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♪ MTV ♪
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{\an8}Damn, son.
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00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:18,150
Bruce Wayne,
how you doing today?
4
00:00:18,151 --> 00:00:21,320
Can I see your pilot's license?
5
00:00:21,321 --> 00:00:23,189
I'ma need you to step out
of the car for me.
6
00:00:30,663 --> 00:00:32,265
Whoo!
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00:00:34,367 --> 00:00:35,468
{\an8}Ah!
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Oh!
9
00:00:40,106 --> 00:00:41,039
{\an8}Holy shit!
10
00:00:55,088 --> 00:00:57,223
{\an8}Go!
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{\an8}- Good morning.
- Morning.
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00:01:00,293 --> 00:01:01,660
{\an8}- Morning.
13
00:01:01,661 --> 00:01:04,496
The PC police have
cracked their whip again.
14
00:01:04,497 --> 00:01:05,731
Did everybody read the memo?
15
00:01:05,732 --> 00:01:07,132
- What is that?
- Well, the old targets,
16
00:01:07,133 --> 00:01:08,767
we can't use them anymore,
from the ring.
17
00:01:08,768 --> 00:01:10,569
- Oh, come on.
- Why?
18
00:01:10,570 --> 00:01:12,271
And there's--I don't feel
like there's anything wrong
19
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:15,007
with most of them,
like this guy.
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00:01:15,008 --> 00:01:17,176
Ah, ugh!
We can't shoot at that?
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00:01:17,177 --> 00:01:19,144
I thought he was like,
kind of like, cool wolf guy.
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00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:20,946
- You see a wolf there?
- More than that.
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00:01:20,947 --> 00:01:23,816
I see a weird,
scary moose lamb, yeah.
24
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:24,983
Come on.
25
00:01:24,984 --> 00:01:26,151
Who wouldn't want
to shoot that?
26
00:01:26,152 --> 00:01:27,286
Who wouldn't
want to shoot that?
27
00:01:27,287 --> 00:01:28,720
This is what I get.
28
00:01:28,721 --> 00:01:32,291
Because the Chinese did
great things for Nevada,
29
00:01:32,292 --> 00:01:34,193
and remember how we stopped
30
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vilifying the Chinese
in general?
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It's the policy that we say...
- Yeah.
32
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:40,599
Thank you to our beautiful
Chinese citizenry.
33
00:01:40,600 --> 00:01:42,501
I always thought
that he was a Filipino.
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00:01:42,502 --> 00:01:43,769
- This guy?
- Yeah.
35
00:01:43,770 --> 00:01:45,137
He's not Chinese.
36
00:01:45,138 --> 00:01:47,105
He's a China man
in a--in a sombrero.
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00:01:47,106 --> 00:01:49,007
Who built our
beautiful railroads.
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We could keep this one and just
say like, "Thanks, China."
39
00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:54,012
This one was always like,
you know...
40
00:01:54,013 --> 00:01:56,215
That's just D'Angelo
with a shirt on.
41
00:01:56,216 --> 00:01:58,150
- I don't know who that is.
- Remind me?
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00:01:58,151 --> 00:01:59,318
Remember he did the video
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where he was almost naked
in it?
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00:02:01,154 --> 00:02:03,722
Yes.
Oh, my gosh, that guy.
45
00:02:03,723 --> 00:02:04,756
That's not R. Kelly.
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00:02:04,757 --> 00:02:06,024
- D'Angelo.
- Really?
47
00:02:06,025 --> 00:02:07,459
Who's the guy that hides
in the closet
48
00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:08,794
with Bridget the Midget?
49
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:10,362
- R. Kelly.
- That's not D'Angelo.
50
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:11,697
- No.
- That's not D'Angelo.
51
00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,799
- Then who is this?
- D'Angelo!
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00:02:16,836 --> 00:02:19,872
{\an8}Today, we are here
to make a difference.
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{\an8}Nobody likes seeing rollers
in their back window.
54
00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:24,176
We're gonna change that
right now.
55
00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:27,913
So instead of a moving
violation ticket, this is a...
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00:02:27,914 --> 00:02:30,048
- Movie ticket.
- Moving picture ticket.
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00:02:30,049 --> 00:02:31,950
Moving picture ticket.
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00:02:31,951 --> 00:02:33,118
So the good people
at New Line
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00:02:33,119 --> 00:02:34,620
gave us a bunch
of free tickets.
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00:02:34,621 --> 00:02:35,587
Maybe they're trying to get
rid of them, I don't know.
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00:02:35,588 --> 00:02:36,755
J.Lo and Awkwafina.
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00:02:36,756 --> 00:02:37,856
Awkwafina.
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00:02:37,857 --> 00:02:38,991
Yeah.
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00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,292
- Keegan-Michael Key.
- Yep.
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00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,027
And the frown emoji
are all in this picture.
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00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:43,328
- I can't wait.
- You know what?
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00:02:43,329 --> 00:02:45,197
The frown emoji just
is his own character now.
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00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:46,565
Yeah, I'm gonna take
a couple of these for myself.
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00:02:46,566 --> 00:02:47,933
Yeah, you bet you--
I bet you will.
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00:02:47,934 --> 00:02:49,568
So instead of ruining
his morning,
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we're gonna make his day.
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00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:52,004
Turn that frown upside down, huh?
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00:02:52,005 --> 00:02:53,372
- Let's do it.
- Ready?
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00:02:53,373 --> 00:02:55,274
both: Surprise!
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00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:58,043
Oh, shit.
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00:02:58,044 --> 00:02:59,545
Son of a fart.
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00:03:00,647 --> 00:03:02,548
Hang on.
- He's dead.
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00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:04,950
Ah, shit.
- Hey, guys.
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00:03:04,951 --> 00:03:06,251
We have a cardiac stroke.
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00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,588
We're at Reese Witherspoon
and 8th.
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00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:10,689
I guess we have a heart attack.
82
00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,125
I guess you have to send--
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00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:16,094
At, uh...
84
00:03:16,095 --> 00:03:19,064
At the intersection of--
maybe it's 4th.
85
00:03:19,065 --> 00:03:20,899
They renamed all the streets.
It's so confusing.
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00:03:20,900 --> 00:03:23,201
So yeah, this is
Reese Witherspoon Avenue.
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00:03:23,202 --> 00:03:25,237
- Yeah, and then...
- Yeah, and it goes up
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00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,972
to Jar Jar Binks Place
at the end there.
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00:03:26,973 --> 00:03:28,840
- That was a fucking--
- It was a bad idea.
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00:03:28,841 --> 00:03:30,342
I said it at the time.
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00:03:30,343 --> 00:03:31,743
All the [indistinct] came in
and they're like,
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00:03:31,744 --> 00:03:33,011
"Adopt the street,
adopt the street,"
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00:03:33,012 --> 00:03:34,279
and we just went with
fucking anybody.
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00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:35,280
Jar Jar Binks.
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00:03:49,562 --> 00:03:51,931
Good morning,
prince charming.
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00:03:53,533 --> 00:03:55,400
You remember why
we pulled you in here?
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00:03:55,401 --> 00:03:57,703
You wanna remind me,
blue eyes?
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00:03:57,704 --> 00:04:00,172
You, uh, you flunked
a field sobriety test
99
00:04:00,173 --> 00:04:01,873
and we impounded you, Harley.
100
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,675
Oh, shit.
101
00:04:03,676 --> 00:04:06,112
Can I ask you a question?
- Sure.
102
00:04:07,947 --> 00:04:09,481
You really a cop,
103
00:04:09,482 --> 00:04:13,752
or are you a movie star
doing research to play a cop?
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00:04:16,489 --> 00:04:17,789
Yeah, listen.
105
00:04:17,790 --> 00:04:20,092
There's no need to flirt
with me, all right?
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00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:24,029
Even though you--
you do tick off about
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00:04:24,030 --> 00:04:27,332
three of the boxes
of the type of guy I like.
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00:04:27,333 --> 00:04:29,234
If I could do magic,
109
00:04:29,235 --> 00:04:32,304
I'd put you and me
in a genie bottle--
110
00:04:32,305 --> 00:04:33,739
cast us off to sea...
111
00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:36,808
And have us wash up,
112
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Los Cabos,
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mid-December, blue...
114
00:04:41,381 --> 00:04:43,682
both: Whale migration season.
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00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:45,250
Exactly.
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00:04:45,251 --> 00:04:48,186
Whisk off to Sammy Hagar's
for some peel and eating shrimp
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00:04:48,187 --> 00:04:52,391
and then some
clamato margatinis.
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00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:56,028
You had me
at cla-mah-to margatinis.
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00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,697
You say cla-mah-to.
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00:04:58,698 --> 00:05:01,066
I say clamato.
121
00:05:01,067 --> 00:05:03,435
And you know what I would say
if I were a blue whale?
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00:05:03,436 --> 00:05:06,271
Mm-mm?
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00:05:06,272 --> 00:05:09,375
Mmm.
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00:05:16,549 --> 00:05:18,216
{\an8}Sheriff's Department.
125
00:05:18,217 --> 00:05:21,353
{\an8}Oh.
Hello.
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00:05:21,354 --> 00:05:22,888
- Hey, bud.
- Oh, wow.
127
00:05:22,889 --> 00:05:24,322
- Morning.
- Mike.
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00:05:24,323 --> 00:05:26,692
- Hey.
- Is this your place, Mike?
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00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:29,261
Yes.
Welcome to my new place.
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00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:30,362
Yeah.
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00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:35,867
- That is a very strange...
- Yeah.
132
00:05:35,868 --> 00:05:38,036
- Isn't that question?
- You called 911?
133
00:05:38,037 --> 00:05:40,405
Could--it could have been
134
00:05:40,406 --> 00:05:42,474
the De--Dennis.
135
00:05:42,475 --> 00:05:45,777
- Dennis
- De--Dennis.
136
00:05:45,778 --> 00:05:49,748
Dennis, is that the guy
in the bear suit's, Dennis?
137
00:05:49,749 --> 00:05:52,551
No.
I don't know him or her.
138
00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:54,886
Thank you for being sexist.
Me too.
139
00:05:54,887 --> 00:05:58,390
- You said his name was Dennis.
- Welcome to cancel culture.
140
00:05:58,391 --> 00:06:00,559
It could be a female bear.
141
00:06:00,560 --> 00:06:03,128
Mike, think back and tell us,
142
00:06:03,129 --> 00:06:06,565
can you remember anything,
why we should stay here.
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00:06:06,566 --> 00:06:10,068
I was concerned about
a bottom, a nude bottom.
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00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,672
Oh.
145
00:06:13,673 --> 00:06:15,741
You don't know this guy?
- I don't know that bottom.
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00:06:15,742 --> 00:06:19,411
And I don't know where
that dirty bottom came from.
147
00:06:19,412 --> 00:06:21,146
Hello?
You don't know this gentleman?
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00:06:21,147 --> 00:06:23,281
It's--well,
I call him Dennis.
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00:06:23,282 --> 00:06:25,217
- Dennis.
- Sir.
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- Dennis.
- Sir, is your name Dennis?
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00:06:28,121 --> 00:06:29,421
Dennis!
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Sir, you want
to turn around here?
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00:06:30,823 --> 00:06:33,592
Mi nombre es Denis
y no hablo inglés.
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00:06:36,162 --> 00:06:37,796
- I think he's French.
- Dangle?
155
00:06:37,797 --> 00:06:39,998
- I know that anywhere.
- Jim, it's not you, is it?
156
00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:41,366
No.
And here's why.
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00:06:41,367 --> 00:06:42,467
Oh.
158
00:06:42,468 --> 00:06:43,769
- And here's why.
- Yeah.
159
00:06:43,770 --> 00:06:45,137
- Can I have a moment please?
- Yep.
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00:06:45,138 --> 00:06:47,305
We are judging you, though.
That's all.
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Oh, because I'm the only
grown man in this room
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00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,410
who ever got himself,
163
00:06:52,411 --> 00:06:53,945
Winnie The Pooh-ed
in a glory hole.
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00:06:53,946 --> 00:06:55,413
I'm not on trial here!
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00:06:55,414 --> 00:06:56,581
- No.
- No.
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00:06:56,582 --> 00:06:57,749
This is--I thought
this was America,
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the last time I checked.
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00:06:58,951 --> 00:07:01,119
It is America,
last time he checked!
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00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:02,387
Do you want us
to get your dick
170
00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:04,156
out of the door or--
or what's going on?
171
00:07:04,157 --> 00:07:05,323
- Try that.
- All right.
172
00:07:05,324 --> 00:07:07,392
One, two.
173
00:07:11,030 --> 00:07:13,398
- I have a question.
- Cherisha.
174
00:07:13,399 --> 00:07:16,868
Is your member tumescent
at this moment?
175
00:07:16,869 --> 00:07:18,236
- Sorry?
- What?
176
00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:19,771
- What's the word now?
- Is your dick hard?
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00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:21,840
Do you think my softie
got stuck?
178
00:07:21,841 --> 00:07:23,175
- Well, let's see if we can--
- Can you jimmy it?
179
00:07:23,176 --> 00:07:24,342
- Let's get--oh.
- Oh.
180
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:25,644
all: Oh!
181
00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:27,145
Oh, oh!
182
00:07:27,146 --> 00:07:28,313
- Okay.
- Oh!
183
00:07:28,314 --> 00:07:29,614
Oh.
184
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:30,949
Careful.
185
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,151
Okay. One, two, three.
186
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:34,886
Turn, turn.
187
00:07:34,887 --> 00:07:36,321
All right, you're good.
- Very calm.
188
00:07:36,322 --> 00:07:38,023
All right. Just a little bit.
Just a little bit.
189
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,324
We got it.
We got it.
190
00:07:39,325 --> 00:07:40,559
We got it.
191
00:07:40,560 --> 00:07:41,860
Jim, get your fingers
off the wall.
192
00:07:41,861 --> 00:07:43,094
This is it--the bummer is this
193
00:07:43,095 --> 00:07:44,529
is the second time
this has happened.
194
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:45,931
- We got it.
- Oh, come on.
195
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:56,308
{\an8}Good morning.
196
00:07:56,309 --> 00:07:59,144
{\an8}My name is
Lieutenant James Ron Dangle
197
00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,680
{\an8}of the Reno Sheriff's
Department.
198
00:08:01,681 --> 00:08:03,515
A statement that I made
on what was--
199
00:08:03,516 --> 00:08:05,684
what's called
a hot microphone--
200
00:08:05,685 --> 00:08:07,352
this has gone around
on social media
201
00:08:07,353 --> 00:08:09,788
and in the fake news media.
202
00:08:09,789 --> 00:08:11,356
And it sounds like I referred
203
00:08:11,357 --> 00:08:16,528
to the Reno City Council
as the Klan.
204
00:08:16,529 --> 00:08:21,700
And I said
I would no sooner, uh,
205
00:08:21,701 --> 00:08:24,436
shake hands with most
of the Reno City Council
206
00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:26,638
as I would with the Klan.
207
00:08:26,639 --> 00:08:28,607
Now, I think
208
00:08:28,608 --> 00:08:32,878
anyone who knows me
knows full well,
209
00:08:32,879 --> 00:08:36,681
when I say that,
that I was referring to RZA,
210
00:08:36,682 --> 00:08:40,485
GZA, Ghostface Killah,
211
00:08:40,486 --> 00:08:45,223
Old Dirty Bastard,
aka, Big Baby Jesus.
212
00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:48,226
I meant the Wu-Tang Cl--
the wonderful,
213
00:08:48,227 --> 00:08:51,563
precious,
precious Wu-Tang Clan.
214
00:08:51,564 --> 00:08:54,199
So if I ever said,
215
00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:59,070
oh, the Reno City Council
is the clan,
216
00:08:59,071 --> 00:09:02,841
that's gotta be--that's gotta
be seen as a positive.
217
00:09:07,546 --> 00:09:09,614
Why don't you have
a wedding ring?
218
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:13,051
I had one, you know,
but I messed up.
219
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:15,754
I think I got hitched
a little too early.
220
00:09:15,755 --> 00:09:17,522
We had this little girl, and...
221
00:09:17,523 --> 00:09:20,892
- Well, kids ruin everything.
- Mm-hmm.
222
00:09:20,893 --> 00:09:22,694
I didn't know my dad.
223
00:09:22,695 --> 00:09:26,331
Anyway, all I know about him
is he, uh,
224
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:31,336
he's really hot and he had
the strangest tattoo.
225
00:09:31,337 --> 00:09:35,540
It's like, "Fuck Newt Gingrich"
right here.
226
00:09:35,541 --> 00:09:38,209
- Fuck...
- "Fuck Newt Gingrich."
227
00:09:38,210 --> 00:09:39,711
Did you say
"Fuck Newt Gingrich"?
228
00:09:39,712 --> 00:09:41,112
Yes.
229
00:09:41,113 --> 00:09:42,547
You mean like this
"Fuck Newt Gingrich" tattoo?
230
00:09:42,548 --> 00:09:43,916
Oh!
231
00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:51,122
Gross.
232
00:09:51,123 --> 00:09:54,726
I guess some of that
got awful weird, huh?
233
00:09:54,727 --> 00:09:56,094
It's fine.
234
00:09:56,095 --> 00:09:57,495
Well, I didn't know
you was my little girl.
235
00:09:57,496 --> 00:09:59,097
Yeah, we didn't know.
We didn't know.
236
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:00,398
No, we didn't know.
237
00:10:00,399 --> 00:10:03,001
Anything I said to you
as a whale, I take back.
238
00:10:06,038 --> 00:10:08,773
I'm sorry, baby.
239
00:10:08,774 --> 00:10:10,308
I'm sorry I was a deadbeat.
240
00:10:10,309 --> 00:10:14,279
You know that Harley
I got parked outside?
241
00:10:14,280 --> 00:10:15,747
I want you to have it.
242
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:18,316
No, I can't let you do that.
Are you sure?
243
00:10:18,317 --> 00:10:20,218
I'm su--baby.
244
00:10:20,219 --> 00:10:22,154
You got to let me
do this for you.
245
00:10:24,690 --> 00:10:28,426
Fuck Newt Gingrich.
That's what it says.
246
00:10:28,427 --> 00:10:30,829
Yeah.
Fuck him for all of time.
247
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,803
{\an8}- Morning, gang.
248
00:10:41,140 --> 00:10:44,142
I know there has been
a lot of, um,
249
00:10:44,143 --> 00:10:46,811
sort of Monday morning
quarterbacking
250
00:10:46,812 --> 00:10:48,847
about the altercation.
251
00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:50,715
Legal and H&R,
252
00:10:50,716 --> 00:10:53,852
and, well, the attorneys here
253
00:10:53,853 --> 00:10:56,354
have gotten us all the footage.
254
00:10:58,057 --> 00:10:59,524
You let him go.
255
00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:00,859
Stop!
256
00:11:00,860 --> 00:11:02,227
No, dude.
257
00:11:02,228 --> 00:11:03,895
Hey, man,
you're gonna get in trouble.
258
00:11:03,896 --> 00:11:05,463
- Oh, boy.
- What're you doing?
259
00:11:05,464 --> 00:11:06,631
- It ain't worth it, dude.
- Get off of her!
260
00:11:06,632 --> 00:11:08,166
Get the fuck off of...
261
00:11:08,167 --> 00:11:09,300
- Yeah.
- Oh.
262
00:11:09,301 --> 00:11:10,835
Oh, man.
263
00:11:10,836 --> 00:11:12,303
- Oh!
- Oh!
264
00:11:12,304 --> 00:11:13,571
Oh.
265
00:11:13,572 --> 00:11:16,374
I think this is
all one big family.
266
00:11:16,375 --> 00:11:19,811
People said all these folks
came in the same minivan.
267
00:11:19,812 --> 00:11:22,013
Do you think the fight
came up at the store
268
00:11:22,014 --> 00:11:24,616
or they went to the store
to have the fight?
269
00:11:24,617 --> 00:11:26,718
Oh, this is a great--
this is a great chicken.
270
00:11:26,719 --> 00:11:28,620
Ah.
271
00:11:28,621 --> 00:11:30,989
The doctor said you have
a hairline fracture.
272
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,390
- I know.
- You turn one too many times,
273
00:11:32,391 --> 00:11:34,325
your head's gonna snap.
274
00:11:34,326 --> 00:11:37,128
Put her down!
275
00:11:37,129 --> 00:11:39,130
Put her down!
276
00:11:39,131 --> 00:11:41,833
Back up.
Back up, everybody. Back up.
277
00:11:43,335 --> 00:11:45,370
Help! Help! Help!
278
00:11:45,371 --> 00:11:47,539
- Where did Trudy--
- Where did Trudy even go?
279
00:11:47,540 --> 00:11:49,340
Get your ass down there!
280
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:51,176
Well, at first, I thought
I could get away
281
00:11:51,177 --> 00:11:52,911
from it all by, um,
282
00:11:52,912 --> 00:11:55,380
by--as you can see,
pretending to be a mannequin.
283
00:11:55,381 --> 00:11:57,348
{\an8}- Is that you?
- Mm-hmm.
284
00:11:57,349 --> 00:11:58,950
{\an8}- So you took off
all your clothes?
285
00:11:58,951 --> 00:12:02,620
{\an8}- I made a pretty convincing
underwear mannequin.
286
00:12:02,621 --> 00:12:04,722
{\an8}Oh, my--oh.
Trudy, Trudy!
287
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:06,424
Rizzo's peeing a little bit
right there.
288
00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:09,461
Yeah, well, that's been an
issue for me for a long time.
289
00:12:09,462 --> 00:12:10,895
Oh, that was unrelated
to the chuckle.
290
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,097
That was unrelated.
291
00:12:12,098 --> 00:12:15,400
{\an8}Time out, family.
Everybody keep--
292
00:12:15,401 --> 00:12:17,135
{\an8}- Oh, ooh.
293
00:12:17,136 --> 00:12:19,170
He was twisting my scrotum and
then I got him in the face.
294
00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:22,774
Well,
right in the mouth, man.
295
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:24,008
That guy could
pro wrestle.
296
00:12:24,009 --> 00:12:26,111
{\an8}He's got the right build.
- Big guy.
297
00:12:26,112 --> 00:12:27,679
{\an8}- Get your hands off--
298
00:12:27,680 --> 00:12:29,614
{\an8}- Hey.
- Hands off me!
299
00:12:29,615 --> 00:12:33,384
{\an8}-
- What's up, what's up?
300
00:12:33,385 --> 00:12:36,421
{\an8}- This starts off good.
She's--she's doing well here.
301
00:12:36,422 --> 00:12:37,822
{\an8}- Yeah.
302
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,924
{\an8}- There's a version of Zumba
where you fight.
303
00:12:39,925 --> 00:12:41,693
- Jazz tap-bone.
- Yeah.
304
00:12:44,130 --> 00:12:45,530
Oh!
305
00:12:45,531 --> 00:12:46,998
- You--
- I tried to save you here.
306
00:12:46,999 --> 00:12:49,000
You come in and you got this
guy real good with a bat,
307
00:12:49,001 --> 00:12:50,668
but that guy
was saving my life.
308
00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:51,669
- Oh.
- Oh!
309
00:12:51,670 --> 00:12:52,971
I was--I was--
310
00:12:52,972 --> 00:12:55,673
I fell back to regroup
with a churro,
311
00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:57,408
and it went down
the wrong pipe.
312
00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,611
And that
underwear guy was--
313
00:12:59,612 --> 00:13:00,845
No, no, he does--
he saves your life.
314
00:13:00,846 --> 00:13:02,147
Look at that.
315
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:03,681
Yeah, the one guy
you took out,
316
00:13:03,682 --> 00:13:06,985
he was actually a--
it was friendly fire.
317
00:13:06,986 --> 00:13:09,921
You fucking white-ass,
fucking trick. Yeah!
318
00:13:09,922 --> 00:13:11,823
What did you do to make
the little midget so mad?
319
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:14,159
I really don't know--
oh, no, wait, wait.
320
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,161
all: Oh.
321
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:17,328
Apparently dragging me
322
00:13:17,329 --> 00:13:18,963
damaged that scooter
a little bit.
323
00:13:18,964 --> 00:13:21,633
- Oh, yeah.
- So I guess I gotta--
324
00:13:21,634 --> 00:13:23,968
the station has
to reimburse her for that.
325
00:13:23,969 --> 00:13:26,905
So what does it mean when
you're--when you're trending?
326
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:29,407
The Reno Sheriff's Department
was trending
327
00:13:29,408 --> 00:13:30,975
when this was happening,
is that good?
328
00:13:30,976 --> 00:13:33,144
- Oh, detergent.
- Bleach.
329
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:34,913
That's just straight up
bleach, I guess.
330
00:13:34,914 --> 00:13:36,247
What do you call that?
331
00:13:36,248 --> 00:13:37,649
Were you conscious for that?
332
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:40,285
Might've been some version
of like, Borax--ah!
333
00:13:40,286 --> 00:13:41,953
- Ah!
- Don't turn.
334
00:13:41,954 --> 00:13:43,821
It says on the box,
"Don't put that in your eyes."
335
00:13:43,822 --> 00:13:44,822
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
336
00:13:44,823 --> 00:13:46,157
Wait a second.
337
00:13:46,158 --> 00:13:48,092
You were there too though.
338
00:13:48,093 --> 00:13:50,863
Why do you--why are you
totally unscathed?
339
00:13:54,900 --> 00:13:55,833
{\an8}- Oh.
- Hero.
340
00:13:55,834 --> 00:13:57,001
{\an8}- Oh.
- Oh.
341
00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:58,636
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
342
00:13:58,637 --> 00:14:00,838
I mean, I guess,
the answer is,
343
00:14:00,839 --> 00:14:02,540
we're gonna see
all these people again in court
344
00:14:02,541 --> 00:14:03,875
'cause we're suing them, so...
345
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,914
How do you like my new bike?
346
00:14:09,915 --> 00:14:11,983
That wasn't my dad.
347
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,586
I'm not that gross.
Come on.
348
00:14:14,587 --> 00:14:17,488
I saw that tattoo when
he was booked and I thought,
349
00:14:17,489 --> 00:14:19,357
well, I'm gonna have
a little fun with him.
350
00:14:19,358 --> 00:14:22,894
And just for the record, my dad
owns an erotic puppet theater
351
00:14:22,895 --> 00:14:25,363
in Tallahassee
and has to stay at least
352
00:14:25,364 --> 00:14:27,832
1,000 yards away from me
at all times.
353
00:14:38,110 --> 00:14:42,013
Hello, my name is Nora
and I'm 85 years young.
354
00:14:42,014 --> 00:14:44,682
Did you know that
in Washoe County,
355
00:14:44,683 --> 00:14:49,087
a senior citizen is the subject
of physical or emotional abuse
356
00:14:49,088 --> 00:14:50,855
every seven minutes?
357
00:14:50,856 --> 00:14:54,125
That means that
the "proba-ba-lility" is high
358
00:14:54,126 --> 00:14:56,894
that--that you know some--
- No, no.
359
00:14:56,895 --> 00:14:58,696
Stop.
Stop!
360
00:14:58,697 --> 00:15:00,498
What's the word?
361
00:15:00,499 --> 00:15:02,200
Which word?
362
00:15:02,201 --> 00:15:03,668
The one you fucked up.
363
00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:05,536
I did--did I--did I--
364
00:15:05,537 --> 00:15:06,671
You didn't notice
that you fucked up?
365
00:15:06,672 --> 00:15:07,872
No, I didn't notice.
I didn't--
366
00:15:07,873 --> 00:15:09,173
So you didn't--
so you missed a part.
367
00:15:09,174 --> 00:15:10,975
Let me roll back the tape.
368
00:15:12,678 --> 00:15:14,245
The fuck was that?
369
00:15:14,246 --> 00:15:15,813
- In which--
- Probability. Probability.
370
00:15:15,814 --> 00:15:17,715
- Oh.
- Probability.
371
00:15:17,716 --> 00:15:18,916
- Oh.
- Now you're scared.
372
00:15:18,917 --> 00:15:20,084
- No.
- No, no, no.
373
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,486
You're not scared of me.
- No.
374
00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:22,887
You're just a scared
little old lady.
375
00:15:22,888 --> 00:15:24,155
- Yes.
- Somebody's gonna crack you.
376
00:15:24,156 --> 00:15:25,523
- Yes.
- Yeah. Okay?
377
00:15:25,524 --> 00:15:26,557
- Okay.
- So.
378
00:15:26,558 --> 00:15:27,959
Probability, probability.
379
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,228
And--
- Hello.
380
00:15:30,229 --> 00:15:31,729
Are you just gonna go
whenever you want?
381
00:15:31,730 --> 00:15:32,730
No, I'm sorry.
No, no, no, I'll wait.
382
00:15:32,731 --> 00:15:33,731
It's okay.
I'm not--
383
00:15:33,732 --> 00:15:34,966
Francisco, I'm not mad at you.
384
00:15:34,967 --> 00:15:38,002
She's just fucking--
you're fucking me!
385
00:15:38,003 --> 00:15:39,470
You're fucking me.
386
00:15:39,471 --> 00:15:41,005
Come here.
Come here.
387
00:15:41,006 --> 00:15:42,740
Come here. Come here.
388
00:15:42,741 --> 00:15:43,975
Are you crying?
- No.
389
00:15:43,976 --> 00:15:45,009
Okay.
Don't fucking cry.
390
00:15:45,010 --> 00:15:45,977
- No, I won't.
- Don't you cry.
391
00:15:45,978 --> 00:15:47,078
No.
392
00:15:47,079 --> 00:15:49,047
Did you know that
in Washoe County,
393
00:15:49,048 --> 00:15:53,551
a senior citizen is the subject
of physical or emotional abuse
394
00:15:53,552 --> 00:15:55,520
every seven minutes?
395
00:15:55,521 --> 00:15:57,488
That means that
the "probababili"--
396
00:15:57,489 --> 00:15:59,023
Fuck it!
Fuck it!
397
00:15:59,024 --> 00:16:00,258
I swear to God, I want to--
398
00:16:00,259 --> 00:16:02,460
I want to kill you
right now so bad.
399
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:12,904
Let's do one just for fun.
400
00:16:12,905 --> 00:16:15,807
A senior citizen
is the subject of physical
401
00:16:15,808 --> 00:16:19,577
or emotional abuse
every seven minutes.
402
00:16:19,578 --> 00:16:21,212
Well, that means that the--
403
00:16:21,213 --> 00:16:22,413
Probability!
404
00:16:22,414 --> 00:16:26,384
Probability is high
405
00:16:26,385 --> 00:16:28,586
that you know someone
406
00:16:28,587 --> 00:16:31,956
who has been abused by someone.
407
00:16:31,957 --> 00:16:34,859
That's why help
is always there
408
00:16:34,860 --> 00:16:38,730
if you call
the Reno Sheriff's Department.
409
00:16:38,731 --> 00:16:40,531
Because we care.
410
00:16:40,532 --> 00:16:43,634
We have to care.
411
00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:02,120
{\an8}In order to--to get certified
to use a taser,
412
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:03,654
you have to get tasered.
413
00:17:03,655 --> 00:17:07,325
So this is for--for Garcia
here, but you gotta loosen up.
414
00:17:07,326 --> 00:17:08,426
I don't know why
it has to be me.
415
00:17:08,427 --> 00:17:09,961
Taser day, Taser day.
416
00:17:09,962 --> 00:17:11,596
all: Taser day, Taser day,
Taser day.
417
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,164
- How about--
- No, no.
418
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:16,200
Of course, I'm not gonna--
wait, are we good?
419
00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:17,368
No.
No, I won't.
420
00:17:17,369 --> 00:17:18,770
- Loosen up.
- Come on.
421
00:17:18,771 --> 00:17:20,805
Do we have any towels
in case of a poopy time?
422
00:17:20,806 --> 00:17:23,708
- Did you shit already?
- No. Nobody told me to.
423
00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,177
- Oh, you should shit--
- Hey, I'm behind this.
424
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:28,146
If he gonna evacuate himself,
I don't want to be here.
425
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:29,514
- Well, he's got--
- Got your boots on?
426
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:30,982
You got your boots on.
427
00:17:30,983 --> 00:17:32,617
I know I'm not gonna
take it today, but I did take
428
00:17:32,618 --> 00:17:35,686
a really big shit this morning.
So just for the record,
429
00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:37,121
if anyone needs to write
anything down about that.
430
00:17:37,122 --> 00:17:38,289
Do I do it?
Do I do it?
431
00:17:38,290 --> 00:17:39,757
- Tase her face.
- Tase her face.
432
00:17:39,758 --> 00:17:41,659
all: Tase her face.
Tase her face.
433
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:42,693
That was so sad.
434
00:17:42,694 --> 00:17:43,828
- Yeah.
- Oh, my God.
435
00:17:43,829 --> 00:17:45,096
I was half hoping
you would just--
436
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:47,165
I know.
God, that was--Jesus Christ.
437
00:17:47,166 --> 00:17:49,367
That might've been the
saddest thing I've ever seen.
438
00:17:49,368 --> 00:17:50,601
All right.
All right?
439
00:17:50,602 --> 00:17:51,869
All right, loosen up.
You can do it.
440
00:17:51,870 --> 00:17:54,439
Now I'm really gonna do it
with no warning.
441
00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:56,007
- No.
- Funf.
442
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:57,175
That's so confusing.
443
00:17:57,176 --> 00:17:59,343
Whoa!
444
00:17:59,344 --> 00:18:02,814
Dang it. Dang it.
Oh, dang it. He's arcing.
445
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:03,981
Am I not supposed
to keep doing that?
446
00:18:03,982 --> 00:18:05,216
No, no, no, no.
all: No, no, no, no.
447
00:18:10,022 --> 00:18:11,055
{\an8}What time did the train
come through?
448
00:18:11,056 --> 00:18:12,390
{\an8}Does anybody know?
449
00:18:12,391 --> 00:18:13,591
{\an8}Hey, guys,
let me get a shot of you
450
00:18:13,592 --> 00:18:14,659
{\an8}before we get
into the whole thing.
451
00:18:14,660 --> 00:18:16,027
{\an8}- Okay, yeah.
- Yeah.
452
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:17,361
Get in.
453
00:18:17,362 --> 00:18:19,063
We hardly ever get pictures
of ourselves.
454
00:18:19,064 --> 00:18:20,398
Hey, buddy, get this.
455
00:18:20,399 --> 00:18:21,766
all: Cheese.
- Okay.
456
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,067
Okay. You weren't ready?
457
00:18:23,068 --> 00:18:25,403
- I was blinking.
- Hey, do me a favor.
458
00:18:25,404 --> 00:18:29,507
Stand there and flag the light.
I'm getting like a shine.
459
00:18:29,508 --> 00:18:31,108
Get it over there
so your shadow falls on it.
460
00:18:31,109 --> 00:18:32,677
I feel like we're really
getting wrapped around
461
00:18:32,678 --> 00:18:34,378
the wheel on taking
beautiful photographs.
462
00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:37,048
Yeah, I don't think they have
to be that nice. I think--
463
00:18:37,049 --> 00:18:39,851
- Hey, hey, hey, get in there.
- Hang on. Hang on. Hang on.
464
00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:41,319
- Somebody's phone.
- Look, look, look.
465
00:18:41,320 --> 00:18:42,520
- Oh.
- Okay.
466
00:18:42,521 --> 00:18:43,754
Oh. Look at that.
467
00:18:43,755 --> 00:18:45,256
all: Ooh.
468
00:18:45,257 --> 00:18:46,524
They're all singing
in the car, little dress ups.
469
00:18:46,525 --> 00:18:48,059
- Oh.
- Oh, it's like they were doing
470
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,994
that little
car sing-along thing.
471
00:18:49,995 --> 00:18:52,263
That is, I would guess
from a cavity.
472
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:54,665
I was gonna say,
Skimbleshanks.
473
00:18:54,666 --> 00:18:56,434
No, Skimbleshanks
is the railway cat.
474
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:58,269
And is this
Rum Tum Tugger then?
475
00:18:58,270 --> 00:19:00,104
Or what--what is this for?
- Rum Tum Tugger was vibing.
476
00:19:00,105 --> 00:19:01,606
- Why are you naming the guy?
- I don't know.
477
00:19:01,607 --> 00:19:03,241
Well, this is--I'm just
calling out the makeup.
478
00:19:03,242 --> 00:19:04,509
Was that there the whole time?
479
00:19:04,510 --> 00:19:06,544
- Yeah.
- All of them. What's that?
480
00:19:06,545 --> 00:19:08,880
- That's another full cadaver.
- Is that Snarf?
481
00:19:08,881 --> 00:19:10,748
- Two, three--
- Is that Snarf?
482
00:19:10,749 --> 00:19:12,149
- What do you got?
- Bustopher Jones.
483
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:13,150
I mean, there's no question.
That's him.
484
00:19:13,151 --> 00:19:14,318
Yeah.
485
00:19:14,319 --> 00:19:15,520
He's with his top hat
and spats.
486
00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:17,722
Is there ever a version
of Rum Tum Tugger
487
00:19:17,723 --> 00:19:21,259
that's like sleeveless
'cause he's so sexy?
488
00:19:21,260 --> 00:19:23,761
'Cause I got
a unsleeved arm over here.
489
00:19:23,762 --> 00:19:25,963
You know, I feel like
the moral of the story is,
490
00:19:25,964 --> 00:19:29,233
not everyone is built
to be able to wear a unitard.
491
00:19:29,234 --> 00:19:31,569
- Oh, my gosh, you're right.
- I think that's truer words.
492
00:19:31,570 --> 00:19:35,573
With--with great unitards
comes great responsibility.
493
00:19:35,574 --> 00:19:37,542
- Mr. Mistoffelees.
- Mr. Mistoffelees.
494
00:19:37,543 --> 00:19:39,577
Oh, my God.
495
00:19:39,578 --> 00:19:42,580
No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
496
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:44,148
Oh, no.
497
00:19:44,149 --> 00:19:46,083
- No, no, no, no, no.
- Aww, man.
498
00:19:46,084 --> 00:19:48,219
No, no.
499
00:19:48,220 --> 00:19:50,488
God damn it!
500
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:52,790
Why!
501
00:19:52,791 --> 00:19:54,825
Okay, the actors
in the leotards
502
00:19:54,826 --> 00:19:56,027
are starting
to smell like shit.
503
00:19:56,028 --> 00:19:56,994
Let's get them out of here.
- Yeah.
504
00:19:56,995 --> 00:19:58,129
Do you want to load them,
505
00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,330
or do you want
to burn them here?
506
00:19:59,331 --> 00:20:00,498
I guess technically
we're supposed
507
00:20:00,499 --> 00:20:02,333
to probably
not burn them onsite.
508
00:20:02,334 --> 00:20:03,668
Hey, Frank, once I--
509
00:20:03,669 --> 00:20:05,736
just, just go to color bars
for a second.
510
00:20:17,983 --> 00:20:22,386
{\an8}What to call
our feline friend,
511
00:20:22,387 --> 00:20:24,422
whose name we did not know?
512
00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:27,892
When we meet on the other side
of the rainbow bridge,
513
00:20:27,893 --> 00:20:30,227
I will call you good kitty.
514
00:20:30,228 --> 00:20:32,597
Good, good kitty.
515
00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:36,100
Go now...
516
00:20:36,101 --> 00:20:40,571
into your tenth life.
517
00:20:40,572 --> 00:20:41,906
Sergeant.
518
00:20:41,907 --> 00:20:45,610
Company, attention!
519
00:20:45,611 --> 00:20:47,412
Port up!
520
00:20:49,548 --> 00:20:51,048
Aim!
521
00:20:51,049 --> 00:20:53,117
Fire!
522
00:20:53,118 --> 00:20:54,452
Aim!
523
00:20:54,453 --> 00:20:56,420
Fire!
524
00:20:56,421 --> 00:20:58,357
Aim! Fire!
525
00:20:59,625 --> 00:21:02,627
Aim! Fire!
526
00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:03,995
Aim!
527
00:21:03,996 --> 00:21:05,730
Fire!
528
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:10,768
It's supposed to be 21, 22...
529
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,304
Oh, one more.
21.
530
00:21:15,107 --> 00:21:16,441
Right? Got it.
- Yeah.
37800
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