is.

Besides, it appears to be broken.

See, the drumstick seems to be stuck in
the up position.

You do not want the goddamn drumstick to
come down.

Okay?

Because when it does, I promise you...

We are all fucked to hell.

Okay?

Woah..!

Well sir, I can't speak for you, but...
I don'tfeel especially fucked to hell.

I don't know if every father passes some
secret horror onto his kids

But mine sure did.

My name is Hal Shellburn.

This is me and my twin brother Bill.

Well..

This is us before everything.

Bill was the kind of kid that would say
"shake on it", but then pull his hand back

and pretend to slick his hair.

He was older than me by three minutes and
ate most of my mom's placenta

so that made him my big brother.

A role he took seriously and treated me
like shit whenever he got the chance.

I didn't mean to tell you

Mom said she hates you because you made
dad leaveand now she has to go on dates.

But I managed to love
him anyway, even if I did

sometimes fantasize
about being an only child.

I hate you, Bill Shellburn.

My mom raised us on her own for as long as
she could at least.

And my mom, well, I can remember her
perfectly like it was yesterday.

Your father..

Well, your father went out for a pack of
cigarettes and never came back.

Just made like an egg, and scrambled.

And sure, sure, I could have
been one of his stewardesses,

but of course the deadbeat
never took me anywhere.

Just brought back Swiss cuckoo clocks and
bonsai trees.

Knick-knacks and souvenirs
to stuff our closets full

and one day my darling boys, all of that
horse shit will be yours.

We know my mom thought
it was a bunch of junk but,

for Bill and me, dad's closet
was full of clues to who he was.

There she is

Deadbeat's disguise.

The hell's that thing from?
Paris, France or something?

It says "organ grinder monkey - like life"

You mean life-like dumb shit.

No..
What?

Hey, give me that thing.

Here.

Do you think this does junk if I turn
this?

Don't Bill, it's dad's.

Dad's gone, fuck face!

And I'm his next of skin, so legally,
everything in here's mine.

Stupid thing's broken, anyway.

Don't come in our room, dumb shit.

Shotgun!

Obviously.

Christ, what's worse than a blind date.

I'd rather take my chances

and kiss a goddamn
frog and see what happens.

Okay, boys.

No soda after you brush your teeth.

And no fires.

And no video games because of the last
fire.

I tried to tell him no fires, but these
boys are nothing but willish.

Thank you, babysitter Annie.

I'll be home by midnight.

Okay, boys, got only one rule for tonight.

Keep your hands off the hot parts of the
table, okay?

I'll try, but... I'm just a man.

Oh Bill, knock it off.

Holy shit!

Maybe an experience like that could have
brought me and Bill closer.

But it turned out one freak tragedy wasn't
gonna be nearly enough.

How is her head still together?

Shh! don't think about it too much.

Ohh, fuck! Uhh..oh yeah!

Today, we're here with Annie Wilkes.

Uhh, gone by accident

Rather in an accident because,
you know, there's no accidents.

Is there a divine plan?

Sure, you know.

Maybe.

Call it a coin toss, you know

heads or tails.

But not Annie's head because that is..
Uhh.. separate.

That's a separate issue.

You know? Why her?

Right?

Why Annie?

Why not you?

Or you?

Everything for a reason.

Yeah, totally.

And it is what it is.

Uh.. It is what it is.

The word of the Lord.

Everything is an accident.

Or nothing is an accident.

Either way.

Same thing.

It's not if or even how

it's only when.

Everybody dies.

And that's life.
I'll die..

And you will both die.

And all of your friends and their parents
and all of their pets and everybody.

Some of us peacefully in our sleep.

And some of us horribly violently tied up
with clothesline.

Screaming through duct tape over our
mouths and all that jazz.

And to hell with it!

C'mon, let's go dancing!

It might've been on the day of a funeral

but that probably was the happiest day of
my life.

It's funny how quickly that can change.

Hey!

Kid.

Your brother says your dad left your mom.

Flew out to Paris, France

To buy cigarettes because you're a big fat
baby

who cried all the time.

And man,

don't your moms deserve better?

I mean, don't she?

So I guess that means your mom will be
wearing the pants in the house now, huh?

I think that's how it works, yeah.

Oh, but see, you're wearing pants.

And two people can't be wearing the pants
in the house at the same time.

So looks like you got yourself a bit of a
pants problem, kid.

Honey, I'm making PB & J.

Oh, wait.

How am I? Oh I'm great. I love slaving
over my two sons all day long

Mom!

Why did you put dad's weird monkey in
our room?

You know I don't go in there anymore
since I found that stiff sock.

Oh, yeah.

You didn't have anything to do with my
babysitter's head right?

That'd be like..
Yo!

You really got the hots for that thing,
huh?

I don't.

It's all good.

You can have it, but all you gotta do
is say you wanna marry it

I don't want to marry it.

Say, "I want to be Mrs. Stupid Monkey"

I want to be Mrs. Stupid Monkey...

Now say...

"I wanna suck it's banana"

No, Bill..

No.

Say it or I'll eat the rest of your
placenta, bitch.

I wanna suck it's banana..

Alright.

We have a deal.

You can have the monkey.

Idiot.

Yo, Mrs. Torrance!

Hal Shelburn's jerking his monkey
under his desk.

Honey, I'm making devil's food.

I don't fucking want any!!

Language!
Who talks to their mother like that?

What are you a sailor

in a ship yard?

You!

It's because of you that deadbeat
Bill did this to me.

You know who I'm talking about,
don't you?

That asshole kid who lives in here with
me?

That's Bill.

You want to know something else?

I wish Bill was dead.

Hey mom, are you home?

Is dinner ready?

Mom!

Not even making it yet?

What the fuck?!

The doctors call what happened
to my mama "boomerang aneurysm"

but I was the only one who knew what it
really was.

They said chances of it happening were one
in 44 million.

And that's just another way to say.

It has to happen to somebody.

And that's how it works.

You turn the key and the drumsticks go up.

They come down again when it chooses
who it wants to kill next.

It doesn't take requests.

It kills who it wants when it feels like it

and it doesn't owe you an explanation.

It's true what it says on the box

it's just like life.

Son, perhaps it's best..

Shut up!

Hey mom!

Mom, wake up.

Mom?

Mom, that's a funny joke.

Mom!

Wake up..

Okay you can keep talking..

You know your aunt Ida and your uncle Chip

never wanted kids.

No.

Always just kind of
prefer the life where you sit down

and you don't stand
up again until you want to.

Also, we're swingers, but..
Oh well.

I want you to know we're gonna do our
very best with you boys

it's just that our very best might be..
Pretty bad.

The fuck?

I put the pieces in a garbage bag and made
sure it got on the garbage truck

and I assumed that would be the end of it.

After that, Bill and I were never the
same.

I mean, we looked the same because we
were twins and... You know what I mean.

Aunt Ida and Uncle Chip picked up Bill and
me and moved us to Maine.

And I guess I hoped we'd left the worst of
it behind us.

They say everything can be replaced.

They say every distance is not near.

So I remember every face...

Of every man who put me here

You didn't take off your suit,
Bill?

If I take it off then I'll have to put it
back on as soon as there's another funeral

or if I don't take it off then I won't
have to put it back on.

So there won't be any more funerals.

Sleep tight, you two.

Why the hell did you bring it?

I didn't,

I chopped it up.

Doesn't look chopped up to me.

I'm telling you, Bill.

It's a bad monkey.

It's a bad, magic, killer monkey.

You think it killed babysitter Annie?

Maybe?

Probably, I don't know.

I was going to marry that girl.

I know you would, Bill.

We should try it on purpose to see if
anyone else we know dies.

No, no, we shouldn't.

I mean, what if it gets to one of us?

Then I promise to pretend to be sad when
you're dead.

Yeah, me too.

You think it could kill the person who
turns the key or not?

How the hell should I know?

Do you think mom turned it?

I'm going to try it.

Don't, Bill.

It was a hunting accident, but not the
usual kind.

Uncle Chip was trampled
by a stampede of 67

wild horses in his sleeping
bag on a camping trip.

I overheard the undertaker say
that when they dumped the body out

it looked like someone
had dropped kick a cherry pie.

I don't mind much that Uncle Chip's gone.

He was kind of an asshole.

I just mind more that I feel pretty good
it wasn't me.

But it's got to be done, you know?

To keep it away from the people who might
feel really good about using it.

The Nazis and Russians
and "Iranqis" and whatnot.

We knew that it couldn't be destroyed, so
we hoped that we could maybe contain it.

Just get rid of it.

And make it go to fuck away.

And for a long time, anyway, it really
seemed like it had.

I haven't seen the monkey since we threw
it down the well.

But it feels like only a matter of time
before it comes back.

This is me today.

I'm pretty much lost all contact with
Bill, and I'm good with that.

He was kind of an asshole, anyway.

I don't have any friends, and I do my best
to stay away from family.

For fear that if the monkey returns,
it will kill someone close to me.

But staying away from family,
that's easier said than done.

Hey, Dwight.

Hal, man.

Come in, come in.

Oh, no, it's cool.

I got to run early today.

I got to pick up my kid.

Wait, you got a kid?

Shit, man, that sucks.

Does it live with you?

Uh, no.

No, he doesn't.

But I get to see him once a year,
so I'm taking him to Horror Heaven.

Roller coasters I guess.

Once a year, shit, man, that sucks.

I bet you ex wife some type of megabitch,
huh?

Oh, no, the once a year thing
that was my idea.

It turns out I'm kind of a bad influence.

Here comes trouble.

Who you?

It's not like, you know, "I've beheld a
pale horse, and on it was a pale rider

and the rider's name was, you know,
Death"

but, yeah, there has been some death.

Shit, man, that sucks.

"Hal"

Feel that parental energy
transferred from you to me.

Petey's been asking about you
more and more Hal.

Man, it's breaking our hearts.

About me?

What about me?

What?

Because you're his father,
and he's doing a family tree

school project, and like it or not,
you're one of the branches.

Look, I care about Petey.

I do.

I care about him a lot.

Like, a lot.

Just now, when we were on the couch
together, I took your power.

Woah, woah, woah, I never said you
could take my power.

It doesn't matter anymore.

Ted has decided to legally adopt Petey

what?

And once the adoption is finalized

it won't be necessary for
you to see Petey at all.

But you can't just do that.

He can't just do that.

As the leading expert in my field..

Can't I?

Listen, you and Petey have this time.

So just take the week, lock in some nice
memories, and then cleanly cut it off.

Like a vestigial tail.

That's what you want, isn't it?

No.

It's not what I want.

I want to spend time with Petey.

It's just, you know.. Vestigial?

It means something that has become
functionless

and as a result, it's no longer
necessary.

I know what it means, Ted.

I'm sure you do.

I do.

Well, I have your power.

Well, I peed in one of your bushes
on the way in, so..

Now, this is the part where
I suggest that we arm wrestle.

Arm wrestle for what?

For all the marbles.

And by marbles, I am of course referring
to your little balls.

My...

Honey.

Oh, Petey.

Hey.

Hey, buddy.

What are you guys talking about?

What do you mean it reminds you of your dad?

You're talking about the shit eating grin or
the hairy back and arms?

Did you ever wonder where he is?

Uh, dad, I mean.

Baby, that ain't worth it.

But if you're really looking
for an answer

I'd have to go with either at a card
table or under a hooker.

Ugh sick mom..

come on, gross.

Hey Beauchamps, honey.

You want a drag?

But you're still thinking
of selling that monkey thing

to the nut who never leaves his house?

I mean have you ever even met this guy
face-to-face?

Sounds like a real fucking pervert to me.

So, do you have any brothers or sisters?

Is that your family tree thing?

What gave it away?

Okay.

So, brothers, sisters?

Yes, no?

Uh, no.

No to both?

Yeah, no, neither.

Only child

just like me.

And what's your mom's name?

Lois.

My mom's name is... Lois

It's getting kind of late

We should get you some dinner, huh?

Only if you want me to like survive.

Cool.

Everybody dies.

Christ.

Hello.

Well hello Dumb Shit

Bill.

I can't be the only person
who calls you Dumb Shit

How did you know how to reach me,
Bill?

I haven't heard from you in what,
five years?

I haven't seen you in like ten?

9 and 11 and those are just numbers

The police gave me yours.

What do you mean the police?

I have news.

Aunt Ida, is no more.

Oh, shit.

I guess she was kind of old.

Was she sick or something?

Well, actually it seems the old girl was
having somehwat of a renaissance.

Putting her house on the market,
cleaning out her closet

The nice young policewoman I spoke to
used the phrase "freak accident"

Okay, and what?

Someone has to go through her belongings
and you're the next of kin.

Technically, you're the next of kin,
Bill.

And this is my week with Petey,
so no.

Your week??

That's all you get with your son?

Also, you're weak.

What do you want, Bill?

Go to aunt Ida's house and
make sure it isn't there.

It is at the bottom of a well.

It can teleport and
you know it.

Why don't you bring Petey along,
let him see you being brave for a change?

Jesus.

What do fathers and their estranged sons
say to eachother?

"Roadtrip"

Why would it be at aunt Ida's anyway?

Because it attached itself to our family
and likes to kill us.

And I don't want to die, and presumably

you don't want Petey to die either.

And what if I find it, huh?
What am I supposed to do?

Drop it from a fucking plane?

It'd probably bounce.

No, you never let it out of your sight
again.

So no one turns the key.

Presumably you don't want Petey to..
Stop talking about Petey!

The monkey must be vanquished.

Why don't you vanquish it?

Huh, Bill?

You're smaller, you go.

Bill...Fuck!

Holy fuck!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.

Fuck! What the fuck is that, a leg?

Petey

Wake up, come on
we got to go.

Let's go.

What time is it?

What the fuck?

Hey, language.

And we got to go.

All right.

They were there.

There was a thing outside.

It wasn't a thing.

It was woman

And either way, we got to split.

All right.

So come on, let's go.

It's the middle of the night.

Are you high?

No.

I wish Jesus Christ.

No, don't do drugs.

I mean it.

But come on

let's go.

Hurry up.

I'm going to bed.

We've got to make like eggs and scramble!

Hey, Petey.

Sorry about that.

It's just that my aunt Ida died

and I've got to deal with a lot of her stuff.

Can I ask you a question?

I really rather you didn't.

How'd your mom die?

Is this for your family tree
thing, because usually

family trees are about
the whos and the whens

not the whys and the..
you know, hows.

Was your aunt the one who raised you
after your mom died?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, she did.

Maybe you could take me to your aunt's house
with you.

I could help you with your stuff..

You're not coming with me Petey.

Why not?

Because it's depressing.

All right?

We're supposed to go to a theme park.

Not into, you know, darkness and death.

I know about the adoption Hal.

Oh.

And so you can either just cut me off and
cut this off.

Or you can spend the rest of the

very little time that we have left
together

together.

Wonder which one Lois would've chosen.

What are you doing in here all alone now?

Or do I not want to know?

Just thinking, I guess.

Oh, yeah?

About what?

I don't know.

The future.

You got any advice?

Well, take care of your teeth.

And take care of your gut.

Take life as it comes.

You know, the worst thing you can do is
try to force it.

But really, I think that the most
important thing for you to remember is...

Try not to kill everybody around you.

Aah!

Petey!

Petey?

Hey, Petey, buddy.

Check it out.

There's a place in town

they do skydiving lessons.

I feel like it's one of those things

where you're either really good at it

or you aren't.

only takes one lesson to find out.

Hey, funny.

That's funny.

Yeah?

Well you're kinda funny too Hal

oh, and they do weddings.

Hey, uh.

Do me a favor.

All right?

Wait in the car.

While I deal with this..

What?

No way.

I want to see your old room.

Like they do in the movies

no, Petey.

Why not?

Just because...
Because I said so.

Alright.

Fine.

Then I have to go number two.

What?

Why didn't you go at the motel?

There's a lot you don't know about me Hal.

For instance, I'm one of those kids that
can only go poo in a house.

Are you being serious?

That's a tough bet to lose Hal.

Jesus Christ.

Hi.

Hey there.

Sorry.

Oh, window won't go down.

Hey there.

How are you?

I'm Barbara.

You must be Hal Shelburn.

Your brother Bill Shelburn said you'd be
coming.

Oh, yeah.

Right, right.

Hi Barbara.

That brother Bill of yours is quite the
character, isn't he?

Yeah.

Your brother Bill, I mean.

Yes, yes.

He's quite the character.

Yeah.

Wow, who's this little slugger?

Oh, this is my son Petey.

Oh, hello there.

Oh, no thanks Barbara.

I'm just a kid who doesn't buy many
houses.

But I also didn't know that I have an
uncle.

So, yeah.

Thanks for that.

It's funny because I actually asked Hal
here if he had any siblings yesterday.

But he flat out lied to my face.

But it's cool.

He's only gonna be my dad for like a few
more days anyway.

Because he's being swapped out for a
leading expert.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Okay.

Well.

So no card.

Okay.

No card, yeah.
Let's see the house!

Were you and your aunt very close?

Sure. Very.

Is this all her stuff?

I feel like she had more stuff.

Oh, well, we did have that estate sale
the day after she died.

We had a great turnout too.

Must have made over a hundred dollars.

Right.

Now, let's see.

That would have been on Sunday.

Because ever since Monday, things have
been a bit messy around here.

Yeah, your aunt, of course, was Monday.

And then, oh Lord, first thing Tuesday,
it was Mitch McDonald.

And then Wednesday was Bert Bergerson.

And then Nancy Risoli.

Well there aren't any cobras in Maine,
I mean.. are there?

Well, there was the one.

No, everyday since Monday, at least one
Casco local has just.. Poof!

Sometimes two, or three, or four,
or even five, Casco locals have just poof

and poof and poof.

Great, yeah.

Yeah, no.

I get it.

Can we look at the other closet?

Is this way I think?

Absolutely.

Follow me.

Poof.

You're fucking twins?

No, my mother used to always say whenever
there was a plane crash, or a school bus

going off into the river and mass
fatalities, or what have you.

She used to always say, looks like God's
bowling strikes tonight.

Oh, that's odd.

I don't remember locking this.

Hey uh, you wouldn't
happen to remember if my aunt

had a wind-up toy
monkey at the yard sale?

No, I don't think so.

Oh, not a cherished childhood memory now,
was it?

Oh, first little furry friend filled with
whimsy and wonder.

No, it is.

No, no big deal.

Oh, okay.

Nope, not that one.

How we doing with that key?

Oh, don't you worry your pretty little head.

Oh mercy, did I say that out loud?

Watch out!

You are pretty, though.

You know what?

I actually think we should go down and..

Looks like I did my own little
process of elimination.

No, no, no, no!

Is everything ok in there?

Yeah, everything's fine.

And you were just standing there,
hands to yourself.

Is that right?

Yeah, that's right.

And you knew there was a gun in the
house or not so much?

Uh, no.

I'm going to have to ask you.

Don't leave town until
we can figure a few things out.

What? No, no, no, officer.

I promised my son that I was going to take
him to Horror Heaven.

Uhm actually officer.

We moved off going to Horror Heaven.

This is obviously far more important.

Smart kid.

Find a motel.

I'd say stay here, but it's a goddamn mess
in there.

I mean, have you actually been up there?

It's like that restaurant.

Spaghetti City.

Yeah.

Hey bud, you want to go wait in the car?

That's your favorite thing for me to do
anyway, isn't it?

Just stay away.

Hello?

Hal Shelburn please,
if he's available.

Bill?

Thank goodness, and Petey,
is he available too?

Yeah, look, we're fine, but
the monkey's not here.

Aunt Ida had a goddamn yard sale

so it could have been, but now it could
be anywhere with anyone.

Well, that's not good.

That's bad.

Yeah, it was all kind of shit happening in
town.

People dying in not normal ways.

Police told me I can't leave.

Go to a motel.

Await my signal.

Await your fucking signal??

Wait, Bill, where are you?

Bill, are you living in town?

Shelburn..

Shelburn..

Nope

Mrs. Monkey?

Hello, if this is in regards to my ad

I'm happy the report that my quest
for finding my beloved toy monkey is over.

Thank you for calling,
and be safe out there.

At the very moment you slipped from my fingers

I suddenly knew the terrible truth about
everything.

That my dumb shit brother had turned your
key and killed my mom.

So I went back to get you as soon as I
could, but you were gone.

Leaving behind a sign for me and only me,
that one day you'd be back.

And so I waited.

And for the longest time, there was
nothing.

100% pure medical grade nothingness.

There you were.

Suddenly, everywhere I looked
you were there

As constant as the sun,
the moon and the stars.

As if you had always been looking down on
me.

Letting me know what I had always
wanted to be true.

That you'd come back to help me
seek my revenge.

I returned to the places
where I thought you might be

foolishly believing that I
could make you appear again.

That it was I who might find you again.

So I made myself ready for your return.

Re-working my old childhood funeral suit
in anticipation of, well, more funerals.

And so that I might once again,
bear witness to your terrible glory.

So I looked and behold, a pale horse.

And his name that sat on him was death.

Mrs. Monkey.

And now here we are.

Together at last, with only
one thing left to do.

In your infinite wisdom.

I trust your flaming sword of
righteousness.

will cut the foul air,
and smite the right person.

And I know you know exactly what I'm
talking about.

Shit man, that sucks.

What?

Uhm, it's Ricky!

What is it?

I'm extremely busy.

Well, I hope this isn't weird,
but I was wondering, maybe I could give

you your 15 bucks back and instead I could
just keep the toy monkey thing.

It's not a toy, don't ever call it that.

Right! No I thought the same thing too.

It just sort of makes me think about my dad

Which I know is kind of a weird thing
for a guy to say to another guy

Does it hurt very much when you think
Ricky?

Well, uh uh, well, well...

Did you know that 27% of all
English-speaking people will either say,

oh shit, or holy shit before they die?

Now it's funny, because death is the one
big thing that'll happen to all of us.

And yet we still can't help but be
somehow surprised by it

Right on, man.

So anyway, I saw your brother

He looks like you, but that's like,
uh...

That's like your nephew then huh?

What if Petey turned the key?

So, could I have it back?

Never.

I employed you to find the monkey
not to fall in love with it.

Now fuck off!

Fuck you, man!

Hey ma' you home or you at the factory?

Lousy deadbeat!

Yo, Beauchamps!

You got any extra bullets?

What caliber?

You still got some of Barbara's
blood on you

Yeah.

Accidents happen..

Can I ask you a question?

Nope.

You ever killed a man?

I..

Jesus.

Does mom know?

No I..

I haven't killed anybody.

Of course, I haven't killed anybody.

Look, when we get back
to the motel, I'm going to call

your mom, and I'm going
to tell her what happened.

She'll think I'm not safe to be
around, and.. She'll be right.

So, Ted will just adopt me and

you'll never have to see me again?

You're better off with Ted, alright?

Believe me.

Fuck you man..

Hey, Petey..

Well, I'm here if you need me.

You just do your thing in the
bathroom, okay?

and uh..

If you want to have a talk, we can have a
proper talk, all right, buddy?

Yes.

It's me.

You have it on you.

I don't know, maybe

come on, Bill.

Mrs. Monkey?

I know you are, but what am I?

Stop turning the key!

Its arms aren't fucking
long enough or articulate

enough to reach back there
itself, so somebody has to.

And also, no.

Jesus fucking Christ.

Bill, these are innocent people.

Look, I don't care about me.

All that matters is that Petey is safe.

So stop turning it.

You want me to stop turning the key?

Bring Petey to me so he can
turn it instead.

What?

No, why?

The person who turns the key never dies.

You've known that since we were kids
haven't you Hal?

What?

What are you talking about?

Where are you, Bill?

If you want Petey to be safe, all Petey has
to do is turn the key and keep turning

the key forever and ever and ever
and Petey will never die.

Listen to me, Bill, alright?

Let me get Petey out of here

then we'll talk.

Alright? We will figure out what we're
going to do.

Either I keep turning the key
or Petey turns the key.

Call me back when you've
made your decision.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, Bill.

Hey, Petey , Petey

hey, Petey

hey, Petey

hey, buddy, we got to go, alright?

I got to take you back to your mom's.

Petey, open the door

come on.

Petey!

Petey, open the door.

Come on, we got to go right now.

Jesus Christ!

Don't have a heart attack.

Or do, you know?

You want out of my life so bad it might
just be a nice shortcut.

What the fuck?

Why didn't you answer the door?

Why would you even
have a kid if all you're

going to do is just keep
yourself away from me?

I didn't exactly know what I was doing.

Alright? I was just a stupid,
dumb kid.

So I was an accident?

Is that what you're saying?

Everything is an accident.

Yes.

Wow, nice one.

Great to hear.

I..that's not what I...

Yes, it was an accident, Petey.

But you're not a mistake.

I'm so glad you're here with me.

You're very precious to me.

That's why I stay away because I come with
all sorts of weird baggage.

And I don't want you to have to
deal with that.

Like what?

Like bad stuff, Petey.

Like evil stuff.

Stuff that I got from my dad and I don't
want to pass it on to you.

What are you talking about?

Like what?

Hold on..

Open up, it's motherfucking police!

All right, all right, all right,
got it.

Shut up!

Shut up and hands up!

Relax.

Just relax.

Get the keys.

Come on!

Okay, okay, okay,
okay, okay, okay, okay.

We're gonna go for a little drive, ok?

Ok, alright!

Alright, stop here.

Where are we?

Huh?

Where are we?

At your brother's house!

Or his.. fortress.

Don't pretend like you don't know
where we are.

I don't know, alright, we're...

You know, we're estranged.

Shit, man, that sucks.

Thanks.

Shut up!

Okay.

You... You go inside.

You make nice with your uncle.

You get me the monkey and
you bring it out.

Okay?

What monkey?

It's got a little red vest.

And it holds a drum and I need it.

What does this guy now about a monkey
and I don't?

He doesn't know about the monkey and he's
not going in there.

It's a toy monkey?

Don't call it that, alright?

It's not.

It's evil.

It's basically the devil, alright?

It's a toy monkey.

I was gonna tell you when you were older.

Okay.

You've been a god damn deadbeat dad
because of a toy monkey?

What the fuck?

Hey, language.

And yes, but that's why we have to get as
far away from this place as possible.

You got to hope that you get that god damn
monkey because I'm gonna shoot this guy.

All right, just let me...

Let me go in there with him.

No!

There is a doggy door
around back and your kid

better hope that he's
scrawny enough to fit.

You don't call the cops or do anything.

You get in there.

You get me the monkey.

Or I swear I'm gonna shoot you both
like a lot of times.

He's not going in there.

Shut up!

Alright.

Go.

Hal

this is some fucked up shit.

I know.

So whatever you do

don't turn the key in the monkey's back.

Okay, okay.

Fuck.

Huh.

That's kinda cool

I guess.

You're not really a cop, right?

Shut up.

Of course not.

I hate cops.

And my dad was a cop.

Still is.

For all I know.

You know, my mom said
he was out chasing pussy

but I'm all like there's pussy
here in town, you know?

Yeah.

Whatever.

He left.

And that's why I hate cops.

But also they're cops, you know?

Which is the best reason to hate cops.

What the fuck?

What the hell is that doing there?

Light it with your brights.

Hit it with my brights, okay.

Oh, gross.

Shut it off.

Shut it off.

Shut it off.

I'm shutting it off, Jesus.

In your infinite wisdom

I trust your flaming sword of righteousnes

will cut the foul air and strike the
right person and only the right person.

Uncle Bill?

Petey, what a nice surprise.

You okay?

Who me?

Yeah.

You.

It's been a long time since anyone's
asked me that.

And now that you mention it

no.

I'm not okay.

That was my favorite toy from childhood.

It's supposed to play the drums,
but I think it's stuck.

Would you fix it for me?

It was your grandfather's you know.

He brought it home from one of his trips.

He was a pilot.

And he was a Petey too

did you know it?

Hal never tells me anything.

Of course he doesn't.

So this is it, then, huh?

The thing that messed everyone up

How could it?

It's just a toy.

Why don't you try turning it?

Probably just needs a different touch.

Here.

Turning the key is just simply something
the Shelburn men

have been doing for generations.

A tradition, if you will.

But if it's not for you, then it's not for
you.

What does it do?

Turn the key

see what happens

you want me to back up?

No! Don't fuckin' move!

Hey, okay, okay.

Is it working?

Man, this stupid cop hat

it's crazy itchy..

What?

Jesus fucking Christ!

Let's be careful with that pistol,
huh?

Yeah.

Totally.

Yeah, great.

Holy shit.

Fuck!

What the fuck?

Petey where are you?

Dad!

Petey!

Turn it again.
Turn the goddamn key right now!

What?

No.

Then give me the fucking monkey right now.

That's it!
I'm not asking nicely anymore.

Do it.

Kill him.

Kill my dumb-shit, brother!

And do it now!

God..damn you!

Strike the goddamn drum!

God..

Fuckin'..

I command you!

Fuck!

God damn it!

God!

How are you so goddamn strong??

Hey.

Hey, Petey.

Jesus Christ.

Thank God. Come on.

God!

Damn it!

What did I do wrong?

Are you mad at me?

What is that?

Christ!

Fuck! God!

What the..?

Bill.

Fuck..

The drumstick's still up Petey.

Hello, dumb shit.

That's all you can say at a time like
this?

You fucker.

Dumb shit's what you are.

Fuck.

Fuck you.

Jesus Christ, Bill.

You were really trying to kill me,
were you?

Of course I was.

That's what all this carnage was for?

Could have killed Petey.

Could have killed my fucking son.

For what? Why?

Because you killed my mom.

I know you wanted to kill me.

But the goddamn thing doesn't take
requests, obviously.

I've been turning the key
with you mind for days

Nothing...

Listen, Bill.

It's not my fault.

It wasn't anybody's fault.

None of us deserved what happened to us.

We just happened to be there when it did.

Mommy?

I'm sorry, Bill.

But I guess I gotta go now.

Everybody dies.

And that's life.

I'm sorry your mom died.

Fuckin' sucks.

I know how you feel

She was my mom too.

Oh yeah.

I guess she was.

Never thought about it like that.

Innocent mistake I guess.

Sure.

Makes sense though, you know?

We're brothers and twins.

Right?

Sorry.

I wish we could have been there
for eachother when we were kids.

But we're here now.

What do you say, Bill?

Brothers again?

Sure.

I'm sorry.

So what? You two are on some
kind of roadtrip or something?

Yeah.

Kind of a...
Father-son road trip.

Right?

Cool. I would like to have done that.

With somebody at least once.

So come with us.

Jesus!

Fuck!

So Uncle Bill pretty much... wiped out
half the town where you grew up huh?

Yeah.

You know I get that everybody dies.

And that's life

but this is like everybody dies.

You know? At at the same time.

So...

What do you wanna do now?

I guess we gotta figure out what we're
gonna do with the monkey.

We keep it close.

We accept that it's ours and we hold on
tight.

Hey, I just got an idea of what we should
do right now.

Let's go dancing.

Dancing?

Yeah.

Like with our bodies?

Where did that shit come from?

Comes from your grandmother

Lois.

Cool.

Yeah that's cool.

Fixed by Kush <3