Original subtitles

The film, begun on the C�te d'Azur,

is completed in Paris at a Neuilly studio.

People have approached it in their own way according to their tastes.

Seen stepping out of a car large enough...

for the screenwriter,

the leading man,

and the director.

I told my assistant, Fran�ois Gir, to come by auto.

He had the cheek to make out I said:

"Come by autogyro. "

Thanks!

Here are our industrious, smiling workers.

Among them are perhaps a future cinematographer,

a sound engineer or a set designer.

Here�s our film editor, Raymond Lamy.

He edits, edits, edits at a hectic pace.

Handling so much film is always a worry.

Lana Marconi wanted to come by horse.

In the end she accepted a cart being attached to her horse.

Production manager Andr� Deroual, never failed to arrive.

Got it. It'll be done.

And then to return.

Only to come back again.

Always on his own.

Attending to everything, watching everything neglecting nothing...

he was a spectacle of all-consuming activity...

efficient, yet courteous.

Under the pretext that Neuilly is on the Seine,

Bernard Blier finds it best to come by water.

He managed things with masterful authority.

His admiral's cap,

wasn't taken off 'til the last moment.

As to my cinematographer

who organises his lighting

with such infallible precision,

he was able to turn up at the last minute...

knowing he'd always be first to be ready.

Louiguy, who wrote the music for the film,

turns up conducting the orchestra himself.

It either played one of his tunes, or anything else at all.

This train from Marseilles

is bringing us Arius and Eyser, from the Com�die-Fran�aise.

Simone Paris kept her balance

straight from the Basque coast.

She's welcomed by Solange Varennes.

Mallet, Darbel and de Fun�s arrive by bus,

with Poirier, Pignier the assistant director,

sound engineer Janisse, make-up man Chanteau,

cameraman Bachelet, with Ren� Ribault,

Andr� Bernard, Paulette Bodrigard,

dresser Gilberte, and script-girl Odette Lemarchand.

Flying at 342 kph, this plane is bringing

Meg Lemonnier from Monte-Carlo.

Finally, keen to be noticed at any cost,

Pauline Carton arrives on foot.

She doesn't get flustered just because she's last to arrive...

nor because she's usually first on in the filming.

How would I look in the subway in a costume like this?

- You'd make an impression. - I quite agree, madame.

- So how did it go? - An automatic triumph.

When you've got a piece of work that's so well written and put together,

success is a certainty.

So well, that you don't know how much you'll get credit for,

us other actors, I mean.

But that's not the question of the evening.

So what is the question?

It's about a member of the audience.

Find out the name

of the woman with the low-cut dress,

with diamonds up to here,

who�s in the box on my right, please.

- She's ravishing. - I'll take a look.

Thanks.

Come in.

What is it? Ah!

Monsieur Renneval, sorry to bother you.

Are we sleeping together tonight?

Why do you ask?

A man I don't know, a friend of a friend,

is asking me to spend the evening with him.

Go ahead.

You're not irritated by my asking every evening?

No.

Good luck.

Rest assured, up to the end of the tour

you'll have preference. I'm sure of it.

You're very conscientious for a young actress.

So?

Well, she's Madame Verdier.

The husband's a jeweller in the Place Vend�me.

She's been married once before, the first with an officer's son.

Her present husband's with her in the box.

He's not the old one. The old one's the prefect.

You must have seen him... I mean the husband.

I caught sight of him,

but now I'll take a better look.

You always need to know what the husband's like.

But how have you been able to get so much detailed information

so quickly?

I checked with the usherettes.

One knew one bit, the other another... Usherettes know everything!

People tell them things... they pass love-notes.

In 15 years, you see a lot.

Especially here in Monte-Carlo.

They're all old ruined gamblers.

You're kidding me!

Ruined but not cured.

Some of them will draw a random cloakroom number,

and dash out,

to blow all their tips on it on the roulette wheels.

So,

this lady's really got to you?

Yes, she'd get to me very nicely.

Bad luck you're leaving day after tomorrow.

All the more reason to make a move.

- Really? - Of course.

Do you know which are the men

who as a rule are most adored by women?

It's those they only make love once with.

It's like that all over the world...

...those wonderful places it's better not to return to.

full of beautiful pictures never to be seen again

and beautiful books better left unread.

There are even cities

where it's best to do only one performance.

They're ringing.

When you get down to it the theatre's your whole life.

- The theatre and love. - Not at the same time!

Oh yes!

Anything's possible

when love and the theatre are mixed.

They're bound together!

inseparable... a confusion.

Yes... confused... you sometimes can't tell them apart.

And for me, to act is to make love.

So also... making love is acting?

No, I'm not saying that.

No. I'm not saying that but I think about it.

Listen, after a late supper, let's suppose...

Triumphant, like this one.

Let us not mince words.

So, after such a supper,

having just played 5 acts,

There remains another act to be committed.

Love becomes the normal conclusion, the consequence

in the end, the reward for a job well done.

So an actor can expect applause from his bed-mate

and a "bravo!" at... a... certain... moment!

No but I'd like to think that one night I'd get an enthusiastic request,

murmured in my ear: "More!"

You're on in 5 minutes.

After all, it is possible.

You see, Madame, an actor...

is not so much interested in his own pleasure...

as in the memories he leaves.

But if we want that memory to be indelible...

it's best we don't risk erasing it ourselves.

- Your Eminence, come in... what a wonderful surprise.

- You're so attractive, madame.

Seeing you overwhelms me.

He's speaking as though he's addressing YOU.

I'm at a loss for the words to express my feelings.

You know who that was ? No.

Renneval. You think so ?

I saw him last night at the theatre. I recognised him right away.

- We could ask for his autograph ? - Good idea.

- Are you game to ? - He'll be flattered.

Monsieur Renneval ?

Would it be indiscrete to ask for an autograph ?

- Not at all, mademoiselle. - You see !

- "You see" what ? - I was talking to my friend.

That surprised me, but didn't offend me.

Don't hurry on my account, mademoiselle.

Thanks.

It'd be really nice of you to sign twice.

You don't have any other errands around here ?

We'll divide up the page later.

It must be annoying for you always having people after autographs.

I'd be more annoyed if I wasn't asked.

Thank you, monsieur.

It's been so exciting to see you close up

and here your voice.

And we like you better without the beard and moustache!

Goodbye, young ladies.

GOODBYE, MONSIEUR.

- Thank you, madame. - "Thank you" ? For what ?

For having been

so attractive yesterday, during the whole evening performance.

Weren't you in the box on my right,

at the theatre ? - Indeed, yes.

I saw only you during the entire performance.

I only played to you. The declaration of love

in the second act was being made to you.

I had the temerity to skip two retorts at the end of the scene.

They didn't agree with the real feelings

I felt for you.

Now fate, which sometimes does things well,

has put you in my path. Don't blame me for that.

No, monsieur, not at all.

You are just as attractive

in real life. "In real life" ?

Oh, I�m sorry.

I so have the feeling that last night

we were playing on stage together !

Julie ?

Julie ?

Julie ! Never around, that one.

Yes, monsieur ?

- My wife's not back ? - Not yet, monsieur.

- You've packed my bag ? - Yes, monsieur.

- Do you know where she's gone ? - To buy some magazines.

"Some magazines"...

She's doing the dirty on him, for sure.

Please cover up.

Couldn't we take a few steps together ?

You realise I'm making us perform

the craziest act of foolishness?

By me talking to you, and you replying,

we've removed the footlights.

That wall of light that protects us or equally separates us

so we could each keep our illusions to ourselves.

We wear hairpieces on stage,

and we're covered in transfiguring makeup.

That's how you see us.

As for you, I see you as understanding, subtle...

in that combination, you represent a high point.

Now we're suddenly face to face:

the public and the actor.

Are our illusions in danger ?

I ask YOU!

That's reassuring. Thank you.

- What ? - Nothing.

- What's up ?

- My husband. - You call that "nothing" ?

Do you mind if he sees us together ?

- Very much so. - Well, come through here.

- Are you free ? - Yes, monsieur.

Have you seen Th�r�se ?

I only got a glimpse of him, but he seemed quite alright.

- My husband ? - Yes. Quite alright.

What do you mean by "quite alright" ?

In his role, really. He seemed perfect to me.

In life, we should look like what we are.

I'm an actor, so I must act like an actor.

He looks just like a husband.

Being a husband isn't a profession.

No, but it's a job just the same.

But if he looks like a husband do I look like a married woman ?

It's different for a married woman.

She always stays a woman.

The day before their marriage he was a different man.

Next day, he's a husband.

Besides, in French we say man and woman.

She doesn't change her job.

And "woman" doesn't have a synonym

just as "cuckold" doesn't apply to a woman.

A husband doesn't always have to be one of those.

No! But the first step is taken.

But I won't speak badly of him.

Those men play a major role in love.

Their blissful gullibility

favours those quick little meetings

whose charm is in their brevity.

Would they be possible without them ?

- Like omelets. - What'd you say ?

What's this lift for ?

It brings you down to this corridor,

which takes you to another lift...

which takes you up to the gaming room.

The gamblers don't have time to lose.

They can go to their games anytime.

Can you take us up to the ground floor ?

Do you ever get stage-fright ?

On stage, always a little.

- In real life ? - Occasionally.

I had it terribly when I addressed you on stage.

Good morning.

Oh, Henriette.

I didn't see you.

- What are you doing here ? - Getting a bit of sun.

- You haven�t see Th�r�se, have you ? - No.

- She's been out for an hour. - And that worries you?

- Him again ? - Yes.

- You want to hide ? - I'd rather.

Let's go.

Walk resolutely.

You're looking for your wife, you won't find her there.

Right off, you're at a loose end.

- Tell me, are we lost ?

I fear so, madame. or rather, I hope so.

Ah, here's a door.

Come on. Give me your hand.

No.

Thanks. Let me guide you.

Do you know what you'd do if you were nice ?

You'd come to dinner tonight at the house.

I wouldn't want Th�r�se to be alone.

Be glad to.

And also, if you were a real friend...

- I'd spend the night with her. - Precisely.

I'm not saying no, but I'll wait for her to ask.

Thanks

- Oh, there's a curtain.

A curtain is always hiding something.

Could it be a show.

Have you ever seen a nightclub with nobody in it ?

- Never. - I'll give you a...

look!

Amazing!

All those people who aren't there.

- All the noise that nobody hears. - It's incredible.

A nightclub on a diet of silence.

Something's missing. Allow me.

Let's sit down.

Let's pretend to be at this table.

- What's missing ? - Nothing.

Shall we have fun making a huge stretch of the imagination?

Yes.

- Would you like some music ? - Very much.

Let's hear it then.

Shall we have a man at the piano over there ?

- Why not ?

- Here he is.

I'd like a bass, too.

Your every wish

is my command.

Would you like percussion ?

I think it's essential.

Here we are then.

Clarinet

at counterpoint.

- A violin, madame ? - Why not two ?

Done...

Two violins, please.

- Two saxes ? - Love it!

- Two saxes, please...thanks.

And a trumpet ?

- Need to say "a trumpet" ? - Naturally.

- Why ? - Because he plays trumpet.

A trumpet... with a bit more light ?

There.

When your imagination's involved, it'd be mad to interfere.

What's left to imagine ?

There are people there.

And down there.

4 at that table.

All over the place.

Some are dancing.

And now we're dressed differently.

- Are you coming this evening ? - Where to ?

- To the theatre. - No, unfortunately.

Oh ! And here I am leaving tomorrow.

- Tomorrow ? - Yes, for months and months.

I'm playing Italy, Greece Libya, Egypt.

Why don't you come ? To Egypt ...Libya ?

- No, to the theatre tonight. - Because my husband's going away.

- Going away ? - For two days.

- Where to ? - Paris...on business.

He's taking the 9.40 train.

That's between acts. And I'm not in the second act.

I'll have an hour, a full hour...

...by adding both intervals before and after the second act.

You don't mind, do you...

that I've got a free hour

from the minute your husband leaves.

Why do you say "don't mind" ?

- So you're going tomorrow ? - Yes.

- So soon ? - Yes.

So you see there are wonderful places around the world

where it's better not to return to.

The wonderful pictures, it's better not to see again,

and the beautiful books it's better not to read again.

- You have pretty feet. - Do I ?

Very.

Women don't like men's feet.

They don't do anything for women. For us, they matter.

What's funny, is that it only matters

when they have shoes on.

Madame, would it be indiscrete to ask you where you live ?

- Don't talk to me about that. - Why ?

Our garden fence is 3 strides from the stage door.

Let's stroll over. You'll get what I mean.

Oh, but then...

All the same, it's odd we've never slept together.

I don't see that it's odd.

- I'm a friend of Th�r�se's. - Precisely!

Precisely wrong!

You're still so middle-class.

You laugh at women who behave like Th�r�se.

What makes you think that Th�r�se behaves herself?

You're disgusting.

What entitles you to doubt her, anyway ?

- I'll tell you one day. - Has she got someone ?

the way we talk about these things...

- Do you suspect her ? - It doesn't matter.

Anything could happen, any time.

Why ?

- Until this evening. - ...This evening.

- Our garden gate...

- The artists' entrance.

Just a stone's throw.

Listen...

Just come to bed with me one time, and I'll tell you everything.

Are you really as frivolous as you like to make out ?

It's a bit more complicated than that.

Since I don't have it in me to play the serious lover...

- Why do you say that ? - I think it's true.

So rather than suffer,

I get straight to the point.

Oh...I don't always enjoy doing it.

But I think on balance it gives me the best chance.

So if she should deceive me some day,

I console myself by saying I've been up-front about mine.

If I told you I'd already been three times ?

No, no, no. Not a cuckold...unfaithful.

See you later.

8 o'clock?... As I'm leaving.

- Monsieur Verdier. - That's right.

- A telegram. - Thanks.

I wish I could tell you more.

That's the first time that's happened.

Even though I started quite young.

Have you seen anybody ? No one...and you ?

No one at all.

How would you think I could have seen someone ?

That's the crazy part about dining outside at this time.

Let's hope she hasn't caught a chill.

No...in you go !

You're not dressed warmly enough,

to stay outside.

In this weather...

You don't realise how chilly it is... and you wake up with a cold.

We dined too early. It's only 8.30

- What's it matter ? - It doesn't...you're right.

Isn't Th�r�se always right ?

What time's your train ? 9.40.

I've still got an hour.

When I take a train,

I'm always on the platform half an hour early.

That's a lot.

It's better than being late.

- She's keen to get rid of me ! - Don't be silly.

- Good evening, madame. - Good evening, Monsieur Renneval.

If you have the courage, the strength or the desire,

be a sweetie and get me my electric razor.

- Didn't you shave this morning ? - Yes, and I'm shaving again tonight.

It isn't a role for you to worry about your appearance.

You're shaving a second time, arriving early...

So you've seen her ?

I met her this morning.

We're talking about the same one... the one in the front box ?

That's the one.

You've got a chance ?

Oh, madame... a chance ? How about we say a certainty.

So that's it !

I'm flabbergasted !

- "Flabbergasted" ? Why ? - Because.

I didn't want to say anything yesterday to discourage you,

but that woman makes out to be...

Please realise, I'm not saying it

to disappoint you.

Just tell me what you want to say about her.

You shouldn't believe what say people.

You know what jealousy does.

It's easy to slander people.

You're torturing me ! Just get to the point !

According to an old usher who knew her as a child,

she's an honest woman.

- "Honest" ? - Yes.

But maybe that's wrong...

And maybe it doesn't scare you.

It doesn't scare me.

Great !

Usually, in love situations, honest women...

Hold on !... They aren't to be overlooked.

- No ? - Not at all.

I've had the odd experience, I'll have you know.

Honest women are usually more sensual than the others.

- Why ? - Why indeed ?

Because they're usually unsatisfied.

Well... I guess you've put your finger on it.

And it's odd that you should be telling that to me,

who fits that picture.

Sensual ?

Unsatisfied.

With one exception, though.

He was a fireman.

Oh, a great guy.

He used to call me his little fire.

But it only lasted...

One time.

But as you were saying so well yesterday,

There are beautiful places it's better not to return to,

paintings it's better not to see again.

None of it matters... we'll see !

- Isn't that true ? - Of course, monsieur.

I would've liked to go. We don't know 'Primerose'.

It seems it's a delightful play.

- So are you both going ? - Out of the question.

8.45.

I heard.

I met Henriette this morning.

Oh yes ?

You know what I asked her ?

To spend the night here with you.

What for ?

- I asked you what for ? - To keep you company.

What an idea !

I know you don't like being alone.

Yes...when we were living in that lonely villa,

but I've nothing to fear here.

Anyway, I brought my pyjamas. Don't say another word...

You're too kind, but...

At the last minute you'll ask me if I'll stay.

Stay...of course. It'll make me very happy.

Me too. It'll calm me down.

- It'll calm you down ? - Yes.

For a husband, there aren't only burglars to worry about.

There's the local Casanovas.

What do you take me for !

Just joking.

You've no call whatever to suggest such a thing.

None, but...

What ?

Nothing about you.

I was thinking about what I'd suffered.

Because your first two wives were sluts...

They weren't sluts.

You're defending them ?

You're forcing me to.

So it was me who started this ?

You've already told me they cheated on you.

So what've you got to boast about ?

I'm not boasting... I know it didn't cover me in any glory.

But they were no more sluts than you are.

Let me finish.

They weren't sluts. They became unfaithful

because they found themselves in unpredictable situations

that were out of their control.

That could happen to you.

Supposing a man seeing me leave tonight

climbs over the garden gate,

gags you, throws you on the divan and abuses you.

- Would you be guilty ? - No.

However, I...

What do you think this man would be like ?

I don't know. Tall, strong, frightening.

Yes, but are you quite sure he knows you're leaving tonight?

Of course not.

But I AM sure you wouldn't be laughing about it.

Stands to reason.

I don't doubt you're sure of yourself,

but accidents do happen.

When I met Henriette this morning, I talked about it...

- There's time. - What for ?

To tell you how I was the first time.

You'll see a man can be what he should be

without his wife deceiving him.

She was very attractive. You've seen her photos.

Beautiful but boring...

...and melancholic.

I told her so.

No, darling, you're not a pain in the neck,

but you're so gloomy.

Not only that, you're worried.

Why that worried look ?

Who are you worried about ?

- You. - Me ? Must be something else.

- What are you afraid of ? - That you're cheating on me and are leaving me.

In the 3 years we've been married,

have I ever cheated on you ? - How would I know?

- This really calming. - Who for ?

For you, for heaven's sake... ...silly little fool!

You look hurt for no reason at all.

Smile, my darling. Give me a smile now and again.

Not just for my sake... it'll do you good.

There's no reason for people like us to take ourselves seriously.

We met. I found you very pleasing.

I had to please you.

You had a lover, I had a mistress.

We slept together. We went off to Brittany.

Later, I married you... to make you happy.

There's no reason for it to end in Greek tragedy.

Show a little humour... even in our intimate moments.

Some people think making love is a serious business.

That's alright for them.

I think it's something that can be amusing,

not screamingly funny, but nicely so.

and if I sometimes wished for a woman who could laugh out loud,

I'd never wish for a woman in tears.

I'm off.

Where are you going ?

I should be at Bourdier's by 5 o'clock.

Ah, that's right.

Walk with me a bit... Get some fresh air.

Henri, do you want me to tell you the truth ?

Go ahead.

If you were to leave me, my life 'd be over.

That's just the sort of thing we don't say. Off you go !

Henri, look at me properly. With pleasure, darling.

- I swear to you on my mother... - How's she going ?

- Not very well. - So be careful what you say.

I couldn't stand being touched by anyone but you.

- Is there any question of that ? - Of course not.

You shouldn't go around imagining sleeping with another man,

because that's not very nice for me.

Dr Marinier's here.

Show him in. Good afternoon.

Go in... No, better outside.

- Is he a good doctor ? - You've something wrong ?

Not at all... but if I got sick ?

You'll have to ask him the name of a good doctor.

- Good afternoon old chap. - Good afternoon.

'Afternoon, Lucie.

I can only give you a few minutes.

That's more than enough.

- You'll be home for dinner ? - Of course...

...but not before 8.30. - See you!

I'm listening.

I've just seen the most stunning,

the most striking, the most shocking ...

Get to the point please.

Well old friend, I just saw your double.

I just meet you at the post office.

Your size, face, eyes, voice, gestures ...

no doubt about it...YOU!

I even said hello to him.

I've often heard that everyone has a double somewhere.

But I never really thought

that such a likeness really occurred.

You seem more dubious than amused by what I'm telling you.

It annoys me more than it amuses me.

How could you know I was there ?

- You know about him ? - In a way.

Come with me as far as Saint-Sauveur.

You'll find something beautiful.

We'll find it too ?

So tell me about it.

I knew I had a double who lived in Ostend.

Where you spent 8 days... a month ago.

When my train pulled in there on the platform,

was a gorgeous young blonde,

with beautiful eyes.

She saw me, smiled at me,

called me Hector, threw her arms around my neck

and gave me the most exquisite kiss I've ever had in my life.

What else could you do ? You did what you had to do.

- I assume you did... - Of course.

This woman was Hector's mistress.

For an hour I made love as "Hecky".

- So how did it end up ? - Badly...terribly badly.

A message signed "Hecky" arrived at that final moment.

He missed his train and he apologized.

- What is it ?

Monsieur wants to see Monsieur.

What do you mean ?

Monsieur Verdier is there and he wants to see Monsieur Verdier.

- What are you trying to say ? - I haven't got a clue.

Perhaps he's been drinking and wants to play a joke on you.

- He's in the vestibule ? - Yes, madame.

What are you doing there ?

Don't stand there in the vestibule.

Excuse me but I want to talk to Henri Verdier.

What are you on about ?

You're wrong being on first-name terms. I'm not your husband.

Sorry, I just don't get the joke.

- And where did that suit come from ? It's my suit, madame.

You can be so annoying.

You've just been on at me for being too sad-faced.

If this's something you've come up with to make me laugh...

Listen to me... I beg of you !

Calm down, madame.

Hold off the attack, and listen to me for just a minute.

- Between your husband and me there's.... - No, I don't want to hear it !

Maybe it's something funny,

but I'm just not in the mood for it right now.

- In that case... - No, Henri, don't you go off !

I can see through your little game.

A man of your age who does what you're doing to his wife

is either a lunatic or a man who's fallen out of love.

And as you're very well-balanced, it's you who doesn't love me any more.

We should separate.

I'd never be a burden to anybody.

Do you want me to leave tonight ? What a stupid question !

Your eyes are full of hate.

You're looking at me out of curiosity... quite indifferent.

I barely know you.

- But...madame... - Shut up !

I had three lovers before I met you.

I'll slap you if you laugh !

I lost the second one. The other two left me.

But neither of them laughed at me.

I can put up with anything from a man except that.

It drives a woman crazy.

You're trying to drive me crazy right now !

- Stop it Henri ! - I'm NOT HENRI !

You asked for it !

I'm sorry ! Have I hurt you ? Let me see.

Oh, I might've killed you.

How terrible ! Darling...forgive me !

I love you so ! I adore you ! Your mouth...

OK by me, madame.

I hadn't heard anything until today.

I was convinced this woman had said nothing to Hector.

But his presence implies she's confessed all.

He's obviously looking for me.

Saint-Sauveur was no accident.

Why 'd he be looking for you ?

Such a close resemblance is just chance.

It excuses his mistress, but not me.

She mistook me for him, but I knew it was wrong...

Of course.

- What are you doing ? - Going back to the house.

I'm scared something might 've happened.

- Take me darling ! - Whereabouts ?

- You're doing a hundred ! - That's the least of my worries.

I'm glad.

Now they'll never know I cracked it a week ago.

All over ? That was quick ! I wasn't mistaken.

I'll tell Madame Quentin. It'll make her happy.

Is that the local paper ?

Is that Madame Quentin ?

This is Zo�, from Madame Verdier's.

Good morning.

I have some interesting news.

Everything's patched up between them.

Exactly. They're at it now.

Pass the word to Marguerite and Mathilde.

And do you have anything new for me?

Some dirt on... ?

Whose place ?

The Montverts ?

Cuckold ?

Honestly, it doesn't surprise me.

Does the haberdasher know about it ?

Perfect.

It's so convenient having you to collect the district gossip.

Gives your paper a purpose !

It's so helpful for those of us who live other people's lives.

Is Madame in ?

- She's in there. - Resting ?

I haven't been listening...

But I don't think...

- You're acting crazy. - I think I am.

- Henri ! You stay covered up.

So as to avoid a ridiculous fight...

...we exchanged cards.

How does it finish ?

We fought a duel...by hiding.

- How ? - Masked.

- Wearing masks ? - Yes, fencing masks.

- So as to pretend better. - Pretend what ?

So as not to really fight. We both agree.

We had to avoid a scandal.

Two doubles duelling in front of witnesses!

But I was still obliged to seek redress by force of arms.

But to get out of having witnesses,

we had to pretend to stage an attack.

- "An attack" ? - Yes.

Is that what you call reparations ?

- Funny sort of reparations. - Why ?

Each in his own way to avenge his honour.

- An attack isn't a duel. - Yes it is.

When the swords have their points unsheathed.

Are they ?

We pretend not to fight.

But you fought ?

Of course.

With just one witness... my friend Marinier,

...lucky he's a doctor.

You're ready ? Let's go.

You stay here.

- No ! - Yes.

You're not supposed to be there.

Monsieur Verdier, you're there.

- No...let's see. - It's me.

- It's a mix-up. - She's well aware of that.

- It is you, isn't it ? - I'm pretty sure of it.

Seriously.

Madame.

Monsieur.

Monsieur.

Monsieur.

Monsieur.

Monsieur.

Prepare yourselves, gentlemen.

You must be proud, having two men fighting for you.

That's true. It's like the Three Musketeers.

- Oh, I'd love it to happen to me !

- What is it ? - A bit of dust in my eye.

- What is it ? - He has a bit of dust in his eye.

You beast !

Darling...show me.

Oh, my darling ! Quickly, Doctor !

- Lucie !

Lucie !

- Who was the victim ? - Him, unfortunately.

"Unfortunately" ?

- Because Lucie's thrown herself at him,

and now she's hugging him.

I managed to get him to admit he wasn't me.

And she was the one who said she couldn't stand

being with anyone but me !

That's the moral of this story :

We are all deluding ourselves in love.

When I was saying to you

that it might well happen to you

and that she wasn't a whore, I wasn't wrong.

She stayed faithful and he made me a cuckold.

I'll miss my train. Julie !

- But you've separated from her. - It went wrong.

3 days later I was in a cake shop,

she saw me, took me for the other guy, smiled and said :

"I've only thought of you since the other day."

You may look the same, but there are differences.

My hat and coat.

And the other one... your second wife.

- She's not a whore either ? - No.

I haven't the time to tell you about it.

Women enjoy a man being cuckolded. It gives you ideas.

As if we were missing out !

OK...quickly...in two minutes !

It was 7 years ago,

I had just married a charming person,

not over-endowed in the brain department, but no less sweet.

That was for sure.

I had just set up in the Place Vend�me.

That's the crowning point in the career of any jeweller.

For want of anything better to do, Juliette acted as my secretary.

She wanted to handle sales, though she understood nothing.

Too much shop-girl carry-on,

nice in its place,

but doesn't fit the important transactions

in an upmarket jewellers.

If you're selling a bra you can make deals.

But to take a cheque for 800 000 francs

for a ring worth maybe half that,

calls for a certain manner.

Juliette certainly didn't have that manner.

Her clients always left empty-handed.

There was this particular day when she seemed to realise it.

"You've sold a lot, dear ?"

That wasn't a nice thing to ask,

but I thought it best to laugh it off.

But she wasn't in the mood for joshing that morning.

And I saw in her eyes that this harmless quip

filled her heart with a desire for revenge.

The Sultan of Manamesh, after his official visit,

was staying incognito at the Ritz.

Insofar as a man dressed that way walking with his entourage

can pass as incognito.

He was buying everything on this trip, particularly paintings.

And when he saw "Renoir" he jumped for joy.

He was wrong.

He even wanted to take a shop on the Place Vend�me.

He loved Paris.

But he was made to understand that was impossible.

Juliette had gone to put on a coat and beret.

I saw her race out the door.

Where was she going ? Nowhere.

She just wandered about.

Later she told me what had happened outside.

The sultan's propositions...

His offers coming through his interpreter,

her continuous refusals...

and the final disappointment of that singular character.

I saw Juliette again at lunch.

Sorry I'm late.

Give me some of that.

- You're starting with the fruit salad ? - What ?

You're not starting with the fruit salad ?

With salt, no appetizers.

So you see, my little Henri,

you've never known what sort of woman I was.

Do you want to know what I am ?

Love to.

I'm an exceptional woman.

What do you mean by exceptional ?

What ?

Of the first order.

Everything I do is planned.

I'm a thinking woman, and an action woman as well.

You could have me govern a large country

or manage a railway network.

I'm organised.

Do you know where I get my life-force from ?

I'm going to tell you.

It comes from being smart,

insightful, visionary,

subtle, positive,

lucid, ingenious, inventive and wise,

and I'm being modest.

And how do you see yourself as "modest" ?

Up to now, I�ve never had to use any of these attributes.

Why's that ?

I can't tell you.

Well, I want to know !

In a married relationship,

the wife shouldn't eclipse her husband.

You mocked me about the sale of a piece of jewellery

which didn't go through. - I didn't mock you.

It was totally unfair.

If I didn't sell the piece to that couple

it's because I didn't want to sell it to them

Why not ?

It was too expensive for them.

By offering it to his wife,

he was making a huge sacrifice.

I saw it in his eyes.

I thought that this man who was probably in poor health,

would go without treatment

just to make please his wife,

who had a slit for a mouth.

This thought stopped me from selling.

I advised them not to buy.

Exactly.

But there's a chance to make a big deal for you.

Then you'll see

what sort of saleswoman I am.

Don't shrug like that, Henri.

You're trying to challenge me.

- Admit it. - I do ...

I won't forget it.

It was a different kind of pain in the arse,

but still a pain in the arse.

Two hours later at the shop

I received a very interesting phone call.

I was asked to come to room 83

at The Ritz,

with the diamond and emerald piece I had in the window,

and to come without delay.

Give me the green box for the piece in the window.

Right now...

put on your hat and coat.

I challenged you just now. Here's your chance.

Apartment 83 over at The Ritz.

Sell it.

Price is 4 million. You can accept 3.

And if you pull this off,

I'll give you the leopard skin coat you've had your eye on.

At that time, I didn't know the Sultan had designs on her.

In the time it took to cross the square, she was in the Ritz.

I'm going to reveal something I've never told you.

It was on that same day that you and I met.

In that shop, when you came in

to ask the price of a brooch.

I remember.

But you didn't know what a red-letter day it was.

Give me the blue box.

And when you had the piece in your hand,

do you remember what you said to me ?

- It's really that much? - Yes, madame.

And I even added...

It's not the sort of thing you can afford to buy for yourself.

- And you looked into my eyes... - You didn't think I was ugly.

I was insuring my future. Planning against misfortune.

So you were saving me up for later.

- I didn't keep you waiting long. - No. That's true.

And this brooch which seemed exorbitant at the time...

your still wearing it. Your engagement present.

A wonderful present.

So what happened with the sultan and the emeralds?

An hour later she came back with the cheque.

Three and a half million instead of three.

And she was wearing the necklace.

Even more astonishing,

was that she demanded the coat that I'd promised her.

But she wasn't a tart.

I still didn't know you should never challenge women.

I'll be lucky if I don't miss my train...

Au revoir, Henriette.

Let me fix your coat.

It'd be a crime not to deceive him, wouldn't it?

Why are you saying that to me ?

Because I intend behaving very badly this evening.

- I'm expecting Jean Renneval. - You're joking ?

Not at all.

Clear it away.

It's scary there are men like that.

Renneval ?

No... men like Henri.

They're the ones who make women unfaithful.

- He's not only deceiving ME... - He's deceiving YOU ?

Yes. I found out this morning.

Quite by chance. He said to us during lunch

that he was going to Paris to finalise a deal with Bourdier.

The woman may have to change her alibi... his remains the same.

He received a telegram informing him that the appointment was cancelled.

How do you know ?

Because the post office

is 2 minutes from here.

The gum hasn't had time to dry.

That lets me take a look...

without it being noticeable. When he saw it the envelope was resealed.

You see, I believe in coincidences.

I'm alone this evening. He's good in bed.

I'm talking about Renneval.

There's time between acts, he only has to cross the street,

He doesn't know my name, he's leaving tomorrow,

and my husband's deceiving me.

Look at me and tell me you don't envy me.

Any woman would have to envy you .

What's he like ?

He's nice. What more can I say ?

Confident?

He'd be silly if he wasn't.

How old is he ?

He's every age.

He changes it so often, he loses track.

- I just thought of something. - What ?

Julie...one person too many.

Julie !

- Oh ! The hot water's freezing

The cold water too.

You're not going out dressed like that ?

Of course I am. Nothing wrong with it.

Julie, go to the casino...

Lend me 1000 francs.

Bet 100 on "5" every time "17" wins.

After "5", logically you should play "21" .

Probably. Here's 1000 francs to play with.

- I've got an hour to spare. - Me too.

- Good luck. - Good luck to you too, madame!

It occurs to me : if Renneval comes between acts,

he'll be in make-up. Most likely in a costume.

That IS a bit of a bother.

He might be wearing a beard.

Off or on... it's all the same to me.

You really are crazy !

He's the 'tall dark and handsome' one that Henri goes on about.

He won't have to leap over the fence, or gag me, to have his way.

- Is he in town for long ? - No.

- He's leaving tomorrow. - Oh !

What ?

There are wonderful things in the world

it's better not to go back to,

wonderful paintings it's better not to see again,

such beautiful books it's better not to read again.

- That's about YOU ? About HIM ? - No.

He's just playing one of his roles.

I heard the bell for interval.

Let me say something about what I'm doing

so you don't judge me too harshly.

It's not the first time I've deceived Henri.

It's the third time.

So you see... it's not as serious as you thought !

- Where's the train ? - It's left.

Shit !

- I'll open the small gate.

Shit ! Shit !

Are you going to carry on the whole way?

Shit ! Shit ! Shit !

- What did he say ? "Shit".

Such language !

I adore you !

There's nothing dumber than missing your train.

The next one's not 'til 11.57.

Has she already gone to bed ?

I adore you !

I'm going crazy... this can't be happening !

This is the weirdest thing that ever happened.

I thought I'd seen everything, but here's a new one !

That woman.

I never expected it from Th�r�se. Henriette either, for that matter.

It's a strange feeling.

Certainly different.

A serious development.

This really screws me up right now!

I'd love to do the same to them.

One thing though... I can't just walk in on them.

Hullo...who's calling ?

It's you, Henriette ?

Henriette ! Where are you calling from ? Your place ?

Good Lord !

Get dressed, monsieur, and come and face me !

As for you, we'll settle this right away.

A white-haired man...stark naked !

Come in.

- Isn't Renneval here ? - He's gone out.

- "Gone out" ? - Yes.

But he's dressed... and he's not far away.

Yes, a cardinal.

Unfortunately.

Good grief !

- That's incredible ! - lncredible indeed.

One could even say...

That's why you won't say anything.

In the face of God's will,

there can be no response.

Be respectful, even when surprised.

What interest could the Almighty have

in putting you into this situation?

What about YOU ?

I am but God's instrument... my role is a small one.

But truly, why did He pick YOU ?

Is it a test ? Is it a punishment ?

Who can explain my presence here?

YOU can explain !

Shall I achieve that ?

Your conduct is unspeakable !

So, let's not speak of it. It's not for you to pass judgment.

- Whadda you mean "not for me" ? - No.

I'm only answerable to God, my son.

I'm not your son.

I must insist on your addressing me as "father".

Otherwise this discussion

must be terminated.

I appreciate your feelings, and I wish to calm your anger.

- But unfortunately...moreover relatively... - SHUT THE FUCK UP !

...relative to what affects you,

it does not permit you to lessen respect for my robes.

You hardly set an example to it worthy of respect !

I had taken it off, my son. You saw that yourself.

- Ask me to sit down. - What do you mean ?

Offer me a seat. You can't leave a cardinal standing.

Sit down.

A cardinal... But why ? WHY ?

The fear of scandal,

the assurance of total discretion,

the rarity of the occurrence, the attraction of its novelty...

She swore that I was the first cardinal she'd ever had.

How did you two get to know each other ?

As I was saying... In that sacred place.

Yes, at confession.

A wounded heart can awaken so much compassion.

- But really ! - You have the proof of it.

Who would you rather have taken your honour...

an atheist, a foreigner, a protestant,

a Jew, or a Buddhist ?

I wouldn't think so.

Her sin was inevitable,

since not even I could stop it.

My exhortations, my sagacious advise,

nothing could deflect her from the path of evil.

Someone had to sacrifice himself... and it fell to me.

You would understand me, my child, were you not personally involved.

But let us put the past behind us and face the present.

Don't stay standing my child. Be seated.

I beg of you.

Be seated.

What do you intend to do ?

- Well, I...uh..... - Yes, yes, yes.

I understand your embarrassment and I will help with your confusion.

But any sort of meeting involving sword or pistol

is simply not possible.

The Church condemns duelling and forbids it.

Don't give it a thought.

If that window had been opened...

and passing in the street I noticed you in my house ?

That's one solution, but I'd advise against it.

Why ?

You'd be thought to be crazy, as it would be highly unlikely.

And suppose she admits ...

Consider the ridicule that would be heaped on you.

On you too.

It's quite different for me my child.

I have no particular home, no links of any kind.

I can change my name, city, country even.

We have our colonies, don't we... wonderful opportunities out there,

favourable to our business.

Do you know Latin ?

Not at all.

I don't wish to contradict you, but...

You're on the wrong track, my child.

Only one question matters : do you believe ?

No, I don't BELIEVE... I KNOW FOR SURE !

- I saw you screwing... - No...

Yes !

I was asking if you believed in God.

If I believe in God ? Yes.

That is most important.

for it is HE who gives you the strength

to carry the burden of this trial.

Consider what is happening to you as a humiliation

or a warning.

You gotta be joking !

I'm not one to be joking,

but control your temper. That's the sign of a better type of person.

Why has Heaven chosen me ? Why does he want

this affair to be here ?

I'll end up believing it.

As a matter of fact, it goes on and on. Something special's in store for me.

Either as a king, or as my double.

And as icing on the cake, fate serves me up

with a cardinal.

What more can happen ?

Do not ask, my son... keep it as a surprise.

I believe you've been married three times.

- And betrayed... - Three times.

And each time... unable to take revenge.

So don't hesitate my son.

Examine your conscience.

Is there nothing for you to reproach yourself for ?

Search carefully.

This business trip to Paris,

was there no other purpose

that you hid from your partner ?

- How do you know ? - I don't know anything.

Let's suppose your wife found out about your two-timing,

and wanted revenge.

That changes everything. The adventure takes on a whole new aspect.

Our laws have established the concept of self-defence.

A papal edict

of Pope Gregory Vll ...

One of the most beautiful edicts ever...

authorises that a crime is absolved

when it is in the form of retaliation.

I can see clearly now.

Let me retain the active role that I've had to take here.

Leave it to me to sort things out.

Tell me why, having left, that you came back ?

I'd missed my train.

No one misses his train.

- Is there another one ? - Yes at 11.57.

- You have to catch it. - Oh ?

And you have to stay in Paris for four days.

"Four days" ?

4 or 5, to allow you both to calm down.

4 or 5 days ?

Or 7 or 8.

And you believe that...

If I BELIEVE ?

She'll go along with it ?

Oh, after what she's done...

It would be nice to see. Come on!

You're staying in Monaco ?

I'm on tour.

"On tour" ?

An inspection tour of the whole diocese.

I leave tomorrow.

So, after all that... that's it ?

Oh, yes !

We have a paradox.

It doesn't allow for a logical outcome.

So who's going to tell her

I'll be spending 8 days in Paris ?

- Would you like me to ? - Coming from a man like you...

Only...don't stay with her after you tell her.

You'll go on and on about it and make things worse.

Make a fresh start.

Let's agree on that.

And if I took her to see "Primerose" ?

That's exactly what not to do.

Don't encourage her with additional pleasures.

Leave her to her remorse, though overlook her fault.

That can only raise you in her estimation.

That's the end of it.

Madame...

Madame, before leaving for several days...

your husband wishes to pay his respects.

Goodbye, Th�r�se. Goodbye, my friend.

Goodbye my child. Goodbye father.

Kiss it.

- Kiss it. - Wha...?

Kiss my ring.

Please forgive me, but a pious duty calls.

Come, my son, let us leave together.

Off we go.

I'll be back after the second act.

Subtitles - FatPlank [RLB] for KG.