Original subtitles

Wait, uh, what about your boyfriend?

Hugo's not my boyfriend. He's my fiancé.

Armed police! Hands in the air! Show me your hands!

Stefan tried to crash Katie McConnell's wedding.

I object!

A few hours later at the reception,

eight guests were poisoned.

All members of the Delaney family.

Your Katie's new in-laws.

And her new husband.

Katie McConnell did a runner as soon as her new family dropped dead.

Where is she now, Stefan? Where the fuck is she?

Hi.

What are you doing? Everyone here is looking for you.

- Jump! - I can't.

I mean, like, they've arrested me. They're saying you're a mass murderer.

I saw a board in there that looks like the fucking Wire!

Take the leap.

Oh, fuck!

Are we absolutely sure this is Katie McConnell's apartment?

I haven't found anything.

There's nothing in the fridge except a Petit Filous.

Place is a showroom.

A ghost house for a ghost.

There's no personal touches.

Except some art that's gonna give me actual nightmares.

I mean, for the love of God,

why?

I mean, who is this person?

You'd probably like it more if you were about to marry the artist.

Or murder him.

She must know she wouldn't inherit the Delaneys' money

if she was suspected of murder.

Maybe she's a psycho.

- Excuse me, ma'am. - Tell me some good news.

All right, all right, all right.

I'm in no place to confirm any names, but we are--

Hey! Do you wanna hear this or not?

What I can say is that we are in the process

of locating a red Austin Maestro,

last caught on the ANPR on the M90 heading north of Edinburgh.

Any members of the public who believe they have information

should contact the incident line.

But I would remind the public

that these suspects are considered dangerous

and are not to be approached.

I want to reassure everyone

we are using all the resources at our disposal

to find these two suspects.

And we will.

Where are we, Katie?

Oh.

Good morning to you too.

You told me you would tell me what the hell is going on.

And I would have if you hadn't fallen asleep

for the whole drive.

Well, that does tend to happen after a massive adrenaline rush.

- Okey-dokey. - Uh, what are you doing?

What are you... Katie? Katie? Katie, Katie!

Okay. You're mad. You're actually insane.

They're looking for the car, I had to. I had to get rid of it.

And what's the plan now?

There's a village about two miles walk from here.

No, as in, like, how do we get out of this?

Because I have been arrested, my career has imploded,

I am a wanted fugitive.

I didn't ask to go on the run.

Why did you bring me in on this?

What are you laughing at?

What?

What? What's wrong?

What... Whoa, whoa. Oh, hey... No, no, it's okay.

It's okay... Okay, okay, okay, sit down.

Hey, hey, come here, come here, come here. Sit down, sit down.

Katie, sit down. It's okay.

- Look at me. Look at me. - I can't breathe.

You're having a panic attack, okay?

- I'm going to die. - No, you're not.

You're not gonna die. You're not gonna die.

It's a panic attack. Look at me. You're gonna breathe with me, all right?

In... and out.

In... and out.

In... and out. Slow. Slowly. Okay.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Okay.

I don't know what I'm doing.

Hey.

Hey.

You need to tell me what's going on.

Okay.

I genuinely know as much as you do.

All those people died at my wedding and everyone thinks I did it.

Okay.

What are we doing here?

Stefan.

There are layers to this, all right,

that you just don't know about.

The Delaney family aren't what they seem.

They have so many enemies.

And someone's made very sure that I'm going down for this,

unless we can figure out what's really going on.

I brought us here so we could talk to the one man

who might be able to help us do that.

Great. Who's that?

Uncle Fred.

Uncle Fred?

Yeah.

- We should go. - Where?

Please, Katie, listen.

I took the Hippocratic Oath.

Not killing people is pretty much my thing.

Maybe my biggest thing.

Look, I need to know. Did you kill all those people?

- Stefan! - No!

I need to know. Did you kill all those people?

No. I did not kill all those people.

We really need to go.

I'd be totally fine if it was a one-time thing.

- You definitely wouldn't! - I would!

Just not having her number, you know?

It's like being in limbo. I just wanna know what it meant.

I think it meant she's getting married to Hugo,

- so it couldn't be more of a dead end? - Exactly.

If it's not meant to be, it's not meant to be.

- Mm. - You can't force fate.

Please, I'm a man of science. I don't believe in fate.

Really?

We are on our way to Lorna's wedding.

Lorna. The only other person unluckier in love than you.

- Or you. - Shut the fuck up.

Anyway, how... how do you explain Lorna getting hitched

without fate having a hand in it? Because I've...

No, I don't think this wedding is gonna be a strong argument for fate, to be honest.

- Why? - Why... why would you say that?

Nothing. Just... He's quite a lot older.

That's cold.

And that her mom hates him so much, she's refusing to come.

- Right. - Whoa.

And he was her driving instructor.

- Oh. - Come on.

I think that girl is literally cursed.

Wait, didn't her last boyfriend vanish at sea?

- Potentially. - Okay, all right. This is ridiculous.

There is no such thing as curses and there's no such thing as fate.

Hi.

Hi.

Great chat you two have.

Are you going to Lorna's wedding?

I don't know who that is.

I, um... I've got a thing.

- Cool. - Maybe I'll see you later.

Yeah.

- Cool. - Cool.

That was weird, right?

Yeah, yeah, yeah. We should get a move on. We're gonna be late.

I hate everyone coming in and looking at you like that.

"Maybe I'll see you later," she said.

I mean, that means I should go and see her at the wedding she's at now, right?

I think it means you should stay at the wedding

that you're actually invited to.

- Yeah, but what about, like, fate, though? - I thought you were a man of science.

I am complex, Jackson, that's what I am.

Uh, guys, did you know this wedding was dry?

- What? - Apparently Lorna's groom's in AA.

Oh, God.

We are leaving the second the ceremony ends.

Shh, shh, shh. It's starting.

Oh, my God.

Doesn't she look proper happy, though? Maybe the curse is finally broken.

I'm sorry.

I... I can't.

- Do you think this means we can go? - Shut the fuck up.

Hey, Floyd's gonna be right back.

I think he probably just, um...

uh, forgot something, so...

if you could just stay exactly where you are, 'cause...

Floyd's gonna be right back.

She's getting in the car.

She sat in the car.

Oh, my God. This is a sign.

Fate literally stopped this wedding so I can go and see Katie.

All right, I'm gonna go.

Well, you can't just crash someone else's wedding.

Yeah, yeah, of course you can, if you bring us back some booze. Please.

Oh, my God, Stefan, you have to go crash that wedding.

I really don't think Lorna would appreciate you bailing at this...

Relax.

It's not gonna cause an international incident

if Stefan steps out for half an hour.

Anything else for you, love?

Uh, nope. Nope, all good. Just these. Thank you.

Katie, we're on the front page of every single paper.

- We need to get out of here, now. - Working on it.

Are you stealing this bike?

Did you buy those?

Yes, because I don't just take what I want.

- With cash? - No, I did the tap.

Stefan...

they can track your card.

How could you be so stupid?

Okay, you know what, I've had enough of being treated like an idiot.

If you're gonna push a car off a cliff or steal someone's bike,

- we need to talk about it first. - You always wanna talk.

- And we don't have time for that. - Look.

Either you start listening to me or--

- Or what? - Or, I don't know,

maybe I give us up to the police?

Engine trouble?

Yes, that's it. Engine trouble.

Oh, that's the worst. And Gavin, our mechanic, is off on holiday.

- Oh. - In Lanzarote.

- Lucky for some, you know. - Yeah.

I could give you a lift, if you like?

- Oh, no, that's-- - Oh...

That's settled then. Come on.

- Let's go. - Okay.

You know, again, we really don't mind walking.

- You know, get some exercise. - Oh, I won't hear of it.

Listen. It'll take you all day.

What did you say the address was?

- Gull... - Gull House.

Oh, that sounds familiar.

Oh, Fred Delaney's place!

That's the one.

Uncle Fred is a Delaney?

I'm surprised you know the place. Old Delaney is a real recluse.

What brings you up to visit him?

Oh, you know.

I have no idea.

Right, so the last CCTV sighting had them crossing the Firth Of Forth,

so they're not trying to fly out of Glasgow or Edinburgh.

- Unless they're trying to throw us off. - No.

I'd reckon that they're trying to... they're trying to hide out

or they're trying to find a port.

Ah, in which case, they could be... they could be anywhere.

Yeah, they're not running anywhere, are they?

You know what I mean? Like, New Zealand.

I mean, obviously, not New Zealand, no.

Or Narnia. Maybe they're in the Lost City of Atlantis.

Maybe they're there.

Are you being weird with me?

You sound like you're 12.

You do this every time something like last night happens.

No, I don't. I just feel like there's a reason

that this thing keeps happening between us, that's all.

Yeah, there's a pretty simple explanation.

I was depressed...

- Oh, brilliant. - ...because I let a suspect

from the biggest case of my career escape.

Yeah? We got drunk...

I just, if...

You know, it feels a bit like...

like fate to me.

That's all.

Obviously... Oh, forget about it.

Oh, shit, take the next exit.

Why?

Stefan Bridges just used his debit card in a shop

about 90 miles north of Edinburgh.

He used his debit card?

Honestly.

Sometimes I think this guy is a criminal mastermind,

and sometimes I think he's just a fucking idiot.

He's a fucking idiot.

Wow.

So I actually thought that blood diamonds were red,

but it turns out they just look like real diamonds.

- Oh. Oh, no. - I know.

Well, how... how do you tell the difference?

So the blood ones are actually cheaper.

So, what's the point in a blood diamond?

- Mary, Hugo. Mingle, please. - Daddy!

I need a moment with Katie.

You enjoying the party?

- Yes. It's so beautiful-- - Shame this is as long

as it lasts for you.

- I had a background check done. - I'm sorry, I don't understand.

I've had a file presented to me. Do you know what was in it?

Nothing.

Isn't that good?

Most people leave a footprint in this world, Katie.

My team couldn't find anyone that knew you before three years ago.

I'm just a very private person.

Private people don't deliberately mislead their new families.

You told me you were a student at the Institut Matterhorn

when you were younger.

- I did. - There's no record of you.

You could be anyone. I need to protect my family.

Well...

maybe you should start by hiring people who know how to do their jobs.

- Excuse me? - So the school didn't keep proper records?

Big deal.

But one of my old classmates is standing literally right behind you. Excuse me.

Hey. I thought I'd drop by, you know, you said "maybe see you later"--

- Emphasis on maybe. Listen-- - Look, I just wanted to say that I...

I know obviously we had this spark, and I don't know,

maybe, like, something like fate agrees,

because I mean, I'm literally next door at a wedding,

and you're here at a wedding--

Yeah, this isn't a wedding, this is my engagement party.

Oh, my God. Uh... Well, I'm so sorry, uh, okay? I... I will leave.

No. No, no. I need you to stay.

I need you to convince my father-in-law we went

to a Swiss boarding school together...

- What? What? - Robert? This is Stefan.

We studied together at Institut Matterhorn.

Hello. Hi. Yeah. In Switzerland. In the Alps!

Mm.

Were you a boarder or a day student?

Uh, boarder, yeah. That's how, uh, me and Katie first met.

My parents dumped me there the first chance they got.

And who are your parents?

Uh, Leslie.

Which one?

Both of them?

It's their surname. It's what he's trying to say.

- He's just a joker. - Yeah, just kidding there. Uh, yeah.

But you wouldn't know them because they moved to Australia.

Uh, a long time ago.

Hmm.

Katie, this conversation isn't over.

Of course.

-"Leslie"? - I don't know, I panicked.

- Just Leslie? - He's like posh Thanos. What do you want?

Okay. I'm going to leave now.

You're not leaving.

You're my childhood friend now, and you're gonna help me sell that.

It's the least you could do for barging in here.

- Uh, yeah, okay. - Okay?

- Okay. - Go team.

Go team.

- Hey. -Where's our booze, Stef?

- It's miserable over here. - Yeah, and Lorna won't let anyone leave.

It's like Dog Day Afternoon

but with a woman who once got dumped by her second cousin.

Yeah, and Suji's gone to the other end of the scale

and is now flirting with a senior citizen.

He spent half an hour telling me about dating someone from ABBA.

Yeah, I mean, obviously I was devastated

- when Agnetha ended it, but, uh... - Mm.

...we'll still have the song she named after me.

-"Fernando"? -"Fernando".

- But your name is Arthur. - That's right.

Please come back now. With vodka.

I... I can't right now, okay? I'm... I'm...

I'm kinda in over my head here.

Phew.

- We really dodged a bullet there. - Dodged a bullet?

We're walking towards one. Another Delaney?

Are you trying to get us killed?

Hold up!

- Get ready to run. - Okay.

Do you's want this?

The minute that police officer needs the loo,

he's gonna read his paper, see our faces,

and come back with the shitting cavalry.

- We'll be quick. - So will all the police in Scotland!

Stop!

Katie, this feels wrong to me.

Like, what if Uncle Fred is in on it?

Stefan, he's my only hope of finding out what happened. Please.

As soon as you meet him, you'll get it.

Last Christmas, we stayed up all night drinking whiskey,

talking shit about the rest of the family.

He's not like them. You'll see. He checks in on me. He's really sweet.

Plus he's vegan! He wouldn't hurt a fly.

Jesus! Oh, my God. Okay! He's trying to kill us.

Katie?

He was aiming high.

Thank God I missed.

Okay.

Darling girl, I'm so glad you're all right.

I've seen what they're saying in the papers, and I don't believe a word.

I know you didn't do it.

- Mm. - Thank you.

Sorry about the... you know.

But they've killed eight Delaneys. I won't let them make it nine.

Come through. Come through.

Thirty minutes and way less if he tries to shoot us again.

Katie actually won the yodeling cup, two years in a row.

Yes. I am a champion yodeler.

- I take it very seriously. - The goats love her.

Remember when we got snowed in that one Christmas?

Yes, 1998. Storm Elsa, they called her.

Fun fact, they named that storm after our kindergarten teacher.

Who later turned out to be a cop.

- You all right there? - Yeah. Mm-mm.

So, what do you do?

You dickhead.

- A kindergarten cop? - That's a classic.

You have to be at least kind of plausible. You're going to get me in trouble.

- Okay, all right. Okay. - I'm serious.

I'll tone it down, all right?

Uh, but I will say this.

Lying to your in-laws? Not a healthy way to start a marriage.

Oh?

Oh, shit, Hugo.

Uh, okay, it's okay. We met before. He never remembers me.

Ah!

- Hi, mushy! - Ah...

Well... I know all about you two.

- Uh... Yeah. - Friends from school, right? Yeah.

- Uh, Jo... Stefan. - Stefan.

Oh, finally get to meet one of her mates, it's a bloody bloke. Bloody hell.

She's a bit of a mystery, this one, Stefan.

But then again, women are all mysteries to me.

Hmm.

Ah. But no, what was she like?

Did the girls get into pillow fights and stuff?

Because we didn't have them at my school. Girls.

Oh, mushy, you don't wanna hear about all that boring stuff.

No, I absolutely do, so...

Spill the beans.

- Uh, right. Um, Katie, well, uh... - Yeah.

Maybe later, mush?

We have our little thank you speech, remember?

Oh, yes. Of course. Um, catch you on the flipside, Steve, okay?

Mushy?

Stefan! Just the fellow.

I was hoping you could help clear something up for me.

- Yeah, sure, of course. - How old were you when you met Katie?

When I met Katie? Uh, well, I was, um...

Uh, six? Six... six years old.

Interesting.

Because the institute only takes children from the age of 13.

Right, yeah, no. Of course. Um...

No, uh, what... I mean, uh...

I'm just a bit muddled.

You look more and more like my Isobel every time I see you, you know.

Hmm.

Poor girl. You must be traumatized.

Fred, you know the Delaneys' dirty secrets better than anyone.

Do you have any idea who might have done this?

My family has a hundred vendettas, darling. Thousands.

You don't get money like ours by being nice.

They make enemies. That's what money does.

They were cunts. God rest their souls.

- Hmm. - What I'm saying is,

there are so, so many people who could have done it.

Right.

Well, let's start with the most obvious.

Take your pick of the organized crime mobs.

Albanian, Galician, the Stuttgart lot--

Oh, sounds like a long list. A bit of a dead end.

Well, thank you for helping. We should probably get going.

Oh, it's not safe for you out there.

God knows who might be after you.

Let me make you some tea

and we can figure out the best way to get you both somewhere safe, hmm?

You know, I'd love some tea.

Hm.

- I really think we should get going. - Oh, my God.

Can't you just chill for two seconds?

When have I ever got you in trouble?

Jesus, come on. Ow.

Where'd you find him?

You should ask for your money back.

He doesn't look the part, hasn't learnt his lines.

What do you mean?

Whoever he is, this stooge of yours...

can't get his story straight.

- I can explain. - No.

I don't like to be lied to, Katie.

Start clearing people out. Party's over.

And if she ever shows her face again, make her regret it.

I'm nothing.

I come from nothing.

You're right, I lied.

I never went to a Swiss boarding school.

I didn't grow up riding, and I never summered in Tuscany.

I've been on my own, fending for myself my whole life.

My father...

he was just a fisherman.

And he died, young and broke.

I came here...

and I fell in love with your son.

And I thought that if you knew where I actually came from,

you'd never let me anywhere near your family.

So, yes.

I paid someone to wipe my digital footprint.

I was embarrassed.

I've wanted to tell you for so long...

but I thought that that would mean losing Hugo.

And I can't bear the thought of that because I love your son with all my heart.

I apologize.

You've misread me, young lady.

My father had a fishing boat.

In Essex.

I can still smell the spray sometimes.

He turned it into an international business

by the time me and my brother were in our teens.

Eventually, he managed to give us the world.

Your background is nothing to be ashamed of with me.

Probably best if we keep it from Hugo, though.

But... I'm going to need an iron-clad prenup.

To Hugo and Katie!

Hugo and Katie!

Fate can go fuck itself.

The whole thing was a reminder to me of this incredible chemistry together,

and she's... marrying someone else.

And she said she loves him, but honestly,

their whole vibe together is off.

Hmm.

She's like a completely different person when she's around him.

Plus, that party was weird, man. That... that family is, like, scary rich.

Yeah, my sister said the Delaneys are proper dodge.

What do you mean?

I mean, Yuna never explained it when she was with Hugo but she hated them.

You know? I mean, that kind of money does a lot

to hide some ugly secrets, you know?

Damn.

What is wrong with Anil?

Him and Jackson are playing a drinking game.

Drink every time you see something incredibly sad.

Oh.

Unless they must be fucking wasted, no?

- Things not working out with Fernando? - Oh, no, fuck that guy.

I googled it, right? Turns out Fernando's about

the Mexican War of Independence.

- Jesus. - Yeah.

I just don't know what I want anymore.

- Yeah. Me neither. - Yeah.

Can you dance with me?

I can, of course.

ANIL (whispering): Jackson! Jackson!

This was going to be my first dance with Floyd.

That's... nice.

They'll have to play it again when he comes back.

Lorna...

I wonder if...

it might be time to accept that maybe...

you and Floyd aren't meant to be.

Because he's been to jail?

What? No. Fuck. Jesus. No, no. Because he ran away on your wedding day.

I just think...

sometimes...

even though we really, really care about someone...

we have to face the facts and see them for who they are

and where they're at.

Hello.

Hello.

Um...

I have an announcement.

I've been thinking, and, um...

...I don't think that Floyd is coming back.

- Drink. - But...

but I'm not sure that I mind anymore.

Because... as that song was playing,

it reminded me that it was playing on the car radio

the night that Floyd and me first made love...

in the back seat.

Oh, my God, is that actually the car they first fucked in?

And from that moment in the car park of the Longsight Lidl...

until the moment I walked down the aisle this morning,

Floyd, he made me happy every single day.

And it was fate that we met.

And it was... fate that we parted.

And even if this is the end of our road...

...I'd rather spend these last four months loving Floyd than...

than never loved him at all.

And by God, one day I will pass that driving test.

Wait. She didn't even pass the fucking test?

I can't... I can't anymore.

Look, I'm sorry if I was a bit snippy with you earlier.

What, what? I didn't notice.

I just think we should probably keep, you know,

work stuff and other stuff separate.

- Do you know what I mean? - Oh. Yeah.

We're such a good team. I don't wanna risk that.

Yeah, of course. Uh, absolutely.

Yeah. Cheers, mate.

All of you fucking gaggle of Girl Guides, listen up.

Okay, so, as you've probably gathered,

we're looking for two suspects, Katie McConnell and Stefan Bridges,

sighted here at the village shop at 10:48 this morning.

Now, I wanna go door-to-door, every door, no one gets missed.

The rest of you, I wanna sweep the countryside,

turn this place upside down and inside out until we find them.

This is who you're looking for.

Any questions?

Drink!

Hi.

Hey.

Excuse me. Have you seen my groom anywhere?

He's a lot drunker than usual and, ah, I'm worried about him.

Hello. I'm worried that--

- Don't do the voice. - Sorry.

Oh, the whole Floyd-Lorna thing, I've just...

I've been worried about so many things about our wedding...

but, uh,

I didn't ever think that maybe my bride could just... do a runner.

Anil.

Anil, look at me.

No, at me.

Look, that is...

that is never gonna happen.

I promise.

Oh.

Hi.

What are you doing here?

I thought showing up uninvited to each other's parties

was kind of our thing.

I wanted to thank you for trying to cover for me earlier.

Things got a little bit intense with Hugo's dad, didn't it?

They did, yeah.

Did you mean what you said to him?

If you love Hugo that much, why did you sleep with me?

People marry people for lots of reasons, Stefan.

That doesn't answer my question.

Hmm.

You know...

if I was...

leading a different life...

I would go for this.

But I'm living this one.

So I can't.

Thanks again.

It's done.

Ah.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Oh, fuck.

Delicious. We should go.

We've definitely overstayed our welcome.

No rush. May I use your loo?

Of course.

Thank you.

I'd be looking after her.

Ah, more the other way around.

Hm. I'm sure.

Is that your daughter?

Yes. She left us...

ten years ago.

Who was it that said...

"Drugs are God's way of saying, you have too much money"?

One of the reasons I don't have any now.

Katie was the best thing to happen to this family since Isobel died.

It's absurd that they think she did it.

She's such a... good girl.

- Dude, I'm peeing! - We need to leave.

- What? - Seriously.

We'll leave in a minute.

You know, you can't just barge in on me because you have a funny feeling.

I think Uncle Fred is in on it.

You think that man is responsible for the murder of his entire family?

Okay, maybe not directly, but he's definitely involved.

How can you suspect him?

He's a sweet, old man with a broken heart in a sweater vest.

Katie, I have been in the most gullible state imaginable,

head over heels, and even I've had my suspicions about you.

We show up to his house, his entire family have been poisoned,

and he doesn't suspect you at all?

How could that be if he wasn't in on it himself?

Just because you don't trust me, it doesn't mean no one does.

Jesus, no. I... At every...

at every turn, all day, any suggestion, anything, you just have ignored me.

I mean, why'd you bring me in on this?

I brought you along to make sure you didn't die.

Which, by the way, practically a full-time job.

God, you are crazy. This is...

Huh?

Stefan, let me tell you something.

This is my world, not yours.

So shut up and do as you're told because you're useless otherwise.

Useless?

Is that what you really think?

- You want the truth? - Yeah.

Yes. Yes, it is.