Original subtitles

Ahhh!

Please stop!

"Nice Shower Best Friend Killer: Amicide Who Had an 'Accident'"

Screw this game! I'm never playing again!

I didn't pee myself in real life...

"Kiwame Quest"

It's the same thing all over again!

"The Only One to Beat the Game"

The district track meet was held soon after I entered high school.

So that's Hiroshi Yuki.

He was quite fast in middle school.

I heard he's the track team's ace runner.

Do your best, Brother.

I will. I've got this!

Your brother's so cool!

Yeah, he is.

I better not embarrass myself.

Hiro.

Hey.

It's almost time.

Yep.

Well? Do you feel nervous?

Don't be ridiculous! It's just the district meet.

Don't get complacent.

Looks like Moriguchi is competing, too.

Moriguchi? Oh, Tatsuya Moriguchi.

He always ranked high in middle school.

I seem to remember he beat you once.

Not to mention there are scouts here today.

Scouts?

At a low-level meet like this?

It's the first high school track meet.

An assortment of high schools and Inter High organizations are watching.

It's definitely an important event.

Well, I suppose you have a point.

Later.

Yeah.

Moriguchi...

Calm your nerves. Relax.

Better use the bathroom now.

Huh?

Where is it?

Hey.

Are you Hiroshi Yuki?

Yes, I am.

Might I have a moment of your time?

A-Aren't you the famous runner Mike McLachlan?!

Yes, though I'm retired from competition now.

Olympic silver medalist and Japanophile Mike McLachlan...

I'd heard he'd become a sports writer, but...

For real? This is crazy!

Hiroshi Yuki, middle-school track ace.

I hear you beat district records in short-distance running.

Y-You know all that?

Many promising athletes, such as you and Tatsuya Moriguchi, are at this track meet.

I suspect a star of the track world will be born here.

Hiroshi, show me your best out there!

I have high hopes for you!

I-I'll run my best out there!

"Seishin High School"

"Seishin High School"

I accidentally talked like him.

"Seishin High School"

And I forgot to use the bathroom...

Competitors for the Boys' 100-Meter Dash, go to your lanes.

Whoa, it's Tatsuya Moriguchi!

And there's Hiroshi Yuki! Incredible!

"Kyushin High School" "Seishin High School"

"Kyushin High School" "Seishin High School"

You seem relaxed, Yuki.

You may not know, but Olympic medalist McLachlan is here.

I know.

Hmph. You know and that's your attitude.

I just need to run like I always do.

Running a good time here will catch his eye and result in an article.

I'm absolutely determined to win.

I'm determined, too.

On your marks!

Everyone is watching.

There are even scouts.

Bring it!

I'll beat you and stun everyone with my time!

Get set!

Yuki! Break six seconds!

Don't be ridiculous! That'd beat the world record!

Wh-What am I doing?

Shit! Reach deep!

Shit! Shit! Shit!

I can do this!

Yuki tripped!

For real?

Hiro!

Are you okay?

I-I'm o--

No way!

He wet himself?

Oh my!

He was running down the track. Now it's running down his leg!

Hiro...

Wh-Why don't you head to the bathroom?

I just wanna die.

U-Um, hey, don't let it get to you.

Everyone messes up.

Leave me alone.

What I mean is, it'll be okay.

It's not a big deal. You can just do your best next time.

Shut up.

There won't be a next time!

Mr. McLachlan?

That was awful.

W-Wait!

Hear me out.

That wasn't my best.

Normally I can perform--

You don't know a thing, do you?

Did you pee on purpose?

Of course not!

So then your nerves got to you?

It would have been better if it had been intentional.

What?

How so?

A runner's mental strength is key.

Being unable to perform under pressure is a fatal flaw.

But your problem is even worse than that, Hiroshi.

Wh-What do you mean?

You can't figure it out?

I'll leave you with this Japanese saying I learned recently:

Look inward and have a change of pants.

There's no such saying, dammit!

What is it?

You were shouting last night. Was it the full-dive RPG again?

I wasn't playing it late at night.

It's still a bunch of noise. I can't concentrate on schoolwork.

Like you don't make a bunch of noise with your friends.

Wh-What's your problem?!

Kaede, Hiroshi. Both of you calm down.

But he screams in the middle of the night! Like a werewolf!

That's some way to talk about your older brother.

I'd prefer a werewolf!

Howling would be way less disturbing

compared to your "Eek!" and "Eep!"

Y-You don't have to be worry anymore.

I quit that game.

Come again? What do you mean, you quit?

It's an unbelievably shitty game. I'm selling it.

A blatant excuse.

You just don't think you can beat it.

That's not--

Lame.

Pathetic.

Excuse me?

What gives? You wanted me to quit!

This is a completely different issue!

You threw in the towel on running and took up full-dive RPGs,

and to top it off you even abandon that!

You're just pathetic!

You called me pathetic again!

I'm going to school.

Be careful of cars!

Dammit! What's her problem?!

She wants you to keep being her cool big brother, Hiroshi.

That's the reason?

She was bragging to her classmates about you, after all.

And when was that?

Oh, Hiro!

Listen, we have a little favor to ask. What do ya say?

Satisfied?

Eh?

Huh? What?

We didn't ask yet.

Hiro, are you sure? They--

It's fine. Drop it.

Hey, Yuki!

About your post-graduation plans. Do you have--

Working on it. I need a little more time.

Like, how many more days?

Yes.

Hiro? What gives? This is the seventh time I've called today!

Sorry. I was at school.

Can you come to the shop? I have something to show you.

Fine. I was actually planning to drop by anyway.

"Games" "Game Shop Kisaragi"

Stay as long as you like. I already closed for the day.

So the thing I want to show you is--

First things first.

Here.

Yes, KQ.

I want to sell it.

You and your jokes.

It's not a joke.

You're such a kidder!

I'm serious.

Really? Could you tell me the reason?

The reason? Don't you know the reason?!

I mean, it was just getting good, so...

"Getting good"?

What the hell are you talking about?!

I was made a criminal, and then I got haunted,

and to top it all off, I had an a-a-accident!

None of that was good!

I'm sorry.

"Amicide Who Had an 'Accident'," was it?

That title was a first for me.

It was a first for me, too!

Don't get so upset.

I mean, the inquisitor girl was really happy.

What good does it do me to raise my approval rating with her?!

Maybe she'll join your party?

Yeah, no thanks!

Enough.

I'll go somewhere else.

I wouldn't do that. Not if you want any money for it.

Huh? What do you mean?

Don't you know?

When you try to sell a bike with 200,000 kilometers on it,

you end up paying them to take it off your hands.

Then why did you sell it at full price?

I'm sorry. I can't get into that just yet.

But,

have you heard of Soichiro Kamui?

Never heard of him.

He's a young member of the Tokyo Metropolitan Assembly.

He was a very skilled full-dive RPG player.

It's embarrassing to admit, but in high school I was wild about full-dive RPGs.

A particular game made a tremendous impact on my life.

Now that's surprising.

What kind of game was it?

It was a hard-core full-dive RPG that pursued ultimate realism.

Soichiro Kamui.

His KQ username is Kamui.

You mean...

His name was Kamui.

His title was "The Eternally Invincible: The Never-Bested Adventurer."

...the guy who supposedly beat KQ?

Yes. Kamui is the only one to beat this crap--I mean KQ.

What did you just say?

He's the only person publicly acknowledged to have beaten KQ.

Not that! Didn't you call it a crappy game?

Anyway, I would've preferred for you clear it on your own,

but this is better than you totally losing interest.

Clean out your eyes and look.

You clean out ears, not eyes...

"Auberdine Walkthrough"?

Kamui made this walkthrough site for KQ in high school.

Ahuh...

I see you're brimming with curiosity!

You do? How?

You wanna know what it says now, right?

Yeah, you do! So go ahead!

Click! Where it says, "Enter"!

Okay.

"To start"

Wait, even with this walkthrough, nobody else beat the game?

Wait, even with this walkthrough, nobody else beat the game?

Nope. Because the vast majority of users couldn't read through it.

Like the writing was too dense and difficult?

A text site, huh...

In this day and age?

Hey, trash!

Huh?

Hey, trash!

Trash players who need a guide to win should just die.

You know what, die. Die right now.

See?

Tough to confront, right?

You meant they couldn't handle it emotionally?!

Kamui was an insufferable shithead back then.

Well, just grit your teeth and bear it.

I don't wanna read it that badly...

Wait! You want this info for free?

Pay up, asshole!

What? You can't?

You broke bitch.

Don't take me for granted.

Bow down and listen gratefully, you worm!

This is infuriating!

I have brains and brawn, while you turds are garbage.

First train your flabby body.

Three sets of 500 push-ups and sit-ups a day.

Run five kilometers. And buy dumbbells.

Go to the gym.

Fat chance!

Yeah, the game reflects real-life ability, but this crap isn't walkthrough info!

Okay, trash. What describes you now?

"I wanna defeat a goblin" "I wanna date my childhood friend" "My childhood friend is trying to kill me"

Okay, trash. What describes you now?

Okay, trash. What describes you now?

"My childhood friend is trying to kill me"!

Th-That's it!

Hey, psycho bastard.

Nobody's childhood friend would want to kill them.

Which means you're human trash.

How did your life get here?

This hurts!

Listen up. Upon becoming Hell's Fruit Slicer,

the childhood friend's stats increase more than 10-fold.

If you don't have martial arts experience like me, you're toast.

Just let her kill you.

What the hell?! Where's the actual walkthrough?

So I'd like to say. But there is a trick.

Fighting won't work. So figure out how to win without fighting.

Put simply,

if you were some dude's childhood friend, what would throw you off the most?

That's all you get, worm.

Well? Did it help?

No, not one bit.

Oh, he covers this, too.

"The ghost of my best friend has my dumb ass at my wits end."

Th-This is it! But I'm no dumbass!

Don't freak out over a simple ghost, wuss!

I mean, you're the one that killed the guy. That's what you get.

Take him with you.

That's all. Die.

That's no help at all!

What about this?

"I'm in the beginning and have no weapons"

What about this?

"I'm in the beginning and have no weapons"

"Weapons"... Yes, please!

"Weapons"... Yes, please!

What are you doing?

Trying to fight bare-handed or something?

You think you're a karate master?

There was a sword in the corner of your room, baldy!

I'm not bald, dude!

Wait, there was?

I rushed out so I never noticed...

Get some items, too!

I bet your dumb ass thinks you can buy them any time.

But items can sell out!

Buy some ASAP. Got that, dumbass?

For real. Die, dumbass.

Oh, shut up already!

And how does the item shop sell out?

Hey.

Uh, um...

Isn't this great, Hiro?

Now you can advance in KQ.

I-I haven't decided to play...

You know what? If someone besides Kamui clears the game...

I'd like to marry them.

What?

I'd like to.

No, no. I will.

In other words, I'd also date them as a precursor.

Hiro, I might just like you quite a bit.

L-Like me?

No, no. Hold up. This is...

I-I won't be fooled!

Oh, I see.

You don't want to do it with me...

W-Well, when you put it that way...

You'll do it... with me?

Y-Yes!

Then you'll need to go home and log in.

And of course I have to continue from here.

Come on! Tesla, Captain of the City Guard is waiting!

Come with me!

But keep your distance.

Hiro...

I-If you like,

we could resume the limb severing later.

Absolutely not!

Then let me at least have these sheets.

For what?

I'll carry them with me so I can feel my wonderful bedwetter at any time.

Please stop saying that.

Now, now. Let's just keep moving.

B-But...

Let's just go.

A lot of time was wasted persuading you.

What? "Wasted"?

Quit dawdling!

All right! I heard you!

Hurry it up!

I'll see you again, my wonderful bedwetter!

Stop calling me that!

I'm playing this stupid game again.

I may well be a dumbass who should just die, just like Kamui says.

Episode 5: The Tribulation of a Killer.