All language subtitles for The.Invisible.Raptor.2023.1080p.AMN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264

That's showbiz baby!

Results of cognitive skill test

part two finished compiling.

Subject possesses strong
deductive reasoning skills,

but lacks basic empathy.

Commencing cognitive
skill test, part three:

visual spectrum differentiation.

Ten bucks says the bastard
doesn't get the next one right.

Hey, can you not do that?

He doesn't like it
when you do that.

And can you not eat
your lunch in here?

This is supposed to be
a sterile environment.

Prompt number one:
shapes and color.

Which key opens the door?

A for yellow, B for blue.

You have five seconds remaining.

A is correct.

The yellow key
opens the yellow door.

Positive reinforcement:
achieved.

We raised
one smart invisible raptor.

We raised
the only invisible raptor.

Poor guy doesn't have
any family.

Oh, here we go.

You know what?
Family's overrated.

And speaking of,
I got to run out

and get my kid
a birthday present.

Oh, yeah. When is it?

Uh... Two weeks ago?

Ouch.
What are you gonna get?

Uh. I figured I'd stop by
that old dinosaur museum

gift shop off the highway.

I mean, it's on the way home.

Oh, yeah. The one
with all the giant dinosaurs.

I love that place.

Yeah. Get him something the,
uh, ex-wife will bitch about.

You know how that goes.

Not really. I'm solo.

No family, no kids, nothing.

I could be dead
on the floor in here

and no one would think
to look for me for two weeks.

Well, you're lucky.
Can't escape mine.

Oh, do me a favor.

If Dr. Tyler comes by,
cover for me.

I'll keep an eye out.

Access granted:
John Sykes.

Whoa!

What you got there?

How did you get those?

Come on.
You want to give 'em to me?

Come on.

It's almost like
you know what those are for.

Ha!

Oh, shit. Of course.

Willie, I forgot
my keys again.

Can you toss 'em over?

Can you toss 'em over for me?

Thanks, dick.

Have a good weekend, Willie.

Access granted:
John Sykes.

Access granted: William Walsh.

Oh! Goddammit.

Dino World guests
and dino campers,

please make your way
to the dig zone

for a special
fossil presentation

by our world-renowned
paleontologist,

- Dr. Grant Walker.
-C'mon, Boo Boo,

we don't want to miss the show.

-Okay, Mom.
-Okay. Let's go.

...and other tools
are used to remove the rock

covering the bones
to see how much

of the skeleton is present.

Special glue is applied
to the cracks and fractures

to hold the fossils together...

Can anyone tell me what this is?

A claw!

That's right.
This is an actual raptor claw

dating all the way back
to the Cretaceous period.

Oh, just around
over 75 million years ago.

And believe it or not,

that's older than all your mom
and dads put together.

My dad's in Mexico with Sally.

Okay.

Now this claw was located
right on his middle toe

and it was retractable
like a switchblade.

The raptor would extend the claw

to slash at its prey
just like...

this!

Okay. Okay, everyone calm down.

Now raptor...

Fuck.

Hmm.

All right,
you chickenshit motherfucker,

you listen to me.

All right, that shit was
a long time ago.

All right,
you're a grown-ass man

doing grown-ass man shit now.

All right?

Hmm. No one's gonna pants you.

No one's gonna see your dick.

All right. You got a full-ass
dinosaur costume on.

You got a zipper and everything.

It's impossible.

So get out there
and dance your dick out.

D-Dick, dick, dick off.

Jeez, Mr. Beagle.

I'll be right there!
Hold your nuts!

Now can anyone
tell me what this is?

No?

This is coprolite.

Also known as fossilized feces.

Or raptor poop.

Ew!

Don't worry,
it doesn't smell... anymore.

That's just this place.

All right,
everybody, take a whiff.

You don't smell anything, right?

It's really old.

Now, something you may
have noticed

is that raptor droppings
are very unique.

In fact,
there's nothing quite like it

in the animal kingdom.

You notice
the distinct impressions

and patterns throughout.

Kind of looks like
a big croissant

made out of old tires, right?

You know, when I was doing
my fieldwork

to get my PhD in paleontology,
uh, I actually found--

How do they pee-pee?
Does it have a penis?

How does it have sex?

Hey, Doc G,
it's almost showtime!

Actually, that is
a great question.

Uh, we don't know for sure.

They either had a penis
or a cloaca,

much like modern birds
and reptiles today.

And a cloaca is
a tiny little flap

covering a little hole.

Hey kids!

Did someone say "Dino Pal"?

All right, that's pretty much it
for today.

So if you want to get
out of here, it's--

Boo!

Remember when I said that
dinosaurs were closely related

to modern birds?

Well, another thing raptors did

that's similar
to the descendants

are mating calls

and a ritualist mating dance.

And now, the moment
you've all been waiting for,

it's everyone's
favorite dinosaur,

Dino Pal...

...here to perform
his famous dino rap dance.

Thank you for visiting
Dino World.

Be sure to try
our fossil funnel cake.

It's... DINO-mite.

Now,
join us on the second floor

-in our state-of-the-art...
-And please kill me.

...for the prehistoric
ocean exhibit

featuring the megalodon in 3D.

You heard me.

Kill me.

Mr. Beagle! Mr. Beagle!

Ooh, there he is!

You know you can't be
out here doing the show.

No, you can't.
You know I love you.

You know I'm your best friend.
You're my best friend.

Yes, you are.

All right.
I'm sorry buddy, okay?

I'm gonna give you
a Flintstone-sized bone later.

Okay? Yabba-dabba-deuces.

Dino World
will be closing in 15 minutes.

Please head to the exits.

Make sure to stop
in our gift shop

before you end your visit today.

A lot of these sales
will go extinct.

-Did you learn anything today?
-No.

Shit.

Uh, okay, Elliott,

why don't you be
a good little raptor

and run off
with your raptor pack?

I don't have a pack.

Okay, well, why don't you
go find anybody else?

Here. Have some dino eggs.

On me. And you can
use those to make friends.

Okay? Go!

Yay.

I see you still have a hard time
letting people get too close.

Amber.

What's it been? Ten years?

What? Since you dumped me?

I'm just messing with you.

It's just water
under the bridge now.

Uh... You look good.

This old thing? I know.

Hey, listen,
the way I left things off...

could very well be perceived
as wrong and I'm just--

Hannah, why don't you go
get yourself a gift

in the gift shop?

We have some catching up to do.

So, you, uh,
still into this stuff?

Um, not since grad school.

I mean, not all of us
were lucky enough

to drop everything and everyone

to go become world-famous
paleontologists in Morocco.

Well, you can see
how that turned out.

Dino World employees,

report to the dino lounge

to sing "Happy Birthday"
to Trevor.

Uh, what brings you here?

Just working on
restarting my life

after divorcing
my Prince Charming.

Divorced?

Well, at least now
you don't have to sneak boys

into your window after midnight.

So what are you doing back here?

Besides starting
your new rap career?

What happened with Morocco?

I did hear something
about a discovery?

- Yes, you did.
- And then a lawsuit?

Yes, you did.

I discovered the first
fully intact and preserved--

Yeah, yeah, yeah.
We've heard it a million times.

You discovered
the world's most preserved

dinosaur butthole
and your business partner

screwed you over
and took all the credit.

So now
you can't get close to people.

Blah, blah, blah. We get it!

Okay. You know
what he's about to discover?

His paycheck's gonna be
missing a few zeros

because him
and his friend, Dino Pal,

destroyed all of our artifacts.

Do better, dude.

So things seem to be going well?

I got a coloring book.

Hey!

What happened out there, Doc G?

We got to work on our cues.

I feel like I knocked
something loose on that fall.

Will you help me
with this zipper?

Before I fill up this tail
full of human crap-alite.

It's coprolite.

Uh. You guys seem to have
your hands full here.

Yeah, not as full
as this tail's gonna be.

Hey, mama... mama... Ma... Ma...

I'm Denny, Head of Security
Detail here at Dino World.

Dancing's just my passion.

Well, I'm Amber,
Grant's old friend

and big fan
of interpretive dance.

Uh-huh.

Uh. I've got to go,
but take my number.

Yeah, sure.
Moving a little fast, but...

Not you.

I'm not a table.

-Call me.
-Yeah.

Wait a minute. I know this.

Um, it just happened to
work well with my outfit today.

Uh, I have to go.
Come on, Hannah.

Attaboy.
I let you have that one.

Somebody wants
to get their little mosquito

stuck in Amber.

Do you have fun today, honey?

I had so much fun.
I love you, Mommy.

Dino campers,
be sure to meet

your loving parents
in the pickup zone

and give them a big hug

for bringing you to the place
where the dinosaurs are.

Today we'll learn about

how dinosaurs became extinct.

For over 100 million years,

dinosaurs were the dominant
form of life on Earth.

The last dinosaur died off
70 million years ago

after a huge meteorite crashed
down off the coast of Mexico.

The last remaining link
to the existence of dinosaurs

is the modern-day chicken.

Your life sucks.

What happened to you, Grant?

You're dressed like a Lego man.

Look at you.

Stupid. You look stupid.

Is that you, Dr. G?

Nope. This isn't Dr. Grant.
Sorry.

Don't lie to me, man.
I know those shoes.

I saw your shoes. Look,
don't worry about earlier.

We can work on
our moves tomorrow.

We'll stick the landing
next time.

You know what? Why don't you
just stick to being security.

And, uh...

...whatever you're doing
in there.

All right, good talk!

Hey, Dr. G,
wait-wait a minute, let's...

Hey.

Thank you
for visiting Dino World

and have a DINO-mite day.

-Make any friends today?
-No.

Jesus! What have you
got in there?

You didn't steal
any old rocks, did you?

-No.-Good.

Because people that steal
are piles of shit.

You don't want
to be a pile of shit, do you?

-No.-Good.

Put your seatbelt on.

What are you doing?

Hey, what'd I tell you
about taking out your retainer?

I don't want
this stupid retainer.

Bradley Whitmore has Invisalign,
so why can't I?

"Why can't I?"

Because we don't like

invisible things
in our household.

--Okay?

And Bradley Whitmore's parents
spoil him rotten.

He's gonna end up
being a pile of shit too.

Now put your retainer back in

and don't forget your backpack!

Hey, hey!

You call that chick yet?

-No.
-Why not?

It's been like ten minutes.

What the hell happened
in the equipment area?

Shit. We got a 10-59.

I don't know
what that means, Denny.

Mr. Beagle! Mr. Beagle!

Here, boy!

That's weird.

Welcome to
the Cave of Wonders.

You thinking coyotes again?

Must be big ones.

Where is that damn dog?
Mr. Beagle!

Come on, boy. Mr. Beagle!

Fucker probably heard
a call of the wild again.

Chewed through his damn rope.

The hell?

What?

Just peculiar.

He's probably out
chasing coyote ass.

He'll be back.

Oh, shit.

Got to go, Doc G.

I got some, uh...

business to attend to.

Sure.

Scientists are still
unsure what dinosaurs

actually sounded like.

Hey, quiet down up there!

I'm going out.
So you're on your own tonight.

Dusty.

You piece of shit.

Right on time.

Pfft. Ooh, ooh, Gina.
Why are you with him?

What are you?

Pick it up.

Oh, yeah, pick it up.

Bitch.

Deploying USS Brown Trout...

Ah, deployed!

Gina!
Hey, where's my beer, Gina?

You left the beer in the car.

Go get it! I don't have all day.

...may cause headaches,
dizziness, scalp loss,

difficulty wearing hats.

Ask your doctor
about Revitaxanax...

Do we have
a lot of chickens?

We got so many damn chickens
here at McCluckskey Farms

that Colonel Sanders
even called wanting some.

And I told him
to go cluck himself!

Go get your own,
you Kentucky Fried old fart.

Are my chickens the best?

Yeah, well, does Dolly Parton
sleep on her back?

Come on down and get you some.

Good morning.

Tom Jennings filling in
for Chet Williford.

We start with disturbing news
out of Spielburgh County

where a young boy
appears to be missing.

Our own Gloria Aviles
is on the scene.

Gloria, what can you tell us?

Thanks, Tom.

I'm here at the home
of Debra Kintner,

who claims her
10-year-old son Elliott

went missing late last night.

Elliott? Nice tux.

...she returned
to his room this morning,

all that was left
was this mysterious mound

of an unknown substance.

It-It-It's shit!

It-It's a big pile of shit
with his retainer in it.

Oh, my God.

He hated that retainer,
but I made him wear it.

Oh, God, people are going
to think I'm a bad mom.

I should have never
called him a pile of shit,

but now look at him!
My son is a pile of shit!

Hey, sorry I'm late, Doc.

Maybe it was a bear.
Do you think it was a bear?

Bears are getting smarter.

There's a bear problem
in the city.

I don't know what's happening!

Oh, where'd you find
last year's Christmas cookies?

...for Elliott Kintner
and any information

about his disappearance
should be given

to the state police...

Dr. G., I-I still can't find
Mr. Beagle.

...that is
one big pile of shit.

Welcome to
the Cave of Wonders.

Here you can hear a variety
of dinosaur sounds

echoed throughout
its chambers...

Same size.

What's got
your butthole puckered?

Did you catch
the news this morning?

-Hmm?
-The shit?

The shit left
at the boy's house?

Whoa, shit.
That made it on the news?

How hard did he stomp
on the bag?

What are you talking about?

The missing kid report?

Elliott from Dino Camp?

Yeah. What happened
to that little turd?

Well...

I think he became one.

What? What are you
talking about?

The shit they found
in Elliott's room

had very distinct markings

and only one animal has
droppings like that.

Wait a minute.

Does this have something
to do with Mr. Beagle?

Whose blood was that, Dr. G?

- What is he barking at?
- I don't know.

Camera six is down.

Oh, God!

Please tell me
Mr. Beagle's okay!

- Listen.-

Do you hear that?

Yeah, of course, I hear it.
You played it for me twice.

What is he barking at?

I don't see anything.

I don't know
how this is humanly possible,

but I think
we're dealing with...

a raptor.

What in the shit
are you saying to me right now?

You're telling me that you think
Mr. Beagle's out there

running around chasing
a dinosaur that's on the loose

that's turning little kids
into doo-doo?

I'm saying that the evidence
supports that hypothesis, yes.

Well, saying I'm on board
with your hypotenuse,

or whatever.

Who is gonna help us
with that, Doc?

I don't know.

Hey, you know
what the coroner told me

the other day about
that John Doe that came in?

He told me you could tell
how old a person is

by counting the spokes
around their butthole.

Yeah, that's how he knew that
that John Doe was 32,

which means
I got like 45 spokes.

And you got 64,
and a baby has zero.

Or maybe they start with one.
I don't know.

Boy, I don't ever want
to hear you talking about

my butthole ever again.

Wait, stop.
You can't go back there!

Citizens on patrol, ma'am.

Well, if it isn't Dinky Denny.

Looking to drop off
another failed application?

Well, shit.
While I'm here, might as well.

I'm never growing up!

Sheriff, we might have
information on the disappearance

of Elliott Kintner.

-Who the heck are you?
-I'm Dr. Grant Walker.

I work up
at the Dinosaur Museum.

You mean the fun park?

I'm a paleontologist
and I have reason to believe...

that there's a raptor
on the loose.

A rapper on the loose?

Should we be on the lookout
for LL Cool J or Tone Loc?

Okay. No, no. A rap-tor.

From the Cretaceous period?

Like Jurassic Park.

Well, what does it look like?
We'll put out an APB.

I haven't actually seen it.

So tell me something, doc-tor,

if there's a dinosaur
running around this town,

how come nobody else
has seen it?

-I don't know.
-You couldn't have a wet fart

in this town without
a couple thousand people

posting about it.

Sir, this thing is killing kids.

All right, and it's turning them
into dookie piles.

So I suggest you look into it.

Yeah, you too, Ron.

You have to listen to me. Okay?
Just take me to the boy's house.

I have the fossilized feces
to prove it.

Oh! Get the hell
out of my office

before I have you committed.

And take your turd with you.

And whatever that thing is.

Come on.

- Oh, hey, Dinky.
- What?

I'll file your application
for you.

Why don't you file this?
File that!

Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!
A little respect here.

- Come on. Come on.
- A little respect!

Respect my ass.

Nothin' but net! Whoa!

What am I doing?

They're right.

I just told the authorities

that a dinosaur
is running around town

yet no one has seen it.

And I'm dressed

like a shitty
low-rent safari man.

Of course they think I'm crazy.

This is stupid.

You know what? Fuck those cops.

Well, I know you're having
some sort of internal debate,

but I believe you!

You're the smartest
science doctor I know.

And I know a few.

What else could it be?

In the cave,
there was all that blood,

and the footprint...

You think
Mr. Beagle's all right?

Yeah. Yeah, we'll find him.

He's a, uh...

good boy.

He's the goodest.

Um, what was that dinky stuff
about with the sheriff?

Oh, just some juvenile
grade school bullshit.

I don't even know
how they know that stuff.

Now that we're partners and all,

just tell me one thing.

How in the hell
does a dinosaur exist?

I have no idea.

But first, we have to make sure.

We have to match the coprolite
with the droppings.

All right. Where to then?

Elliott's house.

You're gonna go up here
to the left.

-Left?-Yeah.

How do you know
where that kid lives, weirdo?

I stole the police report

while they were making fun
of your dick.

All right, now we just
got to get past his mom.

I got this.
Just watch my six.

What are you doing?

What are you wearing?

Don't worry, all right?
I got this. Just follow my lead.

Here she comes.
Here she comes.

Yes?

Hello, madam.

I'm special agent Johnny Utah.

And this is Doctor...

Dr. Grant Walker,
a Scientologist.

And we're here to do
some laboratory experiments

on the feces
that used to be your son.

Oh, thank God.

So you do believe me?

I told them
my son wasn't missing.

Uh. Where's the shit pile,
ma'am?

Upstairs.

- Excuse me.
- This way?

Yeah, you got it. Yeah.

Up here? I see it!

Oh, smells like a fart
in a spacesuit in here.

Ooh. The boy's retainer?

Yes.

I was right.

It's raptor shit.

Are you sure?

Look, man. I know my shit.

Look at this.
Look at the grooves.

Ah, it's the same, yeah.
Like a monster truck tread.

Son of a...
Look, there's corn in there.

This is incredible.

What's incredible, Doctor?

Uh, Your Majesty,
we're gonna need to dig

around your son
for a stool sample.

Maybe, maybe it's best
you turn away.

Wait a second.

Oh. Oh, no!

Oh. Oh, no!

- What? What? What is it?
- No, Mr. Beagle!

Mrs. Kintner,
I think it's best that you go

in the other room

and let us finish this
in privacy.

No, Mr. Beagle!

You fucker!

Hey! Hey, stop it.

-I want to kill him!
-Hey! Hey! Stop!

-I want to kill him!
-Look at me. Stop!

That is that woman's son!

That's my dog!

Get-get-get-get a hold
of yourself.

How can we use
the coprolite now?

You just ruined our proof!

I'm sorry, Dr. G.
I lost it, but shit, man!

That's my dog in there.
It's hurting my heart!

Let's just...
Let's just go. Okay?

This poor woman
has been through enough.

I'm gonna take a little bit
of Mr. Beagle with me.

I got to take some of him.

Fucker!

Okay, so "all-inclusive" means

I don't have
to leave the resort?

Yes, ma'am.
That will come with a wristband

for access to all our amenities,

including bottomless drinks
at our three onsite bars...

So-So what happens now, Doctor?

We're gonna take your son--

This sample back to the lab
for a study

and we'll get back to you.

Is there anything
else I can help you with?

Smells like shit
down here too.

So can we go ahead

and book you
for your singles cruise?

Okay. So free drinks and...

Shit.

Hey, can you help me
with my ant farm?

-It's broken.
-Uh, okay.

- Hello.
- Amber.

It's Grant. Walker.

Yeah, I know.
I'm really glad you called.

Yeah, uh, me too.

Ah, Amber, please go
with me on this.

You have to listen to me.

I have undeniable evidence that
there could be a velociraptor

in your area killing people.

Well, this is
a really strange way

- of asking me out.
- It's itchy.

Um, is this some sort of
weird role-playing thing?

No, no. Here, look at this.

Ants! Ants! Ants!

-It's in my hair!
-You sent me a pile of shit?

That's raptor droppings.

They're biting me!

- Okay? Are you asking me out?
- No!

Stay in your house
and lock your doors.

Do not go outside
until I call you again.

What? I mean, this is insane.

Oh, wait.

If this is you trying to push me
away again, well, it's working.

It's not that.

All right. You haven't grown up
a bit since college. Goodbye.

Shit.

It's itchy! Ow!

Women. Can't live with 'em.

Can't convince 'em
a dinosaur might kill 'em.

Irrational creatures.

Is that that crazy chicken lady
from the commercials?

Yeah, she's kind of a big deal
in these parts.

Pull over.

What the hell happened here?

What the...

Henrietta McCluckskey.

What's happening,
you old bastard?

You selling scrambled eggs now?

Is that little Deniel Denielson?

Oh, yeah, I remember
that ugly-ass face.

Your name is Deniel?
Deniel Denielson?

What the hell you think
"Denny" is short for?

Did you two stop here
to fuck or buy eggs?

Do you mind if we ask
what happened here?

I don't know.

Went into my truck
to have a smoke.

Must have passed out.

When I woke up, it was like
a tornado went through here.

Smashed my eggs to bits!

Blew the ass end
out of my mascot!

Do you mind if we take a look?

I could give a frog's fat ass
what you look at.

Just don't break
any merchandise.

Damn. Looks like something
blew his butthole out.

Ew. What is it?

Raptor semen?

Looks like a bunch of cum to me.

Hey, you... You're saying

that dinosaur mounted
that chicken,

blew his butthole out,
and busted a nut inside?

I guess so.

I've been saying this all along!

The government is making
man-sized chickens

to put all us
little people out of work.

Chicken-human hybrids

controlled by 5G and chemtrails.

Okay... Um, are you sure
you didn't see anything at all?

Well, not unless you count
the back of my fucking eyelids.

Okay, I'm gonna need a map.

I got you, Doc G.

What are you two
looking for anyway?

Look, look.
Official business. All right?

Don't get your tits in a tangle.

You're not gonna buy any eggs?

Assholes!

Yeah, come on.
Come on. Check it out. Yeah.

It's a beauty, ain't it?

Yeah. Come on in. Yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, come on in.

How you like it?

It's, uh...

Oh... Yeah, this is nice.

This is... quaint.

I got a few things
still, still coming

from Amazon Prime.

I think the tiki stuff,
you know,

the tiki stuff
kind of ties it all together.

Hmm... Yeah, no. That's,
that's the touch that did it.

That, that made it, yeah.

Oh, how rude of me.
Let me get you a drink.

- Oh, no, no, I'm good.
- Oh, come on man.

It'll help loosen you up.

Pick your poison.

There we go!

- Ooh.
- That's a lot.

- A little more?
- No, no, I'm good.

So I'd like to, uh...

Sorry about the flies.
We got some kind of infestation.

To new partners,

new friends.

And, uh... Mr. Beagle.

May we avenge his death.

And, and, and the kid
and shit too.

The doo-doo kid.

Hmm.

What the hell is that?

A blend. I blended
a few things together.

Oh, oh. Since we're partners
and-and friends,

drinking bud...
and drinking buddies,

I'd like to
present you with, um...

a little something
that's gonna...

gonna help us communicate

when we're together.
And I, uh...

I think...

That's my dad.
I think my dad, um...

I think he'd want you
to have this. Here, here.

-Oh, no, no, no. I can't.
-No, no. You've earned it.

-Thanks.
-Brothers in arms.

-Brothers in arms.
-Hey. Hey.

Didn't you say you had a map?

I got a big ass map.

Whole ci... Whole-whole city!

Whoa. Hold up. Hold up.
Let me set the mood.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah, that's better.

Um, I can't see anything.

Okay. Hold up. Wait.

Okay. Well, you could have just
turned the lights on, but...

Uh, do you have any thumbtacks?

I don't have
thumbtacks, but... Oh!

I got these Chums.

-Chums?
-Yeah, Chums.

Like you and me. Chums.

I used, I used to collect these
as a kid, didn't you?

No.

This is, um...
Well, this is Jimmy Chonga.

This is, uh, Larry... Oh.

You keep Larry Loco.
It's my favorite.

And I'm gonna take,
uh, Alberto Gordo.

This is to symbolize
our Chummidom.

- How old are you?
- 41.

You ever think about
wearing sunscreen?

No. It's bad for the skin.

No, yeah, you don't want that.
You don't want that.

We need to establish

-the raptor's hunting territory.
-Okay.

Here is Dino World

or what we know
is the first attack.

-Okay. Yeah, that's Larry Loco.
-Yeah. Yeah, I know.

This is Elliott's house.

That's Jimmy Chonga.

-Jimmy Chonga. Jimmy Chonga?
-Jimmy Chonga.

Great. Jimmy is
gonna be Henrietta

because this is
Henrietta's egg stand.

Okay.

So, a raptor's hunting territory
is roughly estimated

to be about 20 square miles,
which would lead him...

here.

Let's go kill us
a fucking raptor.

Hi, guys.
Oh, everyone's here tonight.

It's feeding time! Yub-nub.

Oh.

Where did Razzle go?

And now
where's that darn Dazzle?

Razzle? Dazzle?

Oh, well.

Well, then,
where did everyone go tonight?

That's a lot of mayonnaise.

-You never know.
-No. No, you never do.

Go ahead, take a few with you.
It's fine.

Oh, no, I'm good.

I have some at home
in a bottle...

Like everyone.

Testing, testing.
One, two, one, two, one, two.

Hey, hey, hey, hey.

Doc G, Doc G. Come in, Doc G.

Boop, boop, boop, boop!

Hey, Doc G. Copy that.

Hey, uh, can you turn
your walkie to, uh, channel 16?

-Make sure it's on 16.
-Can you just please stop?

Keep your eyes on the road!

We're not 11-year-old
treehouse buddies.

We're not using these.

So... you grew up here.

How was that?

It was fine.

There was this...

this incident, you know,
in the sixth grade.

I mean, I guess
I should tell you,

with our budding
bromance and all.

I started that day pumped.

My dad, my daddy
had just bought me

a new pair of MC Hammer pants...

...for the school talent show.

- Mm-hmm.
- Oh, man.

And I was in the middle
of a performance

of "Can't Touch This."

I mean
the whole school was there.

The whole town.

And sitting right
front and center...

Ooh. Oh, the love of my life.

Gina Del Vecchio.

Yeah, man.

I had that crowd eating out
of the palm of my hand.

I was too legit to quit.

Oh, man!

And then I got to...

"Stop, hammer time."

Mm.

Dusty Peters pulled
my MC Hammer pants

and my tighty-whities
down to my ankles...

in front of the whole school.

And Gina Del Vecchio.

Well, in a fit of irony...

it definitely wasn't
hammer time.

My little underdeveloped
sixth-grade baby dick

just sitting on my nuts
like an acorn.

After that, everyone started
calling me Dinky Dick Denny.

That's...

horrible.

I'm sorry.

Yeah. Well, that nickname
followed me my whole life.

And Dusty Peters married
Gina Del Vecchio.

Man, you think it was my dream
to be security at Dino World?

Well, I love Dino World.

But I wanted to be a sheriff.

That nickname fucked
that up too.

I can relate.

Not about
the small dick stuff, but...

It's grown a little bit.

Oh.

All right,
we could be close.

Amber does live up here.

Oh, yeah?
Gina lives two streets over.

You know the big house
with the stone front?

Her bedroom's the second window
from the left.

Or so I've heard.

Wait a minute.
What the hell is that?

Stop!

Look at this.

Eerie.

What the hell
kind of critter is that?

It's a hairball.

My guess is... it just ate
an old lady and her cats.

What is it, Doc?

It's what's left of an old lady
and her cats.

Jeez, man!

Does this thing know no bounds?

First, it kills my dog.
Then a... then a kid,

and then a sweet old lady
and her cats?

I mean, what's next?

A freaking handicap?

Uh-oh.

- Grimley.
- Yeah, Sheriff.

This is Grant Walker.

The raptor I told you about?

Just ripped someone's head off!

Listen, you crazy bastard,

you call here
and harass this station

with any more
of your dino doo-doo

and I'll throw you
and your dinky dick pal

in jail! You got it?

- Hello?
-Fuck those guys.

There's new sheriffs in town.

Oh, man,
that could have been cool!

Hannah,
I'm taking a bath. Are you good?

Yeah.

Hannah?

Hannah, were you in here?

No.

Hey!

Amber!

Amber!

Where are you?

Amber?

- Here, boy!
- Stop that.

It's upstairs.

What the shit?

Where is he?

-Denny! Shoot it!
-What? Shoot what?

I can't see shit!

Fucker.

Look out!

What is this?!

What is this?

Ow! Ah!

If it bleeds, we can kill it.

-That's from Predator.
-Yeah, I remember.

Oh, Grant!

Amber, your arm. Are you okay?

I saw it. And I'm so sorry
I didn't believe you.

Wait, wait, wait. You saw it?

I-I think so.
It all happened so fast.

-It attacked me and then--
-It's like a fucking chameleon!

I couldn't see shit!

Was that really a raptor?

Yes.

An invisible raptor.

Holy shit!

Amber, I need you to go
as far away from here

-as you can.
-Uh... Okay. Uh...

-There's a car a-a minute away.
-Okay, okay.

Hannah,
go get your things!

How are we gonna stop
this thing, Doc G?

I don't know, Denny,
but we haven't much time.

- That was fast.
- Rideshare for Amber!

Hannah, hurry up!

Jesus, that kid.

Come on!

Grant, I should stay with you
and help you stop this thing.

No, Amber, you go
and be safe with our daughter.

"Our" daughter? You think...

No, she's not even my daughter.

No, she's my ex-husband's
from a previous thing.

Oh, thank God.

Oh, I was trying
to be cool with that.

Oh, but you know,
that was gonna bother me.

I have to be honest.

That's why I even hesitated
to call you.

I'm sorry. No offense, Hailey.

It's Hannah.

-It doesn't matter.
-I'm staying with you.

Aw.

Before y'all start
making whoopee in front of me,

I think you should divert
your attention

to the little ninja man
watching us

from behind
that tree over there.

I see you, motherfucker!

Oh, he's got wheels!

Let's go.

Surprise!

Who the hell are you?

And why are you watching us?

Why... why you watching us?

You wouldn't be out here
looking for... Oh, I don't know,

an invisible fucking raptor,
now would you?

Shut up! Shut up!
Everybody get in the van

before we all get killed.

What do you know
about the invisible raptor?

How do you know
about the invisible raptor?

Because we know it exists.
And it's killing people.

But I have a feeling
you know a lot more.

Explain this.

Hey, that's
classified information.

Well, how about
we declassify that shit?

Okay. Okay. Okay.

Raptor Weaponization.

Invisibility?

Wait a minute.

Tyler Corp?
As in Dr. Steven Tyler?

What's Aerosmith got to do
with this?

You start talking.

My friend here has
an itchy trigger finger.

Yeah, I got
a lot of itchy things.

Okay. Okay. Okay.

I work for Dr. Tyler
at Tyler Corp.

And yes, the invisible raptor
is ours and it escaped.

Now I suggest you let me go,
so I can go get it back.

Wait, wait.
Dr. Tyler created raptors?

A raptor, yes.

How?

Uh. Did you see Jurassic Park?

-Yes.
-We did that.

But how did you
make it invisible?

-Did you see The Invisible Man ?
-Whoa, wait, stop!

Don't say anything.
I hate spoilers.

It's a remake of an old film!
I just...

All right, all right.
Two more questions.

What happens if we get it wet?

Or feed it after midnight?

Nothing? Nothing happens.

All right, just checking.
We know all we need to know.

We-We don't have time for this.

I have to get Chance
back to the lab.

He's a very expensive asset.

You named it Chance?

Yeah. Chance the Raptor.

You know what?
Fuck Chance the Raptor.

And fuck Tyler the Creator!

You know what,
fuck Aerosmith too!

If you think we're taking
this abomination back, dream on.

You're crazy!

Hey, look, I just... I got to
get him back to the lab

before they know he's gone
or I'm gonna lose my job.

They-They don't know he's gone?

No. He's invisible.

Access granted:
Gordon Crawford.

Later, Willie!

Did you Weekend at Bernie's
that man?

I was going for more
of a Ferris Bueller but...

You're insane.

Your experiment has gone rogue.

We're not bringing this back
to your lab

so Tyler can have his weapon.

What part of
"people are dying out there"

do you not understand?

He's not just
an experiment to me.

No, I-I raised him.

His first birthday.

I raised him
better than my own son.

He's in a little suit phase.

You know what, mister.

I'd feel sorry for you

if your pet hadn't just eaten
my best friend.

But he did.

And he made
doo-doo and hairballs

out of old ladies
and little kids.

So, enough of this bullshit.

Take it out.
Take it out. Take it out.

I'll take this out
on one condition.

You're gonna use
your Star Trek shit here

to help us kill it.

-Catch it.
-Catch it.

Okay. Okay.
I'll help you get it.

Jesus. Just take it out.

Maybe I should have the tranq.

Stop! Can't touch this!
That tranq is strong enough

to put an elephant down
for 24 hours.

You don't want it going off.

This is all very sensitive
and expensive equipment.

Now this guy uses
thermal imaging

and it's the only thing
we can use to track

his whereabouts.

And I only have one pair.

Oh! He's here. He's here.

Hey, Chance. Hey, buddy.

There you are. Easy.

- What is he doing?
- Okay, easy.

Chance, sit.

Hey, maybe I have
a milk bone for you.

Yeah? But you got to sit.

Can you sit for me? Chance?

Easy, easy.

Chance. Sit!

Slow.

Good boy.

All right, let's get you home.

There you are.

He's choking on
the ninja man's expensive gear!

Denny, what's your plan?

Saw this in a little movie
called Jaws.

Jeez.
How fast are those things?

40 miles an hour. Jinx.

You owe me a soda.

Where's it going?

You better make
this shot, dude.

Dude, your sister
is hot as fuck.

Super hot.

It sounds like
that party's fucking lame.

Come on, man.
Just smoke it.

Nothing bad will happen.

Yeah.
Thanks for holding.

The store manager
will be with you shortly.

I have been holding
for an hour and 17 minutes

to speak to a goddamn manager!

Ma'am, you need to calm down.

I said the store manager's
gonna be with you shortly.

Another goddamn hour? I--

Fuck!

Party!
Turn that shit up, dude!

Whoo!

Sheriff Grimley.

Sheriff, there are a bunch
of millennials having a party.

Oh, Karen! How did you
get this extension?

There's nothing illegal
about having a party.

They're making a lot of noise.
They're disturbing the peace

and it is late.

It's nine o'clock on a Saturday.

Just send somebody over here!

Well, better check it out.
Got nothing better to do.

Hey, ding-dong.

Hey, ding-dong!

Let's go!

What the hell is this?

Damn kids.

Yeah, this is
the manager, Rudy, speaking.

How may I help you? Ma'am?

You called about
the air fryer? Again?

Uh. Yeah, the good news is
you had the protection plan,

so it's not gonna cost you
an arm and a leg.

The bad news is, uh...

Are you there? Ma'am?

Uh, can you get closer
to the phone, please?

Okay. I guess
you're definitely still there.

So, like I was saying,
if you just, uh--

It's tearing me apart!

Okay.
Yeah, you're overreacting

because it's just an air fryer.

It's killing me!

No matter what happens,
we have to stick together.

Raptors are known to pick off
the sick and the weak.

And eat stragglers.

Where's Denny?

Denny, what are you doing?

I'm fucking with his heat vision
He won't be able to see us!

Like in Predator.

You want some mud?
Here, I've got some mud.

The thermal imaging
was just for us to see it.

Raptors don't have heat vision.

Now you're just muddy.

Well, raptors may not,

but we don't know
how invisible raptors see us.

He's got a point.

Just come on.
Stay close.

All right!

Oh, jeez.
Will you put on your badge?

We're in public.
We got to look respectable.

No one has to wear 'em
at the station.

Hey, can I ask you a question?

Are you living your dream?

What?

Like, when you were
a little boy?

Is this what
you dreamt of doing?

Do you mind if I share
my dream with you?

No.

I got a real passion
for electronic music.

Have you ever been to Berlin?

-I can't say that I have.
-Oh, you're really missing out.

The EDM scene there
is like no other.

And if you ever get
a chance to go,

you got to try to get into...

Berghain.

Oh, well I'll be sure
to make a point of that

in my "don't give a shit"
planner.

-I just finished my demo.
-Hmm.

I think
people are really gonna like it.

I wouldn't jump
to any conclusions.

Oh. You just give it
a listen, okay?

-And be honest with me, okay?
-Uh.

You're not gonna hurt
my feelings.

Oh!

Sounds even better in a car.

Oh, get lost in it. Oh.

What do you think?

Well, I'll be perfectly
honest with you.

- Yeah.
- I wouldn't be caught dead

listening to this crap.

We'll head on
over there after ten.

The, uh, noise ordinance isn't
in effect until then.

Okay.

What was that?

Wasn't that

some more
of your bullshit music?

-No.
-Oh, gee.

There it is again.

Hey, make yourself useful.

Ichabod Crane's nemesis.
The "blank" Horseman.

Scarlet Horseman?

-Yellow Horseman?
-Yeah.

-Spotted Horseman?
-Ah...

Hey, man, close the door.
We're hotboxing in here.

Happy birthday, I guess.

What was that?
Did you just fart?

Uh-oh, something
bad's about to happen.

Somebody let me in!
Open the door!

Look who showed up.

Well, Sheriff,
I'd hate to say that I told--

-What is it?
-Oh!

Oh!

Oh... Do you think
I should reapply?

It's probably a good time
to reapply.

Hey you! Let's kick it!

Let's go!

- Shush!-

C'mon, man. This is game.

Holy shit!

Look for the balloon.

This is clear.
The hallway's clear.

White Claw. This Gen Z shit.

Help me. Help me, please.

Something's grabbed my leg.

There it is.
There it is. There it is.

Party's over, pal.

Shit, that's my last arrow,
Dr. G., You got this?

Where is it?

Toilet paper!

- It worked!
- Is it dead?

-I think it's just sleeping.
-Sleeping?

How long will that
tranquilizer last?

Hopefully long enough.

Can you believe it?

I've dreamt about this
since I was a kid.

I just wish we could see it.

Ha! Feathers. I knew it.

It's living.

It's breathing.

I can hear its heartbeat.

It's time to meet
the Flintstones!

No, no, Denny!
What are you doing?

I'm gonna smash his head in
with this rock.

Where's his head?
Where's his head?

Denny, we can't.

What do you mean "we can't"?

This thing just
massacred a party!

And by God,
we're avenging Mr. Beagle.

We have it sedated, for now.

This is the greatest
scientific discovery ever.

We can't destroy it.

We have to find
a secure facility

and lock it up somehow.

-And where would that be?
-I don't know.

- Jail cell.
- Jail cell.

Denny, please.

All right, fine.

But I still think
it's a pretty stupid idea

coming from a doctor's brain.

- Fucker!
- Stop.

All right, fine!

I'll get the car,
you fuckers.

Grant, are you sure about this?

It's just doing what it does.

It's an apex predator
that's suppressed

65 million years
of gut instinct.

It's just surviving.

It's just eating and fucking.

And at the end of the day,
isn't that what we all want?

I mean, I love eating
and fucking too,

but I don't want to see
dead people everywhere.

If we destroy this,

we're eliminating
an entire species...

again.

I can't morally be
the second meteor.

Hey, good news!

I got the ratchet straps
from my Christmas tree.

Yeah. All right, let's get 'em
on the roof. Okay.

- One... Two...
- Wait, wait, wait.

- All right. Okay.
- Three!

Okay. He's heavy.

Okay.

Oh, his feathers
are tickling me.

Come back.

Okay. Okay. Easy.

Don't drop it.

Okay. Okay. I got it. I got it.

Okay. Okay. Back up.

- Lift!
- Amber, get under.

- Set...
- I don't have him!

Go!

Is that my blue pen?

Yeah.

- Keep it.
- You know what, Amber?

You got yourself
a good boyfriend there.

Oh, well, he's not my...

I mean, we've only been
best friends for like six hours,

but I can tell we're in it
for the long haul.

And you're coming with Amber.
I'm a good judge of character.

The three amigos.

Granted.

Doc G and I are gonna need
a few guy nights.

You know, a little time
at the dude ranch.

But you understand.

Of course.

Oh, when are your birthdays?

Um, I'm in July.

I'm in July!

We should do,
like, a joint party.

Okay.

We got another
Cancer up in here.

What about you, Doc G,
when's yours?

I'm in May.

19th.

He's a Taurus.

All this shit
ain't gonna take itself out!

Guess I'll do it myself, Gina.

What is it?

You fucker!

What are you doing?

Hey, motherfucker!

Deniel? Deniel Dennison?

Denielson!

Yeah, you ain't
laughing now, are you?

What are you talking about?

You turned me
into a joke in sixth grade!

What?

You pulled my Hammer pants down!

Oh, shit.

What?

You don't want to know.

You made me
the laughingstock

of this whole town.

Denny, get back in the car!

There's no handle.

I just saved this whole town
and your sorry asses

from a rampaging dinosaur.

Are-Are you all right, man?

How's this for all right?

What's he doing?

Oh, no!

What are you doing?

That's right, bitch.

I fucking did it
with my new best friends.

Denny,
get back in the car!

It's waking up.

Denny, we have a problem!

It's waking up!

You know what?
You just suck, man.

Denny! It can read!

While you're sitting
around your stupid-ass pajamas,

living my life
with Gina Del Vecchio,

with what should have
been my family!

Denny!

I was out saving the whole world
from total annihilation,

like Sarah fucking Connor.

But with a dick.

With a dinky dick.

You'll always be
Dinky Dick Denny.

Dinky Dick Denny!

The hood.

Denny, look out!

What the hell?

Gina!

No, no, no. Give me my leg back!

Gina, you bitch, get out here!

Oh, Dinky! Dinky get the fuck
over here and help me!

Denny, get the fuck over here!

I got a small dick too!

My bad.

Your bad?

You should've let me smash
his head in with that rock.

Let me out.

All right. Jeez.
Hold your horses.

-Let me out!
-You got to... Here.

Your bad?

You just let it loose again!

You...

muddy,

redneck

- idiot!-

Whoa, now, Dr. G.

That's no way
to talk to a friend.

Friends?

We're not friends.

We're not even work friends.

This isn't hanging out,
you moron.

All you had to do
was drive it to the jail.

Now it is going
to kill more people.

That man is a stump!

You're the one that wanted
to let it take a nap

because of
your scientific discoveries.

Oh...

I told you
we should have killed it.

Now, Dusty Peter's
hot-ass wife is a widow!

Oh, no. Oh, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no.

This blood is on your hands.

And you did all this
because someone saw your dick

in the sixth grade?

Unbelievable!

We are doing this ourselves.

We don't need you anymore.

I thought we were chums.

Yeah? Is that what you thought?

Because guess what?
We're not chums.

Ah, not Larry Loco!

Come on, Amber.

Come on.

I think you're a little harsh
on Denny.

Well, he's a big harsh idiot.

He made a mistake, yes.
But maybe he was right.

That thing's a monster.

And dinosaurs and humans
are not meant to coexist.

But I felt it breathing.
We felt its heartbeat.

A real-life raptor.

Yeah. A real-life
invisible raptor

that's on a killing rampage.

What if my butthole
is responsible for this mess?

-I'm not following.
-My butthole.

The butthole that I discovered
that Tyler Corp took from me.

That's the only way
they could get the preserved DNA

to make this.

They took my butthole

and made me
look like an asshole.

And if that dumbass didn't take
an egotistical pit stop,

we would've had it contained.

This was my chance
to get this prehistoric weapon

out of the wrong hands

and finally take down
Tyler Corp!

Then I wouldn't have to
go back to Dino World.

What is it?

We're going back to Dino World.

Trust me. I have a plan.

Plus, I have to
pick up my paycheck.

I'm sorry
I let you down, Mr. Beagle.

I'm sorry, Mr. Beags.

Dad, Dad, Dad.
Oh, Daddy, I miss you.

I really need
your advice right now.

Why the fuck
did you have to leave?

I finally found a friend.

I had finally found
a best friend, Doc G.

And I fucked it up.
I screwed it up.

I just want to redeem myself.

I want to show him
that I could get it.

I could get this thing.
I could kill this fucker.

I can kill it.

Oh, Dad, come on, Dad.
Just give me something.

Come on. Just talk...
talk to me or something.

Give me a sign.

Hmm. Want me to drink it?

Bingo.

All right, we need
the T-Rex suit

and the mating call CD.

Is that that thing
you were rapping to?

Yes.

Where did they put it?

You really think
this is gonna work?

Amber, this raptor has been
outsmarting us the whole time.

We do know it's a male.

The only way to get it
to stop thinking with its brain

is to get it
to start thinking with its dick.

We have to bait it.
It's the only chance we have.

But where are we gonna trap it?

We can't do it in town.
There's too many lives at risk.

I got all this land
in the middle of nowhere

and we're expecting
a huge surplus

come this summer
because McCluckskey Farms

chickens are in heat!

And you know what that means?

A crap load of eggs!

Chickens.

-Chickens?
-All her chickens are in heat.

Raptors are basically
six-foot chickens.

And we lure it
to the chicken farm

with the mating calls

and then the pheromones
will cloud its brain!

And then it devotes
all its energy to mating.

And that's when
we make our move...

And trap it.

So you're gonna get
into the dino suit

and shake your ass
in front of it?

No, I was gonna have Denny...

Well, Mr. Pushes Everyone Away,

it looks like you might need
your best friend.

Well, he was the only one
that believed me.

I believed you!

Did you though?

- Eventually.
- You did?

After it attacked me
and there was definite proof.

Ooh, I recognize you,
you chickenshit motherfucker.

You back to tango?

We've been going
around and around.

Denny. Come in, Denny.

Denny, come in.

Denny, do you read? Over.

Go for Denny, over.
Go for Denny.

Denny...

I know how I treated you

could have been perceived
as wrong.

I was an asshole.

But I have a plan
and I need my partner.

So we're partners again?

Yes, we're partners again.

Are we chums though?

Yes, we're chums.

- Best chums?
- Yes, we're best chums!

Yes!

Yeah! We've got the team back!

Do you have fishing gear?

Does Dolly Parton
sleep on her back?

Sure.

All right. Bring it and meet us
at McCluckskey's Farms.

Over and out.

It's 2:00 a.m.
This better be good, assholes.

Because you just woke me up
from my first wet dream I've had

since they faked
that moon landing.

We apologize for that.

But listen, we really need
your help, Ms. McCluckskey.

There is a six-foot
invisible dinosaur

on the loose killing people.

And it's the same one

that destroyed your egg stand.
We need to use your truck

to lure it back here
and contain it.

No.

Shit.

I had a whole plan
and everything.

Listen, Henrietta,
what he meant to say was

is that we're trying to capture

a giant six-foot mutant
ninja chicken

that the government made
in order to put small farmers

like yourself out of business.

So we need you to kindly get up
off your ass and help us!

I knew it. I fucking knew it.

I'll get my shit!

All right, here's the plan.

Henrietta, we're gonna
need your truck.

Does that PA system still work?

Does Dolly Parton
sleep on her back?

That's how they say
"yes" out here.

Um, what kind
of stereo system does it have?

It's got one of those
brand-new high-tech ones.

-Damn!
-It plays those compact discs.

-Oh, yes! Great. Denny...
-Hmm?

I need you in that dino costume

and I need you to shake
your ass like it's your job.

I knew that would pay off.

Now, Henrietta, I noticed
you have jars of chicken urine

on the wall over here,
which is great.

Well, that big jar is mine.

The chicken ones are labeled.

Okay.

Denny, I need you
to cover yourself in this.

The pheromones from that urine
mixed with the mating sounds

are gonna lure
the raptor right to us.

Doc G, this...

Can we have just
a moment in private, please?

Just... Just assuming that-that
all doesn't go as planned,

um, if this thing gets me,

does that mean
I just have to say goodbye

to my little virgin butthole?

Odds are on the raptor
will have a cloaca

so there won't be
any penetration,

-just some dry rubbing.
-So it won't go past third base?

Fucker better
buy me dinner first.

-You should be good.
-All right, fuck it.

Uh. Just con-continue
with the plan then.

Henrietta, you drive.

As long as you keep it
over 41 miles an hour,

we'll be able to keep
it at a safe distance.

Lure it right to
your barn and trap it.

Of course, because a raptor's
max speed is 40 miles an hour.

-Good call back, Amber.
-And if plan A doesn't work?

Then we go to plan B.

-Denny.-Hmm?

What do you have
that can kill a raptor?

I made this exploding tip arrow.

-How did you make that?
-Did you see Rambo 2?

I did that.

All right, any questions?

What?

Look, I know this is insane,

but just a few hours ago,

so was the idea
of an invisible raptor.

So, anybody got any
better suggestions?

Sounds airtight to me.

Amber, make sure you have
the mating calls CD ready.

You got it, dude.

Can you zip me
up here, Doc G?

- Yeah.-

You left this.

Ow.

-You look good.
-I know.

And you left this, chum.

Now give me that golden shower.

Oh, shit.

You were supposed
to put it on the suit.

-You sure this line will hold?
-Yeah, this is braided line.

It's like 500 pound test.

This shit could hook
a blue whale

getting fucked by an elephant.

Good enough.

- Let's boogie, yo!
- All right!

Hit it, girls.

Let's hunt us
an invisible raptor.

It's mating time!

Murray,
you out there smoking again?

Just keep it down.

None of your business
what I'm doing out here,

you old dinosaur.

I'm watering the plants.

You're not
out there watering plants.

I could be watering the plants.

This is really good shit.

We're in its territory!

Are you sure
this is the right spot?

Trust me.

All right, shake that ass.

What?

Shake. That. Ass.

Ooh, I like this, Doc. Ooh.

- This is hot.
- This is so hot.

He's gonna like this.

Big hips. Big hips! Big hips.

Yep. In and out.
Oh, I feel that.

Yeah, that feels good.

This is kind of turning me on.

With moves like this,
you better hope he has a cloaca.

This is really good shit!

Yeah, that's it.
It's all in the hips.

I hear him coming, Doc!

- We got him!
- We got him.

I can't see, though.
I can't see.

- I got him.
- We got him.

Hit it, Henrietta.

Hold on to your buttholes.

- Oh, man.
- Hold still!

Oh, whoa, okay. God!

Hold!

He's jumping
like a largemouth bass.

Whoa!

Hang tight. Hold him!

This fucker's
all over the place.

Where's he going?
He's going left!

Hold on, hold on. Hold me, Doc.

Which one of them
are you fucking?

-Neither.-Good.

I'm gonna mount
this fucker on my wall.

He's squirrely.

Hang on!

Grant!

We got to go faster.

We got to get her over 40.

She's an old truck.
I'm giving her all she's got!

He's opening
the tailgate!

We're gonna need a bigger truck!

Uh, Doc, he's back!

Whoa, he's right here.
He's right there, Doc!

Henrietta, watch out!

Shit!

You fellas okay back there?

Man, if I had known
I was gonna be rode this hard,

I would've worn my nice undies.

Where is he?
Where is he, Doc G?

-Where is he?
-I don't know.

Ah, Denny! Denny!

- Hold on.
- Doc, help me!

I got you, Denny.

It's gonna pull me out!

No, no, Doc G!
Hold on. Hold on.

You're slipping!

- I've got you, chum.
- Doc, don't let go!

My hat! Shit!

- He ate my hat.
- Don't let go!

Stay in with me. Hold on, Denny.

I feel him!
He's got me! Get me out!

Get me out of
this fucking thing!

I'm trying, Denny.

- Get out of this suit! Get out!
- Oh, get me out!

I got you. I got you.

What's going on?

Get to the barn.

Hurry, Denny!
He's right behind you!

Oh, shit!

Uh-oh. I'm out of here.

Denny, the mud thing
doesn't work.

He's gonna see you!

Shoot him!

I don't have a shot.

If I miss, I'll kill him.

I think it's working. I...

Oh, God, Denny.

Oh.

-Oh, God, Denny.
-Oh, God.

Please, please, God. No.

No, no, no, no, no.

Oh, God.

Take the shot.

Hey, Chance!

Come on down
and get you some!

Shit.

What is she doing?

Move! We can see it.
You're in my shot.

Henrietta, what are you doing?

It's called seduction,
You dumb ass.

Take the shot when I tell you.

She's presenting herself.

We can see it!

This is completely unnecessary!

It's in!

The fuck?

Take the shot!

Time to get extinct,
you son of a bitch.

Again.

Jinx.

My hat.

Henrietta!

We did it, chum.

Feels good, doesn't it?

You beautiful bastard.

That was for Mr. Beagle.

Henrietta! Henrietta!

Henrietta! Henrietta.

Oh!

Oh. This gives new meaning
to be rode hard

and put away wet.

That is too much information.
But I'm glad you're okay.

You're one tough
old bird, Henrietta.

Aw! That's the nicest thing
you've ever said to me.

-We did it.
-Who are you?

-I'm Dr. Grant Walker.
-Oh, right, that's right.

-I remember you now.
-We did it together.

Woo-hoo! Yay!

Okay, let's not
get too carried away.

Ah, ow, ow!

-Oh, my! That's bad!
-Ouch! Ow!

And you have more.

Yeah, that hurts too. Ow!

-You're bleeding so much.
-Ouch! Oh, my God!

No one's checked
on me this whole time.

Let's take you to a hospital.

I've been bleeding
for a long time.

I knew those two were fucking.

--Oh.

-Let me help you there.
-You got me?

Yep. All right.

Yeah, you're a tough
old bird yourself.

Get your hand off
my ass now, Henrietta.

Yeah.
Let's see if I do.

Amber.

Hi.

- How are you?
- Better now.

How's, uh... uh...

What's her name?

Hannah?

I don't know, but I do know
that I would like

to kiss you right now.

Oh, there's my raptor pack!

Hey, I want you all to know

that I'm with
Dusty Peters' wife now.

This is Gina Del Vecchio.

Hi! It's Ginafer.

Ginafer!

And those are his kids.

They're mine now.

Pipe down back there, Phil!

Nothing surprises me anymore.

Yeah, I felt pretty bad
about my mistake.

You know, getting old Dusty
eaten and all.

But, uh, turns out he was,
uh, he was pretty abusive.

You know, like,
like really abusive.

Like total piece
of shit abusive.

Total piece of shit.

So, it looks like
I'm kind of the hero now.

I'm really happy for you.

So you two were
in the same grade?

Well, you know,
they held me back a few.

All right, I don't wanna keep
these lovebirds any longer.

We'll see y'all at the wedding.

-Bye! Nice to meet you.
-Bye.

Bye, y'all. Raptor pack!

So...

Is that a raptor claw
in your pocket, or...

It is. It's a raptor claw.

Where are we going, mister?