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[theme song]
2
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♪ Chico ♪
3
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♪ Don't be discouraged ♪
4
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:28,320
♪ The Man he ain't so hard ♪
5
00:00:28,404 --> 00:00:30,448
♪ To understand ♪
6
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♪ Chico ♪
7
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♪ If you try now ♪
8
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♪ I know that you can
lend a helping hand ♪
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♪ Because there's
good in every one ♪
10
00:00:44,795 --> 00:00:47,548
♪ And a new day has begun ♪
11
00:00:47,631 --> 00:00:50,217
♪ You can see the morning sun ♪
12
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♪ If you try ♪
13
00:00:53,304 --> 00:00:55,264
♪ And I know ♪
14
00:00:55,306 --> 00:00:58,350
♪ Things will be better ♪
15
00:00:58,434 --> 00:00:59,810
♪ Oh yes they will ♪
16
00:00:59,852 --> 00:01:03,981
♪ For Chico and The Man ♪
17
00:01:04,023 --> 00:01:08,027
♪ Yes they will
for Chico and The Man ♪♪
18
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♪♪
19
00:01:22,124 --> 00:01:23,584
Hey, Ed.
20
00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,669
Say, man, this is the
last time we buy tires
21
00:01:25,711 --> 00:01:27,171
from Sanford and Son.
22
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,393
Hello?
23
00:01:41,477 --> 00:01:42,853
Is anyone here?
24
00:01:42,937 --> 00:01:44,938
- Yes, can I help you?
- Oh, hi.
25
00:01:45,022 --> 00:01:47,691
Do you know where 1614
Sequoya Boulevard is?
26
00:01:48,484 --> 00:01:50,027
Nancy?
27
00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:51,403
Do I know you?
28
00:01:51,487 --> 00:01:54,615
Nancy Juarez, don't you
remember Xavier Cugat High?
29
00:01:54,698 --> 00:01:56,700
Well, that's what we called it, too.
30
00:01:56,742 --> 00:01:59,411
I was a year behind you but
we had geometry together.
31
00:01:59,495 --> 00:02:00,746
We did?
32
00:02:00,830 --> 00:02:02,706
Don't you remember
Mrs. Schaffer's class?
33
00:02:02,790 --> 00:02:05,000
You had the third or fourth
seat from the window.
34
00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,669
And you moved every day
'cause that black dude
35
00:02:06,710 --> 00:02:08,212
"All the Way, Calloway..."
36
00:02:08,294 --> 00:02:10,881
Remember, he kept sneaking
to your Beatles lunch box?
37
00:02:10,923 --> 00:02:13,843
And siphon the jelly out of my donuts.
38
00:02:13,883 --> 00:02:15,886
Yeah with his bean shooter.
39
00:02:15,928 --> 00:02:18,889
Of course, how you been, Jose?
40
00:02:18,931 --> 00:02:22,393
Wrong. Jose had the pimples.
I'm Chico Rodriguez.
41
00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:23,686
Chico!
42
00:02:23,727 --> 00:02:25,645
Of course, Chico!
43
00:02:25,729 --> 00:02:27,398
You were part of that motor cycle gang.
44
00:02:27,481 --> 00:02:29,984
"The Burrito Bloomers."
45
00:02:30,067 --> 00:02:32,653
The Burrito Bloomers was
a girl's softball team.
46
00:02:33,696 --> 00:02:36,240
- I was in the Barrio Boomers.
- Oh, yeah!
47
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- Vroom, vroom!
- Yeah.
48
00:02:37,700 --> 00:02:39,076
Well, actually we only
had one motor cycle.
49
00:02:39,118 --> 00:02:41,704
We took turns being tough.
Come on in.
50
00:02:41,745 --> 00:02:43,913
Sit down. Let's shoot.
Let's talk a while.
51
00:02:43,998 --> 00:02:45,332
- How you been?
- Well--
52
00:02:45,416 --> 00:02:46,667
How do you like geometry?
53
00:02:46,750 --> 00:02:48,877
It was not one of my better subjects.
54
00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,422
Yeah, but you passed cheerleading
with flying colors.
55
00:02:51,505 --> 00:02:53,382
And I used to love to
watch your colors fly.
56
00:02:53,424 --> 00:02:55,050
[laughs]
57
00:02:55,092 --> 00:02:56,260
Thank you.
58
00:02:56,343 --> 00:02:58,804
God, that was a long time ago.
59
00:02:58,888 --> 00:03:01,764
I hung up the old pom-poms
when I left California.
60
00:03:01,849 --> 00:03:03,434
Well, you're back for good now?
61
00:03:03,475 --> 00:03:05,853
Or did you just drop in to
catch the next earthquake?
62
00:03:07,104 --> 00:03:08,272
No, I'm back for good.
63
00:03:08,355 --> 00:03:10,149
Right now, I'm trying to
find my cousin Dolores.
64
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:12,693
She has a law office
around here someplace.
65
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:14,904
This is right down the street.
Dolo--
66
00:03:14,945 --> 00:03:17,740
I remember Dolores.
She was the tostada of the town.
67
00:03:17,781 --> 00:03:19,782
She was voted "The girl
most likely to..."
68
00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:24,747
- To what?
- Anything.
69
00:03:24,788 --> 00:03:26,582
Come on, I'll show you where she works.
70
00:03:26,624 --> 00:03:28,959
Excuse me a minute.
I'll be back in a minute.
71
00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:31,462
Talking to my boss.
72
00:03:31,502 --> 00:03:35,007
Oh, I don't remember you being a
particularly religious person.
73
00:03:35,090 --> 00:03:38,260
No.
Ed Brown, he owns the garage.
74
00:03:39,470 --> 00:03:42,181
See, he's upstairs watching
"The Mike Douglas Show."
75
00:03:42,264 --> 00:03:44,141
Roy Rogers and Trigger are the co-hosts.
76
00:03:44,224 --> 00:03:45,517
Oh-ho.
77
00:03:45,601 --> 00:03:47,144
I thought Trigger was dead.
78
00:03:47,227 --> 00:03:49,063
Yeah, well don't tell Mike Douglas.
79
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,691
Speaking of animals, whatever
have happened to that
80
00:03:52,775 --> 00:03:54,693
big dumb football jockey
you used to go out with?
81
00:03:54,777 --> 00:03:57,321
Oh, you mean that goofy muscle bound guy
82
00:03:57,404 --> 00:03:59,823
with a street blonde hair that
kept bumping into things?
83
00:03:59,865 --> 00:04:02,534
- Yeah, the son of King-Kong.
- Oh.
84
00:04:02,618 --> 00:04:04,286
- Morgan Mackintosh.
- Right.
85
00:04:04,328 --> 00:04:05,788
I married him.
86
00:04:07,331 --> 00:04:08,248
Great guy.
87
00:04:08,332 --> 00:04:09,333
[chuckles]
88
00:04:09,375 --> 00:04:11,210
Chico. Hey, Chico.
89
00:04:14,672 --> 00:04:17,257
Hey! Hold it, hold it, hold it.
90
00:04:17,341 --> 00:04:19,551
Ed, I gotta show Nancy
where her cousin works.
91
00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,095
But Roy and Dale are on.
92
00:04:21,178 --> 00:04:23,764
They're gonna sing "Happy
Trails" to Trigger.
93
00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:26,350
Who's Nancy?
94
00:04:27,351 --> 00:04:29,019
Where-where is her cousin?
95
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,234
[thuds]
96
00:04:35,985 --> 00:04:36,902
Mice?
97
00:04:39,196 --> 00:04:40,406
Hey, you!
98
00:04:40,488 --> 00:04:42,574
What were you doing in there?
That's my rest room.
99
00:04:42,658 --> 00:04:44,284
I know, thanks.
100
00:04:44,368 --> 00:04:45,744
What do you mean thanks?
101
00:04:45,827 --> 00:04:47,621
I don't want you in there.
That's only for customers.
102
00:04:47,705 --> 00:04:49,623
What'd you do with my mom?
103
00:04:49,707 --> 00:04:51,041
Now, listen little boy.
104
00:04:51,083 --> 00:04:53,711
- I'm not a boy.
- You're not?
105
00:04:54,378 --> 00:04:55,879
Oh, you're a girl?
106
00:04:55,963 --> 00:04:58,716
Does you mother know you go
around dressed as a boy?
107
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,885
Sure. Where is my mommy's car?
108
00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:03,595
Are you talking about that dizzie dame
109
00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:06,807
that just ran off with
my resident Romeo?
110
00:05:06,890 --> 00:05:10,060
I'm sorry. You mean that
nice lady was your mommy?
111
00:05:10,144 --> 00:05:13,564
She was just here.
Where'd she go?
112
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,482
Well, I wouldn't worry about her.
113
00:05:15,565 --> 00:05:17,735
Everything gonna work out.
Please don't cry.
114
00:05:17,776 --> 00:05:20,904
- She'll be back.
- Okay. Let's play.
115
00:05:20,946 --> 00:05:23,073
Play? I don't wanna play. Here.
116
00:05:23,949 --> 00:05:25,743
You wanna make a tent?
117
00:05:25,784 --> 00:05:27,661
No, I don't wanna make a tent.
118
00:05:27,745 --> 00:05:29,079
Why?
119
00:05:29,121 --> 00:05:31,206
Because I was in the
army for five years.
120
00:05:31,248 --> 00:05:33,083
I saw enough tents to
last me a lifetime.
121
00:05:33,125 --> 00:05:34,960
Do you wanna play Slapjack?
122
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,629
I don't wanna play anything.
I got work to do.
123
00:05:37,713 --> 00:05:39,589
You sure have.
124
00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,133
We'll help you clean up, mister.
125
00:05:41,216 --> 00:05:43,552
Won't we, Teddy?
Teddy says he'll help too.
126
00:05:43,594 --> 00:05:46,013
I don't care what Tedsie says.
I don't wanna play with him.
127
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:48,307
Now, you take him back
there and leave me alone.
128
00:05:53,479 --> 00:05:54,605
Morgan!
129
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Morgan Mackintosh Jr.!
130
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I've been worried sick.
131
00:05:58,358 --> 00:06:01,111
I thought you were asleep
in the back seat.
132
00:06:01,195 --> 00:06:03,154
Teddy had to make a tinkle.
133
00:06:06,366 --> 00:06:07,534
You must be Morgan.
134
00:06:07,618 --> 00:06:09,702
You must be the resident Romeo.
135
00:06:12,790 --> 00:06:15,000
- Thanks an inch, big mouth.
- Yeah.
136
00:06:15,084 --> 00:06:16,794
This happens to be Nancy Mackintosh.
137
00:06:16,835 --> 00:06:18,420
- An old high school friend.
- Hi.
138
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:21,339
Hi, I hope we haven't been too
much trouble, Mr. Brown.
139
00:06:21,423 --> 00:06:23,675
You certainly have been
a lot of trouble.
140
00:06:23,759 --> 00:06:25,094
You realize this kid was so scared
141
00:06:25,135 --> 00:06:26,803
she wet her teddy bear?
142
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,556
I never saw a kid cry that much.
143
00:06:29,640 --> 00:06:33,435
Oh, if you fib,
144
00:06:33,476 --> 00:06:36,355
your nose is gonna grow big.
145
00:06:37,147 --> 00:06:39,315
Come on, Morgan.
Get in the car.
146
00:06:39,358 --> 00:06:42,236
- Well thanks, Chico.
- I'm sorry, Nancy. It's right--
147
00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:44,613
[Nancy] Sorry, Mr. Brown,
I'll do my best.
148
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:46,156
- Right on the corner.
- Yeah.
149
00:06:47,324 --> 00:06:50,077
How do you like that?
She almost forgot her own kid.
150
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,496
Well, I guess they don't make
mothers like they used to.
151
00:06:52,538 --> 00:06:55,124
Now, wait a minute. Before you
start in on Nancy, stop.
152
00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,251
I had a secret crush on
that girl in high school.
153
00:06:57,334 --> 00:06:59,837
Yeah, well you stay away from her.
She's a married woman.
154
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:01,255
She's divorced.
155
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,173
That's the worst kind of married woman.
156
00:07:04,007 --> 00:07:05,592
Is that philosophy or stupidity?
157
00:07:05,676 --> 00:07:07,386
No, that's life.
158
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:10,264
A divorced woman has only
got one thing in her mind.
159
00:07:10,347 --> 00:07:11,974
And that's grabbing a new meal ticket.
160
00:07:12,015 --> 00:07:13,350
No, not Nancy.
161
00:07:13,392 --> 00:07:14,768
She was always smarter that that.
162
00:07:14,852 --> 00:07:16,436
She graduated with high honors.
163
00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:17,688
Cum Laude?
164
00:07:17,729 --> 00:07:19,356
I said she graduated with high honors!
165
00:07:19,398 --> 00:07:20,858
Oh, shut up.
166
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:22,276
In my days, things were different.
167
00:07:22,359 --> 00:07:24,486
People stay together no matter what.
168
00:07:24,528 --> 00:07:26,446
Even if they were unhappy.
169
00:07:26,530 --> 00:07:27,906
What's happiness?
170
00:07:27,990 --> 00:07:29,533
People should learn to
be happy without it.
171
00:07:29,575 --> 00:07:31,201
Life is full of rottenness.
172
00:07:31,243 --> 00:07:33,412
They should learn to share
it with the same person
173
00:07:33,495 --> 00:07:35,330
instead of getting
divorced and re-married
174
00:07:35,372 --> 00:07:37,374
and learning to live
with new rottenness.
175
00:07:37,457 --> 00:07:39,168
But, if there are only
means new rottenness
176
00:07:39,209 --> 00:07:40,711
why would Nancy wanna re-marry?
177
00:07:40,794 --> 00:07:42,379
Because to a woman new rottenness
178
00:07:42,421 --> 00:07:45,174
is better than no rottenness at all.
179
00:07:45,215 --> 00:07:47,551
Ed, you're a one man ignorance epidemic.
180
00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,803
Ah.
I'm giving you warning.
181
00:07:49,887 --> 00:07:53,557
That woman is gonna rope you hog
tail and put her brand on you.
182
00:07:53,599 --> 00:07:55,184
Mm. that sounds like fun.
183
00:07:56,852 --> 00:08:00,022
♪♪
184
00:08:06,987 --> 00:08:09,072
Happy Sunday to all!
185
00:08:14,912 --> 00:08:17,456
Hey. Ed, are you there?
186
00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,750
Hey, Ed, where are you?
187
00:08:19,833 --> 00:08:22,419
I'm over here in the play pen.
188
00:08:22,461 --> 00:08:24,129
Oh.
189
00:08:24,213 --> 00:08:26,381
You know, I didn't see
you in church today.
190
00:08:27,007 --> 00:08:28,508
I didn't go to church.
191
00:08:28,592 --> 00:08:29,593
Neither did I.
192
00:08:30,719 --> 00:08:32,386
I guess that's why I didn't see you.
193
00:08:32,429 --> 00:08:33,764
[laughs]
194
00:08:33,804 --> 00:08:35,098
Hey, Ed. Where's Chico?
195
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,601
Oh, Nancy dragged him off to the zoo.
196
00:08:37,684 --> 00:08:39,770
She's taking pictures of that new panda.
197
00:08:39,852 --> 00:08:41,688
What new panda?
198
00:08:41,772 --> 00:08:43,232
What's the matter with you, Louie?
199
00:08:43,273 --> 00:08:44,942
Don't you read the newspapers?
200
00:08:45,025 --> 00:08:47,694
That new female panda they
send over from China.
201
00:08:47,778 --> 00:08:49,363
- They wanna ma--
- Yeah.
202
00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,614
Oh...
203
00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:52,282
They-they want to, uh...
204
00:08:52,324 --> 00:08:54,117
They put her with the
male panda, you know.
205
00:08:54,159 --> 00:08:56,119
They got him in the cage.
You know, male panda.
206
00:08:56,203 --> 00:08:57,578
And they put the two of
them together and...
207
00:08:57,621 --> 00:09:00,040
- Yeah.
- Oh, it's too embarrassing.
208
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:02,208
Why?
209
00:09:02,292 --> 00:09:05,128
They're both wearing fur coats!
210
00:09:05,170 --> 00:09:08,423
And besides, Ed, you see,
Nancy is a photographer.
211
00:09:08,465 --> 00:09:09,758
She is on an assignment.
212
00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,094
What kind of a woman makes
a living going around
213
00:09:12,135 --> 00:09:14,304
taking porno panda pictures?
214
00:09:15,639 --> 00:09:17,266
Ed, she is a nice girl.
215
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:20,184
Nice girl? She's got Chico
running around in circles.
216
00:09:20,269 --> 00:09:21,895
You realize what he did yesterday?
217
00:09:21,979 --> 00:09:25,649
He put a new fan belt in her car
and didn't let her pay a cent.
218
00:09:25,732 --> 00:09:29,361
Oh-oh, it always start with the fan belt
219
00:09:29,444 --> 00:09:31,613
and then it moves to a garter belt.
220
00:09:31,655 --> 00:09:33,155
Yeah.
221
00:09:33,240 --> 00:09:35,284
And it winds up with a ring job.
222
00:09:36,201 --> 00:09:38,412
- Now I know what's bugging you.
- What?
223
00:09:38,495 --> 00:09:41,206
You're afraid that Nancy's
gonna tow Chico's
224
00:09:41,290 --> 00:09:42,833
chassis out of your life.
225
00:09:42,874 --> 00:09:45,168
Are you kidding?
You think I need Chico?
226
00:09:45,252 --> 00:09:47,587
He's not here now and look
at the fun we're having.
227
00:09:49,006 --> 00:09:51,008
Yeah, whoopee.
228
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:53,010
Hey, you've got some dip
for these potato chips?
229
00:09:53,051 --> 00:09:55,136
Yeah, I think I got
something in the ice box.
230
00:09:55,178 --> 00:09:57,389
And I sure hope ol' Chico gets back
231
00:09:57,472 --> 00:10:00,058
in time to see what fun really is.
232
00:10:02,977 --> 00:10:04,271
Where's that wrench?
233
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:13,030
You know, that kid is making
the shambles of this place?
234
00:10:13,113 --> 00:10:15,699
She doesn't have one
normal toy to play with.
235
00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,159
All she does is play Slapjack
236
00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:19,453
with a bunch of lousy football cards.
237
00:10:19,535 --> 00:10:21,203
And play with this crummy bear.
238
00:10:21,288 --> 00:10:23,749
Look at him.
His insides are coming out.
239
00:10:23,832 --> 00:10:26,585
Yeah, you should have
this bear picked up for
240
00:10:26,668 --> 00:10:28,211
indecent exposure.
241
00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:30,464
Louie, I guess with taping this bear
242
00:10:30,547 --> 00:10:32,506
I'm gonna put some tape on your mouth.
243
00:10:34,051 --> 00:10:36,219
[singing rhymes]
244
00:10:39,389 --> 00:10:40,891
- What's happening, Louie?
- Hey there, Chico.
245
00:10:40,932 --> 00:10:42,601
- Louie, hi. Hello, Ed.
- Yeah.
246
00:10:42,684 --> 00:10:45,687
Here, Ed, I got you the
last Mickey mouse.
247
00:10:45,729 --> 00:10:47,230
Mickey? Oh, thank you dear.
248
00:10:47,272 --> 00:10:48,398
But I really don't need a Mickey.
249
00:10:48,482 --> 00:10:50,525
I already got a Goofy and a Dopey.
250
00:10:53,278 --> 00:10:55,489
Well, folks I gotta go.
251
00:10:55,572 --> 00:10:56,698
Oh.
252
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,992
Because, uh, best vision now.
253
00:11:00,660 --> 00:11:03,580
And don't forget to say your
prayers, little Morgan.
254
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:04,998
Toodaloo.
255
00:11:05,082 --> 00:11:06,333
Bye, y'all, I'll see you later.
256
00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:07,751
- Go on. Take it easy.
- Bye, Louie.
257
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:10,420
Come on, Morgan.
We gotta be going, too.
258
00:11:11,171 --> 00:11:12,839
It was a wonderful day, Chico.
259
00:11:12,923 --> 00:11:14,341
Yeah, not only for us.
260
00:11:14,424 --> 00:11:17,052
I was proud to be there while
animal history was made.
261
00:11:17,094 --> 00:11:19,304
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.
262
00:11:20,472 --> 00:11:22,516
Why, Ed, they were two
consenting pandas.
263
00:11:22,599 --> 00:11:23,392
Ah...
264
00:11:23,433 --> 00:11:24,768
You wanna catch a flick tonight?
265
00:11:24,809 --> 00:11:26,895
Oh, I'd love to.
266
00:11:26,937 --> 00:11:28,230
But my babysitter's busy.
267
00:11:28,271 --> 00:11:29,940
You could go mommy.
268
00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:33,026
- I'll watch TV with Ed.
- Oh-oh.
269
00:11:34,277 --> 00:11:36,738
No, Morgan.
We can't impose on Mr. Brown.
270
00:11:36,780 --> 00:11:39,116
You're right. I'm getting sick
and tired of watching those
271
00:11:39,199 --> 00:11:41,660
Three Stooges bop each
other on the head.
272
00:11:41,743 --> 00:11:44,246
Well, then watch the Rams and
the Vikings bop each other.
273
00:11:44,287 --> 00:11:46,706
- Is Harris starting tonight?
- [Ed] What?
274
00:11:46,790 --> 00:11:48,625
James Harris, the Rams quarterback.
275
00:11:48,708 --> 00:11:51,545
I know who he is.
Yes, he'll probably start.
276
00:11:51,628 --> 00:11:56,383
If I know Foxy Knoxy, he's
saving him for the 49ers game.
277
00:11:56,466 --> 00:11:58,802
The Vikes will slaughter him.
278
00:11:58,844 --> 00:12:00,679
Yeah, 50 cents says that
279
00:12:00,761 --> 00:12:03,098
Harris will start and the Rams will win.
280
00:12:03,140 --> 00:12:04,516
- Oh, yeah?
- Yeah.
281
00:12:04,599 --> 00:12:07,144
Ten football cards, says they'll fold.
282
00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:09,271
Okay, wise guy.
283
00:12:09,312 --> 00:12:11,314
Put your cards where your mouth is.
284
00:12:11,356 --> 00:12:14,401
Okay then, buddy.
They're in the car.
285
00:12:14,484 --> 00:12:17,487
Mommy, could you let
me across the street?
286
00:12:17,571 --> 00:12:19,823
I think we found her babysitter.
287
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:22,367
Be right back.
Come on, Morgan.
288
00:12:23,368 --> 00:12:24,828
You! You miserable--
289
00:12:24,910 --> 00:12:26,913
You're a big help.
Now, you see what you've done.
290
00:12:26,997 --> 00:12:28,582
You've stuck me with that little brat.
291
00:12:28,665 --> 00:12:30,542
Well, you better get used to her, Ed.
292
00:12:30,625 --> 00:12:32,878
Tonight, I'm gonna ask
her mother to marry me.
293
00:12:32,961 --> 00:12:34,045
Marry you?
294
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:36,798
♪♪
295
00:12:42,888 --> 00:12:46,099
[commentator on TV] The score is
tied with only 15 seconds to go.
296
00:12:46,183 --> 00:12:47,851
Harris hand's off to McCutcheon.
297
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:50,352
It's a wide sweep to the left.
He's down to the ten.
298
00:12:50,437 --> 00:12:52,397
- Go. Go man, go, go!
- Went offside!
299
00:12:52,481 --> 00:12:54,191
- Go! Hey!
- Went offside!
300
00:12:54,274 --> 00:12:57,527
Went offside! Went offside!
301
00:12:57,569 --> 00:12:59,196
[Ed laughs]
302
00:12:59,237 --> 00:13:01,072
Quiet, you half-pint Howard Cosell.
303
00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:03,366
Didn't you hear him?
The mans-- the Rams won.
304
00:13:03,450 --> 00:13:06,203
Okay, wise guy, get up
the cards. Ten of them.
305
00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:08,872
Okay, okay. Not so fast.
306
00:13:08,955 --> 00:13:11,041
I have to choose.
307
00:13:11,124 --> 00:13:12,958
Well, hurry up.
308
00:13:13,043 --> 00:13:15,086
And I don't want any torn ones either.
309
00:13:15,170 --> 00:13:18,131
Wow, this is really tough.
310
00:13:18,215 --> 00:13:20,217
Well, pick out something.
311
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:22,761
Let's see that one.
No, I don't want him.
312
00:13:22,844 --> 00:13:25,222
I don't even like his
perfume commercials.
313
00:13:25,304 --> 00:13:28,350
I know.
I'll give you the dupies.
314
00:13:28,391 --> 00:13:30,059
Dupies? What's dupies?
315
00:13:30,101 --> 00:13:32,229
Duplicates. My extra cards.
316
00:13:32,312 --> 00:13:35,065
Here. I hope you don't
already have these.
317
00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:37,025
Well, let me see.
318
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:40,028
No, no, no, this team's
been on the cellar so long
319
00:13:40,070 --> 00:13:42,072
their cleats are getting rusty.
I don't want 'em.
320
00:13:42,155 --> 00:13:43,615
That's my daddy's team.
321
00:13:43,698 --> 00:13:46,660
Yeah? Well, where's the
picture of your daddy?
322
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:47,869
I'll get it.
323
00:13:47,910 --> 00:13:50,205
I keep it in my private bear.
324
00:13:51,081 --> 00:13:52,332
Private bear?
325
00:13:54,251 --> 00:13:56,711
Oh, so that's where you keep 'em, huh?
326
00:13:59,714 --> 00:14:01,925
Here's Daddy when he was with Oakland.
327
00:14:01,967 --> 00:14:04,511
This is when he was with
Oakland Raiders, huh.
328
00:14:04,594 --> 00:14:06,513
And here's when he was traded to Dallas.
329
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,932
[Ed] Oh, he was with the
Dallas cowboys, too, huh?
330
00:14:09,015 --> 00:14:12,102
And here's where he's now.
On the Buffalo Bills.
331
00:14:12,184 --> 00:14:13,895
The Buffalo Bills?
332
00:14:14,646 --> 00:14:15,855
Oh, I see.
333
00:14:15,939 --> 00:14:17,399
Running back, huh?
334
00:14:17,982 --> 00:14:21,945
Wow, Morgan Mackintosh.
335
00:14:21,987 --> 00:14:23,780
I never heard of him.
336
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:25,448
He is a second stringer.
337
00:14:25,490 --> 00:14:29,619
But if they let him start,
he'd be more better than OJ.
338
00:14:29,661 --> 00:14:33,123
- It's those dumb coaches.
- Yeah, those dumb coaches.
339
00:14:33,206 --> 00:14:34,583
What do they know?
340
00:14:34,624 --> 00:14:36,710
Why, he sure is a nice looking fellow.
341
00:14:36,793 --> 00:14:40,005
He has work to do on
the team... far away.
342
00:14:40,088 --> 00:14:41,881
But he loves me.
343
00:14:41,965 --> 00:14:44,009
Oh, of course he does.
344
00:14:44,092 --> 00:14:45,802
Who wouldn't, huh?
345
00:14:46,469 --> 00:14:48,054
Eh, don't get me wrong.
346
00:14:48,138 --> 00:14:49,472
You got your faults.
347
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,141
Sometimes, you're a
terrible pain in the--
348
00:14:51,182 --> 00:14:54,436
I mean, uh, sometimes
you're a terrible person.
349
00:14:54,477 --> 00:14:55,812
[horn honking]
350
00:14:56,855 --> 00:14:58,398
Oh-oh!
351
00:15:03,987 --> 00:15:06,573
Now, don't tell your mother
that I gave you four Twinkies.
352
00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,158
- I promise.
- Okay.
353
00:15:08,199 --> 00:15:10,327
If you give me an another one.
354
00:15:10,410 --> 00:15:12,746
Shut up, you!
Go to sleep, you...
355
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,918
- Oh.
- That was a great drive-in.
356
00:15:19,002 --> 00:15:21,004
Next time we go, we ought
to watch the movie.
357
00:15:22,547 --> 00:15:25,091
Oh, I hope everything went all right.
358
00:15:25,175 --> 00:15:27,844
That little monkey can be
pretty hard to handle.
359
00:15:27,886 --> 00:15:30,680
Oh, don't worry. I'm sure
Morgan handled him fine.
360
00:15:30,722 --> 00:15:31,890
[Nancy chuckles]
361
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,524
You know what I never could understand?
362
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,193
Why you ever fell for a Big Mac
363
00:15:43,276 --> 00:15:46,029
when you had so much to choose
from your local Taco Bell.
364
00:15:46,071 --> 00:15:48,490
I was a 16 year old cheerleader.
365
00:15:48,531 --> 00:15:51,326
Swept over her feet by a football star.
366
00:15:51,368 --> 00:15:53,328
That's the American dream.
367
00:15:53,370 --> 00:15:54,621
Yeah, but you're a Juarez.
368
00:15:54,704 --> 00:15:56,665
You're supposed to dream
the Chicano dream.
369
00:15:56,706 --> 00:15:59,626
Oh, when I grew up the
Chicano dream was trying to
370
00:15:59,709 --> 00:16:01,670
break into the American dream.
371
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,672
You must have felt the same way.
372
00:16:03,713 --> 00:16:06,633
No. I never wanted to be
anything but what I am.
373
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:09,219
A mad impetus guy.
374
00:16:09,260 --> 00:16:13,098
Loveable, modest, handy around
the house, good with kids.
375
00:16:13,181 --> 00:16:14,766
Wonderful with kids.
376
00:16:20,563 --> 00:16:23,608
Some day that boy's gonna
learn not to mumble.
377
00:16:23,692 --> 00:16:25,402
You know something, Chico?
378
00:16:26,361 --> 00:16:29,739
You've made my homecoming so... happy.
379
00:16:29,781 --> 00:16:31,074
So right.
380
00:16:34,244 --> 00:16:37,372
Do you know what would make
my new life complete?
381
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:39,582
- What?
- An attic.
382
00:16:41,209 --> 00:16:42,627
Okay, I'll go for that.
383
00:16:43,128 --> 00:16:45,130
And a basement.
384
00:16:45,213 --> 00:16:47,465
- Come here to me.
- What?
385
00:16:47,549 --> 00:16:49,259
You know, I never told anybody this
386
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:52,011
but, I'm a big basement man myself.
387
00:16:52,095 --> 00:16:53,012
Oh.
388
00:16:53,763 --> 00:16:56,433
I wanna put down roots.
389
00:16:56,516 --> 00:16:58,268
I wanna knit sweaters.
390
00:16:58,351 --> 00:16:59,769
Make jam.
391
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:02,021
- I love jam in my sweaters.
- Oh.
392
00:17:04,773 --> 00:17:07,318
I want a Thanksgiving turkey.
393
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:09,571
A Christmas tree.
394
00:17:09,612 --> 00:17:12,282
A heart shaped box of
candy on Valentines day.
395
00:17:12,323 --> 00:17:13,575
Yeah!
396
00:17:13,616 --> 00:17:15,452
And dozen red roses every anniversary.
397
00:17:19,789 --> 00:17:21,583
Morgan? Morgan, wake up, wake up.
398
00:17:21,624 --> 00:17:24,377
Come on, wake up.
Wake up quick.
399
00:17:24,461 --> 00:17:25,754
Atta girl.
400
00:17:26,504 --> 00:17:28,006
Were you asleep?
401
00:17:28,089 --> 00:17:31,760
No, I was watching the
instant replays in my head.
402
00:17:33,970 --> 00:17:35,597
Morgan, uh...
403
00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:38,975
How would you like to come
and live with me and Chico
404
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,852
and your mother of course.
405
00:17:40,935 --> 00:17:42,145
You mean here?
406
00:17:42,228 --> 00:17:45,315
Or are you gonna be traded
to another garage.
407
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,858
No.
408
00:17:46,941 --> 00:17:50,695
What I mean is, uh, we'll get
a nice little white house
409
00:17:50,779 --> 00:17:52,196
with a white picket fence
410
00:17:52,280 --> 00:17:55,032
so we can keep all the neighbor's
kids out of our yard.
411
00:17:55,116 --> 00:17:59,162
- Are there gonna be kids?
- Oh, lots of kids.
412
00:17:59,204 --> 00:18:01,414
Gee! Can I have a best friend?
413
00:18:01,498 --> 00:18:04,417
You can have anything you want.
414
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:06,044
Now, go to sleep.
415
00:18:08,129 --> 00:18:09,672
And stop waking up.
416
00:18:13,092 --> 00:18:15,637
Hey, Chico!
Did you ask her, huh?
417
00:18:15,678 --> 00:18:18,473
Tell me, did you ask her to marry you?
418
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:20,183
- Did you ask her?
- Ask me what?
419
00:18:20,266 --> 00:18:22,477
Nancy, will you marry us?
420
00:18:25,396 --> 00:18:26,773
Is that what you were getting at?
421
00:18:26,856 --> 00:18:28,441
Of course, that's what
he was getting at.
422
00:18:28,525 --> 00:18:30,859
Let's set the day.
I'm free on Saturday.
How's that?
423
00:18:30,902 --> 00:18:32,862
Ed, if you don't get back upstairs
424
00:18:32,904 --> 00:18:34,656
you're not gonna live to see Saturday.
425
00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:37,200
That's gratitude for you.
We got a lot to do.
426
00:18:37,282 --> 00:18:39,536
We got to go hunting for
a house in the country.
427
00:18:39,577 --> 00:18:40,787
I want a den.
428
00:18:40,869 --> 00:18:42,622
- Den?
- And I want privacy.
429
00:18:42,705 --> 00:18:44,958
- No.
- Make that two dens.
430
00:18:45,041 --> 00:18:47,794
Ed, just go to your room.
Just go to your room.
431
00:18:47,877 --> 00:18:49,379
What? In the middle of my proposal?
432
00:18:49,462 --> 00:18:51,965
No! You don't realize
433
00:18:52,048 --> 00:18:54,717
I have something to say
here too, you know?
434
00:18:54,759 --> 00:18:55,969
- Well, what?
- Go ahead.
435
00:18:56,052 --> 00:18:57,595
- Go ahead, say it.
- All right.
436
00:18:57,679 --> 00:18:59,931
Now, you just can't...
437
00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,976
You just can't tell...
438
00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:05,353
What do you mean...
439
00:19:05,395 --> 00:19:07,730
[sobbingly mumbling]
440
00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,401
How you talk about it...
441
00:19:11,484 --> 00:19:13,695
[mumbling shrieks]
442
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:16,990
Did you get any of that?
443
00:19:18,992 --> 00:19:20,618
[Nancy crying]
444
00:19:20,702 --> 00:19:22,996
She doesn't want the den.
445
00:19:23,079 --> 00:19:24,664
Don't worry, sweetheart.
If you don't want the den
446
00:19:24,747 --> 00:19:26,040
you can have a sewing room.
447
00:19:26,082 --> 00:19:28,251
[crying]
448
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:32,130
That ain't it either, Ed.
Now, take it easy, Nancy.
What is it?
449
00:19:35,425 --> 00:19:42,599
I have never felt so
wanted in my whole life.
450
00:19:42,640 --> 00:19:45,393
But I can't marry either one of you.
451
00:19:45,435 --> 00:19:46,895
- Why not?
- What's the matter?
452
00:19:46,936 --> 00:19:49,105
What's the problem, honey?
You know, I'm...
453
00:19:50,273 --> 00:19:54,277
I am not ready to get married again.
454
00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:56,112
Well, what about the
turkey and the roots?
455
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,823
Yeah, and a house in the country.
456
00:19:58,907 --> 00:20:01,784
Well, I know I've been out
of California a while.
457
00:20:01,868 --> 00:20:05,079
But can't you still buy a turkey
without a marriage license?
458
00:20:05,121 --> 00:20:08,124
Yeah, but you gotta have
money to buy a turkey.
459
00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:10,084
And you need a husband to foot the bill.
460
00:20:10,126 --> 00:20:12,170
I can foot my own bills, thank you!
461
00:20:12,253 --> 00:20:16,049
How? By taking lewd porno
pictures in the zoo?
462
00:20:16,758 --> 00:20:18,635
Oh, for heaven sakes.
463
00:20:18,676 --> 00:20:20,303
That's what wrong with this country.
464
00:20:20,345 --> 00:20:22,055
Woman's place is in a home.
465
00:20:22,138 --> 00:20:24,849
They should be hanging
curtains and washing windows
466
00:20:24,933 --> 00:20:27,810
and scrubbing floors,
women should not work.
467
00:20:28,686 --> 00:20:32,648
Ed, could I be rejected
in peace, please?
468
00:20:32,690 --> 00:20:35,151
Chico, this isn't goodbye.
469
00:20:35,193 --> 00:20:37,987
Well, it's not your basic run
of the mill "hello" either.
470
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:39,489
Now, look.
471
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:43,660
I went right from my father's
house into my husband's house.
472
00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:47,330
Now, I want a house of my own.
473
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,499
And time.
474
00:20:49,582 --> 00:20:52,460
To get to know the person living there.
475
00:20:52,502 --> 00:20:55,880
I understand.
Took me a while to find myself, too.
476
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,465
I give you two weeks.
477
00:20:57,507 --> 00:20:58,675
[Nancy chuckles]
478
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:04,263
- Are we going to our new house?
- Oh, Morgan!
479
00:21:04,347 --> 00:21:05,515
What new house?
480
00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:08,017
The one next door to my best friend.
481
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:10,686
Forget it, Morgan.
We ain't gonna have house.
482
00:21:10,770 --> 00:21:12,397
Oh, yes we are!
483
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,275
Someday you and Mommy are going
to have a very nice house.
484
00:21:16,359 --> 00:21:18,569
Would Chico and Ed be there?
485
00:21:18,653 --> 00:21:21,321
Anytime they want.
486
00:21:21,364 --> 00:21:22,991
Please fix the teddy again?
487
00:21:23,032 --> 00:21:26,035
Okay, sweetheart. But I'll have
to take him into surgery.
488
00:21:27,036 --> 00:21:28,830
- Ah, Nancy.
- Yeah.
489
00:21:29,747 --> 00:21:30,873
- Umm...
- What?
490
00:21:30,957 --> 00:21:32,959
- Well, uh...
- Well, what?
491
00:21:33,042 --> 00:21:35,253
- Can I call you sometime?
- How about tomorrow?
492
00:21:35,336 --> 00:21:36,629
Well, how about tonight?
493
00:21:36,713 --> 00:21:37,922
Well, let it ring a while
494
00:21:38,006 --> 00:21:39,882
'cause it takes me ten
minutes to get home.
495
00:21:41,092 --> 00:21:42,135
Come on, Morgan.
496
00:21:44,512 --> 00:21:45,930
Goodnight, Ed.
497
00:21:46,013 --> 00:21:47,890
- Night, Chico.
- Goodnight. Goodnight, honey.
498
00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:48,933
Bye.
499
00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:53,855
Why, you really did it
this time, butterfingers.
500
00:21:53,896 --> 00:21:55,732
Butterfingers?
What are you talking about?
501
00:21:55,773 --> 00:21:57,066
You're on your way to a touchdown
502
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:59,277
but you fumbled on the one yard line.
503
00:22:00,486 --> 00:22:01,904
You not only lost the game
504
00:22:01,946 --> 00:22:04,532
but you deprived me of
having a grandchild.
505
00:22:04,574 --> 00:22:06,659
Ed, it's only half time.
506
00:22:11,873 --> 00:22:15,251
Stay in the cheering section.
We'll get to the Super Bowl yet.
507
00:22:16,210 --> 00:22:17,170
Gramps.
508
00:22:27,221 --> 00:22:28,848
- [Ed] Know somethin'?
- [Louie] What's that?
509
00:22:28,931 --> 00:22:30,641
- We must have these more often.
- I'll eat to that.
510
00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:32,477
- Here, you can have this.
All righty?
- Oh, thank you.
511
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:35,521
Morgan... you didn't open
this present from Ed.
512
00:22:35,605 --> 00:22:39,108
Another one? He had to
give me this yucky dress.
513
00:22:39,192 --> 00:22:41,234
Morgan, where are your manners?
514
00:22:41,277 --> 00:22:44,030
She been spending too much time with Ed.
515
00:22:44,113 --> 00:22:46,699
How would you like a little
more tape across your mouth?
516
00:22:46,782 --> 00:22:48,409
Go ahead, Morgan. Open it up.
517
00:22:48,451 --> 00:22:49,911
I'm sorry, Ed.
518
00:22:49,952 --> 00:22:52,163
- I'll love this even if it's a bracelet.
- Good.
519
00:22:52,246 --> 00:22:56,459
In a box that big, it must be
a slave bracelet on a slave.
520
00:22:56,501 --> 00:22:57,835
Oh, come on. Let's move on.
521
00:22:57,919 --> 00:22:59,504
- Hey, shoulder pads.
- Oh.
522
00:22:59,587 --> 00:23:00,922
- Look at that!
- Oh, look!
523
00:23:00,963 --> 00:23:03,174
- Wear it gorgeous.
- All right, Morgan.
524
00:23:03,257 --> 00:23:04,926
- Look at that.
- Oh goody!
525
00:23:04,967 --> 00:23:06,803
Even knew my size.
526
00:23:06,886 --> 00:23:10,098
Oh, Ed, you dear thing
you shouldn't have.
527
00:23:10,138 --> 00:23:11,140
Why not?
528
00:23:11,182 --> 00:23:12,683
If things go according to Chico's plan
529
00:23:12,767 --> 00:23:13,893
she'll be able to hand these down
530
00:23:13,976 --> 00:23:16,521
to her little brother some day.
531
00:23:16,604 --> 00:23:18,439
Louie, tape that man's mouth.
532
00:23:19,523 --> 00:23:21,943
Oh, no you don't. Watch that.
533
00:23:22,734 --> 00:23:24,862
[theme song]
534
00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:30,118
[narrator] Chico and The Man is
recorded live before a studio audience
535
00:23:30,159 --> 00:23:32,912
at NBC studios, Burbank, California.
536
00:23:36,124 --> 00:23:39,377
♪ Chico was born in El Barrio ♪
537
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:43,089
♪ Spend much of his
time in the streets ♪
538
00:23:43,172 --> 00:23:46,342
♪ His mind was crazy
for knowledge ♪
539
00:23:46,425 --> 00:23:48,886
♪ His belly for
something to eat ♪
540
00:23:48,970 --> 00:23:51,388
♪ But times are hard ♪
541
00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:54,851
♪ Chico and The Man ♪
542
00:23:56,185 --> 00:23:58,436
♪ Times are hard ♪
543
00:23:59,647 --> 00:24:02,233
♪ Chico and The Man ♪
544
00:24:02,316 --> 00:24:04,484
♪ Yeah ♪
545
00:24:05,236 --> 00:24:07,238
♪ It's all right yeah ♪♪
39600
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