Original subtitles

♪ Dooby doo dum dum ♪ ♪ Dooby doo dum dum ♪

♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum da dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum da dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Come softly darling ♪ ♪ Come softly darling ♪

♪ Come to me stay ♪ ♪ Come to me stay ♪

♪ You're my obsession ♪ ♪ You're my obsession ♪

♪ Forever.. ♪

- Hello. - Hi. - Hello. - Hi.

Hey.

- Do you know them? - I do, yeah. - Do you know them? - I do, yeah.

Okay.

♪ I love I love you so ♪ ♪ I love I love you so ♪

- 'Hi.' - Hi.

- Is everything all right? - Certainly. - Is everything all right? - Certainly.

♪ All through all through the night ♪

- 'Hi, Anton.' - Oh, hi.

- How are you? - Great. Good to see you. - How are you? - Great. Good to see you.

You've finished your book.

- How are you? - You're back. - How are you? - You're back.

I thought you'd still be on tour.

Well, no. Who are all these people? Well, no. Who are all these people?

This is a marvelous party you're having here.

- Does Lionel know you're here? - No, I haven't seen him. - Does Lionel know you're here? - No, I haven't seen him.

Lionel. Lionel.

Ah!

Lionel, how are you? Lionel, how are you?

- Thank you. - Thank you.

See you later. See you later.

♪ The moon from up above dooby doo ♪ ♪ The moon from up above dooby doo ♪

♪ Come softly darling ♪ ♪ Come softly darling ♪

♪ Come softly darling ♪ ♪ Come softly darling ♪

♪ Oh softly ♪ ♪ Oh softly ♪

♪ Oh softly ♪ ♪ Oh softly ♪

♪ Dooby doo dum dum ♪

♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo.. ♪♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo.. ♪♪

So, you won't be out of a job. So, you won't be out of a job.

Everybody.. Shh, shh, shh, shh! Shh! Everybody.. Shh, shh, shh, shh! Shh!

It's, uh, it's-it's quite a-an aesthetic shock It's, uh, it's-it's quite a-an aesthetic shock

to have gathered you all up for this event. to have gathered you all up for this event.

This, uh, this diverse group of talent This, uh, this diverse group of talent

writers and editors and publishers, huh? writers and editors and publishers, huh?

The printed word has survived.

New day books has survived! New day books has survived!

[cheering and applause]

They, uh, they want us. They, uh, they want us.

They want to get us very badly.

They want to, uh, pull us down They want to, uh, pull us down

and make something clean and ugly and make something clean and ugly

and obscenely tall and profitable, huh and obscenely tall and profitable, huh

arise out of our ashes

but we are here! but we are here!

Thanks to all of your creative effort Thanks to all of your creative effort

New York's last real bookstore

will be around for a good long time to come. will be around for a good long time to come.

- Yay! - Bless us, everyone! - Yay! - Bless us, everyone!

- Yeah, alright! Whoo! - Alright!

[cheering and applause]

(male #1) Congratulations!

Oh, no, no, no, no. We've hired all these sweet

unemployed actors to do that. Thank you. unemployed actors to do that. Thank you.

Oh-ho!

So, what do you think? Did we pull it off? So, what do you think? Did we pull it off?

You're a wonder.

We pulled it off, didn't we?

Where would you have gone if the store had folded? Where would you have gone if the store had folded?

I don't know. It's unthinkable, isn't it? I don't know. It's unthinkable, isn't it?

Hang on to this woman, Lionel.

Loyalty like this doesn't walk through the door every day. Loyalty like this doesn't walk through the door every day.

I guess you've noticed that Izzy has featured you

in our window for the past three weeks. in our window for the past three weeks.

Uh, when is this much-publicized reading to take place?

On the 20th. On the 20th.

I'm very loyal to neighborhood authors.

I'm very loyal to powerful women. I'm very loyal to powerful women.

Excuse me. Hi. Excuse me. Hi.

Look, you don't have to hang around. I'll close up.

- I don't mind. - No, no, no, no. Go ahead. - I don't mind. - No, no, no, no. Go ahead.

Go on. Go on.

Oh, uh, here, Izzy, Izzy. Come here. Oh, uh, here, Izzy, Izzy. Come here.

- Take this. Come on, come on. - Lionel

Always handy to have around the house. Always handy to have around the house.

- Come on. - Thanks.

- What a wonderful party. - Isn't it? - What a wonderful party. - Isn't it?

- 'Good night.' - Good night. - 'Good night.' - Good night.

Izzy.

I didn't mean to be so glib back there.

Um, here. You can bill this to me. Um, here. You can bill this to me.

All these years I've been coming here

you've always been..

You probably have it already

but what the hell.

Thank you.

Good night.

Good night.

"Izzy dear

"it's women like you

"who make the world liquid and even "who make the world liquid and even

still in beauty born." still in beauty born."

Hmm.

- Hello. - Huh!

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

I was gonna say something

but I just felt like watching you. but I just felt like watching you.

- What's so funny? - Nothing.

Here. Here.

(Nick) 'I got this deal on this editing room.'

The catch is I got to do it all in three days. The catch is I got to do it all in three days.

Four weeks of work in three days. Four weeks of work in three days.

Talk about your high-wire act.

Need something to get down? Need something to get down?

No. I just thought a little wine, a little talk.

I could, uh, spend the night if you want me to.

Where's Katrina?

Chicago.

Okay.

[instrumental music]

[car honking] [car honking]

♪ When your heart stops pounding ♪

♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪ ♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪

♪ Give me a call ♪ ♪ Give me a call ♪

♪ When your heart stops pounding ♪

♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪ ♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪

♪ Give me a call ♪

♪ You buy me my potato chips ♪

♪ You walk me home ♪ ♪ You walk me home ♪

♪ You practically adore me.. ♪ ♪ You practically adore me.. ♪

(male #2) 'Oh, that's the first edition.'

♪ You never look me in the eye ♪ ♪ You never look me in the eye ♪

- Is he an obsession? - What? - Is he an obsession? - What?

[laughs] [laughs]

- 'See you.' - Bye.

♪ When your heart stops pounding ♪

♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪ ♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪

♪ Give me a call ♪ ♪ Give me a call ♪

♪ When your heart stops pounding ♪

♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪ ♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪

♪ Give me a call ♪

♪ Hair looks good face looks great ♪

♪ Baby you're just my kind of guy ♪ ♪ Baby you're just my kind of guy ♪

♪ I would love to kiss your lips ♪ ♪ I would love to kiss your lips ♪

♪ But you're too terrified ♪

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

♪ When your heart stops pounding ♪

♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪ ♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪

♪ Give me a call ♪ ♪ Give me a call ♪

♪ When your heart stops pounding ♪

♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪ ♪ Pounding pounding pounding pounding ♪

♪ Give me a call ♪

♪ When your heart stops pounding pounding.. ♪♪ ♪ When your heart stops pounding pounding.. ♪♪

(Izzy) 'Just hold still. One more.' (Izzy) 'Just hold still. One more.'

- Ay! - 'Hold still.'

- You're killing me. - 'You want me to do it?'

- You don't have to kill me. - Now hold still. - You don't have to kill me. - Now hold still.

One more.

- Ay! - Okay. - Ay! - Okay.

- 'That's it?' - Yeah.

- 'You sure?' - Yeah.

'You be sure.' 'You be sure.'

You don't want me to run around

like an old lady with a beard. like an old lady with a beard.

Well, I do see a few more little ones.

- 'So?' - You want me to do them? - 'So?' - You want me to do them?

- 'What else? Pull, pull!' - Okay.

Just two more. Just two more.

Okay, okay, that's enough.

- How do I look? - Beautiful.

(Izzy) 'Listen to this one.'

'I'm in the ocean' 'I'm in the ocean'

'and the water's a-a funny color'

'maybe pink or something' 'maybe pink or something'

'maybe like something's bled there recently. 'maybe like something's bled there recently.

And I'm standing, uh.. I-I'm not floating. And I'm standing, uh.. I-I'm not floating.

I'm not swimming, I'm standing and..

...the water level's up to here on me.. ...the water level's up to here on me..

...and then the next thing I-I know

it-it drops way down to here.

It's good luck. Water is good luck. It's good luck. Water is good luck.

You're going to find something good.

It's good. It's good. It's good. It's good.

Going to find some money, something good.

Such a, such a lousy Such a, such a lousy

bundle of old paper I'm carrying.

Here. It's too heavy. Here. It's too heavy.

- Bubbie-- - Give me a break.

Help me out. Take a load off my back. Help me out. Take a load off my back.

Bubbie..

...this is $500. ...this is $500.

Oh, yeah? That's all?

- Where did you get it? - You saw. - Where did you get it? - You saw.

You're carrying this around? What's wrong with a bank?

I like this. This is like. I like this. This is like.

This is my bank. This-this I trust.

- You gave me $500. - So? - You gave me $500. - So?

For what?

Do I need a reason to give my grandchild Do I need a reason to give my grandchild

a little something?

You did a good job. You got paid for it. You did a good job. You got paid for it.

A $100 for each whisker you pulled. A $100 for each whisker you pulled.

Good price?

A good price. A good price.

[both laugh]

[instrumental music] [instrumental music]

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

[cycle bell ringing] [cycle bell ringing]

- Pull your dress down. - It is down. - Pull your dress down. - It is down.

Naked legs. Oy, what can I do? Heh! Naked legs. Oy, what can I do? Heh!

I brought you the oranges. I'll bring over a bag later. I brought you the oranges. I'll bring over a bag later.

- 'Don't scream.' - 'Why should I scream?'

- 'Hannah's coming' - 'Who?' - 'Hannah's coming' - 'Who?'

Hannah. She's coming over.

Why should I scream? Why should I scream?

It's Hannah. Hannah the shadchan. It's Hannah. Hannah the shadchan.

You made an appointment with a marriage broker?

Ida. Idella. Ida. Idella.

This is it. This is my granddaughter. This is it. This is my granddaughter.

Yes. She's a beauty.

Ain't she a beauty? Ain't she a beauty?

Excuse me, but I don't know what you think you're doing-- Excuse me, but I don't know what you think you're doing--

F-f-first you'll listen. Then you'll talk.

Very nice. Very nice girl. Very nice. Very nice girl.

- She lives by her parents? - No. - She lives by her parents? - No.

They live in Florida with red buttons.

All the social security checks under one roof. All the social security checks under one roof.

You can have it.

So, Isabelle, you got your own apartment? So, Isabelle, you got your own apartment?

No, she lives alone in a room No, she lives alone in a room

like a dog.

A dog should live alone, not people. A dog. A dog should live alone, not people. A dog.

It is not a room. It's an apartment. It is not a room. It's an apartment.

A very nice apartment. You know. You've been there.

There's a bedroom, a bathroom-- There's a bedroom, a bathroom--

Sure, with bars on the windows like a prison.

Someone should crawl in at night, I'm always thinking. Someone should crawl in at night, I'm always thinking.

- Stop thinking. - Why not?

[burps] Excuse me, darling. [burps] Excuse me, darling.

I got to think. If I'll wait for you, heh I got to think. If I'll wait for you, heh

you'll never do it.

What are you talking about?

You, I'm talking about. You. You, I'm talking about. You.

Bubbie, this is not the way I live.

This is a 100 years ago. This is a 100 years ago.

A girl your age are ready.

- How old are you? - 33. - How old are you? - 33.

None of your business.

I got some nice boys. I got some nice boys.

Fine, respectable boys.

- Not like Nate, the butcher. - Nah!

His mother's a spider. Ugh! His mother's a spider. Ugh!

He's got some big eye out for her. He's got some big eye out for her.

Well, she's a lovely girl.

She opens her eyes. She looks around. She opens her eyes. She looks around.

She meets a fella with a little help, huh? She meets a fella with a little help, huh?

[laughing]

Bubbie, I don't need that. Bubbie, I don't need that.

You'll heat it up. Five minutes in the broiler.

Please, sit down a minute. Please, sit down a minute.

You'll turn it once. That's all.

Listen to me! Sit down! Listen to me! Sit down!

Okay, okay. Okay, okay.

I am a happy person. I am a happy person.

I have everything.

I have a rent-controlled apartment people would kill for. I have a rent-controlled apartment people would kill for.

Do you have any idea how much that apartment

would go for on the open market? would go for on the open market?

Maybe $1,500 a month!

Pish, pish, pish. Pish, pish, pish.

I have a wonderful, wonderful job.

Guess who I called the other day? Guess who I called the other day?

Picked up the phone and called on his private number.

Isaac Singer. You know Isaac Bashevis Singer? Isaac Singer. You know Isaac Bashevis Singer?

He won the Nobel Prize!

I called him on his his unlisted number. I called him on his his unlisted number.

He knows me!

I know lots of famous writers I know lots of famous writers

and publishers, and editors.

I organize the most prestigious I organize the most prestigious

'reading series in New York.'

Me! I do it.

And I have plenty of friends. And I have plenty of friends.

Lots of women who are doing tremendous things

with their lives and don't need a-a man to feel complete. with their lives and don't need a-a man to feel complete.

It's not like I'm not going to say no It's not like I'm not going to say no

if someone walks into my life tomorrow

I'm not cancelling out that possibility

but Bubbie, please listen to me! but Bubbie, please listen to me!

I am not, I repeat, not holding my breath! I am not, I repeat, not holding my breath!

[Mrs. Kantor scoffs]

A professor once said

a college professor a college professor

"No matter how much money you got

if you're alone, you're sick." if you're alone, you're sick."

Ooh!

You listen to me. You listen to me.

Loneliness is a very lousy case.

[traffic bustling] [traffic bustling]

Candyce!

I know, I know. I gave in.

But I'm less threatening to the senior women this way. But I'm less threatening to the senior women this way.

[laughs] [laughs]

Then he gives me a copy of his book Then he gives me a copy of his book

and I open it up and he's written

"Izzy dear, it's women like you "Izzy dear, it's women like you

"who make the world liquid and even "who make the world liquid and even

still in beauty born."

Oh, I like that. Oh, I like that.

What I don't know is

is it my move or what?

- Is he married? - Separated. - Is he married? - Separated.

- Oh. - Very separated. - Oh. - Very separated.

Is that like very divorced

without all the messy paperwork? without all the messy paperwork?

Thanks.

Are you forgetting what I just went through?

Will you let me? Will you let me?

(female #1) 'I'm taking off his pants.' (female #1) 'I'm taking off his pants.'

I'm kissing him. I'm licking him. I'm kissing him. I'm licking him.

He's moaning.

He's saying, "Nice, baby. He's saying, "Nice, baby.

"Nice, baby.

Nice." Nice."

And then all of a sudden, I'm pulling this long And then all of a sudden, I'm pulling this long

long..

I mean, long hair out of my mouth. I mean, long hair out of my mouth.

It's blond. It's blond.

It's white.

- It's white blond. - Uh-huh!

- Uh-uh! - Hmm. - Uh-uh! - Hmm.

"I must have picked it up somewhere," he says. "I must have picked it up somewhere," he says.

"Everything's always floating around in the air," he says.

[scoffs] Suffer, fool. [scoffs] Suffer, fool.

(female #1) "Everything always flying around in the air."

(female #2) 'Hmm.' (female #2) 'Hmm.'

Maybe I'll just call him.

[instrumental music]

What's the matter?

I-I can't find Anton Maes' number. I-I can't find Anton Maes' number.

I need to..

...to firm things up for the reading. ...to firm things up for the reading.

Well, it's not in there.

He's a bit, uh, nutty about privacy. He's a bit, uh, nutty about privacy.

He makes you promise to keep it under lock and key. He makes you promise to keep it under lock and key.

[sighs] [sighs]

5-5-5..

[whispering] ...4-7-6-2. [whispering] ...4-7-6-2.

- Thanks. - Uh, be sure and eat that. - Thanks. - Uh, be sure and eat that.

When you're through.

You're insane!

You are in.. I'm hanging up, Marguerite. You are in.. I'm hanging up, Marguerite.

No!

[telephone rings] [telephone rings]

Not one word. I don't do this on the phone.

Meet me at the Provence in an hour.

Uh..

[door shuts]

[door opens] [door opens]

[indistinct chatter]

Anton Maes' table, please.

Is he expecting you?

Well, sort of. Well, sort of.

This way, please.

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

Oh, hi.

I'm sorry, I'm expecting someone. I'm sorry, I'm expecting someone.

I know, I tried calling back

but your line was busy. but your line was busy.

That was you?

[laughs] Oh.. [laughs] Oh..

Well...sit down.

- Oh, no, uh.. - No, no, no. Sit down. - Oh, no, uh.. - No, no, no. Sit down.

[speaking in foreign language] [speaking in foreign language]

She does this to me. My wife. She does this to me. My wife.

We've taken to meeting only in public places

where we're less likely to take

bloody bite-sized pieces out of each other. bloody bite-sized pieces out of each other.

Have you ever been there? Married?

- No. - Oh. - No. - Oh.

Living with someone?

Not at the moment. Not at the moment.

In the middle of something?

- No. - Hmm?

It's been a while. It's been a while.

"Ripe plums are falling.

"Now there are only seven. "Now there are only seven.

"May a fine lover come for me

"now while there's still time. "now while there's still time.

"Ripe plums are falling. "Ripe plums are falling.

"Now there are only three.

"May a fine lover come for me "May a fine lover come for me

"while there's still time.

"Ripe plums are falling. "Ripe plums are falling.

"I lay them in a shallow basket.

"May a fine lover come for me.

Tell me his name." Tell me his name."

What's that? What's that?

Confucius. "Book of songs."

Don't you know that? Don't you know that?

It's wonderful poems, essential poems. It's wonderful poems, essential poems.

It's poetry stripped to the skin, not to the bone. It's poetry stripped to the skin, not to the bone.

Do you know who publishes that?

[laughs] No. [laughs] No.

[laughing] No. Sorry.

No. I'll lend you my copy. No. I'll lend you my copy.

I'm trying to decide what section I'm trying to decide what section

of "The Cave Dweller" I should use for the reading.

I thought the chapter in the motel. I thought the chapter in the motel.

- Oh, something wrong with that? - No, no. That's a good choice.

Very vivid, that whole section. Very vivid, that whole section.

He's so hungry for her, it's unsettling. He's so hungry for her, it's unsettling.

Yes. Yes.

What I love most about your writing.. What I love most about your writing..

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Is its..

...deceptive accessibility. ...deceptive accessibility.

It reads like pulp fiction It reads like pulp fiction

and then you hear music.

Will you tell me that when I call you

with an anxiety attack at 4:00 in the morning? with an anxiety attack at 4:00 in the morning?

You have anxiety attacks?

Yes. Yes.

How about some dessert?

- No, not for me. - Oh, yeah. Take some. - No, not for me. - Oh, yeah. Take some.

[speaking in foreign language]

Here, have some hazelnut. Here, have some hazelnut.

[speaking in foreign language]

Merci.

Anything special you'll need for the reading? Anything special you'll need for the reading?

Oh, all the exotic extras, um.. Oh, all the exotic extras, um..

...a glass of water, some good reading light.

Well, sometimes people do have odd requests. Well, sometimes people do have odd requests.

Last year Porter Lovett--

- Can I try some of these? Yeah? - Sure. - Can I try some of these? Yeah? - Sure.

...had us build this enormous cradle and--

Mmm! It's a good one. Mmm! It's a good one.

And stayed there for the whole reading. And stayed there for the whole reading.

I'll save your dear Lionel that one expense.

What's he like to work for? What's he like to work for?

I mean he's a sweet guy, but does he pay you anything?

Yes, but he does not give me Yes, but he does not give me

two-hour lunch breaks.

Izzy..

...lots of plums left on your tree. ...lots of plums left on your tree.

I'll see you at the reading. I'll see you at the reading.

[women laughing] [women laughing]

The important thing is you shouldn't go naked. The important thing is you shouldn't go naked.

- I'm not going at all. - You're going! - I'm not going at all. - You're going!

You're going, but not like this.

You'll put on a nice dress. You'll put on a nice dress.

You'll put on stockings.

- No naked legs. - Forget it. - No naked legs. - Forget it.

Ah! Ah!

[speaking in foreign language]

Oh, yeah?

You didn't know your bubbie speaks Korean. Heh-heh. You didn't know your bubbie speaks Korean. Heh-heh.

You look like a million bucks, Mr. Kim.

- How's business? - Oh, it's so-so. - How's business? - Oh, it's so-so.

Yeah? Huh?

Now, you listen to me, my girl. Now, you listen to me, my girl.

Friends is friends

and you can do this with them. and you can do this with them.

A husband's a husband for life.

Maybe I don't want a husband. Maybe I don't want a husband.

Oh, don't talk crazy.

If I did, he wouldn't be a pickle man. If I did, he wouldn't be a pickle man.

Get off your high horse, Miss Universe.

This man's just lookin'.

He ain't askin' to buy.

[doorbell rings]

- Hello. - Hello. Come in. - Hello. - Hello. Come in.

Come in.

Mrs. Mandelbaum.

His father just died last year. His father just died last year.

There's a younger brother, Mickie.

Not much there Not much there

so it's Sam's business, naturally.

[chuckles] [chuckles]

What are you waiting for? What are you waiting for?

Sit down. Sit down.

- 'These are for you.' - 'Thank you.'

You made a little spread, Ida? You made a little spread, Ida?

That's me. 21 years old. That's me. 21 years old.

Cheeks like apples. Cheeks like apples.

They fought like cats and dogs for me.

I got rings. I got rings.

Big chocolate cakes

from the fanciest bakeries from the fanciest bakeries

they brought to my mother.

I just looked. I listened. I just looked. I listened.

'They all had the same song and dance.'

They all wanted sweet Idella. They all wanted sweet Idella.

They all wanted me. They all wanted me.

So, Sam, talk to us.

Give us the picture, yes? Give us the picture, yes?

Well, Mrs. Mandelbaum, I don't know.

- What do you want to know? - Your future, your plans. - What do you want to know? - Your future, your plans.

What you dream about, your thoughts. What you dream about, your thoughts.

What you do with yourself, anything.

Well, uh..

I'm a pretty happy fellow, you know. I'm a pretty happy fellow, you know.

I like to get up in the morning

and hear the birds tweet-tweet.

I put on a clean shirt I put on a clean shirt

walk to shul, make the morning prayers

have a cup of coffee at my friend Schlomo's have a cup of coffee at my friend Schlomo's

9:00 o'clock my doors open.

It begins. It begins.

Ain't he something?

Fresh, new Fresh, new

likes the modern way

but he understands what's good. Hm! but he understands what's good. Hm!

I got to tell you something, Sam.

I-I've been buying pickles from Hiam I-I've been buying pickles from Hiam

for 30 years, maybe. for 30 years, maybe.

So, please, don't hold it against me.

(Sam) I look at it this way, Mrs. Kantor. (Sam) I look at it this way, Mrs. Kantor.

Whatever happens between us I'm doing you a favor

giving you my pickles. You've been missing the best. giving you my pickles. You've been missing the best.

He knows what's what. This is confidence! He knows what's what. This is confidence!

So, what have you got to say for yourself, Isabelle? So, what have you got to say for yourself, Isabelle?

Excuse me?

Idella..

...I want to take a peek ...I want to take a peek

at the curtains in the living room.

What? What? What? What?

You've got to show me how you make them so nice.

I can walk for myself I can walk for myself

very nicely, thank you.

- Listen.. - Yes? - Listen.. - Yes?

I didn't have anything to do with this.

It-it wasn't my idea. It-it wasn't my idea.

You feel funny, huh?

This isn't the way I live. This isn't the way I live.

This isn't the way I do things.

How do you live? How do you live?

Well, for one thing, I-I don't live down here.

- I live uptown. - Is that right? - I live uptown. - Is that right?

A million miles from here. A million miles from here.

This isn't your style.

This isn't my style.

Sometimes you can change your style.

Look, I'm sorry you had to go through this. Look, I'm sorry you had to go through this.

but, my bubbie's impossible--

I have this friend Harry Shipman I have this friend Harry Shipman

Shipman Imports.

Lox, caviar, fancy stuff. Lox, caviar, fancy stuff.

For years he used to wear this little brown cap

with the brim pulled down, you wondered how he could see. with the brim pulled down, you wondered how he could see.

One day, he's crossing Delancey, One day, he's crossing Delancey,

this big wind comes, poof, it's gone.

He runs after it, but a truck gets there before he does. He runs after it, but a truck gets there before he does.

He comes in to me crying. He feels so bad. He comes in to me crying. He feels so bad.

"Harry," I said, "Here.

"Take $5.00, go across to Finkle "Take $5.00, go across to Finkle

"and buy yourself a new one.

But do me a favor. Forget the brown cap." But do me a favor. Forget the brown cap."

He goes, he comes back an hour later.

He's a new man. He's a new man.

A gray Felt Stetson. A beauty.

The next day, he makes an engagement. The next day, he makes an engagement.

Between you and me.. Between you and me..

...he must have given Finkle some nova on the side.

That was no $5.00 hat. That was no $5.00 hat.

A man trades some lox for a Stetson

and gets a bride in the bargain. Very romantic. and gets a bride in the bargain. Very romantic.

Oh, he had his eye on her for a long time

but she couldn't see him. but she couldn't see him.

That little brown cap.

She couldn't see his eyes. She couldn't see his eyes.

Sam. So, what's the plan? Sam. So, what's the plan?

- You forget, Ida, why I'm here. - I don't forget. - You forget, Ida, why I'm here. - I don't forget.

So, maybe, you'll let me do my job.

You got some more hot water-- You got some more hot water--

Henka, Henka, give your mouth a rest.

It'll thank you. It'll thank you.

Sam, what's the plan?

Well, I thought Saturday night Well, I thought Saturday night

if you're free

I could take Isabelle to dinner. I could take Isabelle to dinner.

My cousin Mishka

The Rumanian Palace.

He'll take good care of you. He'll take good care of you.

Thank you, but I don't think so.

(Mandelbaum) What's this? (Mandelbaum) What's this?

It's been lovely meeting you, Sam

and I appreciate your kind invitation and I appreciate your kind invitation

but...I don't think I want to go. but...I don't think I want to go.

Thank you very much.

Well, she spoke. Well, she spoke.

You look. You meet. You try. You see. You look. You meet. You try. You see.

Sometimes it fits, sometimes it don't. Sometimes it fits, sometimes it don't.

[instrumental music] [instrumental music]

[speaking in foreign language] [speaking in foreign language]

You should try a new hat sometime, Isabelle. You should try a new hat sometime, Isabelle.

It might look good on you.

"It had been a very long time

"since Annie had seen him in his underwear "since Annie had seen him in his underwear

"and she was almost saddened by the sight of him "and she was almost saddened by the sight of him

"in those plain white jockey shorts.

[all chuckle] [all chuckle]

"He had always worn some kind of patterned fabric.

Some of kind of European three-quarters--" Some of kind of European three-quarters--"

He's running way over.

What can I do? What can I do?

"His body had been..

"...very nice. "...very nice.

[chuckles]

"She was spreading moisture cream "She was spreading moisture cream

"up and down her legs

"when he came out of the shower. "when he came out of the shower.

"He moved up behind her

and bumped against her playfully." and bumped against her playfully."

I can't. I can't.

Lionel, I can't.

"He pulled the damp towel from the rack. "He pulled the damp towel from the rack.

This place is very country." This place is very country."

I'm sorry.

I'm afraid we're gonna have to stop there

or-or we won't have time to sell any of your books. or-or we won't have time to sell any of your books.

(all) Aw.

Audible sigh. Audible sigh.

[applauding]

Thank you, Anton Maes. Thank you, Anton Maes.

Mr. Maes will be signing copies of "The Cave Dweller" Mr. Maes will be signing copies of "The Cave Dweller"

downstairs in the front of the store.

There you go.

You'll like this one even better.

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

Arm falling off?

[chuckles] [chuckles]

They seem to like it. Next one.

- Hello. - You're welcome. - Hello. - You're welcome.

- Thank you. - Thank you.

Thank you.

There you go.

That it? That it?

- I think so. - Oh!

Mmm! I hope it didn't disappoint you. Mmm! I hope it didn't disappoint you.

You enjoy doing this, don't you?

Beats writing. Beats writing.

Give me a minute to finish up and I'll be ready to go.

- Where are we going? - My turn to take you to lunch. - Where are we going? - My turn to take you to lunch.

Aren't you hungry after all that?

I'm starving.

Oh. This is Myla Bondy, my assistant. Oh. This is Myla Bondy, my assistant.

- Izzy, uh.. - Grossman.

Ex-assistant. Ex-assistant.

She can afford to be snotty.

She just won a full ride to Oxford. She just won a full ride to Oxford.

Izzy invited me for lunch.

Oh, I bet she didn't bargain on your entourage. Oh, I bet she didn't bargain on your entourage.

It's Myla's big sendoff today. You don't mind, do you? It's Myla's big sendoff today. You don't mind, do you?

- What's that? - If she joins us?

- Oh, no. - Sure? - Oh, no. - Sure?

Yes. Absolutely. Of course not.

Oh, that was just sensational, Izzy. Thanks. Oh, that was just sensational, Izzy. Thanks.

- One more. - No. - One more. - No.

- One more. - Please.

Oh, are you alright? Oh, are you alright?

- Michael Framingham. - What? Let me get this.

Hampstead Heath.. Hampstead Heath..

...London. Uh..

How about Malcolm Bright? Malco-- How about Malcolm Bright? Malco--

No, thanks. Let him reciprocate all over you. No, thanks. Let him reciprocate all over you.

- You won't be lonely. - Yeah, you've seen to that. - You won't be lonely. - Yeah, you've seen to that.

Come on.

Why didn't you drink any wine?

I have to come back to work.

This was on Lionel? You didn't pay for this? This was on Lionel? You didn't pay for this?

No. No.

Well, uh, thanks again.

Really. This is me.

Oh, bye. You're welcome. Oh, bye. You're welcome.

You were very helpful this morning. Thank you.

It was a great reading. It was a great reading.

Thanks to you.

Bye.

[door shuts]

[baby coos]

(male #3) Ladies and gentlemen.. (male #3) Ladies and gentlemen..

...I'd like to take a few moments

to explain to you exactly

what we're going to be doing here. what we're going to be doing here.

Firstly, we're going to be circumcising this baby Firstly, we're going to be circumcising this baby

in accordance with the covenant signed by Abraham and God in accordance with the covenant signed by Abraham and God

'where God promised to make a great nation'

'of the seed of Abraham.' 'of the seed of Abraham.'

For the numerical value..

Hi, girls. Hi, girls.

[gasps]

Our first baby. Our first baby.

- Where's Ricki? - In the bedroom.

She couldn't take it. She couldn't take it.

But he may very well start to cry.. But he may very well start to cry..

...and everybody automatically thinks

that he is perceiving pain. that he is perceiving pain.

The truth of the matter is The truth of the matter is

that the foreskin of an infant

is relatively insensitive to pain. is relatively insensitive to pain.

Why, then, is he crying?

A, he will be cold. A, he will be cold.

'B, babies cry.'

He looks like Ricki, don't he? He looks like Ricki, don't he?

He's certainly got her balls.

Now, if ladies care to look at the gentlemen.. Now, if ladies care to look at the gentlemen..

...they'll see that they start ...they'll see that they start

with their hands at their sides

and as it progresses, they go like this. and as it progresses, they go like this.

[all laugh]

Is the father here?

He's over there. He's over there.

(male #3) '"Abraham, our forefather'

'"walk before me and be perfect.."' '"walk before me and be perfect.."'

- Are they living together? - Not yet.

She's doing the baby by herself. She's doing the baby by herself.

"That the creator, blessed is he "That the creator, blessed is he

has commanded us to circumcise."

[baby crying]

[man speaking in foreign language] [man speaking in foreign language]

Karen, are you alright?

Just tell me when it's over. Just tell me when it's over.

[man speaking in foreign language] [man speaking in foreign language]

Oh, look at that little doll.

(male #3) 'And now Bart's beloved Aunt Miriam' (male #3) 'And now Bart's beloved Aunt Miriam'

'who's filling in for his grandparents'

'who could not be with us today' 'who could not be with us today'

'will return Bart to his crib. Please respond..'

Oh, look, look, look, look. Here's mommy. Oh, look, look, look, look. Here's mommy.

Sweet little boychik.

(male #3) '"Of the study of the Torah..' (male #3) '"Of the study of the Torah..'

(Isabella) 'Ricki.'

(male #3) '"The doing of good deeds.."' (male #3) '"The doing of good deeds.."'

(all) "The doing of good deeds.."

(male #3) '"And marital happiness."'

(all) "And marital happiness."

Right.

L'chaim. L'chaim.

(all) L'chaim.

- Nice work, rabbi. - Thank you. - Nice work, rabbi. - Thank you.

[clears throat]

Did you see this coming? Did you see this coming?

Well, I'm sure she's wanted to have a baby

for a long time. for a long time.

Yeah.

Her own mother, my own sister Her own mother, my own sister

didn't have the guts to show up.

That's terrible. That's terrible.

Terrible, isn't it?

And when I was your age, I was married. And when I was your age, I was married.

I had a life. Everything in place.

- Aunt Miriam, um.. - What? - Aunt Miriam, um.. - What?

- Would you do this? - Huh? Sure. What?

- Take our picture. - Okay.

- Where-- - Izzy, come over here. - Where-- - Izzy, come over here.

Sure, it's easy. Sure, it's easy.

Alright, let's line up.

I haven't seen you girls together like this I haven't seen you girls together like this

since high school.

Say "cheesecake." Say "cheesecake."

(all) Cheesecake.

[camera clicks] [camera clicks]

What was that?

That was, as they say, intense. That was, as they say, intense.

Do you think she's going to be alright?

Absolutely. She's a survivor. Absolutely. She's a survivor.

I can't go back to work.

I don't remember where I live. I don't remember where I live.

I need a cup of coffee.

And I'm sitting there

and my face is starting to hurt. and my face is starting to hurt.

And I'm thinking, "Christ! I got 45 minutes And I'm thinking, "Christ! I got 45 minutes

"to show this guy how loving, smart

"supportive, funny "supportive, funny

"independent

and sexy I am."

And all I can really think about

is how I'd rather be sitting home is how I'd rather be sitting home

watching the baseball game.

I have a friend who thinks it's all a myth. I have a friend who thinks it's all a myth.

What?

The appalling lack of desirable The appalling lack of desirable

single, available men.

Oh, yeah? Oh, yeah?

Tell your friend to give me a call. Tell your friend to give me a call.

No, I'm swimming. Thank you.

Oh, I wish I knew someone to fix you up with. Oh, I wish I knew someone to fix you up with.

All David and I know are old married couples. All David and I know are old married couples.

Actually, I am seeing someone.

- Oh? - You know Anton Maes? - Oh? - You know Anton Maes?

The writer?

[phone ringing] [phone ringing]

- Hello? - 'Morning, glory!'

(Mrs. Grossman) 'You know what national holiday this is?' (Mrs. Grossman) 'You know what national holiday this is?'

Hi, pussela. Got a little surprise for you.

Daddy's been organizing this all week. Daddy's been organizing this all week.

♪ Mmm ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪ ♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪ ♪ To you ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪ ♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ To you ♪

♪ Happy birthday ♪ ♪ Happy birthday ♪

♪ Dear Izzy ♪ ♪ Dear Izzy ♪

♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪ ♪ Happy birthday to you ♪♪

Yay!

♪ And many more ♪♪ ♪ And many more ♪♪

Happy birthday!

You have anything special planned for tonight?

Dinner at Lutece.

- Lutece? - Wow! - Lutece? - Wow!

"It's Like That" by Run-D.M.C.] "It's Like That" by Run-D.M.C.]

Uh, two specials with everything, please.

You got it. You got it.

A little extra sauerkraut on hers. It's her birthday.

Alright. Alright.

♪ Your highs and your lows ♪

- Here you go. - Oh, please, put that away. - Here you go. - Oh, please, put that away.

♪ It's like that and that's the way it is ♪ ♪ It's like that and that's the way it is ♪

♪ Bills fly higher every day ♪ ♪ Bills fly higher every day ♪

♪ We receive much lower pay ♪ ♪ We receive much lower pay ♪

♪ I'd rather stay young go out and play ♪ ♪ I'd rather stay young go out and play ♪

♪ It's like that and that's the way.. ♪♪

♪ Some enchanted evening ♪ ♪ Some enchanted evening ♪

♪ You will see a stranger ♪ ♪ You will see a stranger ♪

♪ You will see a stranger ♪ ♪ You will see a stranger ♪

♪ Across a crowded room ♪

♪ And somehow you'll know ♪ ♪ And somehow you'll know ♪

♪ You'll know even then ♪ ♪ You'll know even then ♪

♪ You'll know you will see him again and again ♪ ♪ You'll know you will see him again and again ♪

♪ Some enchanted evening ♪ ♪ Some enchanted evening ♪

♪ You will hear him laughing ♪

♪ You will hear him laughing across a crowded room ♪ ♪ You will hear him laughing across a crowded room ♪

♪ Then fly to his side ♪ ♪ Then fly to his side ♪

♪ And make him your own ♪ ♪ And make him your own ♪

♪ Or all through your life ♪

♪ You will dream all alone ♪ ♪ You will dream all alone ♪

♪ Once you have found him never let him go ♪ ♪ Once you have found him never let him go ♪

♪ Once you have found him ♪ ♪ Once you have found him ♪

♪ Never let him go ♪♪ ♪ Never let him go ♪♪ ♪ Never let him go ♪♪

I passed the pickle man yesterday. Huh! I passed the pickle man yesterday. Huh!

You mixed him up plenty, you murderer.

Bubbie, please. Bubbie, please.

Ah, you don't know a good boy when you see one.

Bubbie, there's got to be something happening Bubbie, there's got to be something happening

between two people.

There's got to be, you know, like, heat. There's got to be, you know, like, heat.

Heat? I'll give you heat.

[doorbell rings]

Aren't you going to answer it?

Nah, it's those kids, those animals. Nah, it's those kids, those animals.

They should only break their arms off.

They pull the buttons off the elevators. They pull the buttons off the elevators.

They mark up the walls like..

Isabelle, don't! Don't! Isabelle, don't open. Isabelle, don't! Don't! Isabelle, don't open.

Isabelle, don't open! Isabelle, don't open!

'Isabelle!'

- Hello. - Hello.

Got it. Got it.

- Thank you. - Yeah. Thank you.

- Got it? - Yep.

(Mrs. Kantor) 'They made a mistake. It's the wrong person.'

Give me that. Give me that.

You don't know how to open up a package. You don't know how to open up a package.

It's-it's good string you're wasting. It's-it's good string you're wasting.

Such..

Such nice, heavy paper. Such nice, heavy paper.

Something to save, Miss Fancy. Something to save, Miss Fancy.

Ooh, bubbie, look. Ooh, bubbie, look.

Who is this?

[instrumental music]

Bubbie, I'm being wooed. Bubbie, I'm being wooed.

Wooed? What is wooed?

[giggles]

Hmm.

[instrumental music] [instrumental music]

(male #4) 'Alright, I'm backing it up! Watch out!' (male #4) 'Alright, I'm backing it up! Watch out!'

[traffic bustling]

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

[siren wailing] [siren wailing]

- What else? - You got sauerkraut?

(Sam) 'A quart of sauerkraut.'

[siren wailing]

- That it? - Uh, my pickles. - That it? - Uh, my pickles.

Were you ever i-i-i-in Bellevue Hospital? Were you ever i-i-i-in Bellevue Hospital?

The nurses there with the, with the wash cloths The nurses there with the, with the wash cloths

they got there

'they couldn't stop washing me.' 'they couldn't stop washing me.'

[man chuckles]

- Hi. - Hiya. - Hi. - Hiya.

It fits.

Almost as if I were there in the store with you. Almost as if I were there in the store with you.

You were.

Well, I-I just wanted to stop by

and tell you how much I appreciated the gesture. and tell you how much I appreciated the gesture.

You sure it fits? Finkle said you could take it back. You sure it fits? Finkle said you could take it back.

- No problem. - It was a lovely thing to do.

If you want I can go with you, or you can go by yourself If you want I can go with you, or you can go by yourself

if you're more comfortable. 423 Delancey.

- It fits. - You don't need a receipt. - It fits. - You don't need a receipt.

- He said. - It fits!

Good. It looks great. Good. It looks great.

- Is this the one? - Mick! Mickey!

Look, I don't want to keep you. Look, I don't want to keep you.

- Please. - Are you a nurse?

Let me go across the street for some coffee. Let me go across the street for some coffee.

Sam, I don't want to do this.

I just came by to thank you. I just came by to thank you.

That's all.

I-I'm really very, very flattered. I-I'm really very, very flattered.

You know you ought to take all that You know you ought to take all that

good romantic energy that you have

and it is good, it's creative and it is good, it's creative

and refreshing, and.. and refreshing, and..

...it won't go unappreciated

on-on the right woman. on-on the right woman.

I wish there were a way that I could say this. I wish there were a way that I could say this.

You did fine.

Oh, my God.

The return of Annie Hall. The return of Annie Hall.

- Good morning. - Great hat. - Good morning. - Great hat.

[engine revving]

[keys jingling]

Then on Tuesday we switch Then on Tuesday we switch

and Mark picks up for Cecilia.

- Wait a minute. Wait a minute. - 'Yeah?' - Wait a minute. Wait a minute. - 'Yeah?'

So this is becoming, like, a regular thing? So this is becoming, like, a regular thing?

- It is a regular thing. - Not as far as I'm concerned.

So, what's the problem? So, what's the problem?

Cecilia's show tapes every Tuesday

and we all have to adjust, right? and we all have to adjust, right?

What is that on your head? What is that on your head?

Please, we're talking public access.

We're talking dial-a-psychic. We're talking dial-a-psychic.

We're talking naked talk shows.

We're talking deeply unimportant We're talking deeply unimportant

and they want me to adjust!

Okay, listen, I didn't want to flaunt this.. Okay, listen, I didn't want to flaunt this..

...but for a little taste of reality here..

"Arts peek, hosted by Cecilia Monk "Arts peek, hosted by Cecilia Monk

Mondays on channel T. Worth catching."

- It's nice, huh? - Yeah. - It's nice, huh? - Yeah.

[instrumental music]

♪ Fa la la la la la la ♪ ♪ Fa la la la la la la ♪ ♪ Fa la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪ ♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪ ♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la la la la la ♪ ♪ La la la la la la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪ ♪ La la la ♪

♪ La la la ♪♪ ♪ La la la ♪♪

♪ Get your hands off her ♪

♪ Get your hands off her ♪

♪ Now on the stand a show of hands ♪

♪ Get your hands off her ♪ ♪ Get your hands off her ♪

♪ Get your hands off her ♪

♪ Hand in glove looking to be loved ♪ ♪ Hand in glove looking to be loved ♪

♪ Get your hands off her ♪

Our guest has been Pat Oleszko Our guest has been Pat Oleszko

uh, performing this weekend at sidewinder uh, performing this weekend at sidewinder

in a benefit for the guerrilla women's artist collective.

Don't miss it. Don't miss it.

Okay, this is Cecilia Monk for "Arts Peek." Okay, this is Cecilia Monk for "Arts Peek."

See you next week.

♪ Get your hands off her ♪ ♪ Get your hands off her ♪

♪ Get your hands off her ♪♪

[telephone ring] [telephone ring]

[indistinct chatter on TV] [indistinct chatter on TV]

- Hello? - 'Marilyn, it's Izzy.'

Oh, hi, Izz. Just a second. Oh, hi, Izz. Just a second.

'Yeah?'

I got a guy I want you to meet. I got a guy I want you to meet.

- Oh, really? - 'Really.'

Mickey, right? Mickey, right?

Yeah.

Is Sam around? Is Sam around?

Yeah, he's over there.

Thanks.

- 'Go!' - 'Here it comes!'

(male #5) 'Got it!'

[instrumental music] [instrumental music]

- Go! - I'm going!

Hey, Sam, you got a fan club. Hey, Sam, you got a fan club.

I'm in the middle of a game here. I'm in the middle of a game here.

I can wait.

[breathing heavily] [breathing heavily]

Okay.

Okay, let's go.

[indistinct chatter]

[music continues] [music continues]

Hit it, baby!

What, are you showing off? What, are you showing off?

Hey, check it out.

- Come on! - Let's go! - Come on! - Let's go!

[indistinct chatter]

I said some really stupid things the other day I said some really stupid things the other day

and I'd like to make it up to you. and I'd like to make it up to you.

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

- Hi. - Hi. - Hi. - Hi.

You look great!

- I do? - Yeah. - I do? - Yeah.

- Thanks. - Okay.

Here's how it's going to go.

When we pass by, look the other way. When we pass by, look the other way.

We're not supposed to know each other's here.

This is going to look very spontaneous, okay? This is going to look very spontaneous, okay?

So, when I futz with my earring like this So, when I futz with my earring like this

you come over to the table.

That's the signal. Got it? That's the signal. Got it?

Then what do I do?

Just stop by. Say hi. Just stop by. Say hi.

I'll introduce you

invite you to sit down.

- I'll excuse myself.. - Okay. - I'll excuse myself.. - Okay.

And if the chemistry's good, you do something about it. And if the chemistry's good, you do something about it.

- If not, nothing risked. - Yeah, okay.

Bye.

(male #6) 'Two amstel lights, please.' (male #6) 'Two amstel lights, please.'

(male #7) 'You haven't seen Karen, have you?'

[door creaks] [door creaks]

Hi. Hi.

[door creaks]

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

[men laughing]

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

I think you're going to like this.

California-mex. California-mex.

What does that mean?

- More sprouts, less grease. - Ah. - More sprouts, less grease. - Ah.

Two more?

Thanks so much for coming tonight. Thanks so much for coming tonight.

I felt so clumsy the other day.

It was an awkward situation. It was an awkward situation.

Mrs. Mandelbaum setting it up like that. Mrs. Mandelbaum setting it up like that.

I should have spoken to you on my own

the first time I saw you. the first time I saw you.

- When was that? - The first time?

About three and a half years ago, I think. About three and a half years ago, I think.

Where? Where?

In the neighborhood.

On the benches with your bubbie. Around. On the benches with your bubbie. Around.

Really?

Then one day Mrs. Mandelbaum comes by the store Then one day Mrs. Mandelbaum comes by the store

does her usual spiel.

Shows me her pictures, tells her lies. Shows me her pictures, tells her lies.

"This one's 18, a scholar.

This one's 22, a beauty." This one's 22, a beauty."

Some of these pictures were taken

before the flashbulb was invented, but.. before the flashbulb was invented, but..

...it's like this little ritual we have.

She has a business, and I respect that. She has a business, and I respect that.

I'm a bachelor. She can't help herself.

Wait a minute.

You mean you didn't hire her?

No! No!

But on this particular day..

...she pulled this from her bag.

[chuckles] [chuckles]

And I said, "Yes, Mrs. Mandelbaum..

...this one I'll meet."

Uh, would you excuse me a minute?

I'll be right back.

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

What am I doing here? What am I doing here?

I've got to warm things up a little.

I'll work you in during dessert, okay? I'll work you in during dessert, okay?

- Be patient. - This doesn't feel good.

I want to do this tactfully. I want to do this tactfully.

I don't think you want to do this at all.

Of course I do.

Then why am I sitting halfway across the room Then why am I sitting halfway across the room

all by myself watching you

have this great time with the man I-- have this great time with the man I--

I'm not having this great time.

I mean, he's a perfectly charming guy. I mean, he's a perfectly charming guy.

That's why I'm introducing you to him.

So, introduce me. So, introduce me.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

I just ran into an old friend of mine, uh.. I just ran into an old friend of mine, uh..

Marilyn Cohen. Sam Posner.

- Hi. - Hello.

Marilyn and I went to high school together. Marilyn and I went to high school together.

Isn't this salsa the best?

So, Izzy tells me you have your own business. So, Izzy tells me you have your own business.

Yes.

That's a lot of personal freedom, huh?

Marilyn works for the welfare department.

- It's a tense, tense place. - I'll bet. - It's a tense, tense place. - I'll bet.

Well, that's how.. why I started with the tanks. Well, that's how.. why I started with the tanks.

Have you ever been in an isolation tank?

No.

- Where do you live? - Lower east side. - Where do you live? - Lower east side.

Uh, the closest one to you Uh, the closest one to you

is on first avenue.

Serenity, I think it's called.

Good tanks. Very clean. Good tanks. Very clean.

Most important thing I look for.

Forget the lighting, the fancy locker rooms

forget the hair dryers

just give me scrupulous clean.

Oh, with all the disease going around today

how could I relax if I'm imagining how could I relax if I'm imagining

all sorts of sick amoebas swimming into my ears? all sorts of sick amoebas swimming into my ears?

Weren't you sitting at the bar when we came in?

Yes. Yes.

Did you have any dinner?

To tell you the truth

I went way over my calorie limit

on the margaritas. on the margaritas.

Don't you need to make a phone call?

No. No.

What's going on?

Izzy's embarrassed.

She doesn't know how to do this. She doesn't know how to do this.

She thought I might like to meet you She thought I might like to meet you

and she figured this would be a pretty painless setting.

And, indeed, I'm feeling no pain..

...but I am getting kind of sleepy, so.. ...but I am getting kind of sleepy, so..

Here's my phone number.

You look like a nice guy.

You want to call me, call me.

You don't, fine.

I'm a good person. I don't smoke. I'm a good person. I don't smoke.

I don't have any health problems.

Uh, I'm very easy to get along with. Uh, I'm very easy to get along with.

And underneath all that information And underneath all that information

you will also find a deeply romantic woman. you will also find a deeply romantic woman.

It seemed like a good idea 48 hours ago. It seemed like a good idea 48 hours ago.

I'm sorry.

What are you sorry about? She's great.

She's funny, honest, direct. She's funny, honest, direct.

Thanks. Thanks.

(Ricki) 'Look this way, Bart, smile for mama.' (Ricki) 'Look this way, Bart, smile for mama.'

- Smile for mama. - That's it. That's it.

- Beautiful! Beautiful! - Oh! - Beautiful! Beautiful! - Oh!

That's a little Gerber baby.

- 'Beautiful.' - 'That's a little pampers--' - 'Beautiful.' - 'That's a little pampers--'

- Look at the camera. - Give him the rattle.

- Smile. Good boy. - Give him the rattle. - Smile. Good boy. - Give him the rattle.

Right. Yes, yes, yes, yes! That's good.

Oh! That's a little Johnson & Johnson cutie! Oh! That's a little Johnson & Johnson cutie!

- Look over here, cutie! - Oh, great.

I've got to reload. I've got to reload.

Why don't you give him a rest from the lights for a minute?

Good idea. Good idea.

Come on, Bart, let's take a little rest.

You've been a good boy. You've been a good boy.

Yes, you have. Oh, yes, you have.

[baby crying] [baby crying]

- Oh, oh. - Oh. Oh, I know.

You liked those hot lights.

You liked that action. You liked that action.

You want to be a little money-maker, don't you? You want to be a little money-maker, don't you?

Oh, he's cuter than that, isn't he?

Much. Much.

I think we got some good ones today.

Oh, boy. It costs enough. Oh, boy. It costs enough.

And they have to be updated, or the agents won't take them. And they have to be updated, or the agents won't take them.

So, we'll have to do these sessions every couple of months.

You're gonna have to start putting some back

into the pot, little man. into the pot, little man.

- Here. - Oh, thanks. - Here. - Oh, thanks.

You heard from Marilyn lately?

Yeah. She was over last night. Yeah. She was over last night.

She brought me that little, um, snowsuit She brought me that little, um, snowsuit

'little down booties, everything.'

How's she doing?

'She's really excited about that guy you fixed her up with.'

Yeah? What did she say? Yeah? What did she say?

That he was great.

Definitely not one of the walking wounded. Definitely not one of the walking wounded.

- What else? - 'Well, you know the guy.'

'What do I have to tell you?' 'What do I have to tell you?'

She tell you he sells pickles?

So? Somebody's got to. So? Somebody's got to.

[music chiming]

Have they gone out yet?

Look, why don't you just call her and ask her? Look, why don't you just call her and ask her?

Have they?

Yeah. Yeah.

Where did he take her?

'To see a play.'

Really? Dinner first? Really? Dinner first?

I thought you wanted to get rid of this guy. I thought you wanted to get rid of this guy.

I do. I'm just interested. I do. I'm just interested.

- I care. - Look, relax.

You did a nice thing. For both of them. You did a nice thing. For both of them.

[music continues] [music continues]

Don't give me no trouble. Let me have your bag!

You look like you could use a little trouble. You look like you could use a little trouble.

[alarm blaring] [alarm blaring]

Very good. Very good.

You don't waste your batteries.

Pearl? Pearl! The class isn't over yet. Pearl? Pearl! The class isn't over yet.

The class isn't over.

I need this?

Get your hand out of my face!

Take that, you mug. Take that, you mug.

Don't pull that one on me!

I'm supposed to take your bag. I'm supposed to take your bag.

Oh, yeah?

This was what the teacher said. This was what the teacher said.

You take my bag

and I'll knock your teeth down your throat.

Good. Good. You've got your attacker on the defensive. Good. Good. You've got your attacker on the defensive.

You showed him you won't give in easily. You showed him you won't give in easily.

- You're no pushover. - You ain't kidding.

Okay, ladies, uh.. Okay, ladies, uh..

...that's it for today.

Let's leave the classroom in our best-defended walk.

Um, Ida, lead us around the room once, will you? Um, Ida, lead us around the room once, will you?

[upbeat music] [upbeat music]

Good! You're all walking like winners here. Good! You're all walking like winners here.

- No victims. - Yeah!

'Good!'

See you next week, ladies.

- Was it fun? - Fun?

It's a jungle! It's a jungle!

Isabelle, I got something for you.

He's a little older than the pickle man He's a little older than the pickle man

but a man with a heart! Such a heart! but a man with a heart! Such a heart!

I'm telling you. Listen to me, my dear girl!

Take some advice from someone who knows.

Love comes and goes very quickly Love comes and goes very quickly

but a good business, a nice home but a good business, a nice home

a man with a job

who's good and kind. This is what counts. who's good and kind. This is what counts.

Listen, I know what I'm talking about!

I know about life from inside out! I know about life from inside out!

Mmm. Mmm.

Oh, this is where it gets me.

In the shoulders. In the shoulders.

My arthritis don't know from self-defense. My arthritis don't know from self-defense.

Ah, that's good.

- That's good. - Too hard? - That's good. - Too hard?

No, no.

Your hand's like an angel's. Your hand's like an angel's.

It's very good. Ahh!

Oy! This-this-this is a killer. Oy! This-this-this is a killer.

This is where it gets me. In the knees. This is where it gets me. In the knees.

The knees, too.

Oh.

[sighs] Ah! [sighs] Ah!

Mmm. That's good.

Ahh!

Mmm. Mmm.

[sighs]

- Bubbie? - Hmm? - Bubbie? - Hmm?

If you ever see Sam around, tell him I said hello.

Sam? What am I, a messenger? Sam? What am I, a messenger?

I work for Western Union? I work for Western Union?

No, no, I just meant.. Forget it.

What do you want from him? What do you want from him?

I was just curious.

I fixed him up with a friend of mine. I fixed him up with a friend of mine.

Marilyn. You ever meet Marilyn?

The one with the long red hair?

- No. - With the big teeth? - No. - With the big teeth?

- No. - They all look the same to me. - No. - They all look the same to me.

Anyway. I hope it works out for them.

Oh, yeah? Good. Oh, yeah? Good.

[door creaks] [door creaks]

[door shuts]

[keys jingling]

Don't yell at me.

Who's yelling?

[door shuts] [door shuts]

[water running]

Is that something to kill?

'Is that something to kill over there?' 'Is that something to kill over there?'

Throw me your shoe.

Oh! Oh!

(Nick) 'I know just how you feel'

'little guy.'

Nick, I met someone. Nick, I met someone.

It was an arranged meeting with a marriage broker. It was an arranged meeting with a marriage broker.

My grandmother set it up.

- You're joking. - No. - You're joking. - No.

He makes pickles.

You are joking.

No.

[instrumental music] [instrumental music]

[bell rings] [bell rings]

[door closes] [door closes]

[music continues] [music continues]

In the corner!

In the corner! In the corner!

What? What?

In the corner, a little bit dirty. In the corner, a little bit dirty.

'Just a touch.'

[music continues] [music continues]

So? So?

Sam, I'm gonna give you something else

you should chew on. you should chew on.

You want to catch the wild monkey

you got to climb the tree. you got to climb the tree.

- Versteht? - 'Bubbie!'

- Oh. - Hello. - Oh. - Hello.

- What are you doing here? - I was invited.

He came to clean the windows. He came to clean the windows.

By invitation.

He did a nice job. He did a nice job.

You did a nice job.

Well, thanks for lunch.

I did not set that up. You gotta believe me.

- Why? You've done it before. - I know. - Why? You've done it before. - I know.

For someone who doesn't want to see someone

you're seeing an awful lot of me. you're seeing an awful lot of me.

Look, I'm sorry

if I've seemed ambivalent, confused. if I've seemed ambivalent, confused.

I know what ambivalent means.

- Sorry. - 'Stop being sorry!' - Sorry. - 'Stop being sorry!'

Bubbie, close the door.

[door closes]

I heard you and Marilyn had a good time.

Yeah.

There's a little reception Saturday night at the bookstore. There's a little reception Saturday night at the bookstore.

I thought maybe you two would like to--

We're going to a baseball game Saturday. We're going to a baseball game Saturday.

Ah.

Maybe I could be handling this better.

Handling what? What are you handling? Me? Handling what? What are you handling? Me?

I don't blame you for--

You come to my stand, you invite me out to dinner You come to my stand, you invite me out to dinner

you set me up with your girlfriend

you get your bubbie to drag me over here.

Look, I could get a little tired of this routine. Look, I could get a little tired of this routine.

- I did not-- - What's the problem here?

You think it's so small, my world? You think it's so small, my world?

You think it's so provincial?

You think it defines me? Is that it?

No. No, I don't. No. No, I don't.

I feel like I keep apologizing to you I feel like I keep apologizing to you

like I can't get it right. like I can't get it right.

Sam..

...I want to get it right.

(Pauline) '"See, I am watching you hold the egg' (Pauline) '"See, I am watching you hold the egg'

"tap its crown, and pick gently at its shell. "tap its crown, and pick gently at its shell.

"So, this is the way he eats an egg" "So, this is the way he eats an egg"

"I am thinking.

"Not that your hands are delicate "Not that your hands are delicate

"or your training complete.

"Just.. So, this is what he does.. "Just.. So, this is what he does..

"...to an egg. "...to an egg.

"Tap, tap, and pluck

"dunking in with the spoon "dunking in with the spoon

"and emptying out the soft white

and liquid yellow heart." and liquid yellow heart."

(all) Oh!

- Liquid yellow heart. - Oh! - Liquid yellow heart. - Oh!

And that, I think is the youngest poem

I ever wrote.

I resurrect it here on the occasion

of this treachery. of this treachery.

What treachery?

You lure me here for a quiet little evening.

And suddenly I feel as if I am on one of those

sadistic TV shows sadistic TV shows

where they parade skeletons

in front of apoplectic guests.

Well, as soon as word got out Well, as soon as word got out

that you had actually left your house

people came out of the woodwork. I couldn't stop them. people came out of the woodwork. I couldn't stop them.

Oh, well, let me babble on fearlessly. Oh, well, let me babble on fearlessly.

Where did you find all these lovely people?

I thought everyone had moved to Vermont. I thought everyone had moved to Vermont.

I have.

Oh, good for you. Oh, good for you.

I heard a story I heard a story

when I was at the McDowell last summer.

- About me? - About you. - About me? - About you.

Did it involve four men and a cabbage?

- Yes. - Ha-ha-ha! - Yes. - Ha-ha-ha!

Absolutely true.

[laughing] [laughing]

[laughing] Oh, my dear. [laughing] Oh, my dear.

Oh, your hair.

It's going to take over the planet. It's going to take over the planet.

I don't think we've met. I'm Cecilia Monk.

Cecilia? Oh, really? Cecilia? Oh, really?

[doorbell rings]

(Lionel) 'Madeline just asked' (Lionel) 'Madeline just asked'

'why you didn't send the manuscript?'

'What made you get on that plane?' 'What made you get on that plane?'

(Pauline) Oh, well, I was sitting in the orchard'

'thinking about Franklin' 'thinking about Franklin'

'remembering how painless it was with him.'

'He was quite simply the best..' 'He was quite simply the best..'

[thunder rumbling] [thunder rumbling]

Don't tell me I missed everything.

- Your timing is impeccable. - Good. - Your timing is impeccable. - Good.

Oh.

[indistinct chatter]

[laughing]

Get up. Get up.

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

Sit down.

- Ah, Anton, you made it. - Excuse me, Lionel. - Ah, Anton, you made it. - Excuse me, Lionel.

You've met Pauline Swift? You've met Pauline Swift?

No, no. I haven't had the--

Pauline, Anton Maes.

Yes. I know your book. Yes. I know your book.

- Books. - Ah.

- Who is she? This new editor? - Oh, M.. - Who is she? This new editor? - Oh, M..

[doorbell rings]

Ah, Lionel

I thought you were a friend of mine.. I thought you were a friend of mine..

[indistinct]

[doorbell ringing] [doorbell ringing]

The game got rained out.

Hi. Come in. Hi. Come in.

[door closes] [door closes]

Why didn't you bring Marilyn?

Did you want me to?

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

Recognize anyone?

Yeah. Yeah.

This is unquestionably my favorite part of the job. This is unquestionably my favorite part of the job.

- Are you Miss Swift's driver? - No. - Are you Miss Swift's driver? - No.

- I'm sorry. Lionel Colley. - Sam Posner. - I'm sorry. Lionel Colley. - Sam Posner.

- Uh, the poetry? - Pickles.

[laughing] Can I get you a drink? [laughing] Can I get you a drink?

No, no, thank you.

My boss.

This is what he lives for. These little soirees. This is what he lives for. These little soirees.

- You want to sit down? - Where?

(Pauline) It must be very difficult writing in English. (Pauline) It must be very difficult writing in English.

I mean, how can you abandon I mean, how can you abandon

your mother tongue so completely?

It might be a good idea for you to-to look back It might be a good idea for you to-to look back

to write something in Dutch. to write something in Dutch.

I understand your book was written as an exercise.

You know Pauline Swift?

I don't know her, but, yeah, sure.

I had to memorize "The Marble Coffin" I had to memorize "The Marble Coffin"

for Oral Interp.

- Didn't you? - Yes. - Didn't you? - Yes.

Go home. Listen to the language you grew up with. Go home. Listen to the language you grew up with.

Obey your instincts.

I live in New York. Right here. I live in New York. Right here.

This is my home. This is my home.

- 'I'm sorry.' - Are you alright?

It's just a consideration, after all. It's just a consideration, after all.

I wasn't asking to see your green card. I wasn't asking to see your green card.

This is very thrilling, but not too comfortable.

I'll be back in about an hour. I'll be back in about an hour.

I'm going to take a little walk.

[indistinct chatter] [indistinct chatter]

I need to talk...soon.

(Isabella) 'Sam?' (Isabella) 'Sam?'

I think you want to stay. I think you want to stay.

No. No, I don't.

♪ Doo dooby doo dum dum ♪ ♪ Doo dooby doo dum dum ♪

♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo doo ♪

This is it.

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby.. ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby.. ♪

You want to come in?

♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

Do it for my friend. Do it for my friend.

- Is Don gonna pick you up? - In a little while.

You want to wait? You want to wait?

♪ You're my obsession ♪ ♪ You're my obsession ♪

♪ Forever and a day ♪ ♪ Forever and a day ♪

♪ Dooby doo dum dum.. ♪

I haven't been home much lately. I haven't been home much lately.

I just change clothes and run. I just change clothes and run.

Sounds like an exciting life.

Yeah, well..

♪ Hold me so tight ♪ ♪ Hold me so tight ♪

♪ All through all through the night ♪ ♪ All through all through the night ♪

♪ I speak softly darling ♪ ♪ I speak softly darling ♪

♪ Hear what I say ♪ ♪ Hear what I say ♪

♪ I love you.. ♪

- Champagne? - Sure. - Champagne? - Sure.

♪ Always always ♪ ♪ Always always ♪

♪ I've waited waited so long ♪ ♪ I've waited waited so long ♪

♪ For your kisses and your love.. ♪♪ ♪ For your kisses and your love.. ♪♪

[knock on door]

Excuse me.

(Nick) Tina threw me out. (Nick) Tina threw me out.

Nick, this is not a good time.

[indistinct chatter]

Please, Nick. I'll call you tomorrow. Please, Nick. I'll call you tomorrow.

[door closes]

- Everything okay? - Fine. - Everything okay? - Fine.

[knock on door]

It's okay. It's just a friend. It's okay. It's just a friend.

He had a fight with his wife.

[knock on door]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I'm very sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, okay? I'm very sorry.

But she changed the lock. She changed the damned lock!

And where am I gonna go? Huh, Izzy? Where? And where am I gonna go? Huh, Izzy? Where?

I know it's lousy timing. Really, I apologize

but Jesus Christ!

Nick! Nick.

So you make pickles, huh? So you make pickles, huh?

That's right.

Where's your place?

Essex, below Delancey. Essex, below Delancey.

Isn't that the place where that guy used to do

Milton Berle imitations?

Yeah, that was my father.

- With the dress? - Yeah. - With the dress? - Yeah.

Yeah, the cigar, the whole thing.

I loved that place.

'He was a wild man.'

Yeah.

Well, look, I have to get up early in the morning, so.. Well, look, I have to get up early in the morning, so..

If you want, you can stay with us.

It's just me and my brother at home.

Okay.

I just got to make a couple of phone calls I just got to make a couple of phone calls

in the other room, okay?

Well, that was a very nice thing to do. Well, that was a very nice thing to do.

Not really.

- Do you want to see me again? - Yes. - Do you want to see me again? - Yes.

♪ Dooby doo dum dum ♪

♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪ ♪ Dum dum dum doo dum dooby doo ♪

♪ Come softly darling ♪ ♪ Come softly darling ♪

♪ Come to me stay ♪ ♪ Come to me stay ♪

♪ You're my obsession ♪ ♪ You're my obsession ♪

Yes.

♪ And a day ♪ ♪ And a day ♪

♪ I want want you to know ♪ ♪ I want want you to know ♪

♪ I love I love you so ♪ ♪ I love I love you so ♪

♪ Please hold hold me so.. ♪

- Hello. - Hello. - Hello. - Hello.

- What's in the bag? - My lunch. - What's in the bag? - My lunch.

For the next three months. For the next three months.

♪ Hear what I say ♪♪

Listen to me, Sam. Listen to me, Sam.

The well-dressed man

always has the big advantage. always has the big advantage.

Look at history, Sam. Look at history, Sam.

Fred Astaire, Clark Gable

Alistair Cooke. Alistair Cooke.

These are not handsome men.

Clothes make them sexy. Clothes make them sexy.

"Max Schoenbaum's designer discount. "Max Schoenbaum's designer discount.

Why should it cost you?"

- Hmm. - Hmm. - Hmm. - Hmm.

Herbie, may he rest in peace

did he ever sit down to eat with you? did he ever sit down to eat with you?

What else? He was my husband. What else? He was my husband.

All the yentas made blah-blah

when he jumped off the 16th floor. when he jumped off the 16th floor.

"Such a nice, new apartment.

Why should he want to fly away?" Why should he want to fly away?"

He never got a chance to tell me. He never got a chance to tell me.

'Something's bothering me.'

Why are they set to meet by you tonight? Huh? Why are they set to meet by you tonight? Huh?

Isabelle, is so ashamed to show him where she lives Isabelle, is so ashamed to show him where she lives

it's so lousy?

[speaking in foreign language] [speaking in foreign language]

She gives me a little pleasure. Is it such a crime?

So, why did you bring your cello? So, why did you bring your cello?

Oh, you know, quartet practice as usual.

- Night, Izz. - See you Monday. - Night, Izz. - See you Monday.

(Isabella) 'Bye, you guys!'

Lionel, you want me to lock up?

Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo! Ooh, hoo-hoo-hoo!

What does this mean?

Mmm. Mmm.

[clicks tongue]

Hello.

I don't suppose anyone wants to..

- No. Good night. - Good night. - No. Good night. - Good night.

Good night, Lionel.

You should thank me.

What for? What for?

For not calling you in the middle of the night.

I've been on this new work now for a while. I've been on this new work now for a while.

And, uh, I haven't shown it to anyone. And, uh, I haven't shown it to anyone.

And it would be utterly self-destructive

to give it to my editor at this point

but it feels.. but it feels..

I don't know, but, uh..

It might be very, uh, uh...good. It might be very, uh, uh...good.

So there I was at three in the morning with something

wishing very hard for a gentle reader

and...I thought of you.

I don't know what to say.

You're...um, flattered. You're...um, flattered.

I'm flattered. I'm flattered.

You're, um, intrigued.

I'm intrigued. I'm intrigued.

And you'll come over now

and I'll show you this damn thing

so I can find out if there's anything there. so I can find out if there's anything there.

I can't tonight. I can't tonight.

Let him wait.

They love to be kept waiting. They love to be kept waiting.

Izzy, please.

[lock rattles]

(Isabella) I'm expected downtown in 15 minutes.

I really shouldn't be here. I really shouldn't be here.

Come on in.

'I've been seriously thinking' 'I've been seriously thinking'

'about not furnishing it at all.'

There's something very restful about a bare room. There's something very restful about a bare room.

No history, no baggage.

Exactly. Exactly.

"Le Voyageur Sans Bagage."

You know.. You know..

...you're one of the people I count on.

For what? For what?

Grace, generosity..

...stillness. ...stillness.

- Can you see? - Mm-hmm.

[doorbell buzzes] [doorbell buzzes]

- It's a match! - Na!

- Not so fast. - It's a match. - Not so fast. - It's a match.

You know, I got to admit

sometimes I know what I'm doing in this life. sometimes I know what I'm doing in this life.

Wait, I'm coming. Wait, I'm coming.

Was I right, Sam? Was I right, Sam?

Huh? Huh, mmm.

You do have an exquisite stillness, Izzy.

I've always admired that. I've always admired that.

I measure my own jangly motion against it.

You do?

Whenever I see you. Whenever I see you.

Who really comforts us, after all?

Sometimes it seems that people

who are served up gracefully in our lives who are served up gracefully in our lives

consistently, matter-of-factly

almost incidentally.. almost incidentally..

...like a good, simple pudding.. ...like a good, simple pudding..

...mean more than our closest friends. ...mean more than our closest friends.

Who comforts you, Izzy.. Who comforts you, Izzy..

...Isabelle?

May I use the phone?

I got to hand it to you, Henka.

You get them coming and going.

You think I get something for this? You think I get something for this?

Not a penny. Not a dime. Not a penny. Not a dime.

It's part of my job to know fashion. Right, Sam? It's part of my job to know fashion. Right, Sam?

[telephone rings]

Hello?

Bubbie, I'm running a little late.

(Mrs. Kantor) 'Oh, you're such a criminal.' (Mrs. Kantor) 'Oh, you're such a criminal.'

Sammy. Sammy.

I'm a sucker for romance.

This is my fate. This is my fate.

Hello. Isabelle?

Don't give me the bum's rush. Don't give me the bum's rush.

I have to finish up a few things. I have to finish up a few things.

Can you hang in there a little while?

Okay. Okay.

- Bye. - Bye.

Sammy, a little schnapps? Sammy, a little schnapps?

Go to it.. Go to it..

...gentle reader.

Sammy. Sammy.

Thank you.

- L'chaim. - L'chaim.

Straight up means no ice. Straight up means no ice.

Uh-huh.

[laughing]

A little extra flavor.

[laughing] [laughing]

So?

What do you think?

A good two pages. A good two pages.

Yeah? Yeah?

I want to stay with it.

You want more? You want more?

Yes.

Do you?

Yes. Yes.

Do you?

Yes.

[singing in foreign language]

I'd better go. I'd better go.

Please, sit down, Sam.

Listen to this, Sammy. Listen to this, Sammy.

When-when I was a girl..

Oh, such a thing to look at..

A fella named Shiah, a tailor's son, comes to me. A fella named Shiah, a tailor's son, comes to me.

"Ida," he says, "Look at me."

"I'm falling into pieces.

"My life is over if you won't take me. "My life is over if you won't take me.

"I'll walk into the east river "I'll walk into the east river

and this will be my grave."

He was a clean little fellow He was a clean little fellow

with spectacles and a good family

but he didn't mean nothing to me. but he didn't mean nothing to me.

Another boy coming around

to look at the beautiful flower. to look at the beautiful flower.

That's all.

So, he sits himself down in Aunt Bessie's kitchen. So, he sits himself down in Aunt Bessie's kitchen.

And he says, "Ida, I won't move. And he says, "Ida, I won't move.

"I won't crawl an inch until you say yes. "I won't crawl an inch until you say yes.

I'm stuck here like a piece of furniture."

So, what did you do? So, what did you do?

I married him. What else?

I didn't want to bother poor Bessela.

She-she had enough trouble She-she had enough trouble

with her lousy teeth and everything.

And in the end, it was good. And in the end, it was good.

If somebody wanted me so much If somebody wanted me so much

that he was ready to make a fool of himself

it was easy to see that he'd be good to me. it was easy to see that he'd be good to me.

[Isabella gasps]

[laughing]

Oh, did you hurt yourself? Oh, did you hurt yourself?

I really banged my knee.

Oh. Oh. Oh.

That couch is ridiculous.

When you start to work with me

I'll let you go out and buy a proper bed. I'll let you go out and buy a proper bed.

King-size, queen-size the whole royal family. King-size, queen-size the whole royal family.

What did you say?

And whatever else seems essential. And whatever else seems essential.

Some little chairs, some tables, you know? Some little chairs, some tables, you know?

My sense of domestic order

is not quite in balance.

You can be the judge. You can be the judge.

- Work with you? - Mm-hmm.

Well, I want you to know I did get Lionel's blessings. Well, I want you to know I did get Lionel's blessings.

His conditions are part-time, on loan.

I'm Myla's replacement?

He said, and I'm quoting He said, and I'm quoting

"It might be good for her

a little change of scene."

I don't know maybe it's his way of avoiding a raise. I don't know maybe it's his way of avoiding a raise.

- We both know he adores you. - You aren't serious. - We both know he adores you. - You aren't serious.

Well, it's not secretarial. It's much, much more. Well, it's not secretarial. It's much, much more.

It's research, correspondence.

All sorts of good people flying through here. All sorts of good people flying through here.

- How could I've been so stupid? - Izzy!

Izzy! Hey! Izzy! Izzy! Hey! Izzy!

(Anton) 'Izzy!' (Anton) 'Izzy!'

Stupid, stupid, stupid!

Izzy, I felt a kinship! Izzy, I felt a kinship!

You felt an administrative need!

[door slams] [door slams]

Be there, Sam. Please be there. Be there, Sam. Please be there.

Come on and hurry up. Come on and hurry up.

[tires screech]

Let's be honest about this!

If anyone's been manipulated, it's me! If anyone's been manipulated, it's me!

Asshole! Asshole!

[tires screech]

Ugh!

[tires screech] [tires screech]

[instrumental music] [instrumental music]

"Before you leave a parking space "Before you leave a parking space

"which is parallel to the curb

'you should, A.."' 'you should, A.."'

"Look for traffic by using "Look for traffic by using

"your inside rearview mirror.

B, turn on your four-way flasher."

- Four-way flasher? - 'Mm-hmm.'

"C, look for traffic by turning your head." "C, look for traffic by turning your head."

"D, sound your horn." "D, sound your horn."

'"D, sound your horn."' '"D, sound your horn."'

[honking]

Turn here.

Turn here! Turn here!

[tires screech] [tires screech]

♪ Worry worry over the way things are ♪ ♪ Worry worry over the way things are ♪

♪ She tried to tell him about the way they might ♪

♪ Have been happy but now it's gone too far ♪ ♪ Have been happy but now it's gone too far ♪

♪ She'd rather die than live to behave so badly.. ♪

Stop here!

[tires screech] [tires screech]

♪ ...out of her hand she's leaving ♪

I hope I'll be picking you up again sometime. I hope I'll be picking you up again sometime.

I'm getting the hang of this, huh!

"An eight-sided sign with white letters.." "An eight-sided sign with white letters.."

[snoring] [snoring]

[door opens]

[instrumental music] [instrumental music]

[music continues] [music continues]

[sighs]

[music continues]

(Sam) 'Go ahead, say it.' (Sam) 'Go ahead, say it.'

"Shmuck, what are you still doing here?" "Shmuck, what are you still doing here?"

[sighs]

(Sam) 'She was very worried about you.' (Sam) 'She was very worried about you.'

I didn't mean to get her drunk but I had to distract her.

and she kept pouring. and she kept pouring.

How much did she drink?

Well, we finished the bottle of schnapps I brought her. Well, we finished the bottle of schnapps I brought her.

The flowers were for you.

- Thanks. - Mm-hmm. - Thanks. - Mm-hmm.

Okay.

That's some outfit.

I like to make strong fashion statements.

Do you smell something? Do you smell something?

Like what? Like what?

Kind of like vanilla, I think.

It is vanilla. It is vanilla.

I soak them in vanilla and milk

to take away the smell of the pickles.

Something my father taught me.

- Does it bother you? - No. - Does it bother you? - No.

Good.

It's nice.

She was telling me some great stories tonight.

- Yeah? - You ever write them down? - Yeah? - You ever write them down?

These are diamonds she gives you.

You should write them down. You really should. You should write them down. You really should.

I do. I carry a little book for this purpose.

I put down questions, too. I put down questions, too.

When they're clearly in my mind, I write them on a page. When they're clearly in my mind, I write them on a page.

And I leave space for the answers.

Here's one I've been looking at. Here's one I've been looking at.

"How do I talk to Isabelle?" "How do I talk to Isabelle?"

We can't seem to get out of this kitchen, can we? We can't seem to get out of this kitchen, can we?

We can still do something tonight.

My Aunt Mildred sent Mickey and me to dancing school.

Family fiction has it it was my mother's dying wish Family fiction has it it was my mother's dying wish

we be great dancers.

[instrumental music] [instrumental music]

[laughs]

[music continues] [music continues]

[Idella snoring] [Idella snoring]

[laughing] [laughing]

What do you think?

[laughing] You're very good.

[snoring] [snoring]

We could go to Roseland.

I hear that's tres hip. I hear that's tres hip.

I'm really exhausted.

It's been a long week.

Does this happen to you a lot?

This guy is taking tremendous advantage of you. This guy is taking tremendous advantage of you.

What you need to do is make the rules and don't waver.

Say, "I'm out of here by 7:00" and disappear. Say, "I'm out of here by 7:00" and disappear.

- Yeah. - You know, don't be a softie. - Yeah. - You know, don't be a softie.

I wasn't working late. I wasn't working late.

Where were you?

You don't want to know. You don't want to know.

I thought I did.

Sam.

I don't know what to do with you. I don't know what to do with you.

You're a nice guy.

Oh, what a thing to say. Oh, what a thing to say.

I'm wounded. I'm bleeding.

It's true. It's true.

Maybe I just..

Maybe I just can't handle that. Maybe I just can't handle that.

Maybe if I abused you, knocked you around a little

I'd have a better chance, huh? I'd have a better chance, huh?

Maybe if I were married. Maybe if I were married.

That's what I'll do. I'll marry your friend Marilyn.

Then everybody will be happy. Then everybody will be happy.

Maybe if I were a mediocre writer. sitting

around listening to praise from other mediocre writers. around listening to praise from other mediocre writers.

- Alright. - I really bought this.

I thought, "Well, this is I thought, "Well, this is

"this is really going to be great.

This is what I've been waiting for." This is what I've been waiting for."

You don't know how nuts I was about tonight. You don't know how nuts I was about tonight.

I was off the ground. Nobody could talk to me.

I made wrong change all day. I made wrong change all day.

I was so happy I was going to see you tonight

I made a special broche for the occasion. I made a special broche for the occasion.

I said the prayer for the planting of new trees. I said the prayer for the planting of new trees.

Don't ask me why.

[sighs]

How should I talk to Isabelle? How should I talk to Isabelle?

[instrumental music] [instrumental music]

[coughing]

Wh-what time is it?

You-you let me sleep so long on the couch You-you let me sleep so long on the couch

that I don't even know where I am!

Who-who-who is this man? Who-who-who is this man?

What's he doing in my house?

Shh. Don't yell.

You were sleeping so peacefully You were sleeping so peacefully

we didn't want to wake you.

This is Sam. You remember Sam. This is Sam. You remember Sam.

- 'No!' - 'He's my friend of mine.'

Mrs. Mandelbaum introduced us. You remember. Mrs. Mandelbaum introduced us. You remember.

- No! - Okay, okay.

Go-go-go get the bed ready. Go-go-go get the bed ready.

Okay. Okay. Relax.

Maybe the drink?

[laughing] [laughing]

Come.

You are some big-time operator, Sammy. You are some big-time operator, Sammy.

You'll dance with me at the wedding. You'll dance with me at the wedding.

I'll make some nice cakes, and you'll buy the schnapps. I'll make some nice cakes, and you'll buy the schnapps.

And we'll have such a good time.

We'll see, bubbie. We'll see.

Like a piece of furniture, do you hear me? Like a piece of furniture, do you hear me?

Like a piece of..

Ready, bubbie? Ready, bubbie?

[speaks in foreign language] Not so fast.

- Not.. I-I got to go slow. - Okay. - Not.. I-I got to go slow. - Okay.

Oy, the pain, oy, the pain

only my enemies should know. only my enemies should know.

- Where, bubbie? - In my legs.

The knees, and.. The knees, and..

Do you know this fellow? Who is this man? Do you know this fellow? Who is this man?

This is Sam, bubbie.

He's keeping company with you? He's keeping company with you?

- Could be. - Oh, yeah? - Could be. - Oh, yeah?

He looks okay. You like him? He looks okay. You like him?

Yes, bubbie. Yes, bubbie.

He's a Jew? He's a Jew?

I think so.

You'll bring him with you next time you come? You'll bring him with you next time you come?

I'll bring him with me next time I come. I'll bring him with me next time I come.

He'll buy me cherry herring.

I love cherry herring.

It would be my pleasure, Mrs. Kantor. It would be my pleasure, Mrs. Kantor.

Take my arm, Sam. It's okay! You can touch me. Take my arm, Sam. It's okay! You can touch me.

120 pounds of pure gold, that's me. 120 pounds of pure gold, that's me.

Come, children, come. Come, children, come.

Let's put the bubbie to bed.

[instrumental music]

♪ When I'm walkin' around the road ♪

♪ It occurs to me ♪ ♪ It occurs to me ♪

♪ I never thought I could be lucky ♪ ♪ I never thought I could be lucky ♪

♪ Lucky ♪ ♪ Lucky ♪

♪ I'm not a person to whom these words come easily ♪ ♪ I'm not a person to whom these words come easily ♪ ♪ I'm not a person to whom these words come easily ♪

♪ I never thought I could be lucky ♪ ♪ I never thought I could be lucky ♪

♪ Lucky ♪

♪ Lucky ♪ ♪ Lucky ♪

♪ And I see you comin' toward me ♪ ♪ And I see you comin' toward me ♪

♪ In the crowd ♪ ♪ In the crowd ♪

♪ Lookin' the way that you do ♪ ♪ Lookin' the way that you do ♪

♪ My heart is aching ♪ ♪ My heart is aching ♪

♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪ ♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪ ♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪

♪ Love you ♪ ♪ Love you ♪

♪ Love you ♪ ♪ Love you ♪

♪ Pretty pictures in the magazine ad ♪ ♪ Pretty pictures in the magazine ad ♪

♪ Love looks like it's easily had ♪ ♪ Love looks like it's easily had ♪

♪ Lucky ♪ ♪ Lucky ♪

♪ It's just a vision you have ♪ ♪ It's just a vision you have ♪

♪ And can't be near ♪ ♪ And can't be near ♪

♪ What you really want to see clear ♪ ♪ What you really want to see clear ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ Love you ♪ ♪ Love you ♪

♪ And I see you comin' toward me ♪ ♪ And I see you comin' toward me ♪

♪ In the crowd ♪ ♪ In the crowd ♪

♪ Lookin' the way that you do ♪ ♪ Lookin' the way that you do ♪

♪ My heart is breaking ♪ ♪ My heart is breaking ♪

♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪ ♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪ ♪ 'Cause I really love you ♪

♪ Happy ♪ ♪ Happy ♪

♪ Love you ♪ ♪ Love you ♪ ♪ Love you ♪

♪ Here's a thin thread of hope I'm hangin' from ♪ ♪ Here's a thin thread of hope I'm hangin' from ♪

♪ Hope you're going to be the one ♪ ♪ Hope you're going to be the one ♪

♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪ ♪ Ooh ooh ooh ♪

♪ It's a strong love that won't come undone ♪ ♪ It's a strong love that won't come undone ♪ ♪ It's a strong love that won't come undone ♪

♪ Hope you're going to be the one ♪ ♪ Hope you're going to be the one ♪

♪ Love you ♪

♪ Happy ♪ ♪ Happy ♪

♪ Love you ♪ ♪ Love you ♪

♪ Lucky ♪♪