All language subtitles for Little Siberia (2025) (Awafim.tv)

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["Tytön huivi" by Leo Kauppi playing]

[in Finnish] ♪ He's hurrying to his girl ♪

♪ The lively boy ♪

♪ With a twinkle in their eyes
They shake hands ♪

♪ The summer night is so beautiful ♪

[man in English] Somewhere, far, far away,
there was an explosion.

And somehow, it reached me.

[fantastical music playing]

13 BILLION YEARS EARLIER

6 BILLION YEARS EARLIER

800 MILLION YEARS EARLIER

40 MILLION YEARS EARLIER

7 MILLION YEARS EARLIER

42 YEARS EARLIER

[cracking]

178 DAYS EARLIER

97 DAYS EARLIER

68 DAYS EARLIER

54 DAYS EARLIER

37 DAYS EARLIER
25 DAYS EARLIER

[music intensifies]

14 DAYS EARLIER

[music fades]

[vehicle approaching]

[classical Finnish continues on radio]

[engine roaring]

-[man] I'm so close.
-[woman moans]

-Am I too heavy?
-Got my hair stuck.

I'm sorry. A quick pause?

-My arm's going numb.
-Okay.

[man singing in Finnish]

[woman] I need something hard
to put underneath.

You mean like a book?

[woman] No, something to prop my legs up.

[man] Hold on, hold on.

How 'bout this? Is it hard enough?

[woman giggles]

[fantastical music continues]

[Finnish song continues on radio]

[seatbelt alarm beeping]

[music builds]

[meteorite booms]

[music steadies]

[seatbelt alarm beeping]

[fire crackles]

[woman] What a miraculous moment.

What if it's the big guy
sending a message?

[woman] Come to bed, my love.

[man] Babies, babies, babies.

Some consider them small miracles.

The world population will reach
11.9 billion by the year 2100.

11.9 billion.

Billions of babies.

Can you even imagine such overpopulation?

[sighs] Not so long ago,
our greatest fear was locusts.

Now it'll be swarms of infants.

Do you think God understands numbers?

Uh… can you repeat those numbers?

The world's population
will reach 11.9 billion.

It's a lot of zeros.

And a fair amount of diapers.

And I'm not even talking about
other problems.

Global warming,
melting ice caps, pandemics.

We're in big trouble.

Does God have a plan?
Are we getting wiped out?

The Lord does work in mysterious ways,
does he not, Matias?

Perhaps we'll start with that idea
in our next session.

Our time's up.

Another half hour flown by
so quickly, as usual.

-Thank you, Pastor Joel.
-Hmm.

-Our talks are very helpful.
-Hmm.

-They renew my optimism.
-Matias!

-You're staying for coffee, aren't you?
-I think I will, Pirkko.

I can never turn down your coffee.

Hmm.

We didn't have time to talk about
the meteorite from the sky.

Meteorites do come from there, yes.

Yes. From the heavens.

In a way.

The house of the Lord.

Or outside the Earth's atmosphere.

Sure.

Either way,
they're saying it's worth a fortune.

Uh… I also have a few of those
raisin buns you like so much.

-Raisins. Excellent.
-They are good.

That rock is all anyone in town
can talk about.

It could've been inhabited, you know.

An entire planet that just exploded.

One second, they're hiding Easter eggs
in the bushes

while the kids are jumping
on the trampoline, and then… boom.

-[Pirkko] Ah.
-Their world is a giant ball of flames.

[sighs]

Why don't we save that for next time
and you go enjoy your coffee and raisins

in a lighter mood.

Matias.

-I've put a twist on my recipe.
-Is that so?

I serve them with homemade
whipped cream on top.

-And some strawberry jam on the side.
-That sounds lovely.

We can talk about Ebola Phase 2.

[Pirkko] Oh! Phase 2, sounds fascinating.

[fantastical music resumes]

LITTLE SIBERIA

[indistinct town chatter]

[tapping on hood]

[man 1] Pastor.

-Hello.
-[chuckles] A cold one, isn't it?

-Aren't they all?
-So, uh…

Are you getting used to
the temperatures here? [chuckles]

I do, um, have a question.

What the hell?

Guys? Hey.

What have you got there?

I'm thinking it's a moose.

Or a red-nosed reindeer.

Räystäinen's got
a wicked sense of humor, see?

Hunting season's been over
for a month, you know?

Jumped in front of us.

It was depressed.
Couldn't take the winter cold.

-[woman] Inside already! Coffee and buns.
-[Räystäinen laughs]

I didn't make them,
so you can eat as many as you want.

-They're meteorite buns.
-[Räystäinen] Suicidal moose.

[man 2] Did she say meteorite buns?

[man 1] So, what I was saying before.

The meteorite is getting picked up
and shipped to London for evaluation

in five days.

-Buns and coffee…
-This… Yes. Hot and fresh. There's plenty.

It's a big deal. And I think,
unfortunately, someone has been trying

to sneak in to steal it.

The museum's only staffed
at night by the old guard.

He can barely stay awake during the day.

I need a competent night watchman.

-A trained soldier.
-Hmm…

Please. We need you.

-Just for five days.
-I'm sorry, I can't.

-Joel.
-That old rock…

It is something
that could change the village's future.

Which means… the future of my business.

People will come from all over the world.

-America, China, India, Japan, Africa…
-We must be strong.

Hey. The Lord is testing us.

The emerging economies,
that's where we should focus our efforts.

-[woman] Hello, everyone.
-Oh, hey, hey.

-Hi, guys.
-[man] Because that means money.

That's why I invited you all here.

-Entrepreneurs are the soul of our town.
-Hi, honey.

The election's over. Get to the point!

[man 1] The point is,
that rock is our future.

Have you been a naughty boy?

[man 1] I'd like to say thanks
to the Veterans Association

for keeping watch at night--

Why can't we just sell the rock
and split the money?

What I would like for us
to do today is to brainstorm--

-Shut up, Jukkis.
-[woman] Don't be rude, Rolle.

[man 3] It belongs to me.

It crashed through the roof of my car.

It's my ore deposit
'cause you were driving on my land!

It's a celestial body…

What we would like is for the
community to get involved.

So even if you all have your opinions,
what we wanna focus on at this meeting

is to tell you about the new
Golden Moon drawing contest.

The winning drawing of the meteorite

and what it means
will be used to design a monument…

If we leave right now,
do you think we still get the buns?

I think we should hear him out.

The Lord works in mysterious ways.

Hold the mic. I wanna show our audience…

-Not the Japanese culture book?
-Yeah, yeah.

They're gonna love it.

To make sure that we're
all ready for our overseas visitors,

let's all learn how to bow in greeting
to our future Japanese friends.

Watch.

Hai!

[woman] Can you pull over?

I want my hot chocolate.

This is a good place.

You mean Hurmevaara?

Sort of. Hurmevaara. Planet Earth.

You mean the place that you called,
if I remember correctly,

"A godforsaken hicksville
in a pig's rectum?"

-It wasn't meant as an insult.
-Ah.

It was the complimentary version
of a pig's ass.

-You're the ass.
-[scoffs]

[Joel chuckles]

Watch this. This is Planet Earth.

And this is Hurmevaara.

Venus is around there.
And this is Mars and Jupiter.

There's an asteroid cloud in between.

Then the Andromeda galaxy
and a bunch of infinity.

And back here

is our destiny.

Why's that?

Because… I'm pregnant.

-You're sure?
-We did it! [laughs]

-We did it?
-We actually did! [laughs]

Oh Lord.

[woman giggles]

[fantastical music playing]

PRESCHOOL

[music fades]

I'll see you after class, my love?

-Of course. At four, right?
-You're picking me up? Yes. Four.

-Mm.
-See you.

-Bye.
-Bye.

[Joel] I served as
a peacekeeper some years ago.

And…

I was wounded… by a mine.

Sometimes I…

have insomnia, nightmares, or pain.

-Not good.
-Mm-hmm.

It was a pretty damaging event.

Brutal.

[exhales nervously]

Including there.

-Not good.
-Yes.

And even though everything still works,

I was told I couldn't have kids.

Not good.

But I never…

-Mentioned that side of it to your wife?
-[sighs]

That's not good. I feel for you.

So I… I would like a second opinion.

Good idea. Let's get started on that.

[exhales sharply]

[doctor] Can you get a full erection?

Uh… yes.

-Sort of.
-Percentagewise, what are we talking?

Percentage? I think it's…

Hmm.

[sighs, clears throat]

This much?

-Not really.
-Hmm. How about this?

It's more…

Hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey. It works.

It… It's more like this.
Except I only see it from here.

It's like…

this.

Ju… Just like that.

-Hmm.
-Not good.

Is it the angle or something?
Because you know I can change it.

No.

I've just never met a man
with shrapnel in his balls before.

Fill this up.

["Do It Right" by Mega
and Kwini Rene playing]

[woman] Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom.

Whoa.

Walk it back and pose.

Touch your heart,
reach out and now shimmy,

shimmy, all the way down.

Mm. Ah!

[grunts]

Let me see.

-Pop out when you come up.
-Boom. [laughs]

-I really felt that one.
-That was a good one.

All right, keep going!

♪ Watch me do it
Watch me do it right… ♪

-I love the new choreography!
-I'm sorry, Pirkko.

-Joel is waiting for me.
-All right.

I just wanted to tell you everyone's
having a great time in your dance class.

-Okay!
-We've never had anything like this!

-We're so glad you moved here!
-Thank you!

-See you.
-[chuckles]

[Pirkko] She's a wonderful person.

Bye! [chuckles]

[giggles]

Why did Pirkko have our punch bowl?

We had a little get-together
when you were away at that seminar.

Ah.

It turned into quite the party, actually.

Especially when she took over
the dance floor.

The fundamentalist secretary I work with

who has to have everything
in the office just so?

That's the one.

I have a feeling you might be short
a few gallons of sacramental wine

since that night.

I'll make a note of it. [clears throat]

Who else was there that night? The guys?

Or was it one of those ladies' nights,
just the girls?

Were Räystis and his friends there?

Of course it wasn't a ladies' night.

We both know that if there's ever
anything going on in the village,

everyone's going to show--

I don't think dancing is
safe for our unborn child.

It's really good exercise
and it's my job in case you've forgotten

that I also happen to have a career.

Or whatever of it is left since I decided
to follow you to the frozen sticks.

Sorry. I meant…

I worry about you, that's all.

Okay.

There's something…

important…

that I've been meaning to tell you.

I…

What?

Jukkis… [clears throat]

…asked if I'd take overnight watch.

[sighs]

Which means
you already said yes, didn't you?

Four nights. Maybe you and Pirkko
the party animal can get together.

There are only so many '90s techno hits

I can take in one evening,
so I'll pass, thanks.

Oh, I was about to go home
and dust off my Doctor Albans CDs.

Yeah, no.

You know,
I just realized how cold it is out here.

[sighs]

And I shouldn't take any chances
slipping on ice with the baby and all.

So It's better if I drive.

You can get to the museum on foot.

Hmm.

The exercise will do you good, Honey.

[Jukkis] Brake gently like this.

Around here, you learn to ride these
before you can walk.

You need to glide.

Hey, there!

Tarvainen is a persistent guy.

He's been trying to get
a statue built at the intersection

paid for by the village
for about ten years now.

He calls me about it drunk
at least once a month.

A statue?

In honor of him and his former copilot.

Now he's dropped that obsession
and moved on to the meteorite.

Mayor, why is the government covering up
that the meteorite is an alien vessel?

Why don't we sell little pieces of it
to the villagers?

-[Jukkis] Perhaps. Nice to see you.
-Yeah.

See that? Now imagine
all the tourists in line next summer.

Flashlight.

When it's dark,
it's dark as all get-out in here.

We try to save on electricity.

This exhibition is my pride and joy, Joel.

Rifles and grenades.

And this cutie here.

Thank God for eBay.
I got these for next to nothing.

And the crown jewel. [laughs]

[Joel] I should probably borrow it
to take it to the church on Sunday.

Not a chance.

How ya doing, Hannes?

How's your watch going so far?

[Hannes, quietly]
I was just resting my eyes a little.

[Jukkis] You know
you shouldn't sleep on duty.

[fantastical music playing]

[woman] Pastor.

Isn't this meteorite a sign of something?

Like, a miracle?

[music fades]

Those do seem
to be going around these days.

"The beloved meteorite of Hurmevaara
is a rock fallen from space."

"It is estimated that its current
value is in the area of…

one million euros."

Did you want my attention?

Is it a message about something?

Is it?

Show me that you exist.

That this is from you.

I need more than an old rock.

[gentle music playing]

[icy tingling]

Do you know what it feels like to love?

We were visiting Bethlehem once
in our early days.

Krista disappeared into the crowd.

She was wearing
a long summer dress with no pockets

that she adored.

And she didn't have a purse,
so I had her wallet,

passport, phone, car keys, everything.

I was looking for her everywhere,

but there were too many people.

I remembered a café she'd noticed earlier.

And there she was.

Laughing her beautiful head off

with the man who owned it.

Krista looked at my worried face,
but still acted like nothing happened.

She just said,

"I always knew
you would find me, sweetheart."

[chuckles softly]

[sighs]

[icy tingling]

[door knocking]

[music fades]

[groans]

Wait, I'll… I'll fix it.

I didn't think it was working.

-Nothing ever works around here.
-I think it's fine.

Did you…
wanna discuss something right now?

Actually, Pastor, I do.

A spiritual matter?

Mm.

-The meteorite, I wanna have another look.
-You can't. You should go home now.

The museum opens again tomorrow.

-Oh.
-At nine o'clock.

-Hmm.
-Just a really quick look.

-Hey, hey! We're closed.
-Lemme see my rock.

-Hey! Listen, you need to go.
-[grunting]

-Ah!
-[Joel gunts]

Sorry. Sorry, old habits.

Go home, now. We'll talk tomorrow.

[Tarvainen sighs]

[gasps, grunts]

No traction. Fucking hell. [grunts]

Tarvainen, the champion!

-Hmm.
-[Taravainen] Ha!

Tarvainen the champion, indeed.

[snowmobile engine revs erratically]

[clattering]

[tense music playing]

What the hell?

[shattering]

-[grunts] Go! Let's go!
-[groans]

[music becomes energetic]

[music fades]

[officer 1] So, they took a grenade?

Yes. But I'm pretty sure
what they were after was the, uh…

meteorite over there.

It was dark in here
because the lights were off

and I surprised them, I think.

So, I'm… Huh…

Hmm.

A weapon like that would be very handy
for holding up a bank or something.

-Banks don't keep cash these days.
-[Jukkis] Thank God. It's still with us.

It's still with us.

[officer 2] Can't say so much
for the burglar.

-Yeah?
-Yeah.

We didn't even bother
asking for the dental records.

Of course not. Why would you?

I… If it helps,

I'm pretty sure there were three
or… or even four burglars

besides the one who blew up.

-Hmm.
-We only had one body in the car, right?

Uh-huh.

[sniffs]

One had a very distinct smell.

A… one got stuck in the broken window,
so he probably needed stitches.

Right now, our primary concern is

how the hell you got hold of
a live grenade for your museum, Jokinen.

Well… [laughs]

-It was cheap.
-What about this one? Is it live too?

I wouldn't think so.

They were supposed to be deactivated.

The seller assured us that's the case.

[icy tingling]

[fantastical music playing]

[Jukkis] See if there's any rust, or…

Just a lick of paint
and it's as good as new.

Will you have the baby
in a carrier while you teach?

I don't see why not.

-I might have to turn the music down.
-That'll be fun. [gasps]

[music ends]

Why's your face full of blood?

[breathes heavily]

I had a rough night trying to stop
a bank robber from blowing himself up.

What time is it?
I have my consultations to get to.

You have to cancel.

[sniffs, sighs]

[Krista] Joel.

There's no way you can show up to work
in the state you're in. You haven't slept.

A meter-thick layer of ash.
The Yellowstone Caldera.

An underground supervolcano
that erupts at regular intervals.

The previous eruption caused waves
of extinction and changes in the climate.

It measures approximately
50 by 70 kilometers.

Half of North America
would be choked by the eruption.

The cloud of ash would block the sun.

That would mean a nuclear winter
with no escape from the cold.

Is there any hope for us?

Our Lord Father says
we must practice hope.

I predict a new ice age.

And practice is the only thing
you can suggest?

What's that, Matias?

Pastor, I've lived here for a while now.

I know everyone.

And from what I've gathered
while talking to you,

it seems that nearly everyone in this town
has more faith than you do.

-You know everyone in the village?
-Even beyond that.

Because my ex-wife and I moved here
almost 40 years ago now.

Her entire family's from around here.

Every person who was born here
since I arrived,

has learned to play flute from me.

I'm also a member of sports clubs,
moose-hunting groups

and the summer theater.

You can't throw a rock in any direction
without hitting someone that I know.

I'm looking for answers too.

I come looking for answers about
the apocalypse. So far--

And I think I've come up with
something very helpful

that requires discretion.

And probably for us to meet
on a set schedule.

A regular slot
to meet you and discuss things?

Yes, I'm still working out details,
but since you know everyone

you must be familiar with
the smells of everyone in town.

Yes. Some I'd like to forget.

Well, I'm looking for a sort of…

strong aroma that's noticeable,
but not heavy.

With, um… musky notes and citrus.

Yeah. Musk and citrus. But maybe
we could lock in the appointment first?

Why don't we get it
on the calendar right now.

-Tarvainen.
-Get lost.

[sniffs]

Last night,
did you wanna talk about something?

[sniffs]

I wanted to know
what the hell God is playing at.

Well…

I don't know.

My old man used to always say

that the Lord moves in mysterious ways.

But that nothing happens by chance.

That meteorite wanted to find me, Pastor.

And then Jukkis comes
and says it belongs to the village

and sticks it under glass.

Maybe you know what it feels like

to have a life-changing gift
taken from you.

Goddammit.

I already lost my copilot.

Two little girls lost their father.

I thought that rock was my second chance.

And I might actually
have been given a fresh start

and a means of paying off my debt.

To get back in the driver's seat,
you know?

I deserve to have that meteorite.

What we deserve and what we get
are very different things.

Is he testing us, Pastor?

-The Lord?
-Uh-huh.

There's a chance.

In my humble opinion,
the fundamental question is

whether the universe,

life,

with all of its galaxies, stars,

meteorites…

is constructed like a precise
machine with a goal of its own.

A purpose.

Or is it just an endlessly floating
and meaningless pile of waste,

formed by millions
and billions of tiny coincidences?

I hear you.

[belches]

[coughing]

Hey! You can't drive in that state.

Go ahead and call the cops.

They'll get here in about two hours.

["Tytön huivi" playing on radio]

Yes?

This is Doctor Aziz Delai from
the Joensuu Central Hospital speaking.

I got your results.

I'm afraid there haven't been any changes.

-Meaning?
-The little rascals don't swim.

You still can't have
any biological children.

Are you sure?

Miracles do happen.

I think you might have a book about that.

Right.

[rhythmic music playing]

I'll take a phone.

Don't think my battery's holding up
in the cold,

so a spare one would be good.

"Hi, Krista."

"I had to get a new number."

"I miss you."

"Can we get together?"

"I'll be waiting for you tomorrow
at eight o'clock at the old mine. X"

That should do it.

[sighs] And send.

SENDING TO KRISTA

There.

Shit, shit.

Shit! Idiot. Shit!

[sighs] No! No!

[icy tingling]

[cell phone vibrating]

[Matias] Pastor.

-Hello.
-So I've been sniffing around the village.

No one's noticed a thing.

But I think
that I might be onto something.

Uh-huh.

I stumbled onto evidence
while I was running my errands.

And you'll never believe this.

I read this book called
Past Scents by Jonathan Reinarz.

Did you know that
for hundreds of years, human beings have--

Matias.

Pagan folk,
religious folk, Christians, etcetera.

Even priests.

The one thing they all have in common
is falling in love with certain smells.

Matias, I really have to go.

[dial tone rings]

[cell phone ringing]

[muffled ringing]

[rhythmic music playing]

[Krista] Helps!

[phone vibrates]

Uh, hi, sweetheart.

[Krista] Joel.

I think I've sprained my ankle.

Oh. Oh, uh…

Are you okay? I mean, uh…

Does it still hurt?

I don't think
I can put any weight on it at all.

-Can you come, please?
-Are you…

in our front yard?

I actually came out to the woods.

What were you doing
at that old mine, anyway?

I was planning to go
to Räystis' gym today.

I came out here
to get a bit of fresh air first.

The scenery is prettier too.

Yes, but now you've got a sprained ankle.

Better than showing up at work
with an open head wound, don't you think?

[poignant music playing]

I'm not gonna be able
to teach for a while.

What am I supposed to do with myself?

[Pirkko] Ah! Praying again, Pastor?

Ah. I didn't quite finish up here.

I've got an upset stomach.
I went to Golden Moon for lunch

and Jokinen's sausages give me the runs.

I'm finished setting up
the books for service

and like the way these look.

1.2 meters. 1.2 meters.

-1.2 meters.
-Were you praying?

I was in the middle of vacuuming.

You don't mind, do you?
It's like white noise.

Very soothing. Like that ASMR stuff.

Autonomous Sensory Meridian Response.

-[plucky string music playing]
-[vacuum whirring]

[door opens]

Hello there.

-Pastor.
-Räystäinen.

I'm pretty sure you're not here
to get your car checked?

Get ready to sweat.

[music stops]

For me, that would be just a warm-up jog.

[treadmill beeping persistently]

Keep going.

Sixty-three.

[Räystäinen] You know,

I'm surprised that you actually know
how to do these exercises.

Sixty-three.

Sixty-three.

But I suppose you have to keep in shape

with a hottie like Krista at home.

[breathes deeply]

Who are you working out for, then?

A special someone?

Hit the bench press.

[grunts]

-What did you find?
-[Matias] Listen.

About that scent. It was very punchy.

Dare I say,

it was almost a little seductive.

Musky with hints of nutmeg and lemon zest.

[softly] That's it. On who?

[Italian pop song playing inside]

[Jukkis] And don't forget to leave
your drawings for the contest.

Yes, right.

Good evening, Pastor Joel.

Jukkis.

-[man 1] Cheers.
-[man 2] Yeah, cheers.

[man 3] You too.

[Räystäinen] Don't you have night watch?

I thought I'd treat myself to a quick beer
to recover from that workout first.

You should rest
after straining your muscles.

Rolle can take your shift at the museum.

-Rolle!
-[Rolle groans]

-Hay-ya! Karate man!
-[man 2] My drawing.

I think I'll be just fine, thank you.

[man 2] I didn't even
get to coloring it yet.

[woman] Hey, guys.
The kitchen's closing soon.

-Do you wanna order something?
-[sniffs]

The special is
a nice chicken breast in curry sauce.

[sighs] I could really use a saucy breast.

-[woman] They're very tender.
-I'm more of a thigh guy.

Very hot and plump.

[men laughing]

[Räystäinen] ♪ Karoliina, Karoliina
I miss you day and night. ♪

[Karoliina] Breast and thigh. You got it.

Order up!

[men chat indistinctly]

LEAVE YOUR DRAWING HERE

Can I have a beer, please?

I can't believe
what you have to put up with.

Yeah, well. Those guys are a whole lot
of talk and very little action.

As long as their EU subsidies
and benefit checks keep coming in,

they're more than happy to sit
in that corner all night.

And you know they'll still be
over there yapping long after I'm gone.

On the house.

Thank you.

[sighs]

You were at the museum
when the robbers came, right?

[Joel clears throat] Yes.

Bumbling idiots took a grenade
instead of the rock they were after. Hmm.

Mm. We have our fair share of idiots.

And here I thought Hurmevaara
meant charming.

Unfortunately, my time here has shown
that the charm has all dried up.

So your friend Jesus,

did he walk on water?

I wasn't there for it.

Too young?

[Joel exhales] No, I just, uh…
had a lot going on that day.

But you still helped roll the stone.

Well, 2,000 years ago,

I think we were all
still playing with rocks.

-And flint stones.
-Mm-hmm.

-And now one is worth millions.
-[man] Siberia. [groans]

It's freezing here.

Yeah, yeah. Oof.

[men chattering indistinctly]

[Karoliina] Say hello to Krista for me.

How do you know each other?

From here, of course.

She likes her drinks.

Does she drink with other people?

Mm-hmm.

[chattering indistinctly]

[Karoliina] I like your hair.

Got for it.

-I like it.
-Me too.

-How are you?
-[Karoliina] Not bad. I'm good.

[fantastical music playing]

Get a move on!

You're late for guard duty!

[sighs]

[man] Father.

A ride?

No, thanks.

-It's good exercise.
-You are priest.

Help with worries?

Yes.

It's so dry here.

Siberia.

[groans]

Well, I'm receiving visitors
at midday tomorrow in the church, so…

This worry needs to be addressed now.

You drive.

[Joel] Towards the museum?

[man] How about we talk
somewhere else first?

Turn left here. There.

A priest.

It's good.

Essential work, huh?

Souls are so torn apart
in this day and age.

I'm Mikis.

-Joel.
-Uh-huh.

Sorry about this car.

Local people don't understand style.

Please, don't try.

Huh. Take the next on the right.

Let's stop here.

Adam and Eve.

They weren't grateful.

God gave them everything, huh?

The only thing they had to do is
to accept the gift and have faith.

I offer you paradise.

Tonight, the only thing you have to do is

to leave the museum door open.

10,000 euros if you go out
for a cigarette.

[chuckles nervously]

10,000 euros?

Immediately.

I have it here.

[breathing heavily]

-Smoking kills.
-I got a Beretta.

She can kill also.

And I could just get the meteorite.
Who'd stop me?

A small-town priest from Siberia.

[Mikis groans]

[both straining]

[muffled gunshot]

[labored breathing]

[softly] Serpent.

[snowmobile approaching]

[Joel pants]

[man] Mikis? What's going on here?

Mikis?

Hey!

Stop!

[coughs] Ow.

Hey!

[energetic music playing]

-[music fades]
-[Joel pants]

[panting]

-[clattering]
-[panicked gasp]

[exhales slowly]

There you are.

You killed Mikis.

And now I'll kill you.

-[clattering]
-[shrieks]

[breathing erratically]

Your banging interrupted my shut-eye.

[fantastical music playing]

It's still here.

It's all good.

[icy tingling]

[shakily] Forgive me, Father.

[breathing heavily]

[music becomes emotional]

[music fades]

[Joel] He was down there.

-And you say he was a big Russian guy?
-A giant.

-A giant.
-Yes.

[sniffs]

Sorry. I… I got sick.

-I smell a little like throw-up.
-[man on radio] Pasi.

-Yeah?
-There's nothing here.

-There's nothing there?
-No, just snow.

Copy that.

Did you have any alcohol last night?

A little.

-I had a beer at the Golden Moon.
-Just one?

Yeah, then I came here.

That's where I first saw them.

Mikis and the giant came.

And they seemed to know
the other guys around the table.

Karoliina too.

And… Räystis.

So you went to the bar,
threw up and fought.

Yes. I struggled with Mikis in the car.

When I saw what happened, I got--

Your story's got more holes
in it than my grandma's stockings,

Because we didn't find a car
or a dead guy.

Huh?

When's the last time you slept?
You look like hell.

Um, I don't know.

[exhales] Uh…

-At least 72 hours or more.
-It shows.

I suggest you start going easy
on the booze

and go home and get some sleep.

What?

Hey. Hey!

Excuse me.

The reason I haven't slept
is because I have insomnia.

What happened in there
has nothing to do with any of that.

-Everything I told you is true.
-I think you need a vacation.

Check yourself into a clinic
for a few days, you'll be good as new.

-What?
-Well…

I'm just tired.
I don't need to check in anywhere.

Well, maybe you need to be made aware
of the budget cuts we're dealing with?

Have you considered how much gas
we use to come all the way out here?

Twelve liters worth.

And do you know how many blue notebooks
we could buy with that instead?

As of the other day, the bean counters
at the top have a new rule.

We're not allowed
to have a new blue notebook

until the one we're using
is all filled up.

And here you are, boozing it up all day.

And we come out here
and you make us look like fools.

There, there.

-Always with the fucking priests!
-Pasi.

You're getting worked up.

Remember what
the crisis therapist taught you.

-Inhale through the nose.
-[inhales]

-Exhale through the mouth.
-[exhales]

Maybe you should read
some self-help books, huh?

Do yoga.

You need to loosen up.

Yeah. Thanks.

We're here to serve.

[whimsical music playing]

[no audible dialogue]

[music becomes fantastical]

[painful groaning]

[distant coughing]

-Mm.
-[Jukkis] Krista is still in the shower.

Okay.

It's good to be clean.

I could use a shower.

[sighs]

Hmm.

I, uh… brought the groceries she ordered.

Oh. Right.

First thing in the morning?

She actually placed her order last night,
but I couldn't make it.

I see. What's in the bag?

Mostly sweet and salty things.

There's some milk and cookies, sausage,
bread rolls and Belgian chocolates.

-[grunts]
-And some lingonberries.

Right.

I would think

you'd have a higher minimum
for home delivery.

The gas alone must kill you.

Well, I'm focused on pleasing
our customers first. It's our thing.

Minna and I.

We literally go the extra mile for you.

She says it's a little bit like Moses
who went somewhere.

I know it's got something to do with him.
Minna says he was a good climb--

Moses went to the mountain,
is what you're looking for?

Right. Exactly.

-Mm.
-I'll let you take care of the food.

Hey! Don't you want to wait
so you can say hi to Krista?

Catch up?

We did that already.

-Mm.
-At length.

Wait.

Can you help me with this?

[Jukkis grunts]

Okay then.

-Is there anything else?
-You tell me if there is.

No. I need to get to work.

The museum.
I'll go make sure everything's okay.

Your coat's over there.

I forgot.

I'm all turned around.

[whimsical music resumes]

[exhales slowly]

[shower gushing]

[grunts]

[shower stops]

THE METEORITE DRAWING CONTEST

[men chatting indistinctly]

[Karoliina] Coffee.

Mm.

Thank you.

Krista says hi
and said to ask when the next party is.

Here?

I'd say this place is
a non-stop party. [chuckles]

Play a game with me.

I'll ask you something
and then you'll ask me.

Why are you spending your nights
watching a rock and not with your wife?

I needed something.

A heavenly message?

I dunno. [sighs]

Is this hamlet too boring for you?

Are you hiding from something or…

Do you have something to hide?

My turn.

The guy whose lap you were sitting on…

Mm.

Do you know where he's from?

You heard his accent?

Are you…

looking out for me, Pastor?

Do you need my help?

I think that
we could help each other, maybe

How's that?

How many of the commandments
do you follow?

[chokes]

-I have a--
-Karoliina!

My usual! My breakfast of champions.
Coffee, vodka, and sausages.

[Karoliina] I can't take
another day in this place.

JOEL HUHTA
PRIEST

STAY AWAY FROM THE MUSEUM!

[sighs]

If you ever intended
to share some answers,

now would be a good time.

[man] Father?

Do you have a moment?

Yes.

Ah, yeah. Um…

God is testing.

Slippery stairs.

You're bound by… confidentiality, right?

Whatever you say stays here.

My friend… is dead.

I'm sorry.

He was murdered.

Oh.

-There's been nothing in the news.
-Mm.

The bullet went
straight through his heart.

It was a professional job. Someone here.

Someone here that fired a gun before.

So…

-Hardly you, right?
-[breathing heavily]

Could you open this, please, Father?

Yeah.

In Hurmevaara,

I don't think that…

professionals…

Mm.

I will…

find him all right.

Sure you will.

Mikis was a father to me.

He was your father?

The father I never had.

Of course I had a father
who fathered me, right?

But Mikis, he protected me.
Taught me everything I know.

A father.

We were supposed to travel to Hawaii.

But then we came here, to Little Siberia…

for business,
to trot around in the… the cold.

And then I fell in love and… [chuckles]

Yeah.

Mikis died.

You fell in love?

Yeah.

Her name is Karoliina.

Mm.

[chuckles softly]

What would you do if someone, uh…

murdered your father?

My father drowned.

[man] I'm sorry for your loss.

Huh.

Mm.

Do you have a wife?

Children?

Yes.

Children…

Not yet.

Ah, so you're
in the "making a child" phase.

That's the best part.

The rest depends
whether you like children or not.

If you do,

you don't want anything bad
to happen to them, nor to you,

nor to the mother of the child, right?

Right.

I want to apologize to him.

Up there.

Apologize for what?

For everything I have done.

And what I'm going to do.

I've tortured.

Broken bones.

Torn out nails.

Torn out teeth and uh…
chopped off fingers, ears, nose.

And I've burned people with, uh…
What's it called again?

It has, uh, gas and a flame.

-Blowtorch?
-[frantic laughing]

That's it! A blowtorch.

Yes, right. Thank you.

I have… I have burned people
with a blowtorch.

Anyway…

Now I have changed.

I met the love of my life.

I want to live a life without violence.

I'll just do one more thing first
and I will… apologize for that.

-Father?
-Mm-hmm.

Would you do me the honor
to… join me in a small prayer?

Of course.

For me to find Mikis' murderer.

[Joel] Mm.

Mm.

Um…

[man] You're a good priest.

A good listener.

My name is Petar.

[sighs]

[food squelching]

[Joel sighs]

I can explain, sweetheart.

If I gave you a chance to explain,

it would be more consideration
than I got from you.

I sprained my ankle after you tricked me
into going into the woods.

Yes, but that wasn't what I wanted.

Do you have any idea what it's like
to be stuck here day in and day out

in this godforsaken house
that doesn't feel like home?

Do you expect me to be
your quiet little pastor's wife?!

No, and I never have.

So, let's go!

-What the hell were you after?
-I wanna know who the father is!

I don't understand.

-Joel?
-I'm sterile because of my injury.

-What?
-I can't have biological children.

How long have you known?

Since Afghanistan.

[breathing shakily]

I'm sorry I didn't tell you.

-I've tried so many times.
-Don't touch me.

Krista.

-Krista.
-Please leave me alone right now.

I can't do this.

Go see your rock
and get your head kicked in some more.

[breathing heavily]

You kept things from me too.

[spits]

[poignant music playing]

Tarvainen.

Tarvainen. Hey!

-Hey! Wake up!
-[clears throat]

-It belongs to me, Pastor.
-Please go home and get some rest.

Isn't this what they hired you to do,
though?

Guard the meteorite?
I volunteered when I was asked, yes.

Now, would you please go home?

The museum's closed. You can't come in.

I mean to talk to people.

Oh, I see.

It landed right there.

Told me to stop and… live a little longer.

We should talk more.

Please, come see me
at the church any time.

How's it doing?

The church?

My meteorite.

We have a therapy group
that meets once a week.

It could be a good starting point. And…

"Rally or die, my brother."

That's what Sulevi always said.

He said what?

Would you look at that!

-The pastor and the champion.
-Rally or die, my brother!

-Rally or die, my brother!
-Rally or die, my brother.

[engine revs persistently]

[icy tingling]

-[door knocking]
-[Krista] Joel!

[sighs]

That's what it looks like.

One million euros.

[chuckles softly]

Yeah. Lots of folks seem to think so.

People believe what they want.

Did you get a professional opinion?

The doctor said I'd need a mi…

miracle and then some.

Don't you think we both deserve one?

We should've talked more, sweetheart.

I should've known something was wrong.

You shut down when we started trying.

Because I was afraid.

I was considering fertility treatment
if things didn't work.

Would you have just let me
start taking those hormones?

I was scared that you would leave me
if I told the truth.

And I was scared to death
that you were seeing someone else.

I couldn't get your attention.

Especially on the days
when we were trying.

It doesn't help
that you need so much attention.

It seems like we're living
in two separate worlds.

[scoffs] Yeah,
yours with Räystis and Jukkis

with your hands
all over their sweaty hips.

That's what a dance teacher
is supposed to do.

-Then you party together.
-It's called socializing.

You should try it!

People talk about this rock
being a message from above.

What do you think?

I dunno.

Possibly.

If it is, the message isn't very clear.

Imperfection is what makes
our world exist.

Nothing in the universe
would've happened without it.

We both made mistakes.

And we do need to talk.

But here's what I suggest.

If you wanna share this gift,

come home to us.

Otherwise, go straight to work
in the morning.

And I'll pack my bags and go home.

I'll be on the first train back
to Helsinki, and we'll both move on.

Either way, I really hope
you find your faith again, Joel.

That's why I fixed this.

[emotional music playing]

For better or for worse.

I meant every word.

[emotional music playing]

Because I've never loved anyone this much.

[Joel exhales slowly]

[music intensifies]

[grunts, inhales sharply]

[clock ticking]

Krista?

Krista?

[door knocking]

[Joel clears throat]

The door was open, so I came in.

I didn't know you were home.

Joel.

What the hell?

Where is my wife?

[Jukkis] Isn't she here?

-Are you the baby's father?
-What are you talking about?

Please, don't kill me!

[panting]

I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have done that. I'm…

preaching forgiveness
while I act like a man possessed.

You gave in
to a strong temptation. I get it.

I understand.

I should congratulate you
on your wonderful news.

Um… I can't have any children.

-But the pregnancy?
-I wish.

My swimmers are weak.

Minna and I have wanted children
for years, but no luck.

I think she might actually
move back down south.

But I'm talking about your affair
with my wife.

We're expecting.

I mean, aren't you the father?

Where did you get that idea?

You've been coming around
when I'm… I'm not here.

And my injury…

When I was in the service…

Krista's pregnant?

-Yes. Yes, she is.
-That's wonderful.

[chuckles warmly]

Congratulations.

I would love to be the father.

You're lucky.

[chuckles] Here.

I made this from Räystis's last kill.

While I was skinning him, I was thinking

how we must've had a lot of females
and made lots of young.

He had a massive dick,
much bigger than this sausage.

I'm sure it worked great too.

I'd give anything

to have just one good swimmer.

To become a father.

Minna says her talks with Krista
were always really helpful

and boosted her spirits.

That's why I was here.

To tell her how much I appreciate it.

And I promised her this as a thank you.

I won't bother you any longer.

[message notification chimes]

[disguised voice] The meteorite will be
picked up tonight. Don't tell anyone.

Come to the museum alone.

If you call the police or tell anyone,

you will never see your wife again.

[tense music playing]

[music becomes dramatic]

[men chattering indistinctly]

[Karoliina] Pastor.

Kitchen.

Where is she?

-Tell me.
-I have a brilliant idea.

Worth a million, or so I'm told.

If it's the meteorite you're
talking about, what will you do with it?

How about putting an end
to 36 years of boredom and bullshit?

You don't need millions to
start a new life somewhere else.

Doing what? Standing in breadlines?

Putting my ass on display
with my OnlyFans website?

We're not all priests with secure jobs.

So, at 2 a.m., you'll have two burglars
interrupt your night shift.

[suspenseful music playing]

One'll come in the back door
hoping to surprise you.

You'll be prepared.

You'll hear everything because
your ears are so used to listening.

Your training will kick in.

You'll fight to defend
the village's treasure.

The burglar will get shot.
It'll count as self-defense.

You want me to shoot him?

I know you've done it before.

It'll turn out the dead one is on the run
and wanted in several countries.

Later,

his accomplice will be found… frozen.

And that will make it very difficult
to determine the time of death.

The meteorite will have disappeared.

That million-dollar rock
from outer space will be long gone.

Only you'll still be the hero.

And the whole village will become famous.

Everyone will be happy,
and boatloads of tourists will show up.

Remember, the first guy
will come in the back door at two.

And you will kill him.

[music ends]

[kick landing]

I'm worried about you having this.

You don't have to worry,
it's for guard duty.

Did you bring the ammunition?

One bullet?

I figured one would be enough.

[sighs]

You know…

our talks have given me renewed hope.

And if that goes away,

this rope will be strong enough.

And it's eco-friendly.

It could be used
for other things after. [chuckles]

And it's quite long.

[peaceful music playing]

[ominous drum beats]

Please let this
one bullet be enough, Lord.

[Petar] Open, fuck.

Hands up!

Hands up!

-Priest?
-Drop the knife.

Keep your hands where I can see them.

Okay. Keep your hands up.
Keep your hands up.

Why are you holding a rifle?

You're going to shoot me, are you?

Go to the pole. Go to the pole!

Drop on your knees.

Drop on your knees now!

Spit on your hands. Spit into your hands!

Yes. Spit, spit.

And now put them a… around the pole.

Grab it. Grab it. Grab it.

Like that. Yeah.

And now you stick your tongue
onto the pole.

Lick the pole! Lick the pole!

[groans]

[Joel] Yeah.

[Petar] Ah. Ah!

One bullet.

One bullet.

[message notification chimes]

PUT THE ROCK IN A BAG.

DON'T CALL THE POLICE
AND YOU'LL GET KRISTA BACK.

[Joel] What the hell…

[sniffing]

Do as I say, and it might still work out.

Turn around.

Now you smash that glass.

Do it now.

-Karoliina.
-Do it now!

Do it now!

Good boy.

-You could've just used the keys.
-[scoffs]

Then you wouldn't get caught

after trying to disguise
your attempted theft as a break-in.

The meteorite will be gone,

but there won't be
any signs of forced entry.

Only your fingerprints
all over this place.

I do appreciate
you opening the door for me, Pastor.

Chivalrous.

Now, take that pretty little rock
out of the case.

-[clattering]
-[footsteps approaching]

Petar.

Wait. Wait.

-Karoliina…
-[Karoliina] Take the backpack.

[Petar gasps, groans]

Stone in the bag.

-[Petar groans]
-[Karoliina] Come on.

Now I wanna see Krista.

-Krista?
-Yes, I wanna see her.

[scoffs]

You guys are all the same.

-What?
-Nobody move!

-[Karoliina] Tarvainen.
-You don't know who I am.

[Karoliina] If you say so.

[Tarvainen] Put the gun on the floor,
then kick it away.

The backpack.

Throw me the fucking backpack!

[Tarvainen grunts]

If I see so much as your shadow behind me,
I'll shoot.

Stay here… or die.

[Petar grunts, shrieks]

[fantastical music playing]

[Tarvainen] Nothing works
around here, does it?

["Tytön huivi" playing]

[man sings in Finnish]

[Tarvainen] This fucking rifle.

It's a piece of shit.

Joel.

-What do you want?
-[Joel] Krista.

She's not here.

Tell me where she is right now.

[Tarvainen] How would I know?

Anything else?

Uh… I'm taking that meteorite.

[Tarvainen] Sulevi sent it for me.

[Joel] Sulevi?

Your copilot.

That happened during a rally in Corsica.

We were eight seconds behind the leader.

Sulevi got a reading wrong.

A slight right
turned out to be a hard one.

[sniffs]

I was mad, so I started
shouting at him, and I lost focus.

Next thing I know, we're underwater.

I couldn't save him.

It was an accident.

[Tarvainen] Mm.

I could start racing again. [sniffs]

And show Sulevi that I got his message
and it wasn't all for nothing.

That his death wasn't a complete waste.

[sniffs, sighs]

[tearful chuckle]

Rally or die, my brother.

Mm.

Sulevi isn't angry with you.

Neither is God.

They forgive you.

For as you well know,
if you forgive others their trespasses,

your Heavenly Father will also…
also forgive all yours.

Matthew. [sniffs]

-Yes.
-[sobs softly]

That doesn't explain
why you're here, though.

I'm here because
I really need that meteorite.

-I need it more!
-[grunts painfully]

[classical Finnish song continues]

[Tarvainen grunts]

[intense pulsating music playing]

[panting]

[Joel] Stop!

Stop!

[icy tingling]

[ethereal music playing]

[music becomes dramatic]

[message notification chimes]

I HAVE KRISTA NOW.

BRING THE ROCK TO THE GYM. K.

[tense string music playing]

[dance music blaring]

[Räystis] Help me.

-Please.
-Where's Krista?

Petar and…

-Karoliina.
-Where are they?

They wanted me out of the picture.
Get me off this thing!

I'll tell the cops everything.
I'm sorry, Pastor.

Please.

[message notification chimes]

You're… [grunts] …the one
who kidnapped my Krista?!

Because the bank was going to
shut down my business.

Where did they take her?

-This place is my whole life.
-Where's Krista?!

They're out back waiting for you!

Don't go!

Help me!

-When are your first clients getting here?
-At six.

[panting]

Those rusty grenades don't actually work.

The one that exploded was a fluke.

We think.

Don't leave me here! [cries painfully]

[Joel] Get ready to sweat!

[music volume increases]

[frustrated shriek]

[dance music continues in the distance]

Come on, you shit!

[both grunting]

You fuck!

Take me to Krista!

I'll take the fucking
knife out of your chest.

-And I'll fucking stick it up your arse!
-[gunshot echoes]

-Karoliina!
-Stop, Petar! Or I'll shoot!

[Karoliina] Joel!

What are we gonna do now, huh?

We need to take it easy and talk!

You get your boyfriend and the meteorite,

when you give me my wife!

Or you forget this whole crazy thing
and let Krista go!

-[Petar grunts]
-[Karoliina] Sorry, Petar.

[groans]

[Karoliina] Come out
with the bag where I can see it.

Or I shoot your wife next!

[breathing heavily]

[Karoliina] Do you understand?

[gunshots]

[Joel] Give me Krista,
then I'll bring you the bag.

[Petar] Karoliina!

Get out!

Bring me the bag!

[Joel] Forgive me.

I'm sorry for being such an idiot,
sweetheart.

You are my universe.

You're the most beautiful thing
in the world.

Especially… when you're doing
what you love most.

And I love your pirouettes.

-What?
-The pirouettes that you do.

-They're perfect.
-[Karoliina] Enough, Joel!

[music softens]

[grunts]

[labored breathing]

Joel?

-[grunts]
-Is that a knife?

[Krista] Joel.

[breathing shakily]

My heart knew you would find me.

-We're fine now.
-I was meant to find you.

Are you all right, sweetheart?

-Both of you?
-[sobs] Yeah.

Good.

My little miracle.

You're my miracle.

[Joel] My… miracle.

[Krista sobs]

[Joel] Somewhere, far, far away,
there was an explosion.

And somehow, it reached me.

[sniffs]

[Matias] Good afternoon, Pastor.

Hello, Matias.

I'm still on paternity leave.
I just stopped by to pick up a few things.

[chuckles] I see. So…

What has your son been up to?

Well, mostly eating, pooping and sleeping.

Especially in the car.

-A good trick.
-Mm.

So… I didn't come to talk.

I mean, I didn't come
to have a conversation session with you.

Oh.

I have a whole other set
of preoccupations now.

Mm.

I went on this app, Tinder,
that helps people find love.

-Good for you.
-And then boom!

I hit the bullseye with the first one.

Really?

She's a fiery angel.

And her smell is earthy and intoxicating.

While we're at it, I was wondering

if the confidentiality rules apply
for you even when you're not working?

Mm.

She's out of this world.

A phenomenon in every single regard.

Safe words handcuffs,
leather and whipped cream.

It's a whole new universe I'm discovering.
It's something else.

Truly something else.

It's so good to have found true love,
that I even had a vasectomy.

Perfect.

-You do seem in lighter spirits.
-What's all this?

Oh. [chuckles]

The doctor suggested more exercise,
so I took up diving.

[Pirkko] Matias.

We have to go. Now.

[chuckles]

[baby cooing]

[Joel and Krista laugh]

[Joel sighs contently]

There's my little angel.

[Krista giggles]

[fantastical music playing]

-Shall we go for a swim?
-Yes.

[icy tingling, rattling]

[music intensifies]

[music fades]

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