All language subtitles for Suits.LA.S01E03.1080p.x265-ELiTE

.

- I thought we were friends.
- We are friends, Billy.

Now get back inside
before someone--

Who would have planted
the bomb at Billy's?

- It's got to be
Jimmy Patriale.

- Jimmy Patriale,
you're under arrest

for the murder
of Billy Esposito!

- This isn't
what it looks like.

- Looks like, after you stole
his money, he wound up dead

in your backyard
from a gun that you own.

- I swear to you,
I did not murder him.

- If there is anything else
that you would like to tell us,

now would be the time.

- Your client's wife

was sleeping
with the man he murdered.

- Your father is in hospice.
He has three days to live.

- I'm here to offer you a job.

- I don't sell my soul
defending criminals,

and I don't want to skip

to the front
of the goddamn line.

You let them kill Eddie.

You're gonna die alone.

- I was told
you wanted to see me.

- I did.
- I got to be honest--

I thought I was the only one
that got in this early.

- It's funny.

When I lived in New York,
I was a late sleeper.

But when I got out here,

I guess I sort of just stayed
on East Coast time.

- So you're
from New York originally?

- Manhattan, born and raised.
- Oh.

I'm from Philadelphia.

- Ah, so you have a chip
on your shoulder.

- What is that
supposed to mean?

- Every person
from Philadelphia I ever met

has a chip because "we're just
as cool as New York."

- We are just as cool as...

[grunts softly]
I just proved your point.

What's that?
- My gift to you.

- Oh.
- The employee records

for every
entertainment lawyer here.

You're gonna decide
which three we're letting go.

- How exactly is that a gift?

- It's the first order
of business

for the new
Head of Entertainment.

Meet me in room 107
at 2:00 tomorrow.

Have your choices ready.

- Just as far as gifts go--

Lakers tickets, better than
deciding who gets fired.

I mean, I like firing.

I could be the fire marshal
up in here, if you want me to.

[funky music]

* *

- Erica, sorry to bother you.
No, I'm not.

Ted needs you to handle
another client for him.

- So I've gone from Ted giving
me his clients to you doing it?

- If you ask me,
that's an upgrade.

- I see that. Hit me.

- Brian Baumgartner,
you know him?

- Who doesn't?
- Well, Brian's annual

"ask Ted for something crazy"
meeting

is on the books for today,

and Ted can't make it because--
- Murder case.

- Bingo. So whatever it is
that he wants--

Super Bowl tickets,

meeting King Charles,
cloning his puppy--

take the meeting, make him
happy, and call it a day.

- Rosalyn, how is
the murder case going?

- Uh, not wonderful.

Ted found out last night

that Lester's wife
was sleeping with his partner.

- Damn.

Did Lester know?

- Ted and Kevin are trying
to find that out right now.

- What do you know
about this Kevin guy?

- I know Ted trusts Kevin
with his life.

And 15 years ago, they were
the fastest rising team

the Justice Department
had ever seen.

[dramatic music]

- I cannot believe this!

- Hey, Lester, you're
gonna have to calm down.

- Damn it! Whoa--
You want me to calm down?

She was having sex
with my business partner!

And not only do I have to deal
with that humiliation,

but now everybody's
gonna think that I knew

and that I killed him!

[book clatters]

- As an aside,
it's not a good look

for a man accused of murder
to show this much rage.

- Oh, you're the one who said
he must have known.

If he didn't,
this is the right reaction.

Hey, Lester...

you can throw that tantrum
for 15 more minutes,

after which, get it together,

because we need Valerie
at trial.

- Screw her,
and screw your clock!

I will calm down
when I am good and ready!

[object smashes]
- Okay.

Well, he's got to process.

I'm gonna go pay
a visit to Valerie.

I want you to find out
what this prosecutor knows

and how she knows it.
- You got it.

[object shatters]

Lester, I think she gets it.

[clattering and shattering
continue]

"Process" my ass.

- Leah, what can I do for you?

- I think you mean
what can I do for you?

Know what I'm saying?
- Leah.

- Okay, fine.

Since you know
embarrassingly little

about film and television,

I've prepared a dossier
on Baumgartner.

- "Embarrassingly little"?
- Let's move on.

Brian Baumgartner, he was
in a show called "The Office."

He played a character
named Kevin,

and I took the liberty
of circling his face.

Here is everything
you need to know about him.

- Okay.

Wo--Leah, how do you
have all this?

- We made a deal

for me to teach you
about TV and movies.

And I might have peeked
at Rosalyn's calendar

and saw that she marked

"tell Erica
about Baumgartner today."

- Thank you, Leah.

Hold on.

Do you peek
at my calendar, too?

- Oh, God, no.

But between you and me,
you probably won't make

that dentist appointment
tomorrow at 2:00.

Midday traffic.

- Damn, I didn't think
of midday traffic.

[dramatic music]

* *

- Ted.
Lester's not here.

- I know.

He's at his office right now,
breaking things.

- Oh, God, he knows.

- About you and Simon?
Yes, he does.

And so does the woman who's
trying to put your husband away

for a murder he didn't commit.

So you and I are going
to discuss

how we're going to play this.

- I'm sorry, I can't discuss
this with you right now.

- Valerie, Lester's life
is on the line,

so whatever it is you have
on your schedule can wait.

- What I mean is I've been
advised by my attorney

not to discuss this
with anyone.

- Your attorney?
I'm your attorney.

- Not anymore.

I'm now being represented
by Stuart Lane.

* *

- * See the money,
wanna stay for your meal *

* Get another piece of pie
for your wife *

* Everybody wanna know
how it feel *

* Everybody wanna see
what it's like *

* I'll even eat a bean pie,
I don't mind *

* Me and Missy is so busy,
busy making money *

* All right *

* All step back,
I'm 'bout to dance *

.

- Brian, I'm Erica.

We spoke on the phone.
- [chuckles]

- Thank you for coming in.
Ted sends his apologies.

- Oh, please, I know
what's on his plate.

Lester Thompson
is lucky to have him.

- Oh, well, I don't want
to talk about them.

I want to know

what we can do for you.

- I want to kill Kevin Malone.

- Uh, what?

- Don't get me wrong,
I-I love him.

I love the role.

It has given me basically
everything I have.

But it has come with a cost.

- It typecast you?
- Exactly.

I want the world to see that
I can perform dramatic roles

at an Oscar-worthy level.

- "Oscar-worthy"?
- Yes, Oscar-worthy.

[knock on window]
- Hey, it's Kevin Malone!

How's it going?

- Nice.
Thanks for asking.

- Yes.

- Got to give the people
what they want.

- Okay, Brian,
about what you want,

it's unheard of
for a comedic actor

to successfully transition--
- No, it's not.

It's happened many times--

Robin Williams,
Jamie Foxx, Tom Hanks.

- Okay, but those
are the exceptions

that make people think
it's not a rule, but it is.

- Maybe, but I want to talk
to one of them

to find out
how they did it, anyway.

- [sighs]
And it just so happens

Ted represents Tom Hanks.

- All I'm asking for is
one meeting with Tom Hanks.

- Just the one?

- Just one.
- Hmm.

- So, first, you steal
half my firm,

and now this.

- You think I asked for this?

I don't like it
any more than you.

- I'm gonna tell you this
one time.

Stay out of my case.

- Our kids have gone to school
together since first grade.

Valerie begged Helen
to get me to help her.

What was I supposed to do?
- I don't know!

Turn her down, since you're
not even a divorce attorney!

- Well, like you
once did with me,

she said she needed someone
that she can trust,

and I am fully capable
of handling this.

- No, you mean that you realize

Lester needs her to stand
beside him at his trial,

which is your opportunity
to take my client

for everything that he's got.

- It's just a negotiation.
- To you.

I am trying to save
an innocent man's life.

- Wait, you really believe
he didn't do it?

- Yeah, I do.

So, if Valerie wants
to negotiate, fine.

We'll see you at the table.

Don't think that I don't
realize what this really is--

someone betraying their partner

while pretending to be
the victim.

[dramatic music]

- Ted, hold on.

There's something else
we need to talk about.

- No, Stuart,

there is nothing else
that we need to talk about.

* *

- Oh, my God.

Look, they don't make pastrami
like this in California.

- No, they don't,

but these sandwiches
did cost half my paycheck.

- If you think that's gonna
get you in my pants, it might.

- Wait till you see
how much I paid for dessert.

[cup thuds]

- All right...

what do you want?
- What?

I can't buy an old friend lunch
without wanting something?

- Ted.

- I need someone
to represent a murderer

that I'm trying to put
into WITSEC.

- I'm a corporate lawyer.

I-I don't know anything
about criminal defense.

- You're the best attorney
I know.

And, Stuart, I need
someone I can trust.

- What's the catch?

- Until the deal is done,
the Mob might come after you.

You'll stay with me, all right?

We will be protected 24-7.

- Just tell me one thing--

this guy you're going after,

how important is it
that you put him away?

- If I were to show
you pictures

of some of the things
he's done to people,

that pastrami that you just ate
would be on the floor.

- [inhales deeply]

Well, as long as I'm back
in LA by Tuesday, I'll do it.

[knock on door]
- You ready for me?

- Yeah.
Come on in.

Kevin, this is Stuart.
Stuart, this is Kevin.

- No, no, don't get up.
Don't get up.

All right, Stuart,
before you make your decision,

I've got detailed charts on how
we're gonna keep you safe

over the next two days,
all right?

- Okay.

- All right,
the blue represents you.

The orange is Ted.

And the green--
they're the FBI agents.

- And which one are you?

- I'm black.

- Makes sense.
- Yeah.

All right, look, the plan is--
- Kevin, he already said yes.

You don't need to tell him
the plan.

- I spent six hours on these
damn charts, color-coded and--

color-coded and everything.

- Do you--do you want
to show me your charts?

- Okay.

Thanks, man.
I appreciate it.

- So let me get this straight.

He doesn't want
Super Bowl tickets.

He wants to meet Tom Hanks
so he can win an Oscar.

- Pretty much, yeah.

- Well, that's
never gonna happen,

so what do we have
to work with?

- Well, if I learned
anything about actors,

it's that there's some truth
to what they say.

And he says he wants to be
a serious dramatic actor, so...

- He wants to reinvent himself.

- That sounds right.

Now we just need to figure out
a way for Brian--

- Alfonso Ribeiro.

He was in the same situation,
and now he's a huge TV host.

- Alfonso Ribeiro.

- He played
this iconic character

in the show "The Fresh"--

- Leah, I know
who Carlton Banks is.

- You do?
- I'm a Black girl from LA.

You think I don't know
"The Fresh Prince of Bel Air"?

- In my defense, you didn't
know what "Cheers" was.

- Well, I know all of them.

Uncle Phil, Aunt Viv, Jazz,
Geoffrey, and, of course...

- I-I--
What are you--

Oh, my God,
are you having a seizure?

Roll on your side.
Don't bite your tongue.

- No, I'm not having a seizure.

I'm--I'm doing
the Carlton Dance.

- Oh, you mean--you mean this?

- That's what I was doing.

- Yeah, if you say so.

Yes, you totally--
you were doing that.

- Anyway, I'll show him
there are other ways

to reinvent himself.
- Great.

But I do think it's important
that you understand

how to do the Carlton Dance.

You have to--

- Leah, you do that dance
again, and you're fired.

- Ah, she loved it.

* *

[door opens]

- Ted, I have something
for you.

You're not gonna like it.
- Then let it wait.

- It can't.
It's from Stuart.

[footsteps departing,
door opens]

- Rosalyn, can I talk to you
for a second?

- What is it?

- I met with Brian Baumgartner,
and long story short,

he wants to be
a dramatic actor.

- So?

- So I just spent an hour
trying to convince him

there are other ways
to reinvent himself,

and he wouldn't hear it.

He is insisting on
a conversation with Tom Hanks.

But I figured--

- Erica, Ted is going through
some rough stuff right now.

He's never gonna ask Tom
to do this.

Find another way.

.

- Rosalyn, can I talk to you
for a minute?

- Sure.

- I know Erica wanted you
to ask Ted to call Tom Hanks.

- If you're asking me
to reconsider, Leah,

that's not gonna happen.
- That's not it.

There's another client Ted has
that might fit the bill,

and I thought maybe
if you called him--

- I'm not calling anyone, Leah.

- I understand.
[chuckles]

Sorry to bother you.

- Why is this
so important to you?

- I know how hard Erica
is working for Ted

and how much this means to her.

And last week I pooped the bed
on the first real assignment

Erica gave me.

I want to make up for it.

- "Pooped the bed"?

- My mom says swearing
isn't ladylike.

She's such a farty-tarty.

You know what I mean?

- Who's the client?

[cell phone vibrating]

- Ted.

- How many times are you
gonna cut my legs out

before you get over
being called a flea?

- Don't you say that to me.

- Valerie is one thing,
but if you think for one second

that I'm gonna let you handle
my father's will--

- You're not letting me
do anything.

And for your information,

I had no idea he named me
executor until after he died.

- Fine.
I'll make this easy for you.

Whatever he left, sell it.
Donate it.

I don't care,
because I don't want it.

- Fine. But I'm required
to execute the entire will,

and the will states he's
to be buried next to Eddie.

- Stuart, if you think for one
second that I'm gonna let you--

- That's enough.

You've been coming
at me all day.

I didn't do this.

I even tried to warn you, but
you didn't want to hear it.

Your father bought the plot.

He's being buried there
in two days.

It's done.

[dramatic music]

* *

- Okay, Jimmy,
let's wrap this up.

I'm sick of looking
at your face.

- Whoa, how about a little bit
of respect, huh?

This face is about
to make you famous

for putting away
John Pellegrini.

- And we're about
to save your sorry life

by making you disappear.

- Fort Wayne, Indiana,
for the rest of my life?

Uh-uh.
I want Honolulu.

- Yeah, well, I want you
to get the death penalty,

so I guess we're both gonna
have to live

with disappointment.

- My client is risking his life
to take the stand,

and this offer
is completely unacceptable.

- I don't care
what he's risking.

He's a murderer.

He doesn't get Honolulu.

- What we're asking
for is appropriate

under the circumstances.

- The circumstances are I can
take this deal off the table,

let him walk out the building,
and he's dead in ten minutes!

- And the case you've been
working on for years

goes up in smoke.

- Then it goes up in smoke.

He gets what he gets
and not a nickel more.

* *

What--what the hell was that?
[door closes]

- I'm representing my client
to the best of my ability.

If you didn't want me to do--
- Honolulu?

Why didn't you ask to put him
on the moon?

- It's our opening offer.
You counter with Miami.

You don't storm
out of the room.

- No, no.
I gave you my counter.

My counter is nothing.

- Ted, all I'm looking for
is the same deal

the previous witness got.

- The previous witness
had a name--Billy Esposito.

Your client murdered him.

- Okay, what's really
going on here?

- I was supposed
to protect Billy.

And I failed.

So I'm not gonna let that...

monster...

live it up in paradise

after what he did.

- Well, you're
going to have to.

Jimmy has information.

He doesn't know the full extent
of it, but I do.

- What are you talking about?

- Pellegrini paid a lawyer
to offer you a job.

Jimmy only knows that lawyer
by his last name,

which is different than yours,

because after your
father left--

- I took my mother's name.

- If it comes out that your
father took money from the Mob,

everyone will think
you're as dirty as he is.

- And my time
at the Justice Department

will be over.

- Ted, if I can't get Jimmy
a decent deal,

he'll get another lawyer,
and it's going to come out.

- So be it.
This is what we're giving him.

Let the chips fall.

* *

- Then before he gets
someone new...

let me tell him it was me.

He still doesn't know
my last name.

- Stuart, you could destroy
your reputation.

Why would you do that?

- Because you're
the closest thing to a brother

I've ever had.

* *

- Before we get started,

do you think that Lester knew
about you and Simon?

- What does that
have to do with--

- They want to know how are
you're gonna look in court,

which means they want to know
if you think Lester did it.

- If Lester paid
enough attention

to know I was having an affair,

I never would have had one
in the first place.

So, no, I don't think he knew,

and I don't believe
he killed Simon.

- Having said that,

we've prepared a list
of requested assets.

[paper rustling]

- The Ferrari, the beach--

You want the beach house?

- My client wants
what she's entitled to.

- Your client signed a prenup
that entitles her to nothing.

- And Lester needs Valerie
with him at trial,

so let's skip the foreplay.

She wants half the assets
earned during the marriage.

- She didn't earn any assets.
She only spent them.

- Of course you'd say that.

You never appreciated
anything I did.

- You never did anything.
- I had an acting career.

I gave it up for you.
- You were never any good.

- I acted well enough
to make you look good.

- [scoffs]
- Every red carpet,

every damn time you needed
someone to work a room.

- You worked something,
all right--my best friend.

- You want to know
what your best friend said

when I told him
how you treat me?

He wanted to kill you.

- You are a lying,
cheating, selfish--

- Careful what you say
to my client.

- Your client
betrayed her partner,

and now she's trying to extort
him for everything he's got.

- We could be asking
for a hell of a lot more.

- It never ends with you.

- I'm representing my client
to the best of my ability.

- You barely knew your client
before yesterday,

which is better
than that other client--

- Ted!
What are you doing?

You're the one who told me
to stay calm.

- You're right.

* *

Lester, is there anything
on this list

that you value
more than your life?

* *

- No.

* *

- Then we have a deal.

You know, for the record,

y-you made a promise
to stand by this man.

You were his partner.

And not only
did you abandon him,

but you did it by running right
into the arms of the person

.

- Are you moving offices?

You should, because
this one is awesome.

- Well, I'm glad you think so,
because I'm not the one moving.

You are.

- You're giving me this office?

- Well, we can't have
the Head of Entertainment

working out of that closet
you're in now.

- [laughs]
Well, I don't mean to be rude,

but calling
my office a closet--

that's kind of an insult
to closets, you know?

Because it's so small.

Do I get to keep this vase?

- You know, I wasn't sure
if I liked you, but now,

nope, still not sure.

- [scoffs]

Well, after today,

I'm not sure these three
are gonna like me either.

- If that's your list
of who to let go,

you can throw it away.
- I don't understand.

- Head of Entertainment isn't
all rainbows and new offices.

- And you needed to know
I had it in me

to make the hard choices?

- Yes, but that's
for another day.

For today--

Ted.
- Did you know?

- Know what?

- That my father made Stuart
the executor of his will.

- No, I didn't.
I'm sorry--

- I don't--
I don't need your sympathy.

I just needed to know
how many secrets

the people that I thought
I could trust

were keeping from me.

[dramatic music]

* *

- Leah.
Good, you're here.

Wait, you eat--
- Yes, they're Fruity Pebbles.

What are you, my dentist?
- Yabba-dabba-doo.

I got an idea last night.

I figured out
what Brian Baumgartner needs.

But we can't get Tom Hanks,
so we need someone who has--

- No, we don't.
I fixed it.

- Leah, please tell me
you did not contact Tom Hanks.

- I thought of someone else.

Rosalyn spoke to him, and he's
willing to meet with Brian.

- You're kidding.
Who is it?

- Patton Oswalt.
He's a comedian turned actor.

- That's perfect.

- You know
who Patton Oswalt is?

- Leah, I know the talent
in his town.

I'm just not a fan of every
movie and TV show ever been--

Wait, did you think I didn't
know who Tom Hanks was?

- I don't know.
Anything's possible.

[imitating Forrest Gump] Life
is like a box of chocolates.

- Why are you
talking like that?

- [normal voice] Don't tell me
you've never seen

"Forrest Gump."
- I haven't.

- So then what Tom Hanks movies
have you seen?

- I like the one
with the helicopter...

and the special agent
and the goldfish.

- So you've never seen
a Tom Hanks movie.

- Good luck trying to prove it.

Now, before setting
that meeting with Patton,

here's what I need you to do.

- What now?
It's been a long day.

- It's about to get longer.

This photo sure looks
like Lester knew

his wife was sleeping
with Simon.

- What?

Where did you get this?

- Staff photographer
from the "LA Times"

is an old friend.

Found it in their archives
three hours ago.

They're not gonna bury it.

- Which means it's gonna hit
the front page of the papers.

- Tomorrow at the latest.
- Gives us a few hours.

[line trills]
- Ted.

- Rosalyn, I want
you to call Lester.

Tell him to come
back to our offices

and meet us on the 25th floor.
- What is it?

- Keep this to yourself,

but there's a photo that makes
it look like Lester

knew about Valerie and Simon.

- Ted, Stuart didn't send over
a copy of the agreement yet.

If he realizes
what's going on--

- He's gonna rip it up
and renegotiate.

- Do you want me to nudge him?
- No, that'll tip him off.

We just need to hope that
he sends over the agreement

before this hits the papers.

But, Rosalyn, good call.

- I know.

* *

[elevator bell dings,
doors open]

- Okay, I'm here, but if you
can't get me Tom Hanks,

I-I don't know why.

- Because, Brian,
there is another actor

who successfully made
the transition

from comedy to drama.

- Patton Oswalt?
- Mm-hmm.

He starred
in the movie "Ratatouille."

Okay, look, I know he's not
who you originally asked for,

but he came here for you.

So why not give it a chance?

- Okay.
- Okay, come on.

Patton Oswalt, I'd love for
you to meet Brian Baumgartner.

- Hi. Thank you
for meeting with me.

- It's a pleasure. My daughter
and I are huge fans.

- Oh, thank you.

- I'm sorry, Erica,
but they need you downstairs

for five minutes.
- Okay.

I'll be right back.

- Mr. Baumgartner, My Lordship.

[inhales deeply, chuckles]

[knock on window]

- What are you working on?

- [sighs]
The divorce settlement

between Lester Thompson
and his wife.

- Heard about that.

I also heard about you
handling Ted's father's estate.

- Two clients
I wish I didn't have.

- I never told
you this, Stuart, but...

if I hadn't left Ted,

I'm pretty sure he would have
asked you to be his best man.

- What about Kevin?
- You two go back further.

The man is nothing
if not loyal.

[knock on window]
- Sorry to interrupt.

When did Ted's father die?

- Two weeks ago.

Evidently, he'd been sick
for some time.

- [sighs]

Okay, I hate to ask this,
but did either of you know

what was happening
when you decided to cut him

out of the merger?
both: No.

- If you had known--
- Excuse me, Mr. Lane?

I just sent you an email.

I think you should look at it
right away.

- That is when I learned
on live TV

that "huckleberry"--
not a funny word.

- [laughing]
Oh.

Oh, man.

It is such a pleasure
talking with you.

I mean, I don't know exactly
how it's going to help me

become an Oscar-level
dramatic actor,

but this is so much fun.

- So wait, you want to become

an Oscar-level dramatic actor?

- Oh, not want to.
I'm going to.

- Brian, when I said
I was a fan,

I, um, sort of meant it.

- What?

- I don't think
you have it in you

to get where you want to go.

- Well, who are you
to say that to me?

- Look, I know
this isn't easy to hear,

but, I mean, look
in the mirror, buddy.

- Me?
Yeah.

What exactly have you done
that hasn't sucked?

- Uh, do you want me
to pull up my IMDb page?

- I don't know.
Is your phone small enough?

- What does yours say?

"Smallest role
in the dumbest show ever"?

- Kevin Malone
was a key ingredient,

and "The Office"
was a work of genius!

- Even Toby was
funnier than you.

- You voiced a cartoon rat!

- His name was Remy,
and that movie won an Oscar!

- I'm gonna win an Oscar, too,

but I'm actually gonna be
on camera.

- The only Oscar

you'll ever get close to's last
name is Mayer,

and it comes in a Wienermobile!
- You piece of--

- What the hell
is going on here?

- I'll tell you
what's going on!

The next time I ask you
to do something,

either do exactly what
I asked you, or you're fired!

Your Lordship.

- That's what she said!

It's from his show.
- I never watched it.

[elevator bell dings]

- Okay, I'm here.

What are we doing
on this floor?

- This is the criminal floor.

- I thought this was
about my divorce.

- This...

is about this.

- Uh...
[scoffs]

I-I swear t-there's
an explanation--

- There always is with you.

- Ted, I have no memory
of this photo being taken.

It must have been doctored.
- "Doctored"?

You want me to go to a jury
with "it was doctored"?

[cell phone vibrating]
[sighs]

It's Stuart, which means
the article has dropped.

[sniffs]
Stuart.

- I can tell from your voice
you know what this is about.

- That photo proves nothing.

- Oh, it's more
than a picture, Ted.

The headline reads "He Knew."

It's time to renegotiate.

Have your client here
in an hour.

- I'm no lawyer, but you
better think of something

your wife
wants more than money.

- There's nothing more
that she wants.

All she wants is money.
- If that's what you think,

then you were not listening
this afternoon.

.

[car door opens]

- What are you
doing here, Erica?

- You were obviously
upset earlier.

I just wanted to come and
make sure everything was okay.

- Well, I don't know if you're
gonna think it's okay or not,

but, frankly, I don't care.

I'm taking a lead dramatic role
in an off-Broadway play.

- Is this because
of Patton Oswalt?

- Yeah, that pompous
little son of a bitch--

he told me that I don't have
the talent.

Well, I'm gonna show him,
and I'm gonna show you,

because if all you see
is Kevin Malone,

then you don't know
a goddamn thing.

- Good.

- "Good"?

What?
Good how?

- Brian, you wanted to talk
to Tom Hanks

so you could hear
how he did it,

but what you needed
was for someone

to insist you couldn't do it
so you could fight for it.

- Wait, so you told Patton to
start that whole thing with me?

- I did, and he agreed,

because he believes in you,
and so do I.

- Wow. Thank you, Erica.
- Oh.

- Thank you so much.

- Okay.

You want to know if I can still
book you comedic roles

if this doesn't work out,
don't you?

- I do.

- Well, we'll bake that cookie
when it's time.

- How did you know
this was all gonna work?

- Because people
have been telling me

I don't have what it takes
my whole life.

- I bet they don't say
that anymore.

- You bet your sweet ass
they don't.

- Oh, oh, oh, no, they don't!
- [chuckles]

- Come on, let's play.

You're gonna--you're gonna
shoot some hoops with me.

That is my request.
- Okay, just one--

just one hoop.

- Okay, let's get to it.

What's it gonna take
to get this signed?

- I'm not here to renegotiate.

I'm here to say
that I won't be standing

by that monster at trial.
- What?

- I swear, this is news to me.

- "I Didn't Know:
The Stuart Lane Story."

- I didn't tell him
that I'm not gonna pretend

that Lester didn't kill Simon.
- How can you think that?

- How can anyone that saw this
think anything else?

You killed him.
You knew, and you killed him.

- Hold on.

I knew there was a reason
why I had no memory of this.

Look at my left hand.

- Who cares
about your left hand?

What does that have to do
with anything?

- Lester's blind as a bat.

Without his contacts,
he can't see a thing.

- My eyes were bothering me
that night--I wore my glasses.

- He's holding his glasses
in his left hand.

He couldn't have seen
Valerie and Simon.

- No.
No, he couldn't have.

But this whole thing, I just--
I'm sorry.

Lester, I can't watch
your trial.

- Give it to her anyway.

- Lester...

- We've already lost.

Look what she thought
I was capable of.

[scoffs]
Val, I'm sorry.

I took you for granted.

And if you don't love me
anymore, I can accept that.

But unlike me,
Ted heard you this afternoon,

and now I do, too.

I've always believed
in your talent,

but like you said,
I'm a jealous man.

I didn't want to share you
with the world.

You deserve better.

So I got you a role,
a great role,

just like you always wanted.

Stand by me or don't,

but please know
I didn't do this.

- Okay.

[soft music]

I'll stand by you.

* *

- I think I'm starting
to like your boy.

* *

- Thank you, Ted.

You may have just saved
my marriage and my freedom

at the same time.

- It's what I do, Lester.

It's what I do.

* *

- Oh.
[chuckles]

- I don't tell you often enough
I love you.

- You tell me every day.
- [chuckles softly]

It's still not often enough.

- What's this all about?
- Ah...

- It's Valerie
and Lester Thompson.

- [sighs]
Stuart...

we're not them.
- I know.

It's just...

there's a reason
I don't do divorce cases.

It's...

a lot.

- That's not the only case
that's a lot for you right now.

- Helen.

- Stuart, look,
I know it's not your favorite

when I put
my therapist hat on, but...

do you think it's possible that
you're misplacing some sadness

over what happened with Ted?

- I take it back.
I tell you I love you plenty.

- Hmm.

Look, I know Ted
demeaning criminal defense

took a toll on you
over the years.

And on the business side,

I fully support you
cutting ties with him.

But there's
a personal side, too,

I mean, with what
he's going through

and you handling his father's--

- I know what you're gonna say,
that we're his only family,

but he's gonna be fine.
- I-I wasn't going to say that.

I was gonna ask
what it's doing to you.

But that your mind
went to him...

[sighs] Maybe that means you're
worried he won't be fine.

[dramatic music]

[line trilling, clicks]

- What has you calling me
this time of night?

- Ted.

I just found out
his father died.

- When?

- When everything else
was happening.

- Rosalyn mentioned something
was going on with him,

but his own father?

He didn't even take a day.
- I know.

Hey, if you want,
I could come over.

- First of all, no.

Second, you're feeling guilty
about leaving him, aren't you?

- That's...

actually very insightful.
- Mm-hmm.

- When did you
start knowing people

better than they
know themselves?

- You like that?
Check this out.

I used your whole

"knowing what the client
really needs" thing today.

- How did it feel?
- Pretty damn good.

- Look at you,
growing and learning from me.

- I learned a little from you,

but I have to give
some credit to Ted.

- Let me guess--he gave you

the "learn
from your mistakes" line.

- He gave that to you, too?
- Yep.

- He called you Kobe, too,
didn't he?

- What?
- Never mind.

Good night, Ricky.
- Don't call me that.

You know I hate it
when you call me that.

- No, you don't.

- Good night, Erica.

- Good night, Ricky.

- I said I don't like it
when you--

- Oh, got to go.
Getting another call. Bye.

[line beeps]
- [groans]

- Well, if it isn't Leah Power.

- Why are you using
my last name?

This doesn't bode well.

- I am using your last name
because I'm in a silly mood.

- Okay, thank God.

I'll see you tomorrow.

- Wait, we didn't get
to why I called you

in the first place.
- Am I in trouble?

- You're in the opposite
of trouble.

- We're going to Cancun?
- Girl, you--

you think the opposite
of trouble is going to Cancun?

- I-I-I get nervous
when I'm not in trouble.

- Leah, I called you to tell
you how impressed I've been.

You jumped in there
with Brian's file.

You came up with Patton Oswalt

and walked him through why he
needed to crush Brian's dream.

You killed it today.

I didn't want to let the day
end without telling you.

I'm really glad we decided to
take a chance on each other.

- So no Cancun?

- No.
No Cancun.

- Thanks, Erica.

- Have a good night, Leah.
[line clicks]

- [laughing]

What?

[telephone ringing]

- Ted Black's office.

- Rosalyn, it's Stuart.
Please don't hang up.

I need a favor.

- My days of doing you favors
are over.

- It's for Ted.

- Like you dropping that bomb
on my desk was for Ted?

- I tried to tell him,
but he wouldn't listen.

What was I supposed to do?

- How about not betray him
or cut him out of the merger

or be a terrible friend?

- Okay, if you don't want
to tell him what I have to say,

you don't have to,
but, Rosalyn...

if you hang up on me,
you're going to regret it.

[dramatic music]

.

[door closes]
- What's this all about?

I don't know that guy.

- That is my father,

the lawyer that your boss paid
to offer me a job.

Now, at a certain point,

you may be tempted
to use that information,

so let me explain
how that's gonna go for you.

I will cut you loose.

I will make my case
another way.

And as sure
as you're standing here,

you'll be dead in a day.

So take the offer on the table
or leave it.

You got five minutes.

[dramatic music]

[device clicks, whirring]

[door opens]

* *

- What's going on?
[door closes]

What the hell am I doing here?

- I figured you should get used
to this.

I know why you offered me
that job.

Pellegrini wanted me
out of the Justice Department

so that I would stop
coming after him.

- I didn't break a single law.

- You took money to obstruct
a federal investigation.

- I offered my son a job
that I wanted him to have,

and no one can prove
anything different.

- Did you think for one second
what would happen to me

if any of this ever came out?

Of course you didn't.

So, if you want to call me
your son,

start acting like a father!

- How dare you talk
to me that way?

You respect your family!

- You want to talk
about family?

My friend just offered
to risk his career

to get me out of a jam
that you put me in.

- "Friend"?
What friend?

- Stuart Lane.

And he is more family to me
than you will ever be.

[door opens, slams]

[lock clicks]

You're off the hook.

Jimmy...
[keys thud on table]

Is gonna take the deal as is.

- [sighs]

[clears throat]

- How'd you know he'd cave?
- He's exactly like my father.

All he cares about is himself.

- Well...

I have to thank you.
- For what?

- For making me realize

I want to be
a criminal defense attorney.

- No, Stuart--
- I know how you feel about it.

But this is the most
I've enjoyed being a lawyer

since we went at it
at the mock trial.

Like, criminal law is
what I was meant to do.

- So be a prosecutor.

- Oh, come on.
- I'll make a call.

- Come on, we both know I like
money way too much.

And I'm gonna need it

because Helen and I are gonna
start a family.

- You're getting married?
- If you'll be my best man.

- So, if I say no,
you're not getting married?

- Oh, damn, I didn't think
this through.

- I'd be honored.
I would be honored.

- [laughs] Hey!
- Yes!

Congratulations.
- Thank you, brother.

Oh, thank you.

Speaking of relationships,
where's Samantha?

- Oh, hey!
Speak of the devil. Hey.

- Stuart, I missed you.
- Dude.

- I missed you. Get in here.
[door closes]

Hey.

- Aw.
He really likes you.

- Okay. All right.
[Samantha chuckles]

- Group hug.
- Get in here, Eddie.

[sentimental music]

* *

[cell phone ringing]

* *

- Rosalyn, it's late.
Is everything all right?

- I'm fine,
but I have some news.

Your father is being buried
tomorrow morning...

next to your brother.

I think you should go.

- Stuart put you up to this,
didn't he?

- He did, but that's not
why I'm doing it.

- Well, if he calls again,

you tell Stuart
I let the man die alone.

He can be buried alone.

- Who is gonna be buried alone?

Who died, Teddy?
Was it someone you know?

- It was Dad, Eddie.

Dad died.

- I don't understand.
Why would he be buried alone?

- Eddie, it's...

- I don't care
about what he did.

He's our dad.

[Abraham Alexander's
"Heart of Gold"]

Teddy, without him,
I w-wouldn't have you.

I-I l-love him,

and I want to say goodbye.

- [sighs]

- * I can feel the love *

* *

* And from my father's hands *

* A battle rages on my skin *

* *

* And heart of gold *

* Keep moving on *

* *

* Just keep pressing on *

* And, oh, my soul *

* *

* Please stay strong *

* *

* In my brother's arms *

* *

* Find shelter in the storm *

* *

* Heart of gold *

* Keep moving on *

* *

* Just keep pressing on *

* And, oh, my soul *

* *

* Please stay strong *

* *

- Aaron. Aaron!