Original subtitles

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find day

Marshall lose your horse lost both

horses by Joe 8 and a/4 Miles back three

dirty- Neck Road agents with bandanas

over their foul mouths what about your

guns I never wear

sidearms except in the hands of an

authorized peace officer the Western six

shooter is an Assassin's Implement and

personally I have no ambition to be

provoked into letting some professional

Gunslinger murder me or possibly commit

homicide

myself well I wish every young man in

this territory had your good sense I'm

uh Deputy Marshall Sam buckard delighted

sir delighted my own

name well I guess around these parts I'm

generally known as um the dude or

occasionally For Eyes permit a traveler

to go under the titles he's earned um

tell me uh how did you know what

happened exactly 8 and A4 miles back I

know the length of my stride usually

keep count I gather from their filthy

conversation there's a community

somewhere up ahead called uh housefly

that's another 9 miles and that's

horsefly youly dragon

fly well ride and walk that's all right

Marshall I need the exercise builds the

physical

Constitution foot supports the hand the

hand serves the mind the mind is the man

himself well anyway up first now I'll

make it on my own Marshall it contest

with myself oh it's dangerous reason to

blame um it uh it might be prudent if

you'd uh put those eyeglasses in your

pocket when you go into horse fli

prudent until I got these I had no

conception how beautiful the world

was good day to you

sir

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h

what do you have Marshall oh water about

a gallon oh it's too much alkaline and

i' give you the

fantards looking for somebody Marshall

I'm living a prisoner at Roswell that's

for water

but that drunk out there keeps thinking

the tarantul that got it in for

him little stud

session nice quiet Town well we get it

Lively Sunday

nights somebody call a v Stranger in

here ined himself holding five

Deuces my oh

my we got the all with

us I was wondering where's your local

Constable boys ain't got around the name

in one yet I do what I can to keep order

name Str trigger to my

friends put that down on my tail that

was by my own in case I should ever read

the man's name on a

warrant

Dr you should have seen

it if you had this here warrant of yours

with my name on it just what would you

do Marshall I take you dead or

alive be a pleasure just any time Mutual

[Laughter]

anytime

most stylish accommodations in the hotel

take by and climb out on the back here

and jump off I bought a double

room

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oh comeo the bedding clean

clean smell it just been disinfector

with coal oil I smell

it fet a holla for Danforth if you want

anything

Marshall after I uh drink this up that

is hey you might try taking your boots

off before you go to bed guest is liable

for any fresh spur holes in the

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mage

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kid got nerve for a Pender maybe he's

just ignorant leave him be French he may

make good out around here you preaching

again

Hungerford looks like I'm going to have

to show you boys how this

works Bo as you listen here to me in

horsefly a dude always does exactly like

he's told to you Savvy little fun for

the boys Savvy all right now start cake

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walking

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you his bodyguard I guess my duties

cover that but now I'm here on

government

business we've been trying your boy for

size a new pair of Bo

you can see right that's lucky for both

of you and boys if you're finished with

your fun this round is on

[Applause]

me this cuss ain't got no M haven't I

heard your voice somewhere $20 gold

piece what do you have Mister

water 9 hours ago three Brave bold bad

men left me in the desert without my

horses or cines need I add they had

their faces

covered ask for water oh well there's

too much alkaline in this stuff you

can't drink it straight I serve it with

the vinegar

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[Applause]

jaser matter of Elementary chemistry hit

me again sir what is with this gute a

gentleman have a good look Bandits

attention please well I assume the three

of you will be drinking my beer here

among the others now I don't so much

mind the loss of my camping equipment I

can replace that you must have needed it

rather badly to put on masks and rob a

friendly visitor but in addition a gold

ring was taken now it has no Great Value

in money but it's been in my family for

over 200

years my dead father gave it to me and

I'd hope that someday I might give it to

a son of

mine I won't insult you by offering a

reward that's a might a big mouth there

and I have a constitutional right with

that big mouth to shoot it off anytime I

want secur to me and my posterity under

the Bill of Rights you know what that

is by the by the way when do you hold

your town

elections uh in horsefly we don't have

no elections why not it ain't needful

who says Mr whoever you are I do name

strell and Trigger to you H I must have

my geography wrong I thought I was in

the United

States what are you a lot of pedigree

Malo

sheep oh you're nothing but a

troublemaker and you sir are a receiver

of stolen goods that's my ring engraved

with a helmet and three blooms now ain't

that a

coincidence this here little old P has

been a my family for over 2,000

years this man is a thief and a liar

he's not arms string it's all right

Marshall don't

interfere this shabby malactor scratched

himself on a cactus he'd bleed yellow

without those circus Shooters any man in

the territory could spread him on G like

butter TR he don't know no

better I want to remember you saying

that there

hung I know what you up to Marshall I

take him and you gun me down good as a

federal War you forget I got friends

nobody has friends when he's dead come

on this gun Greaser owns a building

where's my ring are you coming at WI a

pistol

with BYU he means it

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in Del mono's restaurant this steak

would cost you

$1.35 from New York like Generations

this summer I've been up in the bad

lands thought I'd swing down here

broaden my education bully country I

mean the whole howling shebang from Main

right on West shooting Grizzlies up

north hunting Grizzlies packed into the

mountains for 10 days suddenly both

guides whisper there's your bear little

female black bear cub last year boys I

said I'll patter her but be blowned if

I'll shoot got back to the Eastern

papers I understand now there's a fat of

little toy bear cubs for the kids you

were in the

papers well Sam you see I

am

dude you passed a couple of remarks been

a scking in my

craw your boys been pushing you on it

they got to right he's got you covered

under the table tree I se him draw we

started across string he still isn't

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armed he is

now pick it

up

pick it

up no

sir who's the bleeding yellow

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now

you got a lot of those well you better

have because as long as you're here I'm

going to look you up every single

morning sharp at 9:00 and if each time

you don't fight me I'm going to do that

same thing

again tomorrow morning sharp at 8:30

you're heading back for the Badlands

under my person escort you'll get your

Grizzly yet I want my ring more than I

want a Grizzly at your age what you want

most is a lot of

future what's the future except to live

each passing hour for the

record by Jo I have another one of these

Stakes oh coming

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up 140 in bed why didn't you get two

singles that's all I

had it's my pack

outfit maybe I don't need as much

looking after as you think Che for a

clean night shirt want to come over the

balcony what's

this your horses is at hitchrail sorry I

couldn't get the

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ring most men are honest

if you call on them when I call on

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him

buckard

buckheart the buckheart

we must be buckard what's the matter

Cambridge Massachusetts you graduated

the spring before my freshman year what

think of bumping into another Harvard

Man like this delighted sir delighted

yes I uh saw your five Kaa key a mere

academic honor but you're a legend back

there that night rate of yours on

President Elliot's office during alumni

week oh magnificent oh the Glee Club has

a ballot about it we'll talk about it

tomorrow on the trail I'm sorry old man

I I didn't mean to awaken you had to pay

my respects

though oh what horrifying thought

suppose one of us had been a Yale man

huh now look we have to get up at 7:00

tomorrow

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morning

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sh 45 we over

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slep what's that you don't recognize the

gym uniform of the Harvard athletic

association you go Outdoors like that

and you'll be

lynched you come back here you're under

arrest buckard you've got all the making

of an old mother hen you're going to be

a dead

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rooster confounded school boy watered

the knots

Dan I'm coming I'm a coming I'm a coming

what is it Marshall give me your

pants what did you say your pants Pronto

take them off well I I ain't going to do

no such thing

I'm officially requisitioning those

pants in the name of the United States

government non-cooperation is a

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felony

my what else you did give you for

[Laughter]

Christmas Moi it's

9:00 my

ring like I

said stand up B knuckle and I'll take it

off

you

you you you against

me hey boy this here going to be a real

treat no no Kitty's a gouge fighter take

your chances with a

gun welcome Marshall you're just in time

you could be a referee I appreciate

being appropriately dressed thanks to

you you maniac he's got 8 in on you want

100 lb he'll stomp your chest in gou

your face and come out of it with your

eyeball in his fist place your bets as

you please Marshall but kindly step back

you have no authority to interfere in an

amateur sports

[Applause]

event you're ready now for in all

fairness I am obliged to tell you that I

box rather well

[Applause]

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Rosie

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what's this monkey fighting come on now

that whole bar I call on all present to

Bear witness to

[Applause]

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[Applause]

that

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on

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yeah

where did you learn to fight like

that Japanese friend of

mine extraordinary character had his uh

pan statto right on him

oh boys where are you R she

Co string I think this town will be

holding an election soon you better be

riding

you better take this advice and get out

of town if I are you boy I wouldn't be

coming

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back pay you a visit when I go EAS bully

you do that

I not forget the man that taught me no

one can hope to perform a public service

without the help of

backers dude adios friend my real name

is Theodore Roosevelt call me Teddy

Teddy it is when election day comes

count on

me I'll be counting on all these Rough

Riders out

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here

good luck

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Teddy hello Sam hello Tess how's school

oh

fine Sam who's Mr Theodore Roseville

well

he what did you hear about him there's a

letter address to him in your

handwriting in the hall oh who is he

he's kind of hard to describe Tess

try all right he's a young man I met

last week in the town of horsefly how

young old 24 maybe

25 oh that's so

old but I don't mind you tell me more

about him well

Tess he has a fine sensitive face a

wonderful

smile he's a man who isn't afraid to

risk his life to defend what he believes

in he sounds just like

you

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