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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:02:13,380 --> 00:02:14,713 (ACCORDION PLAYING) 4 00:02:27,713 --> 00:02:28,963 Cha, cha, cha. 5 00:03:16,338 --> 00:03:19,338 -Hot dogs here. Get your hot dogs here. -One hot dog. 6 00:03:19,421 --> 00:03:21,088 Right, sir. 7 00:03:25,005 --> 00:03:27,921 I said, 'Get with it, chick! Get with it! What's the point of coming 8 00:03:28,005 --> 00:03:29,963 'if you don't go for the beat, huh? What's the point?' 9 00:03:30,046 --> 00:03:32,630 Yeah, but Vera, when she goes, she really goes. 10 00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:35,296 You see, he does look like Dave Brubeck only shorter. 11 00:03:35,380 --> 00:03:38,213 -I thought Brubeck was shorter. -Oh, no. Very big. 12 00:03:38,296 --> 00:03:41,796 Well, I can't get with him. I do try, but I just can't! 13 00:03:41,880 --> 00:03:44,671 Him, he's so square, it's like dancing with a load of dice. 14 00:03:44,755 --> 00:03:45,796 No. 15 00:03:46,755 --> 00:03:52,380 Variety, Miss, Melody Maker. I'll bring 'em back in the morning. 16 00:03:52,463 --> 00:03:53,546 MAN: Johnny! 17 00:03:55,088 --> 00:03:56,838 Johnny, this isn't a lending library. 18 00:03:56,921 --> 00:03:59,380 All right, I'm not paying a subscription. 19 00:04:03,296 --> 00:04:04,421 Hello, boy. 20 00:04:09,380 --> 00:04:13,213 I've got second in the third and third in the fourth. I've got no appetite! 21 00:04:13,296 --> 00:04:15,838 Look, let's come to the Spieler. It might break the box. 22 00:04:15,921 --> 00:04:17,546 -Still racing, Racer? -What else? 23 00:04:17,630 --> 00:04:20,171 I got a hot tip for you. Meesa Masheena in the 4:30. 24 00:04:20,255 --> 00:04:22,838 -On you, too, better. -LEON: Two salt beef on rye! 25 00:04:23,046 --> 00:04:25,963 -Dying to see your new look, Leon. -Have you got music? 26 00:04:26,088 --> 00:04:27,713 -What am I, La Scala? -Hi, Leon. 27 00:04:27,796 --> 00:04:29,421 -You want this eat or take? -Eat. 28 00:04:29,505 --> 00:04:31,713 Two salt beef on rye. Four shillings. Hi, Johnny. 29 00:04:31,796 --> 00:04:34,421 -How are the alterations coming? -Expensive. And no. 30 00:04:34,505 --> 00:04:35,880 -No what? -No nothing from you. 31 00:04:35,963 --> 00:04:37,171 I don't want no propositions. 32 00:04:37,255 --> 00:04:38,755 Did I make? I didn't make! 33 00:04:38,838 --> 00:04:40,630 I've got a big enough proposition with all this! 34 00:04:40,713 --> 00:04:43,046 All right, so give me a cup of coffee and I won't waste your time 35 00:04:43,171 --> 00:04:45,130 by telling you what to make Leon's new expresso 36 00:04:45,213 --> 00:04:47,213 the most habitated teenage club in Soho. 37 00:04:47,296 --> 00:04:51,421 -Thank you very much. One coffee! -Make me up six salt beef on white 38 00:04:51,505 --> 00:04:56,005 -and four... No, two smoked salmon. -To eat? Oh, no, it's too many. 39 00:04:56,088 --> 00:04:58,505 To take. If it's not against your principles. 40 00:04:58,796 --> 00:05:02,421 Oh, by the way, you heard I'm handling the Beast Rhythm Group. 41 00:05:02,505 --> 00:05:05,005 Beast Burns and his Beasts making a bomb! 42 00:05:05,088 --> 00:05:06,588 Six salt beef on rye! 43 00:05:06,671 --> 00:05:08,838 The rye's more fresher. Who wants Beasts? 44 00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:10,921 Everybody wants to listen to music today, Leon. 45 00:05:11,005 --> 00:05:12,630 Everybody wants it! 46 00:05:12,838 --> 00:05:16,171 -So, what's with this new juke box? -They'll fix it. It's music, ain't it? 47 00:05:16,255 --> 00:05:20,130 Leon, for half of what that machine, with its degenerate can-music costs, 48 00:05:20,213 --> 00:05:22,005 you can have a real live artiste in this place, 49 00:05:22,088 --> 00:05:24,505 a personality, someone that the kids will eat up! 50 00:05:24,588 --> 00:05:26,130 No. N-O! 51 00:05:26,213 --> 00:05:27,880 You're talking to an educated man, Leon. 52 00:05:28,296 --> 00:05:30,880 I could spell even four-letter words before I was six! 53 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:32,171 Take a night off! 54 00:05:32,255 --> 00:05:34,546 Don't you want to open this great new enterprise with a splash, 55 00:05:34,838 --> 00:05:36,380 something that will get you into the papers? 56 00:05:36,463 --> 00:05:37,880 Now look at this. Just look. 57 00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,880 'Teenage kids making music in expressos.' 58 00:05:40,963 --> 00:05:42,338 It's creating such interest. 59 00:05:42,796 --> 00:05:45,963 -It's a good publicity. -It's fabulous publicity! 60 00:05:46,046 --> 00:05:47,755 I can book you an artiste into here 61 00:05:47,838 --> 00:05:50,963 which'll make this place beat out greetings from Croydon to Willesden! 62 00:05:51,088 --> 00:05:52,546 The kids will come flocking in here! 63 00:05:52,921 --> 00:05:56,338 Cost you a mere £20 a week for a first-class artiste. 64 00:05:56,671 --> 00:06:00,130 -£5 cash. Booking charge. -(CHUCKLING) Some hope. 65 00:06:00,213 --> 00:06:03,921 -Hope, unlike charity, costs nothing. -It's still too expensive. 66 00:06:04,005 --> 00:06:05,296 Six beef, two salmons. 67 00:06:05,421 --> 00:06:07,338 I want you know that I come from a long line 68 00:06:07,421 --> 00:06:10,296 of small-capital big-hopers, some of whom did not die bankrupt. 69 00:06:10,380 --> 00:06:12,380 Look, Johnny, why don't you stick to drumming? 70 00:06:12,463 --> 00:06:15,005 You're a good drummer, boy, but what kind of a manager! 71 00:06:15,088 --> 00:06:16,380 -Hah! -What's so funny? 72 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,380 I put in a few cucumbers to last. 73 00:06:18,505 --> 00:06:20,796 I was just thinking what a great opportunity you're missing 74 00:06:20,880 --> 00:06:22,088 for the sake of a mere fiver. 75 00:06:22,171 --> 00:06:25,421 -I'm glad. -Oh, well, that's how it is. 76 00:06:25,505 --> 00:06:27,171 Some fellas are just not cut out for success. 77 00:06:27,255 --> 00:06:28,796 Ah, that's how it is. 78 00:06:28,880 --> 00:06:30,046 Look, Leon, 79 00:06:30,505 --> 00:06:33,963 I'll book you a top personality and throw in a group to back him. 80 00:06:34,046 --> 00:06:36,588 A mere 20, the package. No? 81 00:06:36,671 --> 00:06:38,755 -A mere no. -All right. 82 00:06:38,838 --> 00:06:40,796 All right! So thank you and good night, 83 00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:43,005 Leon expresso bar schlemiel! 84 00:06:43,171 --> 00:06:45,921 Hey, you're actually paying? 85 00:06:46,005 --> 00:06:48,005 I told you, foolish man, I own a fortune in talent. 86 00:06:48,088 --> 00:06:49,921 It just so happens I'm a fiver short tonight. 87 00:06:50,005 --> 00:06:52,088 Eh, Johnny, wait a minute. 88 00:06:52,171 --> 00:06:55,838 For curiosity's sake, what's the proposition? 89 00:06:55,963 --> 00:06:59,630 -No, it's too late, Leon, forget it. -All right, all right! 90 00:06:59,713 --> 00:07:00,755 All right. 91 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:05,296 So, book me a genius, but cheap. That juke box will cost me a fortune. 92 00:07:05,380 --> 00:07:07,838 I shouldn't be doing this, but for an old friend... 93 00:07:07,921 --> 00:07:12,463 You can do anything you like with me, can't you, Leon? Just anything. 94 00:07:13,546 --> 00:07:15,630 Well, I must be out of my mind. 95 00:07:18,630 --> 00:07:22,796 -Want to come upstairs, dear? -Now, Penelope, do you mind? 96 00:07:23,630 --> 00:07:27,171 Johnny, I'm sorry, I'm getting so short-sighted. 97 00:07:27,296 --> 00:07:29,421 In your business, it's better you don't see. 98 00:07:33,546 --> 00:07:36,505 -Good evening, my little Chinese rose. -Wotcha, Johnny. 99 00:07:37,505 --> 00:07:41,338 -And what teenage folly are they up to? -Just started Historical Honeys. 100 00:07:41,421 --> 00:07:42,963 (JAZZY LOCH LOMOND) 101 00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,171 (MUSIC STOPS) 102 00:08:21,005 --> 00:08:24,963 Now, if you boys were good at school and studied history carefully, 103 00:08:25,046 --> 00:08:27,796 you'll remember tales of bygone ages. 104 00:08:27,880 --> 00:08:32,630 Let us turn back history's pages, study scenes of dirty plot. 105 00:08:32,713 --> 00:08:35,171 In those days, gosh, they had the lot! 106 00:08:35,255 --> 00:08:38,546 First, Mary Queen of Scots in kiltie. 107 00:08:38,630 --> 00:08:39,671 (PROJECTOR CLANKING) 108 00:08:39,880 --> 00:08:42,005 She of treason was found guilty. 109 00:08:42,255 --> 00:08:46,546 Then she came an awful cropper on the headsman's wicked chopper. 110 00:08:46,713 --> 00:08:49,296 Next, the Ides of March in Rome. 111 00:08:50,421 --> 00:08:52,213 And Caesar wished he'd stayed at home. 112 00:08:52,296 --> 00:08:54,338 'Cause on that day he passed away. 113 00:08:54,421 --> 00:08:57,796 With his last words, 'Get tu, Brute!' 114 00:08:58,963 --> 00:09:00,338 (MUSIC CONTINUES PLAYING) 115 00:09:02,838 --> 00:09:05,546 ♪ You can look at the goods, but don't touch 116 00:09:06,796 --> 00:09:09,546 ♪ Ah, the goods are the goods, but don't touch 117 00:09:10,546 --> 00:09:14,046 ♪ You wouldn't walk in Cartier's and touch every stone 118 00:09:14,130 --> 00:09:18,088 ♪ You wouldn't stroke a Mayfair mink that wasn't your own 119 00:09:18,171 --> 00:09:21,546 ♪ Which means unless you're serious, just leave the loot alone 120 00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:24,505 ♪ You can look at the goods, but don't touch 121 00:09:25,255 --> 00:09:28,796 ♪ You can value the stocks, but don't touch 122 00:09:29,005 --> 00:09:32,296 ♪ Though the stocks are in frocks, you don't touch 123 00:09:32,796 --> 00:09:36,046 ♪ You can't walk in the Dorchester, Savoy or the Ritz 124 00:09:36,130 --> 00:09:39,671 ♪ And open up the showcases to handle the bits 125 00:09:39,755 --> 00:09:43,255 ♪ Which means until you own the goods, don't touch the exhibits 126 00:09:43,338 --> 00:09:45,046 ♪ You can hover like an eagle 127 00:09:45,130 --> 00:09:47,130 ♪ But until you make it legal 128 00:09:47,213 --> 00:09:49,671 ♪ You can look at the goods, but don't touch ♪ 129 00:09:49,755 --> 00:09:51,046 (MUSIC PLAYING) 130 00:09:52,296 --> 00:09:53,338 (ALL APPLAUDING) 131 00:10:12,921 --> 00:10:14,171 Hello, Charlie boy. 132 00:10:15,255 --> 00:10:16,755 -(MUSIC ENDS) -(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) 133 00:10:17,046 --> 00:10:21,713 Come on, Alma! Ready, get dressed! How can you strip if you're not dressed? 134 00:10:21,796 --> 00:10:23,255 The work's ageing you, Charlie. 135 00:10:23,338 --> 00:10:25,338 Oh, it's like Smithfield Meat Market around here. 136 00:10:25,421 --> 00:10:28,463 -So you're here, then. -So I'm here, then. Kiss me properly. 137 00:10:32,546 --> 00:10:34,213 I was using my new voice tonight. Do you like it? 138 00:10:34,296 --> 00:10:35,588 It was an experience, Maisie doll. 139 00:10:35,671 --> 00:10:37,630 Doll, I wouldn't have missed it for 50% of Val Parnell. 140 00:10:37,713 --> 00:10:38,796 Undo me. 141 00:10:39,171 --> 00:10:42,130 You know, I think, um... Well, I think we might go straight home tonight, 142 00:10:42,213 --> 00:10:44,005 watch telly, have a few laughs. 143 00:10:44,088 --> 00:10:47,130 -(GIGGLING) I hadn't thought about it. -Well, don't rupture your brain! 144 00:10:47,213 --> 00:10:50,546 Oh, don't be. I'm all pathological when I'm doing a show. 145 00:10:50,713 --> 00:10:53,838 It's all those bald heads out there. It's like playing to an egg box! 146 00:10:53,921 --> 00:10:56,880 -So long as you don't lay the eggs. -I'm getting out of it soon. 147 00:10:56,963 --> 00:11:00,505 -So, at least mention my new voice. -We could both do with an early night. 148 00:11:00,588 --> 00:11:01,963 I'm dying of hunger. 149 00:11:02,046 --> 00:11:04,338 Besides, I've got our supper already cooking to death here. 150 00:11:04,505 --> 00:11:05,796 MAISIE: Sorry, Johnny. 151 00:11:05,921 --> 00:11:08,088 My teacher says I'm a new Judy Garland. 152 00:11:08,338 --> 00:11:10,088 Send me the bill for the testimonial. 153 00:11:10,171 --> 00:11:11,921 I told her to send you all the bills. 154 00:11:12,005 --> 00:11:13,671 It's nice you have so much faith in me. 155 00:11:14,255 --> 00:11:15,421 Do you want to take in the finale? 156 00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:18,546 Nothing personal, kid, but I think I need some fresh air. 157 00:11:18,630 --> 00:11:21,463 You two. You've been running nearly as long as the show. 158 00:11:21,588 --> 00:11:24,213 It's known as fidelity. And your G-string's slipped. 159 00:11:24,338 --> 00:11:25,380 Shh. 160 00:11:25,463 --> 00:11:26,671 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 161 00:11:46,588 --> 00:11:48,630 You know the trouble with nonstop review? 162 00:11:48,713 --> 00:11:50,296 People are always waiting. 163 00:11:50,380 --> 00:11:52,421 You wait for the slummers to come in, 164 00:11:52,505 --> 00:11:54,880 the slummers wait for the girls to go on stage, 165 00:11:54,963 --> 00:11:57,713 the girls wait for the slummers to go home to their wives. 166 00:11:57,796 --> 00:12:00,046 Five shows a day, non-stop, everybody's waiting. 167 00:12:00,130 --> 00:12:01,796 That's life. We all have to wait together. 168 00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:03,755 I love that Chinese philosophy. 169 00:12:04,338 --> 00:12:06,630 Here come the raincoats. You better flash those almond eyes. 170 00:12:06,880 --> 00:12:10,546 -Hello, Johnny, glad to see you. -Hi, Kakky, how's the film business? 171 00:12:10,630 --> 00:12:14,963 Ah, I have very interesting plans with Dietrich the girl, Gable the boy 172 00:12:15,046 --> 00:12:17,338 and Brando for my heavy. Good chemistry, huh? 173 00:12:17,421 --> 00:12:19,838 Now, look, Kakky, do me a favour and tap somebody else this week. 174 00:12:19,921 --> 00:12:22,088 It sparkles! Something. 175 00:12:22,171 --> 00:12:25,713 All I've gotta do, get these three people and I am back in business! 176 00:12:25,838 --> 00:12:29,463 Good, good. We'll all buy tickets. Now, where the hell is Maisie? Maisie! 177 00:12:29,546 --> 00:12:32,963 You know, I was the man who introduced the bubble bath into show business! 178 00:12:33,213 --> 00:12:36,796 -Well, the bubble's burst now, Dad. -Tell Maisie to get the lead out. 179 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:40,671 Who first bathed a girl in ass's milk? Answer me that. 180 00:12:40,755 --> 00:12:43,838 When I made The Private Life of Omar Khayyam. 181 00:12:43,921 --> 00:12:47,296 -Does 10 shillings speak? -Mmm, you'll be my associate producer. 182 00:12:47,380 --> 00:12:50,421 -Be great, be great. -Dietrich the girl, Gable the man and... 183 00:12:50,671 --> 00:12:51,838 Good night! 184 00:12:52,213 --> 00:12:54,338 So what did you do? Decide to give them another show? 185 00:12:54,421 --> 00:12:55,505 Here, carry the dinner. 186 00:12:55,588 --> 00:12:57,296 -Why can't we go out sometimes? -Maisie... 187 00:12:57,380 --> 00:12:59,005 Why can't we see a bit of life? 188 00:12:59,171 --> 00:13:00,755 Five shows a day, you see life, Maisie. 189 00:13:00,838 --> 00:13:02,796 I'm taking you home for a little light relief. 190 00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:06,171 -Johnny Jackson, I want to dance. -But you've been dancing all day! 191 00:13:06,255 --> 00:13:09,338 -I want to go to a jazz club. -Look, definitely no jazz. 192 00:13:09,421 --> 00:13:10,838 So, why're you against jazz all of a sudden? 193 00:13:10,921 --> 00:13:12,088 -Look, Mais... -It's ridiculous. 194 00:13:12,171 --> 00:13:13,921 You're making money out of these things, 195 00:13:14,005 --> 00:13:15,713 so why shouldn't we listen to 'em, occasionally? 196 00:13:15,796 --> 00:13:17,838 Maisie, why do you have to torture me? 197 00:13:17,921 --> 00:13:19,380 A woman has moods. 198 00:13:19,463 --> 00:13:21,505 But, Maisie doll, can't you listen to... 199 00:13:21,796 --> 00:13:23,838 (INSTRUMENTAL ROCK 'N' ROLL PLAYING) 200 00:14:01,255 --> 00:14:04,338 -Hi, Johnny, how's you, man? -Hallelujah! 201 00:14:26,088 --> 00:14:27,213 Johnny, I wanna dance! 202 00:14:27,296 --> 00:14:29,546 Sure, sure. I'll go and see if Arthur Murray's around some place. 203 00:14:29,796 --> 00:14:31,130 Cokes, Peps or coffee? 204 00:14:31,213 --> 00:14:34,088 One of each. We like to mix our drinks. The sky's the limit, doll! 205 00:14:34,213 --> 00:14:35,755 Well, give me a sandwich. I'm hungry. 206 00:14:35,838 --> 00:14:38,546 What, and spoil your supper? Here. Chew on this for a while. 207 00:14:38,671 --> 00:14:40,255 (CROWD CLAMOURING) 208 00:14:43,338 --> 00:14:46,880 Here he comes. If we're lucky, we'll be witness to an affray. 209 00:14:51,963 --> 00:14:54,255 -Come on. -And if I did? 210 00:14:56,380 --> 00:14:58,421 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 211 00:15:02,546 --> 00:15:04,171 And if things weren't bad enough, 212 00:15:04,255 --> 00:15:07,213 we have to pick on amateur talent night. Come on, let's go. 213 00:15:07,296 --> 00:15:09,880 Sit down. This is my night out, remember? 214 00:15:15,505 --> 00:15:16,546 (GIRLS SQUEALING) 215 00:15:31,921 --> 00:15:33,588 Oh, come on, kid, we've got homework to do. 216 00:15:33,671 --> 00:15:35,130 Sit down. 217 00:15:35,213 --> 00:15:37,421 Bad for your reputation as a manager to be seen working. 218 00:15:37,505 --> 00:15:38,588 Beast. 219 00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,338 Oh, hello. Hiya, talent. 220 00:15:40,421 --> 00:15:43,088 Beast, you shouldn't let these spare-time geniuses use your skins. 221 00:15:43,171 --> 00:15:45,588 I'm not a musician any more, I'm a wet nurse. 222 00:15:48,630 --> 00:15:49,921 ALL: One... 223 00:15:50,046 --> 00:15:52,588 Two... Three... 224 00:15:53,838 --> 00:15:55,963 Four... Five... 225 00:15:57,421 --> 00:15:59,505 Six... Seven... 226 00:16:00,630 --> 00:16:01,838 Eight! 227 00:16:01,921 --> 00:16:04,671 ♪ Well, love ain't no lady 228 00:16:05,046 --> 00:16:08,671 ♪ And love ain't no fool 229 00:16:08,755 --> 00:16:11,921 ♪ Young love is rough and tough 230 00:16:12,338 --> 00:16:17,213 ♪ And if you wanna win, you gotta play it real cool 231 00:16:18,005 --> 00:16:21,380 ♪ Yeah, love, like a fire 232 00:16:21,755 --> 00:16:24,630 ♪ Cosy and bright 233 00:16:25,338 --> 00:16:27,838 ♪ Warms you with flames of desire 234 00:16:28,380 --> 00:16:33,755 ♪ And burns you up all day and tears your heart out at night 235 00:16:34,505 --> 00:16:38,046 ♪ Oh, when her lips look real invitin' 236 00:16:38,130 --> 00:16:40,671 ♪ Brother, you're hit 237 00:16:41,088 --> 00:16:44,505 ♪ Just take it slow, oh, daddio 238 00:16:44,671 --> 00:16:47,963 ♪ You'll live it up and soon be dead 239 00:16:48,046 --> 00:16:50,421 ♪ Love is a fever 240 00:16:50,963 --> 00:16:54,088 ♪ Death in disguise 241 00:16:54,296 --> 00:16:57,546 ♪ Love has no rules for fools 242 00:16:57,630 --> 00:17:01,963 ♪ Who fall for all the lies that women tell with their eyes 243 00:17:02,046 --> 00:17:04,005 ♪ Ooh, ooh, yeah! ♪ 244 00:17:04,130 --> 00:17:05,380 (PEOPLE SHOUTING) 245 00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,421 ♪ Love is a fever 246 00:17:19,505 --> 00:17:23,171 ♪ Yeah, death in disguise 247 00:17:23,255 --> 00:17:26,588 ♪ Love has no rules for fools 248 00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:32,213 ♪ Who fall for all the lies that women tell with their eyes 249 00:17:32,296 --> 00:17:36,338 ♪ Oh, just take it slow, oh, daddio 250 00:17:36,421 --> 00:17:41,838 ♪ You'll live it up and soon be dead ♪ 251 00:17:41,963 --> 00:17:43,005 (ALL CHEERING) 252 00:17:44,255 --> 00:17:46,880 I'd say that child's got more sex than age. 253 00:17:47,005 --> 00:17:48,838 How would I know? I'm abnormally normal. 254 00:17:49,046 --> 00:17:50,713 (CHEERING CONTINUES) 255 00:17:52,421 --> 00:17:54,213 -Leon's Tom-Tom! -Say again. 256 00:17:54,380 --> 00:17:56,796 I've got the perfect setting for all this teenage violence. 257 00:17:56,880 --> 00:17:59,630 Here, you carry on with your dinner. I'll be right back. 258 00:18:02,255 --> 00:18:04,796 You, uh, strangle the old vocal cords very effectively, my boy. 259 00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:06,421 -Do what? -The old tonsil caper. 260 00:18:06,630 --> 00:18:07,921 Ah, that's nothing. 261 00:18:08,005 --> 00:18:09,755 It's the old drums I fancy. 262 00:18:09,838 --> 00:18:12,171 I got the rhythm kind of natural, like. It comes natural. 263 00:18:12,338 --> 00:18:14,046 It's that golden voice you want to cultivate. 264 00:18:14,130 --> 00:18:15,963 Any schmuck can irritate those skins. 265 00:18:16,171 --> 00:18:17,630 I wanna play drums. 266 00:18:17,713 --> 00:18:19,713 Well, um, perhaps I can arrange that for you. 267 00:18:19,796 --> 00:18:21,921 Now, look. Let's discuss it over a cool Coke. 268 00:18:22,005 --> 00:18:24,005 -Are you a teacher, then? -No, professor. 269 00:18:24,796 --> 00:18:26,880 -Got no money for lessons. -Naturally. Who has? 270 00:18:26,963 --> 00:18:28,463 -Two vintage Cokes, Elvis. -I've got one, thanks. 271 00:18:28,546 --> 00:18:31,546 Thank you and good night, Johnny Jackson. P.S., sleep well. 272 00:18:31,630 --> 00:18:35,338 Maisie, I want you to meet a talent of the first order. 273 00:18:35,546 --> 00:18:37,588 -Um, what's your name, kid? -Bert Rudge. 274 00:18:37,713 --> 00:18:40,838 -Bert Rudge, this is Maisie King. -How are you? You have the dessert. 275 00:18:40,921 --> 00:18:42,546 It's been yet another memorable evening! 276 00:18:42,671 --> 00:18:44,505 Oh, wait a minute, doll! Wait a minute. 277 00:18:44,588 --> 00:18:46,213 Here. Put your address down there. 278 00:18:46,338 --> 00:18:47,588 I'll talk to you first thing in the morning. 279 00:18:48,005 --> 00:18:50,255 I gotta go to work tomorrow morning. 280 00:18:50,338 --> 00:18:52,005 I work the Fun Fair, bottom of Frith Street. 281 00:18:52,130 --> 00:18:55,088 -What, with that golden talent? -Are you sending me up? 282 00:18:55,588 --> 00:18:57,213 -Who looks after you, kid? -Me. 283 00:18:57,380 --> 00:19:00,505 -No manager? -What, for this? I do it for kicks. 284 00:19:01,088 --> 00:19:02,838 Well, you're off sick tomorrow, son. 285 00:19:02,963 --> 00:19:04,463 You've got a great future as a singer. 286 00:19:04,671 --> 00:19:06,838 I don't want to sing, I want to play drums. 287 00:19:06,921 --> 00:19:08,838 You shall have my own personal kit. 288 00:19:08,921 --> 00:19:10,380 I'll see you at your home first thing in the morning. 289 00:19:10,463 --> 00:19:11,796 Oh, and by the way, 290 00:19:12,505 --> 00:19:15,588 your first lesson as a professional, no more singing for free. 291 00:19:15,713 --> 00:19:16,796 Oh, I've left my dinner behind. 292 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:19,213 You carried me away, kid! Carried me away! 293 00:19:21,921 --> 00:19:24,171 And how's the most unavailable strip in town? 294 00:19:24,255 --> 00:19:26,338 Still doing her own stripping. Thank you. 295 00:19:26,463 --> 00:19:27,963 Get back to your washboard, scrubber. 296 00:19:28,046 --> 00:19:29,338 I'm switching you to an expresso. 297 00:19:29,421 --> 00:19:30,963 -Oh, no... -Oh, yes. Get. 298 00:19:31,713 --> 00:19:33,505 You owe me money. Work for it. 299 00:19:33,588 --> 00:19:36,796 Look, Maisie doll, I'm always waiting for you while you're singing, don't I? 300 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,463 So, you can wait for me while I'm working. 301 00:19:38,546 --> 00:19:40,130 All right, but let's go somewhere. 302 00:19:40,213 --> 00:19:43,338 We're going! Home! And your breath smells of garlic. 303 00:19:46,755 --> 00:19:49,380 The pickled cucumber's leaking all over my hand. Sorry. 304 00:19:49,463 --> 00:19:50,796 My favourite perfume. 305 00:19:51,255 --> 00:19:52,630 Salt beef. 306 00:19:52,713 --> 00:19:55,713 Are we always going to celebrate our lover's tiffs with delicatessen? 307 00:19:55,796 --> 00:19:57,255 You know caviar gives you a rash. 308 00:19:57,338 --> 00:19:59,838 Leon's sandwiches are the worst in Soho. 309 00:20:00,338 --> 00:20:01,838 That fur isn't the best either. 310 00:20:01,921 --> 00:20:03,755 You know, as soon as I make my first million... 311 00:20:03,838 --> 00:20:05,880 -Yes? -I'm gonna have it cleaned for you. 312 00:20:14,630 --> 00:20:16,171 All right, so, tell me. 313 00:20:16,671 --> 00:20:19,921 Tell you what? We're back in camp, far from the Indians. Relax. 314 00:20:20,005 --> 00:20:21,213 I don't want to relax. 315 00:20:21,296 --> 00:20:23,338 I'm still waiting to hear what you thought of my new voice. 316 00:20:23,421 --> 00:20:25,171 Mmm, I think I made the right choice. (SNIFFS) 317 00:20:25,255 --> 00:20:26,463 Delicious. Still lukewarm. 318 00:20:26,546 --> 00:20:28,088 -Johnny... -You're a lucky kid! 319 00:20:28,171 --> 00:20:31,338 -I'd like your opinion! -Black Velvet without the champagne. 320 00:20:31,421 --> 00:20:33,213 I want an honest opinion. 321 00:20:34,005 --> 00:20:35,171 Relax. 322 00:20:36,296 --> 00:20:38,421 I'll tell you. No charge. 323 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:39,755 I'm not in the mood. 324 00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:42,046 -I want a frank opinion. -So take your things off. 325 00:20:44,005 --> 00:20:47,171 How can I give you an honest opinion while you're dressed? 326 00:20:50,713 --> 00:20:52,005 Maisie... 327 00:20:53,338 --> 00:20:56,588 Maisie, did we walk 'round London with you like that? 328 00:20:56,671 --> 00:20:59,171 Well, there's not much point in putting my things on at the theatre 329 00:20:59,255 --> 00:21:00,838 if I've gotta to take 'em all off again, here. 330 00:21:00,921 --> 00:21:03,505 -Supposing you had an accident. -You're the only accident I ever had. 331 00:21:03,588 --> 00:21:04,838 Oh, I love your love talk. 332 00:21:04,921 --> 00:21:06,880 No, I don't want a man, I want a manager. 333 00:21:07,213 --> 00:21:09,213 Tell me first what you thought of my number. 334 00:21:09,296 --> 00:21:10,796 Well... 335 00:21:11,755 --> 00:21:15,463 Well, Maisie... You're a highly talented girl, but... 336 00:21:15,546 --> 00:21:17,713 -You didn't like it. -Well... 337 00:21:18,546 --> 00:21:21,588 -It's a small voice, Maisie. -It's getting bigger every lesson! 338 00:21:22,046 --> 00:21:23,338 Well, yes, but, um... 339 00:21:23,421 --> 00:21:26,171 Oh, be like me, doll, give up gracefully. 340 00:21:26,255 --> 00:21:27,796 Thanks for nothing, pig! 341 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:30,213 (MUTTERING) 342 00:21:31,963 --> 00:21:34,755 Look at that bed! How can you live like this? 343 00:21:34,838 --> 00:21:36,255 Come on, let's make it. 344 00:21:37,171 --> 00:21:39,046 Now, look, Maisie, there's no point making it... 345 00:21:39,130 --> 00:21:40,630 I said, make it! 346 00:21:41,380 --> 00:21:43,505 Don't act like we're married. It spoils everything. 347 00:21:43,588 --> 00:21:46,296 Nobody else in the world is so pathological about the word marriage. 348 00:21:46,380 --> 00:21:47,588 Come, straighten these. 349 00:21:47,671 --> 00:21:50,713 Well, haven't I been faithful to you for two years? As far as you know. 350 00:21:50,838 --> 00:21:52,380 You want the Tin Pan Alley award? 351 00:21:52,463 --> 00:21:55,005 I'm only faithful because I'm not married to you. 352 00:21:55,088 --> 00:21:57,171 Only a married man is unfaithful, Maisie. 353 00:21:57,255 --> 00:21:59,546 The sheet comes before the blanket, nowadays. 354 00:21:59,671 --> 00:22:02,338 -So, my voice doesn't move you? -Oh, sure I'm moved, doll, 355 00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:04,046 but this is no playground. 356 00:22:05,421 --> 00:22:06,546 It's a jungle. 357 00:22:06,880 --> 00:22:09,588 And it eats up pretty little birds like you in great quantities. 358 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:11,505 They get swallowed up. 359 00:22:11,796 --> 00:22:14,213 Nobody ever knows they've gone, nobody ever misses them. 360 00:22:15,046 --> 00:22:18,005 Are you trying to tell me, in your tender way, you'd miss me? 361 00:22:22,338 --> 00:22:24,421 If you don't know already, how can I tell you? 362 00:22:24,921 --> 00:22:27,588 You've got a wonderful way of not saying a thing. 363 00:22:29,046 --> 00:22:30,963 I don't say it because maybe I'd mean it. 364 00:22:31,921 --> 00:22:34,713 And anything I mean, I'm not foolhardy enough to say. 365 00:22:35,963 --> 00:22:37,921 Can't you say it just once? 366 00:22:38,421 --> 00:22:41,130 Say what you mean in this jungle, and you're a dead jackal. 367 00:22:42,713 --> 00:22:45,755 How did I ever tangle with you? You're not my girlhood dream at all! 368 00:22:45,838 --> 00:22:46,880 I want you to know that. 369 00:22:46,963 --> 00:22:49,171 -Now, Maisie... -Give me the pillow! 370 00:22:49,255 --> 00:22:53,213 All I'm saying is, enjoy your lessons, but don't expect too much, 371 00:22:53,296 --> 00:22:55,463 because practically nobody's a star, Maisie. 372 00:22:55,546 --> 00:22:56,630 Including most stars. 373 00:22:56,713 --> 00:22:58,380 What's with this Bert kid, then? 374 00:22:58,963 --> 00:23:01,921 Well, this boy's our stake in the future of British show business, 375 00:23:02,005 --> 00:23:03,296 and I'm gonna manage him. 376 00:23:04,630 --> 00:23:07,005 I'm just not with you the way your mind works. 377 00:23:07,130 --> 00:23:10,088 You're always finding talent that turns out to be untalented. 378 00:23:10,171 --> 00:23:12,255 I just knew, against my own intelligence, 379 00:23:12,338 --> 00:23:14,588 which I insult every day of my working life, 380 00:23:14,671 --> 00:23:15,963 that one of these boys would make it. 381 00:23:16,296 --> 00:23:17,630 But not me. 382 00:23:17,713 --> 00:23:20,546 Look, Maisie, I've only got a very small organisation. 383 00:23:21,005 --> 00:23:23,421 One artiste is all I can handle at a time. 384 00:23:23,630 --> 00:23:25,755 You just don't think of me that way, do you? 385 00:23:25,838 --> 00:23:27,213 Well, I do that way, Maisie. 386 00:23:27,796 --> 00:23:29,005 But not that way. 387 00:23:30,046 --> 00:23:33,130 Well, at least he can't give you what I can give you, I hope. 388 00:23:33,338 --> 00:23:34,421 Hope justified! 389 00:23:36,713 --> 00:23:39,213 You see what a waste of time it is making a bed? 390 00:23:45,713 --> 00:23:47,213 -Cor, look! Who's he? -(SHOUTING) 391 00:23:48,380 --> 00:23:50,088 -Boys, boys... -(BOYS CLAMOURING) 392 00:24:06,546 --> 00:24:07,755 (DOORBELL RINGING) 393 00:24:12,505 --> 00:24:13,755 -Yes? -Mrs Rudge? 394 00:24:13,838 --> 00:24:15,463 -What if? -Is your son, Bert, at home? 395 00:24:15,546 --> 00:24:16,630 -No. -No? 396 00:24:16,713 --> 00:24:18,130 What's he been doing? I'll kill him! 397 00:24:18,213 --> 00:24:19,796 No, no need for violence, Mrs Rudge. 398 00:24:19,880 --> 00:24:22,505 I bring tidings of joy to you and the entire Rudge tribe. 399 00:24:22,588 --> 00:24:24,046 Hey, what is all this? 400 00:24:24,130 --> 00:24:25,255 -Who's he? -Where's young Bert? 401 00:24:25,338 --> 00:24:27,255 Nicer type of probation officer these days. 402 00:24:27,338 --> 00:24:29,088 -Hiya, guv. -Well, there's my boy! 403 00:24:29,171 --> 00:24:30,296 Now, you listen to me, mister, 404 00:24:30,380 --> 00:24:32,963 he don't tell me what he gets up to at nights hanging around the West End, 405 00:24:33,046 --> 00:24:34,088 and I don't want to know. 406 00:24:34,171 --> 00:24:35,921 Don't speak to the gentleman like that, Mum. 407 00:24:36,005 --> 00:24:37,380 He's the bloke I told you about. 408 00:24:37,463 --> 00:24:39,213 Gonna be my manager. He's gonna make me. 409 00:24:39,296 --> 00:24:40,588 Make you what? 410 00:24:40,671 --> 00:24:42,421 -Someone people dig. -That's it, Mrs Rudge. 411 00:24:42,505 --> 00:24:43,588 Mmm? 412 00:24:43,671 --> 00:24:45,838 Our boy is gonna be the idol of teenagers everywhere. 413 00:24:45,921 --> 00:24:48,130 Recordings, variety bookings. 414 00:24:48,213 --> 00:24:50,296 Why, he'll even open up shoe shops for cash. 415 00:24:50,380 --> 00:24:51,838 And it only requires your signature. 416 00:24:51,921 --> 00:24:54,005 I ain't signing. It's all a swindle. 417 00:24:54,088 --> 00:24:56,380 Whenever I ever signed anything, it's always been a swindle for me. 418 00:24:56,463 --> 00:24:57,505 Hello? 419 00:24:57,588 --> 00:24:59,005 I'd like you to meet my new guv'nor, Dad. 420 00:24:59,088 --> 00:25:00,171 I'll have a bitter. 421 00:25:01,005 --> 00:25:03,796 The pleasure is mine, Mr Rudge, and congratulations. 422 00:25:03,880 --> 00:25:05,380 And perhaps you'd prefer to sign. 423 00:25:05,838 --> 00:25:09,588 -Oh, is he the man from the... -Success, Mr Rudge, any moment now. 424 00:25:10,005 --> 00:25:12,421 You have produced one of the major talents in Britain today. 425 00:25:12,546 --> 00:25:15,046 Yes, you, by marrying Mrs Rudge and begetting Herbert, 426 00:25:15,130 --> 00:25:16,755 have contributed in no small measure 427 00:25:16,838 --> 00:25:19,171 to the pleasure of hundreds of little people like yourselves. 428 00:25:19,255 --> 00:25:20,380 Oh, poor bastards. 429 00:25:20,463 --> 00:25:23,046 All we need is the signature and a peep into the boy's birth certificate. 430 00:25:23,130 --> 00:25:24,171 Don't you dare! 431 00:25:24,255 --> 00:25:27,171 Now, Mrs Rudge, when did you say the lad was born? 432 00:25:27,255 --> 00:25:28,838 I didn't. And mind your own bloody business. 433 00:25:28,921 --> 00:25:30,630 It's nobody's business when he was born! 434 00:25:30,796 --> 00:25:32,046 Now, look, Mrs Rudge. 435 00:25:32,130 --> 00:25:33,296 It's just in the case of minors, 436 00:25:33,380 --> 00:25:34,838 we have to get things right for the book. 437 00:25:34,921 --> 00:25:37,588 I don't want no nosy parkers nosing 'round my marriage business! 438 00:25:37,671 --> 00:25:39,296 Dad, tell him to belt up and get out! 439 00:25:39,421 --> 00:25:40,921 JOHNNY: But think what a difference this will make 440 00:25:41,005 --> 00:25:42,463 to your standard of living, Mrs Rudge. 441 00:25:42,546 --> 00:25:44,213 -Here you are, handsome. -Oh, lovely! 442 00:25:44,296 --> 00:25:45,713 -Here, give me that back! -Now, Mrs Rudge... 443 00:25:45,796 --> 00:25:46,880 Oh, that's none of your business! 444 00:25:46,963 --> 00:25:49,671 But I'm his guiding light, his helping hand, his mentor. 445 00:25:51,005 --> 00:25:52,130 I see. 446 00:25:53,713 --> 00:25:56,255 Ah-ha. Oh, I follow. 447 00:25:56,921 --> 00:26:00,046 My dear Mrs Rudge, it can happen to the best of us. 448 00:26:00,588 --> 00:26:02,963 My own mother. Need I say more? 449 00:26:03,421 --> 00:26:06,171 That's right, Myrtle, you always was too touchy about... 450 00:26:06,296 --> 00:26:08,755 You, shut up! You had your say years ago! 451 00:26:08,838 --> 00:26:10,713 You're his mum, I'm his old man. 452 00:26:11,255 --> 00:26:12,838 It's all that matters, ain't it, mate? 453 00:26:12,921 --> 00:26:15,171 This just makes for an extra bond between us. 454 00:26:15,255 --> 00:26:16,838 We don't want all that shouting all over the place. 455 00:26:16,921 --> 00:26:18,630 But you're the only one that's shouting, Mrs Rudge. 456 00:26:18,713 --> 00:26:21,130 -Oh, yes. Definitely, yes. -You belt up! 457 00:26:21,213 --> 00:26:22,296 So, come on, now. 458 00:26:22,713 --> 00:26:25,630 There's no need for self-consciousness amongst friends. 459 00:26:25,713 --> 00:26:27,963 Just sign this little go-ahead to handle Herbert's career. 460 00:26:28,046 --> 00:26:29,380 -Why should I? -Where the dots are, Mrs Rudge. 461 00:26:29,463 --> 00:26:31,505 That little swine's never brought me more than two quid a week! 462 00:26:31,588 --> 00:26:34,005 -Why should I do anything for him? -Cor, haven't I got expenses? 463 00:26:34,088 --> 00:26:35,421 -I've got a lot of expenses. -What about me then? 464 00:26:35,505 --> 00:26:37,255 What do I got for your 18 years except expenses? 465 00:26:37,380 --> 00:26:39,005 How much do you think this haircut costs? Peanuts? 466 00:26:39,088 --> 00:26:40,213 Twelve bob a week, I tell you. 467 00:26:40,296 --> 00:26:42,546 -Down, boy. -Well, she'll always on at me. Always. 468 00:26:43,338 --> 00:26:46,005 This isn't pie in the sky we're talking about. 469 00:26:46,088 --> 00:26:48,046 Why, you'll even see your boy on television. 470 00:26:48,130 --> 00:26:49,838 The beloved face of your own little Bert 471 00:26:49,921 --> 00:26:52,755 reflected in the hot cod's eye which watches every home in Britain! 472 00:26:52,838 --> 00:26:54,796 -We got no money for television! -Sign, madam, 473 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,421 and you will have a contemporary home 474 00:26:56,505 --> 00:26:58,296 fit for British voters to watch television in. 475 00:26:58,380 --> 00:26:59,713 How do I know what all this mean, all this 476 00:26:59,796 --> 00:27:01,255 whereas, where if and where from. 477 00:27:01,338 --> 00:27:02,421 I don't wanna know about any of that. 478 00:27:02,505 --> 00:27:03,921 It's an insurance for your future. 479 00:27:04,005 --> 00:27:06,005 Have kids. Go on, have kids and get done! 480 00:27:06,088 --> 00:27:07,255 I don't know what we have 'em for! 481 00:27:07,338 --> 00:27:08,421 He's a good boy, Mrs Rudge. 482 00:27:08,505 --> 00:27:10,088 He'll look after you fine, if you'll just sign. 483 00:27:10,171 --> 00:27:11,713 Have kids... I've got this drunk. 484 00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:14,338 He can't have two pennies in his pocket without being a good-time Charlie 485 00:27:14,421 --> 00:27:16,505 with drinks all 'round for every Tom, Dick and Harry. 486 00:27:16,588 --> 00:27:18,713 -(YELLING INDISTINCTLY) -Just sign... 487 00:27:18,796 --> 00:27:19,796 And that Edna there. 488 00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:22,338 Always after the boys. Where's she going to end up? And him! 489 00:27:22,421 --> 00:27:23,671 Oh, stow it, stow it! 490 00:27:23,755 --> 00:27:25,755 This is all very highly embarrassing to a stranger... 491 00:27:25,838 --> 00:27:28,171 I don't know. Definitely, I don't know why we have kids for! 492 00:27:28,255 --> 00:27:29,880 I'll tell you what you had kids for. 493 00:27:30,005 --> 00:27:31,338 So you can bleed 'em white! 494 00:27:31,671 --> 00:27:33,755 -Call yourself a mother? -Don't you talk to me like that. 495 00:27:33,838 --> 00:27:35,005 (ARGUING) 496 00:27:35,213 --> 00:27:38,213 -Come on, you talented little Bertie. -And don't come back! 497 00:27:38,546 --> 00:27:40,838 -(CHUCKLES) Poor bastard. -(DOOR SLAMMING) 498 00:27:43,088 --> 00:27:46,296 Look, kid, you don't have to go back to the Fun Fair. 499 00:27:46,380 --> 00:27:49,880 We can fix up a contract over a nice cup of hot, milky coffee. 500 00:27:49,963 --> 00:27:51,380 Well, I'll just have a few shots. 501 00:27:51,463 --> 00:27:53,505 You know, it sort of relieves my feelings. 502 00:27:53,588 --> 00:27:55,171 All right, be my guest. 503 00:27:56,463 --> 00:27:58,755 Hey, Bert. Your old man's been around. 504 00:27:58,963 --> 00:28:00,380 Oh, stow the old man! 505 00:28:00,463 --> 00:28:02,546 Look, the kid's a little off colour this morning. 506 00:28:02,713 --> 00:28:06,005 -Give him a dozen shots. -But he shoots off more than he sells. 507 00:28:06,088 --> 00:28:09,588 Who cares about a few legalities? Good shot. 508 00:28:09,671 --> 00:28:10,713 After all, 509 00:28:10,838 --> 00:28:13,630 the relationship between a manager and artiste is one of friendship. 510 00:28:13,713 --> 00:28:14,755 (CERAMIC SHATTERING) 511 00:28:14,880 --> 00:28:17,880 You're a great shot, kid. Takes me back to my few weeks in the Guards. 512 00:28:19,255 --> 00:28:21,546 So, um... So, we hand in the old resignation, 513 00:28:21,630 --> 00:28:23,421 turn our backs on all of the fun at the Fun Fair, 514 00:28:23,505 --> 00:28:26,713 and we go along to Leon's Expresso. Are you listening to me, Bertie? 515 00:28:27,755 --> 00:28:30,421 That's better. I guess I feel all right now. 516 00:28:31,296 --> 00:28:32,713 You can tell the guv I'm jacking it in. 517 00:28:32,838 --> 00:28:36,921 Oh, your courage will be rewarded, my boy. Just sign here. 518 00:28:37,671 --> 00:28:39,213 Now, let's get this straight. 519 00:28:39,296 --> 00:28:41,880 Are you offering me money for bashing the bongos? 520 00:28:42,005 --> 00:28:44,755 And your singing. Don't forget the real gold part of your talent. 521 00:28:44,880 --> 00:28:47,130 -So, when do I get the money? -You're holding up business. 522 00:28:47,213 --> 00:28:49,171 -This is business! -It is? 523 00:28:49,255 --> 00:28:53,588 Now, look, my boy, we'll start you off modestly on the expresso circuit. 524 00:28:54,046 --> 00:28:55,838 A lovely, loud little joint, just around the corner. 525 00:28:55,921 --> 00:28:57,005 We'll crash off from there. 526 00:28:57,088 --> 00:28:58,921 England's only chance of getting to the moon next. 527 00:28:59,296 --> 00:29:01,671 Sign here, you talented little child. 528 00:29:01,755 --> 00:29:03,005 Do I get the money now? 529 00:29:03,130 --> 00:29:04,421 Eventually. On this five-year contract, 530 00:29:04,505 --> 00:29:06,671 -we go 50-50, all right? -Fifty what? 531 00:29:06,755 --> 00:29:08,671 All right, if that's the way you feel about it, 50-50. 532 00:29:08,755 --> 00:29:10,463 -Shake. -So, how much do I get? 533 00:29:10,921 --> 00:29:15,588 Look, from now on, half of everything you earn is going to go to you. 534 00:29:17,921 --> 00:29:18,963 Bert Rudge. 535 00:29:19,296 --> 00:29:24,213 Hmm, a nice, honest, square name, but just a teeny bit uncommercial. 536 00:29:24,296 --> 00:29:28,005 Now, let me see. Uh, Crasher, Basher, Banger... 537 00:29:28,088 --> 00:29:31,630 I've got it! Bongo! Bongo Herbert! 538 00:29:31,880 --> 00:29:35,046 There we are, all signed and witnessed. 539 00:29:35,380 --> 00:29:38,380 -Witnessed? Who's the witness, then? -I'm the witness, then. 540 00:29:38,921 --> 00:29:40,838 Maisie King? Is that you? 541 00:29:41,421 --> 00:29:42,463 Maisie's a friend, 542 00:29:42,630 --> 00:29:45,213 who, not knowing how to write, gives me the use of her signature. 543 00:29:45,296 --> 00:29:47,046 What will I tell the guv'nor, then? 544 00:29:47,421 --> 00:29:48,713 Tell him to put up a plaque. 545 00:29:49,130 --> 00:29:51,671 "Bongo Herbert worked here." Come on, kid. 546 00:29:55,046 --> 00:29:57,755 First, Mary Queen of Scots in kiltie. 547 00:29:58,796 --> 00:30:01,421 -All right, where are you, Mary? -(PROJECTOR CLANKING) 548 00:30:02,755 --> 00:30:04,213 Hold it! Hold it! 549 00:30:05,213 --> 00:30:08,130 And who's the historical expert who thought up that combination? 550 00:30:08,546 --> 00:30:09,921 Well, it's not easy, Charlie. 551 00:30:10,005 --> 00:30:11,921 They just sent along a box of assorted tops. 552 00:30:13,171 --> 00:30:16,588 You didn't expect to go on television in the buff, did ya? 553 00:30:17,213 --> 00:30:19,713 This is a decent, respectable country. 554 00:30:20,213 --> 00:30:22,338 You wouldn't talk to us like that if we had a union. 555 00:30:22,421 --> 00:30:25,755 -Oh, belt up and break for coffee! -GIRLS: Great! 556 00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:29,171 Hello, you. 557 00:30:29,338 --> 00:30:32,296 -Hello, star-maker! -Hail, Caesar! Oh, Maisie. 558 00:30:32,380 --> 00:30:33,463 Hi, Johnny. Do you want some coffee? 559 00:30:33,546 --> 00:30:35,463 Hey, what's all the overdress for? Royal visit? 560 00:30:35,546 --> 00:30:37,588 We've got 10 seconds on some television show, 561 00:30:37,671 --> 00:30:38,755 so we're going straight. 562 00:30:38,838 --> 00:30:40,088 Well, don't let it become a habit. 563 00:30:40,171 --> 00:30:42,505 Now, look, Maisie, I want you to make a telephone call for me. 564 00:30:42,588 --> 00:30:43,671 Why can't you make it? 565 00:30:43,755 --> 00:30:46,130 Because I won't be here. I'll be at Garrick Records. 566 00:30:46,213 --> 00:30:50,421 Which is where I want you to telephone me at 11:45 precisely and ask for me. 567 00:30:50,505 --> 00:30:52,171 But you know it's against the rules to use the telephone. 568 00:30:52,255 --> 00:30:54,796 So give Charlie half-a-crown for his cut in the infringement. 569 00:30:54,880 --> 00:30:57,588 -What do you want me to say? -At 11:45 precisely, 570 00:30:57,838 --> 00:31:00,505 I want you to say, 'This is HMV. 571 00:31:00,588 --> 00:31:03,130 'Could we please speak to Bongo Herbert's manager?' 572 00:31:03,255 --> 00:31:04,421 Repeat the message. 573 00:31:04,505 --> 00:31:07,713 This is HMV. Could we please speak to Bongo Herbert's manager? 574 00:31:07,796 --> 00:31:09,046 Who's Bongo Herbert? 575 00:31:09,130 --> 00:31:11,380 I've just signed him today. He's that great kid we heard last night. 576 00:31:11,463 --> 00:31:12,505 Fast work, eh? 577 00:31:12,755 --> 00:31:14,296 What's all this HMV jazz? 578 00:31:14,588 --> 00:31:18,088 Now, look, Maisie, you get on with your act and I'll get on with mine. 579 00:31:19,463 --> 00:31:20,921 11:45 on the dot. 580 00:31:26,171 --> 00:31:28,255 (ROCK 'N' ROLL MUSIC PLAYING) 581 00:31:38,171 --> 00:31:39,755 -Mr Mayer. -Yes? 582 00:31:39,838 --> 00:31:42,505 There's someone to see you. Mr Johnny Jackson. 583 00:31:42,588 --> 00:31:45,463 -Johnny Jackson? -Used to arrange music for you. 584 00:31:45,546 --> 00:31:49,255 -Says it's urgent. Would you see him? -Normally, no. 585 00:31:49,755 --> 00:31:52,921 But at this moment, a pleasure! 586 00:31:58,588 --> 00:32:02,213 Mr Mayer, how are you keeping? 587 00:32:02,338 --> 00:32:04,921 I'm surviving, Johnny, but it's against my own nature. 588 00:32:05,421 --> 00:32:06,588 Are you looking for work? 589 00:32:06,671 --> 00:32:08,755 Work? Haven't you heard? I'm a manager. 590 00:32:08,838 --> 00:32:10,505 Is the business so short of managers, 591 00:32:10,588 --> 00:32:12,421 it has to drag good musicians away from their instruments? 592 00:32:12,505 --> 00:32:16,380 -Who wants to listen to good musicians? -I want to listen to good musicians. 593 00:32:16,796 --> 00:32:21,005 Funny to think, Johnny, that you and Aida are both things of the past. 594 00:32:21,088 --> 00:32:22,713 That's what happens if you're modern in your time. 595 00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:23,963 Not bad, eh? 596 00:32:24,171 --> 00:32:25,421 Hmm, she'll do well. 597 00:32:25,505 --> 00:32:27,296 She's got gloss, schmaltz, 598 00:32:27,380 --> 00:32:29,546 and she carries her jewelled mink as to a manor born. 599 00:32:29,630 --> 00:32:32,588 Just booked her show for television. That's what it is today. 600 00:32:32,921 --> 00:32:35,213 -So, what's on your mind, Johnny? -I've got a boy. 601 00:32:35,505 --> 00:32:37,880 Oi, please, Johnny, not you also. 602 00:32:38,505 --> 00:32:40,046 Everybody's got a boy! 603 00:32:40,130 --> 00:32:41,380 Instead of eating their fingernails today, 604 00:32:41,463 --> 00:32:43,005 they wear them down with the guitar. 605 00:32:43,088 --> 00:32:44,796 But this boy's got a completely new gimmick. 606 00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,755 Yes, he plays the guitar with his nose. 607 00:32:47,255 --> 00:32:48,296 All right! 608 00:32:48,463 --> 00:32:50,546 All right, so I bring you a talent because you're an old friend, 609 00:32:50,630 --> 00:32:52,046 and you treat me like schnorrer! 610 00:32:52,130 --> 00:32:54,130 Look, Johnny, for the sake of our old association, 611 00:32:54,213 --> 00:32:56,130 maybe I could find you a few arrangements to do. 612 00:32:56,588 --> 00:33:00,505 Mr Mayer, I'm not asking for charity, I'm offering you Bongo Herbert! 613 00:33:00,588 --> 00:33:03,338 -What for a name, Bongo Herbert? -All the big companies are after him. 614 00:33:03,421 --> 00:33:05,421 Why, Nixa, Philips, even HMV! 615 00:33:05,505 --> 00:33:07,963 Sure, sure, sure. And he'll be in the next Command Performance? 616 00:33:08,046 --> 00:33:09,421 -All right. -Do me a personal favour. 617 00:33:09,505 --> 00:33:10,505 That's I'm trying to do. 618 00:33:10,588 --> 00:33:12,963 I've got so many of these young schmendricks. 619 00:33:14,963 --> 00:33:17,046 All right, you made your point. 620 00:33:17,130 --> 00:33:19,130 Nice to have seen you again, Mr Mayer. 621 00:33:20,088 --> 00:33:23,463 -What do you make the time? -Almost 11:45. 622 00:33:23,546 --> 00:33:26,463 Thank you, Johnny. All the best. Go in health. 623 00:33:27,671 --> 00:33:29,255 -Stomach tablets? -Yes. New kind. 624 00:33:29,338 --> 00:33:31,338 Have one. 40% more pepsin. 625 00:33:31,463 --> 00:33:34,088 Listening to all this dreck has made me a double ulcer man. 626 00:33:34,213 --> 00:33:35,546 I know how you feel, I got the same trouble. 627 00:33:35,630 --> 00:33:37,505 -You're an ulcer man? -Am I an ulcer man! 628 00:33:37,588 --> 00:33:39,171 Good. Now you begin to sound like you're a manager. 629 00:33:39,255 --> 00:33:41,046 I can taste the extra pepsin! 630 00:33:41,130 --> 00:33:43,130 Sorry not to do business on this occasion. But who knows... 631 00:33:43,255 --> 00:33:45,088 -(PHONE RINGING) -The telephone, Mr Mayer. 632 00:33:45,171 --> 00:33:47,838 Never mind the phone. To see an old friend! 633 00:33:47,921 --> 00:33:49,088 Could be important. 634 00:33:49,171 --> 00:33:51,588 What's more important than friendship? 635 00:33:51,671 --> 00:33:53,505 Well, something could have dropped out of the top 10. 636 00:33:54,171 --> 00:33:55,505 -Top 10? -Top 10! 637 00:33:58,046 --> 00:34:00,005 -Who is it? -HMV, Mr Mayer. 638 00:34:00,421 --> 00:34:02,630 They want Bongo Herbert's manager. 639 00:34:02,713 --> 00:34:06,005 I'm sorry, Mr Mayer, but, well, things are popping. You don't mind? 640 00:34:06,088 --> 00:34:08,338 -It's a pleasure. -Thank you. Hello? 641 00:34:08,671 --> 00:34:10,838 Johnny Jackson speaking, Bongo Herbert's manager. 642 00:34:11,088 --> 00:34:14,296 -We're calling about Bongo Herbert. -Oh, yes, that's right. 643 00:34:15,130 --> 00:34:17,546 Well, I can't give you a decision right now. 644 00:34:18,380 --> 00:34:21,046 Well, you see, I've got a deal pending for Bongo elsewhere. 645 00:34:22,130 --> 00:34:24,921 Well, of course your offer's very attractive, but, uh... 646 00:34:25,463 --> 00:34:26,796 Well, we'll be in touch. 647 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:29,088 And thank you for calling. Goodbye. 648 00:34:30,213 --> 00:34:32,005 Again, marvellous to see you, Mr Mayer. 649 00:34:32,088 --> 00:34:34,213 I'm sorry we can't do anything. Maybe next time. 650 00:34:34,296 --> 00:34:36,505 Just a minute. Sit down, please. 651 00:34:38,255 --> 00:34:41,505 -I don't want to waste your time. -So, where is this boy of yours? 652 00:34:41,671 --> 00:34:43,963 You want to see him in his right setting, Mr Mayer. 653 00:34:44,046 --> 00:34:46,296 All right, so bring him along and empty us a cradle. 654 00:34:46,380 --> 00:34:48,380 He's opening a new place tonight at the Tom-Tom. 655 00:34:48,463 --> 00:34:49,630 Give yourself an outing. 656 00:34:49,713 --> 00:34:52,338 -Oi. All right. -Do you good. 657 00:34:52,921 --> 00:34:54,921 As you leave, kindly switch on Aida, please. 658 00:34:55,005 --> 00:34:56,421 With pleasure, Mr Mayer. 659 00:34:57,296 --> 00:35:00,463 -(INSTRUMENTAL ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) -(RHYTHMIC CLATTERING) 660 00:35:19,005 --> 00:35:21,421 -The kid's great, isn't he, Leon? -Yeah. 661 00:35:21,546 --> 00:35:25,046 I get all my genuine Italian peasant-style cups and saucers broke. 662 00:35:25,463 --> 00:35:28,380 -Oh, two free cups, Leon. -You've already had six free cups! 663 00:35:28,463 --> 00:35:31,046 -From now on, you pay! -We're doing great business, boy. 664 00:35:31,130 --> 00:35:35,296 It's a free cappuccino to each new customer, isn't it, Leon? 665 00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:36,671 What's so new about you? 666 00:35:36,755 --> 00:35:40,421 I got a great idea for a great picture. 667 00:35:40,505 --> 00:35:42,005 Kakky, Kakky, the coffee's free, 668 00:35:42,088 --> 00:35:43,796 you don't have to give a performance for it. 669 00:35:43,963 --> 00:35:47,838 Not at the theatre, Johnny, to see your girl televisionised? 670 00:35:48,338 --> 00:35:50,630 Sure. Um, it's tonight, isn't it? 671 00:35:50,713 --> 00:35:52,546 Personally, I would never compromise myself 672 00:35:52,630 --> 00:35:54,296 by making pictures for television. 673 00:35:54,380 --> 00:35:55,505 I'll be back. 674 00:35:56,463 --> 00:36:01,463 Hey, Johnny! Hey, Johnny, wait a minute! Why them and not me? 675 00:36:01,796 --> 00:36:03,796 Why can't I get my Tom-Tom on Television? 676 00:36:03,880 --> 00:36:05,838 Strip, and I'll guarantee you a spot. 677 00:36:05,921 --> 00:36:07,838 (RHYTHMIC CLATTERING OF CUPS) 678 00:36:09,796 --> 00:36:11,505 Stop it! Stop it! 679 00:36:13,005 --> 00:36:15,921 From now on, all free coffee must be paid for! 680 00:36:24,338 --> 00:36:25,588 Here, what's the programme? 681 00:36:25,796 --> 00:36:27,755 Television strip with mother? 682 00:36:27,838 --> 00:36:29,588 It's a documentary for Cosmorama. 683 00:36:29,671 --> 00:36:32,505 What, a documentary at the Intime? What'll they think of next? 684 00:36:33,088 --> 00:36:36,255 ♪ You can value the stocks, but don't touch 685 00:36:36,546 --> 00:36:40,088 ♪ Though the stocks are in frocks, you don't touch 686 00:36:40,671 --> 00:36:43,921 ♪ You can't walk in the Dorchester, Savoy or the Ritz 687 00:36:44,005 --> 00:36:47,255 ♪ And open up the showcases to handle the bits 688 00:36:47,713 --> 00:36:50,130 ♪ Which means until you own the goods, don't touch the exhibits 689 00:36:50,255 --> 00:36:53,088 -What's cooking, flower drum girl? -I am. Phew, it's hot in here! 690 00:36:53,171 --> 00:36:55,296 Well, it looks as if the completely un-unique, 691 00:36:55,380 --> 00:36:59,130 unfabulous, unsensational Maisie King is finding fame. 692 00:36:59,213 --> 00:37:01,755 -The lot look queer in clothes. -Is Gilbert Harding here? 693 00:37:01,838 --> 00:37:03,130 Who's he? 694 00:37:03,213 --> 00:37:05,171 Why, you ignorant little lotus blossom. 695 00:37:05,296 --> 00:37:07,255 You can't have Cosmorama without Gilbert... Ah! 696 00:37:08,671 --> 00:37:11,838 Good evening, Mr Harley. I'm the press man for this joint. 697 00:37:11,921 --> 00:37:13,296 Don't go asking me for too many plugs. 698 00:37:13,380 --> 00:37:14,463 You're what the corporation 699 00:37:14,546 --> 00:37:16,505 -doesn't like about plugs. -Who's asking? 700 00:37:16,588 --> 00:37:18,546 I just wanted to say what a great idea it was 701 00:37:18,630 --> 00:37:22,380 for a serious, well-informed documentary mob like yours 702 00:37:22,463 --> 00:37:25,796 to take a look at the way these wonderful teenage kids live. 703 00:37:26,213 --> 00:37:28,171 All right, cut film. 704 00:37:28,255 --> 00:37:29,838 Well, that's extremely kind of you. 705 00:37:29,921 --> 00:37:31,838 -Simon. -Uh, Maisie King! Maisie! 706 00:37:32,546 --> 00:37:34,463 Come over here and meet a real personality. 707 00:37:34,546 --> 00:37:37,796 You know, my friend and I are some of your greatest fans. 708 00:37:37,880 --> 00:37:39,380 Well, Miss King, that was most interesting. 709 00:37:39,463 --> 00:37:41,796 It had an authentic quality of gay delinquency. 710 00:37:41,880 --> 00:37:43,796 Oh, it looks much better in the real costume. 711 00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:45,088 What did you think of my voice? 712 00:37:45,171 --> 00:37:46,838 What I admire most about these kids 713 00:37:46,921 --> 00:37:49,755 is their energy, their vitality, their life! 714 00:37:49,838 --> 00:37:51,005 You know, straight after the show, 715 00:37:51,088 --> 00:37:52,463 do you know what this little lady's gonna be doing? 716 00:37:52,546 --> 00:37:53,588 What? 717 00:37:53,671 --> 00:37:56,005 She'll be rocking like mad with the other kids down at the Tom-Tom. 718 00:37:56,088 --> 00:37:57,546 -She will? -Oh, and where's that now? 719 00:37:57,630 --> 00:37:59,546 Well, it's a sort of contemporary youth centre 720 00:37:59,630 --> 00:38:01,130 on the other side of Compton Street. 721 00:38:01,630 --> 00:38:05,838 Come on, kid, dress! Let's get with it! See you down there, chum. 722 00:38:06,755 --> 00:38:09,005 Well, Simon, we may as well wrap this up 723 00:38:09,088 --> 00:38:12,796 and get over to that Tom-Tom place, see if we can get some candid stuff. 724 00:38:13,046 --> 00:38:15,005 What's all this Tom-Tom routine? 725 00:38:15,088 --> 00:38:17,671 This is our day, Maisie. I should've had faith. 726 00:38:18,338 --> 00:38:20,630 I should have realised that luck can be so undiscriminating, 727 00:38:20,713 --> 00:38:22,130 it could even happen to me. 728 00:38:22,255 --> 00:38:25,130 You know, if I get a plug in Cosmorama, we may well be in profit. 729 00:38:25,213 --> 00:38:28,421 I could get advanced course singing lessons for as little as half a guinea! 730 00:38:28,546 --> 00:38:29,630 -Get moving! -Hey! 731 00:38:30,380 --> 00:38:32,046 "In profit", I love those words! 732 00:38:32,130 --> 00:38:34,505 Come on, kid. I want you all to come down to the Tom-Tom with me. 733 00:38:34,588 --> 00:38:36,505 Why do I want to go there for? I'm tired. 734 00:38:36,630 --> 00:38:37,713 Yes, I wanna go to bed. 735 00:38:37,796 --> 00:38:40,130 Can't you keep your mind off work? Now, come on, now. Be my guests! 736 00:38:40,213 --> 00:38:41,671 All the expresso you can drink! 737 00:38:41,755 --> 00:38:44,005 Make a night of it! Live it up. Come on, now, get ready! Come on. 738 00:38:46,838 --> 00:38:48,380 (CAR HORNS BLARING) 739 00:38:49,755 --> 00:38:51,088 (INDISTINCT CHATTERING) 740 00:38:54,088 --> 00:38:56,713 How long have we gotta stay in this nuthouse for juveniles? 741 00:38:56,838 --> 00:38:58,963 This is a recreation centre. Go in and recreate. 742 00:38:59,046 --> 00:39:00,380 I'll be down in a minute, doll. 743 00:39:00,505 --> 00:39:02,921 -Where are you going? -Come on, kids, I'm waiting for someone. 744 00:39:03,005 --> 00:39:05,505 Will you balance the budget with all this secrecy? 745 00:39:05,588 --> 00:39:08,255 Look, Maisie, when I'm doing business, don't waste my time with economics. 746 00:39:08,338 --> 00:39:10,880 Oh, you handle business so businesslike! 747 00:39:10,963 --> 00:39:12,213 Oh, do me a favour, Maisie. 748 00:39:12,296 --> 00:39:13,338 (HORN HONKING) 749 00:39:24,755 --> 00:39:27,505 Evening, Mr Mayer. Is the ulcer doing well tonight? 750 00:39:27,588 --> 00:39:30,005 I already feel a small centre of irritation. 751 00:39:30,296 --> 00:39:32,671 What? Television for an expresso opening? 752 00:39:32,755 --> 00:39:35,046 -What else? -How short of material can they get? 753 00:39:35,130 --> 00:39:37,963 It's the boy, Mr Mayer. He's mustard. Just mustard. 754 00:39:38,046 --> 00:39:41,296 Mustard schmustard! Public places degenerated so far, 755 00:39:41,463 --> 00:39:44,213 I'm finding great difficulty in getting down to it. 756 00:39:44,505 --> 00:39:46,588 How low can you sink? 757 00:39:47,130 --> 00:39:50,296 Just a little lower, Mr Mayer. It's down in the cellar. 758 00:39:51,713 --> 00:39:52,880 (INSTRUMENTAL ROCK MUSIC PLAYING) 759 00:39:52,963 --> 00:39:55,463 Well, here we are in a typical expresso coffee bar. 760 00:39:55,880 --> 00:39:58,796 In this rather synthetically exotic decor, 761 00:39:59,338 --> 00:40:01,546 the teenagers relax after their working day. 762 00:40:01,838 --> 00:40:03,338 That is if you can call it relaxation. 763 00:40:03,630 --> 00:40:06,546 Of course, you and I might prefer the quiet atmosphere 764 00:40:06,630 --> 00:40:08,005 of an old English pub. 765 00:40:08,088 --> 00:40:09,755 But these youngsters get their kicks, 766 00:40:09,838 --> 00:40:12,671 as they put it, under plastic palm trees, 767 00:40:12,838 --> 00:40:16,963 where they sit to hatch and plot their teenage rebellion. 768 00:40:17,046 --> 00:40:19,838 Let's see what they think about it. You, sir, what do you think about it? 769 00:40:19,921 --> 00:40:21,463 -Why me? -Oh, thank you. 770 00:40:22,046 --> 00:40:24,380 -Have a cappuccino, Mr Mayer. -Yes, please, flat. 771 00:40:24,463 --> 00:40:26,088 Uh, one flat, Leon. 772 00:40:26,296 --> 00:40:29,630 This is my friend. Miss King, Mr Mayer, Garrick Records. 773 00:40:29,755 --> 00:40:31,213 -How are you? -How do you do, Ms King? 774 00:40:31,296 --> 00:40:32,588 Chat him up. 775 00:40:32,671 --> 00:40:33,963 (UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING) 776 00:40:38,588 --> 00:40:40,838 Look, look, look what these devils do to my paint. 777 00:40:40,921 --> 00:40:42,588 Just see what it does to your business. 778 00:40:42,921 --> 00:40:44,005 I always say 779 00:40:44,088 --> 00:40:48,463 this is the best part of the day for me, just sitting peacefully, sipping cafe. 780 00:40:48,546 --> 00:40:50,588 At least coffee will keep me awake. 781 00:40:50,671 --> 00:40:53,296 As a matter of interest, Mr Mayer, how do you sleep? 782 00:40:53,380 --> 00:40:56,421 -What do I want to sleep for? -Please yourself. 783 00:40:56,505 --> 00:41:01,005 Awake, I can count sheep going into the record shops buying my discs. 784 00:41:01,088 --> 00:41:02,130 (LAUGHS) 785 00:41:03,713 --> 00:41:07,671 Oh, don't you love this character? I'll be right back. Make conversation. 786 00:41:08,963 --> 00:41:11,005 -Come on, Bongo baby. You're on. -I just did it. 787 00:41:11,088 --> 00:41:12,921 Well, do it again. Just hog that camera. 788 00:41:13,005 --> 00:41:15,088 Wherever that camera goes, let it find you. 789 00:41:15,171 --> 00:41:18,505 -Right. Three, four... -(MUSIC STARTS) 790 00:41:18,588 --> 00:41:19,671 Of course, Mr Mayer, 791 00:41:19,755 --> 00:41:22,963 I wouldn't say my voice is quite ready for opera just yet, but... 792 00:41:23,046 --> 00:41:24,921 Perhaps, you'd be kind enough to stop 793 00:41:25,005 --> 00:41:28,255 chatting Mr Mayer and listen to this brilliant boy. 794 00:41:30,171 --> 00:41:33,005 ♪ My heart was so heavy 795 00:41:33,088 --> 00:41:36,088 ♪ With longing for you 796 00:41:36,588 --> 00:41:39,338 ♪ My arms were so lonely 797 00:41:39,755 --> 00:41:42,130 ♪ Lonesome and blue 798 00:41:42,838 --> 00:41:45,380 ♪ Alone in my sorrow 799 00:41:45,838 --> 00:41:49,338 ♪ I heard a voice cry 800 00:41:49,463 --> 00:41:52,255 ♪ A voice in the wilderness 801 00:41:52,338 --> 00:41:55,046 ♪ A voice from the sky 802 00:41:55,630 --> 00:41:58,671 ♪ Have faith in your darling 803 00:41:58,755 --> 00:42:01,921 ♪ The voice seemed to say 804 00:42:02,005 --> 00:42:07,796 ♪ Be true to her memory She'll come back one day 805 00:42:08,296 --> 00:42:14,755 ♪ And though there was no one, nobody to see 806 00:42:14,838 --> 00:42:17,921 ♪ A voice in the wilderness 807 00:42:18,005 --> 00:42:21,130 ♪ Brought comfort to me 808 00:42:22,338 --> 00:42:27,796 ♪ We had a quarrel, I was unkind 809 00:42:27,880 --> 00:42:30,630 ♪ Why did you leave me? 810 00:42:31,171 --> 00:42:33,713 ♪ Love made me blind 811 00:42:33,796 --> 00:42:37,255 ♪ My darling, forgive me 812 00:42:37,338 --> 00:42:40,505 ♪ I yearn for your touch 813 00:42:40,838 --> 00:42:43,880 ♪ Have pity, come back now 814 00:42:43,963 --> 00:42:47,005 ♪ I need you so much 815 00:42:47,088 --> 00:42:50,463 ♪ Believe me and you'll hear it 816 00:42:50,546 --> 00:42:53,838 ♪ The voice from above 817 00:42:53,963 --> 00:42:57,088 ♪ A voice in the wilderness 818 00:42:57,171 --> 00:43:00,713 ♪ The voice of true love ♪ 819 00:43:01,421 --> 00:43:03,463 (GENTLE INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING) 820 00:43:37,171 --> 00:43:39,255 (MUSIC ENDS) 821 00:43:40,963 --> 00:43:43,088 (AUDIENCE CHEERING AND APPLAUDING) 822 00:43:48,088 --> 00:43:51,588 (MUTTERS INDISTINCTLY) What do you think about him? 823 00:43:51,671 --> 00:43:53,630 Good evening, miss. 824 00:43:53,713 --> 00:43:56,130 But don't you think the boy's got something, Mr Mayer? 825 00:43:56,213 --> 00:43:59,963 Something, he's got. What it is, I don't want to know. 826 00:44:00,046 --> 00:44:04,255 But you can be frank with me, Mr Mayer. What's your feeling about this boy? 827 00:44:04,588 --> 00:44:07,963 -Nausea, nausea! -Nausea? 828 00:44:08,463 --> 00:44:13,213 ♪ When I see this little bleeder and compare him with Aida, nausea 829 00:44:14,046 --> 00:44:15,755 ♪ Nausea 830 00:44:16,130 --> 00:44:20,130 ♪ A boy who owns an Austin-Healey Twice as great as Beni Gigli 831 00:44:20,213 --> 00:44:21,255 ♪ Nausea 832 00:44:21,338 --> 00:44:23,338 All your life, you should be so sick. 833 00:44:23,963 --> 00:44:27,505 ♪ When this talent's in the lolly, if you take the risk 834 00:44:27,963 --> 00:44:32,130 ♪ You'll make more than Bobby Rawley from his nauseating disc 835 00:44:33,755 --> 00:44:35,838 ♪ Call this music? What a scandal 836 00:44:35,921 --> 00:44:37,755 ♪ In his grave is turning Handel 837 00:44:37,838 --> 00:44:40,671 ♪ Nausea, nausea, nausea 838 00:44:44,046 --> 00:44:48,380 ♪ All he need's a crew cut, a sweatshirt and some jeans 839 00:44:48,588 --> 00:44:52,338 ♪ And he'll be better box office than all your... (INDISTINCT) Hey! 840 00:44:54,630 --> 00:44:56,755 ♪ When I hear these coffee barmen 841 00:44:56,838 --> 00:44:59,880 ♪ And think what they did to Carmen, nausea 842 00:45:00,713 --> 00:45:02,171 ♪ Nausea 843 00:45:02,963 --> 00:45:04,963 ♪ Years ago, they would be failure 844 00:45:05,046 --> 00:45:06,796 ♪ Now, they're cutting out Sibelius 845 00:45:06,921 --> 00:45:10,505 ♪ Nausea, nausea 846 00:45:10,630 --> 00:45:14,630 ♪ So try to sell the meister singers in expresso bars 847 00:45:14,838 --> 00:45:19,546 ♪ All they want is shyster singers plucking back on their guitars 848 00:45:21,338 --> 00:45:23,255 ♪ When I think of Don Pasquale 849 00:45:23,338 --> 00:45:26,380 ♪ And compare him with this Charlie, nausea 850 00:45:26,463 --> 00:45:28,255 ♪ Nausea, nausea ♪ 851 00:45:28,338 --> 00:45:29,421 (SPITTING) 852 00:45:31,421 --> 00:45:34,421 I want you to know, Mr Mayer, that I appreciate your frankness. 853 00:45:34,505 --> 00:45:38,713 With opera, I lost my shirt. Yet, from this rock dreck, I make money. 854 00:45:38,880 --> 00:45:42,005 All right, I'll give you £35 for one disc, 855 00:45:42,088 --> 00:45:44,421 two sides of your Bongo, no royalty. 856 00:45:44,505 --> 00:45:46,380 -It's a deal? -Hard cash. 857 00:45:46,546 --> 00:45:49,630 It's a special concession to an ulcer man, and in cash. 858 00:45:49,713 --> 00:45:51,380 -It's a deal. -Good. 859 00:45:51,505 --> 00:45:53,505 -One, two and... -Hello, Johnny. 860 00:45:53,630 --> 00:45:54,880 What do you think of them? 861 00:45:54,963 --> 00:45:57,630 Oh, kinky, but nice, nice! 862 00:45:57,921 --> 00:46:00,338 Fetches me quite a new class of clientele. 863 00:46:00,421 --> 00:46:02,255 Good, let me be your financial adviser. 864 00:46:02,338 --> 00:46:04,130 Always ready to try something new. 865 00:46:04,213 --> 00:46:07,796 Invest in a car. Love on wheels. It's the safest thing. 866 00:46:08,005 --> 00:46:12,588 I think you've got something there. Where do they put these things? 867 00:46:13,463 --> 00:46:15,213 Now, Penelope, you've been warned. 868 00:46:15,296 --> 00:46:18,963 It's a fine thing if a girl can't look up a used car bargain. 869 00:46:19,255 --> 00:46:20,505 (HORN HONKS) 870 00:46:25,505 --> 00:46:26,546 Hi. 871 00:46:26,630 --> 00:46:28,921 So, what's high? Things have reached an all-time low. 872 00:46:29,005 --> 00:46:30,963 -Now what's happened? -Exactly nothing. 873 00:46:31,046 --> 00:46:34,296 It's a week since I signed Bongo to make a record, no record. 874 00:46:34,796 --> 00:46:37,255 A week since he opened at the Tom-Tom, no paragraphs. 875 00:46:37,380 --> 00:46:39,838 -MAISIE: At least you got some money. -Money? You call this money? 876 00:46:39,921 --> 00:46:41,296 Two pounds, seven shillings and nine pence 877 00:46:41,380 --> 00:46:42,713 and a life membership at the Tom-Tom. 878 00:46:42,796 --> 00:46:44,088 -Money is useless. -Is that all you've got left? 879 00:46:44,171 --> 00:46:45,921 At this rate, Bongo's going to be a very old teenager 880 00:46:46,005 --> 00:46:47,463 before I can retire to the south of France. 881 00:46:47,546 --> 00:46:49,630 But the advanced singing lessons, Johnny. You promised. 882 00:46:49,713 --> 00:46:51,171 Never. Not since I was a boy scout. 883 00:46:51,255 --> 00:46:52,421 You said the next... 884 00:46:52,505 --> 00:46:54,130 Sorry, doll, you'll have to keep on stripping. 885 00:46:54,213 --> 00:46:55,796 At this rate, I'm gonna be a very old stripper 886 00:46:55,880 --> 00:46:57,838 before I can retire to the south of France. 887 00:46:57,921 --> 00:46:59,963 Oh, that's the brave little artiste. 888 00:47:00,380 --> 00:47:02,130 -What's for lunch? -Guess. 889 00:47:02,296 --> 00:47:05,213 Same as I've been guessing for the last 3,000 Thursdays, spaghetti. 890 00:47:05,296 --> 00:47:07,963 -It's special today, though. -You mean it's not overcooked? 891 00:47:08,088 --> 00:47:10,213 -Remember what day it is? -Black Thursday. 892 00:47:10,796 --> 00:47:13,713 -It's our anniversary. -Congratulations. Of what? 893 00:47:13,838 --> 00:47:16,963 Two years ago, today, you bought me my first salt beef sandwich. 894 00:47:17,088 --> 00:47:18,921 Why do women always want to remember such things? 895 00:47:19,005 --> 00:47:20,213 Well, they do. 896 00:47:20,296 --> 00:47:21,588 -Why, I don't know. -Now, look, Maisie doll, 897 00:47:21,671 --> 00:47:23,588 with all my money, do we have to eat off newspapers? 898 00:47:23,671 --> 00:47:27,296 They're the lunch edition. I thought they'd give you an appetite. Look. 899 00:47:28,630 --> 00:47:32,546 That, with meatballs and the spaghetti, is my anniversary present to you. 900 00:47:33,171 --> 00:47:35,421 -Timber! -How hungry are you? 901 00:47:35,505 --> 00:47:38,130 'Cosmorama presents...' Oh, it's just like I thought. 902 00:47:38,505 --> 00:47:39,588 Just like you thought? 903 00:47:39,671 --> 00:47:41,130 Yeah, that's why I told him to hog that camera. 904 00:47:41,213 --> 00:47:43,088 You didn't know they'd plaster the newspapers with his face. 905 00:47:43,171 --> 00:47:44,796 'Cosmorama presents Teenage Rebellion, BBC Television. 906 00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:46,005 'Saturday Night. 8:30.' 907 00:47:46,088 --> 00:47:48,546 Well, oh, I didn't know for sure, but I knew! I knew! 908 00:47:48,630 --> 00:47:50,838 That's one thing I've got against you, Johnny Jackson. 909 00:47:50,963 --> 00:47:52,963 In all the two years you've been my sole agent, 910 00:47:53,046 --> 00:47:54,171 you'll never admit you don't know... 911 00:47:54,255 --> 00:47:55,588 Still out of order! Why do I pay for it? 912 00:47:55,671 --> 00:47:58,171 -It's out of order because you don't. -Oh. 913 00:48:00,380 --> 00:48:01,505 Get this junk off the table! 914 00:48:01,588 --> 00:48:02,671 You're ruining these valuable newspapers. 915 00:48:02,755 --> 00:48:04,880 That junk happens to be our anniversary lunch. 916 00:48:04,963 --> 00:48:06,046 Where are you going? 917 00:48:06,130 --> 00:48:08,880 I've gotta organise Mayer, the press... Oh, and Gilbert Harding! 918 00:48:08,963 --> 00:48:10,088 But the food's ready! 919 00:48:10,171 --> 00:48:13,296 Listen, Maisie doll, when I'm cooking, you shouldn't be! 920 00:48:13,546 --> 00:48:17,921 -I even got some wine! Red wine! -Well, keep it warm! 921 00:48:18,755 --> 00:48:22,046 I hate wine! I hate meatballs! 922 00:48:23,921 --> 00:48:26,005 And I hate agents! 923 00:48:27,630 --> 00:48:31,130 ♪ I wish I could hate your method of lovin' 924 00:48:31,213 --> 00:48:34,838 ♪ I wish I could hate those dangerous charms 925 00:48:34,921 --> 00:48:38,463 ♪ But what's a girl gonna do who hates to love you 926 00:48:38,588 --> 00:48:42,088 ♪ When she loves to hate in your arms? 927 00:48:42,213 --> 00:48:45,546 ♪ I'm longing to loathe your lovable laughter 928 00:48:45,713 --> 00:48:49,546 ♪ I want to be footloose, fancy and free 929 00:48:49,630 --> 00:48:53,171 ♪ But when I'm footloose and free, it's you I fancy 930 00:48:53,255 --> 00:48:56,463 ♪ Oh, worry, go-lucky me 931 00:48:58,796 --> 00:49:01,963 ♪ I wish I could kill our beautiful friendship 932 00:49:02,546 --> 00:49:06,255 ♪ I wish I could douse your passionate flame 933 00:49:06,338 --> 00:49:10,088 ♪ But what's a girl gonna do who aims to miss you 934 00:49:10,171 --> 00:49:13,463 ♪ When she's always missing her aim? 935 00:49:13,630 --> 00:49:17,005 ♪ I'd like to forget past, present and future 936 00:49:17,296 --> 00:49:21,005 ♪ If only my head and heart could agree 937 00:49:21,088 --> 00:49:24,838 ♪ But you're my past and my future at the present 938 00:49:24,921 --> 00:49:29,255 ♪ Don't know if I hate to love you or love to hate you 939 00:49:29,338 --> 00:49:32,755 ♪ Worry, go-lucky me ♪ 940 00:49:37,255 --> 00:49:41,588 One, two, three. I arranged to get my boy national advertising, 941 00:49:41,671 --> 00:49:44,171 a 45-minute programme, weekend peak viewing, 942 00:49:44,255 --> 00:49:46,171 and you haven't even got his disc out yet! 943 00:49:46,296 --> 00:49:47,421 He sings on this programme? 944 00:49:47,505 --> 00:49:50,005 What else can he do? Interview the Queen Mother? 945 00:49:52,421 --> 00:49:55,296 -Fix a recording session this afternoon. -SECRETARY: This afternoon? 946 00:49:55,380 --> 00:49:57,546 Don't give me problems! Fix it! 947 00:49:57,630 --> 00:50:00,755 Your boy's disc will be in the shops late on Monday. Satisfied? 948 00:50:00,838 --> 00:50:03,296 Satisfied. You've made a wise decision, Mr Mayer. 949 00:50:03,380 --> 00:50:06,046 This will restore the public's faith in Garrick Records. 950 00:50:07,338 --> 00:50:08,630 (DOOR CLOSES) 951 00:50:09,255 --> 00:50:11,213 I suppose he's a likeable fellow. 952 00:50:14,963 --> 00:50:18,046 -Cosmorama. Which studio, please? -Studio six. Got an appointment? 953 00:50:18,130 --> 00:50:19,796 Special urgent delivery. Gilbert Harding. Personal. 954 00:50:19,880 --> 00:50:21,005 I'll phone him through. 955 00:50:21,088 --> 00:50:22,630 Oh, it's more than my job's worth to keep him waiting. 956 00:50:22,713 --> 00:50:24,713 -Hey, you've got to be announced! -I'm not proud. 957 00:50:25,130 --> 00:50:28,046 Yes, I know, boy, I know. You may very well be right. 958 00:50:28,130 --> 00:50:30,213 But my personal view has always been very strong. 959 00:50:30,296 --> 00:50:32,713 The Archbishop should come in through there. 960 00:50:32,796 --> 00:50:34,296 Oh, my dear Mr Harding. 961 00:50:34,380 --> 00:50:35,921 I'd like to congratulate you on the publicity 962 00:50:36,005 --> 00:50:37,671 for your Teenage Rebellion programme. 963 00:50:37,755 --> 00:50:41,296 -Extremely kind of you, I'm sure. -Sensational, just sensational. 964 00:50:41,380 --> 00:50:43,213 -Haven't we met before? -Oh, it's not impossible. 965 00:50:43,296 --> 00:50:45,921 My show business interests are extensive. 966 00:50:46,005 --> 00:50:48,796 As I was saying, the ads for your programme are fabulous. 967 00:50:48,880 --> 00:50:51,213 Well, I'm so grateful to you, but as you see, we're very busy. 968 00:50:51,296 --> 00:50:53,755 You see, I happen to be closely related to this Bongo Herbert. 969 00:50:53,838 --> 00:50:55,171 The boy you're featuring in your advert. 970 00:50:55,255 --> 00:50:56,380 Oh, yes. You his father? 971 00:50:56,463 --> 00:50:59,005 -Uh, no, closer than that. Manager. -Hmm. 972 00:50:59,088 --> 00:51:02,588 I'm afraid we cannot allow you to use the film material of our client. 973 00:51:02,838 --> 00:51:05,838 But we've made him the keynote. He runs through the whole film. 974 00:51:05,921 --> 00:51:08,130 I'm afraid our lawyers feel that this programme of yours, 975 00:51:08,213 --> 00:51:10,046 praiseworthy as it may well be, 976 00:51:10,255 --> 00:51:12,921 is denigratory to our client's professional status. 977 00:51:13,130 --> 00:51:15,255 Would you care to see the documents? 978 00:51:15,338 --> 00:51:17,838 We had no idea the boy had any professional status. 979 00:51:17,963 --> 00:51:20,755 My dear Harding, the kid has records coming out all the time. 980 00:51:20,838 --> 00:51:23,671 Why, Garrick Records have an immense investment in him. 981 00:51:23,880 --> 00:51:25,963 You're not just exploiting an unprotected kid, you know. 982 00:51:26,046 --> 00:51:28,130 I assure you, we have no desire to exploit anyone. 983 00:51:28,213 --> 00:51:30,463 Anyone at all. Better sit down. 984 00:51:30,630 --> 00:51:34,921 We don't want our boy exhibited as a teenage curiosity. 985 00:51:35,171 --> 00:51:38,505 Teenagers are regarded by the corporation with the deepest reverence. 986 00:51:38,588 --> 00:51:40,588 By me, too, I assure you. 987 00:51:41,046 --> 00:51:43,380 We're quite prepared to pay your client a fair fee. 988 00:51:43,463 --> 00:51:45,588 It isn't the mere money, Harding. We're loaded. 989 00:51:45,671 --> 00:51:48,255 It's the principle of the thing. How much have you in mind? 990 00:51:48,338 --> 00:51:50,421 -Fifty. -Oh, please! 991 00:51:50,505 --> 00:51:52,005 Seventy-five. It's a documentary. 992 00:51:52,088 --> 00:51:54,880 Yes, but Bongo Herbert isn't an inexpensive herringbone! 993 00:51:55,005 --> 00:51:58,713 We have the most eminent people coming to discuss this Bongo and his symptoms. 994 00:51:58,796 --> 00:52:00,338 I mean, his art. 995 00:52:00,421 --> 00:52:02,213 It's a programme on the highest level. 996 00:52:02,296 --> 00:52:04,463 And 100 is as far as we're prepared to go. 997 00:52:04,921 --> 00:52:06,671 I've been watching you very closely, Harding, 998 00:52:06,755 --> 00:52:10,130 and I've come to the conclusion that you're a deeply sincere person 999 00:52:10,213 --> 00:52:11,588 and I'm gonna do my best to help you. 1000 00:52:11,755 --> 00:52:13,838 Well, I'm very glad if you feel that way, Mr, um... 1001 00:52:13,921 --> 00:52:15,796 Uh, Jackson. So, we'll take the 100. 1002 00:52:15,880 --> 00:52:18,046 Uh, ask your cashier to leave it for me on my way out. 1003 00:52:18,130 --> 00:52:19,963 -Very well. -Now, about this eminent discussion. 1004 00:52:20,046 --> 00:52:21,088 Mmm-hmm. 1005 00:52:21,171 --> 00:52:23,755 I have one or two modest suggestions. 1006 00:52:23,838 --> 00:52:24,963 -Mmm. -Do sit down. 1007 00:52:25,046 --> 00:52:26,505 Oh, dear. 1008 00:52:26,630 --> 00:52:27,921 Now, my dear Harding... 1009 00:52:30,296 --> 00:52:33,421 Well, here we are in a typical expresso coffee bar. 1010 00:52:33,921 --> 00:52:36,838 And in this rather synthetically exotic decor, 1011 00:52:37,088 --> 00:52:40,005 the teenagers relax after the day's work. 1012 00:52:40,546 --> 00:52:42,046 -Am I on yet? -It's finished. 1013 00:52:42,130 --> 00:52:43,171 Oh, no, I missed it. 1014 00:52:43,255 --> 00:52:44,796 Missed my first film. How did I look? 1015 00:52:44,880 --> 00:52:46,338 You came out wonderful, Bongo. 1016 00:52:46,421 --> 00:52:49,838 No kidding? Hey, why wasn't Johnny here to see me? 1017 00:52:49,921 --> 00:52:52,755 -What kind of a manger is he, anyway? -For you, good. 1018 00:52:52,838 --> 00:52:55,546 Probably holding Mayer down to a hot television set. 1019 00:52:55,630 --> 00:52:57,380 Perhaps I'll come on again, huh? 1020 00:52:57,505 --> 00:53:00,880 Well, I don't know about you, but that left me absolutely breathless 1021 00:53:00,963 --> 00:53:02,463 just watching it again. 1022 00:53:02,796 --> 00:53:06,421 Now, what is the answer to this astonishing phenomenon of our time? 1023 00:53:06,671 --> 00:53:07,838 With us in the studio tonight, 1024 00:53:07,921 --> 00:53:10,588 we have a distinguished panel of experts to discuss it. 1025 00:53:10,838 --> 00:53:13,255 -The Reverend Tobias Craven. -Good evening. 1026 00:53:13,796 --> 00:53:16,005 An important Harley Street psychiatrist. 1027 00:53:16,088 --> 00:53:17,255 Good evening. 1028 00:53:17,380 --> 00:53:19,421 And last, but certainly not least, 1029 00:53:19,505 --> 00:53:23,171 a man who has been responsible for much of what we're here to discuss, 1030 00:53:23,505 --> 00:53:26,880 Mr Johnny Jackson, a well-known artist manager. 1031 00:53:27,213 --> 00:53:29,838 -Hiya, cats! -How the hell did he get on there? 1032 00:53:30,046 --> 00:53:32,630 Oh, that Johnny. He's a really deep character! 1033 00:53:33,046 --> 00:53:37,005 Now, Doctor, would you say this was just a healthy sign of high spirits? 1034 00:53:37,171 --> 00:53:39,213 It's not as simple as that. 1035 00:53:39,505 --> 00:53:43,505 Adolescents in our time demand outlets for their frustration. 1036 00:53:44,380 --> 00:53:46,213 See? You're frustrated, Bongo! 1037 00:53:46,296 --> 00:53:48,630 -You need some bint! -Seek elsewhere. 1038 00:53:49,005 --> 00:53:52,963 The drums Bongo beats may stand for someone he doesn't like, 1039 00:53:53,338 --> 00:53:57,338 or they may be a simple means of evacuating tension. 1040 00:53:57,755 --> 00:54:00,338 -What's all that about? Huh? -Bint. 1041 00:54:00,880 --> 00:54:07,005 The whole mass of whirling conflict surge up to a pounding climax. 1042 00:54:08,213 --> 00:54:11,046 Afterwards, in its relaxation of tension, 1043 00:54:11,546 --> 00:54:13,213 the face is almost beautiful. 1044 00:54:13,463 --> 00:54:15,505 Hear that? You're almost beautiful, Bongo. 1045 00:54:15,588 --> 00:54:17,005 -Do me a favour. -Shh! 1046 00:54:17,088 --> 00:54:18,921 -GILBERT: Craven? -Speaking personally, 1047 00:54:19,005 --> 00:54:21,088 I welcome the whole phenomenon. 1048 00:54:21,213 --> 00:54:24,505 After all, many popular songs do have a touch of religion. 1049 00:54:24,588 --> 00:54:25,630 JOHNNY: Uh, speaking for myself... 1050 00:54:25,713 --> 00:54:27,005 Of course, many others are frankly pagan. 1051 00:54:27,088 --> 00:54:28,380 JOHNNY: Uh, speaking for myself... 1052 00:54:28,463 --> 00:54:30,255 We have to reach the people at their own level. 1053 00:54:30,338 --> 00:54:31,463 GILBERT: Mr Jackson? 1054 00:54:31,546 --> 00:54:33,630 Still speaking for myself, 1055 00:54:33,796 --> 00:54:36,921 I would definitely say that the Rev is onto something there. 1056 00:54:37,046 --> 00:54:40,338 This boy, Bongo Herbert, we must all bear in mind, 1057 00:54:40,421 --> 00:54:42,921 is a real symbol of modern youth, 1058 00:54:43,046 --> 00:54:46,880 and this number which we heard him sing, Voice In The Wilderness, 1059 00:54:47,130 --> 00:54:49,630 will, we believe, introduce a new era in the hit parade. 1060 00:54:49,713 --> 00:54:51,546 GILBERT: Uh, the psychiatrist... Yes, Doctor? 1061 00:54:51,630 --> 00:54:55,546 JOHNNY: Because get this, kids, the disc of Voice In The Wilderness 1062 00:54:55,713 --> 00:54:59,088 will be on sale in your local record shops any minute now. 1063 00:54:59,338 --> 00:55:00,755 Well, thank you, Mr Jackson. There you have the... 1064 00:55:00,838 --> 00:55:04,296 There is, of course, something in what Mr Jackson says. 1065 00:55:04,380 --> 00:55:07,421 I started a jive club at our youth centre some time ago. 1066 00:55:07,546 --> 00:55:10,213 Later, we converted it into skiffle. 1067 00:55:10,463 --> 00:55:14,338 Now, I think it not impossible that I start a bongo club in my crypt. 1068 00:55:14,505 --> 00:55:17,338 JOHNNY: Oh, good for you, Rev! A big hand for the Rev, kids! 1069 00:55:18,213 --> 00:55:21,421 You just heard the attitude of a really great modern churchman, 1070 00:55:21,505 --> 00:55:22,671 if I may say so. 1071 00:55:23,130 --> 00:55:24,671 Just because we want a few kicks as well 1072 00:55:25,213 --> 00:55:27,130 is no reason we should be unreligious. 1073 00:55:27,255 --> 00:55:29,630 Oh, thank you, Mr Jackson. There you have the... 1074 00:55:29,713 --> 00:55:31,880 JOHNNY: And talking about religion, kids, 1075 00:55:31,963 --> 00:55:34,463 I don't want you to regard Bongo as a substitute, 1076 00:55:34,755 --> 00:55:37,005 even though his latest Garrick recording, 1077 00:55:37,130 --> 00:55:40,046 A Voice In The Wilderness, is the greatest you ever heard! 1078 00:55:41,005 --> 00:55:42,463 I am speaking on behalf of both me and Bongo... 1079 00:55:42,546 --> 00:55:44,546 -Mr Jackson. -...when I say, 1080 00:55:44,921 --> 00:55:46,713 go to church this Sunday. 1081 00:55:47,088 --> 00:55:50,213 Me and Bongo often go together to the same little local church 1082 00:55:50,296 --> 00:55:52,380 where Bongo was christened 18 years ago. 1083 00:55:52,921 --> 00:55:56,088 How can he say those things? How can he lie so well? 1084 00:55:56,171 --> 00:55:57,171 (SIGHS) 1085 00:55:57,463 --> 00:55:59,880 ...and his little sister and his dad, 1086 00:55:59,963 --> 00:56:02,505 who have made so many sacrifices for him. 1087 00:56:02,921 --> 00:56:05,755 Bongo gives thanks for all you wonderful people 1088 00:56:05,838 --> 00:56:07,630 who've made his career possible. 1089 00:56:08,213 --> 00:56:10,005 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1090 00:56:15,588 --> 00:56:19,546 ♪ I never had it so good since the day I was born 1091 00:56:20,796 --> 00:56:25,255 ♪ Corn is growing where there used to be barren soil 1092 00:56:25,421 --> 00:56:26,630 ♪ What a life 1093 00:56:26,921 --> 00:56:28,755 ♪ I struck oil 1094 00:56:28,838 --> 00:56:33,130 ♪ I never had it so rich before 1095 00:56:34,671 --> 00:56:38,213 ♪ I was sliding the slope, then I signed up a dope 1096 00:56:38,296 --> 00:56:40,671 ♪ Bongo, you opened the door 1097 00:56:41,588 --> 00:56:45,588 ♪ I never had it so good until I learned to be bad 1098 00:56:46,671 --> 00:56:51,421 ♪ Glad to tell you I'm no longer misunderstood 1099 00:56:51,630 --> 00:56:54,713 ♪ I never had it so good, good, good 1100 00:56:54,921 --> 00:56:57,338 ♪ I never had it so good ♪ 1101 00:57:01,671 --> 00:57:03,921 We have to proceed cautiously and quietly. 1102 00:57:04,005 --> 00:57:06,588 It's number five in the top 10. How cautious can you get? 1103 00:57:06,671 --> 00:57:10,588 Look! Look at my systematic planning on the Dixie Collins LP. 1104 00:57:10,671 --> 00:57:15,171 She hasn't been seen here for years, and already we have pre-sold 50,000! 1105 00:57:15,421 --> 00:57:16,921 Good for you. But how does it help us? 1106 00:57:17,005 --> 00:57:19,088 -We gotta have action! -Shh! Quietly. 1107 00:57:19,296 --> 00:57:21,213 As a young ulcer man, you should take things quietly. 1108 00:57:21,505 --> 00:57:23,380 Find a new gimmick and make a second record. 1109 00:57:23,463 --> 00:57:25,463 You should pardon the suggestion. 1110 00:57:25,546 --> 00:57:28,213 But with a property as hot as Bongo, I can go anywhere. 1111 00:57:28,296 --> 00:57:32,255 Sure, you can go to Nixa, Philips, even HMV, after the second record. 1112 00:57:32,755 --> 00:57:34,880 Remember, I have an option. 1113 00:57:34,963 --> 00:57:36,796 -Please. -(LOWERS VOLUME) 1114 00:57:36,880 --> 00:57:40,296 If you don't want the boy, release us. Let us make a little loot. 1115 00:57:40,380 --> 00:57:43,171 We consumed that few pounds of nicotine and salt beef a long time ago. 1116 00:57:43,255 --> 00:57:46,838 My boy, business is a very unfair thing. 1117 00:57:47,463 --> 00:57:50,296 That's why I'm going to give you a small percentage on your third record. 1118 00:57:50,380 --> 00:57:51,921 But we haven't made our second record yet! 1119 00:57:52,005 --> 00:57:54,838 First, we make a contract for the third, and then we discuss the second. 1120 00:57:54,921 --> 00:57:58,838 I see. So, you do want the boy? You can be frank with me, Mr Mayer. 1121 00:57:58,921 --> 00:58:03,130 The boy can be a first-class property with Garrick direction. Understand? 1122 00:58:03,213 --> 00:58:05,255 -(INTERCOM BUZZES) -Yes? 1123 00:58:05,338 --> 00:58:06,880 WOMAN: You car's here, Mr Mayer, 1124 00:58:06,963 --> 00:58:09,213 and the Dixie Collins press reception is in half an hour. 1125 00:58:09,296 --> 00:58:10,380 Thank you, miss. 1126 00:58:10,463 --> 00:58:13,838 Details, we'll discuss later. Now, I have to go to the Dorchester. 1127 00:58:13,921 --> 00:58:16,796 You know how demanding a real star can be, 1128 00:58:16,880 --> 00:58:19,171 even if she isn't twinkling too brightly at the moment. 1129 00:58:19,255 --> 00:58:22,046 I know I can trust you to give Bongo and me a fair deal, Mr Mayer. 1130 00:58:22,130 --> 00:58:24,921 You cannot! But what alternative do you have? 1131 00:58:25,796 --> 00:58:26,838 (DOOR CLOSES) 1132 00:58:27,213 --> 00:58:28,588 (PLAYING NOTES) 1133 00:58:30,796 --> 00:58:33,588 Smoking, smoking! What kind of a hobby is smoking? 1134 00:58:33,671 --> 00:58:35,755 You need a bint! I keep telling you. 1135 00:58:35,838 --> 00:58:38,963 'Bint is the best nerve tonic there is. I personally recommend it.' 1136 00:58:39,046 --> 00:58:40,130 Signed Beast. 1137 00:58:40,213 --> 00:58:41,921 -Can't you get off it? -Not since I was 12. 1138 00:58:42,005 --> 00:58:43,630 Sort of takes you by the throat, Bongo. 1139 00:58:43,713 --> 00:58:46,796 Got no time for all that jazz. Besides, I got other problems. 1140 00:58:46,880 --> 00:58:48,546 Wish I had other problems. 1141 00:58:49,130 --> 00:58:51,338 -Hi, guv. -So, what new gimmick have you spawned? 1142 00:58:51,421 --> 00:58:53,546 It's another Bongo in the moronic so far. 1143 00:58:53,630 --> 00:58:55,338 'When I beat my chick with a solid rock.' 1144 00:58:55,421 --> 00:58:56,588 Look, get with it, Beast. 1145 00:58:56,671 --> 00:58:58,005 Mayer wants something different! 1146 00:58:58,088 --> 00:59:00,630 So, why can't this be different? We could put some more echo on Bongo, 1147 00:59:00,713 --> 00:59:02,963 wire up something or other. Sing it for the guv, kid. 1148 00:59:03,046 --> 00:59:04,880 No, I just can't get with it today. 1149 00:59:04,963 --> 00:59:07,255 -I don't know what's the matter with me. -It's that mother of yours. 1150 00:59:07,338 --> 00:59:09,421 Hmm? Has she been here? 1151 00:59:09,505 --> 00:59:11,963 No, but she's been in all the expressos looking for me. 1152 00:59:12,046 --> 00:59:15,046 Mother! Hmm, Mother! 1153 00:59:16,046 --> 00:59:19,505 Mother! Maybe that's it! A new kind of rock-with-Mother song! 1154 00:59:19,588 --> 00:59:23,088 A sort of Oedipus rock! Yeah, that's what we should be doing, Beast! 1155 00:59:23,213 --> 00:59:24,546 Putting down in music what... 1156 00:59:24,630 --> 00:59:26,880 What Bongo and all the other kids in the country is worried about! 1157 00:59:27,088 --> 00:59:28,755 -Me? I'm just an ordinary kid. -Yeah, yeah. 1158 00:59:28,838 --> 00:59:30,130 Save the humility for the press. 1159 00:59:30,213 --> 00:59:32,921 Now, we've got to be analytical about this. 1160 00:59:33,046 --> 00:59:34,296 Well, look at the headlines you've had. 1161 00:59:34,380 --> 00:59:37,005 For a few days, you've become a sort of national anti-hero. 1162 00:59:37,088 --> 00:59:38,588 You're every poor little fish in the country, 1163 00:59:38,671 --> 00:59:39,963 only covered in gold chips! 1164 00:59:40,046 --> 00:59:42,796 -Who, me? -Yes, you, you talented little berk! 1165 00:59:42,880 --> 00:59:45,088 You've got a chip on your shoulder and an H-bomb in your pants. 1166 00:59:45,171 --> 00:59:47,005 A sneer, a twitch, a hell in your head! 1167 00:59:47,088 --> 00:59:49,963 It's you against the world, baby, and the world loves you for hating it. 1168 00:59:50,046 --> 00:59:52,338 That's what this is, a great hate number! 1169 00:59:52,421 --> 00:59:53,713 I've just had a vision! 1170 00:59:53,796 --> 00:59:55,838 That simple priest on TV the other night, 1171 00:59:55,921 --> 00:59:59,005 if he can get our message, the least we can do is get his! 1172 00:59:59,088 --> 01:00:01,046 Now, so far, what have we got in the act? 1173 01:00:01,130 --> 01:00:02,130 -Sex? -We've got. 1174 01:00:02,213 --> 01:00:04,130 -Beat? Violence? -We've got. We've got. We've got. 1175 01:00:04,255 --> 01:00:06,130 -Bash! We need more bash. -All that, we've got! 1176 01:00:06,463 --> 01:00:09,005 We've got it all, except one thing! 1177 01:00:12,213 --> 01:00:14,546 Religion! We've got to get religion! 1178 01:00:16,088 --> 01:00:17,796 Where are you going? Heaven? 1179 01:00:18,796 --> 01:00:19,838 (CAR HONKING) 1180 01:00:21,213 --> 01:00:24,671 Gent... Gent... Gentlemen! 1181 01:00:24,755 --> 01:00:27,963 So, Miss Collins is a little late. After all, she's a lady. Isn't she? 1182 01:00:28,088 --> 01:00:30,588 -Only by sex. -It's the routine star treatment. 1183 01:00:30,671 --> 01:00:33,005 I'm Surprised Dixie can still remember the routine. 1184 01:00:33,088 --> 01:00:35,880 Rosemary's getting so terribly late. I'm sorry, I really can't wait any more. 1185 01:00:35,963 --> 01:00:39,796 But Patricia, my sweet, I know how much Dixie is longing to talk to you. 1186 01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:41,838 So are plenty others, dear, provided I quote them. 1187 01:00:41,921 --> 01:00:45,213 What would we poor press agents do without your marvellous column? 1188 01:00:45,296 --> 01:00:47,130 Yes, have another cocktail. 1189 01:00:47,213 --> 01:00:50,463 It's a privilege for Garrick Records that Miss Collins comes to us. 1190 01:00:50,546 --> 01:00:53,380 For England, too, Mr Mayer. Falling stars are just what we need. 1191 01:00:53,463 --> 01:00:55,005 What are we playing at? 1192 01:00:55,088 --> 01:00:56,421 I'm tired and I've got a deadline to meet. 1193 01:00:56,505 --> 01:00:59,380 To me, dear, you always look as fresh as a midday edition. 1194 01:00:59,463 --> 01:01:01,338 I've got three more of these tea parties to get to. 1195 01:01:01,421 --> 01:01:03,380 No, Eddie, don't be like that! 1196 01:01:03,463 --> 01:01:07,171 Angels, in all these years, have I ever let you down? 1197 01:01:07,588 --> 01:01:09,505 Look, I know it's her natural environment, 1198 01:01:09,588 --> 01:01:12,796 but do you think you could possibly drag your client out of the bedroom? 1199 01:01:12,963 --> 01:01:18,046 Ladies and gentlemen of the press, your hostess, Miss Dixie Collins. 1200 01:01:18,338 --> 01:01:20,213 (MURMURING) 1201 01:01:21,005 --> 01:01:25,171 Hello, darlings! How perfectly wonderful of you all to come. 1202 01:01:25,255 --> 01:01:27,338 (REPORTERS SHOUTING QUESTIONS) 1203 01:01:29,171 --> 01:01:33,255 Boys, boys, please! Will some gorgeous gentleman get me a drink? 1204 01:01:33,338 --> 01:01:35,630 What exactly is the truth about your fourth marriage, Miss Collins? 1205 01:01:35,713 --> 01:01:37,838 The same tragedy as the third, darling, 1206 01:01:37,921 --> 01:01:40,171 but then, with me, everything goes in cycles. 1207 01:01:40,255 --> 01:01:42,588 Up and down, up and down! 1208 01:01:43,921 --> 01:01:46,338 Why is it so long since you visited England, Miss Collins? 1209 01:01:46,421 --> 01:01:49,088 Oh, you know, so many dates, so many husbands, 1210 01:01:49,171 --> 01:01:51,963 none of them English. What a pretty dress! 1211 01:01:52,380 --> 01:01:54,713 Dixie, there's some doubt about your date of birth. 1212 01:01:54,796 --> 01:01:56,088 Would you care to clear it up? 1213 01:01:56,171 --> 01:01:59,546 Certainly, darling. I'm Scorpio. (CHUCKLES) 1214 01:01:59,630 --> 01:02:00,755 And you're Patricia Lewis. 1215 01:02:00,838 --> 01:02:03,838 Simply everybody reads your column back in America. 1216 01:02:04,755 --> 01:02:05,796 -Hello! -Dixie, 1217 01:02:05,880 --> 01:02:08,255 whatever became of that young flamenco singer? 1218 01:02:08,338 --> 01:02:11,755 The California oranges just didn't agree with him, the poor darling, 1219 01:02:11,838 --> 01:02:13,796 so I re-exported him back to Spain. 1220 01:02:13,880 --> 01:02:15,588 MAN: Miss Collins. 1221 01:02:15,671 --> 01:02:18,838 Thank you. Gee, it's sure tough to get a drink at this party. 1222 01:02:19,171 --> 01:02:22,713 -She can look after herself, that girl. -Use has developed the muscles. 1223 01:02:22,796 --> 01:02:25,130 You got to admit it, she looks marvellous. 1224 01:02:25,213 --> 01:02:27,755 I admit it, but I can't enjoy it. 1225 01:02:27,838 --> 01:02:30,088 -Oh, no! -Which paper are you? 1226 01:02:30,171 --> 01:02:32,546 The Financial Times. I just had to see you, Mr Mayer. 1227 01:02:32,671 --> 01:02:34,838 I've got a great idea for Bongo. It's haunting me. 1228 01:02:34,921 --> 01:02:36,713 All right, but not now. Come to my office. 1229 01:02:36,796 --> 01:02:38,213 But it's almost classical. 1230 01:02:38,338 --> 01:02:41,463 At the same time, it's got a reverential attitude towards life. 1231 01:02:41,546 --> 01:02:45,880 -You're not holding my attention. Go! -It's a sort of Ave Maria with heart! 1232 01:02:46,463 --> 01:02:50,338 -Italian numbers are out. -In a word, Mr Mayer, religion! 1233 01:02:51,505 --> 01:02:54,255 You're a bloody nuisance, but you're a trier. 1234 01:02:54,796 --> 01:02:58,546 All right, I'll buy religion. So, take a drink and go. 1235 01:02:59,005 --> 01:03:00,046 (LAUGHTER) 1236 01:03:00,296 --> 01:03:01,463 There's a good one! 1237 01:03:01,546 --> 01:03:03,380 What shows are you doing here, Miss Collins? 1238 01:03:03,463 --> 01:03:05,963 Well, I know Gus has arranged a TV spectacular. 1239 01:03:06,046 --> 01:03:08,213 It's a beautiful show, beautiful! 1240 01:03:08,546 --> 01:03:09,838 What will the rest of the show be? 1241 01:03:09,921 --> 01:03:12,005 We hope to book some of that wonderful talent 1242 01:03:12,088 --> 01:03:13,963 you have so much of in this country. 1243 01:03:14,046 --> 01:03:16,963 -Like who, for example? -Like whom, for example? 1244 01:03:17,046 --> 01:03:20,546 -Well, like Bongo Herbert, for example. -(LAUGHING) 1245 01:03:20,630 --> 01:03:22,421 What do you think of Bongo Herbert, Dixie? 1246 01:03:22,505 --> 01:03:23,921 I'd just love another drink! 1247 01:03:24,005 --> 01:03:25,505 -To the rich in heart. -Thank you. 1248 01:03:25,588 --> 01:03:27,171 I'll get another. And thank you. 1249 01:03:27,255 --> 01:03:29,046 You've never even heard of Bongo, have you, Miss Collins? 1250 01:03:29,130 --> 01:03:31,005 Does anybody have an American cigarette? 1251 01:03:31,088 --> 01:03:33,630 Bongo is one of our most promising younger stars, 1252 01:03:33,713 --> 01:03:35,088 a real Garrick find. 1253 01:03:35,171 --> 01:03:38,046 I have always done everything I could to help young talent on. 1254 01:03:38,130 --> 01:03:39,546 -That's so true. -Can we say that 1255 01:03:39,630 --> 01:03:41,421 Bongo will be in your show, then, Miss Collins? 1256 01:03:41,505 --> 01:03:45,671 Any kid Gus Mayer says is promising is gonna get a big push from me. 1257 01:03:45,755 --> 01:03:47,088 -(ALL LAUGHING) -Got it? 1258 01:03:47,171 --> 01:03:49,505 Good quote. Well, that's it, everybody. Goodbye. 1259 01:03:49,588 --> 01:03:50,713 Anybody coming to the Savoy? 1260 01:03:50,796 --> 01:03:52,838 (ALL SHOUTING OVER EACH OTHER) 1261 01:03:55,255 --> 01:03:57,796 -Going so soon? -I'm sorry, Rosemary. 1262 01:03:57,880 --> 01:04:01,505 We've got four stars waiting for us, including Son of Lassie. 1263 01:04:02,421 --> 01:04:04,505 Jack, darling, why not stay? 1264 01:04:04,588 --> 01:04:07,755 I promise you, we'll give you a completely new angle. 1265 01:04:07,838 --> 01:04:10,046 Sorry, darling, she's had her moment. Bye. 1266 01:04:11,046 --> 01:04:13,546 Jack, darling! Jack! 1267 01:04:13,671 --> 01:04:15,380 So how are you, my precious? 1268 01:04:15,463 --> 01:04:17,630 Elated and exhausted, Gus. 1269 01:04:17,713 --> 01:04:19,796 We'll have one glass of champagne, alone. 1270 01:04:19,880 --> 01:04:22,671 No more for me, thanks. I'm getting a bit burpy. 1271 01:04:22,796 --> 01:04:24,880 And sorry I had to throw you to the wolves. 1272 01:04:25,130 --> 01:04:29,921 Any man who can pre-sell 50,000 records for me can throw me anywhere he likes. 1273 01:04:31,088 --> 01:04:34,421 To the too-long-delayed return of a great lady. 1274 01:04:36,130 --> 01:04:39,421 You know, Gus, I hope this whole thing comes off. 1275 01:04:40,005 --> 01:04:41,713 I'm getting so cold over there that, 1276 01:04:41,796 --> 01:04:44,088 for the first time in my life, I'm terrified. 1277 01:04:44,338 --> 01:04:46,255 Travel hopefully, darling. 1278 01:04:46,338 --> 01:04:48,921 I'm making a tele-recording made of the Dixie Collins show. 1279 01:04:49,005 --> 01:04:50,671 And I'll send it straight to New York. 1280 01:04:51,046 --> 01:04:52,921 They'll go mad for it! 1281 01:04:53,005 --> 01:04:55,796 (CHUCKLES) Gus! Would you like to be my sixth husband? 1282 01:04:55,880 --> 01:04:59,796 -Do I look like Henry VIII? -Who the hell is Pinky? 1283 01:04:59,921 --> 01:05:02,505 -Your second. -Oh, yes, the heel. 1284 01:05:05,005 --> 01:05:08,046 All these years, she didn't care about her darling son. 1285 01:05:08,130 --> 01:05:10,505 But now she thinks I'm making some money, she wants the lot. 1286 01:05:10,671 --> 01:05:14,255 You ought to go and see her, Bongo. She's probably very proud of you. 1287 01:05:14,338 --> 01:05:15,796 Well, she's too late. 1288 01:05:15,880 --> 01:05:18,463 I've always been alone, and that's the way it's gonna stay. 1289 01:05:18,546 --> 01:05:20,046 That's the way it is in this business. 1290 01:05:20,421 --> 01:05:23,546 You kid yourself from time to time, but really, you're always on your own. 1291 01:05:24,130 --> 01:05:26,213 But it's all right for you. You've got Johnny. 1292 01:05:26,296 --> 01:05:28,380 Oh, sure. So have you. 1293 01:05:28,963 --> 01:05:32,005 I'm just something he sells. Like rat poison or fish and chips. 1294 01:05:32,463 --> 01:05:35,171 It's funny, you don't like it because he sells you, 1295 01:05:35,255 --> 01:05:38,213 and I don't like it because he won't sell me. 1296 01:05:38,463 --> 01:05:39,921 But it's all right for you. 1297 01:05:40,005 --> 01:05:42,380 -You're sort of dedicated. -What to? Stripping? 1298 01:05:42,671 --> 01:05:45,796 What I mean is, to you, singing is sort of an art. 1299 01:05:45,880 --> 01:05:47,421 Perhaps that's why no one will buy it. 1300 01:05:48,005 --> 01:05:51,505 For me, it's more like a drug. Takes my mind off quite a few things. 1301 01:05:51,713 --> 01:05:53,796 What are you doing after the show, sweetie? 1302 01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:57,046 Meeting my boyfriend in the vice squad. Want to come? 1303 01:06:00,630 --> 01:06:02,671 (CHATTERING) 1304 01:06:06,921 --> 01:06:09,505 So, this is where you come in your spare time. 1305 01:06:09,838 --> 01:06:11,880 We'll have to watch your voice doesn't start breaking. 1306 01:06:11,963 --> 01:06:14,838 -I just fancied a few drinks. -Big, big problems he has! 1307 01:06:15,046 --> 01:06:17,213 All I have to worry about is finding numbers for him, 1308 01:06:17,296 --> 01:06:19,963 fixing records, booking him on TV shows. All the rest, he can do himself! 1309 01:06:20,088 --> 01:06:21,880 Don't pick on the kid. He was lonely. 1310 01:06:21,963 --> 01:06:23,921 So, little white mother Maisie is comforting him. 1311 01:06:24,005 --> 01:06:26,963 Why not? Do you have an exclusive contract on my spare time? 1312 01:06:27,046 --> 01:06:30,296 -Look, I just fancied a few drinks. -So, now you've had them. Now, get out! 1313 01:06:30,421 --> 01:06:31,630 I told you not to push him around. 1314 01:06:31,713 --> 01:06:33,296 I'll bear in mind what you say. Blow, Bongo! 1315 01:06:33,380 --> 01:06:35,630 -He's my guest. -Drop it, Maisie. I'm going. 1316 01:06:35,713 --> 01:06:37,213 -Now, look. -You look! 1317 01:06:37,463 --> 01:06:39,213 I've got 50% of what he's got. 1318 01:06:39,296 --> 01:06:40,755 He hasn't got 50% of what I've got. 1319 01:06:40,838 --> 01:06:43,630 If that remark is supposed to refer to me, you can take it right back! 1320 01:06:43,713 --> 01:06:44,963 You're a big help, you are! 1321 01:06:45,588 --> 01:06:47,505 I need the kid for work, and you're busy getting him drunk. 1322 01:06:47,588 --> 01:06:49,213 What are you, a sadist or something? 1323 01:06:49,755 --> 01:06:52,005 Most of the time I'm with you, I wish I was! 1324 01:06:52,088 --> 01:06:53,755 Oh, now, look, Maisie doll, 1325 01:06:53,838 --> 01:06:55,921 I've been working very hard, I'm under a lot of tension! 1326 01:06:56,005 --> 01:06:57,796 Well, stay under and drown! 1327 01:06:58,130 --> 01:07:00,213 (MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO) 1328 01:07:01,005 --> 01:07:04,421 Ah, what the hell. For art, one has to make sacrifices. 1329 01:07:25,046 --> 01:07:27,171 (VOCALISING) 1330 01:07:30,046 --> 01:07:32,130 -(PHONE RINGING) -Hell! 1331 01:07:33,296 --> 01:07:34,421 If it's you, I'm asleep! 1332 01:07:34,921 --> 01:07:36,838 You want to be careful whom you say you're not in to. 1333 01:07:37,255 --> 01:07:40,421 I am being careful. That's why I'm telling you I'm not in. 1334 01:07:40,505 --> 01:07:41,713 What was it you required? 1335 01:07:42,588 --> 01:07:45,171 Just because we have a little scene every so often, 1336 01:07:45,713 --> 01:07:48,296 I mean, you don't have to hibernate. 1337 01:07:49,588 --> 01:07:52,963 -Oh, come over here, baby. -No! 1338 01:07:54,630 --> 01:07:57,921 I'm having a nice quiet read, and it's very relaxing. 1339 01:07:58,463 --> 01:08:00,463 If you were a gentleman, you'd come over here. 1340 01:08:01,130 --> 01:08:04,005 But you can... Well, you can read here, baby. 1341 01:08:04,463 --> 01:08:07,296 Come on, you can relax here. 1342 01:08:07,671 --> 01:08:09,546 Why can't you come over here, anyway? 1343 01:08:09,630 --> 01:08:11,171 Well, I'd love to, baby. Really, I would. 1344 01:08:11,380 --> 01:08:14,296 But, well, I've got a lot of very important calls coming through. 1345 01:08:14,380 --> 01:08:16,046 I'm expecting Hollywood on the line any minute now. 1346 01:08:16,130 --> 01:08:17,671 You know, it's mid-morning over there. 1347 01:08:17,838 --> 01:08:19,880 Thanks for the geography lesson, and good night! 1348 01:08:19,963 --> 01:08:24,213 Oh! Maisie, but I've got so many important things to discuss with you. 1349 01:08:24,505 --> 01:08:27,005 Something... Well, something that really means our whole future. 1350 01:08:27,088 --> 01:08:28,130 Our whole future? 1351 01:08:28,213 --> 01:08:32,296 Yes, that's right, baby. Oh, come over. There's so much I want to tell you. 1352 01:08:32,380 --> 01:08:35,380 Well, maybe I will. Maybe I will. Of course, I have to dress first. 1353 01:08:35,463 --> 01:08:36,963 Oh! That's great, baby! That's great. 1354 01:08:37,046 --> 01:08:39,338 Look, I'll go and make us some coffee, you come right over. 1355 01:08:39,421 --> 01:08:41,838 You know, I've got so many business problems. 1356 01:08:41,921 --> 01:08:43,880 What have you and me got to do with business problems? 1357 01:08:43,963 --> 01:08:46,088 Well, isn't it of some interest to you that I succeed? 1358 01:08:46,171 --> 01:08:47,463 You know, if Bongo doesn't get that... 1359 01:08:47,546 --> 01:08:49,505 So, it's Bongo! You don't want me, 1360 01:08:49,588 --> 01:08:51,963 you just want someone to talk to about that bloody Bongo! 1361 01:08:52,046 --> 01:08:54,755 -Who else have I go to talk to? -I'm not in a talking mood. 1362 01:08:54,838 --> 01:08:56,463 I'm sorry I insulted your ignorance 1363 01:08:56,546 --> 01:08:58,088 by even suggesting that I could talk to you! 1364 01:08:58,171 --> 01:08:59,463 You only got up in the middle of the night 1365 01:08:59,546 --> 01:09:00,671 because you want a little rabbit! 1366 01:09:00,755 --> 01:09:02,755 You want to chat it up with someone! 1367 01:09:02,838 --> 01:09:05,463 -It's an insult! You're kinky! -Who's kinky? 1368 01:09:05,546 --> 01:09:07,046 -You're bent! -Who's bent? 1369 01:09:07,130 --> 01:09:08,963 -Don't you shout at me! -Who's shouting? 1370 01:09:09,046 --> 01:09:11,005 -Good night! -Good night! 1371 01:09:15,505 --> 01:09:17,546 (ORCHESTRAL FANFARE PLAYING) 1372 01:09:19,171 --> 01:09:21,130 (DRUMS BEATING) 1373 01:09:27,546 --> 01:09:28,963 Thank you. Thank you. 1374 01:09:29,213 --> 01:09:33,005 And now, straight from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas, 1375 01:09:33,421 --> 01:09:36,963 we are very happy to be able to afford the fantabulous, 1376 01:09:37,046 --> 01:09:39,505 fantastico Dixie Collins! 1377 01:09:39,630 --> 01:09:41,755 (BIG BAND MUSICAL INTRO) 1378 01:10:06,421 --> 01:10:08,713 (DISTANT APPLAUSE) 1379 01:10:09,630 --> 01:10:12,588 Well, this is it, golden boy! Hey, hey. 1380 01:10:12,713 --> 01:10:14,963 Smoking when that velvet voice is about to perform? 1381 01:10:15,046 --> 01:10:17,463 She's around here somewhere, I just know she's around here somewhere. 1382 01:10:17,671 --> 01:10:20,796 Don't tell me my little virgin's found himself a piece of frontline frippet? 1383 01:10:21,046 --> 01:10:23,588 It's my mother I'm talking about. She's around here somewhere. 1384 01:10:23,671 --> 01:10:26,588 So, where else should a boy's mother be but at his side at a time like this? 1385 01:10:26,671 --> 01:10:29,088 Edna phoned me she's on the warpath. She's got the needle to me. 1386 01:10:29,171 --> 01:10:30,380 And she wants half my money. 1387 01:10:30,463 --> 01:10:32,963 I'd give her half of mine if I thought it would make her happy. 1388 01:10:33,046 --> 01:10:34,421 -You would? -Look, 1389 01:10:34,588 --> 01:10:36,796 it isn't as simple as all that. Now, listen to me, kid. 1390 01:10:36,880 --> 01:10:39,505 She won't come around here. You have my personal guarantee. 1391 01:10:39,588 --> 01:10:42,088 -Fix her for me, Johnny. -Sure, I'll fix her for you! 1392 01:10:42,171 --> 01:10:45,588 I'm your manager, aren't I? Your friend, your chum, your protector. 1393 01:10:45,755 --> 01:10:47,671 Now, go out there and kill 'em! 1394 01:10:47,880 --> 01:10:50,380 Tonight, eight million telly-hugging imbeciles 1395 01:10:50,463 --> 01:10:53,171 are going to fall in love with you simultaneously! 1396 01:10:53,880 --> 01:10:56,880 -(APPLAUSE) -Thank you! Thank you, all! 1397 01:10:57,255 --> 01:11:00,588 You, too, up there! It's wonderful to know you still love me! 1398 01:11:00,880 --> 01:11:05,046 Now, here's a new singer making his very first variety appearance. 1399 01:11:05,255 --> 01:11:08,546 Your own Bongo Herbert! 1400 01:11:08,630 --> 01:11:10,755 (APPLAUSE AND CHEERING) 1401 01:11:13,838 --> 01:11:15,005 Thank you, thank you very much. 1402 01:11:17,755 --> 01:11:20,171 Thank you very much, thank you very much indeed. 1403 01:11:20,630 --> 01:11:23,713 It's not generally known that I'm a deeply religious boy. 1404 01:11:23,880 --> 01:11:27,338 And here in this theatre tonight, we're glad it's Sunday, because, 1405 01:11:27,588 --> 01:11:30,755 well, we've had a number specially written for this show. 1406 01:11:30,838 --> 01:11:32,838 We'd like to dedicate it to... 1407 01:11:32,921 --> 01:11:36,005 To a lady who taught us that there's someone bigger than you or I, 1408 01:11:36,421 --> 01:11:37,630 my mother. 1409 01:11:38,713 --> 01:11:42,380 For my mother I'd like to sing for you my latest recording, 1410 01:11:42,463 --> 01:11:44,963 The Shrine on the Second Floor. Take it, Bert. 1411 01:11:45,130 --> 01:11:47,213 (MUSICAL INTRO) 1412 01:11:50,296 --> 01:11:55,338 ♪ I was born in the heart of a city 1413 01:11:56,130 --> 01:12:01,255 ♪ In a room that I'll always adore 1414 01:12:01,963 --> 01:12:04,796 ♪ Though it's not much to see 1415 01:12:04,963 --> 01:12:07,713 ♪ It's like heaven to me 1416 01:12:08,463 --> 01:12:13,088 ♪ The shrine on the second floor 1417 01:12:13,588 --> 01:12:18,463 ♪ There's a beautiful grey-haired Madonna 1418 01:12:19,421 --> 01:12:24,796 ♪ Who once taught me what life had in store 1419 01:12:25,296 --> 01:12:31,171 ♪ And I lift up my eyes to that saint in disguise 1420 01:12:31,505 --> 01:12:36,088 ♪ In the shrine on the second floor 1421 01:12:36,171 --> 01:12:37,921 (CHOIR VOCALISING) 1422 01:12:38,005 --> 01:12:43,005 ♪ Whenever my troubles seem too much to bear 1423 01:12:43,796 --> 01:12:47,505 ♪ I look for the answer, and then 1424 01:12:47,630 --> 01:12:49,505 (CHOIR CONTINUES) 1425 01:12:49,755 --> 01:12:55,796 ♪ I kneel down and see that light shining there 1426 01:12:56,130 --> 01:13:00,088 ♪ And everything turns out right again 1427 01:13:02,005 --> 01:13:07,255 ♪ When I'm old and I find that I'm lonely 1428 01:13:07,796 --> 01:13:12,255 ♪ I'll return to my heaven once more 1429 01:13:13,880 --> 01:13:20,963 ♪ I'll remember the face of a lady of grace 1430 01:13:21,671 --> 01:13:27,380 ♪ On the shrine on the second floor 1431 01:13:28,421 --> 01:13:33,630 ♪ When I'm old and I find that I'm lonely 1432 01:13:34,588 --> 01:13:38,880 ♪ I'll return to my heaven once more 1433 01:13:40,796 --> 01:13:44,296 ♪ I'll remember the face 1434 01:13:44,380 --> 01:13:48,963 ♪ Of a lady of grace 1435 01:13:49,463 --> 01:13:51,171 ♪ On the shrine 1436 01:13:51,255 --> 01:13:57,463 ♪ On the second floor ♪ 1437 01:13:57,713 --> 01:13:59,046 (CHEERING AND WHISTLING) 1438 01:14:10,380 --> 01:14:12,380 -That was lovely, wasn't it? -Mmm? 1439 01:14:18,296 --> 01:14:22,755 You've sold another 50,000 records tonight, my darling Dixie. 50,000! 1440 01:14:22,838 --> 01:14:24,713 Gus, if that doesn't get me a New York series, 1441 01:14:24,796 --> 01:14:26,171 -I'll just have to marry a prince! -(BOTH LAUGHING) 1442 01:14:26,255 --> 01:14:27,713 -(KNOCK AT DOOR) -Yes? 1443 01:14:27,838 --> 01:14:31,213 -Only me. Can I bring my daughter in? -Of course. Gus, fix some drinks. 1444 01:14:31,380 --> 01:14:33,838 -Yes. -Oh, Ms Collins, it was simply splendid. 1445 01:14:33,921 --> 01:14:37,421 All my chums were there. Goodness, we couldn't have adored it more. 1446 01:14:37,505 --> 01:14:38,671 -Oh, thank you. -I told you 1447 01:14:38,755 --> 01:14:41,213 everyone will be utterly delighted to have you back. 1448 01:14:41,296 --> 01:14:43,421 Rosemary, I'm delighted to have me back, too. 1449 01:14:43,505 --> 01:14:46,463 Mumsy, I do wish you'd let me go on the stage. 1450 01:14:46,546 --> 01:14:48,755 I will, darling, if you ever get an offer. 1451 01:14:48,838 --> 01:14:50,880 So far you've not had an offer of any sort. 1452 01:14:50,963 --> 01:14:54,505 Mumsy, that's quite unfair. It's only my third season. 1453 01:14:54,838 --> 01:14:56,546 Cynthia, you have lipstick on your teeth. 1454 01:14:56,630 --> 01:14:59,088 It was absolutely topping, Miss Collins. 1455 01:14:59,171 --> 01:15:03,213 -Word of an officer and a gentleman. -Oh, rather. Oh, goodness! 1456 01:15:04,380 --> 01:15:07,588 You did very well, my little robin! It was a most moving experience! 1457 01:15:07,671 --> 01:15:09,296 I got a message from Miss Collins herself. 1458 01:15:09,380 --> 01:15:11,171 She's invited me 'round to her dressing room for a drink. 1459 01:15:11,296 --> 01:15:14,088 This is better than I thought. If she takes a fancy to you, 1460 01:15:14,171 --> 01:15:16,421 I may be able to book you onto any other shows she's doing. 1461 01:15:16,796 --> 01:15:19,213 You've got to get into the habit of cultivating the right people, 1462 01:15:19,296 --> 01:15:21,588 because every right person, you know, makes you a little more right. 1463 01:15:21,671 --> 01:15:23,338 Ah, Harry, just the man we're looking for. Look. 1464 01:15:23,421 --> 01:15:25,130 I want you to take a picture of the boy with Miss Collins. 1465 01:15:25,213 --> 01:15:27,213 -They won't let us in. -What do you mean they won't let you in? 1466 01:15:27,296 --> 01:15:28,505 You've got to be with the right people. 1467 01:15:28,588 --> 01:15:30,046 Now, you wait there. 1468 01:15:31,171 --> 01:15:33,088 -Now, may we... -No press in here, I'm afraid. 1469 01:15:33,171 --> 01:15:35,046 -But... -Not even the Financial Times. 1470 01:15:35,130 --> 01:15:38,255 Can't you recognise fellow artistes? This is Bongo Herbert. 1471 01:15:38,338 --> 01:15:40,838 Oh, I invited Mr Herbert to come around for a drink. 1472 01:15:40,921 --> 01:15:44,338 Well, in that case, do come in, Mr Herbert. With your father. 1473 01:15:44,463 --> 01:15:49,005 Oh, isn't he sweet? Isn't he pure, pure heaven? 1474 01:15:49,130 --> 01:15:51,963 Miss Collins, I want to tell you what a wonderful experience it was 1475 01:15:52,046 --> 01:15:55,130 to witness the triumphant return of one of the greatest. 1476 01:15:55,380 --> 01:15:57,338 I'm sure you've always prayed for me. 1477 01:15:57,421 --> 01:16:00,046 The face is familiar, but I can't place the flattery. 1478 01:16:00,130 --> 01:16:02,046 -Johnny Jackson. -Manager and friend... 1479 01:16:02,130 --> 01:16:03,296 I didn't know the two went together. 1480 01:16:03,380 --> 01:16:06,130 ...to the star of the future, Bongo Herbert. 1481 01:16:06,255 --> 01:16:10,088 Well, stars of present and future, I must love you and leave you all. 1482 01:16:10,588 --> 01:16:12,546 Late nights are hell for a man with a stomach condition. 1483 01:16:12,630 --> 01:16:13,713 Good night. 1484 01:16:13,796 --> 01:16:15,588 -Sleep well, darling. -I'll let you know. 1485 01:16:15,713 --> 01:16:18,755 Shrine is a masterpiece. Come to my office tomorrow. 1486 01:16:18,880 --> 01:16:20,130 Pleasure. 1487 01:16:20,296 --> 01:16:22,463 I asked you around for drinks, Bongo, to tell you, 1488 01:16:22,546 --> 01:16:25,755 I think you've got an awful lot to offer, and I hope I can help you. 1489 01:16:25,838 --> 01:16:28,213 Oh, goodness, Bongo, do say something. 1490 01:16:28,505 --> 01:16:30,796 Yes, speak to Cynthia. She's your generation. 1491 01:16:30,963 --> 01:16:33,630 Something in Cockney. Apples and pears and things. 1492 01:16:34,505 --> 01:16:36,296 I thought you was marvellous, Miss Collins. 1493 01:16:36,463 --> 01:16:38,921 -WOMEN: Ah. -Now, isn't that nice? 1494 01:16:39,171 --> 01:16:41,088 It was nice of you to come 'round. 1495 01:16:41,171 --> 01:16:44,005 So sorry to have to rush you, but Miss Collins has to get dressed. 1496 01:16:44,171 --> 01:16:47,088 I've always thought you was marvellous, Miss Collins, ever since I was a kid. 1497 01:16:47,921 --> 01:16:50,963 -Funnily enough, so have I. -I happen to have a photographer. 1498 01:16:51,046 --> 01:16:53,963 No more photographs. We've had all the... 1499 01:16:54,046 --> 01:16:56,380 Just one for the kid's album. Please, Miss Collins. 1500 01:16:57,255 --> 01:16:59,296 I can't think of a cuter album to be in. 1501 01:16:59,380 --> 01:17:01,005 Go on, get your masterpiece. It may be royalty next. 1502 01:17:01,088 --> 01:17:02,546 Flash them pearlies, Bongo. 1503 01:17:02,630 --> 01:17:05,130 That's enough. Just one for the album. 1504 01:17:05,213 --> 01:17:07,338 Miss Collins, you have just brought 1505 01:17:07,421 --> 01:17:10,296 a moment of happiness into the life of a deprived child. 1506 01:17:10,546 --> 01:17:11,921 From now on, I'm personally going to see 1507 01:17:12,005 --> 01:17:15,421 that he's available for any show of yours at any time. 1508 01:17:15,546 --> 01:17:18,880 Bless you. Home to beddy-byes, Bongo baby. 1509 01:17:19,005 --> 01:17:21,130 -Good night. -Good night, doll. 1510 01:17:21,213 --> 01:17:22,255 (DOOR CLOSES) 1511 01:17:22,755 --> 01:17:24,255 You really think I did all right tonight, Guv? 1512 01:17:24,338 --> 01:17:26,921 You have done well tonight, drummer boy. So have I. 1513 01:17:27,005 --> 01:17:28,546 All you need to succeed in this business 1514 01:17:28,630 --> 01:17:30,546 is one success after another. 1515 01:17:31,171 --> 01:17:32,838 Now, remember, on this battlefield, 1516 01:17:32,921 --> 01:17:35,921 the only mercy shown to losers is to finish 'em off. But not to worry. 1517 01:17:36,046 --> 01:17:39,005 -Home, Bongo. See you in the morning. -But I don't want to go home. 1518 01:17:39,088 --> 01:17:41,421 Well, what's the matter, kid? Aren't you comfortable in Beast's flat? 1519 01:17:41,505 --> 01:17:43,838 Well, look now, don't let those girls of his get you down. 1520 01:17:43,921 --> 01:17:46,796 Here's a bonus. Stop off and buy yourself a sandwich. 1521 01:17:46,921 --> 01:17:48,213 Taxi! 1522 01:17:48,671 --> 01:17:50,005 (CAR APPROACHING) 1523 01:17:51,546 --> 01:17:54,213 This is better than beating your brains out at Leon's. 1524 01:17:54,296 --> 01:17:56,171 The Caprice. And don't eat too much! 1525 01:18:01,421 --> 01:18:04,046 -Oh, sorry, miss. -It's okay, I'm just leaving. 1526 01:18:04,130 --> 01:18:06,171 -Would you like the flowers? -Ohh... 1527 01:18:06,421 --> 01:18:07,463 They're yours. 1528 01:18:07,546 --> 01:18:09,671 It's lovely having you back again, Miss Collins. 1529 01:18:09,921 --> 01:18:12,796 I remember when you done your first show here. 1530 01:18:12,880 --> 01:18:14,463 So do I. 1531 01:18:14,546 --> 01:18:16,213 -(CLEANING LADY SIGHS) -Oh, uh... 1532 01:18:16,963 --> 01:18:20,213 -What's the stage doorman called? -Arthur. 1533 01:18:20,588 --> 01:18:22,088 That's right, Arthur. 1534 01:18:26,421 --> 01:18:29,296 -Good night, Arthur. -You remembered my name. 1535 01:18:29,838 --> 01:18:31,755 But of course. Good night. 1536 01:18:33,296 --> 01:18:34,963 Could I have your autograph, Miss Collins, please? 1537 01:18:35,046 --> 01:18:36,338 Of course, thank you. 1538 01:18:36,505 --> 01:18:37,796 -Like the show? -Loved it. 1539 01:18:37,880 --> 01:18:39,630 -Good. You, too? -You gave a divine performance. 1540 01:18:39,713 --> 01:18:41,796 -Could you sign 'To Harry', please? -Yes, I'll do that. 1541 01:18:41,880 --> 01:18:43,213 -Thank you. -Bye-bye. 1542 01:18:43,338 --> 01:18:45,838 -Oh, Miss Collins. -Well, hello. 1543 01:18:45,921 --> 01:18:47,171 The photographers have all gone. 1544 01:18:47,255 --> 01:18:49,713 Oh, I hate 'em. They try make you look a proper Charlie. 1545 01:18:49,796 --> 01:18:51,671 You look more of a Charlie when they leave you alone! 1546 01:18:51,755 --> 01:18:52,838 Well, good night again. 1547 01:18:52,921 --> 01:18:55,713 Uh, Miss Collins, you... You asked me for a drink. 1548 01:18:55,796 --> 01:18:58,338 So I did. Well, you better come and have one then. 1549 01:18:58,421 --> 01:19:00,046 What I have I got to lose? My virtue? 1550 01:19:15,338 --> 01:19:17,421 (WOMEN SQUEALING) 1551 01:19:31,630 --> 01:19:34,963 -Relax, let yourself go. -Cor, what a place! 1552 01:19:35,546 --> 01:19:39,005 -Mix me a champagne cocktail, darling. -Yes, of course, but I've never... 1553 01:19:39,088 --> 01:19:41,255 Oh, what am I saying? I'll mix it. 1554 01:19:43,963 --> 01:19:45,546 Maybe you'd like to wash your hands or something. 1555 01:19:45,630 --> 01:19:49,255 Oh, no, thanks. I washed my hands in the dressing room, before the show. 1556 01:19:49,796 --> 01:19:51,921 -I know what that is. -Good. Then, open it. 1557 01:19:52,338 --> 01:19:54,421 I bet your manager gives you lots of that to drink. 1558 01:19:54,505 --> 01:19:56,463 Johnny's not too bad when you get to know him. 1559 01:19:56,671 --> 01:19:58,921 He gave me a quid tonight to buy coffee and sandwiches. 1560 01:19:59,421 --> 01:20:01,546 I'd like to see his face now, if he could see me. 1561 01:20:01,630 --> 01:20:03,005 -(CORK POPS) -Gave you a quid? 1562 01:20:03,088 --> 01:20:06,255 Oh, yes, he's all right with money. He gives me wages every week. 1563 01:20:06,338 --> 01:20:09,088 And even then, he's always slipping me half a bob for this or that. 1564 01:20:09,421 --> 01:20:11,130 Is he your manager or your owner? 1565 01:20:11,213 --> 01:20:14,046 He's my manager. I owe everything I am to him. 1566 01:20:14,296 --> 01:20:15,588 All the best, then. 1567 01:20:17,796 --> 01:20:19,921 I can see you're used to champagne cocktails. 1568 01:20:20,005 --> 01:20:21,296 Nice drink, innit? 1569 01:20:21,380 --> 01:20:25,421 -Very nice. Help yourself to another. -Thanks. Don't mind if I do. 1570 01:20:26,255 --> 01:20:28,546 You mean this manager of yours pays you a salary? 1571 01:20:28,630 --> 01:20:30,296 What do you mean? Wages, like? 1572 01:20:30,421 --> 01:20:32,213 What do you do here? Drop of this, drop of that? 1573 01:20:32,296 --> 01:20:34,671 That's it. Not too much of that. 1574 01:20:35,296 --> 01:20:37,546 Well, it's not like wages exactly. 1575 01:20:37,713 --> 01:20:40,088 Not like I used to get when I was working the Fun Fair. 1576 01:20:40,755 --> 01:20:42,213 We go halves, see. 1577 01:20:42,296 --> 01:20:44,713 Everything what I earn, we share and share alike. 1578 01:20:44,880 --> 01:20:46,755 Very nice of Johnny, really. 1579 01:20:47,630 --> 01:20:49,421 -Cheerio, then. -Cheerio. 1580 01:20:49,880 --> 01:20:52,630 You've made a couple of records, too, I understand? 1581 01:20:52,713 --> 01:20:53,755 (COUGHING) 1582 01:20:53,880 --> 01:20:56,171 Goes up your nose if you drink it too fast! 1583 01:20:56,755 --> 01:20:59,130 Yes, The Shrine on the Second Floor number's my second. 1584 01:20:59,421 --> 01:21:00,546 How do you think it'll go? 1585 01:21:00,880 --> 01:21:04,505 I understand there's a market, although personally, mothers leave me cold. 1586 01:21:04,796 --> 01:21:08,463 They do? Me, too. I hate mothers. 1587 01:21:09,005 --> 01:21:10,588 Do you know, when I was a kid in the war, 1588 01:21:10,671 --> 01:21:13,255 my mother used to leave me to play on the bombsite all day, 1589 01:21:13,588 --> 01:21:15,255 while she went out and worked in a munitions factory. 1590 01:21:15,671 --> 01:21:18,171 I suppose we all had to do our bit. 1591 01:21:18,255 --> 01:21:20,713 I know I did. Often. 1592 01:21:21,588 --> 01:21:23,130 I think I'll have another one of these. 1593 01:21:23,213 --> 01:21:25,338 Take it easy, now. Have you eaten tonight? 1594 01:21:25,671 --> 01:21:29,213 No, I haven't eaten all day. Too sort of nervous. 1595 01:21:30,213 --> 01:21:32,505 I bet you never get nervous, Dixie. 1596 01:21:32,588 --> 01:21:35,171 I bet nothing in the whole world ever makes you nervous. 1597 01:21:36,671 --> 01:21:40,005 You know, you wouldn't think so to look at me, 1598 01:21:40,088 --> 01:21:41,796 but I'm really a very nervous type. 1599 01:21:42,213 --> 01:21:45,296 -Ohh! -Oopsy you, I think maybe you are. 1600 01:21:45,380 --> 01:21:46,796 Sit down. 1601 01:21:55,421 --> 01:21:58,046 I never, ever thought I'd ever have a drink with you, Dixie. 1602 01:21:59,546 --> 01:22:03,505 If anybody had said I would, I'd have said, 'Never.' 1603 01:22:04,380 --> 01:22:08,380 You're looking a little pale. I think perhaps I ought to send you home. 1604 01:22:08,463 --> 01:22:11,005 I'm never going home, never, not ever. 1605 01:22:12,046 --> 01:22:15,255 -I've got a headache. -I'll get you a hangover pill. 1606 01:22:15,380 --> 01:22:18,671 Don't worry, I'll get it. Is it in there? I can look after myself. 1607 01:22:18,755 --> 01:22:19,838 Don't you worry. 1608 01:22:20,046 --> 01:22:21,963 -Look after myself, he says. -Cor! 1609 01:22:23,338 --> 01:22:24,838 -It's really lovely. -Oh, dear. 1610 01:22:24,921 --> 01:22:26,671 It really is very, very lovely. 1611 01:22:26,755 --> 01:22:29,380 I shouldn't have let you take those drinks so fast. 1612 01:22:29,546 --> 01:22:32,880 How was I to know your manager starves you? Here. 1613 01:22:34,255 --> 01:22:35,921 You've been a perfect lady to me, Dixie. 1614 01:22:36,005 --> 01:22:37,505 Does that feel better? 1615 01:22:37,630 --> 01:22:39,796 It's the loveliest feeling I ever had in my life. 1616 01:22:39,880 --> 01:22:40,963 Good. 1617 01:22:41,046 --> 01:22:45,130 This is so comfy, so very, very comfy. 1618 01:23:07,755 --> 01:23:09,171 Oh, dear. 1619 01:23:16,671 --> 01:23:20,005 -(KNOCKS ON DOOR) -Are you awake, darling? 1620 01:23:21,171 --> 01:23:22,713 Come in, darling. 1621 01:23:23,338 --> 01:23:24,713 Only me. 1622 01:23:25,796 --> 01:23:28,838 -I hope you had a good sleep. -Wonderful! 1623 01:23:28,963 --> 01:23:31,796 Such a success, darling. They're all raving about... 1624 01:23:31,880 --> 01:23:33,046 Really? Let me see. 1625 01:23:33,171 --> 01:23:35,213 It's a wonderful press. 1626 01:23:35,838 --> 01:23:38,296 All the pictures of you have come out so well. 1627 01:23:39,546 --> 01:23:41,630 Here's another one, darling. 1628 01:23:42,880 --> 01:23:45,713 You've done a great job, Rosemary. I want you to know that. 1629 01:23:45,796 --> 01:23:47,338 You can hardly blame me, darling. 1630 01:23:47,421 --> 01:23:49,463 If you insist on asking a snotty-nosed 1631 01:23:49,546 --> 01:23:51,255 little teddy boy 'round to your dressing room. 1632 01:23:51,796 --> 01:23:54,671 Rosemary, darling, take it very easy. 1633 01:23:54,755 --> 01:23:57,755 Because you're in terrible danger of losing your livelihood. 1634 01:23:57,921 --> 01:24:02,130 -(KNOCKING) -Good morning! May I come in? 1635 01:24:02,213 --> 01:24:04,380 -I'd advise you not to. -Good morning, Gus. 1636 01:24:04,463 --> 01:24:07,755 I salute you, my darling. What sensational reviews! 1637 01:24:07,838 --> 01:24:09,546 I've done my best. For weeks now, 1638 01:24:09,630 --> 01:24:11,671 I've practically been sleeping with the gentlemen of the press. 1639 01:24:11,755 --> 01:24:12,963 Don't be modest, darling. 1640 01:24:13,046 --> 01:24:15,046 Do I detect a certain amount of tension? 1641 01:24:15,130 --> 01:24:17,838 Dixie's a little concerned about the space given to Bongo Herbert. 1642 01:24:17,921 --> 01:24:23,213 (LAUGHS) Both Garrick stars! Both with records out this week! 1643 01:24:23,296 --> 01:24:24,630 It's marvellous. 1644 01:24:25,255 --> 01:24:28,005 That's what I always say, go straight to the horse's mouth 1645 01:24:28,088 --> 01:24:30,505 and you get a load of horse blossoms. 1646 01:24:30,588 --> 01:24:32,255 -(PHONE RINGS) -Take it away. 1647 01:24:32,338 --> 01:24:34,255 -Let's be big about this. -Why? 1648 01:24:34,380 --> 01:24:37,838 -Associated Press. -I'll take it. Give it to me! 1649 01:24:38,630 --> 01:24:40,921 Yes, this is Dixie Collins. 1650 01:24:41,505 --> 01:24:44,046 Well, I'm a little overwhelmed, of course. 1651 01:24:44,630 --> 01:24:47,463 Oh, I was delighted with Bongo's success. 1652 01:24:47,546 --> 01:24:52,130 He's such a sweet, talented kid. I'm sure he'll go far. Mmm. 1653 01:24:52,630 --> 01:24:56,088 In fact, I'm giving him a little party to celebrate his success. 1654 01:24:56,630 --> 01:24:58,963 That's right. Bye. 1655 01:24:59,046 --> 01:25:00,838 -A party? -Oh, what the hell, why not? 1656 01:25:00,921 --> 01:25:02,255 He's really a very cute boy. 1657 01:25:02,380 --> 01:25:04,005 -(BUZZER RINGS) -Let the breakfast in, Rosemary. 1658 01:25:04,088 --> 01:25:05,130 You're hired again. 1659 01:25:05,213 --> 01:25:07,671 That's what I call taking it like a real pro. 1660 01:25:07,755 --> 01:25:10,838 Tell me, Gus, is the kid really that naive or is it an act? 1661 01:25:10,963 --> 01:25:14,755 Six months of such naiveté and he'll be earning 1,000 a week! 1662 01:25:14,880 --> 01:25:17,838 That'll be a neat 500 for that enterprising manager of his. 1663 01:25:17,921 --> 01:25:18,963 How so? 1664 01:25:19,088 --> 01:25:21,296 He's owns 50% of Bongo. 1665 01:25:21,380 --> 01:25:23,630 Fifty? This is monstrous! 1666 01:25:24,088 --> 01:25:26,838 -50%? -Have some coffee, Gus. 1667 01:25:26,921 --> 01:25:31,046 No, thanks, I'm too upset. I'll see you later, beautiful. 50%! 1668 01:25:31,671 --> 01:25:33,796 I'm upset that you're upset, Mr Mayer, 1669 01:25:33,880 --> 01:25:36,463 but I have a completely legal and binding contract with Bongo. 1670 01:25:36,546 --> 01:25:37,796 And so far, he's not complained. 1671 01:25:37,880 --> 01:25:39,838 I'm not questioning the legality of your contract. 1672 01:25:39,963 --> 01:25:42,255 I'm simply suggesting that you are being a little unfair. 1673 01:25:42,338 --> 01:25:43,671 So, poor little Bongo! 1674 01:25:43,963 --> 01:25:46,671 Instead of making a fortune every month, he only makes half a fortune. 1675 01:25:46,755 --> 01:25:50,088 I'm not talking about Bongo! It's me you are being unfair to! 1676 01:25:50,296 --> 01:25:52,838 Why should you own half of such a property? 1677 01:25:55,088 --> 01:25:59,546 Are you suggesting perhaps that, um, you should have an interest? 1678 01:25:59,630 --> 01:26:02,296 -It could be to our mutual benefit. -(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) 1679 01:26:02,463 --> 01:26:03,838 I feel the need to contemplate. 1680 01:26:03,921 --> 01:26:06,588 If you don't mind, not while I am talking business! 1681 01:26:06,671 --> 01:26:09,088 You may be talking business, Mr Mayer, but I'm not! 1682 01:26:09,171 --> 01:26:10,671 I've been beating a bare living out of this business 1683 01:26:10,755 --> 01:26:12,880 for too many years to be of a generous nature! 1684 01:26:13,046 --> 01:26:16,505 Look, Johnny, to me, money isn't everything. 1685 01:26:16,963 --> 01:26:18,838 How could it be, with one foot in the classics? 1686 01:26:19,755 --> 01:26:21,921 You put me onto a good artist. 1687 01:26:22,005 --> 01:26:25,130 And in return, I'm not going to be too small about it. 1688 01:26:26,046 --> 01:26:28,338 Just how small are you not going to be, Mr Mayer? 1689 01:26:28,421 --> 01:26:29,463 (LAUGHS) 1690 01:26:29,588 --> 01:26:33,546 I'm arranging a show for the halls up north, featuring our recording stars. 1691 01:26:33,630 --> 01:26:36,130 I want Bongo to top the bill. 1692 01:26:36,213 --> 01:26:39,546 -How much? -400 a week on a 12-week tour. 1693 01:26:39,671 --> 01:26:43,630 Furthermore, I'm going to give you a back royalty on both records. 1694 01:26:44,671 --> 01:26:47,255 So, charity begins in the Charing Cross Road after all! 1695 01:26:47,505 --> 01:26:50,171 But there is a slight case of condition. 1696 01:26:50,380 --> 01:26:52,130 How stupid of me. Naturally. There would be. 1697 01:26:52,505 --> 01:26:54,296 Don't bite the hand that feeds you. 1698 01:26:54,546 --> 01:26:56,005 With my delicate stomach? 1699 01:26:56,588 --> 01:26:58,130 From here to eternity, 1700 01:26:58,213 --> 01:27:00,963 Bongo will be on exclusive contract to record for Garrick. 1701 01:27:01,088 --> 01:27:04,088 -In return, we feature him nationwide. -I get it. 1702 01:27:04,171 --> 01:27:06,171 This way you both get it. Fair? 1703 01:27:07,338 --> 01:27:10,421 As things go, Mr Mayer, very fair. 1704 01:27:10,505 --> 01:27:13,213 It's like I always say, my boy, in this business 1705 01:27:14,171 --> 01:27:16,296 even us, in this world, nothing is for nothing. 1706 01:27:16,380 --> 01:27:18,671 This I already noticed, Mr Mayer. 1707 01:27:18,755 --> 01:27:20,421 ♪ Everything's for everyone 1708 01:27:21,005 --> 01:27:23,171 ♪ On the other side 1709 01:27:23,296 --> 01:27:25,296 ♪ There'll be free ambrosia 1710 01:27:25,380 --> 01:27:27,671 ♪ Beyond the great divide 1711 01:27:27,755 --> 01:27:30,130 ♪ Everything's for everyone 1712 01:27:30,213 --> 01:27:32,505 ♪ Where the living's high 1713 01:27:32,588 --> 01:27:34,713 ♪ There's a little snag, Jack 1714 01:27:35,046 --> 01:27:37,421 ♪ First, you've got to die 1715 01:27:41,963 --> 01:27:44,171 ♪ Nothing is for nothing 1716 01:27:44,255 --> 01:27:46,421 ♪ That's the human plan 1717 01:27:46,505 --> 01:27:48,796 ♪ Line up for the rat race 1718 01:27:48,963 --> 01:27:51,296 ♪ Man must live on man 1719 01:27:51,380 --> 01:27:53,671 ♪ Nothing is for nothing 1720 01:27:53,796 --> 01:27:55,796 ♪ Nothing is for free 1721 01:27:56,130 --> 01:27:58,755 ♪ I'll look after you, Jack 1722 01:27:59,088 --> 01:28:02,213 ♪ You look after me ♪ 1723 01:28:05,588 --> 01:28:06,880 Now? 1724 01:28:07,796 --> 01:28:09,005 Right. 1725 01:28:09,130 --> 01:28:12,546 That's it, boys, you've taken enough for a souvenir programme. 1726 01:28:12,630 --> 01:28:14,546 -Bye-bye boys, thank you. -Off you go. 1727 01:28:14,630 --> 01:28:16,963 Been wonderful having you, darling. Good night. 1728 01:28:17,505 --> 01:28:18,880 Successful, I should say. 1729 01:28:18,963 --> 01:28:22,046 Rosemary, you're fantastico, just fantastico! 1730 01:28:22,130 --> 01:28:24,796 -Super! -Absolutely topping, Miss Collins. 1731 01:28:24,880 --> 01:28:28,671 -Word of an officer and a gentleman. -We'll drop Bongo off for you. 1732 01:28:28,755 --> 01:28:30,671 Bongo and I have a little business to discuss. 1733 01:28:30,755 --> 01:28:31,838 Oh, goodness! 1734 01:28:31,921 --> 01:28:33,546 Oh, well, I do hope you have 1735 01:28:33,630 --> 01:28:36,546 the happiest possible business discussion, darling. 1736 01:28:36,630 --> 01:28:39,505 -Good night, Rosemary. -Come along, celibate. 1737 01:28:40,088 --> 01:28:41,463 Come back later, boys. 1738 01:28:42,213 --> 01:28:43,838 See you in the morning, Rosemary. 1739 01:28:43,921 --> 01:28:46,130 Dixie, about my account. 1740 01:28:46,213 --> 01:28:50,671 In the morning, darling. Off you go. Nighty-bye! 1741 01:28:54,588 --> 01:28:56,046 They're gone. 1742 01:28:58,130 --> 01:28:59,463 Bongo? 1743 01:29:07,171 --> 01:29:10,046 -High up, aren't we? -I've been higher. 1744 01:29:10,546 --> 01:29:14,505 It was a smashing party, Dixie. Thanks a lot. You can't half lay it on. 1745 01:29:14,755 --> 01:29:16,630 Glad you enjoyed it, sweetie. 1746 01:29:16,713 --> 01:29:18,546 They are some strange characters, though. 1747 01:29:18,713 --> 01:29:20,338 And that Lady Rosemary. 1748 01:29:20,838 --> 01:29:23,796 Funny to think that stuck-up Cynthia is her chicko. 1749 01:29:24,005 --> 01:29:26,546 Rosemary's perfectly capable of breeding, 1750 01:29:26,630 --> 01:29:29,338 although naturally she avoids it whenever possible. 1751 01:29:29,755 --> 01:29:32,505 Come over here, Bongo. Let's talk about your future. 1752 01:29:33,046 --> 01:29:37,296 All those cars look real squashed. Old Johnny's doing very well for me. 1753 01:29:37,463 --> 01:29:40,046 Old Johnny's doing very well for old Johnny, too. 1754 01:29:40,130 --> 01:29:41,463 What does he plan for you? 1755 01:29:41,546 --> 01:29:43,588 Oh, this and that. A bit of variety. 1756 01:29:43,671 --> 01:29:46,171 You know, the usual. So long as it brings in the loot. 1757 01:29:46,255 --> 01:29:49,463 I know the routine. Beat all you can out of a singer for a year, 1758 01:29:49,546 --> 01:29:51,588 then when the kids are bored, dump him. 1759 01:29:51,838 --> 01:29:53,255 Johnny'd never dump me. 1760 01:29:53,338 --> 01:29:55,463 Not while you're getting bookings, he won't. 1761 01:29:55,546 --> 01:29:57,380 But a pop singer's life is short. 1762 01:29:57,463 --> 01:30:00,088 I've had three lives already, and I'm not that old. 1763 01:30:01,630 --> 01:30:05,171 -What's he doing to develop your talent? -Like to swing with me, Dixie? 1764 01:30:05,463 --> 01:30:07,546 You can't go on being a teenage singer 1765 01:30:07,630 --> 01:30:10,046 for very far beyond your teenage, you know. 1766 01:30:10,671 --> 01:30:12,546 Yeah, that's right. 1767 01:30:12,921 --> 01:30:15,088 What am I gonna do when I hit 20? 1768 01:30:15,463 --> 01:30:17,505 I'm gonna ask Johnny what I'm gonna do when I hit 20. 1769 01:30:17,588 --> 01:30:19,171 He ought to be thinking about it. 1770 01:30:19,255 --> 01:30:20,838 Bad things can happen to you in this racket 1771 01:30:20,921 --> 01:30:22,171 if you don't look ahead. 1772 01:30:22,671 --> 01:30:24,463 Be terrible to be out of it, though, wouldn't it? 1773 01:30:24,546 --> 01:30:29,421 -(CHUCKLING) You're infected, all right. -Never had a day's illness in my life. 1774 01:30:29,505 --> 01:30:32,005 -You're full of health, are you? -I'll say. 1775 01:30:32,130 --> 01:30:35,755 Good. Let's go inside. It's getting cold. 1776 01:30:36,213 --> 01:30:37,713 -You know something, Dixie. -What? 1777 01:30:38,421 --> 01:30:42,046 If I didn't have my bongos to work it out on, I'd flip my lid. 1778 01:30:42,588 --> 01:30:44,963 Isn't there anything else you like better? 1779 01:30:45,046 --> 01:30:48,005 Well... There is something else. 1780 01:30:48,213 --> 01:30:50,963 -Do tell. -(CHUCKLES) No, I don't like to. 1781 01:30:51,421 --> 01:30:54,880 Go on. I've had requests for practically everything in my time. 1782 01:30:55,630 --> 01:30:57,171 No, I feel silly. 1783 01:30:57,838 --> 01:31:01,755 -I won't laugh. -It's the one thing I really want. 1784 01:31:02,880 --> 01:31:05,963 -Maybe it can be arranged. -Well... 1785 01:31:06,505 --> 01:31:10,046 It's a motor scooter! Not a motorbike, a red scooter. 1786 01:31:10,421 --> 01:31:13,130 What a pity I don't carry an agency for them. 1787 01:31:15,005 --> 01:31:16,046 And who would you take with you 1788 01:31:16,130 --> 01:31:18,796 on the pillion of your little motor scooter, Bongo? 1789 01:31:19,463 --> 01:31:22,296 I'd get one of them boxes fixed on the back, for my sandwiches. 1790 01:31:22,380 --> 01:31:25,421 (LAUGHS) Bongo, that's really a new twist. 1791 01:31:25,505 --> 01:31:27,463 Haven't you got a steady girlfriend? 1792 01:31:28,463 --> 01:31:31,380 Why is everybody always on with this girlfriend routine? 1793 01:31:32,255 --> 01:31:37,171 It's not unnatural or illegal, you know. It's not even taxed. Yet. 1794 01:31:37,338 --> 01:31:42,255 Ah, girlfriends just pin you down. Anyway, they're always wanting things. 1795 01:31:42,921 --> 01:31:44,546 Sometimes it's mutual. 1796 01:31:50,171 --> 01:31:52,005 I don't go much for these guys like Beast, 1797 01:31:52,088 --> 01:31:54,213 wasting themselves the whole time. 1798 01:31:54,463 --> 01:31:57,963 -So long as he gets his kicks. -He ought to be saving it for his drums. 1799 01:31:59,088 --> 01:32:02,338 You've got enough for drums and a steady girlfriend. 1800 01:32:02,421 --> 01:32:04,546 (DOOR BUZZER RINGING) 1801 01:32:05,588 --> 01:32:08,130 -Of all times. -I'll get it. 1802 01:32:08,546 --> 01:32:10,713 Sit down. Don't waste yourself. 1803 01:32:13,588 --> 01:32:15,671 (DOOR BUZZER RINGS) 1804 01:32:21,588 --> 01:32:24,838 Oh, I hope I'm not too late for the party, Miss Collins. 1805 01:32:24,921 --> 01:32:26,546 The party's over, Mr Jackson. 1806 01:32:26,630 --> 01:32:28,171 We all missed you very much. 1807 01:32:28,255 --> 01:32:31,213 I'd like to thank you for all the help you are giving our boy. 1808 01:32:31,296 --> 01:32:33,880 Think nothing of it, Mr Jackson. Good night. 1809 01:32:34,921 --> 01:32:36,588 I really mean it, Miss Collins. 1810 01:32:37,088 --> 01:32:40,130 It's not often a star looks down the way you are on Bongo. 1811 01:32:40,296 --> 01:32:41,463 Do come in. 1812 01:32:41,546 --> 01:32:43,380 I know that you are very happy for my boy. 1813 01:32:43,755 --> 01:32:45,088 I'm happy, too. 1814 01:32:45,713 --> 01:32:47,046 When success comes to someone 1815 01:32:47,130 --> 01:32:49,213 you've nursed carefully along like a sick whelp, 1816 01:32:49,463 --> 01:32:51,213 well, you can understand, Miss Collins, 1817 01:32:51,421 --> 01:32:53,296 you get a bit careful about that kid. 1818 01:32:53,505 --> 01:32:57,213 I thought animals like you became extinct with giant lizards. 1819 01:32:57,296 --> 01:33:00,755 I'll take that as a compliment from a great lizardess. 1820 01:33:02,213 --> 01:33:06,296 -I'm gonna be very plain, Miss Collins. -You are very, very plain. 1821 01:33:06,380 --> 01:33:08,421 I don't want you interfering with my business interests. 1822 01:33:08,505 --> 01:33:10,171 Oh, nothing personal of course. 1823 01:33:10,255 --> 01:33:11,671 BONGO: Who is it, Dixie? 1824 01:33:16,088 --> 01:33:18,255 Who but your ever-loving old Uncle Johnny? 1825 01:33:18,338 --> 01:33:20,588 You've been quite the social lion tonight, kid. 1826 01:33:20,671 --> 01:33:22,421 Yeah. But where am I gonna be when I'm 20? 1827 01:33:22,505 --> 01:33:25,046 Who cares? Now clear your cretinous mind for a minute and listen to me. 1828 01:33:25,171 --> 01:33:28,171 -I ought to be developing myself. -I booked a tour for you. 400 a week. 1829 01:33:28,255 --> 01:33:30,755 -Bashing them bongos, I suppose. -What else, playing The Old Vic? 1830 01:33:30,838 --> 01:33:31,921 This is the big time! 1831 01:33:32,005 --> 01:33:36,088 -I know, I know. -Well, you ungrateful idiot, react. 1832 01:33:36,880 --> 01:33:39,963 Don't just sit there all smug and deodourised all of a sudden! 1833 01:33:40,713 --> 01:33:41,838 What do you think about all this, Dixie? 1834 01:33:42,005 --> 01:33:43,588 Never mind about what Dixie thinks. 1835 01:33:43,671 --> 01:33:47,421 -Please, carry on. My days are all mine. -Who gets the nights? 1836 01:33:48,005 --> 01:33:49,588 Careful, dear. 1837 01:33:49,796 --> 01:33:51,630 Dixie's been advising me about my career. 1838 01:33:51,921 --> 01:33:53,421 You've got to think ahead in this business. 1839 01:33:53,505 --> 01:33:55,546 Leave the visionary part to me. 1840 01:33:55,755 --> 01:33:56,838 You just remember that you're great 1841 01:33:56,921 --> 01:33:59,213 only so long as the teenage public thinks you're one of them. 1842 01:33:59,380 --> 01:34:03,671 -What do I care about those grimy yobs? -Start going fancy on them, 1843 01:34:04,005 --> 01:34:06,255 make as if you were for one brief moment superior, 1844 01:34:06,338 --> 01:34:08,255 and you, my little chicken, have had it. 1845 01:34:08,380 --> 01:34:11,046 Uncle Johnny really is telling you the truth about life. 1846 01:34:11,130 --> 01:34:13,755 Let's begin to understand one another, Miss Collins. 1847 01:34:13,838 --> 01:34:15,838 Bongo takes his orders from me. 1848 01:34:16,005 --> 01:34:18,463 Now put out that cheap cigar and get those glad rags 1849 01:34:18,546 --> 01:34:20,296 and come have a quick look at the numbers for your new act. 1850 01:34:20,380 --> 01:34:22,838 -What I do is my business! -Half is mine. 1851 01:34:22,921 --> 01:34:25,505 Aren't you playing this just a little too tough? 1852 01:34:25,588 --> 01:34:29,838 I'm just protecting my half. Good night, Miss Collins. Get. 1853 01:34:35,005 --> 01:34:39,088 All right, Mr Jackson. Let's see what we can do with the other half. 1854 01:34:42,713 --> 01:34:44,671 (CHILDREN SHOUTING EXCITEDLY) 1855 01:34:46,880 --> 01:34:49,463 Blimey, who's inside? Is it the Queen? 1856 01:34:49,546 --> 01:34:51,546 Nah, stop it, she wouldn't come down here. 1857 01:34:51,880 --> 01:34:54,296 -Cor! Look at her! -Who are you? 1858 01:34:54,380 --> 01:34:57,088 -It's a film star! -Never seen her in films! 1859 01:34:57,213 --> 01:34:58,671 No, she's on television! 1860 01:34:58,755 --> 01:35:00,755 -Cor! Look at that figure. -She's a smasher! 1861 01:35:00,880 --> 01:35:04,296 -Look at Father Christmas! -(CHILDREN ALL SHOUT EXCITEDLY) 1862 01:35:07,713 --> 01:35:09,921 (CHILDREN LAUGHING) 1863 01:35:11,255 --> 01:35:13,588 Where can I find Mrs Rudge? 1864 01:35:14,421 --> 01:35:15,505 You've found her. 1865 01:35:15,588 --> 01:35:18,005 And if you're looking for Bongo Herbert, he don't live here any more. 1866 01:35:18,088 --> 01:35:20,588 No, but he asked me to call, Mrs Rudge. 1867 01:35:20,671 --> 01:35:22,338 -Oh, he did? -Mmm. 1868 01:35:22,588 --> 01:35:26,880 -I suppose you'd better come in, then. -Thank you. Bring those in, George. 1869 01:35:28,088 --> 01:35:29,921 (CHATTERING OUTSIDE) 1870 01:35:30,338 --> 01:35:31,963 Put them there, George. 1871 01:35:33,505 --> 01:35:36,171 -Isn't this homey? -What's all that? 1872 01:35:36,255 --> 01:35:39,213 Presents from Bongo, Mrs Rudge, for you and the family. 1873 01:35:39,296 --> 01:35:40,630 Him, sending those parcels? 1874 01:35:40,713 --> 01:35:43,005 He never comes near us. So, what's he sending us parcels for? 1875 01:35:43,088 --> 01:35:46,880 You've got to realise, Mrs Rudge, Bongo's become an enormous success. 1876 01:35:47,130 --> 01:35:50,213 When success comes to the young, It sometimes upsets them for a while. 1877 01:35:50,296 --> 01:35:52,921 It upset me, I know that. All those presents for me? 1878 01:35:53,005 --> 01:35:54,588 For the whole family. 1879 01:35:54,796 --> 01:35:56,713 You see, Mrs Rudge, you may not have thought so, 1880 01:35:56,796 --> 01:35:59,796 but Bongo thinks a great deal about you. He's been trying to see you. 1881 01:35:59,880 --> 01:36:02,171 What's stopped him, then? He knows where we live, don't he? 1882 01:36:02,255 --> 01:36:04,630 I'm afraid Mr Jackson doesn't consider that Bongo ought to give 1883 01:36:04,713 --> 01:36:06,130 too much attention to his relatives. 1884 01:36:06,213 --> 01:36:08,380 That's that spivvy manager of his, I suppose. 1885 01:36:08,630 --> 01:36:12,380 Mr Jackson is very concerned that nothing should interrupt Bongo's career. 1886 01:36:12,463 --> 01:36:14,796 So he don't let him see his own mother. 1887 01:36:14,963 --> 01:36:17,588 Well, Mrs Rudge, you did give your consent. 1888 01:36:17,671 --> 01:36:19,046 I never gave my consent to nothing. 1889 01:36:19,130 --> 01:36:21,421 But you did agree to Bongo's contract with Mr Jackson. 1890 01:36:21,505 --> 01:36:22,921 I didn't sign no contract. 1891 01:36:23,005 --> 01:36:24,796 Maybe If I had, we'd have got something out of it. 1892 01:36:25,213 --> 01:36:27,171 But Bongo's under 21, Mrs Rudge. 1893 01:36:27,255 --> 01:36:29,880 His contract isn't legal unless his parents agree to it. 1894 01:36:29,963 --> 01:36:32,546 We didn't agree to nothing, and we don't get nothing out of it. 1895 01:36:33,171 --> 01:36:36,213 Well, then, you mustn't blame Bongo. 1896 01:36:36,296 --> 01:36:40,046 You're right. I'm gonna do that Jackson. He's come between me and my son. 1897 01:36:40,130 --> 01:36:41,171 I'm gonna do him. 1898 01:36:41,296 --> 01:36:43,880 -For Bongo's sake, I think you should. -I will. 1899 01:36:43,963 --> 01:36:47,380 You know, Mrs Rudge, I'd just love a cup of real English tea. 1900 01:36:47,463 --> 01:36:49,505 Help yourself, dear. It may be a bit cold by now. 1901 01:36:56,546 --> 01:36:59,588 -Having fun, sweetie? -Never been so happy, Dixie. 1902 01:36:59,671 --> 01:37:02,005 That's what we want, darling. Won't be long. 1903 01:37:02,088 --> 01:37:03,421 Okay. 1904 01:37:05,505 --> 01:37:08,963 I want you to know I really appreciate your telling me about all this. 1905 01:37:09,046 --> 01:37:10,213 I'm sure you do, Gus. 1906 01:37:10,296 --> 01:37:12,963 After all, there's nothing to prevent you taking the boy over completely. 1907 01:37:13,046 --> 01:37:16,338 If I do so, it would be only be on a perfectly straight legal basis. 1908 01:37:16,421 --> 01:37:18,005 Never mind the ethical discussion. 1909 01:37:18,088 --> 01:37:20,505 You just get your legal bloodhounds onto this right away. 1910 01:37:20,588 --> 01:37:22,213 -Can I use your phone? -I can't wait. 1911 01:37:22,296 --> 01:37:24,171 Regardless of my old friendship for Johnny, 1912 01:37:24,255 --> 01:37:27,130 I feel for all our sakes, I have no alternative. 1913 01:37:27,213 --> 01:37:30,255 Get me Horseacre and Brixton, Chancery Lane. 1914 01:37:30,338 --> 01:37:32,463 Mind you, darling, you'll forgive an old friend 1915 01:37:32,546 --> 01:37:34,296 being perhaps a little personal... 1916 01:37:34,380 --> 01:37:37,005 No, I won't, Gus. All that concerns you 1917 01:37:37,088 --> 01:37:39,755 is that I intend to use Bongo in my New York act. 1918 01:37:39,838 --> 01:37:41,171 Have you heard from them yet? 1919 01:37:41,255 --> 01:37:43,630 They've only had the tele-recording this morning. 1920 01:37:43,713 --> 01:37:46,338 -Do you think I'll get an offer? -I'm sure of it. Any moment. 1921 01:37:46,421 --> 01:37:49,463 Horseacre, a little matter of legal contract. 1922 01:37:49,546 --> 01:37:52,005 -I'll leave you to your business. -Thank you again, darling. 1923 01:37:52,463 --> 01:37:55,963 It's a matter of an underage minor contracted as an artist. 1924 01:37:56,046 --> 01:37:57,546 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 1925 01:38:03,921 --> 01:38:04,963 (MUSIC STOPS) 1926 01:38:05,963 --> 01:38:08,130 Maisie? Maisie, has the kid been around here? 1927 01:38:08,213 --> 01:38:10,171 Oh, sure. We have lots of young boys around here. 1928 01:38:10,255 --> 01:38:12,005 Shh! They'll think it's the police rounds. 1929 01:38:12,088 --> 01:38:13,546 Maisie doll, this is urgent! 1930 01:38:13,630 --> 01:38:15,796 -So, what's the matter? -I can't find Bongo. 1931 01:38:15,880 --> 01:38:17,380 -So? -He ran out of rehearsal. 1932 01:38:17,505 --> 01:38:19,296 -Oh, is that all? -What do you mean, 'Is that all?' 1933 01:38:19,380 --> 01:38:21,421 I've got the greatest deal I've ever lined up in my life, 1934 01:38:21,505 --> 01:38:24,546 and this stupid imbecile suddenly decides to go and get temperamental. 1935 01:38:24,630 --> 01:38:26,671 All right, don't bite me as well as everybody else. 1936 01:38:26,755 --> 01:38:28,338 Who's biting? I'm just worried, that's all. 1937 01:38:28,421 --> 01:38:30,505 So you come to little white mother Maisie. 1938 01:38:31,005 --> 01:38:32,255 All right, twist the knife! 1939 01:38:32,338 --> 01:38:33,505 Ever since you got into the gravy, 1940 01:38:33,588 --> 01:38:34,880 you've been screaming as though you were drowning. 1941 01:38:34,963 --> 01:38:36,255 Why does he do this to me? 1942 01:38:36,338 --> 01:38:39,088 Don't worry, Johnny. He's probably chatting it up with some wide-eyed kid 1943 01:38:39,171 --> 01:38:41,171 in a coffee bar somewhere. 1944 01:38:41,963 --> 01:38:45,546 Maybe you're right. I think I know the very kid. 1945 01:38:52,338 --> 01:38:55,588 Like the sun, Bongo, you mustn't take too much of it at once. 1946 01:38:55,755 --> 01:38:57,921 Anything you say, Dixie. You're the boss now. 1947 01:38:58,005 --> 01:38:59,588 Good. Turn over. 1948 01:38:59,671 --> 01:39:03,588 Do you think... You think Johnny will make any trouble? 1949 01:39:03,671 --> 01:39:07,255 Johnny is not in a position to make anything any more. 1950 01:39:07,546 --> 01:39:10,005 It's gonna be marvellous going to the States. 1951 01:39:10,088 --> 01:39:11,755 -With me? -Yeah, with you. 1952 01:39:12,838 --> 01:39:14,171 I bet you thought I was a real drip 1953 01:39:14,255 --> 01:39:15,921 when I got sloshed here that first night. 1954 01:39:16,213 --> 01:39:18,755 (CHUCKLES) You'd be surprised what I thought. 1955 01:39:18,838 --> 01:39:21,838 You see, I never thought of me and you in that way. 1956 01:39:22,005 --> 01:39:23,546 Well, you wouldn't really. 1957 01:39:24,213 --> 01:39:27,671 But I'll say this for you, Dixie, you've got what it takes. 1958 01:39:27,921 --> 01:39:30,838 -I've got the lot, haven't I? -The lot. 1959 01:39:32,463 --> 01:39:35,255 Very lonely having the lot alone. 1960 01:39:35,338 --> 01:39:37,963 Come on, you alone? You're always in the papers. 1961 01:39:38,046 --> 01:39:39,130 Sure, sure. 1962 01:39:39,213 --> 01:39:41,255 What kind of act do we get to do in New York? 1963 01:39:41,338 --> 01:39:44,630 Mmm. I haven't thought out the details yet. You'll sing... 1964 01:39:44,713 --> 01:39:47,130 Uh, yeah. I'll freshen it up a bit, 1965 01:39:47,213 --> 01:39:49,296 you know, put a bit of pep into your show. 1966 01:39:49,380 --> 01:39:52,421 -Thanks! -Well, let's face it, Dixie, 1967 01:39:53,130 --> 01:39:56,713 you're fabulous, but you're a bit on the square side. 1968 01:39:56,796 --> 01:39:59,880 -(CHUCKLES) I am, am I? -Still... (YAWNS) 1969 01:40:01,088 --> 01:40:05,255 -You're maybe getting on a bit. -I think maybe I am. 1970 01:40:05,880 --> 01:40:08,088 But you're real class. 1971 01:40:09,963 --> 01:40:13,338 -I wonder if you're gonna help me much. -Help you what? 1972 01:40:16,171 --> 01:40:17,588 Help me. 1973 01:40:18,505 --> 01:40:21,380 Oh, hell, turn over. You're done this side. 1974 01:40:26,255 --> 01:40:27,838 Bongo? 1975 01:40:38,505 --> 01:40:43,255 ♪ You can fool all of the people 1976 01:40:44,421 --> 01:40:48,588 ♪ Some of the time 1977 01:40:49,421 --> 01:40:54,213 ♪ You can fool some of the people 1978 01:40:55,463 --> 01:40:58,005 ♪ All of the time 1979 01:41:00,213 --> 01:41:05,505 ♪ Try to convey you're as young as the day 1980 01:41:05,796 --> 01:41:10,921 ♪ When a boy first kissed you 1981 01:41:11,671 --> 01:41:16,796 ♪ Try to imply that the years passing by 1982 01:41:17,838 --> 01:41:22,171 ♪ Somehow have missed you 1983 01:41:23,671 --> 01:41:28,671 ♪ You can fool most of the people 1984 01:41:30,213 --> 01:41:32,463 ♪ Lead them astray 1985 01:41:35,421 --> 01:41:40,630 ♪ As a rule, most of the people 1986 01:41:41,838 --> 01:41:46,296 ♪ Like it that way 1987 01:41:46,546 --> 01:41:52,255 ♪ Telling them lies, throwing dust in their eyes 1988 01:41:53,463 --> 01:41:57,130 ♪ Isn't hard to do 1989 01:41:59,130 --> 01:42:01,755 ♪ Fool them all 1990 01:42:02,421 --> 01:42:07,588 ♪ But you can't fool you ♪ 1991 01:42:09,505 --> 01:42:11,046 I'm a fool. 1992 01:42:13,463 --> 01:42:15,588 (FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING) 1993 01:42:33,671 --> 01:42:35,921 Why are you crucifying me, Bongo baby? 1994 01:42:36,005 --> 01:42:37,380 What the hell are you doing here? 1995 01:42:37,463 --> 01:42:39,213 That's what I came here to ask you. 1996 01:42:39,296 --> 01:42:41,880 Well, we've got work to do. You're a variety artiste. 1997 01:42:41,963 --> 01:42:43,171 The tour, remember? 1998 01:42:43,255 --> 01:42:44,921 You're trespassing on Dixie Collins' property. 1999 01:42:45,005 --> 01:42:46,921 And Dixie Collins is trespassing on mine. 2000 01:42:47,005 --> 01:42:48,588 Now, you listen to me, Bert Rudge, 2001 01:42:48,671 --> 01:42:50,713 I've got two seats booked on the Birmingham train on Monday. 2002 01:42:50,796 --> 01:42:53,213 Well, you better flog one of them sharpish. I'm not coming. 2003 01:42:53,296 --> 01:42:54,380 Say that again. 2004 01:42:54,630 --> 01:42:56,713 Look, the tour's no good for my career. 2005 01:42:56,796 --> 01:42:57,880 All those kids screaming their heads off. 2006 01:42:57,963 --> 01:42:59,046 Is that what you want for me? 2007 01:42:59,130 --> 01:43:00,963 So, 400 a week is bad? 2008 01:43:01,380 --> 01:43:03,463 You're just like that old woman of mine. 2009 01:43:03,546 --> 01:43:05,213 You don't care about me, it's just the money. 2010 01:43:05,546 --> 01:43:09,505 So, suddenly it's all for love, is it? We've gotta love you, you idiot! 2011 01:43:09,880 --> 01:43:13,171 Dixie and I are doing an act together. Maybe we'll even do a film together. 2012 01:43:13,880 --> 01:43:16,296 I suppose it'll be about this great star, 2013 01:43:16,380 --> 01:43:18,963 who, underneath it all, is just a lonely woman, 2014 01:43:19,046 --> 01:43:21,088 and this great little kid, who, underneath it all, 2015 01:43:21,171 --> 01:43:22,921 is just a rotten, ungrateful little scut! 2016 01:43:23,005 --> 01:43:25,963 -Get out. -Now, get this message and get it clear. 2017 01:43:26,338 --> 01:43:30,463 I own 50% of you, no matter which part you're giving to Madam Collins! 2018 01:43:30,588 --> 01:43:33,380 DIXIE: You keep your filthy mind to yourself. 2019 01:43:40,338 --> 01:43:43,088 And you keep your filthy hands off my property! 2020 01:43:43,588 --> 01:43:45,588 He's got a four-year contract with me. 2021 01:43:45,671 --> 01:43:49,421 In a pig's eye, he has a contract. It's about as legitimate as you are. 2022 01:43:52,088 --> 01:43:54,921 You've got a real yen for that boy, haven't you? 2023 01:43:55,130 --> 01:43:56,671 You're a real case. 2024 01:43:57,255 --> 01:43:58,796 So are you, my friend. 2025 01:43:58,880 --> 01:44:01,838 His signature doesn't mean a thing. He's underage. 2026 01:44:02,005 --> 01:44:05,505 I see. But only for signing contracts and voting, I suppose. 2027 01:44:05,880 --> 01:44:08,630 Everything else, he either knows already or you'll teach him. 2028 01:44:08,713 --> 01:44:11,671 I don't have to take this from you. Get out or I'll have you thrown out. 2029 01:44:11,755 --> 01:44:14,171 I can get his parents to sign that contract anytime, if I wasn't... 2030 01:44:14,255 --> 01:44:15,713 His parents will never sign with you 2031 01:44:15,796 --> 01:44:18,546 because they've already signed with somebody else. 2032 01:44:18,838 --> 01:44:21,880 Will you leave now, or shall I have you pushed over the edge? 2033 01:44:21,963 --> 01:44:24,213 Oh, it's gonna look great in the press. 2034 01:44:24,546 --> 01:44:28,255 'Much fancied film star stables unbroken street Arab.' 2035 01:44:28,338 --> 01:44:32,088 Say what you like. It means as little as that contract of yours. 2036 01:44:32,296 --> 01:44:34,421 Bongo is underage. 2037 01:44:38,838 --> 01:44:42,963 To me, he looks, all of a sudden, very grown up. 2038 01:44:48,421 --> 01:44:51,505 Not that way. The way you came in. 2039 01:45:04,213 --> 01:45:06,130 That's the end of him. 2040 01:45:06,713 --> 01:45:10,671 -You're free, Bongo, you're free! -Tell me about New York, Dixie. 2041 01:45:10,963 --> 01:45:15,171 Well, it's full of Johnny Jacksons and Gus Mayers... 2042 01:45:15,255 --> 01:45:17,338 And Bongo Herberts? 2043 01:45:17,588 --> 01:45:20,130 Don't worry, honey, you're unique. 2044 01:45:20,505 --> 01:45:21,546 (CHUCKLES) 2045 01:45:23,046 --> 01:45:24,963 All right, so I signed the contract for Bongo's tour, 2046 01:45:25,046 --> 01:45:26,130 but not for dates like these! 2047 01:45:26,213 --> 01:45:27,671 The dates are the same dates for anybody. 2048 01:45:27,755 --> 01:45:30,463 I wouldn't even offer them to a troop of performing dogs. 2049 01:45:30,546 --> 01:45:32,713 I'm sorry, Mr Mayer, but I won't let him play. 2050 01:45:32,796 --> 01:45:34,880 -Brava! -Now, what's that for? 2051 01:45:34,963 --> 01:45:36,588 You are a performing dog, Johnny. 2052 01:45:36,671 --> 01:45:38,630 I want you to know I appreciate your performance. 2053 01:45:38,713 --> 01:45:40,046 Now, let's finish the comedy. 2054 01:45:40,130 --> 01:45:42,171 -I'm afraid we mustn't. -You hear me out! 2055 01:45:42,255 --> 01:45:45,505 You have signed on behalf of Bongo Herbert, and you can't deliver. 2056 01:45:45,588 --> 01:45:47,338 What do you mean, I can't deliver? 2057 01:45:47,421 --> 01:45:50,338 You can't deliver him because you've never had him on a legal basis! 2058 01:45:50,421 --> 01:45:51,463 Oh, I see. 2059 01:45:53,505 --> 01:45:57,046 So, you enjoy the confidence of Miss Dixie Collins. 2060 01:45:57,130 --> 01:45:59,880 My dear Johnny, no one could be sorrier than I am, 2061 01:45:59,963 --> 01:46:02,463 but you've placed me in a very difficult position. 2062 01:46:02,546 --> 01:46:05,713 What am I to do? I have contracts to live up to. 2063 01:46:06,046 --> 01:46:07,713 I ought to have known. 2064 01:46:08,255 --> 01:46:14,088 My little gutter-lily glistening up at that fabulous grifter! 2065 01:46:14,171 --> 01:46:16,421 I understand how you must feel, my boy, 2066 01:46:16,505 --> 01:46:19,005 but I cannot, with the best will in the world, 2067 01:46:19,088 --> 01:46:21,338 allow your misfortune to become my own. 2068 01:46:21,546 --> 01:46:23,338 All right, so I'm in trouble, Mr Mayer. 2069 01:46:23,421 --> 01:46:26,046 If I had a way of helping you out, oh, believe me, I would. 2070 01:46:26,130 --> 01:46:28,005 I'm glad you feel that way, my boy. 2071 01:46:28,088 --> 01:46:29,255 I would hate to sue you. 2072 01:46:29,338 --> 01:46:30,671 -It's better this way. -Which way? 2073 01:46:30,755 --> 01:46:34,005 It's better that I, after all, an old friend, 2074 01:46:34,088 --> 01:46:37,005 -should take over the boy. -Cable, Mr Mayer. 2075 01:46:37,088 --> 01:46:38,171 Thank you. 2076 01:46:40,463 --> 01:46:41,755 Oh, I get it. 2077 01:46:43,463 --> 01:46:44,880 I follow. 2078 01:46:46,755 --> 01:46:48,046 Oh, what the hell! 2079 01:46:48,130 --> 01:46:50,838 If I can invent one Bongo Herbert, I can invent another. 2080 01:46:51,130 --> 01:46:52,713 -See you around, Mr Mayer. -Just a minute. 2081 01:46:52,796 --> 01:46:54,671 -Get me Miss Collins at the Dorchester. -Right away. 2082 01:46:54,755 --> 01:46:56,046 I want you to sit in on this. 2083 01:46:56,130 --> 01:46:57,505 It's very kind of you, Mr Mayer, 2084 01:46:57,588 --> 01:46:59,421 but I don't want to do any arrangements for you. 2085 01:46:59,505 --> 01:47:00,838 Sit down, please. 2086 01:47:00,921 --> 01:47:03,421 It may cheer you a little to know that business losses, 2087 01:47:03,505 --> 01:47:06,713 like death, come to all of us. No matter who. 2088 01:47:06,880 --> 01:47:09,713 SECRETARY: Miss Collins on the line, Mr Mayer. 2089 01:47:10,213 --> 01:47:12,796 Hello, Dixie, darling, I just received a cable. 2090 01:47:13,088 --> 01:47:16,213 From New York? That's wonderful, Gus. What does it say? 2091 01:47:16,421 --> 01:47:19,880 They want Bongo. His own show for 13 weeks. 2092 01:47:20,046 --> 01:47:22,255 That's terrific! I can't wait to tell him! 2093 01:47:22,338 --> 01:47:23,546 When do we leave? 2094 01:47:23,630 --> 01:47:26,796 Well, Bongo leaves next week. It might be smart to go with him. 2095 01:47:27,005 --> 01:47:30,088 Why wouldn't I go with him? You said we had 13 shows? 2096 01:47:35,421 --> 01:47:37,463 Who knows, Dixie, darling, 2097 01:47:37,546 --> 01:47:41,505 if you play your cards right, you might get on two or three of them. 2098 01:47:41,588 --> 01:47:46,005 -Who was it, Dixie? -An old man with a scythe. 2099 01:47:46,380 --> 01:47:51,213 -What's a scythe? -Sort of a very big knife. 2100 01:47:56,630 --> 01:47:59,921 What did you do that was so wrong? You made Bongo, didn't you? 2101 01:48:00,005 --> 01:48:02,130 I made him, but I can't deliver him. 2102 01:48:02,588 --> 01:48:05,296 In this business, Maisie, If you can't deliver, that's criminal. 2103 01:48:05,380 --> 01:48:06,671 And why are they all against you? 2104 01:48:06,755 --> 01:48:09,130 They just don't happen to share your eccentric taste, that's all. 2105 01:48:09,213 --> 01:48:11,380 -They just don't understand you. -That's right. 2106 01:48:11,505 --> 01:48:14,130 Whenever anyone said you were a bastard, I always denied it. 2107 01:48:14,255 --> 01:48:16,713 Good, kid, but don't bother to deny it. 2108 01:48:16,796 --> 01:48:20,046 Just explain that it's a bastard world and I'm a fully paid-up member. 2109 01:48:20,963 --> 01:48:22,088 How long will you be away? 2110 01:48:22,171 --> 01:48:24,296 Only a few weeks, and don't look so miserable. 2111 01:48:24,380 --> 01:48:27,213 I'm only going on a band tour. Where's me other brush? 2112 01:48:27,296 --> 01:48:28,338 In the kitchen. 2113 01:48:28,421 --> 01:48:29,963 Well, go on. Go on, get it. I've got a train to catch. 2114 01:48:30,046 --> 01:48:32,130 You said you'd never go back to band work. 2115 01:48:32,213 --> 01:48:33,796 We've got debts to pay, doll. 2116 01:48:34,130 --> 01:48:37,463 You wouldn't want me to, well, welch on all those delicatessen supplies, 2117 01:48:37,546 --> 01:48:39,296 and well, there's your singing teacher. 2118 01:48:39,380 --> 01:48:41,255 You'd never welch on anybody. 2119 01:48:41,463 --> 01:48:43,296 You're so faithful, it's heart-breaking. 2120 01:48:43,380 --> 01:48:46,796 Things were never so bad. It's not fair! 2121 01:48:46,880 --> 01:48:49,796 Things are back to normal, and they were never fair. 2122 01:48:49,880 --> 01:48:52,296 How could Bongo do this to you? 2123 01:48:52,380 --> 01:48:54,505 For a blonde broad and a one-way trip to Broadway. 2124 01:48:54,588 --> 01:48:56,296 And Mayer ought to be ashamed of himself. 2125 01:48:56,380 --> 01:48:57,796 There's no shame in this trade, Maisie. 2126 01:48:57,963 --> 01:48:59,255 Mayer is a great flesh broker. 2127 01:48:59,338 --> 01:49:01,630 When he cracks the whip, everybody performs! 2128 01:49:01,838 --> 01:49:04,296 The whole world loves a big agent, Maisie, 2129 01:49:04,380 --> 01:49:06,296 but a small one's anybody's whore. 2130 01:49:06,713 --> 01:49:08,463 Come on, lover doll. 2131 01:49:11,255 --> 01:49:12,838 What time do you have to be at the show? 2132 01:49:12,921 --> 01:49:15,130 Drusilla's walking on for me, but I've got to do the last one. 2133 01:49:15,213 --> 01:49:17,463 Well, that's all right. Being seen onto a train at night 2134 01:49:17,546 --> 01:49:19,463 makes me feel like an immigrant. 2135 01:49:21,338 --> 01:49:22,880 You're so right, my friend. 2136 01:49:22,963 --> 01:49:25,213 Johnny, I didn't see you in a month of Sundays! 2137 01:49:25,296 --> 01:49:27,630 -Kakky, not now, Kakky. Not now. -Johnny! 2138 01:49:27,713 --> 01:49:29,130 When are we gonna get together again? 2139 01:49:29,213 --> 01:49:31,130 I told you, it's only a few weeks. It's nothing. 2140 01:49:31,213 --> 01:49:34,088 At last, I've got a proposition that is 110%! 2141 01:49:34,171 --> 01:49:37,130 -You remember my picture, Omar Khayyam? -I was a schoolboy. 2142 01:49:37,213 --> 01:49:41,338 -I wasn't even born. I'm sorry I was! -Easy, doll, I'm not dying. 2143 01:49:41,421 --> 01:49:43,130 They are making a stage musical with it. 2144 01:49:43,213 --> 01:49:46,213 Look, Kakky. Kakky, we're having a private conversation here. 2145 01:49:46,296 --> 01:49:47,755 Here, I'm in business again. 2146 01:49:47,838 --> 01:49:50,630 Here is what I owe you over the past five years. 2147 01:49:50,713 --> 01:49:52,171 Plus sixpence. 2148 01:49:52,546 --> 01:49:54,755 I always keep very neat accounts. 2149 01:49:55,130 --> 01:49:57,755 Who said good deeds go unrewarded? 2150 01:49:58,130 --> 01:50:00,880 In case the public interest in strip declines while I'm away. 2151 01:50:00,963 --> 01:50:03,338 -Go on, you better go now, doll. -Oh, Johnny... 2152 01:50:04,005 --> 01:50:06,713 I'll phone you from Manchester in the morning. 2153 01:50:07,088 --> 01:50:09,380 I should never have spent so much on those singing lessons. 2154 01:50:09,713 --> 01:50:11,380 Idiot! I love... 2155 01:50:13,088 --> 01:50:14,421 Your voice. 2156 01:50:17,380 --> 01:50:19,005 Go on now. 2157 01:50:19,088 --> 01:50:22,296 I happen to own the stage rights of Omar Khayyam. 2158 01:50:22,380 --> 01:50:24,713 Good, good. You'll sell out and retire. 2159 01:50:24,796 --> 01:50:26,796 It couldn't happen to a nicer pioneer of spectacle. 2160 01:50:26,880 --> 01:50:29,380 Sell out nothing! I'm going to produce. 2161 01:50:29,463 --> 01:50:32,796 I got only one problem. Who do I get for Khayyama? 2162 01:50:32,880 --> 01:50:34,880 -Khay-who-ma? -Omar Khayyam's girlfriend. 2163 01:50:34,963 --> 01:50:38,255 She's a sort of a period Judy Garland, you understand? 2164 01:50:40,630 --> 01:50:42,463 -You know something, K.A.? -What? 2165 01:50:42,755 --> 01:50:45,005 I just happen to have, under contract to me, 2166 01:50:45,088 --> 01:50:47,880 an absolutely brand new, entirely gorgeous, 2167 01:50:47,963 --> 01:50:50,671 all British, real, sensational Judy Garland! 2168 01:50:50,755 --> 01:50:51,838 That's impossible! 2169 01:50:51,921 --> 01:50:54,213 K.A., in this business, nothing is impossible! 2170 01:50:54,296 --> 01:50:56,380 (INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS) 171312