Original subtitles

- HEY, DARIA. I DIDN'T SEE YOU TODAY.

YOU SAID YOU MIGHT COME

TO THE PHOTOGRAPHY MEETING FOR YEARBOOK.

- YES, WELL, WHEN THE DENTIST TURNED OFF THE GAS,

I HAD A CHANGE OF HEART.

- BUT IT'S FUN,

AND IT LOOKS GOOD ON YOUR TRANSCRIPT.

- I'M AGAINST BOTH THOSE THINGS.

- FREE FILM AND DEVELOPING. - MM-HMM.

- AND IF YOUR PARENTS FIND OUT YOU'RE EVEN CONSIDERING IT,

YOU COULD PROBABLY SQUEEZE

SOME TREMENDOUS BRIBE OUT OF 'EM.

- I'LL THINK ABOUT IT.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TRYING TO BRIBE ME... WITH SINGLES.

- SWEETIE, IT'S NOT A BRIBE.

IT'S A DEAL.

HONESTLY, YOU'RE WORSE THAN MY CLIENTS.

- I'M SORRY.

YEARBOOKS COMPLETELY DISTORT THE REALITY OF HIGH SCHOOL.

OF COURSE, THE YEARBOOK EXPERIENCE

COULD PROVIDE MATERIAL FOR A WEB PAGE...

IF I HAD THE SOFTWARE.

- SOFTWARE IT IS.

- HI. BIG DATE. CAN'T TALK. BYE.

- HEY, DARIA, RIGHT?

I'M TED, THE PHOTO EDITOR. I SAW YOUR PICTURES.

- THEN CUT THE SMALL TALK AND GET STRAIGHT TO FIRING ME.

THAT'S FUNNY

BECAUSE IT'S THE EXACT OPPOSITE OF THE TRUTH, RIGHT?

YOU'RE USING SARCASM, AREN'T YOU?

- ACTUALLY, I WAS BEING SINCERE FOR ONCE.

WHAT PLANET ARE YOU FROM?

PLANET?

HEY, HYPERBOLE. VERY INTERESTING.

SERIOUSLY, THOUGH, I LOVED YOUR PHOTOS.

YOUR COMPOSITIONS SEEM VERY SPANISH,

NOT UNLIKE THE PEASANT PAINTINGS OF FRANCISCO GOYA.

I'M A HUGE GOYA FANATIC. YOU?

- UH, YEAH. HUGE.

- ACTUALLY, GOYA LIKED TO PAINT DEATH, DESTRUCTION, BRUTALITY.

YOU'D HAVE MADE GOOD PEN PALS.

- AND THE INTERESTING PART IS THAT HE'S NEVER BEEN TO SCHOOL.

HIS PARENTS HAVE TAUGHT HIM AT HOME UNTIL NOW.

ISN'T THAT KIND OF COOL? - I JUDGE THINGS BY RESULTS.

SO I WOULD HAVE TO SAY... NO.

- HEY, SARCASM. YOU TWO WOULD GET ALONG.

- IF HE MAKES YOU JOIN HIS CULT,

CAN I HAVE YOUR WEB PAGE SOFTWARE?

- HE DOESN'T BELONG TO A CULT.

AND THE SHRINK-WRAP NEVER COMES OFF THAT SOFTWARE.

SOON AS I GET IT, I'M EXCHANGING IT

FOR CANNIBAL FRAG FEST ON CD-ROM.

- COMPUTER ULTRAVIOLENCE.

GOYA WOULD'VE LOVED THAT.

- WELL, SINCE YOU ASK, I WAS KIND OF TRYING TO GET

A HIGH CONTRAST OF LIGHT AND DARK.

- NEAT. YOU MUST READ A LOT OF OVID.

I READ ORPHEUS IN THE UNDERWORLD WHEN I WAS SIX,

AND IT STILL HAUNTS ME.

- UH, YEAH. ME TOO.

- YOU KNOW, I HAD TO TALK MY PARENTS

INTO LETTING ME GO TO A NORMAL SCHOOL.

- WHEN DO YOU START? - IRONY.

BUT I LIKE HERE.

I ONLY WISH THAT VOLUNTEERING OR CHARITY FUNDRAISING

GOT AS MUCH YEARBOOK SPACE AS SPORTS AND CLUBS.

COME ON.

MR. DEMARTINO?

DARIA AND I WERE JUST SAYING

THAT THERE ARE SOME STUDENTS AT SCHOOL

WHO ARE REALLY MAKING A DIFFERENCE,

AND MAYBE WE'RE SHORTCHANGING THEM

A LITTLE BIT IN THE YEARBOOK.

- HOW NOBLE.

PERHAPS YOU THINK WE SHOULD CUT SOME PAGES

FROM SPORTS AND CLUBS TO MAKE MORE ROOM?

- HEY, GOOD IDEA, SIR.

- LET ME PAUSE AND REFLECT.

EVERYONE, SPORTS AND CLUBS ARE CUT BY TEN PAGES.

- YOU CAN'T DO THAT. - BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR.

- HAH! NOT MY IDEA.

YOU'VE BEEN SABOTAGED BY YOUR OWN KIND.

THEY THOUGHT OF IT.

- THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT.

- HELLO. - HELLO, TRAITOR.

- IT'S A NICE DAY, ISN'T IT? FOR A TRAITOR!

- HOW CAN I BETRAY SOMETHING I DON'T BELIEVE IN?

- IN CASE YOU DIDN'T KNOW,

SPORTS ARE, LIKE, THE BEATING HEART

OF THE YEARBOOK, UM, SYSTEM.

- YEAH, PLUS, IT'S, LIKE, GETTING IN THE YEARBOOK

IS THE ONLY REASON TO JOIN FRENCH CLUB

IN THE FIRST PLACE.

- GEE, BRITTANY, WHAT ABOUT YOUR DEEP LOVE

FOR THE FRENCH PEOPLE AND THEIR CULTURE?

- LOVE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT.

HE WAS JUST A LONELY EXCHANGE STUDENT,

AND I WANTED TO GIVE HIM AN AMERICAN GOOD-BYE.

Both: HUH? - SORRY.

THIS YEARBOOK CRISIS IS JUST MESSING ME UP.

- IT'S ALL RIGHT, BABE.

SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE? TRAITOR.

- IT'S TOTALLY RUDE.

- COMPLETELY HEINOUS.

- IT'S LIKE THIS GIRL DARIA DOESN'T UNDERSTAND REASON

OR SOMETHING.

- WELL, I HEAR SHE'S A BRAIN.

YOU CAN'T REASON WITH BRAINS.

- I'M STILL GONNA TALK TO HER.

AS PRESIDENT OF THE FASHION CLUB,

I CAN BE KIND OF INTIMIDATING.

- OH, YOU'RE DEFINITELY SCARY, SANDI.

BUT I THINK THIS IS A SPECIAL CASE,

SO LET ME TALK TO HER.

IT WOULD MEAN SO MUCH IF YOU'D LET ME TRY.

- YOU'RE THE BEST. - NO, YOU.

BUT YOU CAN'T BE SERIOUS ABOUT THIS.

- LISTEN, TED HAS A POINT.

- AHA! IT'S THAT BOY.

SO IT'S ALL ABOUT LOVE, IS IT?

- IT IS NOT ABOUT LOVE.

- ALL RIGHT, KEEP IT YOUR SECRET TO CHERISH ALWAYS,

BUT JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GOING OUT...

- TED AND I ARE NOT GOING OUT.

- WHATEVER.

JUST TELL LOVER BOY WE WANT OUR YEARBOOK BACK.

- DID YOU HEAR THAT?

YOU JUST USED THE VERB "WANT" WITH THE NOUN "BOOK."

- SAVE THE MATH GAMES FOR YOUR BOYFRIEND.

- GOSH, I'M GLAD YOU COULD COME OVER.

DID YOU HAVE ANY TROUBLE FINDING IT?

- THE CORN GROWING IN YOUR FRONT YARD

SORT OF TIPPED ME OFF.

- YEAH. WE KEEP THE SQUASH AND BEANS IN THE BACK.

I'VE GOT ALL THESE PHOTO IDEAS I WANT TO TELL YOU ABOUT.

I THINK A W.P.A. BLACK-AND-WHITE DUST-BOWL DOCUMENTARY STYLE

WOULD BE PERFECT.

- UM, YEAH. HEY, WHAT'S THIS?

- OH. THAT'S THE PHONOGRAPH MY DAD AND I MADE.

AND FROM WHAT I'VE HEARD ABOUT TELEVISION,

THIS IS JUST AS GOOD.

HEY, I HAVE SOME EARLY MUSIC PLAYED ON PERIOD INSTRUMENTS.

YOU FEEL LIKE YOU'RE RIGHT THERE IN FRONT OF THE VIOLA DA GAMBA.

- ACTUALLY, TED, MAYBE JUST QUIET.

THIS COUCH IS ALL WOOD.

YOU AND YOUR DAD MADE IT, DIDN'T YOU?

- GEORGIA PINE. VERY SOFT.

- OKAY, THAT DOES IT.

I'M SORRY, TED. I CAN'T KEEP UP WITH YOU.

- KEEP UP? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU'RE THE REMARKABLE ONE. - OH.

- I MEAN, PLEASE DON'T TAKE THIS WRONG,

BUT YOU'VE GOT IT ALL.

- UM, THANKS.

HERE, WANT SOME GUM?

- MMM.

- I GUESS WHEN ALL IS SAID AND DONE,

WE'RE JUST A COUPLE OF ORDINARY AMERICAN TEENAGERS, RIGHT?

TED?

- WOW! SO THIS IS GUM.

I LIKE IT.

MOM, DAD. GUM.

I GOT GUM!

- ♪ EXCUSE ME ♪

♪ EXCUSE ME ♪

♪ ♪

- MORGENDORFFERS?

- IF THIS IS FOR GREENPEACE, WE'VE ALREADY GIVEN.

- GREENPEACE? THOSE CORPORATE PUPPETS?

- DO WE KNOW YOU?

- LESLIE DEWITT. - GRANT CLINTON.

TED DEWITT-CLINTON'S PARENTS.

- SORRY, IS HE ONE OF THE BOYS

WHO WENT OUT WITH QUINN THE OTHER NIGHT?

- DOES THIS LOOK FAMILIAR?

- GUM? - YES, FROM YOUR DAUGHTER DARIA.

- WOULD YOU LIKE TO COME IN FOR A DRINK?

- ALCOHOL, I PRESUME.

WELL, NOW I SEE WHERE SHE GETS IT.

- I'LL MAKE A POT OF COFFEE. - COFFEE?

- I DON'T REALLY UNDERSTAND THE PROBLEM HERE.

- NATURALLY.

YOU PEOPLE ARE HAPPY CHEWING ON THE EMPTY OFFERINGS

OF SO-CALLED MODERN SOCIETY.

WE'D JUST APPRECIATE IT

IF YOU KEPT THEM AWAY FROM OUR SON'S MOUTH.

- NOW, LOOK, HERE, HIPPIE,

DARIA MAY BE A HANDFUL SOMETIMES,

BUT JUST BECAUSE SHE GAVE YOUR KID SOME GUM IS NO REASON...

- IT WASN'T JUST THE GUM. SHE ALSO GAVE HIM THIS.

THE BEATLES?

- WE'VE TRIED SO HARD,

AND NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE.

- WHO THE HELL IS THIS TED KID?

- AND WHAT'S HAPPENING TO OUR NEIGHBORHOOD?

FIRST, PEOPLE GROWING CORN. NOW THIS?

- WELL, MAYBE HE IS A LITTLE WEIRD,

BUT HE'S ALSO A LITTLE SWEET.

ISN'T THAT IMPORTANT?

- NOT AS IMPORTANT AS THE FACT THAT HE NEVER HAD GUM BEFORE.

THIS IS SO CUTE. YOU'RE INVOLVED WITH A KOOK.

- WE'RE NOT INVOLVED.

- HI, DARIA. I WAS LOOKING FOR YOU.

I CARVED YOU THIS NECKLACE AS THANKS FOR THE GUM.

- THAT'S BEAUTIFUL.

I GUESS SOMEBODY HERE IS INVOLVED.

- INVOLVED IN WHAT?

HEY, WHO WANTS SOME HUMMUS?

- I CAN'T TAKE THIS. KEEP IT.

- BUT I WANT YOU TO HAVE IT. I MADE IT.

- TED, I CAN'T TAKE IT.

WE WORK TOGETHER ON YEARBOOK.

WE DON'T MAKE JEWELRY FOR EACH OTHER.

- YOU AREN'T BEING SARCASTIC OR HYPERBOLIC, ARE YOU?

- NO. - OH.

THEN I GUESS I'LL SEE YOU AT YEARBOOK.

- UM, YOU DID THE RIGHT THING?

- YEAH, A GUY MAKES ME A NECKLACE BY HAND,

AND I ACT LIKE IT'S NUCLEAR WASTE.

SURE, I DID THE RIGHT THING.

- OKAY, NOW YOU'RE BEING SARCASTIC.

- WELL, WHY HAVEN'T WE HEARD ABOUT THIS BOY BEFORE?

- BECAUSE HE'S A FREAK. - "FREAK" IS GOOD, RIGHT?

- YEAH, IF YOU THINK BELONGING TO A CULT IS GOOD.

PLUS, EVERYBODY IN THE CULT HAS TO WEAR UGLY CLOTHES

AND BE COMPLETELY UNSOCIAL.

IT'S THE WORST. - A CULT?

WHO IS TED, AND WHY HAVEN'T YOU TOLD US ABOUT HIM?

AND IS HE TRYING TO GET YOU TO JOIN A CULT?

- OH, BROTHER. - HE CALLS HIMSELF "BROTHER"?

YOU MEAN, LIKE "BROTHER TED"? - NO.

LIKE, "OH, BROTHER, YOU'RE ALL CRAZY."

TED IS A NICE GUY FROM YEARBOOK.

HE'S ODD, BUT HE'S NOT IN A CULT.

AND FOR THE LAST TIME, WE ARE NOT GOING OUT.

- SHE'S OBVIOUSLY LYING. - ABSOLUTELY.

- NO QUESTION. - CAN'T YOU TALK TO HER, QUINN?

WHY DON'T YOU SET HER UP WITH ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS?

THEY'RE ALL NORMAL.

- YEAH, AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHY

THEY'D LAUGH ME OUT OF TOWN IF I TRIED.

- IF YOU DO, MOM AND I WILL MAKE IT SWEET FOR YOU.

- HOW SWEET?

- HOW DOES YOUR OWN WEB PAGE SOUND?

- NOT AS NICE AS THE CRUNCH, CRUNCH, CRUNCH SOUND

OF A NEW PAIR OF SHOES ON THE HIGH SCHOOL PARKING LOT.

- DEAL. QUINN, YOU'RE THE BEST.

- DUH.

- I DON'T UNDERSTAND

WHY WE SHOULD HELP SOME RANDOM LOSER FIND A DATE.

- NOW, THAT'S EXACTLY THE KIND OF NEGATIVE ATTITUDE THAT SAYS,

"I'M A FASHION NEWS READER AND NOT A FASHION NEWS MAKER."

- THANK YOU, SANDI.

- BUT WHO WILL WE GET TO BE HER DATE?

- ROBERT, YOU LIKE BEING ALLOWED

TO SIT AT THE OTHER END OF OUR TABLE, RIGHT?

- UH, YES, MA'AM.

- THEN I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT FOR YOU.

- YES, MA'AM!

- DO YOU THINK I WAS TOO MEAN TO TED?

- OH, BROTHER. - HE'S NOT A BROTHER.

AND HE'S NOT IN A CULT.

HE'S JUST VERY HONEST AND ETHICAL AND SMART,

AND I SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO MEAN.

- WHOA, YOU'RE REALLY INTO HIM, AREN'T YOU?

- NO.

BUT I DO LIKE THE WAY HE SCARES MY PARENTS.

- ARE YOU SURE ANNOYING YOUR PARENTS

IS GOOD GROUNDS FOR A RELATIONSHIP?

- IT WAS FOR ROMEO AND JULIET.

Thud!

- UM, TED, I THINK I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY.

YOUR NECKLACE WAS BEAUTIFUL,

AND I WAS A JERK FOR NOT TAKING IT.

- THAT'S OKAY. - REALLY? GOOD.

THEN I WAS HOPING YOU'D LET ME BUY YOU A SLICE OF PIZZA.

- TO BE HONEST, DARIA, I THINK MAYBE YOU WERE RIGHT.

WE SHOULD KEEP OUR FRIENDSHIP ON A STRICTLY YEARBOOK LEVEL.

- WAIT A MINUTE. ARE YOU BLOWING ME OFF?

- WELL, MY PARENTS WARNED ME THAT KIDS IN CONVENTIONAL SCHOOL

CAN BE KIND OF... SHALLOW.

- YOU THINK I'M SHALLOW?

- YOU SORT OF REMIND ME OF THAT REALLY POPULAR GIRL

I'VE SEEN AROUND... QUINN, I THINK.

DO YOU KNOW HER?

YOU'D PROBABLY GET ALONG.

NEXT ON SICK, SAD WORLD:

HOAX OR VISION?

SOME PEOPLE IN FLORIDA

CLAIM THEY'VE SEEN THE FACE OF JESUS... ON A PENNY!

- LOOK, WHEN YOU GET THROWN OFF A HORSE,

YOU HAVE TO GET BACK UP AND SHOOT IT, RIGHT?

- I GUESS SO.

- SO I KNOW THIS CUTE GUY WHO'S GOT A HUGE CRUSH ON YOU.

LET'S DOUBLE!

- ALL RIGHT, THIS IS EITHER A PLOT TO HUMILIATE ME,

OR YOU NEED ME TO GO SO I CAN DO SOMETHING FOR YOU.

- OKAY, OKAY. IT'S A TRICK.

IF YOU COME,

MOM AND DAD WILL EXTEND MY CURFEW BY A HALF AN HOUR.

PLUS, I'M DATING THIS GUY SHAWN WHO NEVER SHUTS UP.

I WANT SOMEONE ELSE THERE WHO CAN TALK.

- FORGET IT. - 10 BUCKS?

- PER HOUR. - YOU'RE ON.

- NO, I'VE CHANGED MY MIND.

- COME ON, DARIA!

YOU WANT MOM AND DAD TO SET YOU UP WITH SOMEBODY?

- OH, GOD.

- NOW, HURRY UP, AND GET READY.

I WANT TO GET TO THE SHOE STORE BEFORE IT CLOSES.

- SO WHAT EXACTLY ARE WE GONNA DO ON OUR DATE?

- WHAT? - QUIET, SHAWN.

WELL, DRIVE AROUND, GO TO A CONVENIENCE STORE, WHATEVER.

THE USUAL RANDOM TEENAGE SHENANIGANS.

ISN'T IT GREAT? TALK TO HER.

- UM, SO WHAT DO YOU THINK

OF U.N.-MANDATED EMISSIONS CONTROL LAWS

FOR THIRD WORLD COUNTRIES?

- NOBLE IDEA, BUT THE U.N.'S TIMETABLE IS UNREALISTIC.

HOW 'BOUT YOU? - UH, SAME.

AGREE OR DISAGREE:

TRADE EMBARGOS ARE AN EFFECTIVE WAY

TO DEAL WITH COUNTRIES THAT VI-O-LATE HUMAN RIGHTS?

- AGREE, BUT WITH MAJOR TRADING PARTNERS, LIKE CHINA,

OUR GOVERNMENT ALWAYS FINDS A LOOPHOLE.

YOU? - YEAH, SAME.

CAN SPORTS AND CLUBS GET THEIR PAGES

BACK IN THE YEARBOOK?

- OKAY, STOP THE CAR.

- WHAT? - QUIET, SHAWN.

WHY? YOU TWO ARE GETTING ALONG GREAT.

- I SHOULD'VE KNOWN THIS WASN'T A REAL DATE

WHEN ROBERT HERE KEPT CALLING ME "DARCY."

- SORRY, MA'AM. - AND "MA'AM."

YOU WERE TRYING TO BUY MY INFLUENCE WITH A DATE?

- THAT'S HOW WE DO IT IN AMERICA, COMRADE.

NICE WORK. - WHAT?

- QUIET, SHAWN. I MEANT BONEHEAD HERE.

- THE CARDS GOT MIXED UP.

- FROM NOW ON, YOU'LL HAVE TO FIND

A DIFFERENT TABLE AT LUNCH.

- FOR THE NEXT WEEK.

- THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

- WHAT?

♪ ♪

- THIS ONE'S GREAT.

YOU CAN REALLY FEEL THE PAIN.

BUT AREN'T THERE SUPPOSED TO BE SPOTTERS AT THE TRAMPOLINE?

- WELL, I DON'T THINK EVEN SPOTTERS

COULD'VE STOPPED THAT FALL.

ANYWAY, SHE'S FINE.

IN FACT, SHE FELL OFF THE UNEVEN BARS TODAY,

SO IT WAS CLEARLY HER OWN FAULT.

UH-OH. THE ANGRY VILLAGERS.

- WE WANT OUR RIGHTFUL YEARBOOK PAGES.

- IT'S NOT FAIR THAT A COUPLE OF OUTSIDERS

ARE DICTATING THE WAY YEARBOOK IS DONE.

- HEY, THESE TWO OUTSIDERS MADE A GOOD SUGGESTION.

AND IF IT'S A GOOD SUGGESTION, WHO CARES IF IT'S FAIR?

- STAND YOUR GROUND.

THEY CAN'T MAKE US GO.

- HEY, EVERYBODY, WHY DON'T WE POSTPONE THE SHOWDOWN

UNTIL AFTER THE SALE AT CASHMAN'S?

- NOT SO FAST.

I'M NOT LEAVING TILL I GET RESULTS.

- SHALL WE SETTLE IT WITH A GRIP CONTEST?

- WHAT'S THAT? OW!

THE GEEK'S HURTING ME.

UH, OH, OW!

- BABE! ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

- THAT'S IT. I'M TALKING TO THE UNION.

NEXT YEAR, CHESS CLUB.

- THAT WAS A GOOD TRICK.

- ISOMETRIC EXERCISES.

I'VE BEEN DOING THEM SINCE AGE TEN.

- TED, I'VE BEEN THINKING.

CAN WE BEND OUR YEARBOOK-ONLY POLICY

AND MAYBE GO OUT FOR SOME PIZZA?

- PIZZA SOUNDS GREAT. - REALLY?

- "PIZZA." WHAT'S IT MEAN?

I HATE TO SAY IT,

BUT I THINK I ENJOY THIS PROCESSED CHEESE.

WHAT KIND OF PROCESS DO THEY USE?

- IT'S A SUGARLESS VERSION

OF THE ONE FOR DING DONGS AND HOHOS.

DING DONGS AND HOHOS.

YOU'RE CRAZY.

I THINK THAT'S KIND OF WHY I LIKE YOU.

- I LIKE YOU TOO. THAT'S WHAT'S REALLY CRAZY.

- ANYWAY... - SO HOHOS...

SO TELL ME ABOUT 'EM. ARE THEY NAMED AFTER SANTA?

- AH, MS. BARCH.

- I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE CUTTING THE CLUB PICTURES

OUT OF THE YEARBOOK.

- WE'VE DECIDED TO SHIFT THE EMPHASIS AWAY FROM...

- OH, SAVE IT.

DO YOU KNOW WHO THE FACULTY ADVISOR

TO THE SCIENCE CLUB IS?

- UH...

- THE SAME PERSON WHO SPONSORS

THE "TAKE BACK THE NIGHT" LAWNDALE HIGH SCHOOL

WOMEN'S SELF-DEFENSE CLUB.

HUH-HAH!

BACK!

- SO WHAT DO DEGENERATE OUTSIDERS LIKE US

DO AFTER PIZZA?

- I THOUGHT MAYBE WE COULD PLAY SOME VIDEO GAMES AT THE ARCADE.

- OH, NO, I DON'T THINK SO.

GUM IS ONE THING, BUT... - THEY'RE HARMLESS.

BESIDES, IF YOU'RE DRAFTED, YOU NEED TO KNOW ABOUT THEM.

- I GUESS I AM A LITTLE CURIOUS.

- COME ON, DUDES.

LET'S GET OVER THERE. - WHY?

- SO WE CAN HASSLE THAT CHICK DARCY AND HER DATE.

- WHY?

- I CAN'T REMEMBER, BUT I THINK IT'S IMPORTANT.

CASTLE SCENARIO,

UNDERWATER PARADISE, FUTURISTIC DYSTOPIA?

- I GUESS THE CASTLE ONE.

- OKEYDOKE, BOSS.

- DARIA? - IT'S TOO MUCH, RIGHT?

I FEEL A LITTLE SICK MYSELF.

- IT'S NOT REALLY REPRESENTATIVE OF MEDIEVAL SOCIETY,

BUT I HAVE TO SAY

THIS IS THE COOLEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE.

- THOSE ARE SOME FRIENDS OF OURS.

CAN WE JOIN IN?

- THE ROYAL THRONE.

- GOOD, I NEED TO SIT DOWN.

- NOT SO FAST, WEIRDOES.

- ROBERT?

- THAT'S SIR ROBERT, DARCY.

- DARIA.

- HYAH!

- TED, WOW.

- I TAUGHT MYSELF FROM AN 11TH-CENTURY MANUSCRIPT

ON SWORDPLAY.

IT'S EASY. - NO WAY.

I'M NOT GOING OUT LIKE THIS.

COME ON.

- LET'S GO, DARIA. WE CAN CATCH THEM.

- THIS IS REALLY MAKING ME NAUSEOUS.

YOU GO AHEAD.

TED, THEY'RE GONNA CLOSE UP PRETTY SOON.

- THEY'LL HAVE TO PULL THE PLUG THEN.

WE STILL HAVE A LOT OF FIGHT LEFT, RIGHT, MEN?

All: AYE!

- IT'S MY OWN FAULT.

HE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO GO TO THE ARCADE.

FIRST DATE, STICK TO VANDALISM AND LOITERING.

BUT YOU ALWAYS HAVE TO BE DIFFERENT.

- HEADS UP.

- WHAT YOU WANT TO DO IS TAKE THE STRAIN OFF YOUR WRIST

AND USE MORE OF YOUR ELBOW, LIKE THIS.

- OH, YEAH. YOU GOTTA SHOW ME ON THE MACHINE.

MAYBE AFTER SCHOOL? - OKAY.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE WE MIGHT OBTAIN SOME GUM, DO YOU?

- BOYS PLAYING WITH SWORDS.

I THINK THAT PROBABLY HAS SOME SIGNIFICANCE.

- OH, WELL, AT LEAST WE'RE STILL FIGHTING

THE GOOD FIGHT AT YEARBOOK.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

- AH, DARIA, I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS

ABOUT THOSE PAGES WE TOOK FROM SPORTS AND CLUBS.

DOH! WOMAN!

- I HAVE TO TELL YOU SOMETHING. - YOU JOINED THE CULT?

- THERE'S NO CULT. I HAD TO RESIGN FROM YEARBOOK.

IT WAS A QUESTION OF ETHICS. - AGAIN?

- DON'T WORRY. SHE WAS ON STAFF FOR A WEEK.

SHE CAN STILL PUT IT ON HER COLLEGE APPLICATION.

- NO QUESTIONS ABOUT ETHICS HERE.

SO THEN I CAN KEEP THE WEB PAGE STUFF?

- ACTUALLY, WE GAVE IT TO QUINN.

- QUINN? DID SHE REMOVE THE SHRINK-WRAP?

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

YOU DID THIS YOURSELF? - OF COURSE NOT.

I HAD ONE OF THE CUTER TECHNICAL TYPES

FROM SCHOOL SET IT UP FOR ME.

- I HAD TO ASK.

- OH, SORRY IT DIDN'T WORK OUT WITH THAT TED GUY.

ISN'T FUNNY THAT NOW IT TURNS OUT

HE'S ALMOST SORT OF COOL AND INTERESTING?

- YEAH. HILARIOUS.

- HEY, CHECK IT OUT.

MY WEB PAGE HAS HAD 2,500 HITS IN JUST THE LAST THREE HOURS.

- REALLY? I CAN BEAT THAT.

- YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE A WEB PAGE.

- NO, BUT I CAN HIT. - OH!

OW! OW!

MOM! DAD! HELP!

- ♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

♪ ♪

♪ LA, LA, LA ♪

♪ ♪

♪ LA, LA, LA ♪

♪ ♪

♪ LA, LA, LA ♪

♪ ♪

♪ LA-LA, LA, LA-LA ♪

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