Original subtitles

[♪ theme music playing]

The Fable

Because I'm... You know!

[♪ ominous music playing]

[Kainuma] As Tsubasa Yamakawa, she did non-nude erotica.

Then as Miki Kawamura, she became a bikini model

but had to quit when her erotica was exposed online.

[scoffs]

Guess you underestimated the entertainment industry, Misaki.

People's curiosity is piqued by what's covered up.

[snickers]

Maybe it's about time I watched my hidden camera videos.

No, not yet.

How about I get a couple more hours and then I'll leisurely enjoy them?

If I blackmailed her with these old photos,

then maybe... just maybe...

[soft moan]

...she'll let me sleep with her once.

[sizzling]

[Yoko] Quit grilling that saury

and go out with me somewhere.

[Akira] Go by yourself.

Tonight, I'm going to eat saury while I watch Jackal's TV drama.

That's like what ordinary people do.

It is?

I guess I'm getting closer to being ordinary.

[Akira chuckles]

What a bore!

Hmm?

[exhales deeply]

[Yoko] Is that Misaki?

[Akira] Yeah. She's probably headed to her next job.

She said she wants to open her own shop someday.

Not sure what though.

She's working her tail off to save money, huh?

You should get a job too. It's actually pretty fun.

This year will go by in a flash.

For now, I want to enjoy a life that's the same from day to day.

[Kojima] ...two, three. [grunting]

[♪ ominous music playing]

It won't float back up, right?

With all that weight we added, it should be fine.

[Kojima] The fish will nibble it away now.

[breathes nervously]

That guy deserved to die, so don't let it bother you.

There's a saying, "It is a pain to live and a trouble to die."

I took care of the troublesome part for him.

[scoffs]

Grated daikon on saury is the ordinary way to eat it.

And pouring soy sauce on it is also the ordinary way.

I know that much.

What's the matter, Tatsuya? You seem depressed.

- Oh, Yuji. It's about Ai. - [seagulls squawking on TV]

[♪ somber music playing on TV]

[Tatsuya] Ai doesn't want to let me sleep with her.

[Yuji] Well, that's because...

Ai isn't a loose woman.

But your ex-wife,

she let me do her in an instant.

[Yuji] That's not the kind of thing you should say!

She told me that sex with you was boring.

[Yuji] That's even worse to say!

Anyway, don't let it bother you.

[shouts] It's totally traumatizing me!

To be continued

Hang in there, Jackal... I mean, Yuji.

[sobbing]

[customer] Quit moping just because you got dumped.

Us men think logically.

But women think emotionally. Do you understand the difference?

- [customer] I'm going to the can. - [sighs]

All that over a woman?

- [both gasp] - Sorry. Did I bump into you?

No. I'm okay.

I should be the one to apologize.

[wheezing]

[customer] She's...

drinking by herself at the bar?

No way I'm letting this chance slip away.

She's totally my type.

[soft chuckle]

Bartender, get this girl a drink on me.

[soft exclaim]

As a token of apology.

Oh, you don't need to do that.

- [Yoko] Yes! I caught one! - [victorious fanfare]

- Are you alone tonight? - [♪ rock music playing]

Ah...

Yes.

[Yoko] I'll kill time tonight spending it with this guy.

Would it be all right if we shared a drink?

[Yoko] Here we go!

For a guy like him,

I'll play a naive woman who's not used to being around men.

Bartender, I'll have what she's having.

Uh...

Uh... Kahlúa and milk, right?

[internal gasp, shriek]

[Yoko] Come to think of it, this bartender saw me do this last time.

You're a pro, right? You're a pro in this industry, right?

Don't you dare let anything slip, okay?

[splutters]

Do you often come to this bar?

Uh... this is my first time.

I was supposed to meet a friend here,

but they texted me to say they couldn't come.

But since I'm already here...

You thought you'd have a drink, huh?

Yes.

[Yoko] Fake shyness. Fake shyness.

I haven't gone out at night like this in a long time.

And I get drunk easily.

So I'm a little nervous.

[exclaims happily]

[Yoko] See? See? You're totally falling in love!

You love women who say things like that, right?

[gasps]

I'm sorry if I get drunk and say something weird.

[Yoko] And who says things like this.

- [moaning happily] - [bell ringing]

[Yoko] Around 5.7 ft.

Around 150 lbs.

Around 25 years old.

He has an air of total confidence.

I bet he gets plenty of women.

He totally has the vibe of a man

who's made women cry, but never cried over one himself.

I can hardly wait to toy with a man who's so full of himself.

I can't wait to crush his pride...

In fact, I'll turn him into a pathetic basket case!

I mean, recently, I've had absolutely nothing to do.

By the way, do you have a boyfriend?

Oh, of course not.

I only just moved here.

Is that right?

Actually, I'm unattached right now.

You don't have a girlfriend?

No, of course not. Do I look like I have one?

Well, I mean, you're so manly and good-looking.

[Yoko] Come on, I know you love it when complimented on your good points.

But you know, I wish women would admire me for what's on the inside.

[internal shriek]

[Yoko] "But you know..." Obviously, you're confident in your looks!

This is getting better all the time.

[gulps]

[customer] Any family?

Now, it's just me and my older brother.

Really? I'm so jealous. I'd love having a little sister as cute as you.

Oh, please.

I'm not the least bit cute.

No, you're definitely cute.

What's your brother like?

He's kind of sickly and rather feeble.

So, I'm always worried about him.

We're the only two in our family.

[Yoko] I wonder what he'd think if he knew my brother's an invincible hitman.

Is that right?

Our parents got divorced, so my brother and I just moved to Osaka.

I know I need to get my act together, but I keep making mistakes.

Well, you know,

if you need help, feel free to ask me.

I was born and raised in this town, and I've got lots of connections.

[Yoko] Oh, he's going to use that line so he can touch me on the shoulder.

He's the kind of guy who communicates by lightly touching a woman's shoulder.

Okay?

And then I flinch in surprise.

[surprised grunt]

I'm sorry. You kind of scared me.

I'm really not used to talking to men like this.

[grunts]

[Yoko] But I'm actually talking a little too much.

I'll blame it on the liquor.

Oh, dear. I must be getting drunk.

[Yoko] How's that for a line?

[bartender splutters]

[Yoko] Bartender, don't you dare let slip what I do when I get drunk.

You're a pro, right?

A pro, right?

Okay, okay...

[customer] Can I ask you your name?

Eh? S-Sure.

My name's Yuki, Yuki Kawai.

I'm Yoko Sato.

[Yoko] Boss gave it to me.

Then can I call you "Yoko-chan"?

Eh? "Chan"?

I may not look it, but my work life and private life are very full...

[Yoko] Bragging time, is it?

...in Niseko and in summer, I jet ski in Okinawa...

[Yoko] Magnificent!

Bragging about snowboarding, jet skiing, and his watch.

He really works hard so he can brag to women.

He's so shallow, this is awesome!

Here, look.

That's so cool!

[Yoko] Who cares.

[soft gasp]

You're a really mature man.

I admire that.

Uh, well... you do?

[Yoko gasps]

The hand of a man is really so powerful and handsome.

[Yoko] Now, clench your facial muscles... There! A blush!

I'm so charmed.

Well, of course, this is what makes a man.

Oh, wow!

I go to the gym two or three times a week...

- [Yoko] The typical male brag, huh? - [Yuki continues bragging]

It's just money wasted going to the gym and lifting weights.

Way to go!

If you're going to sweat and use up your time,

you'll get way more out of learning a martial art.

But just look how happy he is.

Brother, I wish you could listen to his wisdom on what strong is.

He'd make you laugh more than Jackal.

He's quite something!

I think this is the first time I've had so much fun talking with a man.

[Yoko] How's that for a "first time" line?

Men just love being the "first time" for a woman, right?

[grunts]

Is that right?

[Yoko] Bullseye!

I'd love to have more fun, but knowing when to quit is key.

[gasps] Oh, look at the time.

You're leaving?

My brother will worry.

Ah.

I'll give you my number.

I've got a card. Hold on a second.

[gasps] It's okay to call you?

Of course. Here you go.

But I'm too ashamed to.

[Yoko] Then do this while saying that.

Guys love that contrast.

[exclaims]

I'll see you again, Yuki.

Thank you.

[soft moan]

This feeling is incredible...

Her every move has my heart pounding.

[loud moan]

[sighs]

[Yoko] Yuki, you're so handsome but so shallow.

Just my type.

During this one year off, I could kill three months with Yuki.

I mean, I've got nothing else to do.

[breathing nervously]

[door lock beeping]

[door lock beeping]

Which finger is it?

[door lock beeping]

[Takahashi] Damn!

[door lock chimes, trilling]

[gasps] It opened.

You like sex?

[gasps in fear]

[screams]

[breathing shakily]

[Takahashi] It was a dream...

[breathing shakily]

Why in the world are you buck naked?

What did you want to talk about this early?

Is there a knife shop in this town?

I know you've memorized the map of Taihei.

Yeah, there's one.

But what would you do with a knife?

I don't want my body to get flabby,

so I thought I'd go to the mountains on my days off.

Oh, I just remembered, Mr. Ebihara, the captain,

he's been hospitalized.

Hospitalized?

[Yoko] I don't know why though.

[Takeshi] Sorry about this.

You finally got out, but now I'm like this.

[Kojima] Don't worry about it, Aniki.

I wanted to do a lot more for you.

Never mind that. Just hurry up and get better.

I've got tests again tomorrow.

Depending on the results, they'll put in a catheter,

and I'll be here for another month.

You should be more worried about what you'll do for work.

I was going to do a call-girl service.

All I need is women and a driver.

Don't do call-girls.

Sunagawa's got a hand in that.

[Kojima] I won't run it in my own name.

I'll control it from behind...

Kojima.

I want you to wait until I get released.

I've got a plan all set up for you.

I've got a job much better suited for you than selling women.

Fine, Aniki.

No. Tell me exactly what you'll do.

Okay, I won't do call-girls.

[sighs]

[Kojima] It's been a while, Kuro.

[surprised grunt] You remember me, Mr. Kojima?

I knew you were a bad boy, but I never thought you'd join the yakuza.

Drink up. Go on.

Ah. Thank you.

I'll get right to the point. I want to start a call-girl service.

I was thinking maybe you could find four or five women for me.

[Kuro] Right...

I heard you're pretty good at seducing women.

Takahashi told me.

Well, yeah, but they're all just for me.

I've never "seduced" them.

[Kojima] Just one to attract customers and then a few more.

There's the call-girl joint that Mr. Sunagawa's running, right?

Are you sure it's okay with the group if you run another one?

[Kojima] Ah...

Sunagawa Aniki, huh?

It should be fine.

That place will be closed for a while.

[Kuro] Closed?

I didn't know that.

[Kojima] Their boss disappeared.

He probably took all the money abroad and is banging women.

That guy's never coming back.

- Oh... - [Kojima gulping]

I know one hot woman who could attract customers.

[sighs]

[Misaki] My illustration doesn't seem quite right.

Prez, this is...

for the city's event

where kids can get close to animals, right?

[Misaki's boss] Yeah, for kids in foster care.

That's pretty good.

What don't you like?

It's just not quite...

[grunts]

Hey, Sato.

[Akira] Yes?

Can you draw?

Are you serious?

Kind of.

Use this pen and draw a lion on the graphics tablet.

A lion, huh?

Hmm?

[exhales softly]

I-Is this...

[Akira] A lion.

How do I put this?

It's got lots of happy energy.

[Misaki] The 2-D humor is stunning.

What the heck's that?

A preschooler's scribble?

Are you sure you want to use that for a customer, Prez?

Listen here, Kai. A good drawing doesn't make a picture.

That's right.

A picture that warms and soothes the heart is also a good picture.

Sato, try drawing some other things, like a giraffe and an elephant.

Okay.

[Misaki] Have a seat here.

Tsk.

[Misaki's boss] What's this with the curlicue design on it?

A giraffe.

[Misaki's boss] Then what about this one with a piano design?

A zebra.

[Misaki's boss] And this human carrying a trident?

A zookeeper.

It's not a trident. It's the tool they toss hay with.

Ah. Oh, I see.

Prez, this is...

Okay, I like it.

Let's make the flyer using these.

Sato, you get a 100-yen-an-hour raise.

Isn't that great?

Now you'll make 900 yen an hour.

Is that right?

I've become a 900-yen man now.

[Kuro] Because of her parents' debts,

we got her a job at a production company the group runs.

She was a bikini model and almost got into porn.

She didn't want to go full nude.

Now she works several jobs at once.

She must live around here, huh?

Yeah. I see her sometimes.

There it is.

Here. That's her.

This is from a photo book she did a few years back.

Her real name was Misaki something.

Want me to go and see if I can talk her into it?

You can make money off of good ramen and hot women.

Eat your bento, would you?

Still no appetite?

Sorry. I just can't eat when I think about what happened.

[scoffs] How pathetic.

I'll give you money to get a call girl, so get your rocks off.

That'll clear your mind.

And recruit the girl to work for us.

Huh? You mean the call girl?

What if she's working for another group?

It'll cause trouble.

- What's wrong with trouble? - [♪ tense music playing]

Why'd you become a yakuza?

[Kojima] You're frightened when you see a man die.

You're afraid of causing trouble with another group.

What's your problem?

Now get serious and hire me five women this week.

I'll get our draw, Misaki, even if I have to rough her up.

Uh... does Captain know about this?

Huh?

Oh, never mind.

Don't worry.

For every bundle of cash we bring in, the group will see things our way.

You know,

the yakuza can't live off of lofty words.

[inhales sharply]

Sunagawa Aniki.

Another resident said they saw some guy pay him a visit.

What'd he look like?

You won't believe this, but he had a scar on his face.

[grumbles]

Kojima...

[breathing angrily] What the hell have you done?

[♪ closing theme music playing]

Next Episode You Mean a Hitman...?

Translated by Brian Athey