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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,117 [Upbeat instrumental music] 2 00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:15,071 INTERVIEWER: Why are you putting on this show? 3 00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,356 Basically, we're trying to raise money... 4 00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:21,480 for the Hollywood Area Home for Aging Animal Actors. 5 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:25,279 People forget about these animals when their careers dry up. 6 00:00:25,360 --> 00:00:28,239 Murray the dog has not worked since Mad About You. 7 00:00:28,320 --> 00:00:31,313 I swear I saw him panhandling outside the Petco. 8 00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,313 Yeah, we love the animals. 9 00:00:33,400 --> 00:00:37,189 The point is, we're doing an original rock musical... 10 00:00:37,320 --> 00:00:38,595 Diva 2K. 11 00:00:39,200 --> 00:00:42,955 We chose Diva 2K because it's hip. 12 00:00:43,040 --> 00:00:45,919 It's cool. And it really rocks. 13 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,038 Plus, we don't need a lot of sets. 14 00:00:48,120 --> 00:00:52,433 Right. But we do need professional help to get a little buzz going about the show. 15 00:00:52,520 --> 00:00:54,318 Generate a little heat. 16 00:00:55,880 --> 00:00:57,997 So, I got Marvin Dobbs. 17 00:00:58,080 --> 00:00:59,480 Who's Marvin Dobbs? 18 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:01,392 You're kidding, right? 19 00:01:01,880 --> 00:01:03,075 Marvin Dobbs. 20 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:09,274 Only one of the biggest producers in the business. 21 00:01:10,120 --> 00:01:13,079 I mean, he and Mel Gibson are like this. 22 00:01:13,520 --> 00:01:16,160 Why would Mr. Dobbs want to do our little benefit show? 23 00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:18,596 Because he loves animals. 24 00:01:19,400 --> 00:01:20,516 See. 25 00:01:20,960 --> 00:01:22,280 "I love animals. 26 00:01:22,360 --> 00:01:24,795 "Start casting. Marvin Dobbs, producer. 27 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:28,433 "PS: Mel wants to come. 28 00:01:28,520 --> 00:01:32,514 "He's scouting new faces for Lethal Weapon: The Next Generation." 29 00:01:33,000 --> 00:01:33,990 Wow! 30 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:35,759 With Marvin Dobbs producing... 31 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:39,072 Diva 2K will sell out faster than a Clippers game. 32 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:44,431 INTERVIEWER: Excuse me, this musical sounds interesting. Tell me about it. 33 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,160 Diva 2K is about a young rock star wannabe... 34 00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,755 and her poignant journey of self-discovery. 35 00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:52,036 Think Josie and the Pussycats... 36 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:54,120 meets Gandhi. 37 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,869 I brought some of the guys to sit in. Make a fuss. 38 00:01:57,960 --> 00:02:00,919 They just found out they were cut from Dr. Dolittle 2. 39 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,798 Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late. 40 00:02:02,880 --> 00:02:04,280 Chloe, what are you doing here? 41 00:02:04,360 --> 00:02:06,033 It's right here in this fax. 42 00:02:06,120 --> 00:02:08,077 I'm the new co-producer. 43 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,390 So you are. 44 00:02:09,480 --> 00:02:11,517 Here are the rewrites for Act 2. 45 00:02:11,600 --> 00:02:15,389 It needs more tension, action, more white-knuckle excitement. 46 00:02:15,520 --> 00:02:16,590 Clog dancing? 47 00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:19,639 No! This is a rock and roll show! 48 00:02:21,520 --> 00:02:25,594 It would raise our grade if we gave Miss Westmore a clog dancing scene. 49 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,319 Why stop with Miss Westmore? 50 00:02:27,400 --> 00:02:30,518 I mean, let's see if our biology teacher can play the spoons? 51 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,434 Actually, he can make himself fit into a golf bag. 52 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,754 [Theme song plays] 53 00:03:05,640 --> 00:03:07,757 [Upbeat instrumental music] 54 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:13,232 INTERVIEWER: Why are you waiting here to audition for the show? 55 00:03:13,320 --> 00:03:17,837 When I heard Marvin Dobbs was producing the H.A.H.A.A.A. Benefit... 56 00:03:17,920 --> 00:03:19,877 I was really excited. 57 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,158 I think I'm here for the same reason that everybody else is. 58 00:03:23,240 --> 00:03:26,551 And that's to help fund a literacy program for troubled young people. 59 00:03:26,640 --> 00:03:28,279 MACY: No, animals. 60 00:03:28,520 --> 00:03:30,159 It's for animals. 61 00:03:30,560 --> 00:03:33,155 A literacy program for animals? That's crazy! 62 00:03:33,520 --> 00:03:35,512 There is no literacy. 63 00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:39,914 You start teaching your pets how to read, pretty soon the dogs will be walking us. 64 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,998 It has nothing to do with literacy. 65 00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:45,152 We're here to care for and shelter the animals. 66 00:03:45,240 --> 00:03:46,959 Okay. All right. I see. 67 00:03:47,040 --> 00:03:50,351 You're saying, if the animals can read, they can get an education... 68 00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:52,432 and shelter themselves. That's cool. 69 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,598 [Upbeat rock song playing] 70 00:04:38,920 --> 00:04:40,513 I am now going to do... 71 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:43,832 a dramatic reading from a classic. 72 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,400 [Imitating the I love Lucy show] 73 00:04:45,480 --> 00:04:50,157 Lucy, you have some explaining to do. 74 00:04:50,240 --> 00:04:53,551 Come on, Ricky, let me have a number in this show. 75 00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:55,438 Lucy! 76 00:04:55,520 --> 00:04:57,432 [Imitating Lucy's wail] 77 00:04:59,840 --> 00:05:02,036 [Hip-hop dance music playing] 78 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:22,320 Who's next? 79 00:05:22,440 --> 00:05:24,272 You won't believe it. 80 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:27,476 Mom? 81 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:32,029 Where's Mr. Dobbs? 82 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:35,159 He'll be watching all the auditions on tape. 83 00:05:36,120 --> 00:05:38,396 Hi! Macy Carlson. 84 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:40,075 Big fan. 85 00:05:40,480 --> 00:05:41,630 Okay. 86 00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:46,034 I'm going to do a performance piece... 87 00:05:46,120 --> 00:05:49,352 to focus on the oft-forgotten... 88 00:05:49,440 --> 00:05:51,875 visually-challenged animal actors. 89 00:05:54,120 --> 00:05:56,157 [Singing a nursery rhyme] 90 00:06:06,040 --> 00:06:09,511 INTERVIEWER: I understand you're not a newcomer to show business. 91 00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:13,153 I was actually supposed to be the original finicky kid... 92 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,038 in those cereal commercials. 93 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:16,349 It was supposed to be: 94 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:19,160 "Go ask Jake. He hates everything." 95 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:22,234 But sure enough, on the day of the big shoot... 96 00:06:22,320 --> 00:06:23,800 my stand-in stage mother... 97 00:06:23,880 --> 00:06:26,156 weasels her way into the director's trailer... 98 00:06:26,240 --> 00:06:29,119 gives him a taste of her homemade cookies. 99 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,634 Suddenly, boom, I'm out. 100 00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,633 And the little cookie lady's son is a national treasure. 101 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:38,000 [Continues singing nursery rhyme] 102 00:06:58,560 --> 00:06:59,960 JAKE: You know, at the time... 103 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,431 I didn't know it was because the kid's mom was working all the angles. 104 00:07:03,520 --> 00:07:05,000 I thought it was me. 105 00:07:05,840 --> 00:07:06,990 Sorry. 106 00:07:07,560 --> 00:07:09,711 I lost my confidence. It really shook me. 107 00:07:09,800 --> 00:07:13,589 I started blowing auditions. The agent dropped me like that. 108 00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:17,552 All because his mom could bake, and mine couldn't. 109 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:20,631 So, my motto is: 110 00:07:20,840 --> 00:07:23,912 Talent can be delayed, but it cannot be denied. 111 00:07:45,280 --> 00:07:46,634 Thank you. 112 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:53,838 [Grunting] 113 00:08:00,160 --> 00:08:03,039 INTERVIEWER: Overall, were you happy with the auditions? 114 00:08:03,320 --> 00:08:05,551 Basically, it went pretty well. 115 00:08:05,720 --> 00:08:08,155 We saw a lot of great talent. 116 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:10,476 I just really think we're in good shape. 117 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:11,994 Are you out of your mind? 118 00:08:12,080 --> 00:08:13,958 What? Why? What are you talking about? 119 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:18,000 Have you forgotten that somebody has to tell Mom and Dad they bite the big one? 120 00:08:21,280 --> 00:08:23,397 [Upbeat instrumental music] 121 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:27,120 INTERVIEWER: Nice flowers. 122 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,034 Ha ve you heard who has the lead in the show? 123 00:08:30,120 --> 00:08:32,794 They are from Mr. Dobbs. Marvin. 124 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:38,116 He said, in a perfect world, I'd get the lead. 125 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:40,960 But this is a business. 126 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:43,271 So they have to go with a star. 127 00:08:44,040 --> 00:08:45,156 Which would have been me... 128 00:08:45,240 --> 00:08:49,439 if Cereal Boy's mom hadn't delivered those honey-dipped ladyfingers. 129 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:52,194 Jake, it's been 30 years. Get over it. 130 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,597 Anyway, the point is, I was the best. 131 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:01,836 But to sell tickets, you really need someone who is better known. 132 00:09:02,120 --> 00:09:03,554 And younger. 133 00:09:04,560 --> 00:09:05,835 Younger? 134 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:07,639 Yeah, she's supposed to be 19... 135 00:09:07,720 --> 00:09:11,077 which you could play brilliantly if you were famous. 136 00:09:12,920 --> 00:09:14,149 I wonder who they got. 137 00:09:14,760 --> 00:09:18,071 When I heard Marvin Dobbs wanted me for the part... 138 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:20,952 I just started crying. 139 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:24,794 I didn't even think he knew who I was. 140 00:09:25,600 --> 00:09:29,276 I've always dreamt of breaking into acting. 141 00:09:29,840 --> 00:09:32,719 So I got every book I could on the subject. 142 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:34,679 This one is good. 143 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:41,514 She really understands the challenge. 144 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,396 At first, I couldn't believe it. 145 00:09:46,600 --> 00:09:48,478 After not casting me in the show... 146 00:09:48,560 --> 00:09:52,440 Mr. Dobbs had the nerve to ask me to run the box office. 147 00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:56,072 Like I can be bought with a basket of muffins. 148 00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:58,194 But then I said to myself: 149 00:09:58,280 --> 00:10:02,069 "Manuelo, you have a screenplay to sell. 150 00:10:02,360 --> 00:10:06,832 "And Marvin Dobbs is the passport to Mel Gibson." 151 00:10:08,040 --> 00:10:09,918 Oh, look, lemon. 152 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:15,953 Anyway, Mr. Dobbs, Marvin... 153 00:10:16,120 --> 00:10:18,351 begged me to understudy the lead. 154 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:20,239 I thought you were doing the programs. 155 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:23,154 I am. But mostly, I'm the understudy. 156 00:10:23,560 --> 00:10:27,520 I know that Marvin is counting on me to coach the lead actress. 157 00:10:27,680 --> 00:10:29,990 You know, show her how it's done. 158 00:10:30,200 --> 00:10:34,672 I get to show her how it's done because I am the director. 159 00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:38,040 - I thought you were doing props. - I am. 160 00:10:38,120 --> 00:10:39,600 Props and directing. 161 00:10:41,280 --> 00:10:42,475 Action! 162 00:10:43,440 --> 00:10:44,999 You know, roll sound. 163 00:10:45,680 --> 00:10:47,751 Come on, we're losing light. Let's go! 164 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:52,396 The Subtleties of Character Development by Rob Schneider. 165 00:10:54,800 --> 00:10:57,076 LARRY: Look, I don't want you to worry. 166 00:10:57,160 --> 00:11:00,551 We're going to get you into a very nice petting zoo. 167 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,073 Please, no pictures. 168 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:04,310 Helga, baby, look... 169 00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:06,551 I'm so sorry. 170 00:11:07,520 --> 00:11:09,876 She hates to have you see her like this. 171 00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,997 Out of shape, out of work. 172 00:11:12,600 --> 00:11:14,319 She was a big star. 173 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:16,357 She worked with Mel in Bra veheart. 174 00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:18,830 You know, in the overturned cart. 175 00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:22,792 You know Babe, the movie? They were an item. 176 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:25,919 Broke her heart. 177 00:11:26,560 --> 00:11:27,789 The pig. 178 00:11:28,720 --> 00:11:31,599 I learned how to create my character's back-story... 179 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:35,071 from Conrad Bain's book, Get Check, Cash Check. 180 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:42,795 The script seems really complicated. 181 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:45,839 Not to worry. I directed a play back in college. 182 00:11:45,920 --> 00:11:49,357 - Three Degrees of Separation. - Isn't it Six Degrees? 183 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:51,200 Small school. 184 00:11:54,040 --> 00:11:55,599 I just got a memo. 185 00:11:55,680 --> 00:11:57,717 Mel Gibson wants tickets. 186 00:11:57,840 --> 00:11:59,274 Mel Gibson! 187 00:12:00,160 --> 00:12:02,356 But he is not telling me how many. 188 00:12:02,440 --> 00:12:05,478 Is he coming by himself? Is he bringing a guest? 189 00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:07,392 Is he going to bring the entourage? 190 00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:11,360 I need a number. This is plain inconsiderate. 191 00:12:11,440 --> 00:12:13,591 Who does he think he is? 192 00:12:13,680 --> 00:12:15,034 Mel Gibson! 193 00:12:16,280 --> 00:12:19,398 You don't understand. I have to talk to Mel Gibson. 194 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,075 I need to get a body count. 195 00:12:22,160 --> 00:12:25,392 If I don't get some answers, I cannot be responsible... 196 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,870 about what happens to his people. 197 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:31,590 They hung up. 198 00:12:31,680 --> 00:12:33,990 Gibson is gonna hear about this. 199 00:12:36,080 --> 00:12:38,549 INTERVIEWER: What is the best part about producing? 200 00:12:38,640 --> 00:12:40,279 Free doughnuts! Look! 201 00:12:41,120 --> 00:12:43,555 I got a big donation, plus all these doughnuts. 202 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,872 I love producing. You can get so much free stuff. 203 00:12:46,960 --> 00:12:49,680 All we have to do is rewrite the big church wedding... 204 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:52,514 so it takes place in AI's doughnut shop! 205 00:12:52,720 --> 00:12:54,996 You might recognize these guys. 206 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:58,511 Leeches number two, three, and five from Stand By Me. 207 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:01,156 They were on their way to stardom. 208 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:04,711 Until bad management and a certain adult home video... 209 00:13:04,920 --> 00:13:06,718 ruined their careers. 210 00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,760 Now they can't even get work on cable. 211 00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:15,234 I tell you, those bloodsucking agents ruined these leeches. 212 00:13:19,280 --> 00:13:21,590 MACY: Okay, let's go! 213 00:13:21,920 --> 00:13:23,036 JAKE: Macy. 214 00:13:24,920 --> 00:13:26,070 Sorry. 215 00:13:26,320 --> 00:13:27,720 JAKE: Okay, let's go! 216 00:13:28,120 --> 00:13:30,840 Come in and offer him the clam dip. 217 00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,832 Don't forget to hold the tray up higher. 218 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:34,400 Not that high. 219 00:13:35,400 --> 00:13:36,754 [Tedi clears her throat] 220 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,593 Excuse me, sir. 221 00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:40,672 She's in the wrong place. 222 00:13:40,760 --> 00:13:43,229 All right, we better give her a mark. 223 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:44,993 No, she's yellow. 224 00:13:48,160 --> 00:13:50,038 Okay, let's try it again. 225 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,151 Wait. Wait for "action." 226 00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:54,636 [Sighs] 227 00:13:54,720 --> 00:13:55,756 Okay? 228 00:13:56,240 --> 00:13:58,197 And act. 229 00:13:59,560 --> 00:14:02,394 - Excuse me-- - No! Don't look down! Show face. 230 00:14:02,480 --> 00:14:05,120 Yeah. And the tray was really too low. 231 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,795 Can I have one more piece of tape, please? 232 00:14:09,400 --> 00:14:12,074 Pull back, all the way over your mouth. 233 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:16,313 I'm outside the gate, and they won't let me in. 234 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:21,076 Will you please tell Mr. Gibson that this is Manny Del Valle... 235 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:23,117 and that I don't want to bother him. 236 00:14:23,200 --> 00:14:26,113 All I want to do is pick his seat. 237 00:14:27,640 --> 00:14:28,790 Hello? 238 00:14:29,400 --> 00:14:31,039 I lost the reception. 239 00:14:32,840 --> 00:14:36,277 TEDI: Dip clam me, sir, offer may some excuse you I? 240 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,159 JAKE: Macy, the tray is fine! Leave it alone! 241 00:14:43,360 --> 00:14:46,080 Larry, this play is the absolute worst! 242 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,517 The kids from school are coming! What am I going to do? 243 00:14:49,600 --> 00:14:50,716 Call Mr. Dobbs. 244 00:14:50,800 --> 00:14:53,474 I don't know if even Mr. Dobbs can help save this show. 245 00:14:53,560 --> 00:14:54,789 He's got to. 246 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:58,556 There are a bunch of leeches that are counting on you guys! 247 00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:03,794 Wait a minute. Where's number three? 248 00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:10,189 Help me. 249 00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,997 [Upbeat instrumental music] 250 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,878 Okay, we just got a fax from Mr. Dobbs. He wants us to fix Tedi's performance. 251 00:15:22,960 --> 00:15:26,920 That's what happens when you go with a celebrity instead of an actress. 252 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:31,438 I guess what we'll do is rewrite it in a way that we're just sure she never speaks. 253 00:15:31,520 --> 00:15:33,034 But she's the star. 254 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,796 But a star who doesn't speak, okay? 255 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:39,475 All we have to do is come up with a logical way... 256 00:15:39,560 --> 00:15:43,873 for her character to go from rags to riches without ever saying a word. 257 00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:49,479 INTERVIEWER: Have you had any success reaching Mr. Gibson? 258 00:15:50,080 --> 00:15:54,040 I am so over Mel Gibson and the trouble he's given me with these tickets... 259 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,715 that I would not let him direct my screenplay... 260 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,872 if he came to me begging. 261 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:02,599 This is Mel Gibson? 262 00:16:02,720 --> 00:16:05,679 Mr. Gibson, open the window. 263 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:07,353 Otherwise, Saturday night... 264 00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:11,275 all your people are going to be scattered everywhere. 265 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:14,274 Mr. Gibson? 266 00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:24,590 I look better in a kilt than you ever did, dude! 267 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,314 Okay, I got it. 268 00:16:35,400 --> 00:16:37,790 Maybe she's the love child of successful mimes? 269 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,476 That's crazy. There's no such thing as a successful mime. 270 00:16:41,720 --> 00:16:43,234 Okay, spit-ball with me here. 271 00:16:43,320 --> 00:16:47,280 She's a California girl, right? She loses her tongue in an earthquake. 272 00:16:47,360 --> 00:16:49,113 No, I've got it! 273 00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:52,233 She gets gangrene from a discount tongue studding. 274 00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,634 That is good. But I'm not seeing a happy ending here. 275 00:16:55,720 --> 00:16:58,599 It would be great if she loses her voice at the beginning... 276 00:16:58,680 --> 00:17:01,957 and gets it back at the very end for one last big dramatic line. 277 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:04,874 I've got it! Hysterical laryngitis! 278 00:17:05,120 --> 00:17:08,557 I like that a lot. But what's the trauma? 279 00:17:10,560 --> 00:17:13,359 The man that she loves backs over her cat! 280 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:17,392 No, it's an animal charity. We can't really go around killing cats. 281 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,791 Good point. The man that she loves backs over her father? 282 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:22,920 Okay. 283 00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:26,789 I just really hope that Tedi appreciates what we're doing for her. 284 00:17:31,080 --> 00:17:32,912 Hey, pull over, pal! 285 00:17:38,720 --> 00:17:40,234 What do you mean I don't talk? 286 00:17:40,320 --> 00:17:42,789 See, that's the beauty of it. You don't have to talk. 287 00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,714 The role isn't about words. It's about you. 288 00:17:45,800 --> 00:17:48,759 But how can I be a famous rock singer if I don't talk? 289 00:17:48,840 --> 00:17:51,355 You're gonna love this. You're no longer a rock singer. 290 00:17:51,440 --> 00:17:54,239 You're the first successful rock signer. 291 00:17:57,080 --> 00:18:00,994 - You get to wear this. - Pretty. 292 00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:06,239 And this T-shirt that says, "Eat At Moe's." He's catering the cast party! Free! 293 00:18:06,320 --> 00:18:10,109 "Eat at Moe's"? No! Dad, I'm not sure about this rewrite. 294 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:12,311 And was it Macy's idea that I don't talk? 295 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:15,552 - And where is Mom? - She's off doing the Leno Show. 296 00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:17,313 - Leno? - Yeah. 297 00:18:17,400 --> 00:18:19,790 Apparently, they heard about her Three Blind Mice. 298 00:18:19,880 --> 00:18:22,190 When Hanson dropped out, they called her to fill in. 299 00:18:22,280 --> 00:18:25,830 - Leno? - Yeah, I know. Cereal Boy all over again! 300 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:28,232 You know, I should be doing the Leno Show. 301 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:30,994 I should be doing Leno! I'm the star of the show! 302 00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:33,800 What show? This script makes no sense! 303 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:35,394 Hey, I was up all night! 304 00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,312 Yeah, writing me out! 305 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,880 [All arguing loudly] 306 00:18:38,960 --> 00:18:41,475 TEDI: I wanna be on Leno. 307 00:18:41,760 --> 00:18:42,955 Quiet! 308 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,879 You people disgust me. 309 00:18:44,960 --> 00:18:46,599 This isn't about you. 310 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:50,310 This is about Old Yeller, and Flipper and Morris, and Lassie. 311 00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,040 Is Turner going to pay for Hooch's hip replacement? 312 00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,554 I think not. 313 00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,110 And Buck the dog. 314 00:18:56,200 --> 00:19:00,114 He died homeless because his agent got him net points instead of gross. 315 00:19:00,720 --> 00:19:02,040 These animals need you. 316 00:19:02,120 --> 00:19:05,318 But you guys are too busy arguing to help them out. 317 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,560 Larry's right. 318 00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,996 Can't we all just get along? 319 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,796 JAKE: This is crazy, come on. GIRLS: I'm sorry. 320 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,550 INTERVIEWER: Congratulations on last night's show. 321 00:19:19,640 --> 00:19:21,632 It was such an amazing night. 322 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:23,677 Though I did think we were in big trouble... 323 00:19:23,760 --> 00:19:27,754 when Ben Stein and Brad Pitt passed on the part for the Diva's boyfriend. 324 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:31,078 Fortunately, Dad was right there to step in. 325 00:19:31,280 --> 00:19:33,954 Step in. More like fell in. 326 00:19:34,640 --> 00:19:37,280 So what? People loved the show. 327 00:19:37,680 --> 00:19:40,559 Said it was better than An Evening with Free Willy. 328 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,156 Best of all, we made a ton of money. 329 00:19:43,240 --> 00:19:47,120 That means flea dips, pet doors, and litter boxes for everyone. 330 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,359 Plus, we still have all these free doughnuts left. 331 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:52,636 And I also have my own table at Moe's. 332 00:19:52,720 --> 00:19:55,076 And Mel Gibson actually did come to the show. 333 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:58,437 Until he saw Manuelo and ran screaming from the theater. 334 00:19:59,600 --> 00:20:01,353 You know what I don't get though? 335 00:20:01,440 --> 00:20:04,433 How come our big-time producer, Marvin Dobbs, never showed up? 336 00:20:04,520 --> 00:20:06,432 About Mr. Dobbs.... 337 00:20:07,880 --> 00:20:10,190 Riley, do you wanna explain this one? 338 00:20:12,280 --> 00:20:13,919 Thing of it is... 339 00:20:15,200 --> 00:20:16,919 there is no Mr. Dobbs. 340 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,756 He doesn't exist. We made him up. 341 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:24,720 It was the only way we could get people to participate in doing the show. 342 00:20:24,800 --> 00:20:26,029 Yeah, I mean... 343 00:20:26,120 --> 00:20:28,999 how else could we get grownups to do what we want? 344 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,115 Yeah, and no one got hurt. 345 00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:35,316 Yeah, we have the suspect in custody now. 346 00:20:35,400 --> 00:20:37,835 This is a mistake, I tell you. 347 00:20:39,960 --> 00:20:42,759 Please call Marvin Dobbs. 348 00:20:42,840 --> 00:20:44,832 He'll explain everything. 349 00:20:44,920 --> 00:20:46,673 Help me! 350 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:57,237 [Upbeat instrumental music] 351 00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:00,674 [Theme song plays] 352 00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,956 SDH subtitles conformed by SOFTITLER 353 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:29,076 English - SDH 27120

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