All language subtitles for Hogans Heroes - .03x17. - Two Nazis for the Price of One

Naturally, Major Hochstetter,
I'm not trying to tell

the Gestapo how
to run their business.

I should think not.

I was merely suggesting
that if you'd told me

what you wanted
from Colonel Hogan,

I might have
saved you the trip.

That is ridiculous.

That is exactly right, and I
don't even know why I said it.

This is not the
job for an amateur.

Gruppenfuhrer Freitag
himself personally

has ordered me
to question Hogan.

He is waiting
for my report.

Gruppenfuhrer Freitag?

Oh, that's top,
top level Gestapo. I...

( knocking )

Come in!

You wanted to see me, Colonel?

I'm sorry. I didn't
know you had company.

The Gestapo
is not company.

Frankly, I never
thought much of
them myself.

Hogan, you will show a little
respect for Major Hochstetter!

Just a little, sir?

I mean a lot of respect!

And please,
don't twist my words.

I will take over, Klink.

Colonel, I will stand
for no nonsense.

I want some
information from you.

Gosh, you mean
there's something

the Gestapo
doesn't know?

What we don't know,
we have ways of finding out--

ways that are not
always... pleasant.

Don't make trouble
for yourself. Talk.

Klink, will you
stay out of this?

Colonel, sit down, please.

Tell me, Colonel,
what do you know

about the
Manhattan Project?

What is it?

Maybe they're selling

the island back
to the Indians?

The 504th Bomb
Group was assigned

to the Manhattan
Project, is that right?

Were they?

You should know.

You commanded
the 504th Bomb Group.

Did I?

They have been taken
out of combat

and sent back
to the States

for special training,
correct?

How 'bout that!

Those are not answers.
You better...

HOCHSTETTER:
Klink!

Colonel,
may I remind you

that the Gestapo
can be very unfriendly?

Very unfriendly.

You know, I've
heard that,

and I've often wondered,
what's a nice guy like you

doing in an
outfit like that?

Of course, we could give you
the time to think it over

in a special cell we have.

It's not big enough
to stand up in,

and it is not big
enough to lie down in.

Sounds like a hotel room
I once had in Cleveland.

During the days, the temperature

is 140 degrees, and at night,
it is below freezing.

That's the hotel, all right.

Then, if you still won't talk,

you will be starved,
tortured and then shot.

Well, Colonel,
what you say, hmm?

What can I say?

You've made me homesick
for Cleveland.

All right, Colonel,

that will be all.

For now!

I certainly enjoy
these impromptu chats.

We should do it more often.

I must make my report
to Gruppenfuhrer Freitag.

What are you going
to report?

That being nice
didn't work.

( radio pulsing )
Kill that transmission.

Shut down right now.

What's the matter?

The Nazis have a spy
at Allied headquarters.

I don't want this
radio used till we
find out who he is.

How do you know
there is a spy, Colonel?

I was just visiting
with the Gestapo.

They know I was with
the 504th Bomb Group

and that they've
been transferred
back to the States.

So they know.
What good does that do them?

The only place they
could have found that out

is headquarters
in London.

Well, if there's a spy,

shouldn't we tell
them about it?

How? Send it
on the radio?

We might be telling
it to the spy himself.

That'd be a waste of time.
He already knows.

There's got to be another
way to tip them off.

Have you got the schedule
of the courier planes

between Washington
and London?

Yeah, right here.

Good.

General Butler left
Washington this morning.

Must be halfway across
the Atlantic right now.

Can we reach him
with our radio?

No, that's
out of our range.

We'd need
a bigger antenna.

Can you make one?

I guess so.

All right.
Good. Go ahead.

It's a good thing
you found out
about that spy.

Do you think
Hochstetter knows

about us, sir?

I don't think so.

He's got something else
on his mind,

something called
the Manhattan Project,

whatever that is.

( laughs )

In a way, it's kind of
funny-- about the spy.

He's in the same kind
of business as we are.

We may be
in the same business,

but we're not working
for the same company.

Can't be
any smaller,

not if we're
going to reach

General
Butler's plane.

And it has to go
on top of the flagpole?

That's the only place.

It'll be noticed
right away.

Nobody could miss that.

Of course not.

They'll notice it,
all right...

( sighs )

...but there's a way
so they won't pay attention.

That looks
absolutely great.

What a
sneaky idea.

( radio pulsing )

General Butler says
he's received the message,

and do you have any idea
who the spy is?

Tell him no and ask
him what time exactly

he expects to be
at headquarters.

Right.

( radio pulsing )

Two hours
and 15 minutes.

All right.

Tell him to
get everybody,

including off-
duty personnel,
on their jobs.

In exactly three hours,

we're going to send a
message to headquarters.

All right.

Whoever tries to
leave will be the spy.

What message are
you going to send?

And what makes
you so sure

the spy's going to try
to get out?

Put yourself in
the spy's place.

A message comes
that a bomb's

been planted on
Hitler's private train.

The bomb is going
off in an hour.

Wouldn't you
break your neck

to get a warning out?

I'm glad you're
on our side, Colonel.

Radio message from
headquarters, Colonel.

Bulls-eye;
on target.

The trick worked.
We got the spy.

( laughing and cheering )

Fabulous!
We're back
in business!

Achtung!
The commandant is coming.

( conversation
continues )

Achtung!
The commandant
is coming!

( conversation
continues )

( whispers ):
Colonel Hogan, please.

All right,
hold it down, fellas.

Now, everybody seems
to be very happy.

What's the occasion, eh?

Some good news from home.

We haven't had any
mail for two weeks.

A delayed reaction.

Colonel Hogan, I'd like
to have a word with you.

Hogan, I admire the
position you're taking

with the Gestapo.

That's very manly,
very soldierly.

Thank you.

Naturally, they're
going to make you talk,

and when they do, you
don't want to talk

to a man like Major
Hochstetter, do you?

He's not our type.

Well, who is?

I am.

So don't talk to
them; talk to me.

Of course.

Why should we let credit
go to strangers?

It's agreed, then?
You'll only talk to me?

If I talk,
it's only to you.

( relieved chuckle )

Schultz!

"Spy talked.

Said he was working for
Gruppenfuhrer Freitag."

That's the clown that sent
Hochstetter to question me.

"Freitag knows
all about us--

the tunnel
and the radio."

Boy.
( sighs )

"End the operation here.

"Arrange with
the Underground

to get back to
London at once."

Hey, London!
We're gonna...
London!

( excited conversation )

Can you believe that?
We're going to...

If Freitag knows
about us...

why weren't
we arrested?

Who cares?

Let's get
out of here
while we can!

Yeah, before they blow
the whistle on us.

Hold it, hold it!

I don't think
Freitag's worried about us.

He's after something
more important.

Kinch, ask London
what "Manhattan Project" is.

Right.

You know what
I'm going to do

first thing
we get out?
What?

I'm gonna take
you all 'round
the Red Lion.

What's the Red Lion?

It's a pub.
Oh, yeah?

We'll have
a beer...

Fabulous.
Do they have
hot dogs?

They have sausages
in Eng...

( radio pulsing )

"Do not, repeat,
do not mention that project

"in any communication.

Classified Top Secret."

They seemed
a bit upset.

Manhattan Project...

I wonder how much
Freitag knows...

It might upset them even more.

Here we are, gentlemen.

Last chance--
a "going out of business" sale.

A perfect watch,

perfect working order.

Shock-proof,
everything.

No offers?

You sell it to yourself.

You know, I've been
figuring out:

I've got an awful lot
of back pay coming.

I'm going be very rich.

I know a French girl
who's living in London.

She used to be
with the Follies Bergere.

I'm going to take her
to the best restaurant

and spend the evening just
looking at her and the food.

I'm going to get into a hot bath
and stay there for a week.

Hah-hah!

I'm going to go
to Regent Park Zoo

and watch somebody else
in a cage.

What's happening?

We're just
shining up

the old place
a bit, Shultz.

For the next bunch.

What next bunch?

Well, we heard
a rumor, Shultz,

we're going to be moved
to a new barracks.

Yeah, that's right.

Why do you
listen to rumors?

If you were
going anyplace,

the commandant
would tell me.

Maybe
you'll tell him.

You're throwing
all this away?

Yeah. Who needs it?

SCHULTZ:
Ooh. This is foolish
to throw all this away.

This is real wool.

It's all yours,
Schultzy.

Thank you.
Look at this! Ah! Ooh!

Dr. Livingstone,
I presume.

No, it's me--
Sergeant Shultz.

Oh, for goodness
sakes. So it is.

Herr Kommandant
wants to see you

in his office,
but don't worry.

He is in
a very good mood.

That's the time
to worry.

Tell him I'll
be right there.

I'll come back
for the rest later.

Don't forget
to set the time
charges in the tunnel

and on the
radio equipment.

All taken
care of, sir.

Okay. I'll see
what Klink wants.

( knock at door )

Colonel Hogan,
what do you think
of this hat, eh?

Well, it covers your head.

I don't know what else
you can expect of it.

Guess who's here in town?

General Eisenhower?

Oh, please. Don't
be ridiculous.

I'm not. He's going
to be here sooner or later.

Gruppenfuhrer Freitag.

And he's invited us
to dinner-- you and me.

It's a social invitation.

Dinner. Sounds
like a great honor.

It's the greatest.

Don't you realize how
important this man is?

He has the Fuhrer's ear.

It sounds
kind of messy to me.

Oh, please don't make
those kind of jokes

about Gruppenfuhrer Freitag.

He doesn't have
my sense of humor.

Now, if he takes
a liking to me,

there's no telling
how far I'll go.

Naturally, I'd like
to see you go far.

Thank you, Hogan.

We're all
ready, Colonel.

The underground will meet us
at the tunnel entrance

right at the dot.

I can't go.
Something's come up.

I've got to check
and see whether

Gruppenfuhrer Freitag
really knows

what the Manhattan
Project is.

But we were
ordered to leave.

Yeah, sir.
It was an order.

I know. Look, I know
how you guys feel.

You go as scheduled.
I'll come later.

But, Colonel,
once they find out we're gone,

you'll never get away.

You'll be a dead duck.

Look, don't worry about me.

I'll make it somehow.

You go as planned.

I think I'll stay.

I'm getting used
to cold showers.

A hot bath might
give me pneumonia.

Me, too. I mean,
I'll have more
back pay coming.

You know, at
the end of the war.

CARTER:
Well, I may
as well stay.

I don't want to see
animals in a cage.

I hope you don't think

I'm going to a big city
like London all by myself.

What about that
French bird you
told me about?

The ones in
the Folies Bergere.

I haven't seen her
for ten years.

She must be
a grandmother by now.

Look, you guys are free to go.

You're all here as volunteers
in the first place.

We're staying.

It's settled.

Business at the old
stand as usual, sir.
Right.

Okay. Thanks.

Hey, Schultz has our stuff.

Hey! Schultz! Hey!

Ilse.

Well?

You look very
well, Ilse.

Thank you, Herman.

You think the American colonel
will like me?

If he doesn't,

everything I've
heard about the
Americans is a lie.

Now, Ilse,
remember,

I want you to be
especially nice

to Colonel Hogan.

You know what I mean?

I know.

Is there anything
I can do to be of help?

Yes, Mannheim,
you can help

by keeping your
nose out of this.

From what I've heard
of Colonel Hogan,

he would make a
monkey out of you
in two minutes.

I'm your assistant.

If you would only tell me
why he is coming here,

I might surprise you
by thinking of something.

If you ever thought
of anything,

it would surprise me.

What I want from
this Colonel Hogan

is some special
information.

And your rubber hoses

and medieval tortures won't
get it-- not from this man.

You seem well-informed
about him.

You might say I
have a special
interest in him.

He's a remarkable man.

Intelligent and
resourceful...

( knock on door )

Gruppenfuhrer Freitag,
I cannot tell you

what an honor it is
to have the opportunity

to be talking...
Colonel Hogan,
I've heard so much

about you, I feel I've known you
for a long time.

How would you have
heard about me?

I haven't really
done anything.

Your modesty does you credit.

But, sometimes,
the best-kept
secrets leak out.

Know what I mean?

I suppose you're talking
about the bombing mission I flew

against your secret
submarine base at Bremen.

Oh, was that you?

( chuckling )

Yeah, we lost eight
submarines in that raid.

I believe it was nine,
but who's counting?

( laughs ):
That reminds me

of a marvelously funny story
about a sailor

who hadn't seen
his wife for...

Actually, I'm an admirer
of what you have been

doing more recently.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Colonel Hogan,
this is Ilse Praeger.

Uh, Deputy
Gruppenfuhrer
Mannheim...?

What is your name?

Uh, Klink, sir.

Wilhelm Klink.

Yes.

Mannheim, why
don't you see

if my uniforms are
back from the tailor?

And take Colonel
Kink with you.

Klink.

Whatever you say.

Let me get you a drink,
hmm? Sit.

I suppose you don't see
many girls at the prison camp.

The percentage
is pretty low.

But you must think
about them a lot.

Well, you see, we
have this program

of sports and
pure thoughts.

Getting
acquainted, I see.

That's nice.

I can't get over
how friendly everybody is.

Speaking
of friends,

I have a friend
in London.

I haven't heard from
him for a few days.

I wonder if anything could have
happened to him.

Who knows?

London isn't the safest place
in the world these days,

thanks to you.

Neither is Berlin,
thanks to you.

You're welcome.
Colonel Hogan,

let me make my position clear.

I am a loyal German,

but the Gestapo
and the High Command

don't always see eye-to-eye.

So, if I knew of anyone
who was making a fool of them--

someone who's operating
a secret radio,

let us say,

in, uh, a secret
tunnel, perhaps--

I wouldn't feel obliged
to turn that man in.

Do you follow me?

Sure.

You don't like the brass.

Ah, I see you understand.

All I ask in return

for my silence
is some information.

About what?

I want to know
about the Manhattan Project.

You're not supposed
to know about that.

It's the biggest secret
of the war.

Yeah, but you see, I do know.

Suppose you tell me
all you know.

Nothing.

I know nothing about it.

I don't want to talk about it.

I better see when dinner

will be ready.

You have such wonderful,
sensitive hands.

Do you play the violin?

No. Harmonica.

Such a strong face.

It shows a great deal
of character.

You know, I've never
had much confidence

in that program of
sports and pure thoughts.

Something wrong?

I'm sorry. I don't want
to bother you with my troubles.

Okay.

It's him-- Freitag.

I hate him.

He's mean.

I can't stand him.

Well, these will
help you to bear up.

They're not from him.

They belonged to my mother.

Mom got around
a little.

Oh, Colonel Hogan,

I want to prove to you
I'm on your side.

Yeah, I can
see for myself.

The information
Freitag wants--

he'll do anything
to get it.

And you can make him
pay for it.

Money?

Now you're talking
my language.

Dinner will be
in a few minutes.

Now, let me see.

Where were we
before I left?

No place.

But I did pretty good
after you left.

Really, if you men
are going to
talk business,

I will go powder my nose.

Now about this
Manhattan Project--

it's a bomb,
isn't it?

What's different
about it?

How close are they
to finishing it?

( sighs )

Hogan, I'm going
to be frank with you.

You've heard the expression
"Every man has his price"?

I'd say there's a price

for everything a man has
or knows.

I like the way you think.

Keep talking.

Tell me what I want to know,
and I'll see

you are safely escorted
to the Swiss border.

Also, there will be $50,000
in American money

deposited in your name
in a Swiss bank.

Well?

Very generous.

But you're forgetting
there are four men back in camp

who have been working with me.

Not gonna get much chance
to enjoy that money

after the war
when they talk

and my government puts
two and two together.

We'll dispose of them.

That's the most efficient
way, I suppose,

but I'm sentimental.

I'd like to keep
them with me.

Very well, they will be taken
with you to the Swiss border.

However,

I don't want to share
the $50,000 with them.

Still, they should
get something.

Hmm.

( laughs ):
Hogan, it's a pleasure
doing business with you.

You're dishonest enough
to make me trust you implicitly.

And I trust you.

But I don't know if I
can trust your partners.

No partners.
I work alone.

That way, I never have
to share the credit.

Good. Now, what
about the men?

They'll be expecting
something.

There will be $1,000
for each of them.

$500 will be
enough for them.

All right.
Now, tell me exact...

Not so fast.

Let me talk to the men first--
make sure they'll go along.

When will you know?

Tonight,
if I go back now.

Very well.

I'll see you
at the prison camp later.

Mannheim!

( laughing ):
Colonel Mannheim was just
telling me

that every year the
weather seems to be...

Take him back to camp.
What about dinner?

What dinner?
But you
invited us.

Forget it.

I'll see you later.

That's all!

What did you
say to him?

Me? Nothing at all.

Gruppenfuhrer Freitag,

I must register
a protest.

This is all
very improper.

I'm your second
in command,

and I don't know
what's going on.

That's the way I want it.

Mannheim, why do you think
I picked you for this job?

Have you any idea?

Because I was the best
man you could find.

Not at all.

It's because I don't trust
bright, ambitious people.

You have to watch them
all the time.

But let me warn you,
Mannheim.

There are limits

to how much stupidity
I will put up with.

What's the good
of staying?

You couldn't
tell Freitag

about the
Manhattan Project

even if
you wanted to.

You don't even know
what it is.

Well, whatever
it is, Freitag
knows too much.

I'm going to see that
he never learns
more about it.

Well, you
don't mean that
you're gonna...

Tonight, when he
comes to camp.

Suppose somebody
else has that
information?

No. Freitag's
a loner.

He's the only one
that knows about

the project
and the tunnel.

He's got to be
liquidated.

Colonel Hogan!

You'll never guess

in a million years
what's happening.

Not in a million years.

Gruppenfuhrer Freitag's car
is coming through the gate,

and Klink sent you to get me.

Yeah. How do you know?

When you said I'd never guess
in a million years,

what else could
it be, Schultz?

( sighs )

Gruppenfuhrer Freitag,

it is indeed a great honor
to have you...

Mannheim,
park the car.

Don't you want me
to help you interview
Colonel Hogan?

You'd better do what
you're best at.

I believe you were
a parking attendant

in Munich
before the war.

Uh, would you like to
come into my office?

Yes.

But you stay out.

Sir, out of my own office?

Major Hochstetter,
send a radio message

to Berlin and arrange
a meeting with Himmler.

Say I will have
some very important
information for him.

Yes, sir.

He can't do this
to me-- keep me out
of my own office.

He can't?

Well, I mean,
he shouldn't.

Of course he can.
Aah!

Colonel Hogan,
go right in.

Gruppenfuhrer Freitag
is waiting.

Hogan, when you're
in there talking to him,

could you say
a good word for me?

I know he likes you,
and if you...

( two gunshots )

SCHULTZ:
Somebody's shooting outside.

Somebody's
shooting inside.

( whimpers )

What happened?
I heard shots.

Get a doctor, quick.

He's still alive?

But that's impossible.

Anyone's aim would
be a little off

shooting through a window.

And you were a little excited,
you know.

I'll finish him now!

He treated me
like a dog!

What's going on here?

Why don't you get a doctor?

Never mind
the doctor.

Freitag's deader
than a doornail.

But you said...
Forget it,
duck for cover.

MANNHEIM:
You lied!
( shouts )

You lied!

( glass breaking )

Schultz, go out
there and get him.

That's an order.

I can't, Herr Kommandant.

I lost my rifle.

( thudding )

HOGAN:
I've been counting

the shots.
His gun is empty.

Are you sure?
Positive.

I'll capture him,
Herr Kommandant.

Never mind, Schultz.

I'll do it myself.

Mannheim, you're
under arrest.

You've run out
of bullets.

You're helpless.

( gunshot )
Oh!

Hogan!

I've always been terrible
at arithmetic.

What was all the shooting?

Your man Mannheim
shot your man Freitag.

Take him.

Oh, here it is!

I found my rifle.

I knew it was someplace.

Congratulations
on your courage

in capturing
Mannheim, sir.

What are you talking about?

All I did was to...

That's right.

It was me.

I did capture him.

Oh, Major Hochstetter,
when you make out your report

to Berlin, be sure
and tell them that
I was the one...

Well?

No. Mannheim got Freitag.

Looks like we
got two for
the price of one.

And we have
our tunnel back.

All to ourselves.

To say nothing
of the Manhattan Project

still being a secret,
whatever it is.

"(End of Episode)"