Original subtitles

- Hi! I'm Patrick Star!

And I live with my parents!

Ow!

This is my dad.

[zany music]

This is my mom. [laughs]

This is my sister. She's shy.

This is my grandpa.

This is my room!

And this...

♪ ♪

This is my show!

♪ ♪

[upbeat music]

- [humming]

Ooh, that reminds me.

It's time to clean Tinkle.

- [humming]

- Ooh, ooh, sorry, Mom.

I gotta tinkle in Tinkle.

- [growling]

- Why are you looking at me like that, boy?

Down, boy! Down!

Bad toilet!

[gasping]

Well, guess I'll just have to save it

for the next gas station we visit.

- Hmm.

Tinkle has been acting a little weird lately.

He's been eating more toilet paper than usual.

Oh, poor baby.

He just needs his mommy.

Tinkle!

[gasps] He's gone!

Tinkle! - Tinkle!

- Here, boy!

I've got a new plunge-y for you.

- Ew!

- Oh, no.

He's leaking!

- [growling]

- Sounds like him.

Tinkle?

[blubbering]

Call Dr. Plumber.

- I'm on it.

Boop, boop, boop, boop, boop.

Hello?

Plumber's office?

- Uh, sweetheart, that's a banana.

- I got your call.

Oh, hey, we have the same cell phone carrier.

[both munching]

All right, let's take a look-see here.

Back in a jiffy.

No, no, no, no!

[yells] Whoa, whoa, whoa!

- Eee!

- Welp, I figured out the issue.

- And?

- See for yourself.

- Tinkle?

- Your toilet was pregnant.

- Tinkle's a girl?

- Uh, no, Tinkle's a toilet.

- Aw, a toilet!

I am so proud of you and your 8,000 toilet babies!

- Actually, I count...

1, 2, 3, 4...

10! - [barks]

- [laughs] And one!

11 little basins of joy.

- Careful. They're teething.

- [laughs]

- Oh, it'll be so nice to have the pitter-patter of porcelain

paws around the house.

- Yay! Potty puppies!

- [humming]

[gasps]

[both growling]

- [gasps]

[grunting]

Ugh!

[toilets yapping]

- Oh! Augh! Ugh!

- [whistling]

[toilets yapping]

- Ehh! Ugh.

[toilet flushes]

[blubbering]

- Ahh!

Huh?

[upbeat orchestral music]

[panting]

[blubbering]

[light music]

- [whistles]

[toilets barking]

[toilets barking]

- [snoring]

- [groans] These toilets are exhausting.

- Cuckoo, cuckoo!

- [chomps]

- Huh?

Patrick, it's time to do your show!

- Ahh!

[grunts]

Hello!

I'd like to introduce my very special guest,

an actual mummy!

- [groans]

[audience screams]

- So why do mummies get such a bad rap?

[toilets barking]

No! Stop! Whoa!

[groans] Cut! Cut!

[yells]

[thunder booming]

- My new creation will solve all our plumbing problems.

Fatgor, pull the lever!

- [whimpers]

[machine powers up]

Uh, I think we're gonna need an electricity plumber.

- [groans]

Do I have to do everything myself?

[thudding]

[toilets barking]

- [whimpering]

But I already went to the bathroom this month.

[whimpering]

- This is a laboratory, not a lavatory.

Gah!

[cackles]

Plunge, my plunger.

Plunge them all!

- [growls]

[toilets yapping]

- Yay!

- [growling]

- It's plunging my hump!

[all groaning]

[toilets barking]

- The toilets are running again.

[loud explosion]

- Oh! What's all the ruckus?

I'm trying to rest my wrinkles.

[gasps] Toilet puppies?

[toilets barking]

You should all be ashamed.

This ain't no way to raise an animal.

Toilets, puppies, toilet puppies...

you gotta show 'em who's boss.

Wah!

- [yaps]

[toilet flushes]

- [laughs]

- [whimpering]

- Ha! Time for potty training.

[toilets barking]

- [whistles]

Don't make me snake ya!

[grunts]

Yah!

- Ahh... - [chomps]

- Huh?

- [barks]

- Do not eat that donut!

[grunting]

- [whimpers]

- Yay!

[whistles]

[toilets yapping]

[munching]

[all munching]

- Aw, good puppies.

Who wants to go for a walk?

[all barking]

- Is that all of 'em?

- Hmm.

Uh, let's see.

1, 2, 3, 7...

yep, all 11.

[toilets barking]

- Hey, Patrick.

Didn't you say there were 11 puppies?

- Uh-huh.

- Well, I only see eight.

- I don't know.

Math is hard.

- Look, there's only three puppies now.

- Oh, where'd the other 12 go?

- I don't know.

And let's never take our eyes off...

[gasps] The puppies!

They've been toilet-napped!

What do we do?

- The one thing we can do.

Both: Go get Mom!

- I tell you, Tinkle, it sure is swell having

another mom around the house.

Ahh.

- Mom! Mom!

- Someone stole Tinkle's babies!

- [growls, barks]

- Here, Tinkle. Find the scent.

- [sniffing]

[barking]

- Everyone, follow Tinkle!

[dramatic music]

- [sniffing]

[growls]

[tires squealing]

- Tinkle's leading us to that warehouse.

- [barking]

[growls]

- Whoa. What is this place?

Fashion sketches?

A sewing machine?

Plumbing manuals?

- What kind of monster lives here?

- [cackling] A captive audience

to be captivated by my design!

[together] GrandPat?

[toilets whimpering]

[together] The puppies?

- [whimpers]

- GrandPat, what are you doing?

- And who are you wearing?

- Oh, you like it, eh?

I used to be part of high society.

I was the designer for haute "cou-toilet"

fashion back in the day.

- Your designs are so lewd, so lavatorial.

There's such a comfort station.

- Made from only the finest plumbing fixtures,

my designs were on the runways of every flush-a-ratty event

until I fell out of fashion.

Then when I saw Tinkles' puppies,

I knew they were the perfect raw materials for

my commode couture comeback!

- You're turning Tinkles' puppies into clothing?

- No!

I'm turning them into high latrine fashion!

Some disassembly required.

[cackles]

- [growls]

- Hee-hee-hee. Gah!

[toilets yapping]

- [whimpering]

Back, you outhouse mongols!

Ahh!

No biting!

Oh, my ducky!

I trained you better than this!

[yelling]

No, not the swirly!

Ahh!

Ahh!

- GrandPat, we are very disappointed

in how old and naked you are.

Come on, poopies.

[chuckles] "Poopies."

Heh-heh, poop.

- [groans]

- Ladies and gentlemen, presenting the newest line

of toilet fashion from GrandPat Star.

[crowd gasps]

- Oh, my.

[chuckles]

- Ooh!

A toilet fashion line that deserves the flush, eh?

- My brand!

[yells]

- [laughs]

- It's so nice to be back together

as one big happy family.

- [gasps] - Hey!

What happened to our TV?

[doorbell rings] Huh?

[all barking]

- The boob tube had babies!

[camera shutter clicks]

[all barking]

[duck squeaks]

- Ahh. [grunts]

Nothing more relaxing than making

a big pot of seasoned savory soupestroni.

All: Soupestroni!

Soupestroni! Soupestroni!

- Aye, aye, family!

[laughs]

[slurping, chomping]

Hmm.

It's perfect...

[all gasp]

- ly ready to simmer for about 11 more minutes.

[together] Aw. Boo.

- Hey, you can't rush art.

- [chomps, gulps]

[munching]

Yeah, he's right.

It needs more time.

- Don't look so glum, chums.

We can pass the time at the park!

- Oh, the park?

[groans]

[birds chirping]

[thunder booming]

- Hey, Dad, are you sure that sign is right?

- Sign? [laughs]

Oh, sweetie, you know I can't read and drive.

- Yeah, that would be dangerous.

- Safety first.

- [laughs] Here's the park.

- Ooh, there's a spot.

- [chomps]

[tires squealing]

[crashes]

- Whoopsie-doodle.

I bumped the curb.

Ha! Let me just even out a little.

[loud thud]

Ooh, one more time. [loud thud]

Nope.

[loud thud]

- That's enough!

[hacking]

[all groaning]

- Ooh, I know.

Let's have a picnic!

Yeah!

Just a light pre-soup snack.

- Have fun, dear.

Both: Mwah!

- I wanna try that yoga in the park.

[hums]

- So, big brother, what do you wanna play?

- Ooh, ooh, hide and hide!

- Uh, how about hide and seek instead?

- Never heard of it.

Is it new?

- Eh, you learn by playing.

Ready, set, go!

- [blubbering]

- Go!

1, 2, 3...

- [whistles] You want the stick, boy?

- [panting]

- Go get it.

Hey, I recognize that stick.

I think he owes me money.

- [growls]

- Tinkie, you rascal.

Get back here!

- You got your cheese.

You got your cheese. You got your cheese.

Whoops.

[laughs] I need more cheese.

[grunting]

- Whew, I'm dead tired.

I gotta rest.

Ooh.

[spooky music]

Eternal rest mortuary?

♪ ♪

That's a great name for a spa.

[grunts]

Last nap I took outside the house

didn't work out so well.

[snoring]

Ahh!

Ah, people are still talking about it.

[snoring]

- [whistles]

Oh, what a pleasant surprise.

With this amount of skin slippage,

this corpse must be at least two weeks' old.

Time to start the embalming fluid.

This'll be a tough job, but I will make you beautiful.

- And bread.

[blubbering]

[chomping]

Ahh, that was the best pre-soup snack I've ever had.

I just wish I had somewhere comfier to digest it.

Ooh, I can build something comfy out

of these fun blocks for kids.

Speaking of kids, I wonder what my kids, Patrick and Squidina,

are up to?

- [laughs] Golly gee, where, oh,

where can Patrick be hiding?

- [giggles]

- Hmm.

[thunder booming]

- [giggles]

- Maybe...

[thunder booming]

Maybe...

[thunder booming]

Hmm.

- [giggles]

- Found you!

- What?

How?

Oh, you're good.

[thunder booming]

Ooh, ooh, now it's my turn to hide!

- Hey!

You're the seeker!

You count while I hide.

- Oh.

I get it now.

1, 2, C, uh, banana.

- 1, 2, 3...

- Hey!

You guys are messing up my counting.

- Hey, you.

- [whimpers]

- You skipped a number.

- We'll help you count.

We're real good at counting.

- OK.

- One platinum watch, two silver cufflinks,

three gold teeth...

- Hmm, that yoga class has got to be around here somewhere.

Aha!

Here I go.

Ugh! [birds cawing]

Hi!

Sorry I'm late.

I had a doozy of a time finding you guys.

[gasps] Such perfect form.

Why, it's like you're made of stone.

[laughs]

Oh, how embarrassing.

I didn't realize you're doing silent yoga.

Oh.

[whispers] I mean, you're doing silent yoga.

Well, uh, I'll just follow your lead.

[grunts]

[spooky music]

- Ahh!

- Uh-oh.

I better check on my saggy, baggy, corpse-y customer.

- [gulping]

Blah!

Wow, that energy drink made me feel 75 again.

I'm so full, I'm stiff.

Even my varicose veins look plump and youthful.

I feel like a new star.

Whoa!

- I hate it when the dead can't sit still.

Let's get you into your burial suit.

- A new suit for the new me.

I love this place.

- [sobbing]

- I can't believe this park doesn't have

a playground for the children.

- Excuse me, Dad. I need to hide.

- [laughs] Build it and they will come.

- Whoa!

Whoa!

[blubbering] Ahh!

Ugh! Ugh!

[giggles]

Patrick will never find me here.

- We are gathered here to celebrate...

- Me!

Finding Squidina!

[laughter]

[all gasp]

- Tag, you're it!

Tag, you're it!

- Hold it!

You two shouldn't be fighting

without wearing these cool mallet mittens I made you.

- Oh, boy!

[groaning]

- Tag, you're it, son.

[laughter]

- I can't look.

- Ah, I can't stop looking.

All: Ahh! It's a zombie!

- Where? Turn me so I can see him.

- [yells]

[grunts]

[statues rumbling]

- Ooh.

I don't think I know that pose.

- [screams]

[screams]

- [belches]

- Ahh!

- Ahh!

- [chomping]

- Can you keep it down?

I was promised eternal slumber.

- Oh, I'm gonna give them a piece of my mind.

[all grumbling]

[all moaning]

- Ahh! - Tag, I'm it!

- Ahh! - Tag, I'm it!

[blubbering]

- [growling]

- You wouldn't believe the time I had.

And I learned a great new yoga pose.

- [groans]

- Um, honey?

- They call this one the silly goose.

- [chomping]

- Ahh!

- Wait a minute.

This isn't a park.

It's a cemetery full of zombies!

[all screaming]

- Run for your lives!

Zombie!

- Hey, it's my old gang!

Long time no see.

- [growling]

- Lloyd, my old driver.

How about once around the park for old times' sake?

- Nobody told me we were playing hide and hide again!

[all growling]

[bell dinging]

[light breezy music]

[all yelling]

Ugh!

- [snarling]

[all whimpering]

- [snarling]

[triangle clanging]

- Oh, would you look at that.

Soup's done.

Look at you.

You're all just skin and bones.

Soup's on at our place.

[all cheering]

[zombies groaning]

- [scatting]

Pinch of salt. And it's done.

Here you go.

- [groans]

- [slurp] Mmm, tasty.

- Yeah, this soup is delicious.

- [groans]

- More formaldehyde?

- Uh-huh.

- [slurping]

[thunder booming]

[all whimpering]

- And this coffin is just right.

[all screaming]

- [growls]

- Papa bear?

[yelling]

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