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1
00:00:04,337 --> 00:00:08,924
Okay, well, today we have
a real special treat for you.
2
00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,271
Wait, wait! Stop. Stop!
3
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:25,899
- Leslie?
- Yeah.
4
00:00:25,900 --> 00:00:30,447
James, you are my light.
5
00:00:32,282 --> 00:00:34,616
And I need to ask you something.
6
00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:37,161
Will you please make me
the happiest man in the world?
7
00:00:38,663 --> 00:00:39,621
- Oh, my God!
- .
8
00:00:39,622 --> 00:00:43,333
- Are you alright?
- help him.
9
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:44,793
- It's alright.
- Are you alright?
10
00:00:44,794 --> 00:00:46,462
Yeah, I'm fine.
I'm fine. I'm fine.
11
00:00:46,463 --> 00:00:47,671
- He's okay.
- He's alright, everybody.
12
00:00:47,672 --> 00:00:51,760
Will you be my life partner?
13
00:00:53,887 --> 00:00:55,387
- Aah!
- Say yes.
14
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:57,265
'Yes! Yes! Oh!'
15
00:01:02,145 --> 00:01:04,438
- I love you.
- I love you too.
16
00:01:04,439 --> 00:01:05,606
- .
- Aah!
17
00:01:05,607 --> 00:01:07,983
- 'Hey!'
- 'Who did that?'
18
00:01:07,984 --> 00:01:09,818
It was that little
Mexican kid!
19
00:01:11,529 --> 00:01:13,907
Come on...
It was a trick.
20
00:01:22,749 --> 00:01:24,541
{\an8}- I got it...
- Whoa!
21
00:01:24,542 --> 00:01:27,754
{\an8}- Whoa!
- Oh! Oh!
22
00:01:33,760 --> 00:01:35,595
{\an8}Alright, okay.
I got him by the belt.
23
00:01:37,138 --> 00:01:40,517
{\an8}Get back in the building!
No loitering!
24
00:01:54,197 --> 00:01:55,197
{\an8}- 'Give me a hoo-ah!'
- 'Hoo-ah!'
25
00:01:57,742 --> 00:01:59,243
{\an8}- Okay, let's do a fight lines.
- 'Fight lines.'
26
00:01:59,244 --> 00:02:03,205
Make a fight lines.
Remember, like we talked about.
27
00:02:03,206 --> 00:02:05,999
- Look alive! Look alive!
- Yep. Yes, sir. Yes, sir.
28
00:02:06,000 --> 00:02:09,211
'You could cut the tension here
tonight with a knife.'
29
00:02:09,212 --> 00:02:11,547
'Tighten up your metal!
Tighten up your metal!'
30
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:13,799
'...and I gotta tell you,
the last time they won'
31
00:02:13,800 --> 00:02:16,426
'they ripped this town apart.'
32
00:02:16,427 --> 00:02:19,054
'Hoo, there was rioting,
cars set on fire'
33
00:02:19,055 --> 00:02:21,181
'dozens of law enforcement
officers injured'
34
00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:24,726
'and hospitalized,
and, of course, raping sprees.'
35
00:02:24,727 --> 00:02:27,437
'And here we go,
coming out of the time-out.'
36
00:02:27,438 --> 00:02:29,356
'Here it is,
20 seconds on the clock.'
37
00:02:29,357 --> 00:02:31,900
'And it's the Wolf pack
up by two.'
38
00:02:31,901 --> 00:02:35,112
'Shock and awe, people.
Shock and awe.'
39
00:02:35,113 --> 00:02:37,823
- Hah!
- Shock and awe.
40
00:02:37,824 --> 00:02:39,575
'...six seconds left.
Valdez left.'
41
00:02:39,576 --> 00:02:41,827
'Look as he tries for the steal.
Two seconds left.'
42
00:02:41,828 --> 00:02:44,580
'Hoffman shoots.
Livingston tries to block!'
43
00:02:44,581 --> 00:02:45,747
- 'It's good!'
- Oh!
44
00:02:45,748 --> 00:02:49,835
'The poor Wolf Pack, they can't
do it. They lose it...'
45
00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:51,920
{\an8}- Oh, thank God Reno sucks.
- Thank God we suck.
46
00:02:51,921 --> 00:02:53,755
♪ Sacramento's number one ♪
47
00:02:57,594 --> 00:02:59,761
{\an8}Here we go.
48
00:02:59,762 --> 00:03:02,389
{\an8}Hola, senor. Nice.
49
00:03:02,390 --> 00:03:04,182
- Crap!
- Okay.
50
00:03:04,183 --> 00:03:05,100
Crap.
51
00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:06,059
- You guys...
- Hi.
52
00:03:06,060 --> 00:03:09,271
- I'm so glad you're here.
- What's up?
53
00:03:09,272 --> 00:03:12,941
Somebody stole
all of the mild salsa.
54
00:03:12,942 --> 00:03:15,152
That's why you called us
out here?
55
00:03:15,153 --> 00:03:18,280
Yes. It's usually on
the counter next to the hot.
56
00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,073
You know,
it goes mild and then hot?
57
00:03:20,074 --> 00:03:23,952
And it was there, it was gone.
The mild is gone. Wait, hold on.
58
00:03:23,953 --> 00:03:27,581
Sorry. Your order's up.
Oh, jeez. Here we go.
59
00:03:27,582 --> 00:03:29,791
Ow! Ouch!
60
00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:31,293
- You know, Terry...
- Sorry.
61
00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:32,794
- Terry...
- What?
62
00:03:32,795 --> 00:03:33,754
You bring that on yourself, alright?
63
00:03:33,755 --> 00:03:35,797
What do you mean?
64
00:03:35,798 --> 00:03:38,133
No one told you
you had to wear those skates.
65
00:03:38,134 --> 00:03:39,343
'Or those shorts.'
66
00:03:39,344 --> 00:03:41,678
They probably prefer
that you don't wear the skates.
67
00:03:41,679 --> 00:03:43,013
- Why?
- Why?
68
00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,474
- These skates--
- 'Um, I don't know.'
69
00:03:45,475 --> 00:03:49,645
These skates were given to me
by my great, great grandmother.
70
00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:50,729
- Mm-hmm.
- She was from China.
71
00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,190
I know what this is about.
I know what this is about.
72
00:03:53,191 --> 00:03:54,942
- What is it about?
- What is it about?
73
00:03:54,943 --> 00:03:57,819
You are an attention whore.
74
00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,488
- What does that mean?
- What does that mean?
75
00:03:59,489 --> 00:04:00,739
- What doesn't it mean, Terry?
- I don't think I am.
76
00:04:00,740 --> 00:04:03,034
You don't?
77
00:04:04,953 --> 00:04:05,869
Here's your food.
78
00:04:05,870 --> 00:04:07,288
- See, I got it.
- 'Oh!'
79
00:04:09,165 --> 00:04:10,332
Ouch.
80
00:04:22,053 --> 00:04:23,972
I feel very "Braveheart."
Don't you, guys?
81
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:27,307
'I feel like a very good
combination of "Braveheart"'
82
00:04:27,308 --> 00:04:29,268
and "Debbie Does Dallas"
in the best way.
83
00:04:29,269 --> 00:04:30,394
'Hey, Dangle.'
84
00:04:30,395 --> 00:04:32,229
It couldn't be more macho
to wear a kilt.
85
00:04:32,230 --> 00:04:33,647
He got [bleep] killed in the
end of that movie, didn't he?
86
00:04:33,648 --> 00:04:37,943
Hell. Hey, hell, look at me. I
feel like a [bleep] lawn jockey.
87
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:39,236
- You look wonderful.
- No. Look at that...
88
00:04:39,237 --> 00:04:41,613
What sort of a lawn jockey
would dress like that?
89
00:04:41,614 --> 00:04:43,281
A Highland Warriors jockey.
It's perfect.
90
00:04:43,282 --> 00:04:46,201
You look perfect
for a gay commitment ceremony.
91
00:04:46,202 --> 00:04:48,453
Yeah, I look like
a gay leprechaun
92
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:49,871
if that's what you mean.
93
00:04:49,872 --> 00:04:51,832
- Leprechauns don't wear kilts.
- Well, whatever.
94
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:52,833
It's just foolish. I mean--
95
00:04:52,834 --> 00:04:54,960
And I don't appreciate
the gay aspect of that--
96
00:04:54,961 --> 00:04:57,087
Well, I don't appreciate you
trying to make us
97
00:04:57,088 --> 00:04:58,714
dress like fools.
98
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:01,174
I mean, why couldn't
we just wear our formals?
99
00:05:01,175 --> 00:05:02,509
This is formal!
100
00:05:02,510 --> 00:05:03,218
- It's just...
- What about this is informal?
101
00:05:03,219 --> 00:05:04,511
- Stupid.
- It's a skirt.
102
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:07,389
It's not a skirt! It's a kilt!
Stop saying it's a skirt!
103
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,224
What about the purse though?
The purse is--
104
00:05:09,225 --> 00:05:11,059
- Yeah.
- Sporran! It's a sporran!
105
00:05:11,060 --> 00:05:13,687
We look like women, Dangle. I
think you're trying to recruit--
106
00:05:13,688 --> 00:05:14,896
We look like Highland Warriors!
107
00:05:14,897 --> 00:05:16,314
I think you're trying
to recruit us is what
108
00:05:16,315 --> 00:05:17,524
you're trying to do.
It's bad enough--
109
00:05:17,525 --> 00:05:19,651
- Do what? Say it again.
- ...[bleep] ceremony.
110
00:05:19,652 --> 00:05:21,194
What did you just say?
What did you just say?
111
00:05:21,195 --> 00:05:23,238
- 'Hold on.'
- What did you just say?
112
00:05:23,239 --> 00:05:24,990
I said, [bleep] the ceremony.
113
00:05:24,991 --> 00:05:29,077
- Come on! Come on! Come on!
- Let go!
114
00:05:29,078 --> 00:05:30,203
- Say it again.
- Garcia...
115
00:05:30,204 --> 00:05:32,622
- Say it again. Say it again.
- Garcia.
116
00:05:32,623 --> 00:05:33,874
James, you look gayer
when you're wrestling.
117
00:05:33,875 --> 00:05:36,084
- Ugh!
- Say it again.
118
00:05:36,085 --> 00:05:38,336
- I'm-I'm not going.
- Get him off, get him off.
119
00:05:38,337 --> 00:05:42,759
I hope you have a happy week
together. [bleep].
120
00:05:43,843 --> 00:05:46,511
What do the bridesmaids wear
if we're wearing skirts?
121
00:05:46,512 --> 00:05:48,764
We are...
You are the bridesmaids.
122
00:05:54,020 --> 00:05:55,228
{\an8}Sheriff's Department.
123
00:05:55,229 --> 00:05:57,939
{\an8}I've got a report
about a stolen car.
124
00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,316
{\an8}- Hey, her majesty's guard.
- Her majesty's guard!
125
00:05:59,317 --> 00:06:03,236
What news thou bringeth
from her majesty, the queen?
126
00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:06,114
Well, I'll tell you.
We are looking for...
127
00:06:06,115 --> 00:06:08,116
Apparently, there was a report
of a stolen car
128
00:06:08,117 --> 00:06:09,117
and someone called it in,
and we were wondering
129
00:06:09,118 --> 00:06:11,369
'if somebody saw something.'
130
00:06:11,370 --> 00:06:13,997
Aye, we did just this morrow
see a rapscallion
131
00:06:13,998 --> 00:06:16,750
abscond with a horseless
carriage not two leagues hence.
132
00:06:16,751 --> 00:06:17,793
- So, you--
- Aye, aye.
133
00:06:17,794 --> 00:06:20,253
This be a brutal act
of skullduggery.
134
00:06:20,254 --> 00:06:22,547
{\an8}Uh, thank goodness thou hast
been called upon to save--
135
00:06:22,548 --> 00:06:23,632
{\an8}- 'Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!'
- 'Hey! Hey!'
136
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:27,594
{\an8}- Excuse me, wench...
- When was the car stolen?
137
00:06:27,595 --> 00:06:29,805
What did it look like?
Who was driving it?
138
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:33,266
- We did see a tall, moorish--
- A tawny moor.
139
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:36,770
- Tawny, um...
- 'A tawny moor?'
140
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:41,149
A tawny moor,
16 stone, 13 hand.
141
00:06:41,150 --> 00:06:42,984
- Old-timey talk for black guy.
- Black guy!
142
00:06:42,985 --> 00:06:45,320
Sir, black guy
did come hither and--
143
00:06:45,321 --> 00:06:47,989
Moor. Moor. Moor. Tawny moor.
144
00:06:47,990 --> 00:06:49,574
- Tawny moor.
- He was a moor.
145
00:06:49,575 --> 00:06:51,910
So, so moor did come and--
146
00:06:51,911 --> 00:06:55,330
Abscond with the horseless
carriage two leagues hence.
147
00:06:55,331 --> 00:06:57,290
'And how tall was he,
do you know?'
148
00:06:57,291 --> 00:06:59,501
Um, well, thirteen hand.
149
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:00,377
- Thirteen hand?
- Thirteen hand.
150
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:04,589
How about in English?
How many...
151
00:07:04,590 --> 00:07:07,259
- It's 5...about 5'6".
- '5'5"-5'6".'
152
00:07:07,260 --> 00:07:08,426
Well, you know what? That's
taller. He's giving you...
153
00:07:08,427 --> 00:07:12,597
Okay. Now, do you know
the, uh, make of the car?
154
00:07:12,598 --> 00:07:13,890
It would be very helpful.
155
00:07:13,891 --> 00:07:16,601
'Twas from a faraway land.
156
00:07:16,602 --> 00:07:19,855
How about in English?
The make of the car was a...
157
00:07:19,856 --> 00:07:21,481
- Faraway...
- A Ford?
158
00:07:21,482 --> 00:07:23,191
- It's a Mitsubishi Galant.
- Mitsubishi Galant!
159
00:07:23,192 --> 00:07:24,192
- Thank you.
- 1998, '99--
160
00:07:24,193 --> 00:07:25,277
Rachel, we're gonna
have a problem.
161
00:07:25,278 --> 00:07:27,696
Some of us
are taking this job seriously.
162
00:07:27,697 --> 00:07:31,366
- Good day! Good morrow.
- Good day! God save the queen!
163
00:07:31,367 --> 00:07:33,285
What the
is your problem?
164
00:07:42,503 --> 00:07:45,630
This whole Dangle-Leslie
commitment-ceremony thing
165
00:07:45,631 --> 00:07:47,549
is really getting under my skin.
166
00:07:47,550 --> 00:07:49,050
I...
167
00:07:49,051 --> 00:07:53,180
{\an8}I have, you know,
a past with Jim
168
00:07:53,181 --> 00:07:55,140
and I assume
that what's happening here
169
00:07:55,141 --> 00:08:00,061
is I've gotten knocked up.
170
00:08:00,062 --> 00:08:02,315
Clearly, I'm taken, in a way...
171
00:08:03,983 --> 00:08:06,693
...and he suddenly
has to pretend like he's gay.
172
00:08:06,694 --> 00:08:10,405
I'm happy for him. Actually,
I'm very happy for him.
173
00:08:10,406 --> 00:08:12,324
If it makes him happier,
I'm happy for him.
174
00:08:12,325 --> 00:08:15,744
I'm happy for him.
I'm sad for Leslie though.
175
00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:17,038
He could do better.
176
00:08:26,339 --> 00:08:29,175
How does my sporran look, Joe?
177
00:08:30,176 --> 00:08:32,594
- Looks great.
- Ha.
178
00:08:40,394 --> 00:08:42,812
Surprise!
179
00:08:55,117 --> 00:08:57,245
- Jim.
- Hi, Trudy.
180
00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,247
- I was gonna get out and do...
- 'Yeah, uh...'
181
00:09:00,248 --> 00:09:02,624
Hold on, I have a dance.
Hold on.
182
00:09:02,625 --> 00:09:04,251
- Oh, this isn't--
- Oh, God.
183
00:09:04,252 --> 00:09:06,212
I had envisioned this
so much sexier.
184
00:09:15,805 --> 00:09:17,264
Ugh!
185
00:09:17,265 --> 00:09:19,099
Hold on, Jim. That's the best
part. I did a sexy robot.
186
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:23,311
- 'Yeah. Oh!'
- Really...
187
00:09:23,312 --> 00:09:25,522
- 'Oh, you look beautiful.'
- I do?
188
00:09:25,523 --> 00:09:28,483
- Yeah, you look so beautiful.
- Thanks, Jim.
189
00:09:28,484 --> 00:09:30,360
- Let's get you out of here now.
- But, you know...
190
00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,153
You and I might have
one last chance
191
00:09:32,154 --> 00:09:34,906
'cause, you know,
you're gonna tie the knot and...
192
00:09:34,907 --> 00:09:36,449
- Yup.
- It's not too late.
193
00:09:36,450 --> 00:09:37,325
Yeah, it is.
194
00:09:37,326 --> 00:09:39,911
If you can get me
out of this thing.
195
00:09:39,912 --> 00:09:42,497
Oh. Oh.
You're really stuck, huh?
196
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:43,790
- Yeah, I really am.
- Seriously? Really?
197
00:09:43,791 --> 00:09:45,500
I think these
are not made for pregnant women.
198
00:09:45,501 --> 00:09:46,501
- I can't--
- Seriously?
199
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:47,961
Jim, I'm caught.
I'm really caught.
200
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:52,674
You know, I'm gonna suck it in.
Suck in for a second.
201
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,843
- There's no sucking in when--
- Suck in! Suck in!
202
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,136
Just suck in for a second!
203
00:09:57,638 --> 00:10:01,057
It's not happening
I'm not moving at all.
204
00:10:01,058 --> 00:10:04,311
Oh, no! I ruined everything.
205
00:10:04,312 --> 00:10:06,438
No, you didn't ruin everything.
You didn't ruin everything.
206
00:10:06,439 --> 00:10:09,357
You're just naked and stuck.
207
00:10:09,358 --> 00:10:12,028
- Yeah. And lactating.
- Just, um, naked and stuck.
208
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,866
Are you okay?
I'm worried about you.
209
00:10:17,867 --> 00:10:18,992
It's probably just nerves, Jim.
It happens.
210
00:10:18,993 --> 00:10:20,201
'Oh.'
211
00:10:26,459 --> 00:10:29,002
{\an8}- Hey, Frisbee.
- 'Frisbee!'
212
00:10:29,003 --> 00:10:30,670
{\an8}Well, the end times are near.
213
00:10:30,671 --> 00:10:33,423
The truths of Revelations
have manifested themselves.
214
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,759
- The day has come?
- 'Mm-hmm.'
215
00:10:35,760 --> 00:10:36,718
- It's happened.
- Mm-hmm.
216
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:40,680
- The Jews?
- The Jews have taken over.
217
00:10:40,681 --> 00:10:42,766
And now we gotta come around
218
00:10:42,767 --> 00:10:45,810
and give every head of household
the mark.
219
00:10:45,811 --> 00:10:47,729
- The mark of the beast.
- 'Oh, what are they gonna do?'
220
00:10:47,730 --> 00:10:50,648
Are they, are they gonna
come, uh, take my-my home?
221
00:10:50,649 --> 00:10:52,567
- Yes.
- They gonna come take my land?
222
00:10:52,568 --> 00:10:54,277
They gonna come take my babies?
223
00:10:54,278 --> 00:10:56,071
- Yes.
- Yes.
224
00:10:56,072 --> 00:10:58,990
- 'Yes, yes to all of those.'
- Gonna make 'em the Jew bees?
225
00:10:58,991 --> 00:11:00,033
- 'Yes.'
- 'Yes.'
226
00:11:00,034 --> 00:11:02,660
Some of the ones
who have a little somethin'
227
00:11:02,661 --> 00:11:06,456
going on upstairs
are taking for new ground.
228
00:11:06,457 --> 00:11:07,582
- Mexico.
- 'Where is it?'
229
00:11:07,583 --> 00:11:09,751
- That's what I heard.
- 'It's South.'
230
00:11:09,752 --> 00:11:13,588
'Leave under
the cover of darkness...'
231
00:11:13,589 --> 00:11:16,383
'...sleep during the day.'
232
00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:18,176
'Take to the trees
and the riverbeds.'
233
00:11:18,177 --> 00:11:20,762
You'll be safe.
234
00:11:20,763 --> 00:11:22,514
- Kids!
- Come on.
235
00:11:22,515 --> 00:11:26,267
The mayor's son
owns all this property
236
00:11:26,268 --> 00:11:27,685
and wants them off, okay?
237
00:11:27,686 --> 00:11:29,312
They been squattin'
just a little bit too long.
238
00:11:29,313 --> 00:11:31,523
Drop your weapon.
239
00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,691
Dear Jesus, we know
you really weren't Jewish.
240
00:11:40,658 --> 00:11:41,616
{\an8}Grab around here.
241
00:11:41,617 --> 00:11:43,493
{\an8}I'm very sweaty under my boobs,
so I'm sorry.
242
00:11:43,494 --> 00:11:46,955
{\an8}Okay, now we're gonna
corkscrew...
243
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:48,123
- Towards you.
- Towards me.
244
00:11:48,124 --> 00:11:50,125
- Uh, lefty loosey.
- Lefty loosey.
245
00:11:50,126 --> 00:11:51,418
- Alright.
- You ready?
246
00:11:54,422 --> 00:11:55,463
This can't be great
for the baby.
247
00:11:55,464 --> 00:11:56,965
I don't think it's a good idea.
248
00:11:56,966 --> 00:11:58,967
Okay, okay. Okay.
249
00:11:58,968 --> 00:12:02,220
Alright, what if we,
what if we get some soap?
250
00:12:02,221 --> 00:12:05,807
- Soap?
- Trudy?
251
00:12:05,808 --> 00:12:06,975
What did you do?
What did you do?
252
00:12:06,976 --> 00:12:09,811
The whole thing, I was gonna do,
I was, I was doing...
253
00:12:09,812 --> 00:12:13,731
I was the sexy robot,
and then I had a ping-pong ball
254
00:12:13,732 --> 00:12:15,650
that was gonna
come out of my vagina
255
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:18,194
and then,
and now my edible panties are--
256
00:12:18,195 --> 00:12:20,155
- Oh. Okay, okay. Alright.
- Alright.
257
00:12:20,156 --> 00:12:21,156
Let's just get her out.
258
00:12:21,157 --> 00:12:23,366
Well, I got a bunch of lube
in my car.
259
00:12:23,367 --> 00:12:24,993
- Go get it.
- Go get it.
260
00:12:24,994 --> 00:12:27,829
I don't want lube on my back.
I don't want lube on my back.
261
00:12:27,830 --> 00:12:29,664
Well, we'll just put it
on your--
262
00:12:29,665 --> 00:12:31,666
- We'll lube the cake!
- Lube washes off your back!
263
00:12:31,667 --> 00:12:33,126
Lube washes off your back!
264
00:12:33,127 --> 00:12:34,335
- Okay. I just...
- Trust me.
265
00:12:34,336 --> 00:12:36,337
My baby's
traumatized enough as it is.
266
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:38,506
He's not gonna know that you
were in a cake full of lube.
267
00:12:38,507 --> 00:12:40,175
- Alright.
- And up!
268
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:42,010
Maybe we should call
the fire department.
269
00:12:42,011 --> 00:12:44,095
- Do it!
- Not from her head.
270
00:12:44,096 --> 00:12:45,805
- I'm not going to.
- Go!
271
00:12:47,892 --> 00:12:49,142
Anybody? Anything?
272
00:12:49,143 --> 00:12:50,685
Her back's really sweaty
in this cake.
273
00:12:50,686 --> 00:12:52,937
It's got cake and sweat
and icing and...
274
00:12:52,938 --> 00:12:54,522
- Oh, hey, guys.
- How are ya?
275
00:12:54,523 --> 00:12:55,523
- Oh, hey.
- Hi.
276
00:12:55,524 --> 00:12:58,401
- Uh, we got one of these here.
- Yeah.
277
00:12:58,402 --> 00:13:00,111
- How's it going, guys?
- Good, good, good.
278
00:13:00,112 --> 00:13:02,280
Hey, well, congratulations.
279
00:13:02,281 --> 00:13:03,823
Oh, thanks very much. Thanks.
280
00:13:03,824 --> 00:13:07,368
Yeah, and thanks for inviting us
to the ceremony.
281
00:13:07,369 --> 00:13:10,997
- Hey, look, it's been crazy.
- Totally understand.
282
00:13:10,998 --> 00:13:14,042
- Well, you had limited space.
- Limited seating. I understand.
283
00:13:14,043 --> 00:13:15,460
We did take some time
to get you a little gift.
284
00:13:15,461 --> 00:13:19,005
It's the, uh, sound plates.
285
00:13:19,006 --> 00:13:20,590
'Feel free to re-gift
if you need to.'
286
00:13:20,591 --> 00:13:21,966
- Sound plates?
- Yeah, we...
287
00:13:21,967 --> 00:13:23,301
We saw you had that
registered...
288
00:13:23,302 --> 00:13:25,553
I didn't even know
it was registered.
289
00:13:25,554 --> 00:13:27,138
Princess Di
commemorative plates.
290
00:13:27,139 --> 00:13:28,890
- That's really...
- I meant to.
291
00:13:28,891 --> 00:13:31,309
Can you get me
out of this [bleep] cake?
292
00:13:31,310 --> 00:13:33,853
Today is not about you!
Today is not about you!
293
00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:37,190
- Today is Dangle's day.
- Don't upset her.
294
00:13:40,277 --> 00:13:42,696
Hold on. Hold on! Hold on!
Hold on!
295
00:13:44,532 --> 00:13:48,576
Either my edible panties
just disintegrated
296
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:51,079
or my water just broke.
297
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,914
- Oh!
- Oh, my God!
298
00:13:52,915 --> 00:13:53,998
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
299
00:13:53,999 --> 00:13:55,833
There's the slimy
ping-pong ball.
300
00:13:58,587 --> 00:13:59,462
Double time, double time,
double time.
301
00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:02,173
- Double time.
- Okay.
302
00:14:06,262 --> 00:14:10,306
Hey, Enrique, this toy gun I
got from the regular toy store
303
00:14:10,307 --> 00:14:13,476
looks so real.
I bet it could fool anybody.
304
00:14:13,477 --> 00:14:16,688
You're exactly right.
I bet it would even fool a cop.
305
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:17,605
{\an8}Hold it right there.
306
00:14:17,606 --> 00:14:21,609
{\an8}People, on behalf
of law enforcement
307
00:14:21,610 --> 00:14:23,778
{\an8}we think it's real.
308
00:14:23,779 --> 00:14:28,783
Trust me, if people try to shoot
at you on your job all day long
309
00:14:28,784 --> 00:14:32,453
just about anything
would start to look like a gun.
310
00:14:32,454 --> 00:14:34,956
Staplers, a candy bar
311
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:40,545
even GI Joe's black brave
friends, the Tuskegee Airmen.
312
00:14:40,546 --> 00:14:42,630
So, so it sounds like
when I see a police officer
313
00:14:42,631 --> 00:14:45,008
I shouldn't point anything
at him.
314
00:14:45,009 --> 00:14:48,803
Or maybe thank him or her
for making our community safer.
315
00:14:48,804 --> 00:14:53,850
But even better,
don't look at us at all.
316
00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:05,320
- Breathe. Breathe.
- Keep going. Keep going.
317
00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:05,862
Breathe.
318
00:15:08,407 --> 00:15:09,866
Okay, lift the legs.
Lift the legs.
319
00:15:09,867 --> 00:15:12,827
- On three.
- One, two, three.
320
00:15:14,997 --> 00:15:16,706
Somebody's not lifting.
That's not fair.
321
00:15:16,707 --> 00:15:19,334
- The baby's coming.
- Listen up. Listen up.
322
00:15:19,335 --> 00:15:22,378
This is not gonna fit.
This cake is not going in this.
323
00:15:22,379 --> 00:15:23,671
What?
324
00:15:23,672 --> 00:15:26,007
The hospital's
only 25 blocks south-east!
325
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:28,217
- We can do this.
- No!
326
00:15:28,218 --> 00:15:28,801
!
327
00:15:31,430 --> 00:15:33,014
Block off some streets!
328
00:15:34,016 --> 00:15:35,266
Listen to me, alright?
329
00:15:35,267 --> 00:15:37,644
I want you to take your vagina,
and I want you to do this.
330
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:38,478
With your vagina.
331
00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:41,773
you! Ahh!
332
00:15:41,774 --> 00:15:43,733
- Which way?
- Former Avenue.
333
00:15:43,734 --> 00:15:44,817
Former Avenue. [bleep].
334
00:15:44,818 --> 00:15:46,861
Is there a hospital
that is downhill?
335
00:15:46,862 --> 00:15:48,196
Oh, [bleep].
336
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:58,456
{\an8}- 'Help! Help! Help!'
- 'Help! Over! Over! Over!'
337
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:02,418
{\an8}- 'Aah! Hurry! I can't...'
- 'Breathe!'
338
00:16:04,963 --> 00:16:06,714
- 'Nothing to see here.'
- 'Nothing to see here, folks.'
339
00:16:06,715 --> 00:16:09,884
Come on, nothing to see here.
340
00:16:09,885 --> 00:16:12,512
- Nothing to see here.
- Eighteen more blocks to go.
341
00:16:12,513 --> 00:16:13,388
Only eighteen more blocks.
342
00:16:13,389 --> 00:16:15,515
Just hold that little sucker
in there.
343
00:16:15,516 --> 00:16:19,185
Aah! Mother [bleep],
sucker!
344
00:16:19,186 --> 00:16:21,020
- Nothing to see here.
- Breathe!
345
00:16:21,021 --> 00:16:24,899
- Go back. We got a wrong turn.
- 'Double back, everybody.'
346
00:16:24,900 --> 00:16:26,484
- 'Double back!'
- What holiday is it?
347
00:16:26,485 --> 00:16:27,860
'I can't hold it!'
348
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:53,303
- .
- Sorry.
349
00:16:53,887 --> 00:16:56,806
This really [bleep]...
350
00:16:56,807 --> 00:17:01,018
Well, first we'd like
to share our flame with you.
351
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:02,395
Oh, no, no.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
352
00:17:02,396 --> 00:17:04,522
There's oxygen everywhere.
That's absolutely not allowed.
353
00:17:04,523 --> 00:17:07,442
- I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
- Okay.
354
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:10,528
Okay, everybody, mime it.
Mime, mime the flaming circle.
355
00:17:10,529 --> 00:17:11,029
Pretend it.
356
00:17:17,035 --> 00:17:18,995
'Do you have to pretend
there's wind in here too?'
357
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:22,165
There's a, uh, a tape player?
358
00:17:22,166 --> 00:17:25,126
'There was a tape player
at the hall.'
359
00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:26,544
- Is there a tape player?
- No.
360
00:17:26,545 --> 00:17:27,628
At the nurse's station?
361
00:17:27,629 --> 00:17:29,464
'A boom box
or a ghetto blaster?'
362
00:17:29,465 --> 00:17:30,631
- No. I'm sorry.
- No?
363
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:38,347
♪ Someone to hold you
too close ♪
364
00:17:38,348 --> 00:17:39,932
♪ Up here with me James ♪
♪ Some... ♪
♪ Up here with me James ♪
♪ Some... ♪
365
00:17:39,933 --> 00:17:45,229
♪ Someone to hurt you too deep ♪
366
00:17:45,230 --> 00:17:46,063
'I'm flat. I'm sorry.'
367
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:52,570
♪ Being alive ♪
♪ Ali-i-ive ♪
♪ Being alive ♪
♪ Ali-i-ive ♪
368
00:17:52,571 --> 00:18:03,206
♪ Being ali-i-ive ♪
369
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:10,046
♪ Be-e-eing ali-i-ive ♪
370
00:18:10,047 --> 00:18:11,339
♪ Come on ♪
371
00:18:11,340 --> 00:18:14,342
- I can't hold it that long.
- Wow.
372
00:18:14,343 --> 00:18:16,677
It would've been better
with the tape. Yeah.
373
00:18:16,678 --> 00:18:18,346
That's why,
that's why we have the tape.
374
00:18:18,347 --> 00:18:21,808
- You were flat, you were flat.
- I was flat.
375
00:18:21,809 --> 00:18:23,643
- I was flat.
- No, no, I was flat.
376
00:18:23,644 --> 00:18:24,685
- I was flat.
- I was flat.
377
00:18:24,686 --> 00:18:26,688
{\an8}- You were both a little flat.
- Okay.
378
00:18:35,989 --> 00:18:38,866
If anyone here objects
379
00:18:38,867 --> 00:18:42,745
to this same-sex
partnership union...
380
00:18:42,746 --> 00:18:46,333
...you may speak now
or forever hold your peace.
381
00:18:48,669 --> 00:18:51,712
Object, she doesn't mean,
you know, okay?
382
00:18:51,713 --> 00:18:53,798
Not a theoretical.
We're not talking theoreticals.
383
00:18:53,799 --> 00:18:55,299
Okay.
384
00:18:55,300 --> 00:18:59,679
Your love that started out
as a burning ember has now...
385
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:03,224
Hold! Hold! Hold!
386
00:19:03,225 --> 00:19:06,936
Uh, I, uh...
387
00:19:06,937 --> 00:19:08,563
I got something to say.
388
00:19:08,564 --> 00:19:11,315
Far too long the Lord has been
playing three-card Monte
389
00:19:11,316 --> 00:19:12,942
with my soul, my soul mate.
390
00:19:12,943 --> 00:19:17,071
I've been looking high and far
391
00:19:17,072 --> 00:19:17,947
for the person
I wanna share my life with
392
00:19:17,948 --> 00:19:22,285
and [bleep],
I thought it would come
393
00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:25,496
in the shape and form
of a woman...
394
00:19:25,497 --> 00:19:28,249
...but lately, I've,
I've addressed feelings
395
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,335
that I've had for a... man.
396
00:19:32,588 --> 00:19:37,091
'Feelings that are strong
and rock my foundation.'
397
00:19:37,092 --> 00:19:41,178
And this is a man
that I've always admired
398
00:19:41,179 --> 00:19:43,222
his leadership.
399
00:19:43,223 --> 00:19:47,810
And I've always secretly
laughed at his jokes inside
400
00:19:47,811 --> 00:19:50,605
and, uh, I never wanted
to show it until today
401
00:19:50,606 --> 00:19:53,900
and all I know
is what my father told me.
402
00:19:53,901 --> 00:19:56,444
"When love asks you to dance
403
00:19:56,445 --> 00:19:58,195
"you take it by the hand
404
00:19:58,196 --> 00:20:00,448
and you head to the floor."
405
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:07,997
I love you as a friend, okay,
but... you're so not my type.
406
00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:11,542
I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.
407
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:14,504
Shut up, Jim.
408
00:20:17,132 --> 00:20:17,590
- 'Oh!'
- 'Oh, my. Oh, God!'
409
00:20:17,591 --> 00:20:20,301
Avert your eyes.
410
00:20:20,302 --> 00:20:24,138
Leslie, will you dance with me?
411
00:20:24,139 --> 00:20:27,308
Until the last
dance... in heaven.
412
00:20:27,309 --> 00:20:29,061
I'm so happy.
413
00:20:33,023 --> 00:20:36,609
I'm so happy. I'm so happy. Oh!
414
00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:37,945
'Yeah!'
415
00:20:41,657 --> 00:20:43,240
What the [bleep] was that?
416
00:20:43,241 --> 00:20:47,371
{\an8}Jim, I have something
to tell you.
417
00:20:51,625 --> 00:20:54,168
I know who the father is.
31757
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