Original subtitles

Sometimes I just get in my head.

And I get this

shitty, sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.

Here's an idea.

Try breathing a little bit.

You're at a 10. I need you at a 2.

And then I'll picture here with her boss,

and I know she's attracted to him.

So she's into older men now?

I don't know. Maybe.

Maybe you shouldn't always assume the worst case, buddy.

But you know? She is always at work.

Like always.

Well, people work.

Women work. What do you want her to do?

Stay at home all day in an apron by the door

waiting for you to show up?

Relax.

Breathe.

You're going to make yourself crazy.

Hey, you've reached Emily.

Leave me a message and I'll call you back.

Dude, I know for a fact the girl loves you.

Don't let your imagination run wild.

Thing is, she's a shitty liar and I can tell when she's lying.

And her rich dick boss demands way too much of her time.

Seriously, I see the way the guy looks at her. Something's up.

All right. Let's get you another drink. Yo.

This one's on me.

Happy birthday. - I'm good.

Happy birthday. Oh. Thanks.

Easy with that.

Ooh.

Britney's here.

I'm going to need some backup.

Backup? - Yeah.

What is she? A fucking wrestler?

Just chat. Words.

Hey, girl. - Hey!

What's up?

How are you? - This is Lisa.

Hey, Lisa. - Hi.

This is my friend Vince. - Hi.

You got to be really nice to Vince. It's his birthday.

Oh, it's your birthday? - Yeah.

So Vince is from New York, majored in Fine Arts in college.

And he's planning a trip to Yosemite. Right, Vince?

Yeah. Yep.

He's one of those intense hiker guys.

He hikes the Appalachian Trail every year.

Wow. That's intense.

Thanks.

So what are you two ladies drinking? Beer? Wine?

Oh, I'd love a beer. Just nothing too-

You know? I was just actually on my way out.

I got an early morning.

No.

Yeah.

Lisa... - What?

Britney. - Dude, you serious?

Let me know.

Happy birthday.

Hey, you've reached Emily.

Leave me a message and I'll call you back.

Fuck's sake.

Hello?

I can hear you.

Surprise! - Surprise.

Crazy bastard.

Wait. What's going on?

Oh my God!