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1
00:00:20,056 --> 00:00:23,193
You unlock this door
with the key of imagination.
2
00:00:23,228 --> 00:00:25,562
Beyond it is another dimension-
3
00:00:25,597 --> 00:00:26,813
a dimension of sound,
4
00:00:27,482 --> 00:00:29,315
a dimension of sight,
5
00:00:29,350 --> 00:00:31,818
a dimension of mind.
6
00:00:31,853 --> 00:00:34,954
You're moving into a land
of both shadow and substance,
7
00:00:34,989 --> 00:00:36,823
of things and ideas.
8
00:00:36,858 --> 00:00:39,959
You've just crossed over
into the twilight zone.
9
00:01:01,981 --> 00:01:03,850
Whoa.
10
00:01:44,140 --> 00:01:45,391
What's your
pleasure, sir?
11
00:01:45,426 --> 00:01:46,643
Cold beer.
12
00:01:46,678 --> 00:01:49,145
Cold beer, she is.
13
00:01:54,784 --> 00:01:56,653
That'll be a nickel.
14
00:01:59,789 --> 00:02:01,658
It's a lovely
little town.
15
00:02:02,292 --> 00:02:03,543
What's that?
16
00:02:03,578 --> 00:02:06,663
I was just remarking
about your town.
17
00:02:06,698 --> 00:02:11,050
It's a beautiful, peaceful
little place you've got here.
18
00:02:11,085 --> 00:02:15,421
It's the name
that really gets me.
19
00:02:15,456 --> 00:02:17,307
Happiness, arizona.
20
00:02:17,342 --> 00:02:20,426
Yeah, that's what
she's called-
21
00:02:21,060 --> 00:02:22,929
happiness, arizona.
22
00:02:22,964 --> 00:02:25,431
Let's see, she's
been called that
23
00:02:25,466 --> 00:02:27,317
about ten
months now.
24
00:02:27,352 --> 00:02:29,819
Oh! What was she called
before that?
25
00:02:29,854 --> 00:02:31,070
Called before that?
26
00:02:31,105 --> 00:02:32,322
Oh, various things.
27
00:02:32,357 --> 00:02:34,190
Satan's stage stop.
28
00:02:34,225 --> 00:02:35,441
Dead man's junction.
29
00:02:35,476 --> 00:02:37,944
Boothill village-
you passed it.
30
00:02:37,979 --> 00:02:39,195
Boothill
town cemetery.
31
00:02:39,230 --> 00:02:41,080
128 people
buried there.
32
00:02:41,115 --> 00:02:43,583
Every one of them
shot to death
33
00:02:43,618 --> 00:02:46,085
except one who died
of natural causes.
34
00:02:46,120 --> 00:02:47,337
Well, that's life.
35
00:02:47,372 --> 00:02:50,456
Ah, this town wasn't
a fit place to live in.
36
00:02:50,491 --> 00:02:51,708
Wasn't a night
37
00:02:51,743 --> 00:02:54,210
you wouldn't have to
step over a dead body.
38
00:02:54,245 --> 00:02:55,461
That a fact?
39
00:02:55,496 --> 00:02:57,347
All of them shooting
every night.
40
00:02:57,382 --> 00:02:59,849
There were more citizens
biting the dust
41
00:02:59,884 --> 00:03:02,352
than there was attending
sunday services.
42
00:03:02,387 --> 00:03:04,220
Ah, do tell.
43
00:03:04,255 --> 00:03:06,723
And then, do you know
what happened?
44
00:03:06,758 --> 00:03:08,608
I can't even
begin to guess.
45
00:03:08,643 --> 00:03:11,110
Exactly- town took
stock of itself.
46
00:03:11,728 --> 00:03:13,613
Got itself
a real effective sheriff.
47
00:03:13,648 --> 00:03:15,481
Put the kibosh on firearms.
48
00:03:15,516 --> 00:03:18,618
Built itself a jail and
a gallows, enforced the law.
49
00:03:18,653 --> 00:03:19,869
Next thing you know...
50
00:03:20,486 --> 00:03:22,989
happiness, arizona!
51
00:03:23,024 --> 00:03:25,491
Where a man can walk
down the street
52
00:03:25,526 --> 00:03:26,743
and have himself a drink
53
00:03:26,778 --> 00:03:29,245
without having
to check the mirror
54
00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,748
and see who's
gunning after him.
55
00:03:31,783 --> 00:03:33,633
Now, that's
progress, mister.
56
00:03:33,668 --> 00:03:35,501
Well, it's
this kind of thing
57
00:03:35,536 --> 00:03:38,004
that kind of brings
tears to my eyes.
58
00:03:38,039 --> 00:03:40,506
Oh, now, you don't
have to be scared
59
00:03:40,541 --> 00:03:42,392
to show any
emotion, sir.
60
00:03:42,427 --> 00:03:43,643
I know the feeling.
61
00:03:43,678 --> 00:03:46,763
Been living with
killing and violence
62
00:03:46,798 --> 00:03:49,265
all your life,
and then suddenly
63
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:50,516
it's kind of like...
64
00:03:50,551 --> 00:03:54,270
it's kind of like the sun
coming over a dark cloud
65
00:03:54,305 --> 00:03:58,024
and shining on you with its
warm rays of beneficence.
66
00:03:58,059 --> 00:04:01,160
I do a little preaching
on the side too.
67
00:04:01,195 --> 00:04:02,412
What's your line, sir?
68
00:04:02,447 --> 00:04:03,663
My... my line?
69
00:04:03,698 --> 00:04:04,914
What do you do?
70
00:04:05,531 --> 00:04:08,034
I'm on the road a
good deal of the time.
71
00:04:08,069 --> 00:04:09,285
Selling!
72
00:04:09,320 --> 00:04:11,170
In a manner of speaking.
73
00:04:11,205 --> 00:04:13,673
Services are my supply.
74
00:04:13,708 --> 00:04:14,290
Services?
75
00:04:14,325 --> 00:04:16,793
Well, what sort
of services?
76
00:04:16,828 --> 00:04:19,929
Maybe i can
throw a little
business your way.
77
00:04:19,964 --> 00:04:21,180
You might at that.
78
00:04:21,215 --> 00:04:23,683
This is a town
that could use me.
79
00:04:23,718 --> 00:04:24,934
What sort
of services
80
00:04:24,969 --> 00:04:26,185
you supplying?
81
00:04:26,220 --> 00:04:28,438
I bring back the dead.
82
00:04:32,809 --> 00:04:35,945
Introducing mr. Jared garrity,
a gentleman of commerce
83
00:04:35,980 --> 00:04:39,699
who in the latter half of the
19th century plied his trade
84
00:04:39,734 --> 00:04:41,567
in the wild and
wooly hinterlands
85
00:04:41,602 --> 00:04:43,202
of the american west.
86
00:04:43,237 --> 00:04:45,071
And mr. Garrity,
if one can believe him,
87
00:04:45,106 --> 00:04:48,207
is a resurrector of the dead,
which on the face of it
88
00:04:48,825 --> 00:04:51,327
certainly sounds like the bull
is off the nickel.
89
00:04:51,362 --> 00:04:53,212
But to the scoffers
amongst you,
90
00:04:53,247 --> 00:04:55,715
and you ladies and gentlemen
from missouri,
91
00:04:55,750 --> 00:04:57,583
don't laugh this one
off entirely,
92
00:04:57,618 --> 00:05:01,337
at least until you've seen
a sample of mr. Garrity's wares
93
00:05:01,372 --> 00:05:03,840
and an example of his services.
94
00:05:03,875 --> 00:05:05,725
The place is happiness, arizona,
95
00:05:05,760 --> 00:05:07,593
the time about 1890,
96
00:05:07,628 --> 00:05:11,347
and you and i have just entered
a saloon where the bar whiskey
97
00:05:11,382 --> 00:05:14,484
is brewed, bottled and delivered
from the twilight zone.
98
00:05:36,773 --> 00:05:38,024
What'd he say
his name was?
99
00:05:38,059 --> 00:05:39,276
He didn't say.
100
00:05:39,311 --> 00:05:41,778
He's got a sign
on his wagon.
101
00:05:41,813 --> 00:05:42,779
It says garrity.
102
00:05:42,814 --> 00:05:44,664
That could
be his name.
103
00:05:44,699 --> 00:05:46,032
By golly, that's
deduction.
104
00:05:46,067 --> 00:05:47,918
You know why we
got law and order
105
00:05:48,535 --> 00:05:49,169
in this town?
106
00:05:49,204 --> 00:05:51,037
Because we've
got a sheriff
107
00:05:51,072 --> 00:05:52,923
that uses scientific
deduction.
108
00:05:52,958 --> 00:05:54,541
I wish i'd thought of that.
109
00:05:54,576 --> 00:05:56,426
You know, if you don't know
a fella's name,
110
00:05:56,461 --> 00:05:58,295
you just look at his wagon.
111
00:05:58,330 --> 00:05:59,930
Well, now, that's really
no great shake
112
00:05:59,965 --> 00:06:01,181
of a deduction, lapham,
113
00:06:01,216 --> 00:06:03,049
but it does point up the fact
114
00:06:03,084 --> 00:06:04,935
you can't stop thinking
on this job.
115
00:06:04,970 --> 00:06:07,437
It's really kind of a think,
think, think proposition.
116
00:06:07,472 --> 00:06:10,557
Now some men depend on this
all the time
117
00:06:10,592 --> 00:06:13,059
when they should be using
the old... the old bean.
118
00:06:13,693 --> 00:06:15,695
By golly,
nobody could be righter.
119
00:06:15,730 --> 00:06:17,948
And when you use the head
instead of the gun,
120
00:06:17,983 --> 00:06:22,319
you save money on bullets
and burials and labor.
121
00:06:22,354 --> 00:06:25,455
Now he said what to you, jensen?
122
00:06:25,490 --> 00:06:27,958
Oh, he said he could
bring back the dead.
123
00:06:27,993 --> 00:06:30,076
Well, that's what he
said his line was-
124
00:06:30,111 --> 00:06:31,328
"bringing back the dead."
125
00:06:31,363 --> 00:06:33,830
Tell you, i almost
keeled back in my tracks.
126
00:06:33,865 --> 00:06:35,715
Bring back the
dead, i'm thinking.
127
00:06:35,750 --> 00:06:37,584
Well, he's
either a lunatic
128
00:06:37,619 --> 00:06:38,835
or he's trying
to gull me.
129
00:06:39,469 --> 00:06:41,471
That's when i ran
over to your office
130
00:06:41,506 --> 00:06:42,088
and got you, sheriff.
131
00:06:42,722 --> 00:06:44,591
Yeah, and when we come back,
he done and left town.
132
00:06:44,626 --> 00:06:47,093
He probably figured
you'd gone after the sheriff
133
00:06:47,128 --> 00:06:48,345
and decided to get out of town.
134
00:06:48,380 --> 00:06:50,597
By golly, that's good reasoning,
sheriff.
135
00:06:50,632 --> 00:06:52,482
That's just what he done.
136
00:06:52,517 --> 00:06:54,985
He's obviously some sort
of a con man.
137
00:06:55,020 --> 00:06:57,487
And when he saw jensen here
leave the saloon,
138
00:06:57,522 --> 00:06:59,356
he knew he was going
for the lawman.
139
00:06:59,990 --> 00:07:01,992
So, uh, he felt
he was in trouble,
140
00:07:02,027 --> 00:07:03,860
and he got out of town.
141
00:07:03,895 --> 00:07:06,997
Now that's a very fine
piece of deduction.
142
00:07:07,032 --> 00:07:11,368
Except hows come
he left his wagon?
143
00:07:11,403 --> 00:07:14,504
Gooberman, you're a very
embarrassing man to have around.
144
00:07:14,539 --> 00:07:16,756
Why do you want to ask a
question like that for?
145
00:07:16,791 --> 00:07:18,758
"Hows come he left his wagon?"
146
00:07:18,793 --> 00:07:20,627
"Hows come
he left his wagon?"
147
00:07:20,662 --> 00:07:23,763
How come he did leave his wagon?
148
00:07:23,798 --> 00:07:25,131
Sheriff?
149
00:07:25,166 --> 00:07:26,132
Way i figure it,
150
00:07:26,167 --> 00:07:28,018
he probably didn't get
out of town after all.
151
00:07:28,053 --> 00:07:29,269
The way i figure it,
152
00:07:29,886 --> 00:07:31,771
he probably checked into
the hotel or something.
153
00:07:31,806 --> 00:07:34,024
By golly, sheriff,
you're exactly right.
154
00:07:34,059 --> 00:07:35,275
That's just what he done.
155
00:07:35,310 --> 00:07:37,143
You've got a job here
for the rest of your life
156
00:07:37,178 --> 00:07:39,029
if i've got anything
to do with it.
157
00:07:39,064 --> 00:07:40,280
Jensen,
158
00:07:40,315 --> 00:07:42,399
give the sheriff
a drink on me.
159
00:07:42,434 --> 00:07:44,901
You're a real sport, lapham.
160
00:07:44,936 --> 00:07:46,786
That's real kind of you, lapham,
real kind of you.
161
00:07:46,821 --> 00:07:49,289
Real kind of you.
162
00:07:54,794 --> 00:07:57,664
Here's to lapham.
163
00:07:57,699 --> 00:07:58,915
Sheriff.
164
00:08:10,176 --> 00:08:12,679
You're, uh...
you're mr. Garrity?
165
00:08:12,714 --> 00:08:14,431
That's my family name.
166
00:08:14,466 --> 00:08:17,317
Is that your
wagon outside?
167
00:08:17,934 --> 00:08:19,185
Yep, that's
my wagon.
168
00:08:19,220 --> 00:08:21,071
Says garrity
on it?
169
00:08:21,106 --> 00:08:22,322
That's my
family name.
170
00:08:22,357 --> 00:08:24,190
Well, mr. Jensen
here says
171
00:08:24,225 --> 00:08:26,076
that you bring
back the dead.
172
00:08:26,111 --> 00:08:29,195
Now, that's a figure
of speech, ain't it?
173
00:08:29,230 --> 00:08:31,081
You don't actually
bring back the dead.
174
00:08:31,116 --> 00:08:36,703
On the contrary, that's exactly
what i do- bring back the dead.
175
00:08:36,738 --> 00:08:39,706
Well, now, you wouldn't
mind telling us
176
00:08:39,741 --> 00:08:42,208
how you go about
doing this, would you?
177
00:08:42,243 --> 00:08:44,711
Well, now, sheriff,
no offense-
178
00:08:44,746 --> 00:08:45,962
uh, bartender,
please-
179
00:08:45,997 --> 00:08:49,716
but it's kind of like a
professional trade secret
180
00:08:49,751 --> 00:08:51,601
kind of like a magician.
181
00:08:51,636 --> 00:08:54,721
Now, he doesn't tell
how he does his tricks
182
00:08:54,756 --> 00:08:57,857
and i don't tell how i
bring back the dead...
183
00:08:57,892 --> 00:08:59,109
but i do.
184
00:08:59,144 --> 00:09:02,112
The fact is,
i heard about
your town here.
185
00:09:02,147 --> 00:09:05,365
128 dead in boothill
up there.
186
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:06,866
Happiness, arizona,
187
00:09:06,901 --> 00:09:10,620
with the biggest cemetery
west of chicago
188
00:09:10,655 --> 00:09:13,740
and all of them
departing the earth
189
00:09:13,775 --> 00:09:16,242
with unspeakable
violence.
190
00:09:16,277 --> 00:09:18,128
All but one.
191
00:09:18,163 --> 00:09:20,630
And that was my
dear wife, zelda,
192
00:09:20,665 --> 00:09:23,133
rest her soul.
193
00:09:23,168 --> 00:09:28,388
A fine healthy strapping
woman of 247 pounds,
194
00:09:28,423 --> 00:09:32,759
but not unattractive, mind you,
195
00:09:32,794 --> 00:09:35,895
and suddenly
i lost her.
196
00:09:36,262 --> 00:09:39,399
And that's
why i drink-
197
00:09:39,434 --> 00:09:42,519
from a
broken heart.
198
00:09:42,554 --> 00:09:46,906
How much loss
can a man stand?
199
00:10:13,683 --> 00:10:16,803
Killed him, poor little tyke,
ran right under my wagon.
200
00:10:16,838 --> 00:10:18,188
Must have struck him
alongside of the head.
201
00:10:18,223 --> 00:10:21,691
Hasn't got a mark on him,
but he's sure dead.
202
00:10:21,726 --> 00:10:24,310
Well, it's accidental
animal homicide.
203
00:10:24,345 --> 00:10:26,312
Well, that's decent
of you, sheriff.
204
00:10:26,347 --> 00:10:27,564
No fine or nothing?
205
00:10:27,599 --> 00:10:28,198
No fine.
206
00:10:28,815 --> 00:10:30,700
You obviously couldn't help it.
207
00:10:31,067 --> 00:10:33,570
Anybody know who
the dog belongs to?
208
00:10:33,605 --> 00:10:34,821
Stray is what it is.
209
00:10:34,856 --> 00:10:36,706
I never seen
it before.
210
00:10:36,741 --> 00:10:39,075
I'll take him out
and bury him.
211
00:10:39,110 --> 00:10:40,326
Ladies and gentlemen!
212
00:10:40,361 --> 00:10:42,829
The proof of the pudding
is in the eating
213
00:10:42,864 --> 00:10:45,965
and the proof of the service
is in the performing.
214
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,834
Hallelujah!
215
00:10:47,869 --> 00:10:50,970
Now that dog is certainly
dead, is it not?
216
00:10:52,257 --> 00:10:54,724
And gentlemen,
i shall return it
217
00:10:54,759 --> 00:10:56,593
to the land of
the living.
218
00:10:56,628 --> 00:10:58,478
I shall resurrect
that dog.
219
00:10:58,513 --> 00:11:01,598
Now, please, stand
back all of you.
220
00:11:01,633 --> 00:11:03,233
Oh, i want to ask you one thing.
221
00:11:03,268 --> 00:11:05,101
In order that i might
perform the operation
222
00:11:05,136 --> 00:11:06,352
completely and satisfactorily,
223
00:11:06,387 --> 00:11:08,855
would you all turn around so
that you're not watching me.
224
00:11:08,890 --> 00:11:12,242
If you don't
mind, please.
225
00:11:30,795 --> 00:11:32,011
Eureka!
226
00:11:32,629 --> 00:11:33,880
Oh, you good dog.
227
00:11:33,915 --> 00:11:35,265
Oh, you good dog!
228
00:11:35,300 --> 00:11:36,516
There we go.
229
00:11:37,884 --> 00:11:39,769
Look at him go!
230
00:11:44,641 --> 00:11:47,777
My dear friends,
ladies and gentlemen,
231
00:11:47,812 --> 00:11:50,897
citizenry of happiness, arizona,
232
00:11:50,932 --> 00:11:53,399
it is with no small
degree of pleasure
233
00:11:53,434 --> 00:11:55,285
that i stand here
234
00:11:55,320 --> 00:11:58,404
on this quaint
picturesque main street
235
00:11:58,439 --> 00:12:01,541
performing what i
might modestly claim
236
00:12:01,576 --> 00:12:04,043
as an accomplishment
of some dimension.
237
00:12:04,078 --> 00:12:05,295
As you have all seen,
238
00:12:05,912 --> 00:12:08,414
i have just brought
a dog back to life.
239
00:12:08,449 --> 00:12:09,799
It's devil's work!
240
00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:11,417
Black magic is what it is.
241
00:12:11,452 --> 00:12:14,554
It is not black magic
and not devil's work.
242
00:12:14,589 --> 00:12:17,674
It is the application
of scientific principles
243
00:12:17,709 --> 00:12:20,176
which i have picked up
over the years
244
00:12:20,211 --> 00:12:23,930
while traveling exclusively
in the himalayan mountains.
245
00:12:26,432 --> 00:12:29,569
What i did for that dog i can do
for your loved ones-
246
00:12:29,604 --> 00:12:32,071
may their souls rest in peace-
momentarily.
247
00:12:32,106 --> 00:12:36,442
You mean, you can bring
back my zelda?
248
00:12:36,477 --> 00:12:38,945
And my former partner?
249
00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:40,947
And my late husband?
250
00:12:40,982 --> 00:12:45,335
Tonight, dear friends,
tonight at midnight,
251
00:12:45,370 --> 00:12:49,706
happiness will reign
in happiness, arizona.
252
00:12:49,741 --> 00:12:52,842
The dead will be returned
to you.
253
00:13:15,721 --> 00:13:17,589
H-he's still up
at the cemetery.
254
00:13:17,624 --> 00:13:20,092
He's been there four hours now.
255
00:13:20,127 --> 00:13:21,977
That place freezes my
insides at high noon
256
00:13:22,012 --> 00:13:23,228
with the sun
shining down.
257
00:13:23,263 --> 00:13:25,097
Imagine how it
is after dark.
258
00:13:25,132 --> 00:13:26,982
I don't like
the proceedings.
259
00:13:27,017 --> 00:13:28,851
I believe when you're dead,
you're dead.
260
00:13:28,886 --> 00:13:31,987
Imagine my
little blossom,
261
00:13:32,022 --> 00:13:35,741
my own zelda.
262
00:13:35,776 --> 00:13:40,746
All those lonely days
and lonely weeks
263
00:13:40,781 --> 00:13:47,002
and tonight at midnight,
she comes back to me.
264
00:13:51,874 --> 00:13:53,759
Good evening,
gentlemen.
265
00:13:55,010 --> 00:13:58,130
Good evening
to you all.
266
00:14:00,015 --> 00:14:01,884
Whiskey, please.
267
00:14:04,386 --> 00:14:07,523
You know, the cosmic impulses
tonight are incredible.
268
00:14:07,558 --> 00:14:09,391
Absolutely incredible!
269
00:14:09,426 --> 00:14:11,276
I have just been up on boothill.
270
00:14:11,311 --> 00:14:13,145
All finished
up there now?
271
00:14:13,180 --> 00:14:14,396
All finished.
272
00:14:14,431 --> 00:14:16,888
Now they'll all come filing
down any moment now.
273
00:14:17,585 --> 00:14:19,435
Ahead of schedule, too.
274
00:14:19,470 --> 00:14:22,555
I hadn't gone five minutes
into the ceremony
275
00:14:22,590 --> 00:14:25,057
before the earth
started to heave.
276
00:14:25,092 --> 00:14:26,442
Some mighty anxious folks
up there.
277
00:14:26,477 --> 00:14:27,693
Mighty anxious.
278
00:14:27,728 --> 00:14:31,447
Ah, but it'd do your heart good
to see them wiggling around
279
00:14:31,482 --> 00:14:33,950
under the sod,
just like some happy colts
280
00:14:33,985 --> 00:14:35,818
raring to face life again.
281
00:14:41,324 --> 00:14:43,209
That's your beloved brother,
282
00:14:43,244 --> 00:14:44,076
isn't it,
mr. Jensen?
283
00:14:44,710 --> 00:14:47,213
Uh, john, he was killed
by accident last march.
284
00:14:47,248 --> 00:14:50,967
We had a gunfight in here and
he got hit by a stray bullet.
285
00:14:51,002 --> 00:14:52,835
The same size
and shape as you
286
00:14:52,870 --> 00:14:55,972
with a kind of a limp?
287
00:14:59,225 --> 00:15:00,476
Uh...
288
00:15:00,511 --> 00:15:02,979
how did you know?
289
00:15:03,014 --> 00:15:05,598
Your brother was the last man
buried, mr. Jensen,
290
00:15:05,633 --> 00:15:08,734
and the last buried
are the first ones
291
00:15:08,769 --> 00:15:10,603
who'll be coming back down.
292
00:15:10,638 --> 00:15:12,605
Coming back down?
293
00:15:14,490 --> 00:15:17,610
Ha! I believe
that's him coming now.
294
00:15:34,010 --> 00:15:36,512
Mr. Jensen...
295
00:15:36,547 --> 00:15:39,015
it's your own
beloved brother john
296
00:15:39,050 --> 00:15:41,517
and a more decent,
honorable citizen
297
00:15:41,552 --> 00:15:44,637
never pulled a cork
from a bottle,
so i'm told.
298
00:15:44,672 --> 00:15:47,773
Mr. Garrity, he was a
lowdown thieving skunk.
299
00:15:47,808 --> 00:15:50,893
He spent more time tapping
the till and stealing whiskey
300
00:15:50,928 --> 00:15:53,396
than he did
waiting on customers.
301
00:15:53,431 --> 00:15:54,280
You dishonor the man.
302
00:15:54,897 --> 00:15:57,400
And here he returns to you
from the grave.
303
00:15:57,435 --> 00:15:59,902
And after that unfortunate,
accidental bullet
304
00:15:59,937 --> 00:16:02,405
that caught him
between the shoulder blades.
305
00:16:02,905 --> 00:16:04,790
Mr. Garrity.
306
00:16:06,042 --> 00:16:07,293
What do you charge
307
00:16:07,328 --> 00:16:09,161
to bring back
these dead people?
308
00:16:09,196 --> 00:16:12,298
Room and board, but my
major source of income
309
00:16:12,333 --> 00:16:14,166
is the pleasure
i derive
310
00:16:14,201 --> 00:16:16,052
bringing happiness
to my fellow man.
311
00:16:16,087 --> 00:16:18,554
Well, how would you
like to increase
312
00:16:18,589 --> 00:16:19,805
that source of income?
313
00:16:20,423 --> 00:16:22,308
You'll have to speak
a bit plainer.
314
00:16:22,343 --> 00:16:24,810
What would it take to
put my brother back?
315
00:16:24,845 --> 00:16:27,313
No, that would be a
difficult procedure.
316
00:16:27,348 --> 00:16:28,564
You see, mr. Jensen,
317
00:16:28,599 --> 00:16:31,067
after the resurrection
has taken place
318
00:16:31,102 --> 00:16:32,935
it requires
a maximum effort
319
00:16:32,970 --> 00:16:34,820
to make them die
all over again.
320
00:16:34,855 --> 00:16:39,825
Well, would $100
help the effort?
321
00:16:39,860 --> 00:16:42,328
Shall we say $1,000?
322
00:16:42,363 --> 00:16:45,448
Well, what does
500 do for you?
323
00:16:45,483 --> 00:16:49,201
It warms me a little
but i still feel drafty.
324
00:16:49,236 --> 00:16:52,955
Let's settle for,
uh... 750, shall we?
325
00:16:52,990 --> 00:16:54,840
It's a deal.
326
00:17:12,608 --> 00:17:13,859
He disappeared!
327
00:17:13,894 --> 00:17:17,613
He just plain
disappeared!
328
00:17:17,648 --> 00:17:20,366
He came walking
towards us
329
00:17:20,401 --> 00:17:21,867
and i would
have bet money
330
00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,736
it was your
brother john.
331
00:17:23,771 --> 00:17:25,621
And he was walking
towards us
332
00:17:25,656 --> 00:17:27,490
and then he plumb
disappeared!
333
00:17:27,525 --> 00:17:28,741
That's life.
334
00:17:28,776 --> 00:17:30,626
But now don't
fret, friends.
335
00:17:30,661 --> 00:17:32,495
He'll be followed
by all the others.
336
00:17:32,530 --> 00:17:35,631
All the
others?
337
00:17:35,666 --> 00:17:37,133
Including your beloved wife.
338
00:17:37,168 --> 00:17:39,001
Your lonely hours are over.
339
00:17:39,036 --> 00:17:42,138
Your zelda will soon
be back with you
340
00:17:42,173 --> 00:17:44,640
to bring back
your peace of mind.
341
00:17:44,675 --> 00:17:47,143
No disrespect, uh...
342
00:17:47,178 --> 00:17:54,016
what i mean is that zelda was
the flower of all womanhood
343
00:17:54,051 --> 00:17:57,153
but on six different occasions
344
00:17:57,188 --> 00:18:04,026
she broke my left arm and
this poor thing was in a cast
345
00:18:04,061 --> 00:18:08,414
so many times that
i developed a list.
346
00:18:08,449 --> 00:18:11,534
Your point, mr. Gooberman.
347
00:18:11,569 --> 00:18:15,921
Oh, i would hate to
disturb zelda's rest
348
00:18:15,956 --> 00:18:20,926
so how much would it
cost to put her back?
349
00:18:20,961 --> 00:18:25,297
Oh, that's a difficult
assignment, mr. Gooberman.
350
00:18:25,931 --> 00:18:27,183
Uh...
351
00:18:27,218 --> 00:18:28,434
$500.
352
00:18:28,469 --> 00:18:30,302
For me it was $750!
353
00:18:32,339 --> 00:18:32,938
I'm
ashamed.
354
00:18:32,973 --> 00:18:34,807
I'm truly
ashamed.
355
00:18:34,842 --> 00:18:36,692
Your own
dear brother.
356
00:18:36,727 --> 00:18:39,812
And you, gooberman,
your dear wife.
357
00:18:40,062 --> 00:18:43,816
As a public official of this
town, i apologize for these men.
358
00:18:43,851 --> 00:18:45,701
I am humiliated.
359
00:18:45,736 --> 00:18:47,570
Nothing less than humiliated!
360
00:18:48,070 --> 00:18:49,955
I don't blame you
a bit, sheriff.
361
00:18:49,990 --> 00:18:52,458
And i could perceive immediately
362
00:18:52,493 --> 00:18:54,960
that you're made of
sterner stuff.
363
00:18:54,995 --> 00:18:56,829
You're not quaking
in your boots
364
00:18:56,864 --> 00:18:58,714
because lightning
peterson
365
00:18:58,749 --> 00:19:02,468
will be one of the departed
returning this night.
366
00:19:02,503 --> 00:19:03,719
Lightning
peterson!
367
00:19:03,754 --> 00:19:05,588
You killed
him yourself,
368
00:19:05,623 --> 00:19:06,839
didn't you,
sheriff?
369
00:19:06,874 --> 00:19:08,090
He was the
fastest gun
370
00:19:08,125 --> 00:19:09,341
in the
territory.
371
00:19:09,376 --> 00:19:10,593
Balderdash.
372
00:19:10,628 --> 00:19:11,844
I say balderdash!
373
00:19:11,879 --> 00:19:13,729
"Lightning" peterson.
374
00:19:13,764 --> 00:19:16,849
You killed him once, sheriff,
in an honest showdown
375
00:19:17,099 --> 00:19:18,984
and if he hasn't
learned from that
376
00:19:19,019 --> 00:19:20,853
well, you can do it again.
377
00:19:23,355 --> 00:19:24,607
Something, sheriff?
378
00:19:24,642 --> 00:19:27,109
You're going to resurrect
that gunman?
379
00:19:27,144 --> 00:19:29,612
Well, it was a
mass operation.
380
00:19:29,647 --> 00:19:31,497
As a matter of fact, sheriff,
381
00:19:31,532 --> 00:19:34,617
it will give you
a marvelous opportunity
382
00:19:34,652 --> 00:19:37,119
to dispel those
ugly rumors i heard
383
00:19:37,154 --> 00:19:40,256
that you actually shot
peterson in the back...
384
00:19:40,873 --> 00:19:42,758
late at night...
385
00:19:42,793 --> 00:19:44,627
when he was alone and unarmed
386
00:19:44,662 --> 00:19:48,380
and you had six deputies
alongside of you.
387
00:19:48,415 --> 00:19:49,632
Seven.
388
00:19:49,667 --> 00:19:52,768
Now, i know that you faced up
to him in broad daylight
389
00:19:52,803 --> 00:19:56,522
but this will give you an
opportunity to shoot him down,
390
00:19:56,557 --> 00:19:57,773
if need be, face-to-face.
391
00:19:57,808 --> 00:20:00,893
Well, now, the fact
is, mr. Garrity,
392
00:20:00,928 --> 00:20:04,647
i don't think that peterson
should be resurrected.
393
00:20:05,648 --> 00:20:06,899
Actually...
394
00:20:06,934 --> 00:20:09,785
he's a menace to society.
395
00:20:09,820 --> 00:20:11,654
The fact is,
sheriff...
396
00:20:14,156 --> 00:20:16,041
...he's already
on his way down.
397
00:20:16,076 --> 00:20:18,544
I don't mind
facing up to him
398
00:20:18,579 --> 00:20:21,046
but why go to all
that trouble?
399
00:20:21,081 --> 00:20:22,915
Uh...
400
00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:24,800
would, uh,
you think $500
401
00:20:24,835 --> 00:20:26,669
would keep him
back up there?
402
00:20:26,704 --> 00:20:27,920
Lightning peterson?
403
00:20:27,955 --> 00:20:30,422
You do him an
injustice, sheriff.
404
00:20:30,457 --> 00:20:32,925
He was quite a lad
with the gun
405
00:20:32,960 --> 00:20:34,810
and mighty
active at that.
406
00:20:34,845 --> 00:20:37,313
No, no, no, this will
be a $1,200 job.
407
00:20:37,348 --> 00:20:38,564
Sold.
408
00:20:38,599 --> 00:20:41,066
Jensen,
a whole bottle please.
409
00:20:41,101 --> 00:20:42,935
Happen to see a scrawny
little man out there,
410
00:20:42,970 --> 00:20:44,820
kinda gimlet-eyed.
411
00:20:44,855 --> 00:20:46,071
His name?
412
00:20:46,106 --> 00:20:47,323
Perkins. Ephraim perkins.
413
00:20:47,358 --> 00:20:49,825
Relative?
Ex-husband.
414
00:20:49,860 --> 00:20:52,328
And no tighter man
ever squeezed a silver dollar.
415
00:20:52,363 --> 00:20:54,196
And the thing of it is,
i'm married again.
416
00:20:54,231 --> 00:20:55,447
And if the truth be known,
417
00:20:56,081 --> 00:20:58,584
i never did care for ephraim
while he was living
418
00:20:58,619 --> 00:21:01,086
and i don't see why i should
go through it all again.
419
00:21:01,121 --> 00:21:03,589
What would i do
with two husbands?
420
00:21:03,624 --> 00:21:04,840
A hundred dollars?
421
00:21:04,875 --> 00:21:06,091
Five, madam.
422
00:21:06,126 --> 00:21:09,211
Five?
Mm.
423
00:21:14,216 --> 00:21:15,467
My father-in-law...
424
00:21:15,502 --> 00:21:17,353
my father-in-law's
a big man,
425
00:21:17,388 --> 00:21:19,855
asked to be buried
with a bullwhip.
426
00:21:19,890 --> 00:21:21,106
There's just no reason
why he should...
427
00:21:21,141 --> 00:21:22,358
no, no, no.
428
00:21:22,393 --> 00:21:25,477
Oh, thank you,
thank you.
429
00:21:26,979 --> 00:21:29,365
My wife looked
very pretty
430
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,616
when she was buried.
431
00:21:30,651 --> 00:21:33,118
Couldn't we keep
her that way?
432
00:21:33,153 --> 00:21:35,621
Five.
433
00:21:35,656 --> 00:21:38,741
The rest of you just
put your names here.
434
00:21:38,776 --> 00:21:39,992
The amount's $500.
435
00:21:40,027 --> 00:21:41,243
Thank you.
436
00:21:41,278 --> 00:21:43,746
Five.
437
00:21:52,004 --> 00:21:53,889
Whoa.
438
00:21:58,894 --> 00:22:00,262
Come on, boy!
439
00:22:00,297 --> 00:22:02,147
Come on, spot, come on!
440
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:05,267
Come on, spot, come here!
441
00:22:06,553 --> 00:22:08,404
Oh, you nice, nice puppy.
442
00:22:08,439 --> 00:22:10,272
Oh, you're a nice dog.
443
00:22:10,307 --> 00:22:12,775
I got a big bone
in the wagon for you.
444
00:22:12,810 --> 00:22:14,660
Your reward for playing dead.
445
00:22:14,695 --> 00:22:15,277
You're late!
446
00:22:15,312 --> 00:22:17,162
Oh, ace,
i couldn't help it.
447
00:22:17,197 --> 00:22:19,531
This town is the ripest pear
we ever plucked.
448
00:22:19,566 --> 00:22:21,417
They couldn't
get rid of their
moneybags fast enough.
449
00:22:21,452 --> 00:22:22,668
What was the take?
450
00:22:22,703 --> 00:22:27,039
Considerably more than you
earned on the stage, dear boy.
451
00:22:27,074 --> 00:22:29,174
Played my part uncommonly well.
452
00:22:29,209 --> 00:22:30,175
Uncommonly.
453
00:22:30,210 --> 00:22:32,678
I've been checking over
the itinerary.
454
00:22:32,713 --> 00:22:33,929
Our next stop is tucson.
455
00:22:33,964 --> 00:22:35,798
We'll get a good night's sleep,
456
00:22:35,833 --> 00:22:39,551
you go in there in the morning,
get a line on the place.
457
00:22:39,586 --> 00:22:41,186
We'll see which
of the dear departed
458
00:22:41,221 --> 00:22:43,055
you can imitate
tomorrow night.
459
00:22:48,310 --> 00:22:49,561
Real sorry, friends,
460
00:22:49,596 --> 00:22:52,448
that i couldn't perform
what i laid claim to,
461
00:22:53,065 --> 00:22:56,952
so rest in peace, all of you.
462
00:22:58,821 --> 00:23:01,323
Let's go.
463
00:23:01,358 --> 00:23:04,460
Old spot, now
come on over here.
464
00:23:04,495 --> 00:23:05,711
There you go.
465
00:23:05,746 --> 00:23:06,962
You sit here.
466
00:23:43,248 --> 00:23:46,368
The man don't do
himself justice.
467
00:23:46,403 --> 00:23:50,756
The actor that played you
wasn't worth a darn.
468
00:23:50,791 --> 00:23:52,624
But that there garrity
469
00:23:52,659 --> 00:23:55,761
sure can do a job
of resurrecting.
470
00:23:55,796 --> 00:23:58,881
I can't wait to get
back into town.
471
00:23:58,916 --> 00:24:02,634
I've got a lot of drinking
to catch up with.
472
00:24:02,669 --> 00:24:04,520
There's a yellow skunk
of a sheriff
473
00:24:04,555 --> 00:24:06,388
i aim to settle
a score with, too.
474
00:24:06,423 --> 00:24:08,273
And there's a little pipsqueak
475
00:24:08,308 --> 00:24:10,776
of a sot just waiting
to get his arm broke
476
00:24:10,811 --> 00:24:13,278
and i'm just the gal
that can do it
477
00:24:13,313 --> 00:24:15,147
or my name
ain't zelda gooberman.
478
00:24:15,182 --> 00:24:18,033
Exit mr. Garrity,
a would-be charlatan,
479
00:24:18,068 --> 00:24:19,902
a make-believe con man
480
00:24:19,937 --> 00:24:22,404
and a sad misjudger
of his own talents.
481
00:24:22,439 --> 00:24:25,541
Respectfully submitted
from an empty cemetery
482
00:24:25,576 --> 00:24:28,043
on a dark hillside
483
00:24:28,078 --> 00:24:31,797
that is one of the slopes
leading to the twilight zone.
34331
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