Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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00:00:37,658 --> 00:00:38,825
Ow!
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00:00:38,876 --> 00:00:40,977
There's a rock right there!
3
00:00:41,043 --> 00:00:42,767
There's a huge rock right there,
4
00:00:42,768 --> 00:00:44,135
and it's covered up by grass
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00:00:44,203 --> 00:00:45,487
and there's no way
you can see it.
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00:00:45,555 --> 00:00:48,270
And I got lucky. But someone
else could hurt themselves,
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00:00:48,341 --> 00:00:51,927
and, and a small cut is a, is a
death sentence in these times,
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00:00:51,994 --> 00:00:53,929
so let's just, you know,
let's...
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00:00:54,196 --> 00:00:56,531
let's get these rocks out
of here.
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00:00:58,458 --> 00:01:02,458
* Family Guy 10x12 *
Livin' on a Prayer
Original Air Date on January 29, 2012
11
00:01:02,483 --> 00:01:06,483
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
12
00:01:16,302 --> 00:01:19,170
# There's a fuzzy bunny
rabbit on the train #
13
00:01:19,238 --> 00:01:21,706
# There's a fuzzy bunny rabbit
on the train #
14
00:01:21,774 --> 00:01:24,242
# And he's wiggling his nose
and his little bunny ts #
15
00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:26,995
# There's a fuzzy bunny rabbit
on the train. #
16
00:01:27,063 --> 00:01:29,097
Okay, what else we got
on that train?
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00:01:29,165 --> 00:01:30,782
- A kitty cat.
- A doggy.
18
00:01:30,850 --> 00:01:32,951
Kevin Smith 'cause he's too fat
to ride a plane!
19
00:01:33,019 --> 00:01:34,619
Okay, I heard kitty cat.
20
00:01:34,687 --> 00:01:37,889
# Oh... there's a kitty cat
a-riding on the train #
21
00:01:37,957 --> 00:01:39,324
God, you know,
I don't know why
22
00:01:39,392 --> 00:01:41,126
this guy's wife isn't here
watching this stuff.
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00:01:41,193 --> 00:01:43,161
If I were her,
I'd be here every show.
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00:01:43,229 --> 00:01:45,363
# There's a kitty cat
a-riding on the train. #
25
00:01:45,448 --> 00:01:48,867
Thanks, everybody.
See you next week.
26
00:01:48,951 --> 00:01:50,452
Yay! He's a good singer.
27
00:01:50,519 --> 00:01:52,053
Yeah, I've been catching
his library shows
28
00:01:52,121 --> 00:01:54,189
since there were only, like,
three or four kids here.
29
00:01:54,257 --> 00:01:56,870
You should have been here, man.
Those were the shows.
30
00:01:56,943 --> 00:01:59,227
Oh, looks like
somebody made a friend.
31
00:01:59,295 --> 00:02:01,162
I know.
Aren't they cute together?
32
00:02:01,230 --> 00:02:03,414
Adorable. I'm Lois.
33
00:02:03,499 --> 00:02:04,866
Hi, I'm Hope.
34
00:02:04,934 --> 00:02:07,169
Any relation
to Bob Hope?
35
00:02:07,720 --> 00:02:08,870
I'm kidding!
36
00:02:08,921 --> 00:02:11,520
I'm kind of known for having
a twisted sense of humor.
37
00:02:11,590 --> 00:02:14,700
Oh, don't worry, I watch
Regis and Kelly. I can handle it.
38
00:02:14,777 --> 00:02:16,344
Oh, so, you know.
39
00:02:16,412 --> 00:02:18,045
This is my husband Ben.
40
00:02:18,097 --> 00:02:19,297
Hi, glad to know you.
41
00:02:19,365 --> 00:02:21,132
Gosh, you know,
our little Scotty seems
42
00:02:21,200 --> 00:02:23,585
to be having such a good time
with your son.
43
00:02:23,652 --> 00:02:24,903
Would you be interested
44
00:02:24,970 --> 00:02:26,621
in getting them together
for a playdate?
45
00:02:26,689 --> 00:02:29,290
Oh, that sounds
like a wonderful idea.
46
00:02:29,358 --> 00:02:30,792
Look at them.
They're getting along
47
00:02:30,860 --> 00:02:32,827
like Billy Bob Thornton
and his cat.
48
00:02:33,195 --> 00:02:34,396
Billy Bob?
49
00:02:34,363 --> 00:02:36,264
Leave me alone!
I'm taking a bath!
50
00:02:40,319 --> 00:02:43,350
Stewie, do you want to be
the Autobots or the Decepticons?
51
00:02:43,422 --> 00:02:45,056
What's with all
these labels, man?
52
00:02:45,124 --> 00:02:47,425
Autobots, Decepticons,
gay, straight--
53
00:02:47,493 --> 00:02:49,460
just pick a few robots,
and let's party.
54
00:02:49,545 --> 00:02:50,912
Hey, what's
going on in here?
55
00:02:50,980 --> 00:02:52,864
Oh, hello, Brian.
We're playing Transformers.
56
00:02:52,932 --> 00:02:54,632
Oh, cool.
Who's this little guy?
57
00:02:54,717 --> 00:02:56,351
It's my new friend, Scotty.
58
00:02:56,419 --> 00:02:58,052
- Do you mind? We're busy.
- Oh.
59
00:02:58,120 --> 00:02:59,687
Hi, doggie.
You want to play with us?
60
00:02:59,755 --> 00:03:01,255
Scotty, Scotty, it's fine.
It's fine.
61
00:03:01,323 --> 00:03:03,220
You don't have to.
He doesn't know Transformers.
62
00:03:03,292 --> 00:03:04,692
Yeah, actually,
I-I'd love to play.
63
00:03:04,960 --> 00:03:07,300
Wh-Who should I be?
Should I be one of these guys?
64
00:03:07,396 --> 00:03:09,364
I-I'll be this guy.
Who's this guy, huh?
65
00:03:09,431 --> 00:03:10,498
What's this guy's story?
66
00:03:10,566 --> 00:03:13,450
That's Optimus Prime. You can't be him.
Scotty's Optimus Prime.
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00:03:13,519 --> 00:03:16,520
Oh, all right. Well, I'll be, I'll be
this guy. How about this guy?
68
00:03:17,523 --> 00:03:19,757
What was that?
Did you just growl?
69
00:03:19,825 --> 00:03:22,193
What robot growls?
That's Starscream.
70
00:03:22,261 --> 00:03:25,868
He's a Decepticon. I'm the Decepticons.
Look, why don't you just beat it?
71
00:03:25,931 --> 00:03:29,100
All right, all right, relax. I'll...
I'll just, I'll be this guy over here.
72
00:03:29,168 --> 00:03:31,169
That's He-Man.
We're playing Transformers.
73
00:03:31,237 --> 00:03:33,405
Well, maybe this is the one
where He-Man visits.
74
00:03:33,472 --> 00:03:36,024
Brian, how is He-Man
supposed to get to Cybertron?
75
00:03:36,091 --> 00:03:38,158
Hey, "Up, up,
and away," right?
76
00:03:38,226 --> 00:03:39,326
He-Man doesn't fly.
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00:03:39,494 --> 00:03:42,060
Look, why are you being such a dick
about this? I'm just trying to join in.
78
00:03:42,131 --> 00:03:43,965
Yeah, you don't know what
you're talking about, okay?
79
00:03:44,033 --> 00:03:45,149
You sound like...
That's not fair.
80
00:03:45,217 --> 00:03:46,534
I think I'm doing
pretty well.
81
00:03:46,602 --> 00:03:48,052
No, you don't know
the characters, Brian.
82
00:03:48,120 --> 00:03:49,220
You don't know
the characters.
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00:03:49,288 --> 00:03:50,622
If you could hear
yourself right now,
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00:03:50,689 --> 00:03:51,789
you would not stop
throwing up.
85
00:03:51,857 --> 00:03:53,057
You can't just put He-Man
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00:03:53,125 --> 00:03:54,525
in Transformers'
world, all right?
87
00:03:54,593 --> 00:03:56,494
He wouldn't be able
to get to Cybertron
88
00:03:56,562 --> 00:03:59,064
because he lives in Eternia,
and Eternia is in
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00:03:59,131 --> 00:04:00,632
an entirely
different dimension.
90
00:04:00,699 --> 00:04:02,567
He can just take
his rocket ship.
91
00:04:02,635 --> 00:04:05,536
Get... get out of here.
92
00:04:09,458 --> 00:04:12,560
- We now return to The Post
- "Roe vs. Wade"Brady Bunch.
93
00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:15,063
Greg! Marcia! Get down here!
94
00:04:18,401 --> 00:04:20,652
Oh, you two are such a handful!
95
00:04:27,993 --> 00:04:29,778
Oh, I'm getting
some steam.
96
00:04:29,845 --> 00:04:31,212
Picking up steam
here, Scotty.
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00:04:31,280 --> 00:04:32,397
You'd better look out.
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00:04:32,465 --> 00:04:33,965
I don't feel so well.
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00:04:35,868 --> 00:04:39,170
Uh, kind of bad timing,
but gin.
100
00:04:39,238 --> 00:04:42,657
Hey, Lois, that
not-Stewie kid fell over!
101
00:04:42,708 --> 00:04:44,576
Oh, my God,
he's unconscious!
102
00:04:44,643 --> 00:04:45,810
Peter, what happened?!
103
00:04:45,878 --> 00:04:47,712
Eh, you know me, Lois,
I don't pry.
104
00:04:47,780 --> 00:04:49,414
Peter, he's not moving!
105
00:04:49,482 --> 00:04:51,116
We gotta get him
to the hospital!
106
00:04:51,183 --> 00:04:53,118
You got it, Lois!
To the Peter-rang!
107
00:05:03,896 --> 00:05:04,796
Just for the record,
108
00:05:04,864 --> 00:05:06,731
I was at the hospital
for a brief moment.
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00:05:10,402 --> 00:05:11,903
Mrs. Griffin,
it's a good thing
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00:05:11,970 --> 00:05:13,237
you brought this child in.
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00:05:13,305 --> 00:05:14,605
Why? Is he okay?
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00:05:14,673 --> 00:05:15,907
I'm afraid
he's very sick.
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00:05:15,974 --> 00:05:18,342
In fact, his lab-work
shows he is suffering
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00:05:18,410 --> 00:05:19,944
from Hodgkin's lymphoma.
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00:05:20,100 --> 00:05:23,414
Oh, my God! Are you saying
Scotty has cancer?!
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00:05:23,482 --> 00:05:25,450
I don't know, I didn't
read the whole Wikipedia entry,
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00:05:25,517 --> 00:05:28,253
but the good news is that what
he has is highly treatable
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00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:29,454
with radiation first,
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00:05:29,521 --> 00:05:31,155
and if necessary,
chemotherapy.
120
00:05:36,061 --> 00:05:37,328
Oh, for God's sake.
121
00:05:37,396 --> 00:05:40,000
Look, do you have any idea
how expensive medical school is?
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00:05:40,065 --> 00:05:41,299
No, I don't.
123
00:05:41,367 --> 00:05:43,301
Well, it's probably
pretty expensive.
124
00:05:43,369 --> 00:05:45,587
Lois! We came as soon
as we got your call.
125
00:05:45,654 --> 00:05:47,222
Oh, Hope, Ben,
126
00:05:47,289 --> 00:05:49,824
I'm so sorry to have
to tell you this,
127
00:05:49,892 --> 00:05:51,526
but Scotty has...
128
00:05:51,594 --> 00:05:52,894
Cancer. We know.
129
00:05:52,962 --> 00:05:53,928
You do?
130
00:05:53,996 --> 00:05:55,396
Yes, we're aware
of his condition.
131
00:05:55,464 --> 00:05:57,532
But you shouldn't have
brought him to the hospital
132
00:05:57,600 --> 00:05:59,133
without talking to us first.
133
00:05:59,201 --> 00:06:01,336
Why wouldn't we bring him?
He was unconscious.
134
00:06:01,403 --> 00:06:03,104
He clearly
needed treatment.
135
00:06:03,172 --> 00:06:05,506
Oh, no, he doesn't
receive treatment.
136
00:06:05,574 --> 00:06:06,441
What?!
137
00:06:06,508 --> 00:06:08,610
We're Christian Scientists.
138
00:06:08,677 --> 00:06:10,345
We don't accept medical care
for ourselves,
139
00:06:10,412 --> 00:06:12,113
and we don't permit it
for our children.
140
00:06:12,181 --> 00:06:13,414
But your son
has cancer!
141
00:06:13,482 --> 00:06:14,866
Wait a minute.
Christian Science.
142
00:06:14,934 --> 00:06:16,401
Is that, is that
that thing
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00:06:16,468 --> 00:06:17,869
all them gaybo
Hollywood actors do
144
00:06:17,937 --> 00:06:20,421
to keep their stuff away
from other guys' butts?
145
00:06:20,489 --> 00:06:22,557
Don't you understand?
Scotty needs help.
146
00:06:22,625 --> 00:06:24,359
And he'll get it...
through faith.
147
00:06:24,426 --> 00:06:25,526
That's right.
148
00:06:25,594 --> 00:06:27,862
We will heal him
with the power of prayer.
149
00:06:29,465 --> 00:06:31,616
Y-You can't just let them
just walk out of here!
150
00:06:31,701 --> 00:06:33,451
Oh, I think
they'll be back.
151
00:06:33,519 --> 00:06:35,453
- Are those their keys?
- No, they're my keys.
152
00:06:41,735 --> 00:06:43,336
And they said because
of their faith,
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00:06:43,353 --> 00:06:44,853
they don't believe
in medicine.
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00:06:44,921 --> 00:06:47,356
Mom, I think there's a lot
of religions that do that.
155
00:06:47,424 --> 00:06:50,192
Well, that may be, Meg, but that
poor little baby has cancer,
156
00:06:50,260 --> 00:06:52,461
and they're just gonna take him
home and pray over him?!
157
00:06:52,529 --> 00:06:53,829
Well, that's what they do.
158
00:06:53,897 --> 00:06:56,131
They believe that disease
is just an illusion.
159
00:06:56,199 --> 00:06:58,367
And the only way to fight it
is to make your faith stronger.
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00:06:58,435 --> 00:07:01,236
Illusions?! You want to
talk about illusions?!
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00:07:01,304 --> 00:07:02,838
If you die tomorrow,
162
00:07:02,906 --> 00:07:05,324
you think we're gonna be devastated!
But you know what?!
163
00:07:05,392 --> 00:07:07,359
We're just gonna go out
and buy another dog!
164
00:07:07,427 --> 00:07:09,495
And maybe this dog
will fetch a stick
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00:07:09,562 --> 00:07:11,630
and bring me my slippers
instead of prattling on
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00:07:11,698 --> 00:07:13,666
about the pros and cons
of various religions!
167
00:07:13,733 --> 00:07:15,734
Chris, I think you've had
too much sugar cereal.
168
00:07:15,802 --> 00:07:17,903
I think I haven't had enough!
169
00:07:19,372 --> 00:07:21,807
Peter, I have to go talk
to the Jennings
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00:07:21,874 --> 00:07:24,460
and ask them to reconsider
getting treatment for Scotty.
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00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:26,330
- I'm going with you, Lois.
- Yeah, I'll go, too.
172
00:07:26,397 --> 00:07:28,664
All right, but try
to keep your mouth shut, okay?
173
00:07:28,732 --> 00:07:30,799
You have a habit
of saying the wrong thing.
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00:07:31,801 --> 00:07:33,936
During his 22-year reign,
175
00:07:34,003 --> 00:07:37,039
this French monarch known
as "The Spider King" had
176
00:07:37,107 --> 00:07:40,342
an ongoing feud with Charles
the Bold, Duke of Burgundy.
177
00:07:40,410 --> 00:07:41,243
Peter?
178
00:07:41,311 --> 00:07:42,945
Who was King Louis XII?
179
00:07:43,012 --> 00:07:46,882
Ooh, I'm sorry, Peter, we were
looking for King Louis XI.
180
00:07:47,150 --> 00:07:49,451
Ah, damn it, I knew that!
181
00:07:49,519 --> 00:07:51,219
Ah, well ***
me in the ***
182
00:07:51,287 --> 00:07:52,955
with a big, black ***
183
00:07:53,022 --> 00:07:55,057
King Louis XI.
184
00:07:55,124 --> 00:07:56,291
Tim, select.
185
00:08:01,464 --> 00:08:04,266
Oh, Lois, Peter,
come on in.
186
00:08:04,333 --> 00:08:06,435
We were just praying
for Scotty's recovery.
187
00:08:06,502 --> 00:08:08,203
If you'd like,
you can join us.
188
00:08:08,271 --> 00:08:10,389
Well, that's what we wanted
to talk to you about.
189
00:08:10,473 --> 00:08:12,507
You'd better not just have
church toys.
190
00:08:12,575 --> 00:08:15,293
Look, I don't mean to question
your religious beliefs,
191
00:08:15,361 --> 00:08:17,362
but as a mother,
I just can't bear the thought
192
00:08:17,430 --> 00:08:20,032
of little Scotty
not getting the help he needs.
193
00:08:20,099 --> 00:08:21,733
You really needn't worry, Lois.
194
00:08:21,801 --> 00:08:23,368
Scotty will get all
the help he needs.
195
00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,403
From where?
196
00:08:24,470 --> 00:08:26,021
From here.
197
00:08:26,089 --> 00:08:28,090
Science and Health with Key
to the Scriptures
198
00:08:28,157 --> 00:08:29,925
by Mary Baker Eddy?
199
00:08:29,993 --> 00:08:31,059
Let me see that.
200
00:08:33,029 --> 00:08:35,998
This is your god?! A woman?!
201
00:08:36,065 --> 00:08:38,033
Well, she's the founder
of our faith.
202
00:08:38,101 --> 00:08:40,702
Oh, really? So with this book
from the 1800s,
203
00:08:40,770 --> 00:08:43,739
you can pray away paralysis
or terminal illness?
204
00:08:43,806 --> 00:08:45,907
Yes, we would pray for
anyone who's afflicted.
205
00:08:45,975 --> 00:08:48,510
Well, then I'll tell you who you
should really be praying for.
206
00:08:48,578 --> 00:08:49,544
Out-of-work clowns.
207
00:09:00,156 --> 00:09:01,757
I need 40.
208
00:09:06,929 --> 00:09:08,563
Ben, Hope, please,
209
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:11,500
I just want to do anything
I can to help your son.
210
00:09:11,567 --> 00:09:13,935
Well, you can, Lois.
Stay and pray with us.
211
00:09:14,003 --> 00:09:15,771
I think you'll find
that with God's love
212
00:09:15,838 --> 00:09:17,305
and a true belief,
213
00:09:17,373 --> 00:09:19,341
all manner of miracles
are possible.
214
00:09:19,409 --> 00:09:21,476
Look, I'm a churchgoer, too,
215
00:09:21,544 --> 00:09:23,979
but sometimes prayer
isn't enough.
216
00:09:24,047 --> 00:09:25,414
He needs professional
medical care.
217
00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,382
You know, Lois, this couch
would be perfect
218
00:09:27,450 --> 00:09:29,418
for one of your red wine
pass-outs.
219
00:09:29,485 --> 00:09:32,920
Look, we appreciate your concern,
Lois, but Scotty is our son,
220
00:09:32,988 --> 00:09:35,057
and we have to tend
to him as we see fit.
221
00:09:35,124 --> 00:09:38,060
But your son is sick!
He needs help!
222
00:09:38,127 --> 00:09:40,062
Um, does your god also not
believe in
223
00:09:40,129 --> 00:09:41,379
putting out snacks
for the guests?
224
00:09:41,447 --> 00:09:44,000
Come on, Lois. I think
we're wasting our time here.
225
00:09:44,100 --> 00:09:46,151
They're obviously very committed
to their beliefs.
226
00:09:46,235 --> 00:09:47,936
But their beliefs
are crazy, Brian.
227
00:09:48,004 --> 00:09:49,938
I don't know
who's crazier--
228
00:09:50,006 --> 00:09:51,957
these people or those
Seventh-Day Adventists.
229
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:53,091
I'm a Methodist.
230
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,860
We believe that
the Lord is our Savior,
231
00:09:54,927 --> 00:09:58,830
and we remember Him by going to church
and praising Him every Sunday.
232
00:09:58,898 --> 00:10:00,165
I'm a Seventh-Day
Adventist.
233
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:01,967
We believe all the same
things that you believe,
234
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,835
but we go to church
on Saturdays.
235
00:10:03,903 --> 00:10:05,837
What...?!
236
00:10:07,390 --> 00:10:09,091
Ga-ga-ga-ga-gahh!
237
00:10:09,142 --> 00:10:10,142
Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!
238
00:10:10,226 --> 00:10:12,160
Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
Hoo-hoo! Hoo-hoo!
239
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:16,448
I know it's
frustrating, Lois,
240
00:10:16,516 --> 00:10:18,584
but the fact is,
there are no laws that say
241
00:10:18,651 --> 00:10:21,019
those people have to take
their child to the doctor.
242
00:10:21,087 --> 00:10:22,521
How can that be?
243
00:10:22,589 --> 00:10:25,157
Children are citizens, too.
They should have rights.
244
00:10:25,224 --> 00:10:27,559
Well, it's
a tricky area, Lois.
245
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,962
You could file a suit,
but that could take months,
246
00:10:30,029 --> 00:10:31,597
and even then,
there's no guarantee
247
00:10:31,664 --> 00:10:33,298
the court wouldn't support
the parents' right
248
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,666
to practice their religion.
249
00:10:34,734 --> 00:10:36,802
How could we live in
a country that would allow
250
00:10:36,869 --> 00:10:38,337
a sick child to die?
251
00:10:38,404 --> 00:10:41,023
Look, this country was founded
by people who came here
252
00:10:41,090 --> 00:10:42,557
to escape
religious persecution.
253
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,993
They made sure we all had
a right to religious freedom,
254
00:10:45,061 --> 00:10:47,095
and it's my job
to protect that.
255
00:10:47,163 --> 00:10:48,764
So there's nothing
we can do?
256
00:10:49,331 --> 00:10:52,534
You could contribute
to the Policeman's Ball.
257
00:10:52,602 --> 00:10:53,584
What?!
258
00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,589
What does that have
to do with a sick child?
259
00:10:55,638 --> 00:10:57,139
Look, it's
a nice night out,
260
00:10:57,206 --> 00:10:58,573
you're eating
at a fancy buffet,
261
00:10:58,641 --> 00:11:00,442
the captain does
his Al Pacino...
262
00:11:00,510 --> 00:11:02,811
Joe, we're really more
of a Fireman's Ball family.
263
00:11:02,879 --> 00:11:05,647
Oh, yeah? Are the firemen gonna
come and put out the rape?!
264
00:11:07,266 --> 00:11:08,934
Peter, we can't
let this happen.
265
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:10,535
I-I mean, we're parents.
266
00:11:10,603 --> 00:11:12,404
What if this was
one of our kids?
267
00:11:12,472 --> 00:11:13,956
It's too bad we're
not the A-Team.
268
00:11:14,023 --> 00:11:16,124
'cause then we could just go
in there and steal that kid.
269
00:11:16,192 --> 00:11:17,859
I don't know
about that, Peter.
270
00:11:17,927 --> 00:11:19,411
Kidnapping is
against the law.
271
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:21,246
It's too bad we're
not Taken from Taken.
272
00:11:21,314 --> 00:11:23,315
Then I could dip my
head in brown paint
273
00:11:23,383 --> 00:11:25,450
and galumph around Europe
looking for my hot daughter.
274
00:11:25,518 --> 00:11:27,469
Although is it any worse
than what they're doing?
275
00:11:27,537 --> 00:11:29,104
They're letting a kid die.
276
00:11:29,172 --> 00:11:30,405
It's too bad we're
not Dragonheart.
277
00:11:30,473 --> 00:11:32,173
Then we could just fly
around on a dragon
278
00:11:32,225 --> 00:11:33,125
and forget
about all this.
279
00:11:33,192 --> 00:11:34,326
You know what?
280
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,827
That's exactly
what we should do.
281
00:11:35,895 --> 00:11:37,929
What? What the hell are
you talking about?
282
00:11:37,997 --> 00:11:39,798
I'm talking about
us going in there
283
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:41,900
and taking that kid
and getting him some help.
284
00:11:41,968 --> 00:11:43,435
I mean, I know it's wrong,
285
00:11:43,503 --> 00:11:45,087
but it's better than
just letting him die.
286
00:11:45,154 --> 00:11:46,521
Hey, that's not
a bad idea.
287
00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:48,123
It's like we're doing
a public service.
288
00:11:48,191 --> 00:11:50,492
Like those idiots who get
together to paint a school.
289
00:11:50,560 --> 00:11:53,195
This underachieving,
crime-ridden school
290
00:11:53,262 --> 00:11:55,097
is now fawn beige,
291
00:11:55,164 --> 00:11:58,050
thanks to guilty white people
with no weekend plans!
292
00:11:58,117 --> 00:11:59,951
Yay!
293
00:12:04,557 --> 00:12:07,140
Peter, what the hell?
Where's your ski mask?
294
00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:08,777
It's kind of hard to
breathe in those things,
295
00:12:08,845 --> 00:12:10,145
so I just dressed up
like Harry Potter.
296
00:12:11,214 --> 00:12:12,381
All right, let's go.
297
00:12:12,448 --> 00:12:14,383
Lois, if anything
should happen to us,
298
00:12:14,450 --> 00:12:17,619
I want you to know, I haven't
been happy for a long time.
299
00:12:17,687 --> 00:12:20,288
Yes, Peter, you've
told me that, like, ten times.
300
00:12:24,761 --> 00:12:26,461
All right,
all the lights are out.
301
00:12:26,529 --> 00:12:27,529
They must be asleep.
302
00:12:27,597 --> 00:12:29,698
It's go time.
303
00:12:32,719 --> 00:12:34,152
Peter, what the
hell was that?
304
00:12:34,220 --> 00:12:35,520
That's what you do, Lois.
305
00:12:35,588 --> 00:12:37,039
Okay, now,
take this walkie-talkie
306
00:12:37,106 --> 00:12:39,007
and confirm that I'm at
the various checkpoints.
307
00:12:39,075 --> 00:12:40,809
Oh. Okay.
308
00:12:40,877 --> 00:12:43,445
"Peter up on a telephone pole"?
309
00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:44,613
Check.
310
00:12:44,680 --> 00:12:46,982
"Peter cutting the wires
to the alarm"?
311
00:12:47,050 --> 00:12:47,916
Check.
312
00:12:47,984 --> 00:12:49,251
"Sexy Peter
313
00:12:49,318 --> 00:12:50,819
distracting the guards"?
314
00:12:50,887 --> 00:12:52,354
Check.
315
00:12:52,421 --> 00:12:54,289
Hello, boys.
316
00:12:54,357 --> 00:12:56,608
Come up and have sex
with me some time.
317
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:59,411
"Van full of Peters
who all have stern faces
318
00:12:59,479 --> 00:13:01,346
because they're about
to pull off a heist"?
319
00:13:01,914 --> 00:13:02,981
Check.
320
00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:06,168
"Upside-down Peter who isn't
revealed to be upside-down
321
00:13:06,235 --> 00:13:08,670
until the camera spins around
and shows that he is"?
322
00:13:09,839 --> 00:13:11,256
Check.
323
00:13:11,324 --> 00:13:13,658
"Peter in an open airplane door
324
00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:16,628
slapping other Peters on the
back as they parachute out"?
325
00:13:16,712 --> 00:13:19,114
Go, go, go, go, go,
go, go, go, go, go!
326
00:13:19,665 --> 00:13:20,115
Check!
327
00:13:20,183 --> 00:13:22,217
"Super gymnastic Asian Peter
328
00:13:22,285 --> 00:13:25,053
contorted into a box that will
be delivered into the house"?
329
00:13:26,289 --> 00:13:27,589
Hai!
330
00:13:27,657 --> 00:13:29,224
"Peter who hasn't answered
331
00:13:29,292 --> 00:13:31,293
because something has gone
terribly wrong"?
332
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,028
Peter? Peter, are you there?
333
00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,883
Now, let's go get that kid.
334
00:13:37,950 --> 00:13:39,985
Okay, he's in the
left upstairs bedroom.
335
00:13:40,052 --> 00:13:42,354
All right, you keep the car
going in case there's trouble.
336
00:13:47,626 --> 00:13:49,377
All right,
I got him, Lois.
337
00:13:49,445 --> 00:13:52,700
Peter, what the--
that's not Scotty! That's Ben!
338
00:13:52,782 --> 00:13:55,217
Oh. Well, you know, we ain't
known this family that long.
339
00:13:55,284 --> 00:13:56,818
I'm still learning
everybody's names.
340
00:13:56,886 --> 00:13:59,387
Damn it, put him back and
go get Scotty, the baby!
341
00:13:59,455 --> 00:14:02,124
Okay, so I'll go get the baby,
and while I'm doing that,
342
00:14:02,191 --> 00:14:04,826
maybe you do something
about that snatchy tone.
343
00:14:07,947 --> 00:14:09,381
Lois, is this the right one?!
344
00:14:09,448 --> 00:14:10,615
Shh! Peter!
345
00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,883
Yes. Now, come on.
346
00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:15,954
What was that?
347
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,800
I don't know. It came
from Scotty's room.
348
00:14:21,394 --> 00:14:23,061
All right, we did it!
349
00:14:23,146 --> 00:14:25,230
Yes! We got the kid
and the treasure.
350
00:14:25,314 --> 00:14:26,448
Peter, there's
no treasure.
351
00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:30,468
Oh, well, never mind, then.
352
00:14:38,179 --> 00:14:39,782
We now return to One-Hour
353
00:14:39,807 --> 00:14:41,315
Crime Show Where the Murderer
354
00:14:41,316 --> 00:14:43,216
is the Most Famous Person
in the Credits.
355
00:14:43,284 --> 00:14:44,918
I think you're gonna want
to take a look at this.
356
00:14:44,986 --> 00:14:46,186
What do we got?
357
00:14:46,254 --> 00:14:47,754
Looks like somebody
had a rough night out.
358
00:14:47,822 --> 00:14:49,172
Boy, you can
say that again.
359
00:14:49,223 --> 00:14:50,524
Better get the
coroner down here.
360
00:14:50,591 --> 00:14:52,259
He's still got his watch
and his wallet.
361
00:14:52,343 --> 00:14:53,627
Guess that rules out robbery.
362
00:14:53,695 --> 00:14:55,562
Stabbed 17 times
in the chest;
363
00:14:55,630 --> 00:14:58,215
I'd say the murderer knew
the victim intimately.
364
00:15:01,452 --> 00:15:03,854
Good evening, I'm Tom Tucker
with some breaking news.
365
00:15:03,921 --> 00:15:06,323
A local kidnapping
has rocked Quahog tonight.
366
00:15:06,391 --> 00:15:08,058
"Rocked Quahog"? Really?
367
00:15:08,126 --> 00:15:09,426
The whole town is r--
368
00:15:09,494 --> 00:15:11,161
The family maybe... is rocked.
369
00:15:11,228 --> 00:15:12,729
But the whole--
All right, well, in any event,
370
00:15:12,797 --> 00:15:15,465
we now go live to Asian reporter
Tricia Takanawa.
371
00:15:15,533 --> 00:15:18,234
Let's see how much
she's "rocked" by all this.
372
00:15:18,302 --> 00:15:18,969
Tricia?
373
00:15:19,037 --> 00:15:22,205
Tom, I'm standing here
with Mayor Adam West,
374
00:15:22,273 --> 00:15:24,474
with the latest information
about the disappearance
375
00:15:24,542 --> 00:15:26,309
of young Scotty Jennings.
376
00:15:26,377 --> 00:15:28,245
What can you tell us,
Mr. Mayor?
377
00:15:28,312 --> 00:15:30,647
Please, Mr. Mayor
is my father.
378
00:15:30,715 --> 00:15:32,282
Call me John Mayor.
379
00:15:32,350 --> 00:15:34,785
Your body is a
wonderland, by the way.
380
00:15:34,852 --> 00:15:38,555
What is the city doing
to help rescue the missing boy?
381
00:15:38,623 --> 00:15:40,390
Well, we're looking
for this child
382
00:15:40,458 --> 00:15:43,960
using all the latest technology,
including the newest,
383
00:15:44,028 --> 00:15:46,496
most advanced
multimedia milk cartons.
384
00:15:46,564 --> 00:15:47,931
Help me!
I'm missing!
385
00:15:47,999 --> 00:15:49,166
Help!
386
00:15:49,233 --> 00:15:50,801
Why are you still
eating breakfast?!
387
00:15:50,868 --> 00:15:52,002
I'm kidnapped!
388
00:15:52,070 --> 00:15:53,837
Why are you turning me
the other way?!
389
00:15:53,905 --> 00:15:55,272
I'm still here!
390
00:15:55,339 --> 00:15:56,707
Scotty Jennings?
391
00:15:56,774 --> 00:15:58,291
Oh, my God!
392
00:15:58,359 --> 00:16:00,127
I know she was upset,
but do you think
393
00:16:00,194 --> 00:16:02,045
Lois would've gone
so far as to kidnap him?
394
00:16:02,113 --> 00:16:03,180
Of course she did.
395
00:16:03,247 --> 00:16:04,281
She'll do anything
for attention.
396
00:16:04,348 --> 00:16:05,482
I know.
397
00:16:05,550 --> 00:16:06,917
She's like the boy
who cried wolf.
398
00:16:08,636 --> 00:16:09,836
Wolf, wolf!
399
00:16:09,921 --> 00:16:11,204
Did you hear that?
400
00:16:11,272 --> 00:16:13,090
Somebody needs help!
Let's go!
401
00:16:16,444 --> 00:16:18,145
Oh, my God, Charles!
402
00:16:18,212 --> 00:16:20,013
Oh, my God,
I'll run and get help.
403
00:16:20,081 --> 00:16:21,548
No, no, we've got
to carry him!
404
00:16:21,616 --> 00:16:23,683
We can't leave him
here; there's a wolf!
405
00:16:23,751 --> 00:16:26,353
Um, there's not
really a wolf.
406
00:16:26,421 --> 00:16:27,487
What?!
407
00:16:27,555 --> 00:16:30,223
Tell my kids I love 'em.
408
00:16:30,291 --> 00:16:33,427
Charlie! Charlie!
409
00:16:33,494 --> 00:16:36,296
This was so funny in my head
when I planned it.
410
00:16:38,983 --> 00:16:40,316
Don't you worry, Scotty.
411
00:16:40,368 --> 00:16:42,035
We're gonna get you
to the hospital
412
00:16:42,103 --> 00:16:43,820
and get you the medical
attention you need.
413
00:16:43,871 --> 00:16:45,122
Yeah, hang in
there, buddy.
414
00:16:45,173 --> 00:16:47,124
When this is over, we
can get some ice cream.
415
00:16:47,175 --> 00:16:49,259
Me and Lois can get
some ice cream, not you.
416
00:16:49,326 --> 00:16:51,011
They're gonna be sticking
needles in you everywhere.
417
00:16:51,095 --> 00:16:52,328
You know, Peter,
you were right,
418
00:16:52,380 --> 00:16:54,014
this is actually
kind of a rush.
419
00:16:54,098 --> 00:16:56,433
I mean, look at us,
we're like Thelma and Louise.
420
00:16:56,500 --> 00:16:58,852
Yeah, but we all know that
didn't end well for them.
421
00:17:00,188 --> 00:17:01,521
You know what?
422
00:17:01,606 --> 00:17:03,974
Let's just turn ourselves in.
423
00:17:04,025 --> 00:17:05,725
I got a great lawyer.
424
00:17:05,810 --> 00:17:08,311
And he says, worst case,
eight to 12 years.
425
00:17:08,362 --> 00:17:10,030
And when we get out,
we'll still have
426
00:17:10,114 --> 00:17:11,698
the rest of our
lives ahead of us.
427
00:17:21,259 --> 00:17:23,026
Good-bye, terrible women.
428
00:17:29,634 --> 00:17:31,084
Oh, my God!
429
00:17:33,221 --> 00:17:35,172
This is Tricia Takanawa.
430
00:17:35,239 --> 00:17:37,974
I am standing outside
Quahog Hospital,
431
00:17:38,042 --> 00:17:40,577
where accused kidnappers
Lois and Peter Griffin
432
00:17:40,645 --> 00:17:42,045
have just arrived.
433
00:17:42,113 --> 00:17:44,981
Also arriving is
my overprotective boyfriend,
434
00:17:45,049 --> 00:17:48,318
who is suspicious whenever I am
called into work at night,
435
00:17:48,386 --> 00:17:51,454
even though I've been a
reporter for years, Tyrone.
436
00:17:51,522 --> 00:17:53,957
I thought I told you
to mention my painting business.
437
00:17:56,894 --> 00:17:59,229
Lois, Peter, stop right there.
438
00:17:59,297 --> 00:18:00,597
You're under arrest
for kidnapping.
439
00:18:00,665 --> 00:18:02,232
I'm gonna have to ask you
440
00:18:02,300 --> 00:18:03,900
to hand over the baby
and surrender.
441
00:18:03,968 --> 00:18:06,102
Joe, please get out of our way.
442
00:18:06,170 --> 00:18:08,839
I promise, when this is over,
I'll gladly go to prison
443
00:18:08,906 --> 00:18:11,341
for the rest of my life,
but not until I bring
444
00:18:11,409 --> 00:18:13,410
this defenseless child
into the hospital
445
00:18:13,477 --> 00:18:15,312
to get him the treatment
he deserves.
446
00:18:15,379 --> 00:18:18,014
Uh, Joe, we would
like two tickets
447
00:18:18,082 --> 00:18:19,115
to the
Policeman's Ball.
448
00:18:19,183 --> 00:18:20,083
Too late!
449
00:18:21,135 --> 00:18:22,219
There they are!
450
00:18:22,286 --> 00:18:24,621
Lois, please!
451
00:18:24,689 --> 00:18:27,190
Stop what you're doing and
give Scotty back to us!
452
00:18:27,258 --> 00:18:28,725
I can't do that, Hope.
453
00:18:28,793 --> 00:18:31,294
But we've entrusted our
son into the Lord's hands.
454
00:18:31,362 --> 00:18:32,662
I know.
455
00:18:32,730 --> 00:18:34,865
And maybe that's why
he ended up in my hands.
456
00:18:34,932 --> 00:18:37,434
The Lord can't do everything,
you know.
457
00:18:37,501 --> 00:18:38,735
Blasphemy!
Heresy!
458
00:18:38,803 --> 00:18:40,136
Sodomy!
459
00:18:40,204 --> 00:18:41,504
Sorry, I don't even
know what's going on.
460
00:18:41,572 --> 00:18:42,522
How you doin'?
461
00:18:42,590 --> 00:18:43,924
Ben, Hope,
462
00:18:43,991 --> 00:18:45,959
I know you don't believe
in modern medicine,
463
00:18:46,027 --> 00:18:48,295
but you do believe
in the power of prayer.
464
00:18:48,362 --> 00:18:49,195
That's right.
465
00:18:49,263 --> 00:18:50,564
And through the years,
466
00:18:50,631 --> 00:18:52,432
when there was disease
or infection,
467
00:18:52,500 --> 00:18:55,235
people of good faith
would pray to God for a cure.
468
00:18:55,303 --> 00:18:56,836
Yes. It's what we do.
469
00:18:56,904 --> 00:19:00,173
Well, then isn't it possible
that penicillin, vaccines
470
00:19:00,241 --> 00:19:03,410
and antibiotics are all
actually answered prayers?
471
00:19:04,912 --> 00:19:06,479
And isn't it possible that
472
00:19:06,547 --> 00:19:08,265
the amazing men and women
of medicine
473
00:19:08,332 --> 00:19:10,083
who brought about these miracles
474
00:19:10,151 --> 00:19:13,386
could be the instruments
of God's answers to our prayers?
475
00:19:13,454 --> 00:19:14,604
It's good so far, Lois.
476
00:19:14,655 --> 00:19:16,573
Try to work a few laughs
in there if you can.
477
00:19:16,641 --> 00:19:18,375
Look, I believe
life is sacred.
478
00:19:18,442 --> 00:19:20,777
And I know you want Scotty
to live a full life.
479
00:19:21,646 --> 00:19:23,446
And if that's
true, then I think
480
00:19:23,514 --> 00:19:24,781
it's wrong for
you to ignore
481
00:19:24,849 --> 00:19:26,917
what very well could
be the Lord's will.
482
00:19:26,984 --> 00:19:29,085
I mean, what's the
point in praying to God
483
00:19:29,153 --> 00:19:31,421
if you're just going to wipe
your butt with his answers?
484
00:19:33,074 --> 00:19:35,592
Hope, Ben,
485
00:19:35,659 --> 00:19:37,994
please let God
answer your prayers.
486
00:19:38,045 --> 00:19:39,896
Please let your son get help.
487
00:19:41,399 --> 00:19:43,566
Well, I guess through
the Lord's will,
488
00:19:43,634 --> 00:19:46,303
anything is possible.
489
00:19:46,370 --> 00:19:47,570
All right, Lois.
490
00:19:47,638 --> 00:19:49,172
Scotty can have
his treatment.
491
00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:50,840
Oh, thank you!
492
00:19:50,891 --> 00:19:53,493
Thank you,
and God bless you both!
493
00:19:53,561 --> 00:19:54,744
Hey, everybody!
494
00:19:54,812 --> 00:19:56,346
We're all gonna get laid!
495
00:20:03,854 --> 00:20:06,756
We now return to
Dracula in San Francisco.
496
00:20:19,804 --> 00:20:21,037
Ooh.
497
00:20:21,105 --> 00:20:23,540
Well, that's why
we have the lab.
498
00:20:23,607 --> 00:20:25,558
Well, I just got off
the phone with Hope,
499
00:20:25,643 --> 00:20:28,161
and it sounds like Scotty's
gonna make a full recovery.
500
00:20:28,229 --> 00:20:29,629
You hear that, Stewie?
501
00:20:29,697 --> 00:20:31,231
Looks like your little
friend's gonna be okay.
502
00:20:31,298 --> 00:20:32,666
Eh, I don't care about him.
503
00:20:32,733 --> 00:20:34,334
I've got a new friend
who's got leprosy.
504
00:20:35,770 --> 00:20:37,337
See, he's funny.
505
00:20:37,405 --> 00:20:39,806
Peter, are you actually reading
that Christian Science book?
506
00:20:39,873 --> 00:20:41,574
Yeah, you know, I figured
I'd give it a shot.
507
00:20:41,642 --> 00:20:42,943
I mean, wouldn't it
be cool if you could
508
00:20:43,011 --> 00:20:46,262
pray really hard for something,
and it actually happened?
509
00:20:49,166 --> 00:20:51,167
I am so happy for me.
510
00:20:51,235 --> 00:20:52,702
I deserve this.
511
00:20:52,753 --> 00:20:54,454
When do you think
the Queen's gonna die?
512
00:20:56,769 --> 00:21:00,369
== sync, corrected by elderman ==38571
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