Original subtitles

[voice-over] Even good medicine, when taken too much,

becomes poisonous.

[official] I even saw it on the news

that all the swings in parks in Taihei will be replaced with safe swings.

Yes. The plan is to finish by the end of the year.

[official] You are so dependable, Mr. Utsubo.

And I'm working with the city to get a safety rail around the pond.

Goodness!

Just like I heard, you're a fast worker.

You're quite popular at the women's club.

Hina, bring me the documents.

Here you are.

Those are records of the drownings and injuries from the last 20 years.

Dear me! There's been this many in the last 20 years?

Children are this country's treasure.

It is the duty of us adults

to remove the stones that might trip them up

so they can walk safely.

[Utsubo] I want to protect children

from everything that might harm their development,

like porn and discriminatory language.

That is my way of thinking.

[♪ upbeat rock theme music playing]

The Fable

Rei Utsubo

Taihei Detective Agency

Mr. Utsubo, this stuff is totally legit.

What's shady about it?

[Utsubo] All of it.

We're a completely shady company.

So everything you said before was a lie?

No, I meant it.

It's what I believe deep in my heart.

Huh? I don't get you.

Anyway, I could never do this kind of work.

[associate] I'm good at intimidating and kidnapping people though.

Yeah, you and me both are misfits who could never even become proper yakuza.

[Utsubo] Hang around tonight too.

You can decide whether to work with us or not later.

Huh.

[wind gusting]

[Utsubo] "Monster parents." That's a great phrase.

When I first heard it, it had me trembling.

It's so fitting.

Why's that?

It's an amazing way to describe the opposite of "momma's boy."

[Utsubo] Raise it up.

-Hmm? -[engine whirring]

-[muffled whimpering] -[♪ tense music playing]

Nice! I love this kind of thing.

So, who's this guy?

A new type of person created from monster parents.

[Utsubo] I love you, my boy. Now just calm down.

You see, thanks to being raised by an incredibly overprotective mother,

he has become a magnificent example of someone who is ignorant of the world.

Hey, someone's been spending all of mommy and daddy's fabulous wealth.

Cars, vacations, beauty treatments, and even hair removal.

My, my. Quite the lavish life, eh?

How much are you going to get from intimidating him?

I've already gotten it. About 10 million.

[Utsubo] Now, this guy's going to escape to Southeast Asia.

-[muffled sobbing] -The story is that he's taking a journey

of "self-exploration" along with the 10 million in cash.

His monster mother thinks her son is figuring out his identity.

She must be quite happy.

But she'll be waiting forever for her son who's never coming back.

[muffled screaming]

[Utsubo] Don't you worry!

I hate gruesome sights too.

[associate] Eh?

Go ahead.

-[engine rumbling] -[muffled whimpering]

[muffled screaming]

I think he's trying to say something.

Probably begging for his life.

[Utsubo] It's nothing that interests me.

[muffled screaming]

Overprotectiveness is great. It creates the best suckers.

Children who fall on level paths.

They don't know dangerous games or what competition is.

They have no immunity to getting hurt or having things not go their way.

Why don't we make more of children like that?

[loud thud]

[Utsubo] For villains like us.

-[Jackal] Please, Ai. I'm begging you! -[♪ dramatic mellow music playing]

[Ai] Yu-chan!

Just one time! Just one shag!

Or even just the tip! Please!

I'm begging you!

[Akira] He's so desperate. How passionate.

So, this is love, huh? Love...

[children laughing]

[child] What'll we play next?

Children are so sweet and innocent.

Yeah, they're cute while they're baby chicks.

I understand now why you told me to wear a suit.

You know what they say about a skilled hawk.

It hides its talons perfectly.

[Utsubo] We promote whatever the current trends are

to protect kids.

I love people who complain like crazy about TV and magazines

breaking broadcast codes and stuff.

-[child giggles] -[gasps] Wait!

We work with those magnificent whiners and monster parents

to put the children on the merry-go-round.

Their beds are always germ-free, neat, and safe.

Their parents will always protect them.

So, the future is always bright, right?

We'll keep them on the merry-go-round.

We can't let them become aware of reality.

And we gobble them up

once they've become full-grown chickens, huh?

Isaki, I came up with this method 15 years ago.

[Utsubo] In the past, people always said,

"Send your sweet child on a journey,"

or "Drop them into an abyss."

They raised kids differently then.

The historian Trevelyan once said,

"Education has produced a vast population able to read,

but unable to distinguish what is worth reading."

The more children there are

who can't choose what to read, and who can't use smarts and innovation,

then the better business is for me.

[children chattering]

We've got a new team member starting today.

My name's Isaki. Nice to meet you.

[Utsubo] That's Hiroshi Suzuki.

That's Hinako Saba.

You were driving that excavator, weren't you?

Listen, Isaki.

Don't go prying. Everyone's got their secrets.

However, the four of us here will be working together.

Teamwork is important.

For a big job, a team of four is best.

With too many, quarrels are more likely.

And with too few, there's not enough to do the work.

[Utsubo] The Beatles. U2.

KISS. Queen.

The Sex... What is it again?

The Sex Pistols.

Bands that gave us famous songs all had four members.

Anyway, it's what I like.

Let's drink to the chickens who can't use smarts and innovation.

Cheers.

[sizzling]

Isaki.

[Utsubo] You'll be sharing a room with Suzuki.

You sleep on the top bunk.

The room in the back is mine.

[Utsubo] The room to the right of the living room is Hina's.

If you make noise, I'll kick you from below.

[worried grunt]

I just want you guys to get along.

We're all partners, after all.

You've got work, right?

Go get it done.

[door creaks, closes]

Can we trust that guy?

Isaki used to be a member of the Maguro Group.

Trust is important, but being useful is more important.

If he gets in the way, we'll get rid of him.

Never mind that.

I heard Maguro's Sunagawa had his business messed with.

I heard an odd rumor.

You mean, about what hair tonic he's using?

[Utsubo chuckles]

[Utsubo] It's a little late for him, don't you think?

Do you know a hitman named Fable?

-[♪ uneasy music playing] -That's just an underworld urban legend.

[Utsubo] What would you do if you found out he was real?

He apparently had a gun like yours.

A gun with a silencer used for assassinations...

and a manual ejector.

A Hush Puppy, huh?

An imitation that's similar to it.

Either way, if it looks like he'll be trouble,

we'll look into both Fable and Maguro.

[Utsubo] Those who aren't prepared are always in a panic.

If I were fighting Dracula,

I'd have a crucifix and garlic,

and set up a plan to bathe him in sunlight.

Octopus

I finished the delivery.

[Misaki's boss] Great. Thanks.

You can leave for the day, Sato.

[Akira] Okay.

[Misaki] Good night.

[Akira] See you later.

[door opens]

[♪ dramatic music sting]

[door closes]

[Misaki] This is so annoying. This is so darn annoying.

He could have said something.

About what? What for?

[Misaki] He's just so darn callous.

[singing] ♪ You feel your shoulders... ♪

[birds squawking]

-[♪ ominous music playing] -[shaky breathing]

-[squelches] -[choking]

[shaky breathing]

[soft gasp]

[clanks]

[heavy breathing]

[exclaims]

[shaky breathing]

[gasps]

Hmm... The girl from that time...

[Isaki] Anyway, cheers.

-[gulping] -[♪ light music playing]

It's been two years, huh?

Yeah.

I couldn't stick around in Taihei.

How come you couldn't?

It's not like you got expelled or cut off.

I'm glad to hear you say that,

but the other members don't look at it that way.

No sooner did our beef with Sameken start three years ago,

than I got arrested for some totally unrelated fight.

And then I got released on bail the moment the beef with them ended.

So, of course everyone thought I ran away.

Enough already.

-You're ruining our get-together. -[sighs]

Mama.

[Mama] Sure.

How are things with you, Kuro? I heard you're moving up in Maguro.

-Maybe so, but it's a small group. -[ice cubes rattling]

[liquid sloshing]

Nothing's really changed.

[Isaki] How's Takahashi doing?

[Kuro] Still a plebe.

[Isaki] A plebe, huh? [laughs]

What about Mr. Sunagawa?

Is he getting along with Mr. Ebihara?

[soft grunt]

You digging for info?

[Isaki] Don't be silly.

It's been a while, so I'm just wondering how they're doing.

Asking about Mr. Sunagawa and Mr. Ebihara...

That's not the kind of question an ex-member should ask over drinks.

[Isaki] I told you, I'm not...

You were a yakuza once, so you should know better.

[Isaki] Fine. I get it. Where are you going?

[Kuro] The can.

[sizzling]

You always show up when I'm about to have dinner.

[Akira] There's something I want you to look into.

I want to see the files

on a murder that happened in Tokyo four years ago in June.

Do it yourself.

I have work.

That's so uncool!

Are you saying I've got nothing better to do?

Well, it's true, right?

You better watch out.

[Yoko] It ticks people off when you talk that way.

[exhales deeply]

Why do you want to know about that murder?

Don't you go causing trouble.

[soft grunt]

[shaky breath]

[gasps]

There's something bothering me.

I've told you this a hundred times.

We're here so we can live ordinary lives.

No causing fights or trouble.

[Yoko] And don't even think about killing anyone.

[exhales deeply]

What's wrong?

You going to eat? You want me to blow on it?

[Akira] No, never mind.

-You added too much salt. -Eh?

-Good night. -Hey!

[door opens]

-[Yoko] What's his problem? -[door closes]

That's salty!

[♪ gentle music playing]

[door opens]

[♪ music fades]

[♪ sinister music playing]

[snickers]

[Hina] It's that time of the month for me.

Think I care?

I like blood.

I'm back...

Hurry up and shut the door, you twit.

-Oh, right. -[door closes]

Isaki, you married?

Huh? What's that all about?

No way.

What about you, Mr. Suzuki?

[chuckles] You must be kidding.

You know anyone that marriage brought happiness to?

[Isaki] Hold on here.

There's no way you're older than me.

Is that so? How old do I look?

[Isaki chuckles] What is this? A hostess club?

-[door opens] -Suzuki's almost 40.

Mr. Utsubo...

What? 40?

[Suzuki] Why did you go and tell him?

Make me a drink.

You got plastic surgery?

Quit flapping your lips, you brat.

Isaki, what did you learn about the Maguro Group?

Well, sorry...

-Don't sweat it. -[liquid sloshing]

I'm not in a huge hurry to get info on Maguro.

This here is first.

A new chicken?

[Utsubo] Yeah.

I've had my eye on him since he was around 10.

He's a little over 20 about now.

I want you two to check him out.

His family's assets. His work. His friends. His sexual taste.

The more info, the better.

[Utsubo] Get close to him and find dirt on him.

Gain his trust then exploit his weakness.

Put the weak at ease, then steal everything from them.

That's the way the FBI used to do it.

Let's see here...

Etsuji Kainuma, age 23.

Memorize everything written there.

And imprint his face in your memory.

[Utsubo] Shred it when you're done.

Not just that info, but his life too.

-[birds chirping] -[door opens]

Good morning.

[Misaki's boss] Oh, Sato. Come here.

[Akira] Yes?

You know, Misaki's been in a bad mood.

You two had a fight or something?

[Akira] A fight? No, not at all.

Can you think of anything you did that might have upset her?

[inhales sharply]

Not at all.

[sighs] Is that so?

[Akira] Yeah.

Anyway, when Misaki comes, give her some kind of compliment.

She said she was going to the beauty salon yesterday.

Okay.

[Misaki's boss] When Misaki's in a bad mood,

it's hard for me to get my job done.

[door opens]

[Misaki] Good morning.

-[door closes] -[Misaki's boss] She's here.

Oh.

-Good morning, Prez. -[Misaki's boss] Morning.

Good morning.

Go on, compliment her.

[chair rattles]

That sure is red.

Huh?

-Oh, you mean my top? -[♪ comical music playing]

Not that!

Your skirt sure is white.

[Misaki] Huh? Mm...

So, what about it?

No! Her hair. Her hair.

And your hair is really black.

-Huh? -[Misaki's boss gasps]

Yes, that's the color of my hair.

What's your problem, Sato?

What the heck is wrong with you?

Oh, right. That's the same coloring as the Brazilian coral snake.

-[Misaki] Snake? -[awkward chuckle]

-It's a venomous... -Enough.

Go make a delivery.

[Misaki] A venomous snake?

It's a very beautiful snake...

Enough. Enough.

-[door opens] -[Kainuma] Good morning.

Huh? Did you get a new hairdo, Misaki?

Huh? Uh, yes, actually.

I've got work at a bar starting again tonight.

Really?

[Kainuma] Guess you'll be busy again. Will you be working late?

-Have a conversation like that. -[Akira] Mm...

Yeah, like until 3 a.m. or something.

Really? 3 a.m., huh?

[Kainuma] Then tonight, I can get back the memory card.

At last, I can get into her place.

In fact, if I wanted to, I could lie in wait for her.

I could knock her out and bang her.

I should be able to get away with it.

Okay, let's call it quits for today.

I'm exhausted.

A venomous snake, huh?

Maybe I'll change clothes.

Misaki, he didn't intend to be mean by what he said.

He was complimenting you in his own way.

I understand, but...

It's just kind of...

Later, Sato told me your hair looks cute short.

[Misaki's boss] That's a lie.

[Misaki gasps] He did?

Then he noticed.

Of course he did.

[Misaki's boss] That'll be my story.

Then I'll go to my next job dressed like this.

[Misaki's boss] Cheer up!

Yeah, go on.

[Misaki's boss] Misaki, you look good

no matter what you wear or what your hairdo is.

[Misaki chuckles] You're being too flattering, Prez.

-[Misaki's boss] I'm serious. -[Misaki's boss and Misaki chuckle]

Okay, see you later. Good night.

[Misaki's boss] Okay. See you.

-[Kainuma] Bye, Misaki. -[door opens]

-Dang, I'm exhausted. -[door closes]

Darn that Sato.

[Kainuma] That's right. Everything is Sato's fault.

I was content with just spying, but then he interfered.

[sighs] Sato's on a delivery and will go straight home.

You want to go for a drink, Kai?

No. I've got something to do tonight.

Sorry, Prez.

Uh...

There's no need to apologize.

I'll be going now.

-[Kainuma] Yeah, I'm pretty ticked off. -[♪ tense ominous music playing]

It's Sato... It's society... It's the whole world's fault.

I'm going to do just what I want to do.

[♪ music fades]

[♪ upbeat closing theme music playing]

Next Episode Cheerio

Translated by Brian Athey