All language subtitles for The Last Drive-in with Joe Bob Briggs S33E02 Opera 1987 1080p AMZN WEB-DL DDP2 0 H 264-BFM_track3_[eng]

-I'm Joe Bob Briggs
with Darcy the Mail Girl,

continuing our
Phantom of the Opera

100th birthday celebration!

-Whoo!

-And to give you
some idea of just

how flexible
the Phantom story is,

we are moving
from the 1925 Foundation film,

which we just watched,
to the weirdest, most twisted,

most bizarre version
Dario Argento's 1987

gore fest "Opera."
-Whoo!

-People call this a giallo film.

I mean, what do you think,
Darcy?

Is this a giallo film?

-I think it's a giallo.

It's just kind of
an unconventional one.

-Agreed
about the unconventional.

It has the black gloves.

It has the mysterious kills,

but it doesn't have
the intricate plotting

of a traditional giallo.

-Plus, the Phantom is
not really disfigured.

-Well, he becomes disfigured
in the course of the movie.

-But it's not his motivation.

-Correct.

Anyway, the giallo era was
really just about over

by 1987.

Italian filmmakers
were looking for some new genre

to replace those.

They were making these
violent crime movies called

Poliziotteschi,
extremely lurid action movies,

films that didn't
really cross the pond.

Not many of those films made it
to American theaters.

Anyway, "Opera",
like anything else

that Dario Argento ever made,

is too weird to fit
into a genre anyway.

He really made this movie

because he was pissed off
after getting fired

from an opera festival.

Now, I've been
in show business and publishing

and film long enough to know

that you're going to
get censored

and you're going to get fired.

You have to just move on.
Dario Argento does not move on.

He is hypersensitive about every
single offense.

Every time two seconds
got cut out of one

of his films by a ratings board,

every time somebody
disrespects him in any way.

So the genesis of this movie

is that he was invited
to produce the opera Rigoletto

at a famous summer festival
in Italy.

Darcy, I'm going to tell
this whole story.

Is that okay?

-I know that you are.
-All right.

I have to tell the story
because it's so Italian.

It has all these elements
that can only happen in Italy.

Okay, so there's this summer
opera festival in the small town

of Macerata,
the middle of nowhere.

Macerata is notable
for only one thing.

It has this giant stadium
called a sferisterium.

A sferisterium is
what was used 200 years ago

for the most popular sport
in Italy,

200 years ago, called

which translates into
ball with bracelet

because they had
these professional teams

all over Italy,
and everybody bet on the games,

and the athletes were the
best paid sportsmen in Europe.

This thing was the NFL
of its day,

and if I had to describe it --
nobody can describe it really,

because I think it's still
played in only one little town

in Italy, and they've changed
all the rules today.

But basically it's two teams.
There's three guys on each team.

And they wore these giant
wooden maces on their arms.

It's like wearing a
King Kong beast glove.

Isn't that what you call
the thing on King Kong's arm

in the newest King Kong movie?
-I'm sorry.

Are you telling a story about an
extinct Italian sport right now?

-I am, yes.

I'm telling a story
about an extinct Italian sport.

-Okay, I was just making sure.
-So they wear

these wooden bats

that are carved
especially for each person.

They fit on their arm perfectly,
and they have

these pointy protuberances,
sharp things,

more than a hundred of them
on the bat, on your arm.

And you would wear this 4 pound
wooden thing on your arm,

and you would hit
a leather ball.

I'm surprised the leather ball
didn't just stick to your arm,

because these things were
like porcupines.

You had like 100 pointy things
on your arm.

And then the rules were
a little like tennis

and a little like Jai alai,

except it was
on this huge field.

It was almost as big
as a football field,

and you could bounce
the leather ball

off a side wall like handball.

But if your town had
a sferisterio, a sferitorium,

that was this huge sports arena,
and Macerata had one,

they had it then
and they still have it today.

And since nobody plays
anymore,

they use it for open air opera
in the summer.

And the orchestra pit in
this thing is so big

that the musicians
at the opposite ends

of the orchestra pit
cannot hear each other.

So the point
I'm trying to get across

is that if you stage
something on this stage,

it's got to be big,
it's got to be huge.

It's got to plunk you
over the head

and amaze all your senses
from 80 yards away.

So I can see
why they wanted Dario Argento.

They knew he would go big
with it.

Plus, you know, the story
of Rigoletto, anyway,

it has jealousy, betrayal, moral
corruption, seducing of virgins,

a hunchback, kidnapping,
murder, hitmen.

It has all this stuff that
Argento already does,

right, Darcy?

-Are you asking me
the the plot of Rigoletto?

-Well, I know you've been
to a lot of operas.

You've probably been
to more operas than I have.

-That doesn't mean
I remember even one

of the plots.
I just -- someone dies.

-Okay, well, they give you
that synopsis thing

when you go to the, you know,

so you can tell
what's happening.

-So I used to hang out
with this dude who,

like, loved opera.

-So you saw a lot of operas.
-Yeah.

-Anyway, here's the problem
with Argento doing Rigoletto.

Rigoletto was written by Verdi.
He's the big guy.

Isn't he like the Tom Brady
of Italian composers?

Verdi.

-You're not asking me to rate
opera composers right now.

-I am asking you
to rate opera composers.

-I am --
I am not qualified for that.

I am not into opera.
I went to a lot of opera.

-You have told me about opera.

-I'm just not into operas.

-Okay, well, I'm not into
operas either,

but at least some of them
have good plots.

And so Argento gets excited
about doing one

of the summer operas.

He starts working on the show
with Sergio Stivaletti,

the guy who was doing all the
gore effects for "Demons"

and the other movies.

So you know
it was going to be bloody.

And he basically -- what he did
is he talked about it too much.

He said he was going to change
the setting to the Viking era,

and the Duke of Mantua
was going to be a vampire,

and he was planning
a big ballet number that was

in the style of Busby Berkeley
musicals in the '50s --

in the '30s,
and he was going to put

mild electrical shockers
under the seats,

like William Castle
did in "The Tingler."

And so they wanted to go big.

Argento was going to go big,

but two things stopped him.

One, it was a Verdi opera.

It was beloved.

Italians know all
the words to it.

They know what's supposed
to happen.

But even more important,
the previous year,

the festival had hired
Ken Russell to direct La Boheme,

and he had loaded it
up with Nazi icons.

He had the Mimi character die
of a heroin overdose,

and people got really upset
about that.

So the thinking on the board of
the sferisterium was, well,

if they got that upset
over the French opera,

think what they're going to do

when this horror director fucks
with Verdi.

So they fired Argento.

-La Boheme is not
a French opera.

-What?
-Sorry.

-I thought you weren't
into opera.

-I mean,
sometimes I remember stuff.

La Boheme was actually
an Italian opera by Puccini.

-La Boheme is Italian?
But has a French name?

-That's true.

-Okay, well, gouge
my guts out with a dirty stick.

So Dario Argento goes,

"Fuck the Macerata
sferisterium.

I'm too deep
into this opera stuff.

I'm going to do
a huge opera movie.

I'm not just going to mess
with a festival in a small town.

I'm going to blow up
the whole opera culture,

and I'm going to do it
with a perverted version

of the first movie I ever saw,
'Phantom of the opera.'"

Only he saw the one
with Claude Rains.

His parents took him to it
when he was 4,

and I'm actually surprised that
it made any impression on him

at all, because it's probably
the tamest of all the Phantoms.

But anyway, he started
making plans for "Opera",

which would end up
being his most expensive movie.

Uh, $8 million budget.

And of the $8 million,

$760,000 of the budget
was spent on just one scene,

which I guess is
typical Argento.

-So have you arrived
at the moment yet

when you were going to speak
of tonight's movie?

-Well, I am speaking
of tonight's movie,

but I want to do
a rant first, though.

-Was that not the rant?

Oh, my God.
-No, that was a preliminary

story setting up
"Opera" the movie.

There was no ranting,

but I actually had
some thoughts on the fact

that we've been talking
about the 1920s tonight.

Right?
-Yes.

-And now we're in the 2020s.

And when I was researching
the 1920s,

I came to the conclusion
that most of us

would have been happier
in that earlier decade,

100 years ago,
even though it's 100 years ago,

and we're the nation
of progress,

it's supposed to make
life better and better, right?

-I am not sure I agree
with that, actually.

-You don't think people
would have been happier in 1920?

-I don't think
people know what they mean

when they say progress.
-Well, that's true,

but most people would say that
life gets progressively easier

and safer and happier, right?

-So what makes you think
the '20s were so great?

-Well, first of all,

I noticed when researching
the people involved

with "Phantom of the Opera"

that most of the people
are happy and energetic.

-Didn't you say everyone was

fighting on the set of
"Phantom"?

-Yes, but they were fighting
about the movie.

They weren't fighting
about who's a good person

and who's not a good person,
like people do on the Internet.

They're kind of like,
live and let live.

-Okay.
-At the time.

So look at the stuff that
happened in the 1920s, right?

The biggie is women get
the right to vote.

-True.

-Okay.
I mean, way overdue in 1920.

But now
that we're 100 years later,

people still say, oh, look,
the first woman to do this,

or we need a strong
woman character

because we don't have
enough of them,

or we need to stand up
for the rights of women,

or women should be paid
the same as men.

I mean, we've had 100 years.

I mean, after all this time,

should we still be talking
about it?

They did
the tough work in the 1920s.

Why are we still dicking around?
It shouldn't be an issue.

We're not as enlightened
as they were.

We couldn't follow up
and just make everything equal.

-Okay, that's a rant.
-All right.

-And a fair point.
-All right.

And they always say two things
about the '20s,

flappers and jazz.

They call it the Jazz Age

because it's at the beginning
of jazz.

So they invented
this musical genre

that we're still using today.

In fact,
they have schools of jazz today.

They teach it,
they celebrate it.

There are jazz clubs
in my neighborhood.

So they invented a style
of music

that's still alive
100 years later.

What style of music have
we invented that will be studied

and celebrated in the 2120s,
100 years from now?

Synthwave? I think not.
You know, Eurodance?

Hell, no.

You know,
everything today is a rehash.

It's a fusion of stuff
from before.

-You've really
thought about this.

-Yeah, I mean,
the last big, real

change in music was rock n roll.

That was in the '50s.
Well, maybe hip hop.

Hip hop starts in the '70s,
but that's still 50 years ago.

So when they talk about
the flappers,

what they're really talking
about is women.

Women went wild. They went wild.

Once they got the vote,
they went --

They were dancing like crazy,
but they weren't just dancing.

It was a time
of great sexual freedom, too.

And in fact,
when you read the backgrounds

of all these silent film stars,
half of the women

and a large percentage
of the men were bisexual,

which makes sense because
they came from the theater

or the circus or vaudeville,
and working on the stage

was always this
free love type of atmosphere,

but they were not uptight
about it.

If you were basically
a straight person,

but you dabbled in gay
on the side,

that was not considered weird.

The silent star Nazimova,

she didn't lose her job because
she ran this big lesbian salon.

F.W. Murnau, the guy
who did "Nosferatu",

he could live with his partner,
nobody cared about it.

The moral crusades against
gay people came after that.

Mae West, she modeled
her act after drag queens.

She said, "I am a drag queen

who happens
to be a biological woman."

So --
-So what's your point?

-Everybody was happy,
and live and let live.

Or most people were happy,

and they didn't have
so many social rules.

I think partly this is

because they had two
big catastrophes at the end

of the prior decade.

They had World War I,
which was nasty.

People had never seen anything
like that, 40 million dead.

And then 50 million dead
in the Spanish flu,

much worse than COVID.

So a fifth of
the world population was killed,

but they got over it.

They were partying.
Prices got better.

They had actual deflation.

-The country paid off a third of
its national debt in the '30s.

We just keep
raising the national debt today.

It doesn't matter
who's in office,

we're just raising
the national debt.

So people had a strong dollar.

Everybody bought a car.

Uh, they invented stuff
that we still use today.

The refrigerator, the vacuum
cleaner, the washing machine.

Advent of radio created mass
entertainment for the first time

on a national level.

They're just loving life.
Calvin Coolidge was president.

He was known as the
do nothing president.

He believed in
limited government.

So he tried
to constantly do nothing.

That's the kind of president
I love.

You know, they decided
the immigration numbers

had gotten out of control.

So they had this working theory

that when immigration gets to
15% of the population,

people start to get
uncomfortable.

So you just cut off visas
until it goes back under 5%,

then you turn it back on.

So they'd cut off the spigot
of immigration at 15%,

let it go back to 5%,
turn it back on.

And then the idea that once
the Italians and the Irish

and the other nationalities
assimilate,

they'll open it back up again,
which is what they did.

They just solved it.
They discovered penicillin,

which wiped out a lot of stuff,
including syphilis.

What did we discover?
New anti-anxiety drugs,

which I predict will
not be still in use

in the next century.

In other words,
they're having a good time.

Great writers -- Hemingway,
Fitzgerald, Faulkner.

Who wouldn't give
a flip about AI.

If you told Hemingway, "Hey,
AI is going to take your job,"

they would have laughed at
that idea.

Name one novelist writing today

who is guaranteed
to be read 100 years from now.

Anyway, I could go on, but...
-You probably shouldn't, though.

-I have to, though, because I
just thought of something else.

Airlines were started
that still exist today.

I would have been happy
in the '20s.

Everybody had a job.
Everybody was making money.

Yes, it fell apart in 1929
right at the end.

But that doesn't take
away the years

when everybody was grooving.

We could all buy a car.

And yes,
there were no interstates.

But is that such a bad thing?

We would have to travel
on highways

that went down
the main streets of cities.

Interstates destroyed many
of those cities.

All right, I just think it was
an optimistic time.

The Harlem Renaissance,

great explosion of black art,
black culture.

Everybody's dancing.
That's my only point.

How come we're much
more gloomy and pessimistic

100 years later?

They started
building the Hoover Dam.

Built it in five years,
on time, under budget.

We can't even build
a high speed rail line from LA

to San Francisco, a relatively
short distance, in 25 years.

And that's the most
optimistic projection of it.

We invented railroads!

We built the Continental
Railroad in six years!

It's called
the Continental Railroad

because it goes
across the whole continent!

-You alright?

-Do you have a way
to connect this to the movie?

-Yes, of course I do.
-I don't think you do.

-Let me think about it, though.

All right, bottom line,
we got lazy and whiny

somehow in
the past hundred years.

-Okay, what does
that have to do with "Opera"?

-I'm not sure,
but I'll figure it out.

-Okay.
-What have here, though,

is the sensitive story
of a beautiful,

young opera singer named Betty

who lands the lead role
in Verdi's Macbeth --

Just keep going.

-In the Scottish play
after the diva who's

scheduled to sing it is plowed
down by a car.

Except taking the gig
brings Betty to the attention

of a mysterious figure
who starts murdering

everybody around her.

Plus, he ties her up
while he's doing it

and forces her to watch
by taping needles to her eyelids

so that if she closes her eyes,
she gets stabbed in the eyeball.

Sure, we've seen it before,

but have we seen it
with vigilante ravens gouging

out eyeballs to exact vengeance?
I think not.

Let's take a look at
those drive in totals.

We have eight dead bodies.

I'm not counting invisible
bodies described in flashbacks.

Multiple dead ravens or crows.
I'm not sure what they are.

Two breasts.
Coat hook impalement.

Opera singer bondage.

Repeated eyelid needle torture.
Dagger to the neck.

Strangulation.
Scissors to the chest.

One bullet through the peephole.

One angry diva.
One motor vehicle accident.

One case of stage fright.
Air vent lurking.

Costume mutilation.
Bracelet swallowing.

Vengeance seeking
ravens or crows.

I'm not sure. Eyeball rolls.
Mommy issues.

Self-immolation.
One run down the Alps.

One flying tackle.
Rock to the head.

One crawl through the flowers.

Gratuitous Verdi gratuitous
backstage chaos.

Iron fu, Raven fu.

Drive In Academy Award
nominations for Ian Charleson

as Marco,
the horror film director

who wants to transition
to directing opera for saying,

"I always jerk off
before I shoot a scene."

Urbano Barberini for devising
the eyelid needle torture.

And Cristina Marsillach
as the tormented ingenue

who says, "Whenever a woman
has a problem,

men always presume it's love,"

and, "I am nothing like
my mother."

Three and a half stars.
Joe Bob says check it out.

You know, the other thing
I would love

about the 1920s?

My mind is just going crazy
over the 1920s.

People answered
their damn phone.

You had to because
you didn't know who was calling.

And sometimes you answered
somebody else's phone

because you were
on a party line.

You shared the line
with a neighbor.

You think carrying a phone
around all the time

has made life better or worse?

-It's made life complicated,
but better in a lot of ways,

but actually also worse
than a lot of ways.

Actually, I can see both sides.
I don't know.

-I think it's worse.
-Okay.

-The only person I have known in
the last 15 years

who still answered his phone was
a guy named Jack Limpert.

He was the editor
of the Washingtonianmagazine.

I used to write for
the Washingtonian,

big magazine,
and he was the editor.

And you'd call his office
and he'd say, "Hey, it's Jack."

Without knowing who's calling.
Who would do that now?

-Nobody.
-I mean, exactly.

Jack just died, bless his heart.

He just died last September.

So now there's nobody.
He was the last guy.

Everybody checks the caller ID
and then thinks about it

for a while, right?

-Or never gives out
the number in the first place.

-Or never gives
out the number.

Besides, you're
not really carrying a phone.

You're carrying a computer.

I don't really want to carry
a computer.

-I do.

-It's constantly telling me
stuff I don't need to know.

-Like what?

-The exact time.

I don't need to know that.
The exact temperature.

I don't need to know
how much I paid for bourbon

at the liquor store,

where somebody saw
Bruno Mars on the street.

Don't need to know any of it.

Your phone,
though, I have seen that.

I have seen the face
of your phone on a normal day

when it just scrolls endlessly.

You've got tens of thousands
of messages on your phone.

-I actually do.
-And I believe

that somehow you
can actually read those.

-Oh, yeah, let's say yes.

-So maybe the world
has advanced in 100 years.

Maybe this is the answer.

The brain has been trained
to work at hyper speed,

but only in people who are wired
for social media like yourself.

-Guilty.

-You truly should enter
a cellphone agility contest.

You would smoke the opposition.

You could read "War and Peace"
in like 20 minutes.

-I mean, honestly, yeah.

-How are we doing
back there in the makeup room?

-Oh, we're building up
the makeup.

Slime always goes on right
before he's in front of camera,

so we'll save that for
when the mask comes off

for the big reveal.

-No. I can't concentrate.

Please. maestro, I'm sorry,
but I can't carry on like this.

-Let's take it from number 37.

-Oh, my God! No, no.

Maestro, please, let's take it
from

-Stop it! Stop, stop!

I can't stand it anymore.
It's ridiculous!

-Poor thing, are you hurt?

-It's ridiculous!

This is "Macbeth"
by Giuseppe Verdi.

I've never seen such
lousy direction.

-We have a problem?
-Yes, you!

This isn't one of
your crumby movies.

Birds on stage, back
projection, laser beams.

What is this, an opera
or an amusement park?

I have to sing!

How can I do that with a
raven on stage that hates me!

-I can't imagine
why it should hate you, Mara.

-Neither can I!

But, it never takes its
beady eyes off of me.

It shrieks, whistles,
flaps its wings,

it's deliberately
destroying my performance.

-It's just a bird.
-Yes, and birds

should be with other birds,

and not in the opera
singing "Macbeth."

Where's the manager?
Where's Baddini?

-I'm here, Mara.
-I'm going back to the hotel.

-Come on, Mara, please
don't be like that.

-Stop it.
I rest till 7:00.

I should be ready
to sing at 8:00.

Ready to sing, without
ravens or any other nonsense.

A real opera.

-So, what do we do now?

-Oh, carry on
with the rehearsal.

If something like
this, happens again,

I'll take my ravens and leave.
-Okay, okay.

Maestro. Maestro,
please, please.

We'll take it from the.

-Thanks to you and
your so called brilliant

and original direction.

-Ladies and gentlemen!

The great Mara Czekova has
been knocked out by a car.

Shit.

-Is she badly hurt?
-Quickly,

someone call an
ambulance, hurry.

-Hell, what a disaster.
-What are we going to do?

-Hello?

-Is that you, Betty?
-Yes.

-Tonight you make your debut
as Lady Macbeth.

-What?
-Are you happy?

-Who's speaking?

Is this a joke?

Hello?

Hello?

Mira.

-Come on, Betty.
Come on, get ready.

In exactly one hour,
you've got to be on stage.

Madam Czekova has
had an accident. Here.

-Someone already called.
I thought it was a joke.

-Why are you crying? Are you
scared of making your debut?

-No. But Lady Macbeth?

I'm too young, my
voice isn't right.

-You'll be a smash
hit. A baby lady.

-I'm afraid I won't
reach some of the notes.

-Oh, trust me Betty,

I'm not only your agent,
I'm your friend,

I know what you're
going through.

Just opening night nerves.

Don't let them show. Now,
they're all coming to see you.

Betty Nemiro-mac, don't show
them how unconfident you are.

Okay? Right.
-Stop!

Well, my dear
Betty. Are we ready?

Mara's unfortunate
little accident

is going to speed you
towards your destiny.

Tonight, you will make your
debut in Verdi's "Macbeth."

Do I see tears? Tears
of happiness, I hope.

Don't tell me you're
afraid. Afraid you'll fail?

-I'm too young for the role.

-Oh, Verdi's first Lady Macbeth
was only 17.

Anyway, you know
the opera by heart.

I watched you at all
rehearsals working so hard.

Preparing yourself, as though,

as though you were the star
and not the understudy.

Don't worry about the orchestra.

They'll only need half
an hour's rehearsal.

-Excellent.

-Come on, stop it.
This is your big chance.

-I know.

-Think of your mother.

Think how happy and proud she
would have been to see you

in a great opera,
following her career.

And, if people like you,

next day you'll sing in
New York and Salzburg.

-What happened to Mara?

-She got hit by a car,
or so I heard.

-Ah, you were listening

to Brokofsky's
recording of Macbeth.

Did you know it was
a production of ours?

1975.
-Yes.

It's the opera. "Macbeth"
brings bad luck.

-What are you talking about?

-Everyone says it.

"Macbeth" brings bad luck.

It's a great opera,

but I would much rather make
my debut in something else.

-Don't let Baddini
hear you say that.

-It's true.
-Shut up.

-So, you think this opera
brings bad luck, huh?

-I don't know, it's
what everyone says.

-Well, I don't say it.

Look, you have a wonderful
voice, you're very beautiful,

and you're making your
debut in a great theater.

You must make the most
of this opportunity.

It usually only happens, to
people in the movies, eh?

Mm-hmm. Don't throw it away.

-Yeah.

-Five, four, three, two, one.

Now.

Let them through,
let them through.

-There's too much smoke.

There's too much smoke.

-Dino, Dino, cut the
smoke. Cut the smoke.

Wait a second.

No, no, no. The scar, it
should be on the other side.

-Betty goes on in
another two minutes.

-Okay, two minutes for Betty.

-She's got two minutes.
-Two minutes. Two.

-Oh, what are you doing?
-Leave it. Just leave it.

Put it in the center.

No, no, no, no.

-No, no! Wrong way.

-Standing by, please.

-Leave it to me.

-You like this.
-Leave it!

-Count, one, two,
three and then go on!

-Be careful. Be
careful not to ruin the costume.

-You finally returned.

-What are you doing here?
You're not allowed in here.

This box is for stage personnel
only. Come on, let's go.

What the hell do you --

-Stay where you
are, keep your positions.

-Don't move.

It was an accident,
nothing more.

Okay?
-Just one minute.

Okay, Maestro.

-Bravo! Bravo!

-Betty! Betty!

-Encore! Encore!

- Well done, Betty.
- You're so beautiful.

-That's enough, Mara.
Don't be childish.

You're a star.

-You really think so?

-Didn't you hear the applause?
-Bravo.

-You're wonderful. Wonderful.

-Betty, my sincerest
compliments.

You were sensational.
-Thank you.

-There'll be a first
night party later on.

-Thank you.

-Betty, you were magnificent.

-Thank you, Maestro.
-Will you be at the reception?

-Yes.
-The press will love it.

-You still believe
this opera is unlucky?

-The press are here.

-What about the
accident, with the lights?

The shouting and the screaming.

-What shouting and screaming?

-You didn't hear it?
-No.

-It came from one of the boxes.

-Betty.
-Oh, Mark.

Mark wasn't she great?

-I know we've had
some trouble, but uh,

you know, it's got nothing
to do with "Macbeth"?

The only bad luck Macbeth
has brought you is fame.

-I know. My mother
was a singer.

-Better run along. People
will be waiting for you.

-Fantastic!

I mean it, I mean it, Betty.
You were just fantastic.

You were great. Oh, I just love
Verdi's music, I really do.

Oh, God, you were
wonderful, just wonderful.

Just that damn, damn director.

I can't take him
anymore, it's just...

-Julia?

You work here in the theater?

-Uh, no. Excuse me.

-Ah, you're a fan of mine.

-Yes.
-The first.

-First what?
-Fan.

-Congratulations.
-Thank you.

-You were wonderful.

-Do you want an autograph?

-Alright, excuse me, madame.

-Oh, yeah, I'd like
that. Thank you.

-Excuse me.

-What name shall I...
-Excuse me.

-Allen.

-Allen?
-Mm-hmm.

Thank you.
-Are you a foreigner?

-Oh, no, but...

-Everything is
ready, inspector.

And, they're all
waiting for you.

-Okay.
-So, you are a policeman,

not a fan.

-Can't a policeman
be a fan? It's just...

Well I mean, I'm not an
expert on opera, but...

Your voice is...

Thanks for the autograph.

-Yes?

-Hi.
-Hi.

-What did the cop want?
-My autograph.

Why is he here?

-Oh, who knows.

Oh, maybe because of the
accident with the lights.

One of the stage hands died.

-What!
-Yeah, it's pretty weird.

Oh, leave your costume there.

Mark, um -- Mark says it
needs a few alterations.

-Listen, I don't want
to go to the party alone,

would you feel like taking me?

Please?
-Yeah, sure. Oh, I'd love to.

Oh, I almost forgot.
You were great tonight.

And, um, looks like I'm the
last one to congratulate you.

So, you think it'd be
okay if I had a kiss?

Even if I'm only
the stage manager?

What do you say?

-Did you really
like me? Really?

-Like you? I loved you.

-From the great Mara Czekova.

With her best wishes.

-Thank you.

-Well, the great Mara Czekova
can say

she was literally struck
by the curse of Macbeth.

-Good luck, little snake.

Oh, can certainly
feel her sting, there.

Looks expensive.

Oh!

-What do you think it is?

-Who knows.

Frog slime? Acid, poison?

Hey, what's wrong? What's wrong?

Oh, you idiot!

Yuck,.

Czekova, would
bathe in that stuff.

-Well, it's obviously
not your great grandfather's

"Phantom of the Opera",
is it?

Um, one thing about
this movie, though,

before we talk about it,
the cinematography.

I think it defines
the word "lush."

The images in this film
have such a deep,

permeating color that,

seriously, I would have sex
with the 35 millimeter negative.

So anyway,
that is Ronnie Taylor,

the guy who ran the camera
department for "Gandhi"

and won the Oscar for "Gandhi."

He also shot "Barry Lyndon"
for Stanley Kubrick.

He shot
"The Empire Strikes Back."

He has two other Phantom movies.

He shot
"Phantom of the" Paradise.

He shot "Popcorn",

which was very popular
when we had it on the show.

He had started his career
in London on horror flicks.

He worked on Ken Russell's
"The Devils."

Worked on "Theatre of Blood"
with Vincent Price.

But at this point
in his illustrious career,

what was he doing
on an Argento film?

Working for a man

who's notorious for overriding
the director of photography?

And the answer is that
by sheer chance,

they were both hired
to work on the same shoot,

which was a fancy commercial
in Australia

for the Fiat Croma family sedan.

And during the four weeks
that they spent together,

Argento was really impressed
by Taylor's experiments

with this camera that could
move in and out of a moving car

as it raced across
the Australian outback,

so they developed enough
of a relationship

that Argento asked Taylor
to shoot "Opera".

And for the first time
in his life,

Argento did not
constantly overrule

the director of photography

or yell at him for taking 10
extra minutes to move a light,

and part of the reason was that
Argento's English was terrible.

So Argento hired
a camera operator named

Antonio Scaramuzza,
mainly because he spoke English

and he could help
the two men communicate,

and the whole film was shot
in Super Techniscope,

often using two cameras.

Now, I never really
understood Super Techniscope.

All it is, is you use a little
bit more of the film stock,

you take part of the soundtrack
on the film,

and you use it for a very
slightly wider image.

So -- but if you have
the opportunity,

I hope you are watching
this movie on letterbox,

because they do get kind of
a dizzy effect out of it.

Anyway, Darcy.
-Yes?

-Um, let's check in on Shane
and our makeup victim.

-Okay.
-Hey, Shane.

Looks like you've
been building a mask.

-Oh, yes.

So for the big reveal,
I did a combo of

the Masque of the Red Death and
Chaney's Heidi face mask.

And I think it's the best
of both worlds.

-All right. Are you done?

-I haven't even started
painting.

I'm getting to
my weird gloopy --

This is where I'm adding my
own kind of edge to this thing.

-Okay, excellent.

Will we get to rip off the mask
and be horrified?

-Yes.
It is going to be horrifying.

You will be able to rip it off

and glut your souls on the
accursed ugliness of Spencer.

-All right.

And how's your torture
victim holding up?

Spencer?
How are you doing?

-Spencer can't really
talk right now.

-Mm. Mmm.
-All right.

Shane, we totally trust you
to redefine ugly

for all future generations.

-No pressure.

-Oh, it's a tall order,
but I'm at it.

-All right,
before we go back to the movie,

I wanted to take note of

why Argento is using
this particular opera

as his opera
instead of Rigoletto,

since Rigoletto would
have been a bigger middle finger

for the opera festival.

And the reason is
that this play and opera

does have a reputation
for bringing bad luck,

and it has had that reputation
for decades,

if not centuries.
And --

-Oh, do you mean --
-No, no, no, no, no, no.

-Don't say it.

I think I said it in the intro,
and I didn't mean to.

We will not say the name
of that opera on this show.

-Because you're superstitious.
-It's been proven many times.

If you are putting on
the play about the three witches

that tell this dude that he's
going to be king of Scotland,

so he and his wife
kill King Duncan,

and then he gets paranoid,

so he starts killing
other people,

and then he kills Banquo, and
Banquo comes back as a ghost,

and then the King of England
declares war against him,

and then his wife goes crazy

and tries to wipe
the bloodstains off her hands

while she's sleepwalking.

And then at the end, the
main dude gets his head cut off.

If you're going to put on
that play,

you must never say the name
of that play on stage.

The traditional way

to talk about it
is to say, "The Scottish play."

-Wow, you really are
superstitious.

-Remember when -- you remember

when Will Smith bitch slapped
Chris Rock at the Oscars?

-Yeah, of course.

-Chris Rock had just said
the forbidden word on the stage

five minutes before that.

-He did not.
-He did! Yeah.

He congratulated
Denzel Washington on his

performance
in the Scottish play.

-No way.
-But he just...

He did not say,
"The Scottish play."

He just went for it.

And one reason
that play is cursed

is that, as Shakespeare plays
go, everybody loves the play,

but it's the most expensive one
to produce.

So theaters try to do it,
and they go bankrupt.

And there's been lots
of deaths associated with it.

In 1947, this English actor was
killed on stage

during the sword fight scene.

It was a regional theater.

It wasn't the Royal Shakespeare
Company or anything,

but still, you know.

But some guy committed suicide
during a national broadcast

of the Scottish play at
the Metropolitan Opera in 1988.

He was a frustrated,
unemployed opera singer.

He jumped off the balcony
during the performance.

And also, have you heard of
the Astor Place riot?

-I don't think so.
-Man.

In 1849,
people in the audience

started arguing
over who was the better actor

in the Scottish play,

the Englishman William Macready
or the American Edwin Forrest,

and the American nativists

started fighting with
the English traditionalists.

More than 25 people died
in the street

outside the Astor Place
Opera House in New York.

-Oh, my God, that's crazy.

You can take Shakespeare
a little bit too seriously.

-No kidding.

Anyway, we're getting
way too close to saying the name

of the play
the opera is based on

that we're using
in the movie "Opera".

So let's just get back to
the movie.

Roll the Super Techniscope film.

And actually stuff did
happen on the set of the movie.

Um, Ian Charleson, the guy
who plays Marco, the director,

he said he was doing
an impression of Argento

to play that role.

And Argento got upset
when he said that.

Anyway, Ian Charleson was
a big star at the time,

ever since the movie
"Chariots of Fire."

Um, and he had a day off
on the set,

and he went driving
in the Italian countryside,

and he was English, so he drove
on the wrong side of the road,

and he had a pretty bad crash.

Almost a head on crash.

And he got his leg broken.

-Wow.

-And he missed some days
of shooting, and, you know,

because of the Scottish play.

-I feel like you're
going to forget and just say it.

-No way.
I'm not going to forget.

-Sometime tonight,
you are absolutely going to say

the name of the play.
-Never.

And in Ian Charleson's
defense,

any American who has
ever driven a car in England

knows this is true.

You can drive on the left side.
You know, you rent the car.

You're driving on the left side.

It feels weird,
and it also feels weird

that the steering wheel is
on the right side,

and you can force your brain
to think about

how to make a right turn
against the traffic

that's coming in the left lane.

But if you ever get in
a bad situation

that requires a split
second decision,

what are you going to do?

You're going to jerk
the car to the right

into the oncoming traffic,
so I don't even try anymore.

It's too dangerous.

The English could just do
the simple thing

and change the rules of the road

to the same one used in every
other country of Europe!

And most countries in the world.
But no.

The English know better,
don't they?

-Oh, you are so going to say it.

-I want to say it.
I want to say it.

As soon as the camera is off,
I'm going to say it

because my brain is pulsing
like that animated brain

in the movie,
daring me to say it.

Why is the camera still on?
I need to say it.

-They want you to say it.
-No.

So the whole light grid
can fall on us.

Is that why? Is that why
they're still running?

-Freak you out for the rest
of the night.

-They're not that cruel.
They wouldn't do that.

-All right, we can pretend.

-Filthy damn birds.

-I'm sorry, I can't.

It's not your fault.

I'm a disaster in bed.
I don't know why.

I'm sorry.

-According to the legend,

opera singers are
incredibly horny.

No, really.

They say, they make love
before they go out on stage,

and that way it sort
of relaxes their voice.

You know, sweetens
it up a little.

-Either I'm a lousy
opera singer, or...

Have I offended you?
-No.

No, I mean.

I mean, now that you're famous,

it seems like things are a
little bit different between us.

-No. Don't say that.
It's not true.

What a place.
It looks like a museum.

-It sort of is.

I've got a rich uncle.
It's his place.

Um, he's stinking rich,

and he lets me use it
whenever I need it.

Want some tea?
-Yes, please.

-All right, I've got
rose, jasmine, or mint.

-Jasmine.
-Jasmine, okay.

-No! Mint!

-Take a good look.

If you try to close your eyes,

you'll tear them apart.

So, you'll just have
to watch everything.

-Betty!
Why did you lock it?

Are you feeling okay?

What the hell is going on?

No, no, no.

No, no, no!

No, no, no!

♪ Love turns out ♪

♪ Smoke is in,
you're living loud ♪

♪ So why don't you deny it ♪

♪ We can do it all together ♪

♪ But we can do it alone ♪

-It's not true, you're frigid.

You're a bitch in heat.

♪ I can do it Sunday night ♪

♪ Let me show you how ♪

♪ His lawyers made
a law petition ♪

♪ You weren't strong ♪

♪ Burning in the night ♪

♪ It's murder ♪

-Hello?

-There's been a murder.
At 66 Viale Pegaso.

-Who's speaking?

-My God. Look what
success has done to you.

Come on, I'm gonna
get the papers.

I want to read the reviews.

Well...

Something wrong with your eyes?

Stage lights?

-Yes, the lights.
-Come on, what lights?

-Okay, it
wasn't the lights.

How do you turn on the heating?

-Here, here.

-Thanks.

-How bad was it?
-I can't tell you.

It was so...

I can't tell you.

-Trouble in love?

-Love? What love?

Whenever, a woman has a problem,
men always presume it's love.

-Well, you know, you sopranos
are famous for, um...

-Whoring around?

-Now wait a minute.
Wait a minute.

-Look.

Look, I've already heard
that story tonight.

Some people, think
that we make love

just before going on stage,
to improve the voice.

Wrong.

As far as I am
concerned, anyway.

Totally wrong.

-You mean you've
never made love?

-Well, of course I have.

It's just...
It's never worked.

Anyway, you also work in movies.

And, you movie people are
legendary, when it comes to...

It's true.

I always jerk off
before I shoot a scene.

Come on. You have to talk
about it, sooner or later.

-And then I ran away, and,
that's when I found you.

The strangest thing about
what happened tonight,

all the terrible
things that I saw

are from a nightmare
I used to have as a child.

I used to dream of a man
wearing a black hood.

Tonight, I saw that same hood.

-You said you
called the police.

-Yes.
-Did you give your name?

-No.

-Told me everything?

-About what happened
tonight? Yes.

-Why? There's more, right?

I'll check the other rooms.

Have you got a boyfriend?

-No.

-Someone who might get jealous?

-No. Not that I know of, why?

-There's someone in the street,

watching your windows
with binoculars.

-Where?
-Come and see.

Ah, he's gone.

He was there, under
the street lamp.

I could stay if you want me to.

-Don't you have
someone waiting for you?

-Yes.

-She's probably having a fit
because you're not home yet.

I'll lock myself
in, don't worry.

-Make sure you lock
all the windows.

I'll look around in the street.

If I see anything
suspicious, I'll phone you.

If not, I'll see you tomorrow.

What is it?

-There is someone out there.
A woman and...

Who is there?

Who are you?

-Who do you think I am?
I live here.

I'm one of your neighbors.

-Who was that man?
Was he looking for me?

-No.

It's nothing.
I told you, nothing.

-Who do you think she is?

-A neighbor, like she said.

Put the chain on.
-All right.

-Don't want to
lose another star.

-Who is it?

Who's there?

Who's there?

Hello?

Is that you, Mark?

Mark, is that you?

Oh, my God.

Why did I sing that role?
I shouldn't have.

Shouldn't have.

It was my fault.

Why, why did I do it?

-Don't cry, Betty. Don't cry.

-Well, you can't
watch that scene

with the needles taped
to the eyes

without thinking about
the Ludovico technique

in "A Clockwork Orange", right?

-True.

-Dario Argento said he did that
because he doesn't like people

in theaters averting their eyes
from scenes of violence

or burying their head
in their hands.

He says he spends a lot of time
on the imagery

and the gore scenes,
and he wants people to watch it.

So that's partly why so much
violence in an Argento film

is sudden and unexpected.

You don't have time to avoid it.

This movie has a lot of eyeballs
in it,

a lot of close ups of eyes,
a lot of eye injuries.

So you have to think it's about
seeing things that hurt us.

Um, remember
when we had the shard of wood

go through the eyeball
in "Zombie"?

-Of course.
Highlight of the film.

-There's something
about damage

to the eyes that is
more frightening than, say,

a machete to the chest
or something.

-Agreed.
-I can't imagine you

ever averting your eyes
from gore?

I can't either.

-So a lot of people
ask the question,

just how stupid is Betty?

Uh, she doesn't seem
to do anything.

She just lets things happen
to her.

She can't even summon the police
after witnessing the brutal,

messy murder of her boyfriend,

which doesn't seem to bother
her that much, by the way.

And by the way,

that was William McNamara
as her boyfriend,

who became a hero recently

when he saved all the animals
in the California fires.

He saved like 100 animals.

He was out there saving
horses and dogs and cats.

-I know.
-Every kind of animal.

William McNamara.
-Whoo!

-So yeah, kudos to him.

Anyway, Betty, though,
on the other hand,

unlike William McNamara,

kind of wanders around
the rainy streets like a zombie.

What do you think of Betty
in the movie?

-Well,
she is no William McNamara.

-Okay, that actress is
Cristina Marsillach,

and Argento did not like her,
and she did not like him.

He considered her
an entitled bitch,

and she considered him a cruel,

cold puppet master
who didn't like actors.

I actually think
both descriptions are

probably accurate.

Um. Argento has admitted
that he does not like actors.

He doesn't give him
any direction,

and the only time
he talks about their performance

is when he thinks something is
wrong with their performance.

He's not an "attaboy"
kind of dude, you know?

And she was primarily a model,

even though she came from a
famous acting family in Madrid.

She had worked opposite
Tom Hanks in the movie

"Every Time We Say Goodbye",

which was a low budget
Israeli film

that was a huge box office bomb.

But on set,

she kept asking Argento
to discuss the psychology

of her character,
and he kept putting her off,

telling her she was doing
what he wanted

without having any motivation.

He wanted her to have
no motivation.

Apparently, he wanted
her to come across

as having no will of her own,

just being shuttled around
by whatever happened to her.

And meanwhile,
she was alienating the crew

and some of the other actors

because she refused
to do breast nudity

in the scene we just watched
with her boyfriend,

with William McNamara.

-What was she thinking?

-That's why his arms are
at that awkward angle,

to cover up her breasts.

-I don't like that.
-And that infuriated Argento

because she was messing up
a camera shot, and she refused

to run lines with Ian Charleson
or anyone else.

She said, "I don't want to be in
a porno movie", so --

No idea why she wouldn't run
lines, though,

with another actor.

Her father was
Adolfo Marsillach,

who was a renowned actor,
playwright,

theatre director back in Spain,

and so she had grown
up backstage,

where she was treated
very well as a girl.

And I don't think she liked
getting less than star treatment

when she came
to work in this movie.

The Italians don't
really do star treatment,

especially Argento, who
considers himself the only star.

And she wasn't Argento's
first choice anyway.

When he first planned the movie,

he wanted to use
a real opera singer

and shoot at the temple of
opera, La Scala in Milan.

Um, La Scala is, I guess,

the most famous opera house
in the world, right?

-Actually, I wouldn't say so.

-No?
-No.

The Paris Opera, I think.

-Well, yeah. Okay.
I mean, what show are we doing?

Oh, yeah. Right.
-Yeah, exactly.

-Okay.

The most famous
opera house in Italy.

But they wouldn't let
him shoot there.

So he went to
the Regio Theater in Parma,

where they make Parmesan cheese.

And that theater is
also sort of famous.

It was built by the wife
of Napoleon in the 1820s,

and it was connected to
the ducal palace

so the royal personages
could walk directly

to their throne boxes.

And mainly it just looks cool,
as you can tell from the movie.

And then the opera singer
he wanted was Cecilia Gasdia,

who was in her 20s

and was really taking
the opera world by storm.

She was everywhere.

She was getting rave reviews,
and she said she'd do it.

But Argento didn't like
her teeth.

He thought her teeth were ugly,

and he asked her
to get them fixed,

and she refused
to get her teeth fixed.

So after that, he was
talking to Giorgio Armani,

and Armani said, "Hey,

I was just using this girl
on the runway in Milan.

Her name is
Cristina Marsillach.

She's Spanish,
and she's also an actress."

And so that's
how she got that job.

And I think I talked
about this before,

but the opera house is always
the most important building in

any Italian city.

And opera doesn't mean
just opera.

It's also the place

where they have
circus acts and gymnastics shows

and scientific demonstrations
and illusionists and displays

of what they used to call
curiosities,

like two headed babies
and stuff,

because they didn't have
state fairs like we do

so there was no place
for the two headed baby,

other than the opera house.

So anyway,
let's just go back to the movie.

I want to talk
about two headed babies.

Well, they also had this
thing in the 19th century.

I guess it still exists,

but they don't use
this word much anymore.

But they had funambulism.

Let's go to the funambulism show
at the opera house.

I mean, the first
three letters spell "fun".

So I would probably go.
You want to guess what it is?

-Um, acrobatics?
Contortionist?

-No. Tightrope walkers
and slack rope walkers.

Either one can be called
a funambulist.

What's harder,
a slack wire or a tight wire?

-If the slack wire sags
in the middle,

I think that one's harder.

-Agreed.

I've never seen a slack wire
at a circus, actually.

It must have died out
in the 19th century.

Today they only do
the tight wire.

-I wonder why?
-They're pussies.

-"Stormy reception
for 'Macbeth.'"

"Brilliant debut
by young singer,

who at the last moment
substituted Mara Czekova."

"Revolutionary, but crazy set.

Doubts regarding the direction.

Advice to the director,
go back to horror films.

Forget opera."

-Ha!

-Ha! They're pulling
you to pieces.

-Well, at least
it's only on paper.

-And she, a total unknown,
gets nothing but praise.

-Well, she was very good.

-Last time, when they
lauded Cecilia Gastilla,

and blasted your
direction of "Rigoletto,"

you were very pissed off.

But not this time.

How come?

You want to take the
girl to bed, don't you?

Listen, to be here
with you this evening,

I took two flights and
turned down a fashion show.

-Fragments of the same feathers

mixed with traces of blood,

were found on a carpet in
Stefano Breading's apartment.

Who was he? Your?

-Stage manager.

-Oh yes, stage manager.

Killed, or rather,
butchered last night.

Between one and two o'clock.

Who saw him last?

Hmm?

-Well, there was
a first night party.

-Huh. Did he leave alone?

-I really don't know.
I wasn't there.

-I see.
Then who did go to the party?

Did you?

-Yes, I did.
-And, what time did he leave?

-I think he left with,
Betty, our singer.

-Is Betty here?

-No, but she will be soon.
We have to rehearse.

So, if there's nothing else-

-I'm sorry,
I'm not finished yet.

You're Maurizio, right?

The one responsible
for the ravens.

-Yes.

-How many were killed?
-Three.

Inspector, I think I know
who killed the ravens.

-Who?
-Mara Czekova, she hated them.

-No, no, no, no.

Maurizio, what are you talking
about? Don't be ridiculous.

-Well, ravens
are very vindictive.

They don't forget.

They remember for
years and years,

and at the right moment, zap.

-Well, this production
of Macbeth has been hit

by so much bad luck and
so many coincidences.

It staggers the imagination.

-I don't want you to think
I'm a superstitious type.

But, it's "Macbeth"
that brings bad luck.

Everyone knows that.

I could tell you about
dozens of strange incidents.

A lot of people seriously
believe the opera to be cursed.

-I've seen a lot
of your movies.

Yes, you're really an
expert in this field.

I'd be very interested
to know your opinion.

-I think it's unwise to use
movies as guides for reality.

Don't you, inspector?

-Depends what you
mean by reality.

-Excuse me, but I've
got to fix this dress.

The next performance is
the day after tomorrow.

And, I've only got two hands.

-Even with 10 hands

the costume will still
be a pile of shit.

What?

Alright, Mr. Genius director.

I put most of the blame
for what's happening,

on our fancy pants
whimsical director here.

Who thinks Verdi was a twit

and Shakespeare a total asshole.

I'll fix the dress, all right.

But not for you,
Mr. Freaked-out director,

for Giuseppe Verdi.

-Come on, Marion.
Let's get out of here.

-All this turns
you on, doesn't it?

-What are you talking about?

-You're a sadist.

-Oh, really?

-Everyone I know who knows
you says the same thing.

-That must be very
boring for you.

-Julia?

-Oh, just the person
I wanted to see.

-What's happened to my costume?

-Look at this mess.

Someone tore it apart.
-Who cold have done it?

-I don't know, someone
who doesn't like the opera.

Or that asshole
Mark's version of it.

This time our director
O.D.'d on weird.

It isn't like the movies.

There, when you come up
with something original,

everyone congratulates you.

Oh. Oh, God.

Oh, God, what a mess.

Somehow, it's got to be mended

and since they didn't
call in the dress maker,

it's up to me.

I'm sorry, you'll have to try
it on again once I finish.

-Mm-hmm.

Hey,
we're lucky though.

Most of this junk
jewelry's still intact.

-Listen, Julia, I'll
be back in a minute.

-Okay.

-Mira, I must see
you, I'm frantic.

-Me too. My phone
hasn't stopped ringing.

Everybody wants you, everybody.

Rome, Vienna, Paris.

-Yes, that's wonderful,

but I have to talk to
you about something else.

Something really serious.

There's a maniac who's after me.

I need your advice
on what to do.

-I'll give it to
you now, Betty.

Go to the police.

-No, I can't.

I'm in terrible trouble and,
I don't know what to do.

Mira, I must see you. I must.

-Yeah, all right.
I'll come by this evening.

Betty, what have you done?

-Betty? That you?

What? Wha?

It is you.
Come here, look, come.

Hey, look what I found.

-What a bounkit?
-It's gold.

I never sewed any real
gold on this thing.

It's yours.

-No, I never saw it before.

What? How did it
get on my costume?

-Don't know.

-Maybe whoever ripped
up the dress dropped it.

-Give me that.

It looks like there's
a date on it,

and -- and an inscription.

-A name? Let me see.

-Oh, the writing's tiny,

the letters have
almost faded away.

I've got a magnifying
glass, somewhere.

I'm sure I have.

Ah, it should be in --
oh, damn.

It should be here.
Ah, got it.

-Any luck?
-No!

Where did I see it?
I'm positive I saw it.

Wait, um, it is in here.

Oh! Where is it?

What happened? Betty?

-I'm all right, don't worry.

-It's got to be in here,
because I saw it in the drawer.

Hey, listen.
You keep on looking here.

I'll check the ironing room.

I found it!

-I found it.

Weird choice last
night, you whore.

You are perceived
as an old whore.

-There's a date!

Oh!
It's an anniversary I guess.

Where have you --

Oh, my God!

Here. Is this what you want?

Is this what you want?

Here, have it!

Ah, you bastard!

-No, no, no!

Oh.

It's, it's --

♪ There is no escape ♪

♪ You are slowly losing ♪

♪ There is no escape ♪

♪ There is no escape ♪

♪ I'm determined
to hunt you clear ♪

♪ There is no ♪

♪ No, no, it's too late ♪

♪ It is too late ♪

♪ There is no escape ♪

♪ There is no escape ♪

♪ It's too late ♪

♪ It's too late ♪

-I can take you whenever

and wherever I want.

♪ There's no escape here ♪

♪ It's too late ♪

-Hi there.
-Hi.

Let go of me.

Leave me alone.

-These marks, who
did this to you?

Is this another manifestation
of the curse of "Macbeth"?

Or did it happen last night?

So it did happen last night.

-Yes.

-Why didn't you tell me?

-Because it was
worse than anything

I could ever have imagined.

I just wanted to forget,
cancel it from my mind.

Not see anything,
not feel anything.

Not think anything.

I just wanted to get away.

-I understand
what you're saying.

Listen, I'm here to help you,

not to persecute you.

And, I promise,

we'll do everything we
can to catch this man.

But I need your collaboration.

-I don't know
what he looks like.

He ties me up, touches me.

Makes me watch,

but he never lets
me see his face.

This afternoon, at the theater,

he killed Julia,
the wardrobe mistress.

-Christ. I'd better
get over there.

-No, please.

-Don't worry, we'll get
to the bottom of this.

I'll be back.

-Don't leave me alone.
I'm afraid.

-All right, calm down.

Now, go upstairs
and lock yourself in.

Wait for my assistant,
Daniele Soave.

-All right.

-Remember, Daniele Soave.

-Do you ever get
the impression

that Dario Argento
is just screwing with us?

He's putting in just enough plot
to do the next gory set piece.

You know, he doesn't
really care about telling

any kind of story at all.

This movie has more holes than a
bisexual orgy in a gopher field.

And what's the deal with giving
the women all the same name,

you know?

-Mira, Mara, Maria, Marian.

That's the opposite of
what you normally do in a movie.

You give everybody
a distinctive name

so you don't get them mixed up.

Is that some signal that
all the women surrounding Betty

are just interchangeable
victims?

-Maybe.
-You know the scene with

Marco, the director, hearing all
the bad reviews read to him

by the sarcastic girlfriend.

You know,
go back to your horror movies.

The girlfriend is played
by Antonella Vitali as Marion,

who was Argento's
girlfriend in real life.

Um, Mira, the agent is played
by Dario Nicolodi,

his girlfriend of 15 years

that he was no longer with
when this movie was made.

So Antonella Vitali was
another model

that Argento had met in Milan
through Giorgio Armani.

Um, she was a horror lover,

unlike many of the actors
hired for Argento's films.

And so she eagerly started
a relationship with him,

and she was honored to be given
the small part in the film.

And she had a sort of
weird impact on the future.

She wanted to start
a dress shop in Rome,

and so Argento leased
a place for her,

and then when they broke up,

she was no longer interested
in that shop.

So Argento turned that

into the famous
Profondo Rosso horror store,

which I've never been to.
-Shut up!

-But you, Darcy,
spent time there, right?

-I have. Yeah.

-And so if Antonella Vitali
had not wanted to sell dresses,

there would never have been
the Profondo Rosso store,

where when you check out,

you usually check out with
Italian director Luigi Cozzi,

who who made "Contamination",
which we had on the show.

-Yeah, we did.
-Wrote a number of films for

Argento and others
did a lot of second unit work.

Does Luigi provide service
with a smile when you go there?

-He does actually.
He's very friendly.

-Okay.

-I think it's time again to
check in with our own

Shane Morton,
wizard of special effects,

who's creating the
ugliest makeup in the history

of the world
on our celebrity model,

Spencer Charnas.

Shane, you don't have
much time left.

-I know. It's really down
to the wire here.

But things are looking gloopy.

-Do you feel the ghost
of Lon Chaney inspiring you?

-Yes, I do.

I think these stages
are actually haunted.

-What about you, Spencer?

Are you feeling
any supernatural vibes?

-Mm-hmm. Mm.

-Okay. I'll accept that.

We'll check back with you later.

Oh, my God. All right.

That was
Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni.

Coralina Cataldi-Tassoni.

-Nailed it.
-The worst name ever.

As Julia, the costume designer.

She also worked as an
assistant director on the film.

But many of you
will remember her from her role

as Sally in "Demons 2".

She was Italian,
but she was born in New York.

She was an operatic singer
herself.

Her father had
small opera companies

in both New York and Rome,

and all she said about
the movie was,

"I was extremely honored
to get killed."

-Aw.
-She loved Argento,

and she was a very good sport
about that tracheotomy scene

where the the killer rips
the bracelet out of her throat,

which that means at some point,
Argento had to say,

"What if she accidentally
swallowed the jewelry

and then the killer cuts it
out of her throat

before she can digest it?"

I mean,
he thinks of stuff like that.

Did the kill scene need
that additional moment

of the bracelet
going into the throat?

Am I missing something, Darcy?

Is there some plot point
that requires

that in the movie?

-No, I just think
he thought it would look cool.

And he was right.

-That's why I say
he's always messing with us.

Dario Argento was born
into a showbiz family.

His father was a film producer.

His mother was a glamour
photographer for famous women

like Sophia Loren,
Gina Lollobrigida, Anita Ekberg.

And he claims
that when he was 4 years old,

the family took him
to see Hamlet,

and when he saw the ghost
of Hamlet's father,

he went into convulsions.

Now, like most Argento stories,

that does not seem
plausible to me.

He also said, for example,

that he hated this movie
so much he had to leave Rome

to avoid a nervous breakdown.

But then I've seen
other interviews where he says,

"Oh, that's my favorite movie,"
so we'll never know.

So let's just get back to
the flick.

I think Dario Argento is
an acquired taste.

-Agreed.

-Uh, the Argento worship has
kind of gotten out of control.

People ignore all the mistakes,

and they exaggerate the triumphs
like he's the horror god.

-I feel like they do that
with a lot of folks.

-Yeah, they do it with
John Carpenter.

They do it with
Alfred Hitchcock.

He made some lame movies.

-Horror fans, they just
really want

their directors to be heroes.

-True.
More than any other genre.

I know you love Wes Craven.

-I -- of course, no question.

-But in 1984, for example,

he released two movies that
year, "Nightmare on Elm Street",

one of the greatest horror
flicks ever made,

and "The Hills Have Eyes
Part 2 ",

one of the worst horror
flicks ever made,

in the same year.

-It was not that bad.

-It was that bad!
-It was not that bad.

-My point is,
you can have a bad day.

It's all right to say that.
Film making is messy.

Film making is subject
to a lot of outside forces

that can't be controlled,

but people prefer to think of it
as something

that only geniuses do,
especially horror geniuses.

And also a lot of those Italian
films were just really cheesy.

True.

-Who is it?

-This is Daniele Soave.

Did the inspector tell
you that I'd be coming?

-Yes, he did.

-Good evening. May I come in?

-Yes, of course, please.

Don't worry about me.

My eyes hurt so I put
some drops in them.

-It's okay
if I take a look around?

-Yeah. Go ahead.

Just give me a minute,
and I'll be right with you.

-Are you nervous?

-A little. No, a lot.

-Well, I'm here now,
so you can relax.

-I will, thank you. I have
a great system for relaxing.

-You are feeling very calm.

Calm and relaxed.

Concentrate only on the music.

-Only on the music.

-Breathe deeply.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

-Did you call, Miss?

-No, I'm listening to a tape.

-Oh, well, if you need me.

-I'll get it.

-You expecting someone?

-Yes, a friend.

-Check who it
is before opening the door.

-Of course, but
I know it's her.

Is that you, Mira?

It's her.

-I read the papers,
how terrible.

-And getting worse.
Keep your voice down.

-Is someone here?
-Yes!

Vienna and Paris!

Mira, the killer killed
again this afternoon.

Julia, the wardrobe
mistress. I was there.

-Now I understand why the police
are keeping an eye on you.

-Who told you that?
-What?

-That the police are
keeping an eye on me.

-The officer
downstairs, in the hall.

He asked me who I was,
where I was going.

His name is, Soave.

-Daniele Soave?

-Yeah, that's right.

-But, he's in the living room.

-Who's in the living room?
You're not making sense.

-Come.

-Then who is he, Betty?

-I don't know.

-He could be the maniac.

-He's gone. He was in there.

-Call the police,
call the police.

-The phone's over there!
I'm too scared to go in.

He may be hiding, waiting.

-Let's get out of here.

Wait, what if this one is real,

and the one downstairs
is a maniac?

We'd walk right into him.

-And what if it's
the other way around?

-I have no desire to
find out either way.

-You're right.

I didn't even get
a good look at him.

-Oh, no!

-The kitchen.
It's a heavy door.

And, knives. We can
defend ourselves.

I'd like to see him
get in here now.

We can always scream.

You're a singer, you
can scream the roof off.

-This building is ancient,
the walls are three feet thick.

No one will hear a thing.

Yes?

Right. All right, right away.

-Open the door.

It's me, Daniele Soave.
-Betty, he's out there!

-Come on open it, the maniac's
in the apartment. Quickly!

-Why should I trust you?
You could be the maniac!

-I'm a cop, damn it.
I'll show you my identification.

Here, look. Can you see it?

-No, no I can't.

-Wait a second. There
now you can see it.

-Anyone could get one
of those, it's a fake.

-No, I'm part
of the state government,

now let me in.

-No, you're fooling me.
Go away, go away!

-Look, my gun. Police issued,
surely that's enough.

-Hey, I've seen you before.

I know you.

No, not the gun! I want
to see your face again!

-Come on, Betty.

You may as well
open the door now.

One way or another,
I'm coming in.

Betty!

-You bastard!

Son of a bitch!

You're not going to
get me, you're not!

I'll kill you!

-You are
feeling very calm.

Calm and relaxed.

Concentrate only on the music.

Breathe deeply.

One, two, three.

Four.

-Daniele Soave.
So he was the policeman.

-Betty! Betty, come on.
Come on.

Quickly, quickly climb up here.

Quickly, quickly come on.

-Where does this lead to?

-To my apartment.

-What are you doing in here?

-I discovered it.

It's the old
air-conditioning system.

I can get to any
apartment I want.

Are you angry?

-No, of course not.

-This apartment is empty.

I watch you all the time.

-Really?

-Yes, I like it when you sing.

You have a beautiful voice.

-Thank you.

-I watched
that person trying

to kill you tonight.

-Why do you come up here?

-To get
away when my parents fight.

- So they hit each other.
- Mm-hmm.

Here we are.

-Shh.

-He's gone.
You were very clever.

-You're the clever one.
You saved my life.

-Alma? Alma!

-It's my mother.

-Who are you? What
are you doing here?

-Oh, it's you.

-Mom, this is Betty.

-Hmm.
-Do you remember me?

-No I don't remember you.

-Last night, you were
outside my apartment.

Oh, right, you didn't see me.

Listen, something
terrible has happened.

-Yeah, you coming in here.

Did you let her in, Alma?

-Yes, she did.
-She's my friend.

-I have to call the police.
-Get out of here.

-But she's my friend!
-I don't care, shut up.

-Please, the phone,
where's the phone?

-Get out of here!
-Did you hear me? Get out!

-All right, all
right, I'm going.

But you call the police!

-You're so filthy! Disgusting!

-You're disgusting,
you're always naked!

-That's enough, go to your room!

-So now two more murders

that don't seem to be that
frightening to anybody involved,

except us, of course.

That bullet through
the peephole,

that was a work of art.

-Yes, it was.

-And to get that shot,

they had to pack
some explosives to the back

of Daria Nicolodi's head.

And so she for real thought
that Dario Argento, her ex,

might be trying to kill her,

and she conspired
with the special effects guy

to cut the amount
of explosives in half.

And then she told
Ronnie Taylor on camera

that she was only going to do
that once.

There would be no retakes

because if the explosive charge
went in the wrong direction,

it would go into her brain.

So Rosario Prestopino,
pretty well known makeup artist,

was the technician on that shot,
and he did agree with her

that the explosive charge
should be reduced,

but it took him five hours
to prepare the shot,

and the whole time
Argento was saying,

"Hurry up, you assholes,"
and Daria Nicolodi's

stand in thought it was
so dangerous, she refused

to work on the scene at all.

So at the same time
the explosive went off,

they fired a condom of blood
out of that peephole

straight into her eye,

and then she had to fall back
on to the floor,

no mattress, and to her left so
she wouldn't hit Ronnie Taylor,

who was holding the camera.

So no wonder she
only wanted to do that once.

And thank God they got the shot.

Okay, let's check in
with Shane again.

Hey, Shane, you do
not have any time left now.

-Correct.
-All right.

I expect you to make me pass out
when I see how ugly he is.

-I may be passing out, too.

-And, Spencer,
I expect you to pass out

when you see how ugly you are.

-Mm. Mm-hmm.

-All right.
Let's go with that.

All right, if you will recall
from the first movie,

the theme of tonight's show
is "what is ugly?"

And if you'll notice,
these are remarkably good

looking people in this movie.

You get kind of an upper class
privileged vibe from the cast,

which I suppose is
appropriate for a movie set

in the opera world.

But the way Dario Argento
deals with ugly is, he says,

"I, the filmmaker,

will now create an action
that is very, very ugly

and you will be forced
to watch it.

So well, Darcy, first of all,

you never
told me what you think is ugly.

-Oh, wow.
Um, I guess for me,

it truly is
about your inner spirit.

Honestly, like, if you are
an awful person on the inside,

then it ruins any physical
attractiveness that you have.

And I'm not even kidding.

-Well, I think a lot
of people would say

that that's how they feel.

But would they act that way

when confronted with a
physically unattractive person?

-I think so.

A person who has good thoughts,
good spirit can never be ugly.

If you have a beautiful spirit,
it shines all over you.

-And you really believe that?
-I really do.

-Okay, but you said the
original Phantom was beautiful.

-Yes.

-And he had some
pretty ugly thoughts.

I mean, he's a kidnapper.
He's a killer.

-That's true.

And that is what makes him ugly,
not the makeup.

-Okay, well, when
Shane reveals Spencer's makeup,

we won't know whether
the person has good thoughts

or bad thoughts, so it'll be a
pretty good test of your theory.

So roll the movie.

I have been at meetings

where they're deciding
who to cast in a show,

and they can be fairly brutal
in the way

that they talk about
people's looks.

-Oh, Lord, you don't got to
tell me about that.

-My theory is that everybody
thinks that they might be ugly.

Even people who are
spectacularly good looking,

and even people
who have jobs like modeling

that reward them
for their looks,

they're always wondering

if something is going to make
them ugly on any particular day.

-Those jobs are
like the worst for that.

-It's a paradox.

-Yes.

-You know, I used to go to
this dermatologist

on the Upper East Side
of New York,

and I went there -- I had
a morning appointment one time.

It was one of
those super early appointments,

like 7:30 in the morning.

And the waiting room was full

of what most people
would call beautiful women.

And I asked the dermatologist,
"Hey, what's going on here?"

And she said, "Steroid shots
making pimples disappear.

All these girls
are working today."

-You got to do what
you got to do.

-I guess so, but wow.

♪ Don't do you ♪

♪ What you can do ♪

♪ Listen to him as he
calls back to you ♪

♪ Writing my music ♪

♪ Watching you die ♪

♪ Look at you just
going anywhere ♪

♪ All you bad girls,
lay on your back ♪

♪ What was your party ♪

♪ What was your name ♪

♪ You won't regret ♪

♪ You don't reckon him dead ♪

♪ All you bad girls,
lay on your back ♪

♪ Always bad girls,
staying just for you ♪

-What are you doing here?

-Mark, did
you hear what happened?

-Yes, I phoned your apartment.

I spoke to a policeman.

I didn't think you'd come here.

-I just wanted to run.

Hide.

Everywhere scares me.

Except here.

I feel safe here.

I'll sleep in my dressing room.

-Oh, Betty.

There's gonna be a lot of noise.

The stage hands are working.

I've made a change in the show.

-What change?

-I don't want you
to worry about it.

But I've thought of a way
to identify the killer.

I don't know why I didn't
think of it before.

We have an eye witness.

And, if the maniac's in the
audience tomorrow night,

I will gut him.

-What if he doesn't come?

-Oh, he'll come.

-I'm so tired.
I just want to sleep.

-To sleep.

Perchance to dream, huh?

Ay, there's the rub.

For in that sleep of death
what dreams may come.

When we have shuffled
off this mortal coil,

must give us pause.

-Is that you, Mommy?

I just had the same nightmare

that I used to have
when I was a child.

But I can't decide
whether it's just a dream

or the memory of something
that really happened.

-What you think of it?

-Relax, everything's fine.

Don't worry, we'll
get him for you.

-But when?
-Any time now.

-Five, six, seven.

-Any time now.
-Nine, ten, 11, 12.

13, 14, 15, 16,

17, 18, 19, 20, go!

-Now!

-Is this supposed to happen?

Is this part of the plot?

-Betty!

-Told you I'd get him tonight.

-You're a genius!

-Okay, the raven attack
in the opera house

was actually based on reality.

Ravens do bear grudges against
people who mistreat them,

and they do remember the faces.

So Austrian researchers
have proven this.

I'm not sure
whether Argento knew about

the Austrian research or not.

He may have just heard the
traditional tales of vengeance

seeking ravens and crows
that are told by farmers.

At any rate, the raven
attack cost a lot of money,

and they had to
virtually dismantle

the whole opera building
in order to shoot the audience

from above and simulate
the point of view of the ravens.

They built this wooden device

that they could attach
the camera to,

but when they looked for a place
to operate it from,

that giant chandelier was
in the way.

It's actually
a famous chandelier.

And so they removed
the chandelier.

But that caused
two additional problems.

The chandelier was too big
to go through any door,

so they had to just stick it
in a corner of the opera house

and put a covering over it.

Because as you saw,
there were many shots

that showed
the whole opera house,

and they then used a hole
in the roof,

the hole where the chandelier
used to be, to stay out of sight

while they were dangling
the camera mount

and swooping it over the heads
of the audience members.

Actually terrifying the audience
because it came way too close,

came way low,
and it didn't look very sturdy.

Sergio Stivaletti, the
veteran effects guy for Argento,

built large wings and feet
for that swooping camera,

and they also used animatronic
ravens, puppet ravens,

taxidermied ravens,

motorized ravens, or actually,

when the technicians and
trainers talk about this movie,

um, they call them crows.

Now, crows are smaller
than ravens.

They're cheaper to use.

Uh, some guys say they used
ravens for close ups and crows

for long shots,
and they called them Cravens.

Hey.

-And they also used cardboard
cutouts of audience members

because they couldn't afford
enough extras

to totally fill
the Teatro di Regio.

And that's a trick

that Argento had learned
by doing a frame

by frame study of Hitchcock's
"The Man Who Knew Too Much."

If you mix in the cardboard
people with the real people,

you can't tell the difference
in a long shot.

So anyway, they used 140 cravens

and they only recovered
about 60 of them.

The rest of them
continued to live in the rafters

of the Parma Opera House,

and the ones they did capture

were trucked to the Dolomite
Mountains and released.

Um, so that's the meaning
of those early scenes

where the killer murders
a few birds.

Uh, it was the police inspector

who may look like
a very attractive man,

but the Ravens will take care
of his phantom makeup.

Uh, the idea is actually
kind of zany.

Argento is saying
that the phantom is not ugly

until his guilt is revealed.

But speaking of murder,
I hope they were crows.

Because if they were,

then we have just witnessed
a murder of crows

by a murder of crows.

And now, back to the left field
conclusion of "Opera".

-Are you proud of that?

-Well, I've just invited a lot
of mail from ornithologists.

I know.
-No doubt.

What have we just witnessed,
by the way?

-Well, a flock of crows,

what we would normally call
a flock,

is called a murder of crows.

That's the official term for it.

So this is a murder
of crows murdering.

-That's adorable.

-You know,
there are always three versions

of any background story
on an Argento movie.

The official version by Argento,

the gossip version
by people who don't like him,

and the gossip version
by people who do like him.

He calls the 15 weeks
shooting this movie in Parma

the worst filming experience
of his life.

Um, Vanessa Redgrave was
supposed to play Mara Chekova,

the diva who gets replaced
by Betty.

That was originally
a much larger role,

but as soon as she got to the
set, she demanded more money,

so Argento fired her.

In fact, he fired
so many people on this movie

that that's how
Michele Soavi ends up playing

the police officer
who comes to Betty's apartment.

Michele Soavi
of "Cemetery Man" fame.

We showed that movie recently.

Soave was working
as an assistant director,

and he just did that
because somebody got fired.

Um, Argento's father had died
right at the start of filming,

and Argento was very close
to his father,

so that was a tragedy
associated with the movie.

He didn't like his leading lady.

He had tension
with his ex-girlfriend,

who was taking a key role
in the movie.

Somebody on the crew fell down
a hole and cracked some ribs.

I already mentioned
Ian Charleson wrecking his car

and breaking a leg.

Uh, there was a short circuit
on the stage

that could have electrocuted
everybody.

-Do you think it's because of
the opera that they chose?

-You mean because...

-Yes, I do.
-The Scottish play?

-Yes.
-Do not try that again.

That was mean.

-I couldn't help it.

-It's the policeman.
Extraordinary.

Why on Earth would he do it?

-Not a sound.

Don't.

-Shh.

Just like your mother.

Your voice the same as hers.

Your body, even your skin.
Oh, God.

How much I loved her.

Don't, I don't want to kill you.

She taught me a cruel little
game of killing and torturing.

Only then could I have her.

No.

-I was her slave.

Calm down!

-No!

-Sit down.

Shh. Calm, calm.

When he saw me leave last night,

he never thought it
was a miracle, oh, yes.

Sit still!

But there was something missing.

You weren't a star like she was.

So, I had to get rid of Mara.

Betty, all I wanted
was your love.

But -- but people
don't understand.

And now, its all over.

How can you love me? A monster.

-No!

-I don't want you
to look no more.

It's better I die.

Yes.

I want to burn, no
one will ever find me.

Disappear,

no one will ever find me.

No.

Smell it?

Gasoline.

Are you afraid?

I am.

I'm afraid of pain.

Will you help me?

Here, take it.

Hold it steady.

Oh, good. Good.

Hold it. Higher.

Higher. To your left.

To your left!

Too far.

Good. Now, shoot. Shoot!

What are you waiting for?

Haven't I hurt you enough?

You want to hear more?

I strangled your mother.

She was too greedy.

She wanted more
blood, more cruelty,

and she wouldn't
let me touch her.

And, you know what?
I enjoyed killing --

No, no!

Help!

I can't get out.

Oh, my God!

I can't get out!

Help, I can't get out!

Mark!

-Betty? Betty!

-He's dead. He's dead.

Paris means a lot to me.

We'll make this
traviata unbelievable.

-How do you
want to play her?

Tender? Timid?

Sensual?

-Guten tag!
-Guten tag.

-Well?

-I don't think the
problem exists any longer.

Ciao.

-I knew it.

-There has been a new
and surprising development

in the case of,
"The Crime at the Opera."

You'll no doubt
remember the report

that suspected maniac killer
Inspector Alan Santini

died in the fire that destroyed
one wing of the theater.

Well, the police now inform us,

that the charred
remains of the body,

they had presumed was Santini's,

are not in fact human at all.

-Oh, my God.

-But, those of
a theatrical mannequin.

The authorities now realize
that Santini planned

this imaginative,
dramatic coup d'etat arte

as a delaying action
to give himself time to escape.

A nation wide hunt is
already underway for Santini,

who is considered to
be extremely dangerous.

The police forces of
neighboring countries

and in DePaul are giving
their fullest cooperation.

-Betty! He's not dead!

He's alive! He's here, run!

For God sake, run! Run!

♪ Nothing's gonna hold me down ♪

♪ Now your time is up ♪

♪ Did you put up a fight ♪

♪ 'Cause I don't mean tonight ♪

♪ You leave us low ♪

♪ And why don't you deny ♪

♪ We can do this altogether ♪

♪ To get you ♪

♪ Burning aid, tonight ♪

♪ All night to fight ♪

♪ Why don't you fight ♪

-No!

No!

No.

-I am like my mother.

I realize it now.

I wanted you to win.

To kill him.

I'm exactly like her.

Come, we must get away.

Come.

Before someone
finds the body, huh?

Come, let us go.

-Inspector!
-Hold your fire.

Hold your fire.
-Just grab him, grab him.

-Get the cuffs on him.
-Get his hands behind him

-Come on.

That's it.
Please, please, come on.

Lift him up with the knife.

-It's not true,
I'm not like my mother!

Nothing like her,
nothing at all!

Nothing at all!

-I didn't commit any crime!

I just wanted to
free their souls!

-I'm gonna kill him.
-Let me go!

-We've gotta
get him onto the copter.

-He wanted to kill you, huh?

He wanted to kill you.

-Did you know we were coming?

-Yes, I did.

I saw your dogs running
through the trees.

-Yeah, we've been on his
trail now for two days.

-I saw you were talking to him.

What did you tell him to
stop him from killing you?

-Nothing. A lot of nonsense.

Lies.

He's a madman, totally crazy.

I no longer wanted
to see anybody.

I wanted to escape all together.

Because I'm different.

I don't even vaguely
resemble others, any of them.

I like the wind, butterflies,

flowers, leaves, insects,

the rain, clouds.

Oh.

There, my beauty.

Go free.

-Wow, that ending.

Did Dario Argento
turn hippie or something?

I call this the Ernie ending.

Betty learns to be one
with the lizard.

Argento spent a lot
of his budget

to take the whole cast and crew
to Ticino in the Swiss Alps,

which is above the Gothard Pass,

because he wanted
the ending to remind us

of the wholesomeness
of "The Sound of Music."

You know, there,
my beauty, go free.

Who says
that in an Argento movie?

And then his explanation

for Inspector Santini
still being alive is that all

that burned up in the fire
was a mannequin.

I mean, really?

Two seconds after
the place went up in flames,

he ran out and got a dummy
to fool the police?

Not that the police are
ever smart.

I mean, the stupidest
law enforcement officials

in movie history
roam through Argento films.

The films would actually be
better

if the cops ever had IQs
above 30.

But everybody hated that ending.

And when Orion got his
first look at the movie,

they demanded
that the ending be removed.

But Argento refused.

But the movie had
more problems than that.

It ended up being the
most butchered by censors flick

of Argento's entire career.

What do you think
of the ending, Darcy?

-Uh, I don't know.
It's kind of crazy.

-I know. Well,
it could have been worse

because there was one version
where Betty decides

that she likes
Santini killing all her friends.

She is like her mother,

and they go off together
into the Swiss countryside.

-It's really never
that clear what she wants.

So honestly,
that would not surprise me.

-So the movie premiered
on December 19, 1987,

at the Cinema Adriano in Rome,
which was highly appropriate

because the Adriano was
originally

a neoclassical opera house,
just like the one in the movie,

so they thought it was
a Christmas movie.

It wasn't exactly a happy group
of filmmakers, though.

Cristina Marsillach
was telling the press

that she got manhandled
by Urbano Barberini

as the killer in many
of those scenes,

and Barberini said,
"Yeah, she's right.

I'm sure she has bruises,
it's film making."

Which I'm sure
did not make her happy.

Um, it would turn out
to be the last film, sadly,

of Ian Charleson as Marco.

Uh, when he went to the hospital
after that traffic accident,

he had to confide to Argento
that he had AIDS.

And this was a time

when AIDS was considered
a death sentence,

and insurance
companies would refuse to pay

if you used a person
in the movie who had AIDS.

So Argento did the right thing.
He kept a secret.

Um, Charleson was developing
as a superstar at the time.

He had been in "Gandhi."

He was the star
of "Chariots of Fire."

Uh, Scottish actor.
Very appropriate for this play.

Don't say the title, Darcy.
I'll kill you if you do.

From Edinburgh Royal High
School, Edinburgh University.

But he had low income
beginnings.

He put himself through

the London Academy of Music
and Dramatic Art

by bussing tables
at the Hard Rock Cafe.

He was a great singer.

First he was a boy soprano,

then he was an adult tenor,

and he had gotten numerous
rave reviews in the West End

and with the National Theatre

and the Royal
Shakespeare Company.

But here's kind of a telling
story about Ian Charleson.

The Olivier Theatre
was producing Hamlet,

and Daniel Day-Lewis walked
off the show during rehearsals.

So Ian Charleson comes in
at the last minute

and just stunned the audience
with his interpretation

of Shakespeare's
most difficult role.

And Ian McCulloch.
-Whoo!

-You know, the star of "Zombie"
and many other films.

We've had him on the show.

He's been a friend of ours
ever since.

Ian McCulloch says
that he knew Ian Charleson,

and he was at that performance
at the Olivier Theatre.

He said Ian Charleson did
all the soliloquies so quietly

and with such perfect eloquence
that everybody was just amazed,

especially because he was
a replacement actor in the role.

But of course, all those
soliloquies are about death.

And Ian Charleson was
dead seven weeks after that

at the age of 40.

All right, Cristina Marsillach,
Miss Spain 1980,

made very few films after this.

She was gone from the scene
by the early '90s.

Um, oddly enough,

Argento made another adaptation
of "Phantom of the Opera"

in 1998, with Julian Sands
playing a hermit,

raised by rats in the Paris
underground, and Asia Argento,

Dario's daughter,
played Christine.

Everyone hated that one.
Critics and public alike.

People call "Opera" Argento's
last great film.

What do you think?

-Um, I'm not sure about that,

but I think
because of the budget,

it was definitely his
most lavish film.

But it's not my favorite one.

-No?
-No.

-I agree,
it's not my favorite either.

It was also his
most censored film.

It was butchered
in many ways, in many countries.

Never released in Germany at all

because the censor board
wanted 25 minutes cut out of it.

And Argento says it was his

highest grossing film
of all time.

Now he says that.

But at the time it came out,

he said it was
a financial disaster.

So Argento stories,
you never know

with Argento stories,

I'm not surprised that it had
commercial difficulties because,

you know, all
the main characters are awful.

There's nobody
to root for in this movie.

Not even Betty, who learns
to commune with nature

at the end.

So by the time
you get to that scene,

you want to send her to
some place with poisonous snakes

and feral pigs who will chew her
into thousands of pieces.

How do you like nature now,
bitch?

All right, standing just out
of camera range, here is Shane.

I see he has arrived.
Our makeup genius.

And our very own phantom,

who at the beginning
of the night

was a very good looking guy.

Spencer Charnas, lead singer
and founder of Ice Nine Kills.

But now it's time
to witness the magic, and Shane,

you know, you're the leading
authority on Lon Chaney makeup.

You are the leading authority
on ghost makeup

and all kinds of makeup.

And this is the Super Bowl
for you.

This is the Super Bowl
of makeup.

It's the 100th anniversary
of your idol,

Lon Chaney's,
greatest makeup in film history.

And you have stepped up, right?
Are you ready?

-Yeah. Yeah.

You've laid it on thick,

but I think we've delivered
the goods.

I'm ready for it.

-All right.
Because I want to see ugly.

First tell us you got
a mask on here.

-Yeah, the mask is on,
and it's ready to do the thing.

-All right.
Is it a delicate mask?

Because can we recreate
the scene

where Christine rips
the mask off of Lon Chaney?

-Yeah. We can.
It's going to happen.

We're going to do it.

-Okay.
Darcy's going to go for it.

-Oh, wow. Really?
-If I remember

she kind of, like, tentatively
like puts her hands.

You know, she's
thinking about it, and she --

He starts to realize
that she's behind him,

and then she can't resist.

-Ah!
-Oh, wow.

You look amazing.

-Darcy!
-I mean, aah!

Scary.

Wow.
-Whoa!

-Uh, thank you, Mr. Morton.

-Yeah.

Super Bowl winner!

-Super Bowl.
-I do want to run all

the way to Atlanta.
You know, that is good.

You got a lot of slime
on there.

But you did some acid burn.

-Yeah, I had to throw
a little bit of the acid burn

and some extra evil gloop
on there.

-Okay, I don't really
agree with the acid burn.

He has to be ugly from birth.

But, um --
-He was.

We just topped it off.

-You get a 99.
Lon Chaney is 100. You get a 99.

-I'll take it.
-Nice.

-Will it take him six hours
to get this off his face?

-No, we're just going to rip
it right off.

It's going to be ready to go.
-You do look

like somebody knocked you
off the top of the ugly tree

and you hit every branch
on the way down,

so congratulations, Shane.

-Thank you.
-He is beautiful.

-And Darcy thinks
you're beautiful.

So you win on both counts.

-It's a silent film.
Am I allowed to speak now?

-You're allowed to speak.
-All right, well, thank you.

-All right.
-You're welcome.

-And I'm Joe Bob Briggs,
for Darcy the mail girl,

reminding you
that it's not your job

to say who's hot and who's ugly.

Because that makes you so low
that when you die,

you're going to have to rise
up to find hell.

And the drive in
will never die.

-No joke?
-No joke.

There is no way to follow that.

-Wow.

-Made in Georgia.