Original subtitles

Okay. Bienvenidos.

Welcome back to the second half of our

Cinco de Mayo Horror Fiesta.

I feel like the mayor of Piedras Negras tonight,

leading people into the back alleys of Mexican culture,

because -- You ever been to Piedras Negras, Darcy?

I don't think I even know where that is.

It's the border town across the Rio Grande

from Eagle Pass, Texas.

Sure. Everyone knows where that is.

No, it's the birthplace of the nacho.

Oh, yeah!

Then of course I've been there. Of course.

[Laughter]

Because when you drive into Piedras Negras --

And I never drive in.

I always park on the American side and walk over.

But when you enter Piedras Negras,

at first, it looks pretty much like every Mexican border town.

It has the walk-up hotels. It has the rundown cathedral.

It has the souvenir shops.

It has those little boxy offices

that say "Dentista" and "Abogado" on the sign.

What is the connection between dentists and lawyers?

All you see is dentist, lawyer, dentist, lawyer.

dentist, law-- Why do they have so many dentists and lawyers

right where you enter border towns?

Oh, I know the answer to that, actually.

You do?

Because I get all my dental work done in Mexico.

You're kidding.Mnh-mnh.

They have really good dentists that work for a fraction

of the cost of what you would pay here.

Like, a big difference.

Where do you do this?Tijuana, baby.

Tijuana? That is hardcore, Darce.

Isn't that one of the major cartel cities?

Isn't there a cartel called the Tijuana Cartel?

I mean, maybe,

but it's worth it for those dental prices.

What about the abogados?

Do you get all your legal work done in Tijuana also?

I have no idea about the lawyers. Sorry.

Anyway, when you enter Piedras Negras,

about a block after you pass the border guard --

There's only one border guard.

He's probably watching TV in his little booth.

They don't really pay much attention to you.

You see this flapping banner up on top of an adobe-and-tile

building, and it says

"Bienvenidos a Piedras Negras la cuna de nacho,"

which means, "Welcome to Piedras Negras,

birthplace of the nacho."

Well, who can resist that?

I mean, of all tourism images that you would want to

project for your city,

that's the one that they choose, you know?

So what a cool city.

Piedras Negras is the "Last Drive-in" of

Mexican border towns.

They went for the geekiest pop-culture totem

as a way to say, "Let's party," you know?

So, isn't that what we do here?

I think so.So I couldn't resist.

The first time I saw it, I went on a mission

to find the place where that first nacho was made.

You did not.I did.

[Laughs] Nerd.Super-nerd.

I mean, it turned out to be this restaurant

called the El Moderno.

And I spent a lot of time there.

And it's actually really -- It's kind of a fancy restaurant.

You wouldn't expect the birthplace of the nacho

to be that fancy, but this restaurant is decorated

like somebody's idea of a

Miami supper club around 1948 or something.

It has a piano player in a tuxedo,

and he's playing songs like "The Last Time I Saw Paris."

And I got so wasted on margaritas,

because sometimes, I forget

when you order a margarita in Mexico,

it's 17 parts tequila, 15 parts triple sec,

and 1/10 of one part lime juice.

I mean, they do not water down the drinks in Mexico.

And so after a certain point,

I realized I had already eaten all the nachos.

I went there to order nachos, you know?

So, I'd already eaten all the nachos I ordered,

and I didn't remember the nachos.

I was going to -- I was planning to write --

you know, write about it, talk about it.

So I had to order more.

Okay, that is one of the worst stories you ever told.

I'm sorry.

But I'm going to relate this to the movie, I promise.

I doubt it, but go ahead.

Alright. See, I love border towns.

When you grow up in Texas, you learn all the border towns.

And the ones on the Mexican side are always much cooler

than the ones on the American side, like Ojinaga.

Have you ever heard of that one?

You can park on the sidewalk and have kids bring you

cervezas,you know, or Nogales --

The bartender at the Cafe Ajijic

will run bets over to the sports casino for you if you tip him.

So, anyway, I knew there was some kind of legend

that the godfather of the nacho

lived in Piedras Negras or something.

But until I saw that banner, I didn't have any idea

that it was a source of civic pride.

So I popped into the office underneath the banner,

and they had some faded brochures there

that seemed to be promoting some Catholic shrine.

It wasn't -- The Catholic shrine

wasn't even in Piedras Negras.

It was in Guerrero or somewhere.

And, so, after a few minutes, the actual

Directora de Turismo came out to greet me.

The actual director of tourism in Piedras Negras.

And she kept apologizing for her broken English,

but she wanted to impress me with the wonders

of Piedras Negras.

And so she says, "You know, most important for our town

is that the nacho was born here.

And the 1st of October, we crown a nacho queen for that year."

And so I told her -- I said, "I'm sorry.

I'm going to miss the crowning of the Nacho Queen."

But I was very impressed that the actual director of tourism

comes out to greet this random visitor.

So, she gives me this brochure, but it was in Spanish,

but it had a cartoon drawing of a talking nacho,

and it was really cool.

And I puzzle through the text of it,

but all it says is "Home of the nacho."

And in October, they cook the world's largest nacho

every October and they eat it.

And I said, "But I want to know the origin story

so I can, like, write about this and talk about it."

And she says, "Well, this man named Ignacio,

nicknamed 'Nacho' invented it."

And it was -- And she says, "I think it was in the '40s."

And, so, I didn't like her saying "I think,"

like she didn't know the true, authentic story.

And, so, she sends out for another guy

and another guy and another guy.

Eight hours later, I end up at Moderno.

I finally found out, okay, it's at this place.

It's at Moderno.

And I'm saying, "You got to spill

the true nacho origin story."

Okay, long story short.

Too late for that, baby.Alright.

Long story short, they don't really know

the origin story at Moderno other than that's the restaurant

where the first nacho was created, because Moderno --

it has a canopied entrance way.

It leads to this hallway,

and it has a big Great Buddha in the hallway.

Well, Buddhas don't really give you that

"I'm in Mexico feeling," you know?

And then the dining area has all these mirrors,

like Hugh Hefner's bedroom.

And the decor is a mixture of orange, blue, and red

that reminds you of a velvet painting.

And -- But the great thing is, the waiters --

they swarm your table like a tuxedo army.

One thing that's never bad in Mexico is service, man.

And the waiters -- they all want you to eat

this super-sized bass that they serve there,

which seems to be some kind of local specialty fattened up

by whatever grows at the bottom of the Rio Grande.

I don't know what it is.

And so they're disappointed when I'm interested

just in the four varieties of nachos on the menu.

And I finally say to the waiter, "I want nachos,

but I want the 'la cuna de nacho' nacho, whatever that is."

And I see this expression on his face like, "Oh, God!

It's one of those guys who want the 1940 nacho,"

which is very accurate.

That is what I was there to do.

Except it turns out to be a 1939 nacho,

which I will explain in just a minute.

So, before I tell you what it tasted like,

because I know you're waiting for that revelation, Darcy.

I am waiting for so many things,

and that is not one of them.

Well, none of the waiters knew the actual story,

so I had to -- I hit every beer joint,

saddle shop, liquor wholesaler,

purveyor of garden pottery in all of Piedras Negras.

And, finally, I find one of those markets

that has the giant Day of the Dead

zombie sculptures

and the masked Mexican wrestler toys

and those blue -- You know those blue cobalt glasses

that are so thick you could

fracture a coyote skull with them?

It's like -- And this place is surrounded

by these loud pool halls, where there's fistfights,

and those blow-your-face-off mariachi bands are everywhere

and what they call ladies bars,

which is -- it's these old-fashioned wooden saloons.

They look just like saloons in the Old West,

where a pretty rough crowd guzzles beer

while watching strippers, you know?

And so, finally, I'm in this bar called Bar.

That's all it said on the sign.

And this old-timer says, "I know the story of the nacho.

I can tell you."

And, you know, if the nacho had been born in America,

they would have had the whole story

on a historic plaque, right?

In a hipster coffee shop or something.

But I like that Mexico sticks to the oral traditions.

You have to go find the guy. So, here's the story.

This had better be fucking amazing.

Okay. Here's the story.

In 1939, a party of hunters wander into Moderno

at 1:00 in the morning, which is not so strange

because Piedras Negras is surrounded by hunting lodges,

where people go to shoot dove and pheasant and deer and turkey

and quail and wild pig.

Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

[Laughter]

How could you possibly be paying

that close attention to -- Are you waiting your entire life

to say "Hogzilla" because I mentioned a pig?

And, also, you can shoot mountain lion down there.

And so --

You can kill mountain lions in Mexico?

You can actually hunt mountain lions in Texas.

You don't have to go to Mexico to do that.

But that's not the point.

That is terrible.What? Shooting lions and pigs?

Shooting anything for sport is bad.

Okay. Alright.

You want me to ever finish this story?

I mean, not really.

Pigs bother me just as much as lions do.

Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

Are you doing that? Are you doing that on purpose?

Are you mentioning that -- Because we're talking wild pigs,

javelinas.

Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

It doesn't matter. Any pigs.

Alright, alright. Look, it's 1939, okay?

Maybe they don't do it anymore.

You just said that they do.Okay.

The hunters come into Moderno after a long day of hunting,

and Ignacio Anaya, who is nicknamed Nacho,

is the only cook on duty,

and he has nothing to serve these hunters.

So he takes some corn tortillas

and he cuts them four ways and he fries them.

And then he puts a piece of jalapeño pepper

on each piece

and he puts a huge chunk of Wisconsin cheese.

Now, the guy telling the story said,

"It has to be Wisconsin cheese.

If it's not Wisconsin cheese, it's not a real nacho,"

which is kind of strange, because Wisconsin is like

a million miles away, up by Canada.

And is Wisconsin cheese really a thing?

I mean, I know they make a lot of cheese, but --

Oh, my God, dude.

Aren't the different Wisconsin cheeses

named according to where the cheeses come from

or what color they are or something besides just,

you know, "made in Wisconsin"?

I don't know. But, anyway, that's Wisconsin cheese.

But, anyway, so, Nacho, the maker, uses Wisconsin cheese,

and then Ignacio makes this concoction in the oven.

And, viola, the nacho is born.

So, at Moderno today, if you ask for nachos "the old way,"

they have them just like that.

Holy shit.

There better be more to that story.

Darcy, I am describing the birth of the

heaviest, unhealthiest snack food ever devised.

Pure cholesterol, both fried and baked,

and smothered in the richest dairy product on the continent.

I loved it, of course, you know,

especially with the Patrón margarita

that they will serve right along with it.

So, by 1:00 a.m., I'm asking the piano player

to do "My Way" in Spanish.

And, you know, I'm ordering a Cohiba,

which, in Piedras Negras, a Cohiba is 8 bucks.

And you can smoke the Cohiba while you're eating nachos

and drinking Patrón.

You cannot do that in America.

Does it get any better than that?

I don't think so.

That's very you.Alright.

Are you are you done now?I think so.

Are you done?

Yes.

Okay.Sí.

What does that unending nacho rant

have to do with the movie tonight?

Okay.

This movie was inspired

by the Texas border town of Juárez.

Are there nachos in this movie?

No.That's it?

The Juárez Drug Cartel

has been featured in two series on AMC,

"Breaking Bad" and "Better Call Saul."

But Issa López, the director of tonight's movie,

noticed something that was rarely talked about

in the writers' room for those two shows.

Issa López noticed

that they never followed the orphans on the streets,

who had their own gangs and their own ways of surviving,

because beyond the tens of thousands of dead people

created by the drug wars,

there were all these kids out there who had no place to go

because their parents were executed.

And she was especially aware of the child gangs in Juárez,

and that led her to write and direct

"Tigers Are Not Afraid."

And Issa is a horror fan.

I don't know that she's a Mutant,

but she does follow our Twitter

and she sometimes chimes in with observations and insights.

So, she did a really brave thing with this movie.

Horror films can come from two places --

real violence and supernatural violence.

Issa López says, "Why not both?"

So she takes the horror of the real world

and she combines it with the horror of fairy tales

and she -- Because it's about kids.

And she creates this movie

that comes back to haunt you long after you've seen it.

And it was a movie that nobody wanted to make.

Fortunately for us, Issa was well-known in Mexico

as a comedy writer -- not just a comedy writer,

but a writer of very popular romantic comedies, rom-coms.

The very first movie she wrote, in 2003, was called

"Ladies' Night," and it was the most successful

Mexican film of that year

and the fifth-highest-grossing Mexican film in history.

And when she finally got her chance to direct, in 2006,

she made a film called "Efectos Secundarios,"

about four women going through mid-life crises

as they relive their high-school graduation party.

And that movie became

the second-highest-grossing film of that year

and it won 12 nominations for the Mexican Film Press Award

and two nominations for the Ariel,

which is Mexico's Oscar.

And then her second directing effort,

"Casi Divas," in 2008, was about four women who enter a contest

to replace a popular character in a telenovela,

which is the most popular form of entertainment

in Mexico -- soap opera -- and in the course of that story,

the script deals with food disorders,

plastic surgery, sexual harassment,

casting couches, racism,

all these issues, gender discrimination.

And that was an incredibly popular film.

But now she wanted to do something

that she really cared about.

She didn't want to do the rom-coms anymore.

So she started writing this movie

about orphan child gangs in cartel towns,

even though she knew nobody was going to want to do a story

that real, much less a horror film that real.

And she said she knew nobody would pay her to write that,

and so she wrote one scene each morning

before she got out of bed.

She would not allow herself to get out of bed.

She would just take the laptop over to the bed

and she wouldn't let herself get out of bed

until the scene was written.

And then she went to the producers

of her very successful rom-coms and she said,

"Look, you're not going to want to make this.

Nobody else is going to want to make this.

But I'm going to take this to everybody in Mexico

and everybody else in the world who has money

and might want to make it, and if someone does make it,

I'm also going to give them all my future comedies."

And so her producer said, "Okay, we'll make it.

And, so, but that was just the beginning of her problems.

The movie relies on child actors

and on the imaginative use of animals

and on special effects that she couldn't afford.

Children, animals, effects -- three things they tell you

to never put in a low-budget movie.

She did it anyway.

And the result is the kind of movie

we do not often show on "The Last Drive-in,"

but a powerful experience in the genre

that they call magical realism,

which I know is an overused term.

People usually say a film is magical realism

if it, "A," comes from Latin America,

"B," it has something to do with the style

of Gabriel García Márquez, the great Colombian novelist,

who wrote "100 Years of Solitude,"

and, "C," it has the kind of surprising images

that Guillermo del Toro uses.

And this movie qualifies on all those fronts,

but it also has its own quirky style

that kind of defies description.

You can't summarize it because it's so visual.

You cannot do a plot synopsis because anything you said

in a plot synopsis would sound mundane

compared to what you see on the screen.

If you have not seen it, prepare to be amazed,

and that's all I'm going to say,

except let's look at those "Drive-in" totals.

We have...

Before that became a real thing on the border.

Driving Academy Award nominations for

for Juan Ramón López as Shine, the little-boy gang leader

who says he will eat you in a satanic ritual,

Paola Lara as Estrella,

the orphaned girl searching for her mom for kickin' narco ass,

and Issa López, the writer/director,

for going into that dark place and not letting us out.

4 stars, Joe Bob says. Check it out.

So, Darcy, I have to warn you,

if you get kidnapped by the Tijuana Cartel

while you're doing your dental work,

you know, "The Last Drive-in"

probably does not have enough money

to pay your ransom down there.

It's worth the risk.

You know, you're basically saying,

"If I don't have perfect teeth, I don't want to live," you know?

I'm saying Mexico is doing the world

a service by providing complicated dentistry

at an affordable price.

Do you at least take a bodyguard when you go there?

I go with my friend, but I wouldn't say he could

face down the cartel or anything.

Okay. Well, we'll put a little altar

in the trailer park in your memory.

Aww! That's so sweet.

Darcy, don't go to Tijuana.

I love Mexico, but do not go to Tijuana.

I'm going.

♪♪

♪♪

[Bell jingles]

♪♪

[Bell jingles]

[Indistinct talking]

[Tiger snarls]

[Tiger growling]

[Tiger growls]

[Indistinct talking]

♪♪

[Horn beeps in distance]

♪♪

[Urinating]

[Muttering]

[Clack]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Gunfire]

[Children screaming]

♪♪

[Chittering]

♪♪

[Metal pounding, glass breaking, gunfire, children screaming]

[Breathing shakily]

♪♪

[Gunfire continues]

[Car alarms wailing]

[Gunshot]

[Children screaming in distance]

♪♪

[Radio chatter]

[Indistinct talking]

[Door opens]

[Woman speaking Spanish on TV]

¿Mama?

[Siren wailing]

[Indistinct talking]

[Screaming, gunfire]

[Tiger growls, snarls]

[Gulps]

[Tiger snarling, growling]

♪♪

[Indistinct talking]

♪♪

[Sighs]

♪♪

♪♪

[Rooster crows]

[Line ringing]

[Tone rings]

♪♪

[Tones ring]

[Click]

[Siren wailing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Dog barking]

♪♪

[Dogs barking]

♪♪

[Bell clanging]

[Horn beeps]

[Dogs barking]

♪♪

[Siren wailing in distance]

No! No! [Laughs]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Door opens]

♪♪

[Dogs barking]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

¿Mama?

♪♪

[Jingling]

[Gasps]

[High-pitched scream]

♪♪

[Door opens]

[Breathing heavily]

¿Mama?

[Door creaks, slams]

[Panting]

[Dogs barking]

♪♪

[Indistinct talking]

♪♪

[Engine starts]

♪♪

♪♪

[Bell clangs]

♪♪

[Bell clangs]

♪♪

[Bell clangs]

♪♪

[Man speaking Spanish on TV]

♪♪

[Dogs barking]

♪♪

♪♪

[Clanking]

[Growling]

[Dogs barking]

Shh!

[Crickets chirping]

[Gasping]

♪♪

[Screams]

No.

[Clunk]

[Dog barks]

♪♪

[Birds chirping]

[Chickens clucking]

[Vehicle approaches]

[Gasps]

♪♪

[Tires screech]

♪♪

[Engine shuts off]

♪♪

[Grunts]

[Dog barks]

♪♪

[Clatter]

♪♪

♪♪

[Gunshots]

♪♪

Shine!Shine!

[Gun cocks]

♪♪

Okay, here's a dilemma for an 11 year old girl

that's never been dealt with in an after school special, has it?

What impresses me most about the scene construction here

is the way Issa Lopez has combined very childlike things

with very scary adult things

and related it all to those fairy tales about children

who have to run away or else they'll get eaten.

And showing kids in the real world

who have to run away or else they'll get eaten.

You know, one question people ask

when they watch this movie is, are those child actors or not?

Because they never seem to be acting.

And the answer is yes and no.

They had an open casting call,

but Issa Lopez's instructions to the casting director were,

I want kids who are uncontaminated by training.

Meaning kids who had not worked in telenovelas

and learned that style.

When children first start acting,

they have a kind of singsongy way of talking that corresponds

to what they think adults expect them to do.

So, Lopez auditioned about 600 kids,

and she selected five of them for these roles,

and she never showed any of them the script.

They worked through the movie scene by scene,

with the children never knowing what came next.

But before they ever started shooting,

she put the kids in a six week workshop

run by a woman she calls a, quote, tiny, powerful tyrant,

a Brazilian coach named Fatima Toledo,

who is famous for working with children.

And she uses a technique called bioenergetics.

And what it means, basically,

is that she taught them not to act,

just to feel.

So she went through a series of exercises with the kids,

opening them up to their vulnerability,

and then turned them over to Issa Lopez

to give motivations for the individual scenes.

Because as you'll see,

Nery Arredondo, the actor who plays Morro,

the youngest kid with the plush tiger

who tries to give Estrella an animal cracker

and never speaks because of what he saw happen to his mother --

that kid's performance is just as full as the others

without any dialog whatsoever.

Juan Ramon Lopez, the kid playing Shine,

the leader of the gang, even though he's

so, so small in stature,

he had a foster care background,

and he was so committed

that when he went into a rage,

they often had to deal with the rage after the scene was over.

They had to calm him back down and get him into a safe space.

So it's the same thing they do in the old school

Meisner technique of one of the method systems in New York City,

when they teach you to leave yourself alone,

let the camera find you.

But with grown ups, it takes years

for many actors to open up like that;

with these kids, six weeks -- six weeks.

So the kids in the in the gang range from age six to age 14.

And I thought this was really interesting

what Issa Lopez had to say about casting the movie this way,

she said, "I think everyone in this country

feels a bit like these children,"

meaning out of control,

having to make decisions that no one should have to make.

And then Guillermo del Toro,

who became a friend of Issa Lopez

and a collaborator after this movie came out,

he said something even more interesting.

He said, "By the time somebody snorts cocaine at a party,

he has already killed ten people."

Because all of the misery in this movie

comes directly from the narcotics trade,

which, let's face it, is funded by people in other countries.

All right. We're at the turning point of the first act,

the scene that sets us off on a horrific journey.

So let's get back to the flick. Roll the film.

And I know you're not a fan of CGI, Darcy, but...

They have one CGI image in this movie that I really like and --

I don't hate CGI.

I just think there's a place for it.

Well, the blood trail.

The literal blood trail following you through life

and occasionally getting ahead of you

and showing you your future, I love that part of it.

You really love this movie?I do love it,

even though it's wrenching.

Wrenching.

Well, people say "heart wrenching,"

but this movie is just wrenching.

It wrenches everything out of you.

I know what you mean.And, um...

Also, wishing you could find your mother,

but then finding your mother.

You know, that -- That's so good.

Tan bueno. [ Chuckles ]

Don't do that.

Do what?Speak Spanish.

All right. But it's Cinco de Mayo.

But your Spanish is Stink-o de Mayo.

All right, very good.I got cheesy jokes, too.

All right. Muy divertido.Dude, stop.

Okay.Thank you.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Spanish-language broadcast on television]

♪♪

♪♪

[Television audio distorting]

♪♪

[Gunshot]

[Squelching, hissing]

♪♪

♪♪

[Clattering]

♪♪

♪♪

[Engine rumbling, car alarms blaring]

♪♪

Morro! Morro!

♪♪

♪♪

[Car alarms fade]

♪♪

[Siren wailing in distance]

♪♪

[Boys speaking Spanish]

♪♪

[Men speaking Spanish, gunshot]

[Changes channel, music video playing]

[Boys laugh]

[Cellphone ringing]

[Music video continues]

[Coughing]

[Faint shrieking]

♪♪

♪♪

[Raspy breath]

[Insect buzzes]

[Reggaeton song playing]

♪♪

[Song continues on radio]

♪♪

[Coughing, indistinct chatter, music in background]

[Whistles sharply, answered with whistle]

[Chuckling, laughter]

[Snickering]

[Dramatic chord]

[Thud, notes strike]

[Gasping, whimpering]

♪♪

[Bird cooing]

[Chatter, laughter]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Sniffling]

[Soft sobbing]

♪♪

[Cellphone ringing]

[Man on line]

Boys: Shine!

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[All cheering]

♪♪

[Spanish-language song playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Air hissing]

♪♪

That abandoned building that the kids break into

is an actual abandoned hotel that was never opened.

This crazy businessman kept building it

and adding to it for years and years.

And then he gave up and it just sat there

in central Mexico City, half built and half fallen down,

waiting for the Shine/Estrella gang to show up

and play soccer,

writin' their names and numbers on their backs --

that was the idea of the children.

They made all kinds of little contributions to the script

after they got into their characters.

When the kids talk about the Huascas,

that's a made up name for the cartel in this fictional town.

But as I pointed out before, Issa Lopez was

originally inspired by stories from the streets of Juárez

and of all the cartels -- the Tijuana cartel, Sinaloa,

Guadalajara, the Gulf cartel.

Actually, the Juárez cartel, over the years,

has been the most violent, the nastiest,

the most heartless.

They're the arch rivals of the more famous Sinaloa cartel,

and they specialize in decapitations,

mass executions, mutilation of bodies --

they like to send messages with with mutilations,

and, you know, the death of children

would not bother them at all.

Of course, the Huascas are based on all the cartels

because their culture of gun violence and gangsterism

could not exist without the cooperation

of politicians like Chino, the one in this movie,

and the local police.

So, when you live in a drug culture,

there's all kinds of collateral damage.

It's like a cancer.

So the fear of the Huascas coming to carry you away,

that can mean many things, and none of them are good.

The Huascas are like an army of winged demons.

They're always out there ready to sweep in and get you.

Okay, Darcy, while we're here at the "calm before the storm"

part of the movie, um,

I remembered that we sort of abandoned our tribute

to Mexican cuisine.

I was sort of doing it at every break for a while there,

but I wanted to do one more --[Sighs] I remember.

What is your position on the margarita?

I can take it or leave it, honestly.

Okay. Well, just like the nacho,

the margarita was invented in a Texas border town.

In fact, it was invented right there in Juárez in 1942,

three years after the nacho, by a bartender

working at Tommy's Place bar named Francisco Morales.

But everybody called him Pancho.

And what happened was a woman came in

and she ordered a magnolia,

and Pancho couldn't remember how to make a magnolia,

but he did remember that a magnolia contained Cointreau.

So he grabbed one of those orange bottles

that Cointreau comes in.

He mixed it with tequila and lime juice.

He rubbed some salt on the rim of the cocktail glass and viola!

Yet another classic is made with foreign ingredients --

because you can't get much more French than Cointreau.

But the Margarita is is one of those drinks

that varies a lot from bar to bar,

you know, restaurant to restaurant

'cause how much Cointreau, how much tequila,

how much other stuff --

'cause people do put other stuff in there.

So I took the liberty of making two perfect ones.

The old way, which is:

two-thirds tequila, one-third Cointreau,

minimal salt on the rim, lots of lime juice.

You're going to do it with me?

Why not? All right.All right.

I even did the little umbrella.

Okay.Aren't you impressed?

It's beautiful.

Okay.

To Issa Lopez, our featured writer-director

on Cinco de Mayo.

Yay.

Mmm!

And to Tommy's Bar!

Gonna drink -- we're going to do another toast.

Are we done?And to Tommy's Bar.

Which went the way of all bars named after people.

Because Tommy's dead...Aww.

And so is the bar.

That wasn't -- That was a bad toast, man.

I know, I...

Lost my way in the middle of the toast.

I could tell. What the hell, dude?

[Coughs] All right.

Back to the movie.Phew!

All right. Oh...

We haven't had a break dedicated

to the chalupa yet.

We have not.

Because most people don't -- they don't know what a ch--

a real chalupa is, because of Taco Bell.

And I guess you're going to correct Taco Bell now, huh?

Well, yes, because the word "chalupa,"

It means flat bottom boat.

So it's supposed to resemble a flat bottom boat,

a little corn cup with sides on it, like a boat.

Not the way Taco Bell turns the chalupa

just into a folded taco.

Fascinating.

In Cholula...Mm-hmm?

Where many people believe that the chalupa was invented,

they only use salsa, cheese and shredded lettuce, nothing else.

So the chalupa from Cholula is kind of unknown in America.

And I think we've covered Mexican food for tonight.

Thank you. All right. Well, I'll check my notes,

because I don't --Don't check your notes.

Where is Cholula, Darcy?

Is that an actual question?

Cholula is part of metropolitan Puebla --

and the Battle of Puebla is what we're celebrating tonight.

You're going back to that? That was hours ago!

You can never spend enough time examining the Battle of Puebla.

Agreed.Agreed?

Agreed.You do not agree.

No, I don't.

You just want to shut me up.I do.

Okay. Mission accomplished.

Mission completa.

[Laughter]

♪♪

[Wind chimes clanging]

[Thunder crashing]

♪♪

[Groans]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Rain pattering]

♪♪

♪♪

[Rain stops, insects chirping, dogs barking]

[Boy snarls]

[Grunting]

[Rooster crowing]

[Bell dings]

♪♪

♪♪

Mm...

♪♪

[Voice echoing]

♪♪

[Wind rustles, ominous music]

♪♪

[Panting]

[Dings]

[Humming]

[Beat-boxing]

[Dings]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Groaning]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Screams]

[Screaming]

[Gunshot, screams]

[Pained panting]

No!

♪♪

♪♪

[Knife sticks, groans]

♪♪

[Gunshots, pained groaning]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Groaning, grunting]

[Sobbing]

[Shimmering]

[Gunshot]

[Line ringing]

[Sobbing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Ominous music]

♪♪

[Soft roar, purring]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Creaking, chittering]

♪♪

Well, Issa Lopez was not kidding when she said,

"I like a story that starts bleak,

gets bleaker, and ends in hell."

Of all the rough scenes in the film,

the death of Morro -- Morrito --

the little boy with the toy tiger who can't speak --

that one kind of rips your guts out.

She has truly taken us into the land of the dead here.

When they started shooting the film,

the actors playing Estrella and Shine --

Paola Lara and Juan Ramon Lopez --

they didn't really like each other.

Juan grew up in southern Mexico in extreme poverty

after losing both parents.

Paola was only 11 when they filmed the movie.

She was from the lower middle class,

but she was pampered by her family,

so she had a little bit of a princess complex

which made the other kids hate her,

and that made her feel out of control and vulnerable,

which worked for the film.

And so Issa Lopez told her, "Look, you can do this,

And at the end of it, you will be a warrior."

So -- but the mutual dislike of Juan and Paola

worked for the early scenes.

But then as they grow closer in their acting,

they become one character -- or, as Issa Lopez put it,

Shine is Peter Pan and Estrella is Wendy.

Issa Lopez started her adult life as an archeologist,

and then she changed direction.

She enrolled in the film directing program

at the National University Film School.

She followed that up with a two year graduate program

at Televisa,

which is not a bad place to study

since it's the largest producer

of Spanish language content in the world.

Her first actual job as a director

was on Mexican Sesame Street.

After that, she became a screenwriter

of romantic comedies

because she said that's all they would let women write.

She'd had what she describes as a difficult childhood.

And what kept her going was science fiction,

horror, comic books,

especially after her mother died when she was eight

and she became an orphan herself.

Fortunately, her rom-coms were successful

and so she moved to L.A. as part of a development deal

to continue her career, only to discover

nobody in L.A. cared about her success in Mexico,

so she couldn't get a directing job for five years.

Once again, she ended up writing Spanish-language

rom-coms to make ends meet,

but then she had a horrible romantic breakup,

then her father died,

then she had to euthanize her dog.

And while feeling totally out of control in her own life,

she wrote this script.

And as I mentioned before,

she knew it would be virtually impossible

to finance this movie.

But she leveraged her popularity in Mexico

to sort of force her regular producers

to finance it for about $1.3 million.

One thing people don't realize about the Mexican film industry

is that it is totally controlled by unions,

and the unions are almost all male,

and it's extremely difficult for a woman

to break in at any level,

much less become writer/director of a major movie.

She said her way of dealing with the situation

was make the men think you need them.

And apparently that system worked here

because she ended up with some beautiful,

unforgettable images

courtesy of the top notch cinematographer

Juan Jose Saravia.

And if you'll notice, the camera is frequently handheld

and it's often obscured

so that you can only see part of the action.

It was her attempt to make the audience

the sixth member of the gang,

and emotionally it creates a sort of jumpy, nervous vibe.

All right, we're getting a little too talky

at the most dramatic point in the movie, aren't we?

Um, "we"?

okay, well, you aren't saying much at all.

You -- you haven't even commented

on my suit of lights,

my whole outfit here.

Honestly, people get a little upset

when it looks like cultural appropriation.

Oh, no. I mean, is that what I'm doing?

It's a tribute to Mexico.

It could be seen that way.

Okay. A lot of the Western wear that I buy

is purchased at mariachi shops.

Is that cultural appropriation?

Probably.No! I mean, I can't help it

if Mexicans dress better than we do.

Plus, I think most of what we call Western wear in the U.S.

came from the vaqueros of old Mexico.

So, I mean, do you want me to apologize

if I wear a guayabera or something?

I don't think so, but some people would.

Okay, well, see, this is why the world is screwed up.

We need more cultural appropriation.

Actually, we need more cultural cooperation

when we -- when we love some -- somebody else's culture.

It's a tribute to their culture. Right?

I agree with you. I'm just warning you.

Okay. I'm warned. Back to the movie.

Okay.So, um...

If I decided, hey, I'm going to wear a French beret,

would that be wrong?

Because it belongs to the French.

I'm not French.

Well, I think the French encourage it, actually.

You know why the French encourage it?

Why?Nobody wants to wear a French beret.

True.

♪♪

Boys: Shine?! Shine?! Shine?!

[Ominous music]

♪♪

[Creaking, hissing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Cacophony crescendos]

[Clattering]

[Quiet]

[Snarling]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Shimmering]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Rumbling]

[Clattering]

[Splashes]

♪♪

[Purring, grunts]

♪♪

♪♪

[Electricity buzzing]

[Vehicle approaching]

♪♪

[Shimmering]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Indistinct conversation]

[Ringtone playing]

[Ringtone playing]

[Ringtone playing]

[Ringtone stops]

♪♪

♪♪

[Grunting]

[Gunshot] No!

[Gunshot]

[Gunshot]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

The actor playing Chino,

the corrupt politician in league with the Huascas,

he's so famous in Mexico

he's known by his first name only -- Tenoch.

Tenoch Huerta has been in a lot of the narco films,

sort of the opposite of this film

because they tend to glorify the violent cultures of the cartels.

But at any rate, he absolutely terrified the kids in the cast.

And Issa Lopez didn't really step in to correct that.

Because, you know, they're supposed to be terrified

in the scenes -- anyway, great scene.

Tenoch Huerta was actually criticized recently

for being in "Black Panther: Wakanda Forever,"

because that was considered selling out

to United States values.

You know, they have a Spanish word for that: Malinchismo,

which means making everyone cringe

because you have respect for a foreign culture --

cultural appropriation, I guess.

Like I'm making Darcy cringe by wearing this outfit.

Aw, I am not cringing. You look amazing.

Okay, well, you s--

You said I looked amazing in a pink dandy outfit

with pimp shoes when we showed "Nosferatu."

Well, you did, but now

you're admitting those were pimp shoes.

No, those were Biedermeier shoes.

But you have talked about them so much on social media

that everybody calls them pimp shoes now.

Because they're pimp shoes.Anyway.

You can't be trusted. And by the way,

we did not receive a single letter

saying my Biedermeier costume

was culturally expropriating Germany.

Because no one recognized where it came from

or what it even was.

Okay.

Unfortunately, our children in "Tigers Are Not Afraid"

have not quite escaped the terrors of Chino,

as portrayed by Tenoch.

And so we're about to dive into the action-packed

conclusion of "Tigers Are Not Afraid."

Roll the film.

So if we ever do a movie about Vikings?

Actually, I know one we could do.

Roger Corman made a movie called "The Saga of the Viking Women

and Their Voyage to the Waters of the Great Sea Serpent."

You know what it means when you have a title that's that long?

The movie sucks.

Yes. As much as Roger Corman movie can suck,

that one did suck -- however, it had Vikings.

In fact, it had a lot of Viking women

wearing not much of anything at all.

Which would seem to be counterintuitive,

since don't all Vikings live in extremely cold places?

But anyway, if we showed that movie,

I could wear a Viking costume

like the guys in that Netflix series.

I forget. What was the name of that series on on Netflix?

"Vikings"?

Oh. Yeah. "Vikings." Okay. Yeah.

It has Viking characters.

I'm not sure if it's on Netflix.

But it's a Canadian series called "Vikings."

Just "Vikings."Oh, okay.

So my question is, would we get letters from Denmark and Norway

and Iceland saying,

"Stop culturally expropriating us"?

I was in a Viking...

I doubt it.And why not?

Because that culture is like a thousand years ago.

Yeah, but there are a bunch of Nordic death metal bands

that believe they are the Vikings.

Well, they don't care about cultural expropriation.

Why not?

'Cause they don't care about anything.

They're hard core.Oh, okay. Yeah, right.

So I'm safe wearing a spangenhelm.

A what?One of those helmets with horns on it.

Oh, yeah. Totally safe.And a tunic.

And wear a tunic.

That's fine.With a Robin Hood belt.

Can I put a Robin Hood hood belt on it?

What's a Robin Hood belt?A rope.

You know, like a rope on the...

Oh, yeah. Go for it.And a battle ax.

I want to carry a battle ax. Can I do that?

That's hot. Do it.

And nobody's going to say "stop wearing our stuff"?

No, because you'll be the only one.

Well, I'm not going to walk down Fifth Avenue.

I mean, I'd get arrested for brandishing a battle ax

if I walked down Fifth Avenue.

You might get letters saying "Stop being crazy."

Actually, I might want to walk down Fifth Avenue.

You'd get arrested.For brandishing a battle ax or?

Actually they'd take you straight to Bellevue.

You can be committed now for cultural expropriation?

No, we can be committed for being

a nutjob in a Viking outfit.

Okay. Right.Warning.

I won't do that.

♪♪

[Panting]

♪♪

[Woman whimpering]

[Gunshot]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Ringtone playing]

[Gunshot, Shine grunts]

[Gunshot]

[Gunshot]

♪♪

♪♪

[Sobbing, panting]

[Ringtone playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Grunting]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Gasps]

[Purring]

♪♪

[Chirps]

♪♪

[Clattering]

[Gags, coughs, flies buzzing]

[Estrella shuddering, tiger whimpers]

[Estrella coughs, gags]

[Lighter flicking]

[Chord strikes, Estrella gasps]

♪♪

[Shuddering]

[Flies buzzing, Estrella sobbing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Ringtone playing]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Low shrieking]

[Banging, Chino screaming]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[Flames roaring]

♪♪

♪♪

[Grunting]

♪♪

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♪♪

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♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

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♪♪

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So, is there hope at the end?

I choose to believe there is hope at the end of that movie.

Paola Lara, by the way, the girl playing Estrella,

she was in the same room with that tiger,

and Shine's original explanation

of how wild animals got onto the streets?

That's actually based in fact:

one of the drug lords had an exotic animal zoo

on the grounds of his mansion.

And when he was assassinated, all the animals got loose

and roamed the streets for a while.

Very powerful ending.

When the movie was over,

the actor playing Shine had to say goodbye

to the actress playing Estrella.

And even though they had been at odds during most of the movie,

he started to cry because he was headed

back to Oaxaca, where he lives.

I also wanted to mention that for the burial scene of Morrito,

Issa Lopez didn't want the children

to actually carry his body for fear they would drop him.

So she used a dummy,

and the kids were extremely upset by that.

They wanted to carry Morrito, the actual body.

So she had a case of total method actors

by the time this thing was done.

Once editing was complete on the movie,

Issa Lopez expected to take it

to one of the major festivals, right?

I mean, the movie has festival written all over it.

But she was rejected by Venice,

then she was rejected by Toronto,

then she was rejected by Sundance,

then she was rejected by Cannes.

Then she was rejected by Tribeca.

Rejected by South by Southwest.

Finally, she said, You know what?

Hey, what about genre festivals?

She submitted to Fantastic Fest in Austin --

the festival founded by the guys at Alamo Drafthouse.

And she was accepted right away

and the movie was launched.

All this time, she'd been trying to get Guillermo del Toro

to watch the movie, but he would --

he never watched it until a critic in Austin

posted a review with the headline,

"The Best Guillermo del Toro Movie He Never Made."

And once he saw it, he did look her up

and they've been collaborating ever since.

We were hoping to have Issa on the show tonight,

but she's busy in Iceland directing a season of

"True Detective" for HBO.Oh, wow!

So, Darcy, your impressions?

Well, it's a really powerful movie,

but it's more social realism than horror.

Well, yeah, but it has all the horror elements.

That's -- that's what's interesting to me about it.

It qualifies, but to me, it's just really, really sad.

I agree, it's a sad movie.

It's kind of shocking that you watch a movie like that

and you see so much reality in it.

But I think what it is --

I'm going to call it a gothic Arthurian legend.

All right. You're going to have to explain that one.

Well, first of all, Estrella has to be initiated like a knight.

You know, the whole thing with taking the gun

and going off to kill the guy.Okay.

And then the second thing is, it's a quest.

It's a quest like the knights had where they were

given a totem to carry on their journey,

and the totem would be that cell phone.

Okay.And then she's guided

by supernatural spirits,

which is another aspect of Arthurian legend.

And then you have the gothic elements

like that pit of the dead,

all those bodies howling for revenge,

and the abandoned ruins.

And these are all gothic things.

So secret messages like trying to figure out

what's really on that cell phone.

It's got several ghosts,

including the ghost of her mother

and the ghost of Morrito and the plush toy.

So that's my final answer: Arthurian Gothic.

And since they're all children,

you could call it Arthurian Gothic "Goonies."

Arthurian Gothic "Goonies"?Yeah!

That's true, because The Goonies are on a quest.

All right, then, I think we've named --

we've named our genre.Okay.

It's still a rough watch, though.

Okay. It's one of those movies that you --

you may not want to see it, but after you see it,

you think you needed to see it.

And then you can't unwatch it.Correctamundo.

Okay, we got mail?We do.

And remember, we have gringo's pinata to take care of.

Oh, the gringo fantastico pinata with --

Yes. By the way, what the hell, you haven't said anything

about my --That's why you're in --

Yes.You are a pinata.

Yes, to be festive -- I mean,

that was a bummer ending. We had to cheer up.

So, yay!Okay.

Festive again!Gringo --

Gringo Fantasticos Pinata.

Which...

May be known as Raimundo.

We're --

We don't know its name.

Okay, but are we going to whack it?

We're going to whack the --

We are definitely going to whack it.

But first, read the letter.

It's from Tricia Coleman of Jacksonville, Florida.

Okay. "Hello there, Joe Bob,

If this is you for real,

I'm sure you can understand my skepticism."

Not really! But okay.It's proof!

She knows now.

Anyway, "I sure hope this is you.

My name is Tricia Coleman,

and I just wanted to let you know how glad I am

to have your Drive-In, show back on the airwaves, so to speak.

It sure has made my year a little brighter and enjoyable

hearing your hilarious rants and smack talk about your movies

all mixed in with some serious movie factoids.

Coincidentally, my full birth middle name is Patricia Coleman.

So yes, I share my name with the actress from the movie 'Habit.'

But of course, no relation.

I'm from Jacksonville, Florida,

yes, home of the film 'Blood Rage'.

Luckily, I never resided in those parts of the area

where the movie was shot.

Oddly enough, by some miracle,

I guess it was an idea during the pandemic,

but the city of Jacksonville has reopened an actual drive-in,

which is run by the people of Sun-Ray Cinema

out in the Five Points area of Riverside, Jacksonville."

I love the Sun-Ray Cinema.

I'm the lowest class act that regularly goes into

the Sun-Ray Cinema.

"My earliest memory of your 'MonsterVision' shows

was of you hosting 'The Wraith,'

one of my all-time favorite '80s movies.

And correct me if I'm wrong, but did you once host

'Killer Klowns from Outer Space' as well?

Both you and Svengoolie are my absolute favorite horror hosts.

I have two inquiring questions for you, Joe Bob.

One, I was watching 'Phantom of the Mall' recently

and I could not help notice that the layout of the mall

looked rather similar to the mall

that was used in 'Chopping malls.'

So my question is, was that the same mall

used to shoot both movies?

Two: If you wanted the choice to sort of rehost a movie

from your 'MonsterVision' and TMC times,

what movie would that be and why?

Well, it was real nice talking to you" -- at length!

"Thank you" -- "Thank you to both of you and Darcy for

all you have been doing in curating and showing movies

I might never have watched if you weren't hosting them.

Hope there are new episodes of 'Last Drive-In' to come.

In a somewhat tainted and tarnished world.

you help make the world a more bearable place to live.

I hope you will enjoy reading this if it does reach you.

Thank you again, Joe Bob.

Take care and God bless.

Sincerely, Tricia Coleman.

P.S." -- I'm not going to read the P.S.

Ah-ha-ha! Read the P.S.No.

Let me answer Tricia's questions.

Okay.

Yes, the Sherman Oaks Galleria

was the mall that was used in both "Phantom of the Mall,"

which we featured on our Valentine's Day show,

and "Chopping Mall," which was our opening movie

for season two?Two.

And if there was a movie I would love to host again,

I would have to say it would be "The Warriors."

Yeah.I love that movie.

Okay, now read the P.S., because it's going to motivate you.

Motivate me to do what?

Motivate you to whack it.

Do you want me to read it?

Yes. You read it.Yeah?

Yeah! Go ahead.

[Laughs]

"P.S. -- Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

Ow! Hogzilla!

Hogzilla! Hogzilla! Hogzilla!

Hog-fuckin'-zilla!

[Laughter]

Holy crap!

Aw, poor pinata.

[Sighs]It looks so sad now.

I do feel better.

Okay. I told you you would.

Sorry, gringo.

Okay. Done.

Buenas noches from "The Last Drive-In."

This is Joe Bob Briggs.

For Darcy the Mail girl,

reminding everybody --

first, I want to remind everybody in the Philly area

that we'll be back at the historic Colonial Theatre

in Phoenixville tomorrow night.

And I was reminded tonight of the law of homicidal restraint.

Many people are alive today

only because it's illegal to kill them.

And the drive-in will never die.

[Sighs]

Masochist says to the sadist, "Please hurt me."

Sadist says, "No."

[Scattered laughter]

That's it?

That's it. That's the joke.

Okay. Okay. One more.

Alcoholic walks into a bar.

What did you expect?

Ugh, so bad, dude.

All right, all right, all right, all right, all right.

A drunk goes to the store to buy more whiskeys.

So he takes a bottle under his jacket,

and he stumbles out the door,

and he careens all over the street.

He's trying to stand up straight.

He finally gets hit by a car. He falls to the ground.

He feels something wet on his side,

puts his hand inside his jacket to see what it is.

He pulls his hand out of his jacket and says,

"Thank God it's only blood."

Wow, you are worse than usual tonight.

I can't finish with that one?

No, you're good.

I mean, I got zero laughs on that.

That was -- that was an all-time low.

I think I told it too fast, you know?

All right.That was it.

Um...

Taster at the winery dies,

and the -- so the winery owner puts out a -- a --

an ad for somebody to replace him.

So, this ragged, dirty wino staggers in drunk,

and he says he wants the job.

And the director of the winery wants to get rid of the guy.

So he gives him one glass to drink

and the drunk tries it and he says,

"Hmm, it's a Muscat.

Three years old, grown on a North slope,

matured in steel containers, low grade but acceptable."

And the boss goes, "Wow, that's exactly right."

Gives him another glass of wine.

Drunk says, "This is a cabernet.

Eight years old, south western slope,

aged in oak barrels, matured at eight degrees.

It requires three more years for the finest result."

The boss says, "That is amazing. That is...

That's also correct."

Gives him one more glass.

He says, "It's a Pinot blanc champagne,

high grade and exclusive."

So the director is astonished by how accurate the guy is.

So he calls his secretary over.

He whispers something to her,

and shortly afterwards, she leaves the room

and she comes back with a glass of urine.

The drunk tries the urine, and he says,

"It's a blond, 26 years old,

three months pregnant --

and if I don't get the job, I'll name the father."

[Scattered laughter]

Man: Wait a minute!

Okay. That's the closer. That's the closer.

Okay, yeah.All right.

Have a shot, Marcy! Darcy!

I feel like you've had enough!

I've had a lot of drinks.No more shots for you, man!

Have a -- h-have two shots.

All right. Viva la Mexico!

Aah.

♪♪

♪♪

-♪ We are drive-in mutants

-♪ Drive-in mutants

-♪ We are not like other people ♪

-♪ Other people

-♪ We are sick -♪ Sick

-♪ We are disgusting -♪ Disgusting

-♪ We believe in

♪ Yeah, we believe in

-♪ Blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

-♪ Yeah, we believe in

-♪ Blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

-♪ If life had a vomit meter

-♪ Vomit meter

-♪ We'd be off the scale

-♪ Off the scale

-♪ As long as one drive-in remains on the planet Earth ♪

♪ We will party like jungle animals ♪

♪♪

♪ We will boogie till we puke

-♪ Boogie till we puke

-♪ The drive-in will never die

♪ We will boogie till we puke

-♪ Boogie till we puke

-♪ The drive-in will never die

-♪ We believe in

♪ Blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

-♪ We believe in

-♪ Blood

♪ And breasts

♪ And beasts

-♪ Yeah, we believe in