Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,235 --> 00:00:02,595
(Tessa) IN THE ANIMAL KINGDOM,
2
00:00:02,670 --> 00:00:05,140
WHEN A YOUNG PRIMATE IS
WITHOUT ITS MOTHER...
3
00:00:05,206 --> 00:00:07,136
(doorbell rings)
4
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:09,678
(man singing indistinctly
in African dialect)
5
00:00:09,743 --> 00:00:13,483
A NEIGHBORING MATRIARCH WILL
OFTEN ASSUME RESPONSIBILITY.
6
00:00:14,815 --> 00:00:16,615
WHAT'S THIS?
7
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,086
ARE YOU KIDDING?
8
00:00:20,154 --> 00:00:23,224
AGAIN WITH THE NO PUDDING.
THIS IS ABSURD.
9
00:00:23,291 --> 00:00:24,731
WHO MADE YOU THAT LUNCH?
10
00:00:24,792 --> 00:00:26,962
THE THING IS, DAD WAS
PRETTY TERRITORIAL HIMSELF.
11
00:00:27,027 --> 00:00:29,027
I DON'T KNOW, GEORGE.
ONE OF THE MOMS.
12
00:00:29,097 --> 00:00:30,897
WHICH MOM?
13
00:00:30,964 --> 00:00:33,574
SHEILA? WAS IT SHEILA SHAY?
14
00:00:33,634 --> 00:00:36,304
OKAY, LOOK, SOMETIMES SHEILA
MAKES ME LUNCH,
15
00:00:36,370 --> 00:00:38,110
AND IT'S USUALLY PRETTY GOOD.
16
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,612
SHE'S A MAGICIAN
WITH THE CHICKEN SALAD.
17
00:00:40,674 --> 00:00:41,984
A MAGICIAN? REALLY?
18
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,682
YEAH, BUT RECENTLY, SHE'S BEEN
CRAPPING OUT ON THE PUDDING,
19
00:00:43,744 --> 00:00:45,414
AND... (inhales sharply)
I'M NOT SURE HOW TO BROACH IT.
20
00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:47,349
YOU DON'T THINK
IT'S A LITTLE WEIRD
21
00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:50,175
THAT SHE MAKES YOU LUNCH...
YOU'RE THE ONE WHO WANTED
TO MOVE HERE. NOT ME.
22
00:00:50,251 --> 00:00:51,551
WHEN I LEAVE YOU LUNCH MONEY
EVERY DAY?
23
00:00:51,619 --> 00:00:53,919
ALMOST EVERY DAY.
YOU FORGOT TWICE LAST WEEK.
24
00:00:53,987 --> 00:00:56,187
BUT IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, GEORGE.
ON THE DAYS YOU FORGET,
25
00:00:56,257 --> 00:00:58,187
I EITHER GO
SURROGATE BROWN BAG,
26
00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,629
OR I WITHDRAW CASH
27
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:02,333
FROM THE COLLEGE FUND
THAT SHEILA STARTED IN MY NAME.
28
00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:04,396
I MEAN, YOU'RE KIDDING.
29
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:05,765
IT'S A VERY ROBUST ACCOUNT.
30
00:01:05,833 --> 00:01:08,703
THROWS OFF...
(whispers) A LOT OF INTEREST.
31
00:01:08,769 --> 00:01:12,009
IT WASN'T JUST THE COLLEGE FUND
THAT WAS BOTHERING DAD.
32
00:01:12,072 --> 00:01:13,712
THANK YOU, GEORGE.
33
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,484
THE NEIGHBORHOOD THANKS YOU.
34
00:01:15,543 --> 00:01:17,683
IT WAS SHEILA SHAY.
HA!
35
00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,075
YOU MISSED A SPOT.
36
00:01:19,147 --> 00:01:22,877
SHE SAID SHE WAS
JUST BEING "NEIGHBORLY,"
37
00:01:22,950 --> 00:01:26,220
BUT IT WAS PRETTY OBVIOUS
SHE WAS TRYING TO CO-PARENT,
38
00:01:26,287 --> 00:01:29,187
ONE CAPFUL AT A TIME.
39
00:01:30,558 --> 00:01:32,928
GET YOUR BAG.
40
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:34,503
I'M DRIVING YOU
TO SCHOOL TODAY.
41
00:01:34,562 --> 00:01:36,662
ARE YOU SURE?
BECAUSE SHEILA OFFERED.
42
00:01:36,730 --> 00:01:38,430
GET YOUR BAG.
43
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:42,704
Captioned by
Closed Captioning Services, Inc.
44
00:01:42,770 --> 00:01:47,510
(woman) * LAST NIGHT I HAD
A PLEASANT NIGHTMARE *
45
00:01:47,575 --> 00:01:50,835
* DA-DA-DA-DA,
DA, DA, DA, DA *
46
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,351
LET'S GET INVOLVED, MOMS.
47
00:01:52,413 --> 00:01:54,153
WITHOUT THE "P,"
WE'RE JUST "T" AND "A."
48
00:01:54,215 --> 00:01:56,045
HEY, STEP IT UP, KAREN.
ALL HANDS ON DECK.
49
00:01:56,116 --> 00:01:57,646
WHAT DECK?
50
00:01:57,718 --> 00:02:01,088
OH, GEORGE! HEY. I'M JUST DOING
A LITTLE P.T.A. RECRUITMENT.
51
00:02:01,155 --> 00:02:02,655
WE LOST JoANN JUNEBACH.
52
00:02:02,723 --> 00:02:05,893
SHE WAS THE ONE WHO WAS ARRESTED
FOR GIVING HER DAUGHTER BOTOX.
53
00:02:05,959 --> 00:02:07,359
SHE GAVE HER DAUGHTER BOTOX?
54
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:08,998
ANYHOO, JoANN LOST CUSTODY,
55
00:02:09,062 --> 00:02:10,802
AND AFTER THAT,
SHE REALLY FELL APART.
56
00:02:10,864 --> 00:02:13,134
WELL, SURE. I IMAGINE,
LOSING YOUR DAUGHTER...
57
00:02:13,201 --> 00:02:14,901
NO, I'M TALKING ABOUT
HER DAUGHTER.
58
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,208
WITHOUT THE BOTOX,
SHE FELL APART.
59
00:02:17,271 --> 00:02:19,371
(scoffs) 15 GOING ON 50.
60
00:02:19,440 --> 00:02:21,710
I SWEAR, THE SADDEST THING.
61
00:02:21,775 --> 00:02:22,905
SHE GOT THESE...
62
00:02:22,976 --> 00:02:25,046
AND THEN SHE GOT THESE...
63
00:02:25,112 --> 00:02:26,352
TESSA! ALL GOOD ON LUNCH?
64
00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:27,854
ALL GOOD ON LUNCH.
65
00:02:27,915 --> 00:02:30,345
OH, ALL GOOD ON LUNCH, SHEILA.
BYE, HONEY. (clears throat)
66
00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:31,448
BYE.
67
00:02:31,519 --> 00:02:34,119
LOOK, I-I-I REALLY APPRECIATE
THE GESTURE,
68
00:02:34,188 --> 00:02:36,158
BUT YOU DON'T NEED
TO DO THAT ANYMORE.
69
00:02:36,224 --> 00:02:37,994
I'VE GOT IT COVERED.
YOU CAN STOP.
70
00:02:38,058 --> 00:02:39,428
IT'S MY SINCERE PLEASURE,
GEORGE.
71
00:02:39,493 --> 00:02:41,093
N-NO. I DON'T THINK
YOU UNDERSTAND.
72
00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:43,801
WHAT I'M SAYING IS
I WANT YOU TO STOP.
(school bell rings)
73
00:02:43,864 --> 00:02:45,834
I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU'RE SAYING,
BUT I'M NOT GONNA STOP.
74
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,199
BYE, MOM.
SEE, AS PRESIDENT OF THE P.T.A.,
75
00:02:48,269 --> 00:02:50,669
I SEE ALL THE CHILDREN
AS MY OWN.
76
00:02:50,738 --> 00:02:53,168
I SAID BYE.
THAT'S WHY EACH
AND EVERY ONE OF THEM
77
00:02:53,241 --> 00:02:55,081
GETS MY UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.
78
00:02:55,142 --> 00:02:58,882
I'M GOING TO CLASS.
ALL RIGHT! YOU'RE GOING
TO CLASS. CONGRATULATIONS.
79
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:00,576
I'LL SEE YOU AT PICKUP, HONEY.
80
00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,178
YOU KNOW, MAYBE I SHOULD
JOIN THE P.T.A.
81
00:03:02,250 --> 00:03:03,820
SOUNDS--SOUNDS LIKE A FUN WAY
82
00:03:03,884 --> 00:03:05,724
FOR A HANDS-ON PARENT
SUCH AS MYSELF TO GET INVOLVED.
(gasps)
83
00:03:05,786 --> 00:03:08,486
(laughs) YOU IN THE P.T.A.?
GOD, NO.
84
00:03:08,556 --> 00:03:10,586
ARE YOU TELLING ME
I CANNOT JOIN THE P.T.A.?
85
00:03:10,658 --> 00:03:14,188
NO, I'M TELLING YOU
YOU SHALL NOT JOIN THE P.T.A.
86
00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,102
I CAN'T?
YOU SHAN'T.
87
00:03:16,163 --> 00:03:18,133
OH, BUT I SHALL, SHEILA.
88
00:03:18,198 --> 00:03:19,798
THE THING IS,
89
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,167
I SHALL.
90
00:03:21,235 --> 00:03:24,335
MY, THIS IS GETTING
DOWNRIGHT ELIZABETHAN.
91
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:26,535
THE SCHOOL HALLWAY CAN BE
A HOSTILE ENVIRONMENT,
92
00:03:26,607 --> 00:03:27,907
SO I DECIDED TO TAKE A CUE
93
00:03:27,975 --> 00:03:30,275
FROM THE GIANT MUDSKIPPER
OF BORNEO
94
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:32,914
AND BURROW
IN THE GIRLS' ROOM.
95
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:35,820
(knock on door)
(Mr. Wolfe) TESSA,
CAN I COME IN?
96
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:38,523
(door creaks)
97
00:03:38,586 --> 00:03:40,216
WHAT ARE YOU DOING
IN THE GIRLS' ROOM?
98
00:03:40,288 --> 00:03:42,358
I COULD ASK YOU THE SAME THING.
99
00:03:42,423 --> 00:03:44,733
TESSA, YOUR THIRD PERIOD IS
AN ELECTIVE.
100
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:48,562
I KNOW. I ELECT TO READ...
IN THE BATHROOM.
101
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:54,973
THERE ARE MANY ENRICHING
ELECTIVES TO CHOOSE FROM--
102
00:03:55,035 --> 00:03:56,335
DAY TRADING...
103
00:03:56,404 --> 00:03:57,844
(telephone rings)
104
00:03:57,905 --> 00:04:00,305
FLAT-IRONING...
105
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:02,281
DRAMA...
106
00:04:02,343 --> 00:04:04,113
BECAUSE I SAID
THAT I WAS INTO HIM,
107
00:04:04,177 --> 00:04:05,877
AND YOU BOTH WENT FOR HIM
ANYWAY.
108
00:04:05,946 --> 00:04:09,216
WE DIDN'T GO FOR HIM, KIMANTHA.
HE WENT FOR US, KIMANTHA.
109
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:13,523
KAITLYN, KENZIE,
YOU SKANKS ARE REAL WHORES.
110
00:04:13,587 --> 00:04:15,287
YOU'RE A WHORE!
NO, YOU'RE A WHORE!
111
00:04:15,356 --> 00:04:16,686
YOU'RE A WHORE.
112
00:04:16,757 --> 00:04:19,027
YEAH, I'D LIKE TO AVOID
DEALING WITH THE K.K.K.
113
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,232
(Kaitlyn) YOU'RE A WHORE!
(Kimantha) NO, YOU'RE A WHORE.
114
00:04:21,295 --> 00:04:22,455
KENZIE, KAITLYN,
AND KIMANTHA.
115
00:04:22,530 --> 00:04:24,530
YOU'RE BOTH WHORES.
OKAY...
116
00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:26,028
TESSA, I'M STUMPED.
117
00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,539
WHAT KIND OF ELECTIVE
ARE YOU INTERESTED IN?
118
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,773
DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING UNPOPULAR
AND POORLY SUPERVISED?
119
00:04:32,840 --> 00:04:35,940
SCHOOL NEWSPAPER.
BUT YOU DON'T WANT THAT.
120
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,279
DON'T I?
121
00:04:37,345 --> 00:04:39,345
(keyboard clacking)
LOCATED IN THE BASEMENT,
122
00:04:39,413 --> 00:04:41,853
"THE CHATSWIN CHRONICLE" WAS
THE PERFECT PLACE...
(knock on door)
123
00:04:41,915 --> 00:04:44,045
TO FLY BELOW RADAR.
(door squeaks)
124
00:04:44,117 --> 00:04:45,247
HELLO?
125
00:04:45,319 --> 00:04:46,919
HELLO.
126
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:49,287
HEY. I'M TESSA.
127
00:04:51,224 --> 00:04:53,194
I SIGNED UP
FOR THE SCHOOL NEWSPAPER
128
00:04:53,260 --> 00:04:55,100
AS AN ELECTIVE OR WHATEVER.
129
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,732
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE EXPECTING,
130
00:04:57,798 --> 00:04:59,968
BUT YOU'RE GONNA NEED
TO LOWER YOUR EXPECTATIONS.
131
00:05:00,033 --> 00:05:02,573
I THINK WE'RE GOOD.
I EXPECT NOTHING.
132
00:05:02,636 --> 00:05:05,836
NO ONE READS
"THE CHATSWIN CHRONICLE."
133
00:05:07,207 --> 00:05:10,407
THEY LINE THE HAMSTER CAGE
WITH IT IN THE SCIENCE LAB.
134
00:05:10,478 --> 00:05:11,978
THEY CLEAN UP VOMIT WITH IT
IN THE CAFETERIA.
135
00:05:12,045 --> 00:05:13,745
I'M TOLD THEY USE
THREE COPIES
136
00:05:13,814 --> 00:05:15,454
TO STEADY A TABLE LEG
IN THE TEACHERS' LOUNGE.
137
00:05:15,516 --> 00:05:17,386
I THINK THAT HURTS THE MOST.
138
00:05:17,451 --> 00:05:20,551
SO IF NO ONE READS IT,
WHY DO YOU PUBLISH IT?
139
00:05:20,621 --> 00:05:22,591
UM, BECAUSE I BELIEVE?
140
00:05:22,656 --> 00:05:25,356
THAT'S WHY I DEDICATE
ALL MY FREE TIME TO THE PAPER.
141
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,026
EXCEPT WEDNESDAY NIGHTS.
142
00:05:27,094 --> 00:05:28,704
WHAT'S WEDNESDAY NIGHTS?
143
00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,602
THAT'S WHEN
THE "MEDIUM" FAN CLUB MEETS
144
00:05:30,664 --> 00:05:33,474
TO RE-ENACT SCENES
FROM THE TV SHOW "MEDIUM."
145
00:05:40,340 --> 00:05:43,140
IF THE SCHOOL PAPER
WASN'T ALREADY UNPOPULAR,
146
00:05:43,210 --> 00:05:46,510
THIS KID'S NAME ON THE MASTHEAD
WASN'T GONNA HELP.
147
00:05:47,748 --> 00:05:48,918
(chuckles)
148
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,022
LADIES, I WOULD LIKE
TO INTRODUCE EVERYONE
149
00:05:51,084 --> 00:05:54,324
TO OUR NEWEST AND ONLY MEMBER
WITH A MEMBER...
150
00:05:54,388 --> 00:05:55,958
(laughter)
(chuckles) GEORGE ALTMAN.
151
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,263
OH, WOW. OKAY.
(applause)
152
00:05:57,324 --> 00:06:00,434
WELL, I-I-I PROMISE NOT TO HOLD
MY MEMBERSHIP AGAINST YOU.
153
00:06:00,494 --> 00:06:01,734
OH! (laughs)
(laughter)
154
00:06:01,795 --> 00:06:03,325
ALL RIGHT,
CAN WE SETTLE, PLEASE?
155
00:06:03,397 --> 00:06:04,667
CAN WE FOCUS UP AND SETTLE?
156
00:06:04,732 --> 00:06:08,402
CAN I HAVE ALL EYES UP HERE,
PLEASE, AND SETTLE?
157
00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,599
FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS--
158
00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:14,611
AH! HAS TESSA ALTMAN
HAD ALL OF HER SHOTS?
159
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:19,275
IS SHE UP TO DATE
ON HER IMMUNIZATIONS?
160
00:06:19,346 --> 00:06:20,606
YOU'RE KIDDING ME.
161
00:06:20,681 --> 00:06:23,621
WELL, WE KNOW THAT YOU TEND
TO BE A LITTLE BUSY.
162
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:25,924
OKAY, YOU KNOW WHAT?
163
00:06:25,986 --> 00:06:28,486
I MAY NOT MOTHER THE WAY
YOU MOTHERS MOTHER,
164
00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:32,526
BUT I AM A CARING
AND RESPONSIBLE PARENT.
165
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:34,703
AND, YES, I ALSO HAPPEN
TO BE A WORKING PARENT.
166
00:06:34,762 --> 00:06:37,062
IN CASE YOU'VE NEVER MET ONE
BEFORE, HELLO. HOW DO YOU DO?
167
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:38,330
HOW DO YOU DO?
168
00:06:38,398 --> 00:06:40,528
AND WORKING PARENTS
SOMETIMES FORGET THINGS,
169
00:06:40,601 --> 00:06:41,941
AND SOMETIMES THEY RUN LATE,
170
00:06:42,002 --> 00:06:44,942
BUT THAT IS BECAUSE WE ARE
JUGGLING MORE THAN YOU.
171
00:06:45,005 --> 00:06:46,865
(women gasp)
GEORGE.
172
00:06:46,940 --> 00:06:49,480
HOW DARE YOU.
WE WORK VERY HARD.
173
00:06:49,543 --> 00:06:52,083
WITH ALL DUE RESPECT,
THE P.T.A. IS NOT A JOB.
174
00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:53,545
IT'S A CLUB.
175
00:06:53,614 --> 00:06:55,754
(women gasp)
AND CERTAIN CLUB MEMBERS
NEED TO REALIZE
176
00:06:55,816 --> 00:06:59,946
THAT LIFE ISN'T ALL
LEMON BARS AND LEMONADE.
177
00:07:00,020 --> 00:07:01,490
(crunches)
178
00:07:01,555 --> 00:07:04,155
ALTHOUGH
THESE ARE TOP-NOTCH.
179
00:07:07,695 --> 00:07:09,595
ALSO,
THE LEMONADE IS VERY GOOD.
180
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,603
YOU ARE OUT OF ORDER,
GEORGE.
181
00:07:11,665 --> 00:07:12,965
WHAT'S THE MATTER, SHEILA?
NOT ENJOYING
182
00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,243
MY UNSOLICITED OPINIONS
AND OVERBEARING PRESENCE?
183
00:07:15,302 --> 00:07:17,402
ALL RIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT?
THAT'S IT! I AM GAVELING YOU!
184
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:19,111
YOU ARE BEING GAVELED!
185
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:22,082
YOU'RE GAVELING ME? MAYBE IT'S
TIME SOMEBODY GAVELED YOU.
186
00:07:22,142 --> 00:07:23,342
(woman gasps)
OH. OH.
187
00:07:23,410 --> 00:07:25,110
THE P.T.A. HAS NOT
BEEN THIS EXCITING
188
00:07:25,178 --> 00:07:28,318
SINCE KONNIE KUSHELL
HAD HER PSYCHOTIC BREAK.
189
00:07:28,381 --> 00:07:29,951
OOH, WHICH ONE'S KONNIE?
190
00:07:30,017 --> 00:07:31,547
RIGHT HERE.
191
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:36,886
SO YOU'RE GONNA
DROP OUT, RIGHT?
192
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,787
NO. NO. IF I QUIT
THE P.T.A. NOW, SHEILA WINS.
193
00:07:38,859 --> 00:07:40,889
I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND IT.
WOMEN USUALLY LIKE ME.
194
00:07:40,961 --> 00:07:44,261
GEORGE,
CUCUMBER-INFUSED WASHCLOTH?
195
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,801
I'M FINE.
YEAH, YOU ARE.
196
00:07:49,436 --> 00:07:50,936
SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, MAN,
197
00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,874
WHAT DO YOU THINK
I SHOULD DO?
198
00:07:52,940 --> 00:07:55,240
WELL, IF I WERE YOU,
I'D ASK HER OUT.
199
00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,078
WHAT? SHEILA?
200
00:07:57,144 --> 00:08:00,914
NO. JOCELYN THE WASHCLOTH GIRL.
MAN, WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
201
00:08:00,981 --> 00:08:02,881
YOU ARE SO OBSESSED
WITH M.I.L.F.s,
202
00:08:02,950 --> 00:08:05,620
THAT YOU DON'T EVEN NOTICE
THE I.L.F.s.
203
00:08:07,454 --> 00:08:09,194
MALIK NEEDED
SOME HONEST FEEDBACK,
204
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:11,356
AND HONESTLY,
"THE CHATSWIN CHRONICLE"
205
00:08:11,424 --> 00:08:14,034
WAS AS LAME AS THE WAY
HE SPENT WEDNESDAY NIGHTS.
206
00:08:14,094 --> 00:08:17,064
AND I SEE YOU SPENT
A FULL PAGE HERE
207
00:08:17,130 --> 00:08:18,470
ON THE CAFETERIA MENU.
208
00:08:18,532 --> 00:08:19,802
HEY, I BROKE
"NO MORE FISH TACOS"
209
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:22,437
A FULL WEEK
BEFORE THE ANNOUNCEMENT.
210
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,942
COOL.
211
00:08:24,004 --> 00:08:25,574
I KNOW. AND STILL, NO ONE READS
"THE CHATSWIN CHRONICLE."
212
00:08:25,639 --> 00:08:27,979
"CHRONICLE'S"
NOT EVEN A WORD.
213
00:08:28,041 --> 00:08:29,811
IT IS A WORD.
214
00:08:29,877 --> 00:08:32,147
"CHRONICLE" SOUNDS LIKE
SOMETHING ON THE SIDE OF A BOAT.
215
00:08:32,212 --> 00:08:33,852
YOU MEAN "BARNACLE"?
216
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,884
MAYBE WE SHOULD CHANGE
THE NAME OF THE PAPER.
217
00:08:35,949 --> 00:08:38,419
IT'S OBVIOUSLY
CONFUSING SOME PEOPLE.
218
00:08:38,485 --> 00:08:40,645
YEAH, AND ALSO, IT'S BORING.
219
00:08:40,721 --> 00:08:42,521
BUT, YOU GUYS, SERIOUSLY,
YOU KNOW WHO HAS FAT KNEES?
220
00:08:42,590 --> 00:08:46,230
HANNAH McCLEARY. AND IT'S WEIRD
BECAUSE THE REST OF HER IS THIN.
221
00:08:46,293 --> 00:08:49,403
MALIK, THAT'S THE KIND OF STUFF
THESE PEOPLE CARE ABOUT,
222
00:08:49,462 --> 00:08:50,762
NOT WORD JUMBLES.
223
00:08:50,831 --> 00:08:52,131
BUT IT'S A NEWSPAPER.
224
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:54,599
WELL, IT WAS NEWS TO ME
WHEN I SAW HER FAT KNEES.
225
00:08:54,668 --> 00:08:55,998
DON'T YOU SEE?
226
00:08:56,069 --> 00:08:58,139
THE REASON THESE KIDS
AREN'T READING YOUR PAPER
227
00:08:58,205 --> 00:08:59,305
IS BECAUSE MOST OF THEM ARE
228
00:08:59,372 --> 00:09:04,082
GOSSIPY, SUPERFICIAL,
MEAN-SPIRITED MATERIALISTS,
229
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:06,184
LIKE DALIA.
230
00:09:06,246 --> 00:09:08,516
YEAH. AND YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE?
231
00:09:08,582 --> 00:09:10,722
I HEARD TERRY GARSEN
FROM BOYS' LACROSSE
232
00:09:10,784 --> 00:09:13,594
LOST HIS VIRGINITY
TO STACY UNGER FROM CHEER,
233
00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,724
AND I KNOW FOR A FACT...
234
00:09:15,789 --> 00:09:18,129
SHE HAS CELLULITE.
THERE YOU HAVE IT.
235
00:09:18,191 --> 00:09:20,291
SO YOU'RE SAYING IF I WANT
PEOPLE TO READ MY PAPER,
236
00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:22,500
ALL I HAVE TO DO IS TRASH
THE KIDS WE GO TO SCHOOL WITH?
237
00:09:22,562 --> 00:09:25,932
AND I UNDERSTAND WHY YOU
MIGHT NOT WANT TO DO THAT--
I'M IN!
238
00:09:28,201 --> 00:09:30,441
SINCE I WAS FORCED
TO TAKE AN ELECTIVE,
239
00:09:30,503 --> 00:09:31,913
I ELECTED TO HELP.
240
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:33,672
WE CAN CALL IT
"THE CHATSWIN CHATTERER."
241
00:09:33,741 --> 00:09:36,341
"CHATTERER" IS NOT A WORD.
242
00:09:36,409 --> 00:09:37,809
I MEAN...
243
00:09:37,878 --> 00:09:39,848
IT IS.
244
00:09:41,281 --> 00:09:42,721
(grunts)
245
00:09:42,783 --> 00:09:44,153
(beep)
104.
246
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:47,287
GEORGE!
OH, I'LL BE RIGHT BACK, HON.
247
00:09:47,354 --> 00:09:48,364
GEORGE!
248
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:49,861
GEORGE, HEY!
HEY.
249
00:09:49,923 --> 00:09:51,423
I'M GLAD I CAUGHT YOU.
250
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:52,891
I WANT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT SOMETHING
251
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:56,800
THAT MAY BE NONE OF MY BUSINESS,
BUT ALSO KINDA IS.
252
00:09:56,864 --> 00:09:59,074
YOU NEED TO DROP OUT
OF THE P.T.A.
253
00:09:59,132 --> 00:10:00,172
WHAT? WHY?
254
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,373
TODAY'S MEETING WAS
A TOTAL DISASTER,
255
00:10:02,435 --> 00:10:03,995
IN CASE YOU DIDN'T NOTICE.
256
00:10:04,071 --> 00:10:06,371
YOU OFFENDED JUST ABOUT
EVERY ONE OF THOSE WOMEN.
257
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:07,939
YEAH, WELL,
THEY OFFENDED ME.
258
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,878
INDIVIDUALLY,
THEY'RE HARMLESS,
259
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,153
BUT WHEN THEY WORK TOGETHER,
THEY CAN BE A REAL BITCH.
260
00:10:13,213 --> 00:10:16,183
I'M NOT GONNA JUST DISAPPEAR
BECAUSE SHEILA DOESN'T LIKE ME.
261
00:10:16,249 --> 00:10:19,349
GEORGE, THESE WOMEN
ARE PACK ANIMALS.
262
00:10:19,419 --> 00:10:20,989
HEY, BETH.
263
00:10:21,054 --> 00:10:24,164
AND LIKE IT OR NOT, YOU'RE NEVER
GONNA BE A PART OF THEIR PACK.
264
00:10:24,224 --> 00:10:25,794
WELL, THAT'S FINE, BUT I'M NOT
QUITTING THE P.T.A.
265
00:10:25,859 --> 00:10:27,429
THOSE WOMEN ARE JUDGING ME,
266
00:10:27,494 --> 00:10:29,934
AND I HAVE JUST AS MUCH RIGHT
TO BE THERE AS THEY DO.
267
00:10:29,997 --> 00:10:32,427
WELL, I SUSPECT SHEILA IS GONNA
DO EVERYTHING IN HER POWER
268
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,069
TO MAKE YOU FEEL OTHERWISE.
269
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,674
OH? OH, REALLY? WELL, LET ME
ASSURE YOU OF ONE THING, DALLAS.
270
00:10:36,737 --> 00:10:38,567
IN THE--IN THE FIGHT
BETWEEN, UH,
271
00:10:38,638 --> 00:10:40,808
SHEILA SHAY
AND GEORGE ALTMAN,
272
00:10:40,874 --> 00:10:42,944
IT'S GONNA BE ALTMAN.
273
00:10:45,245 --> 00:10:49,075
YOU CAN'T TAKE THOSE TOWELS
OFF THE PROPERTY!
274
00:10:49,149 --> 00:10:50,249
THE NEXT DAY,
275
00:10:50,317 --> 00:10:52,587
"THE CHATSWIN CHATTERER"
DEBUTED AS A HIT.
276
00:10:52,652 --> 00:10:54,692
STUDENTS EXPRESSED
THEIR EXCITEMENT
277
00:10:54,755 --> 00:10:56,585
WITH THE ULTIMATE SIGN
OF APPROVAL--
278
00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:58,056
SPEAKING IN ACRONYMS.
279
00:10:58,125 --> 00:10:59,685
O.M.G.!
280
00:10:59,760 --> 00:11:00,860
L.M.A.O.!
281
00:11:00,928 --> 00:11:03,998
O.M.G. I.M.H.O.,
THIS IS PHOTOSHOPPED.
282
00:11:04,064 --> 00:11:07,744
O.M.G. DID YOU SEE PAGE FOUR?
B.R.B.
283
00:11:07,801 --> 00:11:10,371
O.M.G. T.M.I.
284
00:11:10,437 --> 00:11:13,007
V.T.L.? H.H.I.S.!
285
00:11:13,073 --> 00:11:14,213
"S.T.B.Y."
286
00:11:14,274 --> 00:11:16,114
IT'S LIKE A WHOLE NEW TAKE
ON THE WORD JUMBLE.
287
00:11:16,176 --> 00:11:20,376
MALIK WENT FROM BEING THE KID
PEOPLE WANTED OUT OF THE WAY
288
00:11:20,447 --> 00:11:23,947
TO THE KID
PEOPLE GOT OUT OF THE WAY OF.
289
00:11:26,754 --> 00:11:28,664
SHEILA.
290
00:11:28,722 --> 00:11:30,922
GREAT PARTY.
291
00:11:30,991 --> 00:11:34,331
I CAN'T BELIEVE HE HAD
THE NERVE TO SHOW UP.
292
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:36,804
OKAY, PLAN "B." LET'S GO.
293
00:11:36,864 --> 00:11:38,334
(clinks glass)
294
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,098
LADIES!
295
00:11:40,167 --> 00:11:43,667
TONIGHT WE ARE UNITED AS MOMS.
296
00:11:43,737 --> 00:11:44,837
HEAR, HEAR.
297
00:11:44,905 --> 00:11:47,335
AND AS MOMS,
WE ALL KNOW THE STRESS
298
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,377
THAT CARRYING A CHILD
299
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:51,981
CAN PLACE ON OUR CHI
AND ON OUR CHICHI.
300
00:11:52,045 --> 00:11:54,475
(laughter)
SO TONIGHT'S ACTIVITY
301
00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,247
IS A WORKOUT
WHICH WILL DO WONDERS
302
00:11:56,316 --> 00:12:00,316
FOR YOUR SELF-ESTEEM
AND... INCONTINENCE.
303
00:12:00,387 --> 00:12:02,057
(ripping sound)
304
00:12:02,122 --> 00:12:03,762
(women gasp)
305
00:12:03,824 --> 00:12:05,334
AAH!
(woman) OH!
306
00:12:05,392 --> 00:12:07,232
(hip-hop music playing)
307
00:12:07,294 --> 00:12:09,064
OH!
308
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,459
YEAH.
309
00:12:10,530 --> 00:12:12,870
(woman) OW!
310
00:12:12,933 --> 00:12:14,173
***
311
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:15,904
WHOO!
312
00:12:15,969 --> 00:12:18,139
BET YOU FEEL LIKE
DISAPPEARING RIGHT ABOUT NOW.
313
00:12:18,205 --> 00:12:21,235
(man) * LOOKING SO DAMN EDIBLE
AND I GOTTA SAY HELLO *
314
00:12:21,308 --> 00:12:23,338
* TRYING TO STEP
IN THE CLUB... *
(gasps)
315
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,710
***
316
00:12:24,778 --> 00:12:27,548
HA HA!
(applause)
317
00:12:27,614 --> 00:12:29,424
OH, YEAH!
318
00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:30,852
***
319
00:12:30,918 --> 00:12:32,488
(spritzing)
320
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,522
***
321
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,958
HUH? HUH?
322
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:39,485
HUH?
323
00:12:39,559 --> 00:12:41,659
HA HA.
324
00:12:41,728 --> 00:12:42,858
AHH.
325
00:12:42,930 --> 00:12:44,760
WHAT IS SHE DOING?
326
00:12:44,832 --> 00:12:46,332
MORNING ROUTINE?
327
00:12:46,399 --> 00:12:48,739
(groans)
328
00:12:48,802 --> 00:12:50,142
UH... OH.
(music stops)
329
00:12:50,203 --> 00:12:51,743
I'M SORRY. I'M SORRY.
330
00:12:51,805 --> 00:12:55,075
I-I-I TRIED, YOU GUYS,
BUT THIS ISN'T ME. I'M NOT SEXY.
331
00:12:55,142 --> 00:12:57,742
OH! DEENA DOOGAN,
DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT!
332
00:12:57,811 --> 00:12:59,881
YOU ARE SO SEXY!
333
00:12:59,947 --> 00:13:01,477
ISN'T SHE, EVERYBODY?
334
00:13:01,548 --> 00:13:02,978
(women murmuring)
335
00:13:03,050 --> 00:13:06,120
THANKS, GUYS, BUT, UH,
IT'S--IT'S REALLY NOT TRUE.
336
00:13:06,186 --> 00:13:08,986
MY, UH, HUSBAND AND I
HAVE NOT BEEN INTIMATE
337
00:13:09,056 --> 00:13:10,916
IN ALMOST A DECADE.
338
00:13:10,991 --> 00:13:13,561
I COOK, I CLEAN,
I-I DO EVERYTHING,
339
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,456
BUT HE STILL DOESN'T WANT ME.
340
00:13:15,528 --> 00:13:18,668
IT'S BECAUSE YOU DO
EVERYTHING FOR HIM.
341
00:13:18,731 --> 00:13:21,501
THAT'S THE PROBLEM.
342
00:13:21,568 --> 00:13:23,698
MEN NEED TO BE NEEDED.
343
00:13:23,770 --> 00:13:26,170
YOUR HUSBAND FEELS...
EMASCULATED?
344
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:27,939
DEFINITELY.
MARGINALIZED?
345
00:13:28,008 --> 00:13:29,538
NO QUESTION.
IMPOTENT?
346
00:13:29,609 --> 00:13:31,539
I'M NOT A DOCTOR, BUT LOOK,
347
00:13:31,611 --> 00:13:33,351
IF YOU WANT HIM TO WANT YOU,
348
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:36,953
JUST LET HIM COME TO THE RESCUE
EVERY NOW AND THEN.
349
00:13:37,017 --> 00:13:38,387
THAT'S ALL I'M SAYING.
350
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,351
THIS IS RIDICULOUS!
351
00:13:40,420 --> 00:13:42,820
ARE YOU MOMS GONNA SIT HERE
AND TAKE ADVICE
352
00:13:42,890 --> 00:13:45,260
ABOUT MEN FROM A MAN? (laughs)
353
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:49,095
GEORGE MAY NOT HAVE BEEN
MOM ENOUGH FOR SHEILA,
354
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:50,562
BUT AT THAT MOMENT,
355
00:13:50,630 --> 00:13:52,800
SHEILA WASN'T MAN ENOUGH
FOR THE MOMS.
356
00:13:52,866 --> 00:13:55,936
HI. I HAVE A QUESTION
ABOUT MY HUSBAND.
357
00:13:56,003 --> 00:13:57,703
ME, TOO.
(woman) ME, TOO.
358
00:13:57,770 --> 00:13:59,940
(woman) WE'RE NOT REALLY DONE
TALKING ABOUT MY SITUATION.
359
00:14:00,007 --> 00:14:01,437
ONE AT A TIME, LADIES.
DON'T GRAB.
360
00:14:01,508 --> 00:14:04,438
SO WAIT. YOU JOINED THE P.T.A.
SO THAT YOU COULD
361
00:14:04,511 --> 00:14:06,511
PUT A SELF-RIGHTEOUS MOM
IN HER PLACE,
362
00:14:06,579 --> 00:14:10,849
AND NOW YOU ARE THE HEAD
OF THE SELF-RIGHTEOUS MOMS?
(cell phone ringing)
363
00:14:10,918 --> 00:14:12,588
WHAT'S UP, RHONDA?
364
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:15,762
O.M.G. SHE LOOKS 50!
365
00:14:15,822 --> 00:14:16,992
(laughs)
366
00:14:17,057 --> 00:14:19,227
NO, NO, NO, NO.
WE HAVE GARAGE-A-PALOOZA.
367
00:14:19,292 --> 00:14:21,562
GARAGE-A-PALOOZA?
(whispers) IT'S A GARAGE SALE.
368
00:14:21,628 --> 00:14:23,158
(whispers) YOU SOUND CRAZY.
369
00:14:23,230 --> 00:14:25,570
OKAY, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU BRING
A NICE TOP TO CHANGE INTO?
370
00:14:25,632 --> 00:14:27,532
UH, HOW ABOUT THE PINK ONE?
371
00:14:27,600 --> 00:14:30,270
GEORGE WASN'T THE ONLY ONE
WHO WAS CHANGING.
372
00:14:30,337 --> 00:14:33,137
I HARDLY RECOGNIZED MALIK
ANYMORE,
373
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:35,436
AND IT WASN'T JUST BECAUSE
OF "THE GODFATHER" HAT.
374
00:14:35,508 --> 00:14:37,278
ARE YOU COMING
TO THE PEP RALLY, MALIK?
375
00:14:37,344 --> 00:14:38,984
KENZIE'S GONNA DO
A BACK HANDSPRING.
376
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:40,446
WOULDN'T MISS IT
FOR THE WORLD!
377
00:14:40,513 --> 00:14:41,923
I FELT RESPONSIBLE.
378
00:14:41,982 --> 00:14:43,922
I HAD TOTALLY UPSET
THE ECOSYSTEM.
379
00:14:43,984 --> 00:14:47,294
(girls) HI, TESSA.
380
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:50,664
HI, TESSA. I MADE YOU
A RICE KRISPIE TREAT.
381
00:14:50,723 --> 00:14:53,833
CAN YOU HOLD ON TO THAT?
I'M ABOUT TO GO PEE.
382
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:57,363
AMBERLY SAVED YOU
THE GOOD STALL.
383
00:14:57,430 --> 00:14:59,430
(spritzes)
384
00:14:59,499 --> 00:15:01,699
I LONGED FOR THE DAYS
WHEN I COULD HIDE OUT
385
00:15:01,768 --> 00:15:05,438
IN THE HANDICAPPED STALL
UNNOTICED.
(coughs)
386
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:06,935
IS THIS A BAD TIME?
387
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:10,337
I JUST GOT A TIP ON A STORY
FROM DALIA, AND IT'S BA-NAY-NAY.
388
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,080
(envelope rustles)
389
00:15:13,246 --> 00:15:16,616
LISA SHAY--
SHE'S A THUMB-SUCKER.
390
00:15:18,751 --> 00:15:19,921
DALIA SAYS SHE GOES
TO NONFICTION
391
00:15:19,987 --> 00:15:21,347
DURING STUDY HALL TO DO IT.
392
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:24,421
OH, MY GOD! WHAT WAS DALIA
DOING IN NONFICTION?
393
00:15:24,491 --> 00:15:27,231
WHO CARES? FRONT PAGE
OF "THE CHATTERER," BITCHES!
394
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:28,964
MALIK,
WE CAN'T RUN THIS STORY.
395
00:15:29,029 --> 00:15:30,329
IT'S MESSED UP.
396
00:15:30,397 --> 00:15:31,657
YEAH, WELL, EVERYTHING
WE PUBLISH IS MESSED UP,
397
00:15:31,731 --> 00:15:33,671
AND THAT WAS YOUR IDEA,
398
00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:36,343
AND NOW THE PAPER'S
A HUGE HIT. BA-NAY-NAY.
WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THAT?
399
00:15:36,403 --> 00:15:38,643
IT'S MY NEW CATCHPHRASE.
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
I HATE IT.
400
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:42,505
WELL, I COULD TRY
BANIZZ-NAS... INSTEAD.
401
00:15:44,011 --> 00:15:46,111
STICK WITH BA-NAY-NAY.
402
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:51,882
OKAY, FIRST ORDER OF BUSINESS--
403
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,591
UH, RHONDA.
404
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:57,223
MY HUSBAND SAYS HE DOESN'T WANT
TO GO OUT BECAUSE HE'S TIRED,
405
00:15:57,290 --> 00:16:00,760
BUT THEN HE SPENDS THE WHOLE
NIGHT AWAKE WATCHING ESPN.
406
00:16:00,827 --> 00:16:03,197
OH, WHAT HE MEANS IS HE'S TIRED
OF DOING WHAT YOU WANT TO DO.
407
00:16:03,263 --> 00:16:04,763
AND IN THE PAST, HAVE YOU TRIED
408
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,631
ENGAGING IN HOBBIES
THAT HE ENJOYS?
409
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:10,239
MM-HMM. I'VE TRIED, BUT I DON'T
LIKE INTERNET PORNOGRAPHY.
410
00:16:10,303 --> 00:16:13,373
GEORGE, TEACHER APPRECIATION DAY
IS ON MONDAY,
411
00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,240
AND WE STILL HAVEN'T DECIDED
412
00:16:15,308 --> 00:16:18,108
ON HOW WE PLAN TO SHOW
OUR GRATITUDE TO THE FACULTY.
413
00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:20,608
RIGHT. I THINK WE SHOULD DO IT
BY SAYING "THANK YOU."
414
00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,020
WITH?
OUR MOUTHS.
415
00:16:22,082 --> 00:16:23,552
AND ALSO?
HAND GESTURES?
416
00:16:23,616 --> 00:16:25,116
(whispers)
INDIVIDUAL ROSE BOUQUETS.
417
00:16:25,185 --> 00:16:26,915
YES, OF COURSE,
INDIVIDUAL ROSE BOUQUETS.
418
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:28,386
UM, NOW IN THE PAST,
419
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:30,815
SHEILA HAS HARVESTED THE ROSE
BOUQUETS FROM HER GARDEN.
420
00:16:30,890 --> 00:16:32,090
PERFECT.
421
00:16:32,159 --> 00:16:34,489
AH. SHEILA'S NO LONGER
WITH US.
422
00:16:34,561 --> 00:16:37,601
RIGHT. OKAY. SO WHO WANTS
TO DO THE ROSE BOUQUETS?
423
00:16:37,664 --> 00:16:39,504
(birds chirping)
424
00:16:39,566 --> 00:16:41,396
NOBODY? OKAY, FINE.
I'LL DO IT.
425
00:16:41,468 --> 00:16:43,268
UM, BUT YOU'RE DOING
THE REFRESHMENTS.
426
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:46,206
WELL, I'LL DO THE REFRESHMENTS
AND THE ROSE BOUQUETS.
427
00:16:46,273 --> 00:16:48,313
BUT YOU STILL NEED
TO FINISH MY SKYLIGHT.
428
00:16:48,375 --> 00:16:50,375
GEORGE WAS QUICKLY LEARNING
THAT LIFE WITH THE MOTHERS
429
00:16:50,443 --> 00:16:53,113
COULD BE A REAL MOTHER.
430
00:16:55,382 --> 00:16:57,152
MALIK WAS DRUNK WITH POWER.
431
00:16:57,217 --> 00:17:00,217
IT WAS TIME FOR HIM
TO SOBER UP.
432
00:17:03,690 --> 00:17:05,930
MEDIA MOGUL...
433
00:17:05,992 --> 00:17:08,802
OR "MEDIUM"?
434
00:17:08,861 --> 00:17:09,961
WHAT?
435
00:17:10,029 --> 00:17:12,099
OH, JUST SOMETHING
I'M WORKING ON.
436
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,968
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
I THOUGHT WE WERE FRIENDS.
437
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,467
I THOUGHT WE WERE, TOO,
438
00:17:19,539 --> 00:17:21,209
BUT I ALSO THOUGHT WE WERE
FRIENDS WITH LISA SHAY.
439
00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,614
WHY DID YOU THINK WE WERE
FRIENDS WITH LISA SHAY?
440
00:17:23,676 --> 00:17:25,676
BECAUSE I LIVE
ACROSS THE STREET FROM HER.
441
00:17:25,745 --> 00:17:27,445
GUESS WHAT. I DON'T.
442
00:17:27,514 --> 00:17:29,424
LOOK WHAT'S HAPPENED TO YOU.
443
00:17:29,482 --> 00:17:31,052
YOU USED TO HAVE
JOURNALISTIC INTEGRITY.
444
00:17:31,118 --> 00:17:35,718
I MEAN, YOU WERE THE REPORTER
WHO BROKE "NO MORE FISH TACOS,"
445
00:17:35,788 --> 00:17:37,658
AND NOW YOU'RE GOING TO RALLIES
WITH THE K.K.K.
446
00:17:37,724 --> 00:17:39,894
THE K.K.K.?
KENZIE, KAITLYN, AND KIMANTHA.
447
00:17:39,959 --> 00:17:42,599
THE OLD MALIK NEVER WOULD'VE
HUNG OUT WITH THOSE GIRLS.
448
00:17:42,662 --> 00:17:44,262
YEAH, THE OLD MALIK
NEVER WOULD'VE BEEN INVITED
449
00:17:44,331 --> 00:17:46,301
TO HANG OUT WITH THOSE GIRLS.
I LIKE THE NEW MALIK.
450
00:17:46,366 --> 00:17:49,966
HE'S BALLIN'.
WELL, I LIKE THE OLD MALIK
BECAUSE HE WASN'T BALLIN'.
451
00:17:50,036 --> 00:17:52,506
HE WAS JUST A NICE GUY...
I THINK.
452
00:17:52,572 --> 00:17:56,812
HONESTLY, I HAVEN'T SPENT THAT
MUCH TIME WITH THE OLD MALIK.
453
00:17:56,876 --> 00:17:58,846
BUT I WANTED TO.
454
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:00,681
REALLY? YOU WANTED TO?
455
00:18:00,747 --> 00:18:01,647
(knock on door)
456
00:18:01,714 --> 00:18:04,084
I FINISHED
LAST WEEK'S WORD JUMBLE.
457
00:18:04,151 --> 00:18:07,451
IT SAYS I GET A FREE MILK.
458
00:18:11,891 --> 00:18:13,331
THANKS.
459
00:18:13,393 --> 00:18:14,933
HEY, JUST A HEADS-UP,
460
00:18:14,994 --> 00:18:17,364
SOME PEOPLE REALLY CARE ABOUT
"THE CHATSWIN CHRONICLE,"
461
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:19,530
AND THEY STARTED A PETITION
TO GET IT BACK.
462
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:22,169
I ONLY HAVE TWO SIGNATURES
SO FAR,
463
00:18:22,235 --> 00:18:24,635
AND... THEY'RE BOTH MINE.
464
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,106
WE'RE EXPECTING A FEW MORE.
465
00:18:29,176 --> 00:18:32,276
LISA'S PETITION GOT
TWO MORE SIGNATURES THAT DAY.
466
00:18:32,345 --> 00:18:35,675
IT TURNED OUT THOSE WERE
THE ONLY TWO SHE NEEDED,
467
00:18:35,748 --> 00:18:38,248
AND WITH "THE CHATSWIN
CHRONICLE"RESTORED,
468
00:18:38,318 --> 00:18:41,118
IT WAS TIME TO FOCUS MY EFFORTS
ON DAD.
469
00:18:41,188 --> 00:18:42,558
WE'RE OUT OF JUICE,
470
00:18:42,622 --> 00:18:45,122
AND WE'VE BEEN OUT OF JUICE
FOR, LIKE, A WEEK.
471
00:18:45,192 --> 00:18:46,832
HE HAD STOPPED HUNTING
AND GATHERING.
472
00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,263
I'M SORRY, HONEY.
473
00:18:48,328 --> 00:18:51,158
THE P.T.A. THING--
IT'S CONSUMING ALL OF MY TIME.
474
00:18:51,231 --> 00:18:52,571
AND ALL OF OUR BREAD,
APPARENTLY,
475
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,372
BECAUSE WE ARE OUT
OF THAT, TOO.
476
00:18:54,434 --> 00:18:57,574
OH. US MOMS HAD THIS DUCK
CHARITY THING DOWN AT THE POND.
477
00:18:57,637 --> 00:18:59,837
THE BABY MALLARDS
ARE BEYOND CUTE.
478
00:18:59,906 --> 00:19:03,436
WE ARE SPIRALING OUT OF CONTROL
HERE, GEORGE.
479
00:19:03,510 --> 00:19:04,840
YOU'RE TALKING
ABOUT BABY DUCKS
480
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,811
AND SPENDING ALL YOUR TIME
WITH MIDDLE-AGED WOMEN.
481
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,979
WHAT?
482
00:19:09,048 --> 00:19:11,918
DON'T YOU THINK IT'S TIME
YOU HUNG UP THOSE MOM JEANS
483
00:19:11,984 --> 00:19:14,354
AND WENT BACK TO BEING A DAD?
484
00:19:14,421 --> 00:19:16,291
THESE AREN'T MOM JEANS.
I GOT THEM AT THE GARAGE SALE.
485
00:19:16,356 --> 00:19:18,356
YEAH, BUT WHOSE GARAGE SALE,
GEORGE?
486
00:19:18,425 --> 00:19:19,955
WHOSE GARAGE SALE?
487
00:19:20,026 --> 00:19:23,396
RHONDA'S. I GOT THEM
AT RHONDA'S GARAGE...
488
00:19:24,631 --> 00:19:27,071
I'M WEARING RHONDA'S JEANS.
489
00:19:27,133 --> 00:19:28,743
(T-Pain's "Apple Bottom Jeans"
playing)
490
00:19:28,801 --> 00:19:31,241
* SHAWTY HAD
THEM APPLE BOTTOM JEANS *
* JEANS *
491
00:19:31,304 --> 00:19:33,674
* BOOTS WITH THE FUR *
* WITH THE FUR *
492
00:19:33,740 --> 00:19:37,010
* THE WHOLE CLUB WAS LOOKING
AT HER *
(knock on door)
493
00:19:37,076 --> 00:19:39,946
* LOW, LOW, LOW, LOW, LOW *
HERE'S YOUR GAVEL BACK.
494
00:19:40,012 --> 00:19:41,382
I BEG YOUR PARDON.
495
00:19:41,448 --> 00:19:43,248
I'M SORRY, SHEILA.
YOU WERE RIGHT.
496
00:19:43,316 --> 00:19:46,086
THE P.T.A. IS NOT FOR ME,
SO GO ON, PLEASE.
497
00:19:46,152 --> 00:19:48,152
I'M NOT SURE I WANT IT,
GEORGE.
498
00:19:48,221 --> 00:19:51,121
I HAVE RATHER BEEN ENJOYING
MY FREE TIME.
499
00:19:51,190 --> 00:19:52,530
I'VE BEEN WORKING
ON MY SUNTAN.
500
00:19:52,592 --> 00:19:54,332
I HAVE READ
"THE LOVELY BONES."
501
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:58,604
WHY, JUST YESTERDAY,
I TRIED BLACK CHERRY SODA.
502
00:19:58,665 --> 00:20:00,365
OH, WELL, THAT IS
A DELICIOUS FLAVOR OF SODA,
503
00:20:00,433 --> 00:20:02,903
BUT SERIOUSLY, SHEILA,
504
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:05,269
I CAN'T GIVE THESE WOMEN
WHAT THEY NEED.
505
00:20:05,338 --> 00:20:07,508
YOU HAVE TO COME BACK.
506
00:20:07,574 --> 00:20:10,714
I DON'T HAVE IT IN ME.
NOT ANYMORE.
507
00:20:10,777 --> 00:20:12,177
FINE.
508
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,975
WELL, I HOPE
AT THE VERY LEAST,
509
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,776
YOU'LL ATTEND OUR P.T.A. PICNIC
AT REDMOND FIELD.
510
00:20:16,849 --> 00:20:19,389
REDMOND FIELD? THAT'S RIGHT
NEXT TO THE PETROL STATION.
511
00:20:19,452 --> 00:20:20,952
THINK OF THE FUMES!
512
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,860
SEE, THAT'S JUST THE THING.
513
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:26,132
SHEILA, I-I-I-I DIDN'T THINK
OF THE FUMES.
514
00:20:26,192 --> 00:20:27,562
(scoffs)
YOU DID.
515
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:30,797
YOU ALWAYS THINK
OF THE FUMES.
516
00:20:34,334 --> 00:20:37,904
VISIT ADJOURNED.
517
00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:42,110
OH, AND, GEORGE, YOU WEAR
THE HELL OUT OF THOSE JEANS.
518
00:20:42,174 --> 00:20:45,244
(chuckles)
519
00:20:47,880 --> 00:20:50,380
ALL RIGHT, I'M LEAVING
FOR WORK IN FIVE.
520
00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,390
YOU WANT ME TO PACK YOU
A LUNCH TODAY,
521
00:20:52,452 --> 00:20:53,722
OR ARE YOU GONNA BUY
SOMETHING AT SCHOOL?
522
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,886
OH, IT SAYS HERE THE SPECIAL
IS BEEF STROGANOFF.
523
00:20:55,955 --> 00:20:57,315
I KNOW.
524
00:20:57,390 --> 00:21:00,530
I HELPED BREAK THAT STORY.
525
00:21:00,593 --> 00:21:05,673
(laughs) WOW. PRINCETON'S
GONNA BE REALLY IMPRESSED.
526
00:21:05,732 --> 00:21:07,572
MM.
527
00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:09,574
I'M NOT GOING TO COLLEGE.
528
00:21:11,838 --> 00:21:13,108
(chuckles)
529
00:21:13,172 --> 00:21:15,012
YEAH, YOU ARE.
530
00:21:15,074 --> 00:21:17,314
(laughs)
531
00:21:17,377 --> 00:21:20,907
NO, SERIOUSLY.
I-I DECIDED I'M NOT GOING.
37081
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof