Original subtitles

It came. It came!

- Okay. - Open it.

- Oh... - Careful, Rett, careful.

Oh...oh...

"Dear Seretta and LouAnne,

"I am pleased

"to inform you that your Cheesy Burger Bites recipe

"is the grand prize winner..."

- What? - Aah!

"As a restaurateur and lover

"of the culinary arts, I am thrilled

"to be a part of this amazing event."

Oh--oh...

"Please join me..." Oh!

"At the awards ceremony featuring a concert..."

- Ha! - "By my band.

"Rock on, Johnny Depp.

"Asterisk: airfair not included."

Oh...

I can't believe it!

Oh, can you believe it? Can you believe it?

I want to hold it.

both: We're going to the concert!

Lou, you know what this means?

Everything's gonna change.

- This is our chance. - Our chance.

After the concert, the Depper's gonna meet us,

and he's gonna ask us to be...

both: His personal chefs.

Lunch Ladies, my ass!

Yeah!

Order! Order!

Order! Order!

Fuck me.

I'd rather eat a tampon.

Hey, hey.

Rett, Rett, keep your eye on the prize.

Ladies, this is Principal Grossfetig.

I simply cannot allow these subpar lunches to continue.

What a load of donkey shit!

Sir, sir, we are-- we are doing our best.

We're giving 100%, but...

we can't be at the top of our game

if our parts ain't fresh.

Ladies...

a real chef can create a masterpiece

from what's at hand. Bottom line...

you're not working up to Melvin High potential.

If lunch doesn't improve tomorrow,

for Surprise Friday,

I have no choice but to replace you with vending machines.

I hope you understand, Lunch Ladies.

We're chefs, not Lunch Ladies!

Fuck you, Melvin High!

Johnny wants us!

We are out of here!

Rett! Rett, Rett, Rett, honey,

we cannot lose our jobs.

We buy that airfare,

and get to the concert.

Oh...

Johnny's concert.

Asterisk.

Airfare...not included.

Goddamn it!

Aah!

Oh!

Oh...

Hey, Lunch Lady.

That is the ugliest shirt I have ever seen.

Is that your dad, Lunch Lady?

It's Johnny Depp,

and he's hiring us to be his personal chefs.

Uh-huh. Congrats.

But, seriously...

do you guys masturbate to him?

Everybody wants to know.

Don't...

push...

me.

Oh, fuck.

Now I know why your food always tastes like shit.

It's got Lunch Lady Johnny jizz all over it.

Aah!

Hm.

Goddamn kids.

Aah!

I, uh...

I-I did something...

bad.

Hold it together. Shh!

Quiet. Shh.

- What are you thinking? - Oh.

Do you think Johnny's gonna want us to be his personal chefs

when he finds out about this? - I'm sorry!

- Ugh!

[cries]

Hold it together.

Shh, shh, shh.

Hey, look at that.

Melvin High potential, ladies.

both: Yes, Principal Grossfetig.

Oh!

[blows nose]

God, shut up and let me think!

We're going to the pokey,

and we'll never meet the Depper!

Wait a minute.

Wait...

a...

minute.

W.W.J.D.

both: What would Johnny do?

A lot more blood than a raccoon.

■ I feel you ■

■ Johnny Depp ■

Good morning, Melvin High Ferrets.

Seniors, graduation gowns are in.

So please visit the Jostens rep in room 107.

And remember, cash only.

Whoever stole that rug that was in front of

Ms. Crispin's desk, please return it.

It really tied the room together.

And lastly, for lunch today,

it's Surprise Friday!

I don't know.

Maybe we should have tasted it first.

I mean, what if--

Rett! You're driving me crazy.

"Brought both flowers and fruit,

"But ripen'd in far distant plains,

"Where warmer far the sunbeams shoot,

"Where a more bounteous nature reigns.

"Her g--"

Ahh.

Lou, whatever happens,

we stick together.

Right?

both: Sisters forever.

Johnny forever.

Wah. Wah.

Those are the most beautiful pies I have ever seen.

Order! Order!

Form a line!

Mmm!

Mmm!

Mmm!

That's mine!

- Give it to me! - Mmm!

both: We're going to the concert!

We're going to the concert!

Ladies? Hm.

Today, you not only met Melvin High potential...

Mm, mm.

You exceeded it.

I don't know what you Lunch Ladies did differently today,

but keep it up.

both: Yes, sir!

One new message received today at 22:01.

Tommy...

Stop ignoring these calls please,

I■ve been very patient with you but my patience is running out.

I can■t talk Ellie I■m at work...

You said you would be home early tonight.

[baby crying]

Yeah sorry about that, something came up

and there■s loads of paperwork and I'm sitting here

in the office and I'm thinking; if I can get this done now

I won■t have to come in on Saturday

and we can have the weekend together;

just you me and the baby

and we■ll get a takeaway and we■ll sit and watch the telly

and we■ll cuddle on the sofa, how■s that?

Aw you bloody charmer,

they better give you a decent bonus this year

with all these late nights you are doing

At this time of night? Just a minute!

All These extra hours are going to be worth it love

■Cos we■ll take him to Disneyland,

will be his first time on a plane,

imagine that?

Listen, I■m going to have to go, I'll be home soon though okay,

love you darling.

love you too

See you

Bye. - Bye..

You forget something darling ...

Aww, Tommy that■s a nice way to greet me.

You don■t get called nice things in this line of work.

Yeah, Yeah, I was going to get back to you actually... um...

it■s been a bit full on with the new baby and everything..

I■m not interested Tommy! We had an agreement, didn■t we?

And you■re two weeks late with your payments

and that pisses me off ■ you understand?

Yeah, I know, you■ve been fair. Really, really fair and er..

it■s just been very, very tough since I lost my job,

the company downsized and had to let me go and um, you know...

it■s been really tough, but it■s fine, it■s okay, ■coz, erm,

I■m working now um, I■m in a factory packing boxes,

in fact I can■t really stay on the phone, so er...

So, you■re on a job yeah? That means you■re earning doesn■t it?

So, I might have to come down and pay you a visit.

Any way Tommy, you best get back to

your job and your very quiet factory,

because you have a wife and baby to take care of...

Ellie, make it quick love ...

Right, where the hell are you Tommy?

I already told you I■m at work ...

Don■t you bloody lie to me, why did Sarah just drop a load of

your stuff off from the office Tommy,

she says she hasn■t seen you in 6 months.

Ellie please, wait... ■ 6 fucking months!

Yeah?

Oh, dear Tommy, what have you been up to?

Your missus looks very upset, very upset indeed!

I might have to make sure she■s alright...

Tommy what■s going on?

Ellie, I want you to listen to me very, very carefully. - What?

I want you to get Zak

and I want you and him to go to your mums now, okay?

Why?

What was that?

Ellie what■s going on?

Someone■s trying to break into the house...

Ellie, listen to me, get Zak,

shout out the fucking bathroom window, someone will hear you!

I■m calling the police! - GO NOW!

What? Jesus fucking Christ

Tommy, what the fuck have you done? What have you done?

Shh shh it■s okay... it's okay. It's okay..

Tommy their breaking in, where are you?

They■re in the house!

Please Tommy! - I can■t, I can■t. I fucking can■t!

Shhh Shhh it■s alright, it's alright..

listen mummy■s just playing a silly game, everything■s fine,

shh shh come here, it■s okay...

Tommy I don■t care what■s happening,

I just need you to come home.

Please will you just come home.

Oh, fuck it!

Please Tommy...

Shh... Shh...Come here, Shh.. Sh..

Shh... Shh...Come here, Shh.. it■s okay, it■s okay, it■s okay!

Come on Tommy, please... hurry up...