Original subtitles

Tonight is all about the greatest flavors

Known to man -- fast food.

Bring out my dish!

- Oh! - Oh!

This is a celebration of guilty pleasure eats

And late night cravings. That's right!

Oh, my god!

Three award-winning chefs...

- Jeremy, what are you making? - I'm just doing me.

How do you do it?

...Will compete for the love of some hungry,

Hungry celebrities...

- Hell yeah! - Who are we clapping for?

Let's go.

...By recreating...

And we have to nail it perfectly. Hold on.

That is mcdonald's.

...Then remixing their favorite fast food dishes.

That was really ducking good.

...Come for the food... Why are they so good?

I can eat a thousand of those.

...Stay for the crazy.

Aah!

Why is there a spider in there?

- Aah! - That's gonna make good tv.

This is "fast foodies."

You did a really good job. Thank you.

Um, it's fine.

Tonight's guest had an impressive

Eight-year run on "snl."

He's most recently been in the "star wars" universe,

Starring in the wildly popular "mandalorian."

Of course, I'm talking about the legendary horatio sanz.

Oh, wow, this is a real place.

How are you doing, brother? Thanks for being here, man.

No worries. No worries. Thank you.

How exciting. - So, horatio,

How many days a week you eating fast food?

About two, two or three. I'm right there with you.

I don't think egg mcmuffins count.

- Originally from chile? - I was born in chile.

I came here when I was about 2 months old to chicago.

Are you in the camp of chicago-style

Dish pizza is pizza, or it's more like lasagna?

It's more like an event.

- I'm getting hungry now. - Did you bring us pizza?

All right, horatio,

There's one reason we brought you here today,

And that is to find out what your favorite guilty

Pleasure fast food is. What did you bring for us?

Well, this is an iconic dish,

So let's bring out our food.

- Oh. - Oh.

- What? - It's aliens.

Oh, my gosh.

- Is that us? - That's us.

The government's finally admitting

That there might be aliens. - And they brought your dish.

Oh, my gosh.

- Big budget here. - Yeah.

You're from "mandalorian."

We're from alienville. What did you bring us?

Ladies and gentlemen, feast your eyes on a white castle,

Double cheeseburger and onion rings. Yes!

A white castle burger is this tiny little burger

That's 100% beef

That's just cooked in onions and it's steamed.

But if this oniony, cheesy, steamy beef goodness.

And it's a great after drink situation.

But I've had it sober and it's still really good.

These are everywhere in minnesota.

Do you eat these like before midnight,

Like when the sun is still up? - Sometimes.

Where is the burger? Is it really that thin? It is.

Yeah, it's as thing a quarter, but it's quite delicious.

There's usually one pickle.

That's my tolerance is one pickle.

- So you go no sauce? - No sauce.

Because the bun is like so steamy in the middle,

It treats its own like jammy, kind of like -- the meat gel?

There is osmosis that happens.

It all kind of comes together and becomes one.

Power of steam. Do they steam the whole burger once it's built?

Or is it.. The patties have five holes in them.

♪ ♪

What? I think the steam goes through the holes.

Oh, yeah.

- There's holes in the bun? - In the patty.

- Yes. - It's crazy, sir.

And then the steam comes straight through

With that onion flavor from the bottom.

There is some serious science behind this thing.

But what is it about onion rings over french fries for you?

Because they make them good there.

And these onion rings are always out of sight.

- Onion gel again. - Yep.

Yeah, they're like perfect dining rings.

All right, horatio, we've done our fair share

Of burgers here on "fast foodies,"

But this is definitely the most unique.

It's a slider. It's steamed.

The first thing we're going to do is try

And copycat your beloved sandwich

And these onion rings to a t.

And then we're going to put our own chef's spin on it

And remix your white castle double cheeseburger

And onion rings.

Then you'll have to crown a winner

Who's going to take home this chompionship trophy.

♪ ♪

We've got to do some cooking, so are you guys ready?

- So ready. - Let's go.

I'm so hungry.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

- Oh, I want one. Thanks. - Oh, now, I feel left out.

There we go. No one should feel left out.

Horatio, how appropriate is this apron for today? Huh?

We're going to take you to outer space with our flavors.

I really like that.

Jeremy ford, ladies and gentlemen.

♪ ♪

Is that 100% beef?

It is 100% ground beef, no antibiotics, ever,

No added hormones, no preservatives.

Oh, well, good luck.

The most important thing for this white castle slider

Is the really, really, like, paper thin meat.

So I'm taking ground beef seasoning it with salt, pepper,

Onion powder, garlic powder.

I'm rolling it between silpats to get it really,

Really nice and thin.

But I'm going to really kind of like mash it

So it gets all meat jam-like.

Doesn't that sound delicious?

Bowl placement is very, very important

For the correct steam ratio

To come through and cook all this up.

White castle is extremely unique.

They poke five holes in the meat in order to get the steam

To permeate through this little tiny burger patty.

I think, you know, steaming is the biggest key.

I'm just using little tweezers for my meat steam holes.

Yeah. So for me, the lemon juicer

Makes the perfect holes in these little patties.

You know you could get a pencil without

The eraser back in the day.

I put two pencils at the end of a broomstick, tie it up,

And then I wouldn't have to get out of bed

To change the tv.

That is the laziest thing I've ever heard my life. Thank you, yeah.

I lived at home till I was 28.

Yeah, horatio, I'm going straight

Into the onion rings here

And then I'm going to go work on my beef. Right.

I haven't eaten for a whole three hours, guys,

So I'm ready to go.

These onion rings at white castle

Are really crispy, and they actually taste like

There's real onion in them.

And I'm just doing a simple dredge of flour

Or some breadcrumbs garlic powder in there.

At home, don't be too scared to make

Onion rings from scratch.

It's super simple.

It's milk, flour, milk, breadcrumbs, fry.

Couldn't be any easier than that.

I think I'm going to win this one.

Very simple, straightforward onion ring.

I think justin and I are going to tack our onion rings

Slightly more authentic to white castle.

We're really going to tie it back

To the original for you, horatio.

Pro tip? It's an onion paste.

They chop up small onions, they pipe out a ring mold,

They freeze it, they deep fry it,

And they make these perfect rings.

I mean, the copycat round is all about nailing it. Okay.

I'm gonna show everybody my barbecue trick

For the cheese doesn't fall off.

Fold in, boom.

Little perfect cheesy there for your burger. - Ah!

It's like two or three fat guys are like,

"yeah, that sounds awesome, man. Hell yeah."

- So how's it going here? - I'm great.

I am carefully selecting the one pickle

That's going to go on each one.

We do not want to over pickle you. Thank you.

If you could see me through it, that's good.

That's a good one.

- Perfect. - Gotcha.

Now horatio, how many -- how many of these sliders

Can you really take down?

- Two doubles. - Yeah.

And then I'll have four regulars. Yep.

Then they'll be onion rings and fry.

I think I've done 16 sliders and an order of chicken wings.

Really? Oh, yeah. Marijuana's a hell of a drug.

What are you doing over there...

♪ ♪

I'm great, man.

For my white castle slider,

I'm going to have to trial and error this.

I have no idea how they got them this small.

Oh, look at this. This is beautiful.

I flattened it out.

I want it to fit my bun, you know, pretty precisely. That's pretty good detail.

So the only thing you have to remember

When you're making a burger patty

Is it does shrink a little bit in size when you cook it.

They can go from there to there.

We've had very interesting ways to doing the holes.

How are you going to make your holes? I'm gonna do, um...

Probably just like a little dab bar.

Dab bar. Kitchen term.

Boom, boom, boom, and boom.

You know that's a good one, but I don't know, man.

I wonder what happened to those aliens.

♪ ♪

White castle, mother.

I don't know why I just said mother like that.

♪ ♪

To do this copycat for the white castle slider,

My onions, I'm getting those started on my griddle

With a little bit of water and oil

To start seeping out and really steaming out those onions.

My fear is the onions aren't going to cook down

And be like that nice, soft, mushy texture.

So I'm going to give those a head start.

Onions are quite pungent.

So if you don't give them a little bit of a head start

In the steaming department,

They're going to be almost crunchy.

- Grill them a little bit. - Exactly.

If you want to take some of these cheese things.

Smells fantastic.

Doesn't it smell like white castle? Yeah.

There are four different separate entities --

The onion, the burger, the cheese, and the bread.

The hawaiian bread is very, very sweet.

So I don't want to use all hawaiian bread.

So for the center bun, I'm going to use a hawaiian bun,

And for the top and bottom buns,

I'm using regular hamburger buns that I trim the edges to,

And it's all like melding into like one jammy...

♪ ♪

This is not a grilled burger,

It's not a flat top burger.

The number one thing about this little tiny burger

Is that the meat is steamed on top of a bed of tiny,

Tiny onions.

I solely cooked the onions first, then put the burger on.

At the very end, I put a lid on,

Hit it with a little water just to lightly sear these buns.

Perfectly cooked onions underneath,

The cheese has melted, the buns are lightly steamed.

- Oh, wow, this is a delicious...

Look at that cheesy oniony orgy in there. Whoa!

So I'm going to give these guys

Just a few minutes in the old steamer here.

I'm going to take a different approach.

Unlike justin and kristen, I'm actually

Going to build the whole burger.

Then I'm going to steam them in my little homemade steamer

I've got here.

Yeah!

Jeremy is making his own homemade onion rings,

Which I think is wonderful. But we're not chefs this round.

We are white castle employees. Recreationists.

So we took these great onion rings from a plastic bag,

A little bit of salt.

Then we'll call it a day. Very nice.

Right now, replication.

Fresh onion rings, huh?

♪ ♪

All right, horatio, that was our copycat round.

I think I'll go first, why don't you get to tasting?

All right, here we go.

I seasoned it with a little onion powder, garlic powder,

And I use two different kinds of buns.

The middle one is the hawaiian bun,

And then I use normal hamburger buns and cut those down

Because I don't want to overloaded with sweetness.

Right away, the moisture is good.

There's a bun in the middle. Yeah.

It's quite delicious.

- I'll tell you what. - Yes.

- The patties are a little thick. - Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Baby's got back.

This was a hard one.

But as long as it tastes good, I'm happy. It tastes delicious.

And I opened up a really awesome bag of onion rings,

And I fried them.

Onion rings are perfect! Yes!

All right, horatio, I'm glad you enjoyed

My thick girl over here.

♪ Oh, yeah ♪

But I think you got more food to eat.

So, justin, why don't you go next?

I would love to.

I tried to roll the meat out nice and thin,

Mixed in some onions and salt and pepper.

Definitely tried to get a thinner patty.

- And used the hawaiian? - I did.

So you did a really great job. Thin patty.

Three quarters thick.

Take that guy out.

One little pickle, bro. One pickle.

There's no mayo, there's nothing in there?

No, it's because it's that jam --

That meltiness of that middle bun

When we steamed it up with the onions at the burger

Patties raw on the flat top, stacked the bun on,

And steamed it altogether so that bun got soft.

That meat absorbed all that steam,

That oniony flavor and just kind of all melded

Into one mushy, jammy white castle slider bite.

It's doing exactly what we've been talking about,

Which is like all becomes one thing.

Onion rings are spot on again.

Spot on. - Again, again.

- High-five. - Thank you.

But we do still have one more amazing chef

With a steamed patty for you to try.

So this is the mini me double slider.

I wanted to give you a fresh onion ring today.

I know that the typical ones probably come out of a bag,

But I made yours today.

When you dive in there, you'll get all that cheesy

Oniony goodness

That you've been searching your whole life for.

♪ ♪

The bun melted nicely on there,

But too much pickle.

That damn -- that damn pickle.

I mean, it's so small.

- It's like a cheez-it. - It's like a cheez-it.

That's a baby piece of meat.

- You're a baby piece of meat. - Oh, thank you.

There's your homemade onion rings.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

That's very nice. Chef's kiss on the onion rings. Sweet.

I'll go to your restaurant, pick up onion rings,

And then go to white castle.

I highly recommend that.

All right, horatio, you have the difficult job

Of picking a winner.

Justin, you got the cheese, meat, onion, melty.

The whole thing kind of like becomes its own little thing.

Kristen, your meat is fantastic, but it's almost too much.

Too thick, too good.

Jeremy, perhaps the best onion ring

I've ever had in my whole life. Yes.

Now, ultimately, I have to pick a winner.

I hate to do it because you know everyone's so good here, but...

♪ ♪

- Justin, congratulations. - Oh, thank you.

- Yeah! - Yay!

Your burger tastes more like white castle

Than almost white castle.

Very job. Very good job.

Thank you, thank you, sir. I appreciate it.

Me being the winner means that I get to give a disadvantage

To these two going into the remix round.

So you want to have a seat and we'll get going?

- Let's do it. - Let's do it, guys.

Do it. Break a leg.

And now it's remix time.

♪ ♪

So it's a remix round,

And we're taking on this white castle

Double slider with cheese and onion rings

And turn it into something completely different.

Have you ever had an arancini before? No.

Basically an italian fried rice ball.

And I'm taking this awesome wagyu beef.

Got so much great beefy flavor.

Cooking sushi rice.

I'm rendering beef for my beef fat

To cook my shallots and sage and thyme all the flavors

Without actually using pieces of beef in this dish.

♪ Oh, little fried rice balls ♪

♪ you taste so damn good ♪

Elton john.

I want to do a pasta so I'm gonna kind of do

A play on beef stroganoff.

Get a nice, really rich broth.

I'm also going to use wagyu beef. Beautiful.

I'm going to do thin sliced wagyu beef

That's going to be steamed by this pasta.

Just like white castle

And really accentuate the oniony-ness

By making melted onions with crispy beef fat croutons.

I'm going to take a beef approach to this then

And do a little soy miso marinade on the steak

So it has that like charred, delicious thing to tie it back

To that griddle burger flavor.

I'm going to use a really high-grade wagyu beef,

And when I sear my beef,

I'm going to kind of lacquer it in this beautiful

Umami-like broth, and I'm going to work

On making beautiful soba noodles from scratch.

I've got something cool going on here.

In case anyone gives a shit.

You know that word jammy got tossed around a lot today,

The meat jam?

So I'm going to take a little play on words.

I'm going to jam these peppers into a little jam.

I'm going to make a little onion pepper chili jam for the beef

Because the beef was jammy.

You wanna come burn some peppers? Yeah, yeah!

All right. It's a great job.

All right, when I say burn,

I mean, like all the way from top to bottom.

Who knew cooking could be so fun?

Oh, yeah...

♪ ♪

And then we put the weed in the middle?

♪ ♪

So I basically took those meat scraps and rendering

All that amazing, beefy flavor,

And this is our "burger portion."

So now that it's rendered,

I'm gonna it all out when you put it with something like rice,

Which is now acting as our bun.

Things like this are like a sponge.

So they really can soak up so much flavor

And you have to really load it all in there,

Otherwise, it kind of just tastes like plain rice,

Which is fine, but not what we're going for for today. Right.

- So it's like risotto. - But deep fried.

- Okay, all right. - Arancini.

Yeah. That's actually where arancini came from because they were

Figuring out how to use up the extra risotto

At the end of the night in italian restaurants. There it is.

They made little balls and deep-fried it. And throw them at each other?

Here, you have to catch it.

Heyo! Opa!

♪ ♪

Ooh, justin, what are you doing?

I'm making egg noodles, actually,

Kind of for a stroganoff.

You want to throw it through? Yeah, you do. Yeah, you do.

Let the machine do the work, just kind of let it slowly fall,

Catch it on the other side.

Perfect. That's the thickness we want.

We're actually cut these into fettuccine-style noodles.

Like gene simmons' tongue.

You have some pretty dark dough.

You gotta work the flour.

I'm going to work on my beautiful soba noodles

Made up of buckwheat flour.

It'll be the steamed bun element, but it'll also

Have a little more flavor, a little more texture.

So we're gonna do it, we're gonna fold it like a book.

I'm going to give it a little dust.

The technique I learned is like this it's a side toss.

And you see a lot in pizza shops and they're always dusting

The things see that kind of scatters it evenly.

It's like a little like, roll the dice.

All right. Kind of do a toss, right?

- Oh, yeah. - Oh, yeah.

Oh!

And you know, this is kind of when you pick

How long you want your noodle.

So you want to go here?

Yeah, I think that's good, right? Wow, I like it.

- That's not too much trouble. - Yeah.

Then you're going to put it right in here.

Okay, opa! How am I doing? How am I doing? How am I doing?

- Pick it up. - Oh!

All right, buckwheat noodles for the win.

Beautiful!

Should we get that disadvantage going, guys?

Brought to you by plastic wrap,

Keeping food kinky since 1952.

All right, so we got a little game

I like to call "live from new york."

You're going to put on the statue of liberty helmets.

In your torch, you're each going to carry one full beer.

I've never felt more like a lady than I do now.

In your dominant hand, you're going to hold that up

And you can only use your left hand for three minutes.

After the three minutes up, you have to chug the beer,

Then you can go back to cooking. - Okay, okay.

And we look stupid. - Yeah, you look great.

- Hold that up high. - Okay.

Three minutes. Start the time.

Hey, siri, set a timer for three minutes. Okay, all right.

Get absolutely nothing done with this.

Jeremy raise that up. Come on. Yeah, yeah.

Let's get it together here. Ooh, it's a workout.

At least kristen's holding it up following the rules!

- Come on! - My arm is hurting.

My shoulder hurts.

Should have made better sliders, guys.

I think mine was too good, right?

It would have been really good at a big backyard barbecue.

You would have blown everyone's sandals off.

- Yeah, you ready? - All right.

Five, four, three, two, one.

I think he might win.

I think this one's going to take you down.

Attaboy. - Ah!

Cheers!

♪ ♪

Never done the lime in the shot before.

Is that chilean?

- No, that's bad bartendering. - All right.

♪ ♪

All right, horatio, that was our remix round.

Chef jeremy should go first.

- Me? - Yeah.

All right, here is my remix.

I did a little bit of the seasoning from the slider

That's on the wagyu beef,

And it also made the glaze for it as well.

And then the noodles are our steamed bun.

Also the jam.

The meat was very jammy today,

So I made a jam so we can jam. All right.

♪ ♪

Well, that's really good, that's really good meat.

It's really...

Is it really tying it back to that bite we had earlier

That delicious white castle burger?

The au jus, it does bring home that beefy-ness

And the noodles are like a nice bun,

But the meat's out of this world.

We have another amazing chef up to bat.

Take it away, kristen.

All right. This is my remix of the white castle slider.

Yeah, yeah, yeah!

♪ ♪

All right, horatio, this is my remix. Yeah, yeah, yeah!

I used the rice, so it's the bottom portion.

I added lots of cheese, a little bit of veal stock

To bring out that white castle beefy-ness.

I rendered fat two also fold into all of that,

Sautéed and sweated down shallots,

Garlic, and caramelized onions

Because we can't forget the onion rings,

Which was a big part of that dish.

So why don't you take the first bite?

All right, there you go. Get an angle.

Here comes the airplane.

It was like eating with my grandparents.

I mean, so much flavor.

Are you getting the tie back to white castle?

I can see that.

There's a beef essence,

But there's no beef in it, right? Right.

The crust is so good.

Really does bring it all together,

And it's fantastic.

Thank you very much. - Thank you very much.

Justin, why don't you go next?

Horatio, this is my remix. Ooh.

What I did is make a beef stroganoff.

I made some homemade egg noodles.

On top is some shaved wagyu beef that is raw that we set

On top of the hot noodles

To hopefully have the noodles just lightly steam them

To start breaking that fat down.

I made some pickled mushrooms, a little fried parsley,

A little dill and then finished off with some shaved pecorino.

♪ ♪

Mm, you know what?

The dill is bringing home the white castle. Right?

Like, I don't love pickles,

But I do love that little taste of it. Right.

You make these noodles taste like that cheesy sandwich thing.

I mean, this is an exquisite. Appreciate that.

The crunch is beautiful.

It's gonna be hard for me to choose as a favorite.

For reals.

All right, I'm going to go grab the trophy

So we can get this going.

- She's heavy. - She's heavy today.

She's solid gold tacos. Oh, it's gold.

So now for the big reveal,

The winner of this competition this week.

♪ ♪

Jeremy. - Yeah!

Whoo-hoo! I love you, man.

All right. Get away. All right, we're getting away. Yep.

The balance of the soba noodles with the beef,

I mean, it was just a really, really nicely made dish.

Jeremy, not only are you this week's big, big winner

As a token of my appreciation,

I would like to give you a little extra gift.

Here we go.

He loves his gifts.

Oh, it's a white castle king.

Feel free to wear that crown all weekend.

You should take your hat off and put the crown on.

Yes, let's let that shiner show through.

So this evening, I am the ruler of the fast foodies kingdom.

Voilà.

Horatio, thanks again not only for the trophy,

But for this kick ass shirt.

It's a little small, but I'll grow into it.

I say, grab the trophy and get out of here

And keep the night going. What do you guys say?

- Yo. - Sounds good.

- All right. - I'm going to sleep.