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♪ MTV ♪
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Proceed with caution.
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10-14.
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Oh, God.
Hey.
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Hey, kid.
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Hey, officer.
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Out of the pool.
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Do you live here?
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Shit.
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I'm in the wrong place.
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Whoo!
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{\an8}Ah!
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Oh!
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{\an8}Holy shit!
15
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{\an8}Go!
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{\an8}- Ooh.
Ooh, ooh, ooh.
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Ooh, it's early.
- Good morning, gang.
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Good morning.
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If you're doing, like,
an impression of that, like,
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like a guy who has no voice.
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It's awesome.
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I'm your dad.
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I'm probably dying.
24
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What's that?
25
00:02:03,022 --> 00:02:04,957
Uncle Frederick's going
to look after you now.
26
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But Uncle Frederick didn't.
27
00:02:06,192 --> 00:02:08,193
You---whew.
He'd look after me.
28
00:02:10,363 --> 00:02:14,633
Uh, who signed up for mandatory
coyote hazing?
29
00:02:14,634 --> 00:02:18,036
Okay. Well, if you did sign up,
30
00:02:18,037 --> 00:02:19,605
report tonight, okay?
31
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And then we'll go in the dark
from--we'll go from there.
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Garcia asked to make
an announcement.
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I have been summoned by the
U.S. Department of Justice,
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Immigration,
Customs Enforcement.
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Okay.
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Apparently, I was born
outside the great walls
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of this country.
I have been informed,
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I am an alien present
in the United States
39
00:02:41,060 --> 00:02:43,662
who has not been admitted
or paroled.
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Salsipuedes is where
they tracked my family.
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I don't know. Is that a--
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Salsipuedes, it's near
Rosarito, apparently.
43
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- Oh, other side.
- Other side.
44
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You're one of the most
fanatical Americans I know.
45
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- This is why it hurts so much.
- Right.
46
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So you're going to go
and live in one of them cages?
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As of now I'm going
to self deport.
48
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Be careful 'cause I think
they're caging the ones
49
00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:04,783
that turn themselves in too.
50
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You'll get caged for sure.
Unless--yeah.
51
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Listen, I've been
put in a cage before.
52
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It's not as bad as it sounds.
53
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{\an8}Raineesha and I are on duty
here at the hospital.
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{\an8}We're supposed to hang out
and wait for this guy
55
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to wake up from his coma
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so we can take his statement
and then take him off to jail.
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He's some kind of gangster guy.
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I'm assuming because his name
apparently
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is Little Primo Vasquez.
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I have some flowers
for Mr. Vasquez.
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Oh, thank you.
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Did you see
how he looked at you?
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I know.
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00:03:44,257 --> 00:03:45,657
You probably
could pull level.
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And did you see,
how I kind of went like that.
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I kind of smushed
my boobs together,
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00:03:49,696 --> 00:03:51,029
but I don't think it worked.
68
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- What did you do?
- He left real fast.
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Do it again.
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Oh, yeah.
Mm.
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00:03:57,270 --> 00:03:59,404
This guy must really be
somebody important.
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00:03:59,405 --> 00:04:03,108
You don't just send
a rhododendron willy nilly.
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00:04:03,109 --> 00:04:05,077
Hello. We've got another one.
74
00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,612
You can just
put them over there.
75
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Okay, and I can trust you
with this, right?
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Totally.
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00:04:11,117 --> 00:04:12,818
I shouldn't have done
that last part.
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00:04:12,819 --> 00:04:14,219
Don't touch.
Don't touch it 'cause it's his.
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He might wake up anytime.
- He ain't going to.
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Mr. Primo!
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See?
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If they come
and they see this,
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we'll just tell them
that he's--
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that we think he's been
peeing a little bit of blood.
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Oh, I like the wine.
Mmm.
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00:04:33,506 --> 00:04:35,440
- He's--could be like a--
- Knock, knock, coming in.
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Come on in.
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00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,878
I was just picking something
up off the floor over here.
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We've got some more candles.
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00:04:41,180 --> 00:04:42,314
That's fine.
You can just put them here.
91
00:04:42,315 --> 00:04:43,515
Okay.
92
00:04:43,516 --> 00:04:45,817
Let me know
if you need anything.
93
00:04:45,818 --> 00:04:48,286
I feel like
we've really earned this.
94
00:04:48,287 --> 00:04:51,657
Do you know yesterday
I had to work for four hours?
95
00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:53,692
- Ooh, smell this.
- Mm, mm, mm, mm, mm.
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00:04:53,693 --> 00:04:56,028
- Smell this.
- Ooh.
97
00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:57,129
Smell good, right?
98
00:04:57,130 --> 00:04:58,630
Ah, ah, ah, ah!
99
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:00,499
What?
100
00:05:00,500 --> 00:05:02,067
- What is it?
- Rai!
101
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:04,737
You can only get this
at Christmas time.
102
00:05:06,305 --> 00:05:07,572
God, it's honey-baked.
103
00:05:07,573 --> 00:05:11,209
You can't eat that
whole ham.
104
00:05:11,210 --> 00:05:13,712
You can't--okay.
105
00:05:16,849 --> 00:05:20,652
{\an8}So this is
Operation Odysseus,
106
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:22,320
{\an8}aka, the Trojan horse.
107
00:05:22,321 --> 00:05:23,822
Let's do it.
108
00:05:23,823 --> 00:05:25,791
We saw a movie where a bunch
of guys were in a horse
109
00:05:25,792 --> 00:05:27,626
and it wasn't the funny one.
What's the funny one?
110
00:05:27,627 --> 00:05:28,827
- No.
- It's the other one.
111
00:05:28,828 --> 00:05:30,162
- No, it's Tro--
- "Troy."
112
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,663
- "Troy."
- Yeah.
113
00:05:31,664 --> 00:05:35,233
And we figure we've been
getting so many stolen packages
114
00:05:35,234 --> 00:05:37,035
in town that we're checking.
115
00:05:37,036 --> 00:05:38,670
We got all the doorbell
cams now.
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00:05:38,671 --> 00:05:40,205
We're linked.
We can link right in.
117
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Travis, you in
your check in the box?
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Yes. Check.
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Check, check, mic check,
and then we're going to wait
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00:05:46,245 --> 00:05:50,716
and see
when we have to spring the--
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motherfucker!
122
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Hey! Hey.
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Fuck!
Hey, hey!
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Motherfucker.
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All right, surprise.
126
00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:04,730
Surpri--
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00:06:04,731 --> 00:06:07,966
surprise!
128
00:06:07,967 --> 00:06:09,969
Surprise. Shit.
129
00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,473
Surprise.
130
00:06:14,474 --> 00:06:16,542
Surprise.
131
00:06:18,244 --> 00:06:19,612
Surprise.
132
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Surprise!
133
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Hello?
Surprise.
134
00:06:30,656 --> 00:06:32,191
Hello?
135
00:06:34,060 --> 00:06:35,762
Surprise.
136
00:06:38,731 --> 00:06:40,565
Hello?
137
00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:43,503
Surpri--
138
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Track my package.
139
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{\an8}How are my two
favorite ladies?
140
00:07:04,757 --> 00:07:06,158
{\an8}- Oh!
- We're fine.
141
00:07:06,159 --> 00:07:08,126
{\an8}I think you're going
to like this one.
142
00:07:08,127 --> 00:07:09,661
- Oh.
- We've got some potpourri.
143
00:07:09,662 --> 00:07:11,329
Actually, mind if I take this?
144
00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,298
Help yourself.
145
00:07:13,299 --> 00:07:14,800
Help yourself.
146
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,869
My husband's going
to love it.
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Goddamn.
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00:07:22,508 --> 00:07:25,010
And then I found out
that the only reason
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00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:29,815
he even invited me to the dance
was because he needed a kidney.
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00:07:29,816 --> 00:07:33,618
Flowers for
Mr. Little Primo Vasquez.
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00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:36,221
Yeah.
That--that's the guy.
152
00:07:36,222 --> 00:07:37,689
From my primo.
153
00:07:46,799 --> 00:07:48,533
What's going on?
What'd I miss?
154
00:07:57,276 --> 00:07:59,578
{\an8}- Welcome to Español
Para Imbéciles.
155
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:04,049
My name is John.
156
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,984
Mi nombre es Juan.
157
00:08:05,985 --> 00:08:08,787
Mi nombre es Juan.
158
00:08:08,788 --> 00:08:11,189
Please do not report me
to the cartel.
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00:08:18,431 --> 00:08:20,265
Oh, shit, the dot com man.
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00:08:24,637 --> 00:08:28,240
Garcia, that boy can't even
eat Mexican food.
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00:08:28,241 --> 00:08:29,574
- No.
- Well, I mean,
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00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:31,276
he going to stick out
like a sore thumb.
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He can't speak Spanish.
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00:08:32,812 --> 00:08:35,280
He's the whitest person
I've ever met.
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And I'm the great-grandson
of Dutch puppeteers.
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Think about that.
167
00:08:38,117 --> 00:08:39,784
And you get two beers
in him,
168
00:08:39,785 --> 00:08:41,519
and he starts going off about
how much he hates beaners.
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00:08:41,520 --> 00:08:42,988
- He does not like them.
- Oh.
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00:08:42,989 --> 00:08:45,357
By the way, there are
fantastic beaners out there.
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- I agree.
- Name two.
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- Guillermo Del Toro.
- One.
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00:08:49,061 --> 00:08:50,629
Antonio Banderas.
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- Spain.
- Yep.
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00:08:51,964 --> 00:08:54,233
- George Lopez.
- From California.
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00:08:55,301 --> 00:08:57,068
Señor Wences.
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00:08:57,069 --> 00:09:00,171
Wasn't Señor Wences
Ed Sullivan's hand?
178
00:09:00,172 --> 00:09:04,042
Well, I think if we cared at
all about that little weirdo--
179
00:09:04,043 --> 00:09:05,477
We should kill him now...
180
00:09:05,478 --> 00:09:07,679
- No.
- So that--okay. I don't know.
181
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:12,017
If we cared at all about
that little weirdo, Garcia,
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somebody would marry him.
183
00:09:14,654 --> 00:09:15,654
- Not it.
- Not it.
184
00:09:15,655 --> 00:09:17,022
- Not it. Not it!
- Not it.
185
00:09:17,023 --> 00:09:18,023
Fuck.
186
00:09:21,994 --> 00:09:23,495
{\an8}Hello, officers.
187
00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:25,797
{\an8}- Oh, jackpot.
- Hi. Hi.
188
00:09:25,798 --> 00:09:28,333
{\an8}- You okay?
- Hey.
189
00:09:28,334 --> 00:09:29,367
{\an8}Hi.
190
00:09:29,368 --> 00:09:30,969
{\an8}- Hi.
- How are you doing?
191
00:09:30,970 --> 00:09:34,406
I got a call for an audition
for a commercial
192
00:09:34,407 --> 00:09:37,709
and I get to this house,
and this guy is like,
193
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:41,880
"I need to see you eat
this banana, like, real slow."
194
00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:43,748
- Oh, wow.
- Oh, wow. That's--
195
00:09:43,749 --> 00:09:46,952
So I eat the banana and he,
like, hands me this swimsuit.
196
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:48,920
He's like,
"Now, put on a swimsuit."
197
00:09:48,921 --> 00:09:51,856
And then he hands me
a bottle of baby oil.
198
00:09:51,857 --> 00:09:53,525
- Oh.
- Yeah.
199
00:09:53,526 --> 00:09:55,894
And he's like, "Can you, like,
rub it all over yourself?"
200
00:09:55,895 --> 00:09:58,596
And he wanted me
to get in a tub with him.
201
00:09:58,597 --> 00:09:59,998
- Mm.
- Oh, wow.
202
00:09:59,999 --> 00:10:01,733
He was wearing underwear
and it was uncomfortable.
203
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:03,201
So I just snapped.
204
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:06,071
And I was like, "What kind of
audition is this?"
205
00:10:06,072 --> 00:10:08,473
I pushed him really hard
and he fell.
206
00:10:08,474 --> 00:10:10,141
And, you know, there was
a little bit of blood
207
00:10:10,142 --> 00:10:15,113
coming out from his ears,
so I think he might be dead.
208
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:16,848
- Okay. Well--
- Okay. Yeah.
209
00:10:16,849 --> 00:10:19,451
It sounds like, uh,
210
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:21,186
it sounds like--
- We'll take care of it.
211
00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,354
- Thank you, ma'am.
- Bye.
212
00:10:22,355 --> 00:10:24,055
We've got to take notes.
213
00:10:24,056 --> 00:10:27,025
I went on that same
fucking audition,
214
00:10:27,026 --> 00:10:28,626
the whole bathtub banana thing.
215
00:10:28,627 --> 00:10:31,696
I didn't get it. Obviously,
they went in another direction.
216
00:10:31,697 --> 00:10:34,132
White privilege all the time.
- Oh, I hear you.
217
00:10:38,771 --> 00:10:40,305
{\an8}Hey, Raineesha.
218
00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,740
{\an8}What took you so long?
219
00:10:41,741 --> 00:10:44,476
I don't know.
How's your family?
220
00:10:44,477 --> 00:10:46,144
Okay, you said you want
to talk to me about something?
221
00:10:46,145 --> 00:10:47,812
That's what you wanted
to talk to me about?
222
00:10:47,813 --> 00:10:49,114
Okay, good talk.
223
00:10:49,115 --> 00:10:51,350
I need your pee
and I need it right away.
224
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:53,151
So just do that.
225
00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:57,389
Don't act like that.
226
00:10:57,390 --> 00:10:59,691
I don't live
the life you live.
227
00:10:59,692 --> 00:11:01,926
You know, I don't.
This is a clean vessel.
228
00:11:01,927 --> 00:11:04,629
Oh, I love getting a sermon
every time
229
00:11:04,630 --> 00:11:07,532
I need fresh piss, Raineesha.
Look--
230
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:11,536
Because if you wasn't
out there in them streets...
231
00:11:11,537 --> 00:11:15,573
♪ Living like a dirty whore ♪
232
00:11:15,574 --> 00:11:19,277
♪ Then you wouldn't
be asking me, hah! ♪
233
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:23,782
♪ For the things
of my bodily fluid out here ♪
234
00:11:23,783 --> 00:11:26,684
♪ Y'all don't hear me ♪
235
00:11:26,685 --> 00:11:31,790
♪ I was having a spa day ♪
236
00:11:31,791 --> 00:11:35,527
♪ And I did a little Molly
'cause I felt like it ♪
237
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,895
Now, just pee in the cup.
238
00:11:36,896 --> 00:11:38,930
What was that when that funny
Scientologist,
239
00:11:38,931 --> 00:11:42,200
you know, the white boy said,
"Show me the money!"
240
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,270
Show me the money.
241
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:47,705
50 bucks.
242
00:11:47,706 --> 00:11:50,075
It's pee.
You would flush it anyway.
243
00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:55,480
{\an8}God dang it.
244
00:11:55,481 --> 00:11:58,583
{\an8}Got a 54... I forgot.
245
00:11:58,584 --> 00:12:00,385
{\an8}I don't even know
what the number is for this.
246
00:12:00,386 --> 00:12:03,721
We've got a structure fire.
The wind's catching it too.
247
00:12:03,722 --> 00:12:07,392
We've got a 1660 or--
248
00:12:07,393 --> 00:12:09,828
No, you called it
a 818, right?
249
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:11,830
Sorry. I didn't even know
what the number is.
250
00:12:11,831 --> 00:12:13,231
818 is dead animal.
251
00:12:13,232 --> 00:12:16,034
There might be a dead animal.
I do not know,
252
00:12:16,035 --> 00:12:19,537
but there was a guy
that ran out when we pulled up.
253
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:22,942
I don't--and I don't know
if you, uh...
254
00:12:24,443 --> 00:12:26,578
I forgot what
I was talking about.
255
00:12:26,579 --> 00:12:31,249
Did you always not have--
you didn't have a moustache?
256
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:34,419
Before, I can't grow one.
257
00:12:34,420 --> 00:12:37,021
Didn't he have one before?
When we were before?
258
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,991
When we were what before?
259
00:12:39,992 --> 00:12:41,659
When we were what
before what?
260
00:12:41,660 --> 00:12:44,329
I forgot.
I know what to do for this.
261
00:12:44,330 --> 00:12:46,197
Ah. Ah.
Ready?
262
00:12:46,198 --> 00:12:47,532
Huddle up.
263
00:12:47,533 --> 00:12:48,566
Man.
264
00:12:48,567 --> 00:12:51,302
both: Hey!
- Oh.
265
00:12:53,639 --> 00:12:54,906
- Oh, man.
- Oh, that's good.
266
00:12:54,907 --> 00:12:56,708
This is why I always
carry it, man.
267
00:12:56,709 --> 00:13:00,712
Anybody that doesn't
like music can kiss my ass.
268
00:13:00,713 --> 00:13:02,580
- Music is the best, man.
- Right?
269
00:13:02,581 --> 00:13:05,150
- Live music. Live music.
- Music is the best.
270
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,285
I love notes,
I love all the notes.
271
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,753
Yeah.
272
00:13:08,754 --> 00:13:09,821
- Oh, buzzkill.
- Oh, shit.
273
00:13:09,822 --> 00:13:13,124
Everybody be cool.
- Everybody seem cool?
274
00:13:13,125 --> 00:13:14,225
- You want to talk?
- You talk.
275
00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:15,426
- You talk.
- You're the boss.
276
00:13:15,427 --> 00:13:16,427
- You talk.
- No, you talk.
277
00:13:16,428 --> 00:13:17,595
Hey, guys.
278
00:13:17,596 --> 00:13:20,899
all: Hey.
279
00:13:20,900 --> 00:13:22,100
Huh?
- Have you been in?
280
00:13:22,101 --> 00:13:23,234
No, no. We--the guy--
281
00:13:23,235 --> 00:13:24,869
They're closed
'cause of the fire.
282
00:13:24,870 --> 00:13:27,105
- Yeah, yeah.
- Did you guys call?
283
00:13:27,106 --> 00:13:28,306
- No.
- No.
284
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:29,641
- No, no, no.
- Whoa.
285
00:13:29,642 --> 00:13:31,876
I don't even
have your number.
286
00:13:31,877 --> 00:13:33,745
It's on the vehicle.
287
00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:34,946
Did you shave?
288
00:13:34,947 --> 00:13:36,314
You got--wait, what?
Ready, watch.
289
00:13:36,315 --> 00:13:37,649
Oh, shit.
290
00:13:37,650 --> 00:13:39,784
- I could--I thought--
- Why does everyone--
291
00:13:39,785 --> 00:13:42,654
- Watch what I can do.
- I never had a moustache guys.
292
00:13:42,655 --> 00:13:44,255
Suckin' it!
Aww.
293
00:13:44,256 --> 00:13:45,890
Oh, man.
- I'm never ready for that.
294
00:13:45,891 --> 00:13:47,292
I got--
295
00:13:47,293 --> 00:13:48,726
You got me again,
hacky sack.
296
00:13:48,727 --> 00:13:51,262
Stupid but obvious question.
297
00:13:51,263 --> 00:13:53,431
- Okay.
- Yeah.
298
00:13:53,432 --> 00:13:55,667
Did anybody call
the gas company?
299
00:13:57,102 --> 00:13:58,102
- Ooh.
- Mm.
300
00:13:58,103 --> 00:13:59,504
- Oh!
- Ooh.
301
00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:01,707
Oh.
302
00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:08,112
Oh!
303
00:14:10,216 --> 00:14:11,316
Oh, me.
304
00:14:11,317 --> 00:14:12,817
- Wow.
- Oh.
305
00:14:12,818 --> 00:14:14,719
- Oh.
- It's like us.
306
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:16,321
Yeah, that's us, guys.
307
00:14:16,322 --> 00:14:17,622
That's us.
308
00:14:17,623 --> 00:14:19,123
It's like,
we're all different,
309
00:14:19,124 --> 00:14:21,226
but we're all tied together
with a string.
310
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:22,527
Mm.
311
00:14:22,528 --> 00:14:24,495
- Why are they so many?
- I don't know,
312
00:14:24,496 --> 00:14:27,765
but you're the green one
and I love that about you.
313
00:14:27,766 --> 00:14:29,500
I love that about us.
314
00:14:38,811 --> 00:14:40,078
Wow.
315
00:14:40,079 --> 00:14:42,313
I just moved
and all this paperwork is...
316
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:44,249
Drowning me!
317
00:14:44,250 --> 00:14:46,918
I've got to change my address
with the post office,
318
00:14:46,919 --> 00:14:50,622
do my bills and reregister
as a sex offender.
319
00:14:50,623 --> 00:14:53,658
Who's got time for all of this?
320
00:14:55,094 --> 00:14:59,197
Sounds to me like you need
a little bit of magic.
321
00:14:59,198 --> 00:15:01,799
Remember when you used
to have to go downtown,
322
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:03,968
get in a huge line
with all of Reno's
323
00:15:03,969 --> 00:15:07,972
tens of thousands of sex
offenders and wait and wait?
324
00:15:07,973 --> 00:15:10,141
Well, now it's all right here
325
00:15:10,142 --> 00:15:12,310
in the Reno Sheriff's
Department app
326
00:15:12,311 --> 00:15:15,647
available for your smartphone
or tablet.
327
00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:19,284
Just click the icon that says
Get Me Registered.
328
00:15:19,285 --> 00:15:21,152
And that'll take you
to the scroll wheel
329
00:15:21,153 --> 00:15:23,454
where you can choose
your classifications:
330
00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:26,858
violent sex offender,
nonviolent sex offender,
331
00:15:26,859 --> 00:15:29,427
Peeping Tom,
flasher, pedophile,
332
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:31,963
agalmatophiliac,
coprophiliac,
333
00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,865
person who puts their penis
in mailboxes,
334
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:35,500
roof pooper, peek-a-dude.
335
00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:37,602
Click as many as apply.
336
00:15:37,603 --> 00:15:40,204
And pick a fun avatar.
337
00:15:42,875 --> 00:15:44,942
That will show up on the app
338
00:15:44,943 --> 00:15:47,845
as we and any other citizen
track your every movement.
339
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:49,480
It was so easy.
340
00:15:49,481 --> 00:15:52,150
It's all
in the palm of my hand.
341
00:16:01,994 --> 00:16:03,328
{\an8}Let's do it. Come on.
342
00:16:03,329 --> 00:16:04,929
{\an8}My hamstring.
Oh, my hamstring.
343
00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:07,332
{\an8}You look great.
Where's Dangle? Where's Dangle?
344
00:16:07,333 --> 00:16:09,767
Dangle's not coming.
He got flat.
345
00:16:09,768 --> 00:16:10,902
- Not it.
- Not it.
346
00:16:10,903 --> 00:16:13,171
- Not it!
- Not it.
347
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:14,706
Shit.
348
00:16:14,707 --> 00:16:15,873
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
no, no, no, no, no, no!
349
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:19,110
No, no, no.
459.
350
00:16:19,111 --> 00:16:20,945
Hey, we need you
to do a thing.
351
00:16:20,946 --> 00:16:23,081
- No, we're closed.
- Oh, no, no. Come on.
352
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:25,016
It's just a teeny ceremony.
Really fast.
353
00:16:25,017 --> 00:16:26,250
Really quick.
Just real quick.
354
00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:29,387
All right,
who's getting married?
355
00:16:29,388 --> 00:16:30,888
- Us.
- Let me make one thing clear.
356
00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:32,890
I'm approving
no bullshit weddings.
357
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:34,392
- No, no, no.
- No!
358
00:16:34,393 --> 00:16:37,095
all:
- You should see it.
359
00:16:37,096 --> 00:16:38,663
They, like,
make out and everything.
360
00:16:38,664 --> 00:16:40,231
Okay. So here's
what we're going to do.
361
00:16:40,232 --> 00:16:42,667
I want to hear some honest,
heartfelt, heartwarming vows.
362
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:44,235
Mm-hmm.
363
00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:47,538
They better be straight from
the heart and sincere as shit.
364
00:16:47,539 --> 00:16:50,441
Or I'm not pronouncing
you married.
365
00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:52,910
Oh, okay.
366
00:16:52,911 --> 00:16:55,513
Uh...
367
00:16:55,514 --> 00:16:58,950
I have to say that
love has been playing
368
00:16:58,951 --> 00:17:02,720
Three-card Monte with my heart
for most of my life.
369
00:17:02,721 --> 00:17:06,491
Try to find out
where it could be.
370
00:17:06,492 --> 00:17:11,062
And I think I found
my king of spades
371
00:17:11,063 --> 00:17:12,563
right here in front of me.
372
00:17:12,564 --> 00:17:14,065
He's a man I've shared
373
00:17:14,066 --> 00:17:17,235
many of a life-threatening
situations with.
374
00:17:17,236 --> 00:17:21,072
You know, I don't think I could
find a better partner in my job
375
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:25,276
and a better partner in my life
than this man right here.
376
00:17:25,277 --> 00:17:29,347
I would really like
if Sisyphus Cosman Jones,
377
00:17:29,348 --> 00:17:33,484
if you would be my...
378
00:17:33,485 --> 00:17:35,821
partner in life.
379
00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,725
I do.
How was that, Black judge?
380
00:17:40,726 --> 00:17:42,960
That was beautiful.
381
00:17:42,961 --> 00:17:45,062
I pronounce you married.
382
00:17:45,063 --> 00:17:47,732
Go with God.
I got to get out of here.
383
00:17:47,733 --> 00:17:49,000
Thank you, sir, so much.
384
00:17:49,001 --> 00:17:50,334
You won't regret it.
- Thank you so much.
385
00:17:53,272 --> 00:17:55,306
- You did it! Here we go.
- Ready?
386
00:17:55,307 --> 00:17:56,841
Hey!
387
00:17:56,842 --> 00:17:58,309
Oh, whoa!
388
00:17:58,310 --> 00:18:00,311
I got it!
- Fucking bitch!
389
00:18:00,312 --> 00:18:02,113
Get off of me!
390
00:18:02,114 --> 00:18:03,448
- Oh!
- Get off of me!
391
00:18:03,449 --> 00:18:04,882
That's mine!
392
00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:06,451
all: Oh!
- It's my turn!
393
00:18:06,452 --> 00:18:08,120
Her bum is showing.
394
00:18:20,666 --> 00:18:23,901
The Reno Sheriff's Department
is participating
395
00:18:23,902 --> 00:18:28,005
in a county-wide
coyote hazing program.
396
00:18:28,006 --> 00:18:31,409
What that means is coyotes are
getting very, very aggressive--
397
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:34,445
coming into neighborhoods,
eat little dogs and cats.
398
00:18:34,446 --> 00:18:35,746
And so...
399
00:18:38,817 --> 00:18:40,418
What we're doing out here
is we're trying
400
00:18:40,419 --> 00:18:42,053
to scare them off.
401
00:18:42,054 --> 00:18:43,554
We wear bright colors.
402
00:18:43,555 --> 00:18:47,391
We dress in something scary
yet big, you make noise.
403
00:18:52,264 --> 00:18:53,664
So we're out here
just trying to scare them
404
00:18:53,665 --> 00:18:54,932
out of the neighborhoods,
try to get them
405
00:18:54,933 --> 00:18:56,767
to maybe take back
to their own--
406
00:18:56,768 --> 00:18:58,336
- Ah!
- Jesus!
407
00:18:59,905 --> 00:19:00,938
Fucking hell.
408
00:19:00,939 --> 00:19:02,740
Hey.
409
00:19:02,741 --> 00:19:04,775
Have you seen any coyotes
out here?
410
00:19:04,776 --> 00:19:06,811
No, I was just hanging out
for a bit.
411
00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:13,784
I haven't searched
out here yet.
412
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:17,388
I thought everybody
was coming out tonight.
413
00:19:17,389 --> 00:19:20,525
Do coyotes climb trees?
Can they fall out of trees?
414
00:19:20,526 --> 00:19:22,493
I don't think so.
415
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:24,562
Jesus Christ!
416
00:19:24,563 --> 00:19:27,131
- There's nothing over there.
- Oh.
417
00:19:27,132 --> 00:19:28,633
You all right?
- Yeah. I'm good. I'm good.
418
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:30,201
Dude.
419
00:19:30,202 --> 00:19:32,904
I won't lie to you.
I'm a little spooked.
420
00:19:32,905 --> 00:19:34,505
You know,
421
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:38,142
a coyote has killed a grown man
in Sparks two nights ago.
422
00:19:39,878 --> 00:19:42,713
Hey, guys!
I'm a spider.
423
00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:44,615
- Oh, yeah.
- Oh, wow.
424
00:19:44,616 --> 00:19:46,117
- Okay. Okay.
- Yeah. That's--
425
00:19:46,118 --> 00:19:47,618
- Pretty good.
- Pretty scary.
426
00:19:47,619 --> 00:19:50,488
Yeah.
Did you find any coyotes?
427
00:19:50,489 --> 00:19:53,458
No, I haven't been able
to catch any of them yet.
428
00:19:54,259 --> 00:19:55,326
Here, coyo--
429
00:19:57,896 --> 00:20:03,034
- What the fuck?
- What the fuck?
430
00:20:03,035 --> 00:20:05,069
Hello?
431
00:20:05,070 --> 00:20:06,704
Jesus.
432
00:20:06,705 --> 00:20:08,873
Hey, guys.
433
00:20:08,874 --> 00:20:10,942
Something came by that I
thought might've been a coyote,
434
00:20:10,943 --> 00:20:12,410
and it scared
the poop out of me.
435
00:20:12,411 --> 00:20:14,512
And so I got in here
to hide for a while.
436
00:20:14,513 --> 00:20:16,514
The hell of a nice birdcage.
437
00:20:20,085 --> 00:20:21,886
- Guys.
- Yeah?
438
00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:24,555
Who's--who's the guy
in the bear suit?
439
00:20:29,127 --> 00:20:30,728
Wha--what the hell was that?
440
00:20:30,729 --> 00:20:32,631
- What the fuck?
- Who's that?
441
00:20:35,300 --> 00:20:36,467
Fuck it.
442
00:20:40,639 --> 00:20:41,872
Guys!
443
00:20:41,873 --> 00:20:44,075
all:
444
00:20:48,714 --> 00:20:51,582
Guys!
We lost Junior!
445
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:53,017
- Make a big animal.
- Dam pod.
446
00:20:53,018 --> 00:20:54,719
Make a big animal.
Make a big animal.
447
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:56,854
- We can make one bigger.
- Big animal.
448
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,792
We're a big animal.
449
00:21:07,899 --> 00:21:10,434
This says more bathroom
than it does bedroom to me.
450
00:21:10,435 --> 00:21:11,869
Do you agree?
451
00:21:11,870 --> 00:21:13,304
Or do you want the bathroom
to match the bedroom?
452
00:21:13,305 --> 00:21:14,905
I don't know.
I can't--I can't--
453
00:21:14,906 --> 00:21:16,408
I can't look
at any more swatches, okay?
31802
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