Original subtitles

Carl.

We need to talk.

What is it?

I saw you on the street today.

You could've said hi.

Are you nuts?

I didn't wanna be seen with you. I was ashamed.

What do you mean?

You were standing in front of a women's clothing store.

Why be ashamed? It wasn't for me.

No, but you were holding your girlfriend's purse.

Yeah, but...

I was just helping her out. I held it for two minutes tops.

Eight.

-Eight minutes. -You timed it?

Eight minutes is like eight hours

for a father, when his son looks like a complete moron.

You're overreacting.

Men shouldn't do these things.

I just held her purse.

I'm afraid it's indicative of your relationship.

You're too soft. She's the dominant one.

In every relationship, the man should be like a Doberman.

Not a poodle.

I'll get it. Grandma?

Grandma?

What a wonderful surprise.

Hi, Carl.

Hi, Carol.

Hi, Claude.

Carol, go get my bags in the taxi. Hurry up.

You should've told us. We could've had time to prepare.

Aren't you happy?

Mom...

I'm so glad to see you.

I can't live without you.

You should be used to it by now.

I haven't seen you in over two years.

You show up and turn everything upside down.

Dad is still fragile.

You won't even know I'm here. Okay?

You'll sleep in my room.

We set up the inflatable mattress.

Well, at my age, an inflatable mattress...

You can take my bed and I'll sleep on the mattress.

-Alright. Where do I put this? -In Carl's room.

You just said we rarely see each other.

Where will I sleep?

In Jaimie's room.

What about me?

In Jonathan's room.

I don't wanna sleep on this old stinking couch.

Do you love Grandma?

It's a small sacrifice to make for my comfort.

I'm not asking for much.

Go on. Bring these upstairs.

She's so wonderful.

And I've been living on a boat since June.

Me, too.

-A really big one. -Mine is pretty average.

In Florida.

Florida?

You didn't tell him?

Well, it's still a delicate matter.

What do you mean? I can take it.

Of course not, Carol.

You always had a soft, little heart dripping with sentimentality.

You know, when we would have dinner together,

it felt like being interviewed by Oprah.

Do you remember? I called you my little sissy.

When you were alone?

No, at parties or with friends.

It used to make everybody laugh, right, Carol?

True or not?

True.

Anyway, things are serious with Bernard.

Is that your boyfriend?

Yes.

And thanks to him, we'll see each other often.

He's really rich.

He'll buy you plane tickets anytime you like.

We'll go to Disney World?

Well, yeah.

On your birthday, for Christmas, and even spring break, if you like.

You look really happy, Mom.

I am.

-It's beautiful. -That's amazing news.

It's one of the reasons I'm here. We've put it off for 20 years.

We have to sign the divorce papers.

What a strange relationship.

She wanted him to change and when he did,

she didn't like it, so she left.

You're not talking?

Her name is Charlène.

I'm telling you, this girl, she's the one.

Meaning?

Meaning, yes, sir, man.

-For real? -Oh, yeah.

I'm telling you.

-I'm in love with her. -It's not just a crush?

No, when I'm with her, I think about her.

Usually, you think about other girls?

Of course not. I think about myself.

In that case, it might be real.

-Do you have similar values? -Lots.

Honor, heroism.

Brazilian waxing.

She loves travelling and she's really

into learning new languages and communicating with the locals.

And you do that?

Totally. When I leave a resort,

I say adiós to the cleaning ladies and I toss them a peso.

You should be a UNICEF ambassador.

Oh, my goodness. You're really serious.

I am. I am.

I figured, why wait to start the next chapter of my life

when I know it will be total bliss?

Oh. I'm sorry.

I lost track of time.

It has to get done.

Yeah.

Let me put this away.

I'll just make some room. We'll set up over here.

What are you doing?

We can sign divorce papers and still have a good time.

Let's have one last dinner together.

It's a trap, isn't it?

Not at all. It's totally spontaneous.

No.

I didn't plan anything, come on now.

Carol Hébert.

One last dance?

One last drink?

What a waste of good wine.

No, I meant the papers.

Oh, yeah, right. You'll have to get them redone by the attorney.

I'm really sorry.

Hey, Christian. When are you planning on proposing?

She's coming next Saturday.

So... if Guy agrees, I'll propose in the ring.

Right after beating up Carl.

No problem, Chris.

I'm all for cheesy stuff, as long as I sell tickets.

My mom's in town.

It sounds like a special occasion.

She was in Florida for two years. She'll see me wrestle for the first time.

About Saturday's fight...

What about it?

Can we change the script to make me win?

This Saturday?

Yes, just to make me look good.

What's wrong?

But it's my wedding proposal.

But it's my mom.

But a proposal happens only once in a couple's life.

She's important to me. In two years, she'll still be my mom.

Your girl will probably be your ex.

-You piece of-- -Hey, knock it off, boys.

Let's settle this calmly.

Can't you postpone?

No, I already put a deposit on the reception and there are no refunds.

-What about you? -She's leaving soon.

Christian could win with an illegal hold.

He would get the official win, but Carl would get a moral victory.

No way. I can't win illegally. I'm a gentleman. I'm a good guy.

Come on, Christian.

I'm in love and you're trying to take it away from me.

We'll figure it out.

-I think he's faking it. -Good. You're back.

How come I hardly ever see you?

You should ask yourself. I'm in your head. You decide when you see me.

But I need you.

Less than before. You've accepted the fact that I'm gone.

You've learned to be a father and a mother to your kids.

You have a girlfriend.

-And... you don't mind? -I can't. I'm dead.

You felt guilty towards me.

Maybe this is it.

Maybe you're done mourning.

Not enough rum.

Pick it up, Carol.

Too much rum.

I rented a movie.

Is it an action movie?

No, it's a beautiful, romantic one.

Well, take it back. I feel like watching an action movie.

I changed my mind. I'll have a margarita.

I need to talk to you.

What is it?

Well... you know...

at some point...

you have to move on.

You have to accept your loss.

You won't get Mom back.

I think I might have a chance.

Dad.

Wouldn't you like that?

Every kid whose parents are separated

dreams about them getting back together.

Not me.

You're different with her. You're like her poodle.

Her poodle? You're exaggerating.

A lab or a collie, maybe. But surely not a poodle.

I love Mom.

But she's got you by the balls so tight, it drains out all your testosterone.

Are you ready to accept that we're alike?

I don't think so.

Carl, listen to the script we came up with to avoid any quibble.

You'll fight against Christian

up until that moment when the face always seems

like he's about to lose, but he gets a second wind and fights back.

When you're out cold, he'll take this opportunity to propose.

You'll be unable to resume the fight, and you know why?

No, I don't.

You'll be knocked out by the power of love.

I told you I didn't wanna lose in front of my mom.

You won't win, but neither will Christian. The winner will be love.

Who thought of that? An eight-year-old boy?

-It was my idea. -Sorry, I meant a four-year-old.

Look, Carl, we did our best.

You think of something, if you're not happy.

Go, Carl!

He's so good. He's so handsome. He's so big and strong.

Of course. He takes after...

you.

I'd like to take advantage

of my opponent's momentary incapacity tonight.

A few moons ago,

I met an exceptional woman.

And she's here with us tonight.

I love you.

And tonight...

in the ring where I've fought all my battles,

I'd like to ask you...

Would you marry me?

Yes.

Yes, I would, but...

I can't, I'm already married.

What? To whom?

Well, to Tony.

Say hi, Tony.

We're a very open couple.

Yeah. I can see that.

Poor thing.

Don't watch, it's upsetting you. You're too sensitive.

I'm feeling emotional.

You know, when that happens, I need affection.

And warmth.

Come on, Carol, you idiot. Take me in your arms.

Go get my bags in the taxi.

We have to sign the divorce papers.

Pick it up, Carol.

Take it back. I feel like watching an action movie.

I love Mom.

But she's got you by the balls so tight, it drains out all your testosterone.

Goddamn it, Claude. Get a grip.

Make me a mojito.

Go get me a beer.

Don't put too much rum.

Don't forget the glass.

Okay. Are you provoking me?

I'm not the one showing up unannounced to play with your feelings.

What is this, a rebellion?

I should've done that a long time ago.

You didn't use to complain.

I was scared you'd leave me.

Don't you get it?

So now, if I feel like complaining,

I will, because I'm not scared anymore.

Obviously. I already left.

I never liked your shepherd's pie.

It was my mother's recipe.

I never liked her either!

Okay. It's clear. You're provoking me!

I'll tell you another thing.

From the Fall of 1979

to the Spring of 1981, when I said I worked late on Tuesday nights,

I lied. I was playing poker.

You're like all the others!

I am. Absolutely.

I put up with your goddamn, dull, romantic movies,

hoping it would get you in the mood and maybe,

you'd take off your panties.

Anything else?

A lot! Let me tell you one thing that will piss you off even more!

Go ahead!

You know that great singer? The one you think is so talented.

Don't you dare badmouth her.

Watch me!

Be very careful about what you're going to say.

Be very careful!

Did you want a glass with your beer?

Yeah.

I never thought I would tell my father how to be a man.

It's normal for you to show him.

You have experience after all you went through.

Maybe.

You've become a man.

And a great one at that.

A strong man.

I'm proud of you.

I think I can go, now.

So long, my love.

Yeah. Her name is Chloé.

What about her husband?

She's not married. I made sure of it.

Don't rush into things this time.

Yeah, but you know, I'm a passionate man.

But I know there won't be any bad surprises. That's for sure.

Hi, kitty cat.

I want you to meet Guy and Eddie.

-Nice to meet you. -So...

You're ready?

We haven't had sex yet. Tonight's the night.

Should we tell him?

No.

I wanna laugh about it tomorrow.

DIVORCE AGREEMENT

Alright.

This is the moment of truth.

Hello? What?

Yes.

Okay.

It's for you, Grandma.

Hello? What?

When?

It can't be.

Oh, my God.

I'll get on a plane.

It's Bernard.

He made a cheese fondue, even though it was 90 degrees outside.

He drank Southern Comfort and had a heart attack.

I have to go.

Maybe I shouldn't sign these right away.