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1
00:00:08,883 --> 00:00:10,510
[Milo]
Hey, Roman, are you sleeping?
2
00:00:11,678 --> 00:00:12,762
Yes.
3
00:00:13,513 --> 00:00:15,056
[Milo] Okay, cool.
4
00:00:15,765 --> 00:00:16,850
Hey, Roman?
5
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:20,228
-What? [sighs]
-Is the monster gone?
6
00:00:20,854 --> 00:00:23,648
[sighs] We've talked
about this, okay?
7
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,568
There is no monster!
8
00:00:28,653 --> 00:00:30,739
Why'd you scream? You scared me.
9
00:00:31,322 --> 00:00:35,076
I scared you? [scoffs]
Look, tha-- that's it, okay?
10
00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:37,787
I'm too old to be living with
a kid who believes in monsters.
11
00:00:38,288 --> 00:00:40,290
Remember what Gladys
at the dry cleaners said?
12
00:00:40,749 --> 00:00:42,208
That's the most ketchup
she's ever cleaned out
13
00:00:42,292 --> 00:00:43,334
of a young man's pants?
14
00:00:44,335 --> 00:00:46,421
Exactly. "A young man."
15
00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,506
And a young man,
needs his own room.
16
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:50,550
N-- I'm talking to Mom and Dad.
17
00:00:56,264 --> 00:00:57,432
Well, that's new.
18
00:01:01,436 --> 00:01:03,396
Oh, hey, kid.
Is this the Russo house?
19
00:01:03,813 --> 00:01:05,231
What are you doing in my mirror?
20
00:01:05,398 --> 00:01:07,484
That's how we get places.
I'm a wizard.
21
00:01:07,776 --> 00:01:09,194
Where's your robe
and pointy hat?
22
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:12,322
[chuckles] Let me clarify.
I'm a wizard with style.
23
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,038
[female voice]
Billie, we can't go in that way.
24
00:01:21,331 --> 00:01:23,041
Wait! Who else is in there?
25
00:01:23,958 --> 00:01:25,376
Should I be changing
in the bathroom?
26
00:01:26,920 --> 00:01:28,630
-Okay, Milo.
-Roman.
27
00:01:28,797 --> 00:01:29,923
There's something
I gotta tell you.
28
00:01:30,090 --> 00:01:33,718
Me first, okay? [inhales]
Maybe I flew off the handle.
29
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,428
Not gonna move out.
30
00:01:35,595 --> 00:01:38,848
But promise me,
no more crazy made-up stories.
31
00:01:38,973 --> 00:01:43,228
-There's a wizard in our mirror!
-Dad, I need my own room!
32
00:01:45,688 --> 00:01:46,815
[theme song playing]
33
00:01:46,940 --> 00:01:49,859
♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪
34
00:01:49,943 --> 00:01:51,694
♪ When you can
have what you want ♪
35
00:01:51,820 --> 00:01:53,488
♪ By the simplest of means ♪
36
00:01:53,696 --> 00:01:56,574
♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪
37
00:01:56,741 --> 00:02:01,287
♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪
38
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:03,414
♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪
39
00:02:03,498 --> 00:02:06,292
♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪
40
00:02:06,626 --> 00:02:08,086
♪ Yes, please ♪
41
00:02:10,088 --> 00:02:11,798
-♪ What it seems ♪
-[theme song concludes]
42
00:02:18,221 --> 00:02:20,098
Oh! Hey there, good looking.
43
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:22,475
[exhales] Why, yes.
44
00:02:22,642 --> 00:02:26,354
It is my birthday today.
Yeah, 34.
45
00:02:26,813 --> 00:02:27,814
[grunts]
46
00:02:29,607 --> 00:02:31,776
Oh, you think the J-Man's
still got it? [exhales]
47
00:02:32,527 --> 00:02:35,905
-I think you still got it.
-[gasps, laughs] Giada.
48
00:02:35,989 --> 00:02:38,241
[inhales]
You're awake. That's fun.
49
00:02:39,784 --> 00:02:41,327
Happy birthday, J-Man.
50
00:02:42,078 --> 00:02:43,913
You remembered my birthday.
51
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,039
How could I forget?
52
00:02:45,123 --> 00:02:47,125
You sent me
four calendar invites.
53
00:02:48,042 --> 00:02:50,044
Well, you do know that
coordinating family logistics
54
00:02:50,170 --> 00:02:51,921
-is my love language.
-[laughs]
55
00:02:52,463 --> 00:02:54,966
Gross! Get a room!
56
00:02:55,550 --> 00:02:56,718
This is our room.
57
00:02:57,594 --> 00:03:00,221
Hey, guys! Anything
you wanna say to me today?
58
00:03:00,346 --> 00:03:03,308
Oh, thank you for asking.
I need my own room.
59
00:03:03,808 --> 00:03:06,394
No, like anything
you want to, uh, wish me?
60
00:03:06,769 --> 00:03:09,314
I wish you would give me
my own room.
61
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:13,234
Look what I woke up
to this morning.
62
00:03:13,526 --> 00:03:15,236
It's so the monster
in the closet will think
63
00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:17,197
I'm a monster
and go after Roman.
64
00:03:17,947 --> 00:03:19,782
Savage. Gets that from my side.
65
00:03:21,409 --> 00:03:24,078
Mom, don't encourage him.
You should be telling him
66
00:03:24,162 --> 00:03:25,747
there's no such thing
as monsters.
67
00:03:25,997 --> 00:03:27,248
Back me up on this, Dad.
68
00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:28,625
Absolutely, buddy.
69
00:03:28,708 --> 00:03:30,668
There is no such thing
as monsters.
70
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,128
And I should know,
'cause I was not
71
00:03:32,253 --> 00:03:33,546
a monster hunter
when I was your age.
72
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,131
You were a monster hunter?
73
00:03:35,298 --> 00:03:38,301
No! No, I was very clear
when I said I was not
74
00:03:38,384 --> 00:03:40,178
a monster hunter, okay?
I couldn't have been,
75
00:03:40,345 --> 00:03:41,346
because I'm not a wizard.
76
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,015
[chuckles, inhales deeply]
What are we even talking about?
77
00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:49,312
Is Dad having a midlife crisis?
Are you getting a tattoo?
78
00:03:49,604 --> 00:03:50,647
Ooh, are you?
79
00:03:51,564 --> 00:03:53,191
-No, and I am not midlife--
-M'kay.
80
00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:54,859
Guys, I turned 34 today.
81
00:03:55,109 --> 00:03:56,110
It's your birthday?
82
00:03:56,569 --> 00:03:58,446
Be honest with me, does no one
check the family calendar?
83
00:03:59,364 --> 00:04:02,158
We all love the calendar,
big fans of the calendar. Okay.
84
00:04:02,242 --> 00:04:05,119
Boys, go get dressed.
I think your dad needs a moment.
85
00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:08,248
Listen, don't freak out,
86
00:04:08,331 --> 00:04:09,874
but I got you a little surprise
for your birthday.
87
00:04:10,416 --> 00:04:11,751
But... I don't like surprises.
88
00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:13,127
Oh, you're gonna like this one.
89
00:04:14,671 --> 00:04:16,589
Okay, I can handle this.
Maybe liking surprises
90
00:04:16,673 --> 00:04:18,466
will be a new thing for me.
Yeah, yeah.
91
00:04:18,549 --> 00:04:20,468
[inhales]
Oh, who am I kidding? Giada!
92
00:04:25,306 --> 00:04:26,474
Let's just go in this way.
93
00:04:26,849 --> 00:04:28,726
[female voice] No,
we have to use the front door.
94
00:04:29,018 --> 00:04:32,188
[scoffs] Like a mortal?
Aw, man, nobody better see me.
95
00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:38,987
Giada! Hey, um, uh, yeah...
96
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,073
Giada, why-- why don't
you tell me what it is, okay?
97
00:04:42,156 --> 00:04:43,449
And you'll be like, "Surprise!"
98
00:04:43,533 --> 00:04:46,077
And then I'll be like,
"No freaking way!" [chuckles]
99
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:48,079
-Gia-- Huh?
-[doorbell rings]
100
00:04:51,207 --> 00:04:53,418
Look who's using the front door
just like one of you people.
101
00:04:55,545 --> 00:04:56,546
Surprise!
102
00:05:02,176 --> 00:05:03,594
No freaking way.
103
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,597
I know,
I look fantastic, don't I?
104
00:05:07,849 --> 00:05:09,934
Alex, [stammers] are you
here for my birthday?
105
00:05:10,435 --> 00:05:13,771
It's your... It-- uh... It's
your birthday! That's why...
106
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:15,440
-That's why I came, you know?
-[Justin] Aw.
107
00:05:15,523 --> 00:05:17,066
That's why we're here.
We came for your birthday.
108
00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:21,404
You dragged me here
for your brother's birthday?
109
00:05:21,571 --> 00:05:22,864
No, I brought you here,
110
00:05:22,947 --> 00:05:24,532
so you can meet your
new wizard teacher.
111
00:05:24,741 --> 00:05:27,243
I don't need a new teacher.
They never believe in me anyway.
112
00:05:27,493 --> 00:05:30,413
[inhales] Well, this one will.
He's the best I've ever known.
113
00:05:30,538 --> 00:05:32,165
-[sighs]
-Annoyingly. But...
114
00:05:32,415 --> 00:05:33,916
I just have
to find a way to ask him.
115
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,418
He can be a little high-strung.
116
00:05:35,626 --> 00:05:37,003
Did you guys track this dirt in?
117
00:05:40,131 --> 00:05:41,632
Okay, a lot high-strung.
118
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,220
So, you're the guy who owns
all the sandwich shops?
119
00:05:46,387 --> 00:05:47,388
Like, the billionaire?
120
00:05:47,638 --> 00:05:49,432
Uh, no. That would be Max.
121
00:05:49,557 --> 00:05:51,184
I'm a middle school
vice principal, which some
122
00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:53,311
would say is much cooler
than being a billionaire.
123
00:05:53,478 --> 00:05:54,812
-Nobody says that.
-I would never say that.
124
00:05:56,814 --> 00:05:58,983
Uh, and Alex, who is this?
125
00:05:59,275 --> 00:06:02,987
Oh, um, this is Billie.
She's... with me.
126
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,573
Well, that clears everything up.
127
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,577
-Aunt Alex!
-Oh, my gosh! Hi, guys!
128
00:06:09,660 --> 00:06:12,622
How are you?
I bought you presents.
129
00:06:12,705 --> 00:06:14,082
Because I'm the coolest aunt,
like ever.
130
00:06:14,248 --> 00:06:15,666
-[Roman] Oh! Shirts.
-So...
131
00:06:16,834 --> 00:06:18,544
-[Roman] Straight outta WizTech.
-Alex.
132
00:06:19,128 --> 00:06:20,546
Can I speak with you in private?
133
00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:26,219
That's the wizard girl
from our mirror.
134
00:06:26,594 --> 00:06:27,720
Dude, you're gonna
weird her out.
135
00:06:27,970 --> 00:06:29,597
Hey, what kind of mileage
does this thing get?
136
00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:34,060
Okay, maybe
she's gonna weird us out.
137
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:37,647
Uh, what are these?
138
00:06:37,980 --> 00:06:39,857
Uh, hilarious novelty tees.
139
00:06:41,192 --> 00:06:42,235
About wizards.
140
00:06:42,402 --> 00:06:45,863
-Well, we are wizards.
-[shushes]
141
00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,907
Okay, we're talking
over here now.
142
00:06:49,492 --> 00:06:51,327
Remember how
the last time we talked,
143
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:53,496
you asked me when I was going
to tell Giada and the kids
144
00:06:53,621 --> 00:06:55,081
that I was from
a family of wizards?
145
00:06:55,456 --> 00:06:58,376
-Yeah.
-Well, I kinda sort of haven't.
146
00:06:58,918 --> 00:07:01,379
You're still lying
to your family, Justin? I'm...
147
00:07:02,255 --> 00:07:03,381
I'm so proud of you.
148
00:07:05,133 --> 00:07:07,427
I'm not lying, Alex.
Technically, I'm not a wizard.
149
00:07:07,593 --> 00:07:09,720
Okay? Anymore.
I haven't picked up a wand
150
00:07:09,804 --> 00:07:10,972
since I got fired from WizTech.
151
00:07:11,389 --> 00:07:13,307
Oh... Yeah.
The unicorn incident.
152
00:07:13,391 --> 00:07:15,143
-That was hilarious-- Awful.
-Awful!
153
00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,687
It was so awful.
That's what I was trying to say.
154
00:07:18,020 --> 00:07:22,150
Uh, but don't you miss it?
You know, teaching wizards?
155
00:07:22,900 --> 00:07:25,862
[scoffs] No. I don't even
think about it every day.
156
00:07:27,989 --> 00:07:29,782
-You just said every day.
-Yes, I didn't.
157
00:07:32,493 --> 00:07:34,454
Look, okay?
Just while you're here,
158
00:07:34,871 --> 00:07:37,582
no talk about magic
and no wizard talk, okay?
159
00:07:37,707 --> 00:07:41,461
Fine. What exactly does your
family think I do for a living?
160
00:07:41,794 --> 00:07:42,837
Professional dog walker.
161
00:07:45,590 --> 00:07:48,217
I want to be offended, but I do
love dogs, so...
162
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:50,636
All right, fine.
I won't blow your cover.
163
00:07:50,970 --> 00:07:53,347
Thank you. And what
about Billie? Is she cool?
164
00:07:53,473 --> 00:07:54,515
I promise.
165
00:07:54,599 --> 00:07:57,477
Billie definitely won't say
anything about being a wizard.
166
00:07:57,768 --> 00:07:58,811
I'm a wizard!
167
00:08:01,230 --> 00:08:03,941
-I told you.
-Milo, she's not a wizard.
168
00:08:04,233 --> 00:08:05,485
I know you didn't just say that.
169
00:08:06,527 --> 00:08:07,570
There's no
such thing as wizards.
170
00:08:07,862 --> 00:08:09,238
And I know
you did not just say that.
171
00:08:10,323 --> 00:08:12,074
It's not personal.
He doesn't believe me
172
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,826
about the monster
in our closet either.
173
00:08:13,910 --> 00:08:15,495
Uh--
Because monsters aren't real,
174
00:08:15,870 --> 00:08:17,246
just like wizards aren't real.
175
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:19,499
Okay, smart guy,
show me your closet then.
176
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:22,418
Fine, but all that's
gonna prove is that I have
177
00:08:22,502 --> 00:08:23,711
great taste in cardigans.
178
00:08:27,298 --> 00:08:29,592
There it is. There's the closet.
179
00:08:29,759 --> 00:08:30,843
Open it up.
180
00:08:30,968 --> 00:08:33,304
This is your dumb thing.
You open it.
181
00:08:33,429 --> 00:08:36,224
I'm not opening it.
I like being alive.
182
00:08:37,016 --> 00:08:39,185
Well, guess you're both
too scared to open it.
183
00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:41,437
I am.
Thought I was clear about that.
184
00:08:42,605 --> 00:08:43,940
Hey, fine, I'll open it.
185
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,318
[softly] From the place
where dark beasts dwell,
186
00:08:47,777 --> 00:08:49,529
I summon a floogie
with this spell.
187
00:08:50,696 --> 00:08:53,157
Get ready to not see...
[screams]
188
00:08:53,241 --> 00:08:55,618
-[growls]
-[screams]
189
00:08:58,371 --> 00:08:59,497
Why are you laughing?!
190
00:08:59,622 --> 00:09:02,542
Because,
you said monsters aren't real,
191
00:09:02,792 --> 00:09:05,795
so I conjured one,
'cause I'm a wizard, ahwandra.
192
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:08,798
[growling and grumbling]
193
00:09:09,882 --> 00:09:12,385
Please tell me there's a spell
to make it go away.
194
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:14,929
There is, I just don't know it.
195
00:09:17,014 --> 00:09:18,891
You don't know
how to send it back?
196
00:09:19,141 --> 00:09:20,560
Then why did you conjure it?
197
00:09:20,685 --> 00:09:22,853
-'Cause you said I couldn't.
-You can't argue with the logic.
198
00:09:24,772 --> 00:09:26,190
-[growls]
-[shushes]
199
00:09:27,942 --> 00:09:29,026
I don't hear anything.
200
00:09:31,654 --> 00:09:34,407
See? Uh, maybe the monster
went away on its own?
201
00:09:34,782 --> 00:09:37,034
Yeah, that definitely happens.
Go check it out.
202
00:09:40,204 --> 00:09:41,872
-[growls]
-[screams]
203
00:09:43,249 --> 00:09:45,960
[laughs] You checked it out?
What is wrong with you?
204
00:09:46,085 --> 00:09:48,087
Me?
We didn't have a monster
205
00:09:48,212 --> 00:09:50,047
in the closet
until you came along!
206
00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:52,174
-Actually--
-Not now, Milo!
207
00:09:56,721 --> 00:09:57,847
My dad cannot find out
208
00:09:57,972 --> 00:09:59,181
there's a monster
running around the house.
209
00:09:59,390 --> 00:10:00,600
-It'll--
-Ruin his birthday.
210
00:10:00,933 --> 00:10:04,729
His birthday? If Justin Russo
finds out wizards are real,
211
00:10:05,021 --> 00:10:07,064
-his head's gonna explode!
-Cool.
212
00:10:08,065 --> 00:10:09,775
Why did you bring
that... that...
213
00:10:10,026 --> 00:10:11,402
-Floogie.
-...that floogie here,
214
00:10:11,527 --> 00:10:12,570
if you couldn't get rid of it?
215
00:10:12,653 --> 00:10:14,155
'Cause I didn't know
I couldn't get rid of it
216
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,364
until I brought it here.
217
00:10:16,657 --> 00:10:18,951
You need to go back to...
wizard school.
218
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:20,786
Well, I can't,
'cause I got kicked out.
219
00:10:22,371 --> 00:10:24,582
It's not my fault
my teachers don't believe in me.
220
00:10:24,832 --> 00:10:26,834
But I don't need them.
I don't need anyone.
221
00:10:27,043 --> 00:10:28,502
We definitely need someone.
222
00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,549
No, we don't. I can fix this.
223
00:10:33,716 --> 00:10:35,259
I'll get rid
of the floogie myself.
224
00:10:36,260 --> 00:10:37,261
Please.
225
00:10:37,720 --> 00:10:39,555
All right, fine.
But if that thing
226
00:10:39,639 --> 00:10:40,848
poops in the house,
you're cleaning it up.
227
00:10:41,307 --> 00:10:43,601
Oh, they don't poop.
They flarf. It's way worse.
228
00:10:47,355 --> 00:10:50,232
So, hypothetically, yeah, I use
words like hypothetically now,
229
00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,402
what would you say
if someone were to ask you
230
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:54,612
to go back to teaching magic?
231
00:10:54,945 --> 00:10:56,530
Alex, what is this all about?
232
00:10:57,073 --> 00:11:00,534
Oh! Sorry I took so long.
Mr. Kopecky from next door
233
00:11:00,618 --> 00:11:02,828
forced me to look at pictures
of his grandson.
234
00:11:03,037 --> 00:11:05,373
Now, I would never say
that a baby is ugly,
235
00:11:05,498 --> 00:11:07,333
but this baby,
it looks like a foot.
236
00:11:09,210 --> 00:11:10,920
-Alex! [scoffs]
-Hey, Giada.
237
00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:12,171
What are you doing here?
238
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:15,466
Giada, come on. I know that
Alex is my birthday surprise.
239
00:11:15,591 --> 00:11:16,884
Whoa, babe,
I would never ambush you
240
00:11:16,967 --> 00:11:18,177
with family
and call it a present.
241
00:11:18,761 --> 00:11:20,388
So, Alex, how's work?
242
00:11:20,638 --> 00:11:22,807
Uh, work's great.
I'm on the Tribunal now.
243
00:11:23,224 --> 00:11:26,769
-You're on the Tribunal?
-There's a dog-walking tribunal?
244
00:11:27,937 --> 00:11:29,438
Yeah. Yeah, they were like,
245
00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:33,943
"Alex, there are some pretty bad
dogs out there, and...
246
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:36,278
and you're the only one
that can help."
247
00:11:37,113 --> 00:11:39,365
Oh, you're
the only one, huh? You?
248
00:11:40,616 --> 00:11:42,410
Yeah.
Why is it so hard to believe?
249
00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:43,786
I mean, I am the family...
250
00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,705
dog walker.
251
00:11:46,872 --> 00:11:49,041
But I practically taught you
how to walk those dogs.
252
00:11:49,500 --> 00:11:51,627
If anyone should have been
on the Tribunal, we both know
253
00:11:51,752 --> 00:11:53,045
that it should have been moi.
254
00:11:53,254 --> 00:11:56,465
Okay. Well, if you wanted
to make the Tribunal so badly,
255
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,967
maybe you shouldn't have
hung up your leash.
256
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,927
Okay, you know, well,
this is getting awkward.
257
00:12:00,010 --> 00:12:02,221
Is anybody thirsty? I'm not,
but I'm gonna leave anyway.
258
00:12:04,140 --> 00:12:05,474
Dude, what's your problem?
259
00:12:05,599 --> 00:12:07,810
I thought you were happy
you left wizarding behind.
260
00:12:08,060 --> 00:12:11,856
I am, okay? I like my quiet,
predictable, no surprises life.
261
00:12:12,231 --> 00:12:14,900
Then why are you acting
like you have flarf for brains?
262
00:12:15,568 --> 00:12:18,028
First, we don't use that kind
of language in this house.
263
00:12:20,030 --> 00:12:22,533
And second, if you're not
my birthday surprise,
264
00:12:22,867 --> 00:12:24,076
what are you doing here, Alex?
265
00:12:24,660 --> 00:12:29,165
Okay fine. Um, Billie is one of
the most extraordinary wizards
266
00:12:29,248 --> 00:12:30,916
-I've ever met. But she needs...
-[glass shattering]
267
00:12:32,209 --> 00:12:33,210
What was that?
268
00:12:35,421 --> 00:12:37,006
[gasps] Giada!
269
00:12:39,508 --> 00:12:42,178
[gasps, grunts]
270
00:12:43,220 --> 00:12:44,513
This looks like
a floogie freeze.
271
00:12:45,014 --> 00:12:47,558
Oh, look at you remembering
your class-three monsters.
272
00:12:47,641 --> 00:12:48,559
Just like old times.
273
00:12:48,642 --> 00:12:49,852
-When we were little, I used--
-Oh, no.
274
00:12:49,977 --> 00:12:52,772
No, no, no, no, no. No.
You said you wouldn't do magic.
275
00:12:53,022 --> 00:12:54,523
-I didn't do this. It...
-[sighs]
276
00:12:55,191 --> 00:12:57,151
-Billie...
-This is classic Alex.
277
00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:59,445
You're here for five minutes
and I got a floogie infestation,
278
00:12:59,570 --> 00:13:01,030
and just look
at my beautiful wife!
279
00:13:03,574 --> 00:13:07,119
I'll handle this. After all,
I am the family dog walker.
280
00:13:09,163 --> 00:13:12,041
The only way to unfreeze her is to banish
the floogie back where it came from.
281
00:13:12,166 --> 00:13:16,128
I know, but thank you for the
refresher because... I forgot.
282
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,425
Whatever you do,
do not look the floogie
283
00:13:21,509 --> 00:13:23,093
right in the eye,
or he'll freeze you.
284
00:13:23,344 --> 00:13:25,971
Which one?
The thing's 90 percent eyes!
285
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:28,891
-[groans, chews loudly]
-It's over there!
286
00:13:32,978 --> 00:13:34,230
He's eating the couch!
287
00:13:34,438 --> 00:13:36,065
Dad won't even let us
eat on the couch!
288
00:13:37,066 --> 00:13:38,192
[growls]
289
00:13:39,610 --> 00:13:42,571
-[Milo] Roman, look out!
-[growls, grumbles]
290
00:13:44,323 --> 00:13:47,451
-Milo!
-He saved you.
291
00:13:48,077 --> 00:13:50,788
Well, we're Russos. Russos
always have each other's backs.
292
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,666
So, you would have done
the same thing for him?
293
00:13:54,667 --> 00:13:57,294
I would have...
strongly considered it.
294
00:13:58,379 --> 00:14:00,923
[sighs] We should hide him
until I can banish the floogie.
295
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,008
I think if your parents
saw their son frozen solid,
296
00:14:03,133 --> 00:14:04,176
it'd be pretty upsetting.
297
00:14:04,468 --> 00:14:05,970
Do you? Do you think that?
298
00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:08,430
What are we gonna do
about the couch?
299
00:14:10,808 --> 00:14:12,351
-Oh, nice.
-Let's go.
300
00:14:16,772 --> 00:14:19,066
[whispers indistinctly]
Where are we hiding the kid?
301
00:14:19,275 --> 00:14:21,402
An infinity pocket?
Bottomless bag?
302
00:14:21,485 --> 00:14:23,487
You know, I can open a portal
to the Nowhere Zone.
303
00:14:23,904 --> 00:14:25,197
I'm not sending
my little brother
304
00:14:25,281 --> 00:14:27,199
to the Nowhere Zone.
He's got a field trip tomorrow.
305
00:14:28,450 --> 00:14:29,702
Help me put him on the bike.
306
00:14:39,336 --> 00:14:41,755
-A helmet? Really?
-It's the law!
307
00:14:45,509 --> 00:14:48,304
All right, Giada,
we're almost there. [pants]
308
00:14:48,762 --> 00:14:52,099
[whispers] There we go.
[grunts] Okay. Sorry.
309
00:14:52,182 --> 00:14:56,562
that's... [pants]
Oh! Hey, g-- guys.
310
00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,398
I didn't know you were...
[pants] ...out here.
311
00:14:59,607 --> 00:15:04,445
Oh, yeah, I was just showing
Billie the water heater.
312
00:15:04,570 --> 00:15:06,572
-Yeah.
-And I was just...
313
00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,617
I was just carrying
whatever's under this blanket.
314
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:13,495
[laughs awkwardly]
Well, that is some very
315
00:15:13,621 --> 00:15:16,582
normal behavior
from the both of us.
316
00:15:16,749 --> 00:15:18,709
-[chuckles]
-[inhales sharply] Ta-ta.
317
00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,880
Uh, Roman, just real quick, bud.
318
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,591
You haven't seen anything,
like, weird going on
319
00:15:25,674 --> 00:15:26,967
around here today, have you?
320
00:15:27,635 --> 00:15:32,348
Uh... No, no, no, no,
nothing weird.
321
00:15:32,514 --> 00:15:34,767
Just the regular old
boring Russos.
322
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:37,269
No reason for you
to get worked up, Dad.
323
00:15:37,811 --> 00:15:39,772
Wait, wait, wait, you're saying
we're boring? You think we're boring?
324
00:15:40,022 --> 00:15:41,941
Oh, yeah, totally,
totally the boring-est.
325
00:15:42,816 --> 00:15:44,777
Maybe I could stand to use
a little excitement in life.
326
00:15:44,902 --> 00:15:47,529
Well, well,
you are not gonna find it here,
327
00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:50,699
because our house
is boring central.
328
00:15:51,742 --> 00:15:54,912
[yawns] See, I'm getting bored
just talking about it.
329
00:15:55,663 --> 00:15:57,373
[sniffs] See ya.
330
00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:04,463
Not there. Not there.
331
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:09,802
Not there.
[gasps] There you are.
332
00:16:12,763 --> 00:16:15,015
I guess I could start looking
for the floogie now.
333
00:16:19,603 --> 00:16:22,147
-Oh, hi, Alex. Bye, Alex.
-No, no.
334
00:16:23,190 --> 00:16:26,610
I knew it. You had something
to do with the floogie.
335
00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:28,278
This is just like
when you put a curse
336
00:16:28,362 --> 00:16:29,863
on Professor
Dinklebot's toothbrush.
337
00:16:30,864 --> 00:16:33,993
[laughs] He was shaving
his tongue for a month.
338
00:16:34,118 --> 00:16:35,619
-[laughs] That was hilarious.
-I know!
339
00:16:35,703 --> 00:16:38,664
But no!
This is not a laughing matter.
340
00:16:39,164 --> 00:16:41,709
Oh, you made me
sound like my mother. Billie,
341
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:45,087
Justin is not gonna teach you if
he thinks that you're trouble.
342
00:16:45,754 --> 00:16:48,298
-Sounds like a win-win to me.
-You don't get it.
343
00:16:49,299 --> 00:16:50,843
This is your last chance.
344
00:16:51,635 --> 00:16:53,387
The Tribunal thinks
that you're dangerous
345
00:16:53,470 --> 00:16:54,638
and they wanna take your wand.
346
00:16:54,722 --> 00:16:56,765
But that's not fair.
I'm a great wizard.
347
00:16:56,890 --> 00:16:59,601
You're a powerful wizard.
There's a difference.
348
00:17:00,310 --> 00:17:02,730
I'm not dangerous, and I'll
prove it. I can fix this.
349
00:17:02,896 --> 00:17:06,525
Just stay out of the way. You've
done quite enough, young lady.
350
00:17:07,192 --> 00:17:08,861
Who am I right now?
351
00:17:12,364 --> 00:17:13,866
Hey, where are you going?
352
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:15,909
I'm going upstairs
to find that floogie.
353
00:17:17,161 --> 00:17:18,245
What do you think you're doing?
354
00:17:18,537 --> 00:17:21,123
Going with you.
You mess everything up!
355
00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:23,792
-You clearly need help!
-No, I don't!
356
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:27,254
With magic cast by me alone,
I send thee to the Nowhere Zone.
357
00:17:27,337 --> 00:17:28,380
[screams]
358
00:17:31,133 --> 00:17:32,718
Here, floogie, floogie!
359
00:17:37,765 --> 00:17:43,228
Levitatus sofitus.
Wow, it's clean under here.
360
00:17:43,353 --> 00:17:45,355
[scoffs] What am I talking about?
We're at Justin's house.
361
00:17:45,439 --> 00:17:47,107
Of course
he vacuums under the couch.
362
00:17:49,693 --> 00:17:51,820
-[sofa thuds]
-I wasn't using magic!
363
00:17:53,155 --> 00:17:57,451
Listen, Alex. I'm sorry
that I snapped at you, okay?
364
00:17:57,576 --> 00:18:00,079
It's just, you were talking
about all the great stuff
365
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,498
you're doing, and I got jealous.
366
00:18:03,165 --> 00:18:04,333
Really? Of me?
367
00:18:04,792 --> 00:18:08,629
Yeah. You know,
maybe I do miss being a wizard.
368
00:18:10,214 --> 00:18:12,132
I'm so happy
to hear you say that.
369
00:18:13,258 --> 00:18:16,929
-Why?
-Okay, Billie is an incredibly
370
00:18:17,054 --> 00:18:19,556
powerful wizard,
but she's rebellious,
371
00:18:19,723 --> 00:18:23,143
and stubborn and sarcastic.
She has no discipline.
372
00:18:23,352 --> 00:18:24,645
[smacks lips] Sounds like
someone else I know.
373
00:18:24,812 --> 00:18:26,188
[laughs mockingly]
Like me, I get it.
374
00:18:26,605 --> 00:18:29,024
-[chuckles softly]
-But I had Dad.
375
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:32,486
and I had you.
Billie has no one.
376
00:18:32,820 --> 00:18:35,405
Every teacher she's ever had
has given up on her.
377
00:18:36,615 --> 00:18:40,244
-It's kinda why I'm here. I'm--
-No, Alex. No.
378
00:18:40,494 --> 00:18:43,580
I mean, I... I... I...
I don't teach wizards anymore.
379
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:46,125
Justin, you were
the youngest headmaster
380
00:18:46,250 --> 00:18:47,793
of WizTech in history.
381
00:18:48,127 --> 00:18:49,628
Yeah, and then I got fired.
382
00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:52,506
So, what?
You just hide out here
383
00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:54,758
in Staten Island
and deny who you are?
384
00:18:55,634 --> 00:18:58,554
I don't want my family
to know anything about my past.
385
00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,099
So, you're ashamed
of being a wizard?
386
00:19:02,724 --> 00:19:05,769
No. A failure.
387
00:19:07,062 --> 00:19:08,647
-[audience sighs]
-[sighs]
388
00:19:13,902 --> 00:19:16,113
You only fail
if you give up, Justin.
389
00:19:18,282 --> 00:19:20,659
Billie needs a teacher
who believes in her.
390
00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:25,372
She needs you,
like I needed you.
391
00:19:28,083 --> 00:19:30,961
[clears throat] I don't know
if I have it in me to try again.
392
00:19:34,381 --> 00:19:35,465
[sighs]
393
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,012
This couch feels
two inches further to the left.
394
00:19:42,598 --> 00:19:44,141
-[roars, grumbles]
-Billie!
395
00:19:45,559 --> 00:19:47,227
[grumbles]
396
00:19:51,523 --> 00:19:54,109
Alex, there's a gigantic floogie
in my kid's room!
397
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,405
Really? Where?
Billie, what did you do?
398
00:19:58,780 --> 00:20:01,408
I tried banishing it, but I only
made it bigger. Alex, please!
399
00:20:02,534 --> 00:20:05,120
I thought I could do it,
but I can't. I was wrong.
400
00:20:06,538 --> 00:20:08,081
Alex, what are you doing!?
Banish it for her!
401
00:20:09,583 --> 00:20:11,168
[roars]
402
00:20:15,339 --> 00:20:17,132
-Alex!
-[Justin] Don't! Come here!
403
00:20:17,883 --> 00:20:19,468
[roars]
404
00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,763
[roars]
405
00:20:23,555 --> 00:20:26,225
What are we gonna do?
Alex is the only wizard
406
00:20:26,350 --> 00:20:28,477
strong enough
to banish that thing. You do it.
407
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:29,770
I... I can't do it.
408
00:20:30,145 --> 00:20:32,231
But Alex said you were the best
she's ever known.
409
00:20:32,564 --> 00:20:33,857
Would've been nice
to hear that from her.
410
00:20:33,982 --> 00:20:36,068
[growls]
411
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:39,321
Listen to me. You have
to do this, okay? Only you can.
412
00:20:39,446 --> 00:20:41,156
I already tried, but I failed.
413
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:42,658
[breathes heavily]
414
00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,078
A wise wizard once told me,
you only fail if you give up.
415
00:20:46,578 --> 00:20:48,747
Now, what were you thinking
when you summoned it?
416
00:20:48,830 --> 00:20:50,499
Guess I just thought
of the floogie, the closet,
417
00:20:50,582 --> 00:20:52,209
and then I said the spell,
and it was there.
418
00:20:52,376 --> 00:20:53,961
-[roars]
-[Billie screams]
419
00:20:54,836 --> 00:20:56,838
Just focus, okay?
Clear your mind.
420
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,715
I told you, I can't.
421
00:20:59,591 --> 00:21:01,718
My teachers were right
not to believe in me.
422
00:21:03,512 --> 00:21:07,099
No. No, no, no. [stammers]
You just had the wrong teachers.
423
00:21:07,224 --> 00:21:10,227
Okay? Hey,
you got this, all right?
424
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:12,521
I believe in you, okay?
425
00:21:13,605 --> 00:21:15,023
Think of the place
you wanna send the floogie.
426
00:21:15,357 --> 00:21:17,901
And repeat after me.
[inhales, exhales sharply]
427
00:21:18,902 --> 00:21:20,779
With magic strong
and words of power.
428
00:21:20,904 --> 00:21:22,406
With magic strong
and words of power.
429
00:21:22,489 --> 00:21:25,534
-[growls]
-[grunts, groans]
430
00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:27,494
[growls]
431
00:21:27,661 --> 00:21:29,162
We banish you, floogie,
at this hour.
432
00:21:29,288 --> 00:21:30,330
[growls]
433
00:21:30,414 --> 00:21:31,957
We banish you, floogie,
at this hour.
434
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:33,375
[growls]
435
00:21:35,127 --> 00:21:37,045
-[growls]
-Now, together.
436
00:21:37,421 --> 00:21:38,922
Back to the road
from whence you came,
437
00:21:39,006 --> 00:21:40,299
and never ever more remain.
438
00:21:43,677 --> 00:21:45,095
[grumbles]
439
00:21:50,559 --> 00:21:52,144
-[gasps happily]
-[gasps] We did it!
440
00:21:54,271 --> 00:21:57,357
-You did it.
-And I knew that you could.
441
00:21:59,359 --> 00:22:00,360
Justin taught me.
442
00:22:00,736 --> 00:22:02,571
Oh, thought you don't
teach anymore.
443
00:22:03,530 --> 00:22:05,324
Wait, did you let yourself
get frozen on purpose
444
00:22:05,407 --> 00:22:06,783
so I'd have to step in
and instruct her,
445
00:22:06,867 --> 00:22:08,243
thus rediscovering
my love of teaching?
446
00:22:09,369 --> 00:22:11,538
That would've been
a really smart plan. [laughs]
447
00:22:11,621 --> 00:22:13,290
Well, and I don't know
if you did or you didn't.
448
00:22:13,373 --> 00:22:15,083
[smacks lips]
That's just the way I want it.
449
00:22:19,629 --> 00:22:21,340
I was hanging
on my bike forever.
450
00:22:21,423 --> 00:22:23,967
I'm gonna have to put lotion
on my tender parts.
451
00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:26,970
She trapped me
in the Nowhere Zone.
452
00:22:27,429 --> 00:22:28,972
I saw things I can't forget.
453
00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:31,933
They don't have a lotion
for your brain, Milo.
454
00:22:32,851 --> 00:22:33,935
Actually, they do.
455
00:22:34,311 --> 00:22:35,812
But the worm
that makes it has to crawl in
456
00:22:35,896 --> 00:22:36,980
through your earhole.
457
00:22:38,648 --> 00:22:41,109
But for real,
thanks for trying to help me.
458
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,320
Thanks for saving my family.
459
00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:45,989
I mean, you are the one
that put them in danger,
460
00:22:46,114 --> 00:22:48,075
but... thanks.
461
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:51,328
It was so weird.
I-- I'm in the kitchen,
462
00:22:51,536 --> 00:22:52,537
and the next thing I know,
463
00:22:52,621 --> 00:22:54,456
I'm in the garage
with a blanket over my head.
464
00:22:54,623 --> 00:22:56,917
[scoffs] That is weird.
465
00:22:58,335 --> 00:22:59,461
You know, it's probably best
466
00:22:59,544 --> 00:23:01,004
to just forget about it
and move on.
467
00:23:03,423 --> 00:23:05,592
You know, I could hit her
with a little cerebellum erasus
468
00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:06,760
and erase her memory.
469
00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,178
Keep your wand
out of my wife's head.
470
00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:13,058
So, Milo, I've been thinking.
471
00:23:13,517 --> 00:23:15,477
Um, now that we know
that wizards are real,
472
00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:16,603
and monsters are real...
473
00:23:16,686 --> 00:23:18,480
I already knew that,
but continue.
474
00:23:20,857 --> 00:23:22,984
I've, uh, I've decided
to stay in our room.
475
00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,237
You know,
for when you get scared.
476
00:23:25,529 --> 00:23:27,114
When he gets scared
or when you get scared?
477
00:23:28,073 --> 00:23:31,451
When are you leaving?
Hey, Dad, when is she leaving?
478
00:23:31,827 --> 00:23:34,538
Actually, I was thinking
she could, uh, stay with us
479
00:23:34,621 --> 00:23:35,622
for a little while.
480
00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:38,667
-Are you sure?
-Yeah, Dad, are you sure?
481
00:23:40,544 --> 00:23:41,586
What do you think?
482
00:23:42,462 --> 00:23:46,299
[sighs] I think
I could learn a lot here.
483
00:23:47,634 --> 00:23:49,010
-[chuckles lightly]
-And Giada's cool with this?
484
00:23:49,177 --> 00:23:50,470
-Totally.
-You didn't ask her.
485
00:23:50,679 --> 00:23:52,097
-I didn't.
-[audience laughs]
486
00:23:53,348 --> 00:23:55,225
Can't believe you're staying.
487
00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,228
You know,
I thought the face you made
488
00:23:58,311 --> 00:24:00,105
when you saw the floogie
was my favourite.
489
00:24:00,522 --> 00:24:01,898
But now it's this one.
490
00:24:02,065 --> 00:24:03,942
This one is definitely
my favorite.
491
00:24:05,527 --> 00:24:07,154
Happy birthday, J-Man.
492
00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:08,572
-Aw.
-Happy birthday!
493
00:24:08,780 --> 00:24:10,657
Oh, right, it's your birthday.
[chuckles]
494
00:24:15,036 --> 00:24:17,289
If I'm gonna train you,
it can't be here.
495
00:24:17,372 --> 00:24:18,373
-Why not?
-[clicks tongue]
496
00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:20,208
His family
doesn't know about wizards.
497
00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:24,171
Right! [laughs] Yes,
they do not know about wizards,
498
00:24:24,296 --> 00:24:26,465
'cause I didn't tell them.
So, unless you told them--
499
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:28,467
You know,
that is a really nice cardigan.
500
00:24:30,469 --> 00:24:31,595
Thank you. [chuckles]
501
00:24:32,762 --> 00:24:35,307
[clears throat]
Alex, will you do the honors?
502
00:24:35,557 --> 00:24:37,476
-Mm-hm.
-[mystical whooshing]
503
00:24:46,359 --> 00:24:48,820
The old lair,
this takes me back. [chuckles]
504
00:24:48,987 --> 00:24:50,822
[exhales] Oh!
505
00:25:00,749 --> 00:25:03,877
Hello, Wandy. My old friend.
506
00:25:05,504 --> 00:25:06,922
[audience claps and cheers]
507
00:25:08,006 --> 00:25:09,799
You know, I thought
you were just bringing me
508
00:25:09,883 --> 00:25:11,092
to another teacher
who doesn't care.
509
00:25:11,635 --> 00:25:14,638
But, I was wrong.
Thanks for believing in me.
510
00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:17,682
Of course. Us rebels,
we gotta stick together.
511
00:25:17,766 --> 00:25:19,434
-[chuckles softly]
-Look, I have to go back
512
00:25:19,518 --> 00:25:20,810
to the Tribunal. Are you good?
513
00:25:21,144 --> 00:25:22,812
Don't worry. I'll be okay here.
514
00:25:23,188 --> 00:25:25,232
Zippo zap,
zippo zee, zippo zeria!
515
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:29,903
[laughs, blows] Still got it.
516
00:25:31,238 --> 00:25:34,032
Okay, good, good,
because there's one thing I, um,
517
00:25:34,157 --> 00:25:35,951
kind of sort of
forgot to mention.
518
00:25:36,034 --> 00:25:38,161
Nothing big,
just this teeny tiny,
519
00:25:38,286 --> 00:25:40,539
but very real prophecy
about the end of the world,
520
00:25:40,622 --> 00:25:42,290
and Billie being
the only one who can save us.
521
00:25:43,625 --> 00:25:45,126
The fate of the world
is in her hands?
522
00:25:45,210 --> 00:25:46,503
[electricity zaps]
523
00:25:46,711 --> 00:25:48,255
Well, technically,
it's in your hands.
524
00:25:49,923 --> 00:25:51,174
You make sure she's ready,
525
00:25:51,258 --> 00:25:53,552
and I'll figure out
what she needs to be ready for.
526
00:25:54,344 --> 00:25:55,554
-Thank you.
-[sighs]
527
00:25:57,055 --> 00:25:58,056
For everything.
528
00:25:59,015 --> 00:26:00,725
Russos always
have each other's backs.
529
00:26:01,309 --> 00:26:03,311
-Well, don't blow it, J-Man.
-[sighs]
530
00:26:08,650 --> 00:26:10,485
I've missed this.
[chuckles softly]
531
00:26:16,074 --> 00:26:18,285
"Don't blow it, J-Man."
What'd she mean by that?
532
00:26:19,327 --> 00:26:20,745
Uh, well, I, uh...
533
00:26:21,705 --> 00:26:23,081
I think we should get started.
[chuckles]
534
00:26:23,748 --> 00:26:28,044
♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪
41355
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