Original subtitles

Wait. I'm not ready.

- You've seen it 14 times. - Okay, 15.

I think the story of two waitresses...

running their own restaurant in the outback, is way empowering.

Dog Face Girls is my new favorite movie.

I love the dancing.

It was so cool how they spun on the bar counter-clockwise.

You know what? Before we watch the whole thing...

- let's go straight to the dancing part. - Okay.

[Big Star Machine by Superchick playing]

Wait.

How does he slide like that?

You need momentum.

I'll show you momentum.

MACY: Girls, what's going on down there?

- Nothing. - Nothing.

This was the dumbest, most ridiculous, most stupid thing we've ever done.

It's not our fault. I blame the media.

You're right.

Okay, I've heard of casual Friday, but rock 'n' roll Monday?

What's going on?

Oh, Mark...

all my friends thought you were really cute.

But it doesn't really matter what they think.

What matters is what I think.

Maybe Tanya knows what's going on.

And she'd really tell us?

Okay, just because she's a senior doesn't mean she's gonna blow us off.

Come on.

Gee, Mark, I'm already going to a party in Santa Barbara on Saturday, but...

like, Friday's open.

Dinner at House of Blues?

We were just wondering if you knew why people were dressed...

like that today.

Yeah? Well, there's this War of the Bands thing Saturday.

Everyone's, like, signing up.

[Cell phone ringing]

Hello?

Hi, Jordan. How's rehab going?

War of the Bands?

Like, go!

Like, drop dead.

War of the Bands?

Maybe we should sign up.

To do what?

Okay, well, think about it. I used to be really good at the drums.

And I still have my electric guitar somewhere.

You know what? We're really good!

- What are we waiting for? Let's sign up! - Okay.

Okay, so who wouldn't want to start a rock band? It would be so cool.

Limos, screaming fans.

I've even prepared my acceptance speech for the MTV Awards.

I'd like to thank my mother, my father, and all the other members of my band.

Which, of course, is just me.

And let's face it. Me on the drums, Riley on the guitar...

we'd sound like a lame cover band of the Brady Six.

RILEY: That's when we decided to get some other players.

Put a real, cutting-edge band together.

"Musicians Wanted." Only the hippest, hottest...

coolest, most experimental need apply.

[Playing popular Jewish song]

Hey!

CHLOE: And who was the first coolest, hottest, hippest...

cutting-edge musician to audition for our band?

[Playing rock music]

CHLOE: Just our luck. Larry Slotnick.

[Crashing]

CHLOE: Now all we needed was a bass player.

[Playing Beethoven's Symphony No. 5 Op. 67]

CHLOE: Okay, so maybe he's not Kid Rock.

Okay, he's never heard of Kid Rock.

But unlike the rest of us, he can actually read music.

[Playing Rock This Town by the Stray Cats]

CHLOE: So meet our band.

[Rock music playing]

- Hey! - Hey!

Oops.

Oh, Mr. Hilliard...

[Shouting] I'm sure the dresses went out to your stores in Houston last Tuesday.

Yeah, I can call the warehouse to confirm the shipment.

What?

Why am I yelling?

Do you have children?

Really? That young?

Listen. Little word of advice.

If they ever develop an interest in music...

discourage them!

Okay.

What do you think?

Teddi, what are you doing? I didn't say put on the red dress!

I said pull up Bloomingdale's and get me their Hartford address.

Well, you don't have to yell!

Sorry. I'm not yelling at you! I'm just yelling!

Manny, do you have to do that?

Yes, I have to do this!

Because if I don't do this...

I'm gonna have to listen to that!

It stopped.

Maybe they're taking a break.

I'm praying that they broke up.

RILEY: Okay, one more time from the top!

- That's it! I'm out of here! - I'm out of here, too.

Well, wait for me!

Okay, so maybe we're not quite ready for the War of the Bands.

But we still have time to practice.

What I didn't see coming was another war, a bigger war...

between me and Tanya.

Catfight.

Like, who's that, playing the guitar?

He's kind of cute.

Slotnick?

He's like, you know, the dweeb that's always chasing Riley Carlson.

Meet me at the car.

Like, hi.

Hey.

Hi, Macy.

Hi, Jake.

Macy?

I hope you don't mind.

The girls' "rock band" drove me right out of the house.

So, I just had work backing up, and I thought you wouldn't mind if I did it here.

Yeah, sure, no problem. Okay.

[Imitating an airplane engine]

He turns. He turns, he scores.

Oh, misses, but gets it off the rebound behind the back.

Yes! Two points.

I'm bothering you, aren't I?

Just a little.

[Bell ringing]

Tell me again why we have to buy me all new clothes.

Okay.

Because you are now in a rock band.

Okay, if you were performing in the Los Angeles Philharmonic...

you could wear something like that.

But in a rock band you need to wear something more like...

that.

Oh.

I don't think my parents would approve of me wearing anything like that.

Exactly. That's why it's so great.

And the real fun is having your parents pay for them.

Are we going apparel shopping or what?

I have an eye doctor appointment.

Randy, may I ask you something?

Is Tanya hugging Larry, or do I need to get my eyes examined, too?

She does appear to be publicly displaying affection.

Which is, incidentally, against school policy.

I don't suppose you and I might ever test that restriction?

I didn't think so.

I still can't believe you're not weirded out that Tanya's hitting on Larry.

Okay, will you leave it alone?

I mean, maybe she lost some sort of bet, or it's some kind of initiation.

Okay, if I were you, I'd watch it.

She might be moving in on your territory.

Chloe, get real.

Larry worships me. Larry adores me.

When it comes to Larry Slotnick, it's all about me.

Trust me, even J-Lo couldn't move in on my territory.

[Knocking at door]

Hey, Riley. You look really good in that shirt.

Well, thank you, Larry.

- So why don't we get started? - Cool.

I brought a friend along. You know, to watch us rehearse.

What's up, guys?

Hope you don't mind.

Isn't he, like, adorable?

I guess I'm just, like, his number one fan.

So, like, Larry...

why don't you start with the song you dedicated to me?

You know, the one where I play the tambourine.

By all means, let's start with that one.

But first, Larry, can we, like, have a word in the kitchen? Like, alone?

Larry, what is going on?

And what is she doing here?

Who? Tanya?

[Sarcastically] No. Julia Roberts.

She likes me.

She likes you?

Why? How?

That violates every rule of nature.

Oh, yeah?

Well, you know what? She just happens to think that I'm cute.

And I'm talented and I'm creative...

and someday I'm actually gonna be a hot solo act.

But how? What--

I knew you'd be jealous.

RILEY: Could it be?

Me? Jealous over Larry Slotnick?

The guy who always follows me around?

Bothers me? Never lea ves me alone?

Impossible! Unthinkable!

[Electric guitar clanging]

Oh, my God. I really am jealous.

Well, well, well. It's time you got up. It's almost noon.

Macy, what's going on here?

Band practice again.

Okay, Teddi, I think it's ready.

Hey. Do you got any real milk? I hate this soy junk.

Hello!

Have you guys forgotten whose place this is? Give me that!

Well, Jake, I know this seems a little intrusive...

but the War of the Bands is tomorrow.

Okay, the practices will be over and you can have your house back.

All right, you guys, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that.

You can certainly use the place for one more day.

Unless, of course, they win...

in which case, they'll go to the state finals.

Which means they'll be practicing twice a day for the next three months.

Okay, I need to go lay down.

Wait a minute. There's no such thing as state finals.

Oh, well, I know that, but he doesn't know that.

You.

Like, are you talking to me?

Yeah, like, I'm talking to you.

And, like, Larry Slotnick, like, belongs to me!

In your dreams, Barbie.

This hunk is mine!

You think so?

Ladies, ladies. There's enough hunk for the both of you.

- Oh, shut up! - Oh, shut up!

You talk big, Riley. What are you gonna do about it?

Okay, here's the 4-1-1, girly.

Larry Slotnick has been, and is...

the worst thing that has ever happened to me!

He's a pest, a chronic pain. He totally creeps me out!

He's irritated me since he spilled chocolate milk on my new sundress...

and tried to kiss me in preschool.

I have nightmares about him, I wake up screaming...

picturing his face at my window.

And no one, I mean no one, least of all you...

is gonna come between me and the man who makes me miserable!

So either it's back off, or let's take this outside!

Hey, Carlson, like, lighten up.

Like, if the guy turns you off that much, he's all yours.

Come on, let's get out of here.

I can't believe you let Tanya play you like that.

I guess I'm just a sucker for a girl...

who doesn't run screaming out of the room when I walk in.

Yeah, I guess I can see how that could kind of be a turn-on.

Yeah, but not as big a turn-on as watching you catfight over yours truly.

This is the break I've been waiting for.

Admit it. You have strong feelings for me.

All right, I admit it. I have strong feelings for you.

I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!

Okay, I said strong feelings. I didn't say good feelings.

Oh, come on, you missed me just a little.

All right, maybe just a little bit.

Did you hear that, world?

She has strong feelings for me and she missed me!

- Larry! Larry. - Sorry.

So does this mean that we're finally going together?

Get a life.

I love you, too!

[Singing]

[Crowd cheering and applauding]

MACY: Jake, look at my new dress design.

I'm tapping into a whole new sense of design here.

And to what do you owe this creative awakening, Macy?

Eating all my Ritz Bitz?

Oh, Jake, you know what? It's this trailer.

I mean, I know, when you moved into this puke-colored tin can...

I gave you a hard time. But you know what? I understand now.

I mean, it's freeing. It's alternative.

Hey, look, if it's working for you, I'll stay out of the way.

I'll stay down at the house and you can stay here.

- You'd do that for me? That is so sweet. - My pleasure. Now, look.

I think I got a spare key somewhere over here.

- You sure you don't mind? - Mi casa es su casa.

Let's see. Okay. Here it is.

- Okay, thanks. - Now, wait.

You're gonna need to use this wrench...

to turn the water main on every time you want to flush the toilet.

And then there's one more thing.

Here's some pepper spray...

you're gonna have to use on the raccoon that lives by the water main.

You can probably use it on the skunk, too.

And, you know, I wouldn't worry about the bats.

They're usually mating this time of year.

Yup. Works every time.

English - SDH