Original subtitles

This sucks! This is my summer vacation?!

Looking out at the street?!

Hey, don't sell the street short,

Lotta cool stuff happens out there.

Yesterday I saw a guy pushing a broken salon chair.

All my friends are off doing cool stuff.

Toshi's at sat camp,

Barry's teaching tracing at his old daycare,

And snot's working at his uncle's meatpacking plant.

Those are cool things.

Summer vacation is the worst.

You shut your queso hole, amigo.

Summer vacation is the sole reason I became a principal.

Well, that and the easy access to low-grade drugs.

It's summer! We can do anything we want!

Ride bikes to rb burger, take a piss off the ol' bridge.

Hell, we could explore those unfinished homes

On the edge of town.

Ah, that stuff is all so lame!

What is it you want to do, steve?

Actually, I did have this great idea

The guys never wanted to do.

Design an app where kids can hang with other kids.

No parents. No adults.

A place where kids are free to connect

And blossom on their own.

Hell yeah, I consider myself a kid at heart.

Well, no one treats me like an adult, at least.

And you know I want what's best for kids.

All I do is in their honor.

Klaus: Ahhh! It's the guy with the salon chair!

He's going the other way!

Maybe he was going the wrong way before.

[ chuckles ] something tells me

That cat's always going the wrong way.

[ patriotic music plays ]

♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪

♪ I got a feelin' that it's gonna be a wonderful day ♪

♪ the sun in the sky has a smile on his face ♪

♪ and he's shinin' a salute to the american race ♪

♪ oh, boy, it's swell to say ♪

♪ good -- ♪ ♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪

Aah!

♪ good morning, u.S.A. ♪

On my app, without adult influence,

Kids can just connect and have fun!

Kids do hate adults up in their biz!

Klaus: Yeah, but how you going to keep the adults off the app?

Steve: Kids can hear

Two to three registers higher than adults.

So, by using an audio login, we could keep adults out.

Ahhh. Smart!

Well, the most important thing

For any app is influencers.

Influencers bring traffic to the site.

Kayaker: Hey, I'm kayaking down here!

I follow all the big influencers

And if I could get my hands on a few green ones

They could become the real deal and get you tons of users.

Got a name for the app? Gotta have a cool name.

I was thinking kidzzone.

Ugh. Ugh. Horrible.

Kids don't like stuff that sounds like it's for kids.

All the cool vapes I take from kids

Have sexy, vague names like...

Blue violet.

Whoaaaaa...

[ banging on window ]

My gut is going crazy.

[ stomach gurgles ]

There must be an amazing idea in here.

Oh, hideki's gut is famously business savvy.

Hey, my son's funny-looking friend,

Do you see anyone in here who might have an idea?

Me! I do!

A social media app for kids only, no adults allowed!

And it's called blue violet.

Hahaha. That's so stupid.

What a stupid name. And run by a kid?

[ laughs ]

That is too funny.

I'm finding this all very funny.

[ gasps ]

Maybe this is the good idea.

Chicken, froyo, some kinda tan stuff.

This has so much flavor!

[ retches ]

Almost too much flavor for my stomach to contain!

Hideki's right. We can't start a tech company.

No, no, no, no, steve. Now we must start the company.

To spite hideki's sorry ass.

What?! The fish is right.

When you're faced with adversity,

You've gotta remember one thing -- [bleep] the haters.

Yeah, huck them faders, bro.

Come on, brian, let's educate this kid.

♪ huck them, huck them, huck them faders, bro ♪

♪ huck them, huck them, huck them faders, bro ♪

♪ when people give you shit, you tell 'em where to go ♪

♪ h-e-double-l and you can add an "o" ♪

♪ if you standing in my way you can get bent ♪

♪ I should kill you, fool, but I gave it up for lent ♪

♪ let 'em get you heated, make your blood boil ♪

♪ let that rev your engine like a ninety-octane oil ♪

♪ time for you to nut up, time for you to buck up ♪

♪ tell hideki and his kind to kindly shut the [bleep] up ♪

♪ listen to us, we know what we're saying ♪

♪ we're the baddest boys around and I ain't even playing ♪

♪ I got a sick orange truck and a fly alcove ♪

♪ and all around my town, they look at me as if my name's hov ♪

♪ you think I briefly dated danuta by listening to haters ♪

♪ no, I told them where to go and suck my now and laters ♪

♪ it's ya boy brian lewis, and I'm here to boast ♪

♪ top-four principal, on the whole east coast ♪

♪ well known from newport news to michigan ♪

♪ I take little punks and mold them into citizens ♪

♪ but if you come at me wrong, be it night or day ♪

♪ I'll burn it all down and yell ♪

♪ come out and playyyy ♪

♪ it's not just from us whom you should take a page ♪

♪ steve jobs started apple 'cause he knew how to rage ♪

♪ if marie curie wasn't pissed there'd be no radium at all ♪

♪ and miley would have never written "wrecking ball" ♪

♪ steve, you're such a badass bitch, so let 'em know ♪

♪ direct 'em to your nuts and tell them where to blow ♪

♪ come on! ♪

Ah! Ouch! That guy didn't know what hit him --

What happened?! Where's the ridiculousness?

Ahhhhhhhh!

It's turning channels, but nothing's on!

It's the cable. I'm on with the cable company.

He says their whole business model is broken.

Gotta buy a streaming box or something.

No! No, no. Cable worked.

This is not a streaming house.

But then no "ridiculousness."

How are we going to have fun?

Jeffy, people have been having fun for eons,

Sharing stories and songs.

I got this old banjo.

Nope, I'm out.

I'm gonna go light a cigarette off the stove

And smoke the whole thing inside.

Thanks again for pushing me to start this.

Oh, look at the server! See that blinking light?

That means we have a user!

Probably from me, man.

Been bustin' my fin all over town

Trying to market the app to kids.

Hanging around schools,

That bagel shop the chimdale high girls go to.

Carefully inserting myself in their conversations.

I don't like the sound of that.

Don't worry, I'm a marketing guru, bro.

There he is! That fish tried to get my kid to some website

With no adult supervision!

My son says he kept repeating "no adult supervision."

Gotta stay on message.

I emailed every parent I know,

And posted on as many facebook pages as possible

To tell their kids to stay away from your terrible site.

Thanks a lot, klaus! We're ruined!

Whoa, look! The server!

Haha. If there's one thing kids love doing,

It's what their parents tell them not to do.

Psh, don't ever doubt me,

I'm the voice of the youth, son.

I have the mind of a child.

Hey, stevie jobs.

I just got a notice from langley electric

That we're using eight hundred dollars of juice a day!

Hm, I think roger got a new dyson vacuum.

Maybe that's it.

Either cover the costs or shut it down.

Steve, maybe it's time to take on a few local advertisers.

No! We're never gonna do ads!

Maybe that's why I am here.

My gut led me here late last night.

I spent the last five days at langley general.

While there I realized your app probably was the idea

My tummy liked, and not the plate of garbage I ate.

It takes a big man to realize that.

Please, let me invest in your childish company.

I'll give you all the money you need,

You keep doing what you're doing and we split it all fifty-fifty.

I'll do it...But you only get twenty-five percent.

Twenty-five percent?

Yeah, because we're splitting it four ways.

Gut?

[ stomach grumbles ]

Deal. All: Yes!!

♪ level up, level up, level up ♪

♪ blue violet... ♪

♪ I've been working my whole life for this ♪

♪ I'm on the straight and narrow so I would never miss, no, no ♪

♪ I got big brain energy and know how to use it ♪

♪ now I got the chance and I'm not gonna lose it ♪

♪ we're blowin' up out of here ♪

♪ levelin' up past the stratosphere ♪

♪ it's not the time to fade, it's the time to shine ♪

♪ 'cause the chance is now, oh, the moment is mine ♪

♪ now we got kids logging on across the globe, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ all the way from taipei to rome and mexico ♪

♪ 'cause the kids are the future, adults are the past ♪

♪ so climb on your modem and kiss my digital ass ♪

♪ s-train, k-dog, lewlew, you know that's tight ♪

♪ the three of us keep the ship upright ♪

♪ I'm the one in charge, my man klaus ♪

♪ best marketer in the game ♪

♪ lewis, he came up with the name ♪

So you came up with the name?

That's right, jimmy... Blue violet...

Haha, that's so funny. I laugh so hard at everything.

♪ yo, it's your boy klaus, I run the influencer house ♪

♪ I keep traffic flowin' to the site ♪

♪ with dancers and singers that delight ♪

♪ got a guy that prays to the lord ♪

♪ and a girl that can chop through a board ♪

♪ this girl knows how to make leftovers last ♪

♪ and this guy makes sandwiches super fast ♪

♪ I keep this house purring like a porsche cayenne ♪

♪ a tech temple fit for a digital mayan ♪

♪ and like a ten-year-old that looks presidential ♪

♪ we're not even close to reaching our potential ♪

♪ it's not the time to fade, it's the time to shine ♪

♪ 'cause the chance is now, oh, the moment is mine ♪

♪ level up, level up, level up ♪

♪ blue violet... ♪

[ appalachian banjo song playing ]

This is great fun.

I don't miss tv at all.

But...Would anyone mind if we classed it up just a touch?

I'm already there.

Classy! Classy!

This summer vacation has turned out amazing!

For us, and all the kids talking to each other on our app!

I heard a kid from sweden and another from rhode island

Are working on solving climate change!

Using bootleg simpsons porn!

Man, great ideas always seem so obvious after the fact.

Ah, good, you all are together.

Magic merv's gummy vegan treats

Made us a multi-million-dollar offer

For naming rights to our video player.

It's not an ad! Technically.

All: No!

So sorry, I don't know what got into me.

I ate some more garbage the other day, maybe that's it.

[ elevator bell dings ]

So, uh... Simpsons porn, you say...

Sorry to keep you waiting,

We're planning the world's first digital sleepover.

No rules, no bedtimes.

Drink mountain dew, wet the bed, doesn't matter.

Steve smith. Tina mctines,

Teen journalist for the new york teen times.

I'll get right into it.

I love the heart behind blue violet.

Which is why I was so bummed

To see you start to allow advertising --

No, no, no, no, no. We'll never have advertising.

Uh, yes, you do.

Ah! Ah!

Ahhh!

Sexy sodas?! Big fun guns?!

We said no ads!

And I noted that.

But even with your three "no" votes,

The board still voted in favor of allowing advertising.

Board?! You agreed to the board of fat cats

The first day you signed into your computer.

It was in that little terms and agreement popup.

Or didn't you read it? You clicked that you read it.

What?! Nobody reads those.

Hahahaha. I know!

I tricked you! I thought it would be easy

Because you are a kid and it was!

[ stomach rumbles ]

Hey! I have another idea.

Let's vote steve and his friends out of the company!

All in favor?!

Oh, and we also get to name your first born child!

That was in the terms, as well!

We're thinking dorkface stinkerbutt!

Unless it's a boy!

Then we're gonna call him gary!

[ laughs ]

Klaus, hideki stole the company!

What's going on here?

I don't know, man.

I think drugs may have gotten into the house.

I'm up! I'm up! Ca-ka!

Influencer: Ca-ka!

Up? It's 4:00 p.M.

Certified mail from blue violet.

But we're blue violet.

[ gasps ] eviction?!

That's what I've been telling you!

Hideki installed a board of directors and kicked us out!

Hey, man, you got to change your tone,

Lewis and I are on a loooooot of molly.

[ classical harpsichord music playing ]

Hayley.

Jeffrey.

Roger. Stan.

This is exactly the dumb shit I knew was going to happen.

Man, it might be the total lack of serotonin

In my brain right now but I am devastated.

Hideki stole everything from us.

And the app is doing the exact opposite

Of what it was supposed to.

It's actually hurting kids.

I heard child obesity is up two hundred percent

Since they let all those ads on.

I got all this stuff on your app!

Thanks, steve!

We should've never even started the app.

Then let's destroy it.

Yeah, let's huck fideki up!

Wait a second, I did install a kill switch

In the original programming

Back when we started and I didn't trust you guys.

Great thinking! So smart!

We just have to get to the servers.

Good luck with that,

I'm buddies with the security guards there,

And they're always bragging about

How it's impossible to break into that place.

And they say it with such bad breath!

Which I jokingly call the first level of security.

Come on, the three of us created

The greatest app for children in the history of the world!

Surely we can think of something.

Maybe that's it -- the app!

We can use it the way it was intended.

Use the app to defeat the app.

What? What are we doing?

We can outsource help from kids on the app.

Adults still can't log in.

Hideki'll never see it coming.

Never see what exactly?

Write down all the security features

Your buddies told you about.

And I'll start getting us help.

Guys, for real. What are we doing?

Lewis: Blue violet?

Ha. I got a new name for you...

Blue violence.

♪ to my generation, this is a call ♪

♪ the old ways not working, it's time for a change ♪

♪ don't know what I'm saying, get the [bleep] out my lane ♪

♪ we'll take it from here, we mean you no pain ♪

♪ your money and your clout, they just ruinin' the game ♪

♪ but I'm not here just to complain ♪

♪ you won't see it comin', you won't see a thang ♪

♪ rip your arms off like an orangutan ♪

♪ time you wake up, we'll be sipping champagne ♪

♪ won't know which way is up, eatin' your meals from a cup ♪

♪ tell the stars and the birdies that I say wazzup ♪

♪ this marriage no longer has a prenup ♪

♪ I'm like your scorned husband, pullin' up in the u-haul truck ♪

♪ you think it's funny but, honey, ain't nothin' funny 'bout money ♪

♪ 'cuz now you're messin' with my cash, what, you think I'm a dummy ♪

♪ I'm hungry and I'm gonna eat ya ♪

♪ you play with my cheese, better be on a pizza ♪

♪ now you're prayin' to god on your knees ♪

♪ well, get ready 'cuz he wants to meet ya ♪

♪ you just [bleep] with the wrong kid ♪

♪ regrets, you're about to have a few ♪

♪ gonna wish that you'd run away and hid ♪

♪ remember that when our nuts drop into view ♪

♪ hideki you're a piece of trash, I'm coming for you ♪

♪ gonna shove my fist up your little [bleep] ♪

♪ and there's nothing that you can do ♪

And I'm going to rip that dumb little gut out your stomach!

And I'm gonna eat that [bleep] in front of your kids!

Toshi and akiko! That's right, I'm sayin' their names.

Do something motha-[bleep]

Do something motha-[bleep] [bleep] all your [bleep]

I'll [bleep] on your ass! Whoa, whoa, whoa!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

[ timer beeping ]

Alright. Go time.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Okay, captain tommy, let us know when the coast is clear.

Argh, security's headed away on the starboard side.

Just a few more steps and the coast be clear.

Aye, the coast be clear.

♪♪

♪♪

[ cameras beeping ]

♪♪

Right on time.

[ elevator beeps ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Touchdown.

♪♪

There it is...

[ server beeping ]

♪♪

Not so fast.

How did you know we were coming?

I didn't. My tummy led me here three days ago.

I did not know why,

I was hoping maybe it was to befriend a mouse,

Which has always been a dream of mine.

You need to stop the app. It's horrible for children.

Unfortunately, I do not care.

Screw you, you can't stop us!

He's not going to shoot us. I'm friends with his son.

They're tazers. I'll taze the crap out of you.

Show him.

Why'd you taze me, mitch?

You skipped right over trevor.

Steve, I think maybe it's time

For you two to catch a flight out of here.

[ electricity zapping, lewis grunting ]

Change of plans, we're going to need pickup

On the north side of sixteen. Now!

[ groaning ]

[ both scream ]

♪♪

[ mouse squeaks ]

[ harp playing ]

Here. Now we can stream "ridiculousness."

[ music plays, audience laughs ]

Dyrdek: Oh, splat!

Man on tv get hurt in balls.

I don't know, I like streaming.

Oh, yeah, for sure. I was an early adopter.

[ laughter ] dyrdek: Oh, no!

I think that guy just broke his dick!

So they'd already backed up all the servers, huh?

Yep. We woulda had to blow up an amazon server farm in texas

And a satellite to even cause a dip in the site's traffic.

Oh, yeah, nowadays it's all up in the cloud.

I would have told you, but I was super confused about the plan.

I got a court date in two weeks.

Hopefully the school district will let me

Keep an eye on the kids from jail.

I mean, a lot of people work remote these days.

You guys are back!

Meatpacking is not for me.

They made me name all the cows before they got slaughtered,

I still don't know why that's a job.

Sorry about your website, steve.

I'm still using it.

"dear steve, your company has been very profitable for me.

To show my appreciation, I have dropped all charges against you,

That man, and that fish.

Also, I told toshi next summer

He does not have to go to sat camp

If he spends time with you instead.

He could learn a lot from you."

Hell yeah! What a bitchin' summer.

You know, I learned a very valuable lesson this summer.

Maybe it could help you guys, too.

♪ huck them, huck them, huck them faders, bro... ♪

♪ when people give you shit, you tell 'em where to go ♪

♪ h-e-double-l and you can add an "o" ♪

Bye! Have a great time!