All language subtitles for Chico.and.the.Man.S03E14.Champs.Aint.Chumps.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BTN_track3_[eng]

♪ One two uh
one two three and... ♪

[theme song]

♪ Chico ♪

♪ Don't be discouraged ♪

♪ The Man he ain't so hard
to understand ♪

♪ Chico if you try now ♪

♪ I know that you can lend
a helping hand ♪

♪ Because there is good
in everyone ♪

♪ And a new day has begun ♪

♪ You can see the morning sun
if you try ♪

♪ I know
things will be better ♪

♪ Oh yes they will
for Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Yes they will
for Chico and the Man ♪♪

♪♪

Come on, Ed.
Will you please make a move?

If I could make a move

I wouldn't be sitting
here playing chess.

All right.

[sighs]

How long is it gonna take?

My leg went to sleep five minutes ago.

Yeah, well, your brain went to
sleep five years ago, huh?

Shut up and let me concentrate.

[sighs]

[mumbling]

Ah.

[sighs]

You turtle.

I should've gone to the
legion hall with Chico

to watch the amateur fights.

[yawns]

[snoring]

Okay, Louie. Wake up.
It's your move.

[laughing]

[indistinct chatter]

Can't you see we're playing chess?

What's the matter with you?

Guess what Chico did?

- Tell him, Chico.
- No, you tell him.

Oh, they won't believe
me, 'cause I lie a lot.

- Will somebody please tell me?
- Okay!

I went to see the fights, right?

So, I go into dressing room

to see my friend Miguel from
Ensenada to wish him luck.

All of a sudden, he grabs
his stomach and says

"Chico, I got sick from
eating American food."

I say, "You fool, I don't
even drink their water."

[laughing]

Sí, but instead of laughing

Miguel passes out on the floor.

So, the doctor rushes in

and he says, "This kid's unconscious

and in his condition, I don't
think he ought to fight."

Ah, there is a quick thinking doctor.

So, then I said to Chico,
"Go defend our people."

And the next thing I know

they're tearing off my clothes

and I'm standing in the
middle of a ring.

You got into a boxing ring?

You've never even been
in the golden gloves!

I wouldn't get in with golden
gloves and brass knuckles.

What can I do?
I mean, my friend passed out

the crowd is yelling,

and I asked myself

"What would Robert Redford do
in a situation like this?"

He'd give the part to Paul Newman.

Hey, hey, Chico.
Who did you fight?

Whiplash Valusky, the
Ukrainian Rhinoceros.

Híjole, this guy is so big,
they had to let out the ropes.

Yeah, Valusky, man!

He ain't human.

He's got all hair growing
out of his finger nails.

Man, when he came at me

he looked like an enraged building.

Right, like The Rhino's coming at me.

He is throwing lefts and rights

and I'm dancing and I'm prancing.

I'm dancing and I'm prancing

and the crowd is yelling for blood.

Get to the part where
you busted his beak.

What?

You broke another man's nose?

Where I come from, that's how
we used to say good morning.

You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

You should hear how he say goodnight.

[Ed] Oh, shut up!

Come on, Chico.
Get to the good part.

All right, so I'm dancing and prancing

and The Rhino's coming at me and
it's all coming back to me

from my street days and I
just, poom, poom, poom.

The Rhino was now reeling like a wino.

Pow! Sucker goes down

and Referee Goldberg starts counting.

Uno, dos, tres...

Wait a minute, wait a minute.
Referee Goldberg?

- Pancho Goldberg.
- Oh, Pancho!

Cinco, seis--

Hey, now, wait a minute, everybody.

The knockout is Chico Rodriguez.

Wait a minute, who is this?

What do you want here, loud mouth?

Hmm? Buck is my name and
boxing is my game.

Milton Lockman.
I manage fighters.

Hey, kid. You got the makings.

You got speed, power and lots of moxie.

Ever think of turning pro?

He is a pro. He is the fastest
grease gun in the West.

Huh?

Ed, please.
I can talk for myself.

Oh, you can talk for yourself,
well, tell this man, no.

Come on, Milty.
Outside.

Here's my card, son.
Think it over. Give me a call.
Take a chance.

He takes chances every day.
He lives in this neighborhood.

Not everyone can make it.

But I think you can.

And if you do, I promise,
I'll make you rich.

Thank you, give me a call.

Hey, you know, Chico?
He can make you rich.

That's what they told Rockefeller.

Rockefeller is rich.

Yeah, but he didn't have to
beat up anyone to get it.

Give me that card.

Hey, Ed. The man's number is on there.

You really gonna call him, Chico?

I didn't say that.

In that case, you won't need the card.

¡Eh!
¡Viejo sangrón!

Siempre te estás metiendo en
todo lo que no te importa.

Did you hear that?
He said...

What did he say?

He said what he thought
of you in Spanish.

He did, huh?

Well, I like to see you
speak to me in English.

You don't want me to fight, do you?

No, I don't.

Well, if I tell you, it'll start one.

Give me that!

[clattering]

Hey, hey, hey, hold it,
hold it, hold it.

This used to be a garage, I
believe. Is that correct?

Oh, I'm just keeping in shape.

In shape, for what?

You're a mechanic.
Not a bouncer.

Ed, I'm taking Nancy
up to Lake Arrowhead.

So, I figured, I should get in shape.

Yeah, how many rounds you
gonna go with Nancy?

No, you see, she likes to water ski

but I can't afford a boat, so
I'll have to swim real fast.

I see.

Wait a minute, wait a minute,
hold it, hold it, hold it.

Why don't you admit you are
training to become a fighter?

Well, what if I am?
What's wrong with being rich and famous?

I'll tell you what's wrong
with being rich and famous.

Henry Ford is rich and famous.

But you think he's as happy as I am?

- Ed, admit it--
- Okay, okay, okay!

So he's happier than I am.

But he's happy because he doesn't
have to worry about your ears

turning into cauliflower.

Where do you think you're going?
I'm not through yet.

Neither am I. I gotta
do some shadow boxing.

Well, watch out.
Your shadow outweighs you.

[sighs] I can't get through to him.

Please, give me some help!

Hi, Ed.

This is your idea of help?

Come here, Louie.

I need a favor.

Looks more like you need a shave.

Oh, never mind that.

You know, Chico is very serious
about becoming a fighter, see.

I want you to try and talk him out of it

but for heaven's sake,
don't let him know

the idea came from me, okay?

- Look, Ed, you can trust me.
- Yeah.

- Because I'm an expert faker.
- You're telling me!

Would you believe, lot of
people think I'm black?

Now listen.

I want you to do whatever you have to do

say whatever you have to say
to try to convince him.

In the mean time, I've to
go out and call Nancy.

Okay.

Hey, Louie. What's going down?

Well, it ain't my rent.

What happened to your shadow?

I left him on the floor.

Hey, hey, Chico.

What's this I hear about
you turning pro?

Well, Mr. Lockman keeps coming
by and he likes what he sees.

Yeah, but you're just punching bags.

Now if one of them big dudes
bust you in the mouth

your lips gonna end up on
the back of your neck.

Louie, how does Ed do it?

I see your lips moving, but
all I hear is his voice.

[sighs]

Look, Chico. Wait a minute.

You talking to a dude that's been around

and knows a few things.

Okay, let's say you turn
pro and become the champ.

Now, that's where all
your troubles start.

What trouble?
I'll be rich.

Exactly.

Well, if that's trouble, order
me a double, will you?

Look, you don't seem to get the message.

Come on over here, let
me tell you something.

Let me try to set you straight.

All right, sit down here, boy.

- All right, now you're the champ.
- Yeah.

Now what's the first thing they do?

They hand me a million dollars.

Right.

Now you got to go out and buy yourself

one of 'em great, big, old fancy cars.

Mm-hmm.
And then the next thing you know

she's gonna be sitting
there right next to you.

Who? Who?

Ooh, that beautiful model you
saw on the magazine cover.

You said, "Hey, Louie.
This is for me."

So, you snap your fingers,
and there she is.

[snaps]

- Where is she?
- There.

She is wearing one of 'em itty
bitty bikinis, that big.

Looking good!

Come on, you young clown.

You're gonna make Fifi jealous.

Now, who is Fifi?

Look, once you become famous,
you gonna have Fifi in Paris

Gina in Rome, Glenys in London.

Not to mention those
two little tortillas

that are twins in San Juan.

Yeah, and guys gonna
be hanging around you

so they can be near them chicks.

Well, I ain't gonna have
any guys like that.

But look, if you need one...

...I'm available.

You dummy!

Whose side are you on?

Aha! I knew you put Louie up to this.

Are you kidding?

Would I entrust a delicate mission

to an oaf like this?

The man who doesn't even know
which end of the garbage can

to put the lid on?

Hey, what's going on, Louie?
Hi, Ed.

Hey, Salvador.

Hey, Chico.
I got something to tell you.

It's, uh, uh...

What was it that you
want me to tell him?

Who is this man?
I never saw him before in my life.

Aha!

All right, guys.
Come back here.
Come over here.

Come on, come on.

Now listen, fellas, I know
what you're trying to do

and I appreciate it.

But boxing is a legitimate
way to make it big

and I'm not gonna blow my shot.

So, I'm gonna call Mr. Lockman
and tell him to count me in.

Yeah, the first thing you know,
they'll be counting you out.

You really have made up your mind?

- Yes, I have.
- Okay.

Then I guess, it's time
I made up my mind.

Aw, Ed. Don't stand in the boy's way!

Opportunity only knocks once, you know?

I know! But the guys he'll be
fighting keep on knocking.

First there was the great black hope,
then there was the great white hope.

Now make way for the great big dope!

Oh, shut up Sal.

That's enough, champ.
That's enough. Uh...

- Practice some jabbing now.
- Okay, put 'em up.

Not me! I'm the rope man.

Salvador is the jab man.

All right, Salvador.
Put 'em up.

How come I'm always the jab man?

Come on, put 'em up.
Put 'em up.

- [exhaling]
- Aye, aye, aye.

- Ow! Ow!
- Harder, harder!

Harder!

How come you always say
"harder" when he is jabbing?

I never say harder when
he is skipping rope.

Hey, hey, what's going on?

I can't have a little quiet?

How do you expect me to sleep
with all that noise going on?

What do you mean, sleep, Ed?

At this hour? You never
go to bed this early.

It's only 7 o'clock.

Louie, why is Punchy talking to
me when I'm not talking to him?

Louie, would you please tell
Ed it's only 7 o'clock?

Ed, it's only 7 o'clock.

And I don't talk to traitors either.

Salvador, you tell Ed
it's only 7 o'clock.

Ed, it's only...

I don't got no watch.

Ed, don't worry, when I become the champ

I'll be so rich, I'll buy
you a mansion in Bel-Air,

so big that if you want noise
you have to send out for it.

Salvador, you tell him the
only people who make money

- out of boxing are the doctors who do nose transplants.
- Chico--

[imitating Muhammad Ali] Is he kidding?
I'll be the richest of all time

because I'm the greatest of all time.

Not only am I the greatest,
I'm the fastest.

I'm the prettiest and everybody
loves me, especially me.

For it is written, I'm
a boy from the barrio

I'm stepping into the ring.

All of those sucker opponents will fall

and the money to me they'll
bring, let's dance.

Come on!

Hey.

- Whoo!
- All right, all right.

Why is somebody like
this punching the bag

he's liable to break his hands.

Then he won't be able to
play the violin anymore.

I can't play the violin now.

You see, it's starting already.

Chico, Chico, I gotta talk to you, baby.

I got your first fight all set.

Saturday night at the Olympic Arena.

You go against Billy Johnson.

Billy Johnson, that Billy with
a "Y" or Billy with an "I-E?"

[laughs] With a "Y."

Too bad, I was hoping it was a girl.

Hey, Mr. Lockman.

Is that the fighter who
KO'd nine in a row?

Six fighters and three referees?

That was four years ago.
The guy is over the hill.

- Chico, you can take him.
- Well, if you say so, you're the manager.

Just remember that, pal.
Keep in there and keep punching, buddy.

Remember, fellas, put
your money on Chico

because this man is the chiller
and he can't lose, okay?

Bet your money on him, huh?
Hasta la vista.

Hey, you get out of here and
you stay out of here, you.

Ed, Ed, the fight will
only last three rounds.

Yeah, the first round,
when you get knocked out

and two more rounds to revive you.

- Salvador, hold the bag.
- Okay.

Here we go.

[grunting]

[Chico grunting]

[groans]

Oh, that dumb Johnson doesn't know

how hard he is getting hit.

[telephone ringing]

Hello!

Uh...

Oh, hello, Nancy!

Yes, he's here.

It's for somebody I used
to have respect for.

Well, that could be anybody.

Hello!

Hello.

Hi, Nancy. No. That was Louie.

Oh, he got the reservations
confirmed for Arrowhead?

This Saturday?
Oh, well, that's no good.

Uh, see, I'm fighting
this Saturday night

couldn't we make it a
week from Saturday?

She won't recognize you
a week from Saturday.

Oh, now, you see, this Saturday,
I'm fighting Billy Johnson.

Yeah, you've seen him fight?

He knocked his opponent into your lap?

Oh, well, w-what row
were you sitting in?

Fourth?

Hey, that Johnson didn't knock
nobody into the fourth row.

It was the third row, he
bounced into the fourth row.

Well, honey, I can't cancel the fight.

You cancel the reservations.

What do you mean you're going anyway?

Tell you what, make it
two weeks from Saturday

by then, I'll be on my way up.

Give me that.
Hello, Nancy.

You still want to got to Arrowhead

I can fix you up with Billy Johnson.

Give me that!

Hello, uh...

[line disconnects]

Defend yourself.

Anytime you're ready, champ.

Yeah, anytime you're ready, champ.

Look, Salvador. We're
heading for the big time.

And it don't look good you keep
repeating everything I say.

So, you gonna have to get
some words of your own.

Yeah, you are right, Louie.

It don't look good me repeating
everything you say.

I gotta get some words on my own.

Well, I see stupid seconds have arrived.

Mopey and Dopey.

Oh, look, Ed, Why don't you be honest.

You know the kid's got a point.

Breaking out of the barrio ain't easy.

Yeah, breaking out of the
barrio ain't easy be...

Well, I can't kick it cold turkey.

Well, life isn't easy for anybody.

If the Lord wanted life to be easy

He wouldn't have invented
this neighborhood.

If He really wanted to make it easy

He never would've invented you.

- Oh, thanks a lot.
- Hey, look.

Why don't you come on and go
with us down to the arena?

Yeah, we're gonna go in style.

Mr. Lockman's sending
somebody to pick up Chico.

All ready? He hasn't
been knocked down yet.

Oh, don't be a downer!

Yeah, be cool, Ed.

We don't wanna make the champ nervous.

Right.

Oh, Ed, are you at it again?

Come on, be reasonable, will you?

"Be reasonable," he says.

Oh, what do you want me to say?

Well, you think you would say, "Ed...

working with you has a
thrill and a pleasure.

You're a wonderful guy and an all
around marvelous human being.

So to show my appreciation,
I'm gonna change my mind

and not go out and make
a jerk of myself."

Ed, you're loco.

I'm loco, huh?

This is what he says to me

after he telling me what
a marvelous guy I am?

Look, Ed...

The boy is getting ready to
have his first pro fight.

Now, at least you could say
three nice little words like

"Good luck, Chico."

Yeah, I got three better words.

Take a dive.

You would ask him to do that
in front of everybody?

Including people?

Hey, y'all.

Uh, I'm supposed to pick
up someone named...

"Your shoes will be ready on Tuesday."

"Chile Chico."

Which one of you guys is the Chile?

Ed, isn't this going a little too far?

I got a cab outside.

I used to drive my own car, but
they won't let me drive anymore

since I fought, what's his name, uh...

[chuckling]

Ed, would you tell this clown you hired

I see right through his act
and right through you?

What was the name of that poluka
that I fought that time?

Kid Mulligan.

Yeah, Kid Mulligan.

He put me away in the twelfth.

And after that, they
wouldn't let me drive.

They said there was something
wrong with my head, uh...

Um, hey, I got a cab outside.

Hey, you're Packy O'Brien, ain't you?

Yeah, Packy.

I used to be Packy O'Brien.
Yeah.

Y-you really are Packy O'Brien.

I told you that a minute ago.
What are you, stupid?

I've seen you fight a few years
ago, you were a contender.

A contender?

Yeah, I was a contender.

I fought the champ.
He put me away in the twelfth.

Remember his name, uh...

- Kid Mulligan.
- Yeah, Kid Mulligan.

You see the fight?
It was a great fight.

He got lucky.

And he dropped me in the
first round, but I got up.

He threw everything at me,
but I wouldn't stay down.

Me and my manager, we
wanted to fight him again

but after I got out of the
hospital, they said, uh...

Hey, uh, I got a cab outside.

- Let's go, Packy.
- Yeah.

Uh, uh, Chico...

Hold it, uh...

I, uh, got a little something for you.

It's a good luck charm.

My wife Margaret gave
it to me about, uh...

...well, over 30 years ago.

It's always protected me and I
hope it'll do the same for you.

So, watch yourself at all
times and keep your left up.

Thanks, Ed.

Hey, yeah, uh, uh...

- I got a--
- Cab outside?

No, a taxi, ha-ha, ha.

Come on, Packy.

No, you're Packy. I'm Chico.

Oh, yeah. I'm Packy.

You're Chico.
Yeah, come on.

Well, Margaret, was I wrong?

Maybe I should've taught him
something about fighting

instead of arguing with him.

You know like, uh...

...when the referee says shake hands

and the other guy sticks his hand out

you kick him right in the la panza.

If that doesn't work,
then you fight dirty.

Hello, champ.

Huh?

You win, I lose.

Was it a knock out or a decision?

I was climbing into the cab,
Packy stared at me and said

"Hey, where are we going?"

Right then, I got a flash of myself

a couple of fights from now and
I couldn't go through with it.

You look better in one piece.

Yeah, well, I just...

...had to face facts.
I'm not a fighter, I'm a lover.

And I could see myself in the hospital.

Nancy'd say, "Chico, why
aren't you smiling?"

I go, "'Cause somebody stole my teeth."

Give me that.
You won't need it anymore.

Thank you, Margaret.
It worked.

In my book, you'll always be a champ.

You need a boxing ring like a
tom cat needs a wedding ring.

Let me see those hands.

Boy, you still got it.

Yes, sir. You got speed,
power and moxie.

You're going right to the top.

I can see you tearing the
transmission out of a Rolls.

Doing a great valve job on the Jag.

Yeah, putting the little dog
with the head going up and down

in the back of a Chevy.

Now you're talking.

I'm gonna make you the "Heavy
Weight Mechanic of the Year."

Yeah, but I still gotta face Nancy.

How do I convince her I'm still a man?

Oh, I think a weekend in
Arrowhead oughta convince her.

- Yeah?
- Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

Yes, indeed.

[imitating Ali] And now, in this corner,
wearing the light blue pajamas,

the heavyweight lover of the world.

You got it.

Guess who's home?

- Oh, hi. How was Arrowhead?
- Terrific.

What are you doing?

I'm getting in shape.

For what?

Ah, you're not the only one
who could take a vacation

and go to Arrowhead, you know?

Oh!

Oh, ho, ho.
Good for you.

Who is the lucky girl?

Ah!

Angie Dickinson.

You're going away with Angie Dickinson?

Well, no. That's why
she's the lucky girl.

I'm going away with Louie.

Why are you taking Louie
up to Arrowhead?

We're gonna play chess.

Why would you go all the way
up to Arrowhead with Louie

to play chess?

Because Angie turned me down.

[theme song]

[narrator] "Chico and the
Man" was recorded live

before a studio audience at NBC
Studios, Burbank, California.

♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪

♪ Spent much of his time
in the street ♪

♪ His mind was craving
for knowledge ♪

♪ His belly for
something to eat ♪

♪ But times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪

♪ Times are hard ♪

♪ For Chico and the Man ♪♪