Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,005 --> 00:00:07,631
- Garcia!
- Garcia!
2
00:00:07,632 --> 00:00:09,258
- Open the door!
- Open up, Garcia!
3
00:00:09,259 --> 00:00:13,053
A cyanide truck
jack-knifed again!
4
00:00:13,054 --> 00:00:14,138
- Cyanide truck?
- Put this on.
5
00:00:14,139 --> 00:00:15,305
Put it on. Yeah.
6
00:00:15,306 --> 00:00:17,433
- Okay, where are we going?
- Let's go.
7
00:00:17,434 --> 00:00:18,768
Let's go! Come on.
8
00:00:21,396 --> 00:00:22,938
What did you put in there?
9
00:00:22,939 --> 00:00:23,731
Ether.
10
00:00:23,732 --> 00:00:26,275
- Aah! Give me five!
- Ha ha ha!
11
00:00:28,611 --> 00:00:29,279
- Whoo!
- 'Come here!'
12
00:00:41,499 --> 00:00:42,791
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
13
00:01:00,518 --> 00:01:02,270
Ho! Ho! Ho!
14
00:01:14,365 --> 00:01:16,325
'Okay. Two words.'
15
00:01:16,326 --> 00:01:18,076
{\an8}- Smells like...
- First word.
16
00:01:18,077 --> 00:01:20,996
{\an8}Watch, time...
17
00:01:20,997 --> 00:01:22,456
Sounds like...
18
00:01:22,457 --> 00:01:24,833
- Drive.
- Drive. Drive by.
19
00:01:24,834 --> 00:01:26,877
- Time card.
- Time card.
20
00:01:26,878 --> 00:01:28,504
- Time card!
- Time card!
21
00:01:28,505 --> 00:01:30,881
Internal affairs wants to see
all of your time cards.
22
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:35,844
They're doing an investigation,
and they're, uh... pretty pissed.
23
00:01:35,845 --> 00:01:36,178
- 'Oh!'
- 'Hey, you're late.'
24
00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:38,722
Yeah.
25
00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,850
'...all at prices so low
and quality so high'
26
00:01:41,851 --> 00:01:45,020
'it's got to be
High Sierra Carpeting.'
27
00:01:45,021 --> 00:01:46,522
- 'Right off I-80 at Exit 57.'
- Hold on.
28
00:01:46,523 --> 00:01:48,232
- 'You want us to buy carpet?'
- No.
29
00:01:48,233 --> 00:01:50,400
'Great carpeting,
better prices.'
30
00:01:50,401 --> 00:01:55,240
♪ And the installation is free ♪
31
00:01:56,783 --> 00:01:58,367
That was, that was me.
32
00:01:58,368 --> 00:01:59,701
- 'No!'
- 'That's you?'
33
00:01:59,702 --> 00:02:01,161
- 'That's me.'
- What?
34
00:02:01,162 --> 00:02:02,663
You're the "Installation
is free" guy?
35
00:02:02,664 --> 00:02:04,248
I'm the High Sierra guy, yeah.
36
00:02:08,002 --> 00:02:09,545
- 'Congratulations!'
- Yeah! I know!
37
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:12,172
I can't believe it, man.
I cannot believe it.
38
00:02:12,173 --> 00:02:15,676
Is that why I see all
the bling-bling over there?
39
00:02:15,677 --> 00:02:17,511
'What's the earrings all
about?'
40
00:02:17,512 --> 00:02:19,388
- 'Yee!'
- Woo-woo!
41
00:02:19,389 --> 00:02:21,223
Stop. Just come on. Come here.
42
00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:23,684
I got to show you something.
Just come here.
43
00:02:23,685 --> 00:02:25,394
- Oh, my goodness!
- Aah!
44
00:02:25,395 --> 00:02:28,647
- That is not your car.
- Black on black.
45
00:02:28,648 --> 00:02:30,691
How much do you get paid,
that you can...
46
00:02:30,692 --> 00:02:33,360
I'm, hey, I'm gettin' paid $200
47
00:02:33,361 --> 00:02:35,404
every time my wonderful
commercial comes on.
48
00:02:35,405 --> 00:02:38,407
But, I heard it like four times
comin' in to work--
49
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,742
Yeah. It's on, like,
every 90 seconds.
50
00:02:40,743 --> 00:02:43,120
Yeah, blah blah blau!
Blah blah blau!
51
00:02:43,121 --> 00:02:44,621
- Dude! Wow!
- Blah blah blau!
52
00:02:44,622 --> 00:02:45,789
Hey, open it up!
53
00:02:45,790 --> 00:02:47,416
Look out, look out,
look out, look out.
54
00:02:47,417 --> 00:02:49,376
Um, open the car for Jonesy.
55
00:02:50,712 --> 00:02:53,297
- Ohh!
- What?
56
00:02:53,298 --> 00:02:55,799
'You know, you got a thing
in your pocket or--'
57
00:02:55,800 --> 00:02:57,759
- No! Okay. Yeah, I do.
- It's voice-activated?
58
00:02:57,760 --> 00:03:00,095
- I got it.
- Oh.
59
00:03:00,096 --> 00:03:01,763
I'm huggin' a star.
Look at that.
60
00:03:01,764 --> 00:03:03,265
Trudy get the [bleep] off
me.
61
00:03:03,266 --> 00:03:04,892
I'm gonna get on this side.
Hey, Jonesy sandwich.
62
00:03:04,893 --> 00:03:05,851
No, don't... She's on me.
63
00:03:05,852 --> 00:03:08,270
- A Jonesy sandwich.
- I don't want her on me!
64
00:03:08,271 --> 00:03:10,397
And I don't want to be hugged,
like, everybody, okay?
65
00:03:10,398 --> 00:03:12,065
- Okay. Just calm down.
- Okay. We're all adults.
66
00:03:17,655 --> 00:03:20,032
{\an8}- Bang!
- Jeez! God!
67
00:03:20,033 --> 00:03:21,325
{\an8}- 'Bang!'
- Jim.
68
00:03:21,326 --> 00:03:23,243
{\an8}'I'm just goin' through it
again in my head.'
69
00:03:23,244 --> 00:03:27,205
How do you get three shots off
on a man with two guns?
70
00:03:27,206 --> 00:03:30,459
And why do you bring him
delicious, piping-hot Arby's
71
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,586
right before you're gonna
blow him away?
72
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,671
'How can Juan...
Don't touch that, Trudy!'
73
00:03:34,672 --> 00:03:36,506
- Jim.
- 'Put it back.'
74
00:03:36,507 --> 00:03:38,675
- The first rule--
- 'Put it back.'
75
00:03:38,676 --> 00:03:39,593
- Let's go from the top, okay?
- 'Okay.'
76
00:03:39,594 --> 00:03:43,305
Don't mind me.
I'm just doing cocaine.
77
00:03:43,306 --> 00:03:46,434
- Hey, Rico.
- 'Hey.'
78
00:03:49,062 --> 00:03:51,271
- What you doin' with my blow?
- Just snortin' it.
79
00:03:51,272 --> 00:03:53,231
'I went out to get you
a delicious, piping-hot'
80
00:03:53,232 --> 00:03:54,816
Arby's roast beef sandwich
81
00:03:54,817 --> 00:03:57,986
and I find out you're doin'
my blow while I'm gone?
82
00:03:57,987 --> 00:04:01,490
Jim... this makes
your mouth numb.
83
00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:03,492
'Don't do that, for real.'
84
00:04:03,493 --> 00:04:05,369
- From the top.
- 'Okay.'
85
00:04:05,370 --> 00:04:08,164
Places! Ha ha. Okay.
86
00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:10,666
'I'm sorry.'
87
00:04:10,667 --> 00:04:13,377
Oh, hey, Rico. I'm back.
I'm actin' casual.
88
00:04:13,378 --> 00:04:15,462
I'm bein' cool. Nothin's up.
Nothin's up at all.
89
00:04:15,463 --> 00:04:18,674
All I did was go get some
delicious, piping-hot Arby's.
90
00:04:18,675 --> 00:04:20,717
I see you're jacking [bleep],
in this scenario.
91
00:04:20,718 --> 00:04:23,512
Okay, well, I got a delicious
92
00:04:23,513 --> 00:04:27,849
beef and cheddar for you.
93
00:04:27,850 --> 00:04:31,520
And, boom!
You're goin' downtown.
94
00:04:31,521 --> 00:04:34,481
Last time you were short
on the count, mother[bleep].
95
00:04:34,482 --> 00:04:36,483
- Monkey roll, monkey--
- Okay, that's a trajectory.
96
00:04:36,484 --> 00:04:37,818
It's okay.
Keep goin', keep goin'.
97
00:04:37,819 --> 00:04:39,528
'One, two, three.'
98
00:04:39,529 --> 00:04:42,364
And I thought I'd bring you
a little peace offering
99
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:43,824
some delicious Arby's.
100
00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:44,533
Go back...
No, no, no. No, no, no.
101
00:04:44,534 --> 00:04:46,994
- This never happened.
- Oh.
102
00:04:46,995 --> 00:04:47,786
This never happened
that we know of.
103
00:04:47,787 --> 00:04:49,371
- Okay.
- You go back on cou...
104
00:04:49,372 --> 00:04:52,374
No. Go back. Rico.
105
00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,423
{\an8}Oh, whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa. Whoa, whoa.
106
00:04:59,424 --> 00:05:02,759
{\an8}'Good carpeting, better
prices.'
107
00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:04,511
{\an8}♪ And the installation is free ♪
108
00:05:04,512 --> 00:05:06,513
{\an8}Ahh!
109
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:08,515
- Whoo-whoo!
- Yeah.
110
00:05:08,516 --> 00:05:10,600
- Yeah.
- Ha ha. That's me.
111
00:05:10,601 --> 00:05:13,061
- That's him.
- That's me, Timothy.
112
00:05:13,062 --> 00:05:13,937
- That's you?
- Yeah.
113
00:05:13,938 --> 00:05:16,189
- That was my commercial.
- That was you?
114
00:05:16,190 --> 00:05:18,567
♪ And the installation is free ♪
115
00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:20,819
- Oh, hell, no! That was you?
- Yeah. Mm-hmm.
116
00:05:20,820 --> 00:05:22,571
Oh, man! Hey, man, you think,
like, when I get out
117
00:05:22,572 --> 00:05:24,906
or something, we could do
something together?
118
00:05:24,907 --> 00:05:26,450
Why, you-you-you in the...
You in the industry?
119
00:05:26,451 --> 00:05:30,704
Yeah, man! You-you can't tell
I know Shug?
120
00:05:30,705 --> 00:05:33,123
- Man, that's crazy, man--
- No, y'all don't understand!
121
00:05:33,124 --> 00:05:33,415
- You do?
- Yeah.
122
00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:34,666
I rap!
123
00:05:34,667 --> 00:05:37,294
♪ I saw somebody
I killed him too ♪
124
00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,587
♪ He tried to run from me
so then I killed him ♪
125
00:05:38,588 --> 00:05:42,090
♪ And then he tried to run
I shot him killed him ♪
126
00:05:42,091 --> 00:05:43,633
♪ Kill him run I shot him
don't run don't run again ♪
127
00:05:43,634 --> 00:05:47,597
♪ Punk don't run again punk
don't run again punk ♪
128
00:05:49,807 --> 00:05:51,308
That didn't rhyme, man.
129
00:05:51,309 --> 00:05:55,270
♪ And the installation is free ♪
130
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,397
♪ Ta tee-tee ta-ta ♪
131
00:05:57,398 --> 00:06:00,275
♪ You use your diaphragm
ta ta... ♪
132
00:06:00,276 --> 00:06:03,237
My girlfriend wore a diaphragm,
I still got a baby.
133
00:06:10,036 --> 00:06:11,953
{\an8}'Hi, Rico.'
134
00:06:11,954 --> 00:06:13,830
{\an8}I just got back
with that delicious Arby's
135
00:06:13,831 --> 00:06:14,873
{\an8}you asked me to get.
136
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:18,251
{\an8}- 'Thanks for the Arby's,
Juan.'
- I'm clean, man.
137
00:06:18,252 --> 00:06:20,754
'I'm gonna have
to check it out.'
138
00:06:20,755 --> 00:06:22,964
Check all you want, okay?
139
00:06:22,965 --> 00:06:24,257
'Check other places.'
140
00:06:24,258 --> 00:06:25,050
This is probably
what he would do.
141
00:06:25,051 --> 00:06:27,928
Okay, don't...
Hey, Trudy, Trudy.
142
00:06:27,929 --> 00:06:30,430
Okay. Okay, we get it.
We get it, okay?
143
00:06:30,431 --> 00:06:32,641
Disfrute, Rico. Disfrute.
144
00:06:32,642 --> 00:06:34,976
'There's over a $1,000 here.'
145
00:06:34,977 --> 00:06:36,812
Pay attention
for five [bleep] seconds.
146
00:06:36,813 --> 00:06:38,647
- 'That's not important so--'
- Tengala caya!
147
00:06:38,648 --> 00:06:42,776
Par bull[bleep]! Cara maya!
148
00:06:42,777 --> 00:06:45,779
Oh! Monkey roll,
monkey roll, monkey roll.
149
00:06:45,780 --> 00:06:48,281
Jim, you got to act out
what you thought it was.
150
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:49,407
'I know. I-I agree.'
151
00:06:49,408 --> 00:06:51,493
'But you didn't do the part
that I asked you to do.'
152
00:06:51,494 --> 00:06:52,953
- What part?
- Hey, enjoy.
153
00:06:52,954 --> 00:06:54,996
It's my little gift-a
to you, okay?
154
00:06:54,997 --> 00:06:56,498
You have a nice time.
155
00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:57,999
Eating Arby's, eating Arby's.
156
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:58,875
Eating Arby's, eating Arby's.
157
00:06:58,876 --> 00:07:01,545
- Boom!
- 'Monkey roll, monkey roll--'
158
00:07:01,546 --> 00:07:02,546
Uh, I was gettin' to poison,
not monkey roll.
159
00:07:02,547 --> 00:07:05,674
- 'Oh.'
- Poison.
160
00:07:05,675 --> 00:07:07,384
'And now that I've poisoned
you'
161
00:07:07,385 --> 00:07:10,679
'I'm gonna send a message to all
the other capos and jefes'
162
00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:13,014
'and it's gonna go like this.'
163
00:07:13,015 --> 00:07:17,853
Bam, bam, shoot the man
who's already dead.
164
00:07:17,854 --> 00:07:18,520
That's it.
165
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:21,857
Hey, Travis. FBI.
166
00:07:21,858 --> 00:07:24,317
- FBI?
- 'Yes, I can hold.'
167
00:07:24,318 --> 00:07:25,694
I'm on hold with the FBI.
We got it. We cracked it.
168
00:07:25,695 --> 00:07:27,737
You cracked it?
You figured it out?
169
00:07:27,738 --> 00:07:29,698
Yeah. Already dead.
170
00:07:29,699 --> 00:07:31,074
- Already dead?
- Poisoned.
171
00:07:31,075 --> 00:07:32,701
Why'd they shoot him
three times?
172
00:07:32,702 --> 00:07:33,577
Message to the other jefes.
173
00:07:33,578 --> 00:07:36,246
- Yeah.
- That makes sense.
174
00:07:36,247 --> 00:07:36,705
Message.
That's to send a message.
175
00:07:36,706 --> 00:07:38,748
'Hey, hey, hey.'
176
00:07:38,749 --> 00:07:40,793
Yeah?
177
00:07:41,627 --> 00:07:43,670
What are you doin'?
178
00:07:43,671 --> 00:07:46,173
- 'It's evidence.'
- No, remember?
179
00:07:46,174 --> 00:07:47,799
'Before I put the tape up,
I-I got Arby's.'
180
00:07:47,800 --> 00:07:49,718
You said you were gonna
come in, I should leave you
181
00:07:49,719 --> 00:07:51,887
some delicious Arby's
on the table.
182
00:07:51,888 --> 00:07:54,556
'Cause you wanted some Arby's,
too. It's cold though.
183
00:07:54,557 --> 00:07:56,516
You guys have been in here
for like seven hours.
184
00:07:56,517 --> 00:07:57,934
I hope they don't
have caller ID.
185
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:59,561
Oh!
186
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:02,898
The FBI probably
has caller ID, right?
187
00:08:02,899 --> 00:08:04,065
I would think.
188
00:08:04,066 --> 00:08:05,734
, they're callin' back.
Great.
189
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:14,034
Yeah, let's sing that again.
190
00:08:14,035 --> 00:08:17,287
♪ And the installation is free ♪
191
00:08:17,288 --> 00:08:19,748
Y-you're
butchering it, alright?
192
00:08:19,749 --> 00:08:21,583
You are butchering my [bleep].
193
00:08:21,584 --> 00:08:22,918
- He's pretty good, man.
- Thank you--
194
00:08:22,919 --> 00:08:26,087
No, don't give him none
of that! No, no dap, alright?
195
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:28,465
You're
butchering my song.
196
00:08:28,466 --> 00:08:30,717
Butcherin' it? So you tryin'
to pin somethin' else on me!
197
00:08:30,718 --> 00:08:34,596
♪ Timothy you don't want
to see me kill you do you? ♪
198
00:08:34,597 --> 00:08:36,223
♪ Because it'll be
the last thing you see ♪
199
00:08:36,224 --> 00:08:37,807
♪ When you close your eyes
and you see Timothy ♪
200
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:41,228
♪ Creepin' in your bedroom
shoot you in your face ♪
201
00:08:41,229 --> 00:08:43,230
♪ Right in the face
no other place ♪
202
00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:46,191
♪ Can't be erased can't be
replaced it's just me Timothy ♪
203
00:08:46,192 --> 00:08:47,651
♪ Shoot shoot kill kill ♪
204
00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:50,571
♪ I kill the cops
all the time and everybody ♪
205
00:08:54,325 --> 00:08:56,201
W-what you do? You-you do what?
206
00:09:03,876 --> 00:09:07,462
Ho! Ho, ho, ho! Ho!
Here it comes.
207
00:09:07,463 --> 00:09:08,630
{\an8}'Good carpeting, better
prices.'
208
00:09:08,631 --> 00:09:12,467
♪ And the installation is free ♪
209
00:09:12,468 --> 00:09:15,262
Wow! That is awesome.
210
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:16,805
- I know.
- That is so good.
211
00:09:16,806 --> 00:09:17,973
I'm blessed.
212
00:09:17,974 --> 00:09:19,516
So the deal is like, everybody
213
00:09:19,517 --> 00:09:21,977
they're gettin' calls sayin',
"Hey, we love that-that voice.
214
00:09:21,978 --> 00:09:24,437
It's so beautiful,
you gotta make a TV commercial."
215
00:09:24,438 --> 00:09:25,647
That's what they were sayin'?
216
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:28,650
That's awesome, man.
That's so cool.
217
00:09:28,651 --> 00:09:30,402
You want one of these?
218
00:09:30,403 --> 00:09:31,570
No, I'm alright.
219
00:09:32,572 --> 00:09:33,822
Uh...
220
00:09:33,823 --> 00:09:36,366
Oh, yeah, cool. Thanks, man.
221
00:09:36,367 --> 00:09:37,867
From the High Sierra Carpet man.
222
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,619
Cool, I'm just gonna save it
and tell people
223
00:09:39,620 --> 00:09:41,454
when they ask,
"Where'd you get that?"
224
00:09:41,455 --> 00:09:43,331
"Oh, my homey does
High Sierra Carpet's--"
225
00:09:43,332 --> 00:09:44,332
Well, I mean,
you can chew it now.
226
00:09:44,333 --> 00:09:45,667
- You don't... I mean...
- But I wanna save it.
227
00:09:45,668 --> 00:09:48,837
Y-you know the High Sierra
carpeting man. So, go ahead--
228
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,922
Well, what if I run into
somebody and then I'm like "Oh"
229
00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:52,048
and it leads to
a good casual conversation.
230
00:09:52,049 --> 00:09:55,343
They're like, "Mmm, hey, Jim,
where'd you get that gum?"
231
00:09:55,344 --> 00:09:56,970
"Oh, you know,
I was hangin' out with my homey.
232
00:09:56,971 --> 00:09:58,138
"You probably know him.
233
00:09:58,139 --> 00:09:59,014
"He does the High Sierra
Carpet commercials.
234
00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,849
He sings "And the
installation's free--"
235
00:10:00,850 --> 00:10:01,683
I mean, I've got 'em.
I mean, I have more.
236
00:10:01,684 --> 00:10:03,685
You-you know, you can do it now.
237
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,395
Well, can I have some
to have and then
238
00:10:05,396 --> 00:10:07,314
some to talk about you later?
239
00:10:07,315 --> 00:10:08,315
- Oh, yeah.
- Cool.
240
00:10:08,316 --> 00:10:08,899
So you can have it now?
241
00:10:10,776 --> 00:10:12,360
I'm gonna save 'em both.
242
00:10:12,361 --> 00:10:14,863
{\an8}- Alright.
- Sheriff's Department!
243
00:10:14,864 --> 00:10:18,700
{\an8}We are responding to a 911 call.
Shots have been fired.
244
00:10:18,701 --> 00:10:19,744
'Sheriff's department!'
245
00:10:21,620 --> 00:10:23,371
Well, hell.
246
00:10:23,372 --> 00:10:26,042
- What?
- What the [bleep]?
247
00:10:26,959 --> 00:10:29,462
- Ho.
- Dutch boy.
248
00:10:31,797 --> 00:10:34,257
Thank you for coming, officers!
249
00:10:34,258 --> 00:10:36,343
- Oh, [bleep]! Ow!
- Damn it!
250
00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:41,431
Holy [bleep]!
251
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:43,683
- That stung like a--
- Alright.
252
00:10:43,684 --> 00:10:45,435
Spotter two-in-one compact.
253
00:10:45,436 --> 00:10:49,189
Two-in-one, '68 caliber,
semi-automatic.
254
00:10:49,190 --> 00:10:51,358
The thing'll fire about
200 shots a second.
255
00:10:51,359 --> 00:10:52,901
No mercy!
256
00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:54,903
- Let's go.
- Let's go.
257
00:10:54,904 --> 00:10:56,780
'Come on, now. Come on!'
258
00:10:56,781 --> 00:10:58,865
If you [bleep] with me,
you [bleep] with my family!
259
00:10:58,866 --> 00:11:01,743
- you!
- Holy [bleep].
260
00:11:01,744 --> 00:11:05,663
'Alright, we're-we're gonna
give you just one last chance.'
261
00:11:05,664 --> 00:11:09,417
Lay down your weapons...
, damn it!
262
00:11:21,013 --> 00:11:23,473
911, the police need help!
263
00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:24,891
'The police need help.
Come on, 911.'
264
00:11:32,191 --> 00:11:35,069
Thank you for coming.
Thank you for responding.
265
00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:37,445
Help! Attack! Attack!
266
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:43,952
Where you goin'?
267
00:11:48,707 --> 00:11:49,958
Bye! Bye!
268
00:11:59,885 --> 00:12:02,430
{\an8}I've got you.
269
00:12:03,222 --> 00:12:05,098
{\an8}Oh, damn!
270
00:12:05,099 --> 00:12:05,932
Get him. Get him. Get him.
271
00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:08,436
'Go, go, go, go, go!'
272
00:12:10,896 --> 00:12:12,939
Okay, hold on. Hold on.
Hold on. It's a dead end.
273
00:12:12,940 --> 00:12:16,818
We'll both lower our voices.
Lower your voice and say...
274
00:12:16,819 --> 00:12:19,988
And say, "Go ahead,
make my day."
275
00:12:19,989 --> 00:12:21,197
- Then, boom...
- That's tacky.
276
00:12:21,198 --> 00:12:22,657
I'm not saying that.
I'm not saying that.
277
00:12:22,658 --> 00:12:23,992
What you mean
you're not sayin' it?
278
00:12:23,993 --> 00:12:28,163
Say something original. Say,
"You're goin' down, syndrome!"
279
00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:29,164
Pssh! Hitch kick.
280
00:12:29,165 --> 00:12:32,792
No, no, no. Ooh, okay,
okay, okay, okay, okay.
281
00:12:32,793 --> 00:12:37,172
"Mama's gonna teach you
a lesson."
282
00:12:37,173 --> 00:12:38,089
It's long,
but I like to call myself mama.
283
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:39,841
So, let's do that one.
That's fine. Okay.
284
00:12:39,842 --> 00:12:43,136
One, two, three.
285
00:12:43,137 --> 00:12:46,014
Mama's gonna teach you a lesson!
286
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:49,226
'I'm gonna teach you
something!'
287
00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,353
'I'm mama!'
288
00:12:52,354 --> 00:12:53,898
'What the hell?'
289
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,567
'It's locked.'
290
00:12:57,568 --> 00:13:00,028
'Joe, are you out there? Joe?'
291
00:13:03,908 --> 00:13:06,577
{\an8}We take you now live to
the Reno Sheriff's Department.
292
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:10,330
{\an8}My butt itches.
293
00:13:27,806 --> 00:13:32,727
{\an8}You're real good
at sound effects.
294
00:13:41,153 --> 00:13:43,404
{\an8}'Psst! Hey.'
295
00:13:43,405 --> 00:13:46,241
{\an8}'Hey, you're on the air.'
296
00:13:46,242 --> 00:13:48,576
{\an8}'You're on the air!'
297
00:13:48,577 --> 00:13:49,912
{\an8}What'd you do?
298
00:13:51,872 --> 00:13:53,122
{\an8}Oh, I don't...
299
00:13:53,123 --> 00:13:55,166
{\an8}Good-good afternoon.
300
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:56,751
{\an8}I don't know which one
to talk into.
301
00:14:07,096 --> 00:14:09,430
- How you doin' today, sir?
- 'I'm alright.'
302
00:14:09,431 --> 00:14:10,723
You know why I pulled you over?
303
00:14:10,724 --> 00:14:11,766
'No.'
304
00:14:11,767 --> 00:14:13,226
You was driving all over
the road back there
305
00:14:13,227 --> 00:14:13,935
like some kind
of [bleep] maniac.
306
00:14:13,936 --> 00:14:15,144
- 'Bull [bleep].'
- Bull...
307
00:14:15,145 --> 00:14:17,397
- You step out the vehicle, sir.
- 'Huh?'
308
00:14:17,398 --> 00:14:20,316
- Step out the vehicle.
- 'Alright. Hang on.'
309
00:14:20,317 --> 00:14:22,695
Whoa! Missed me.
310
00:14:31,870 --> 00:14:34,956
"You are cordially invited
to the world premiere
311
00:14:34,957 --> 00:14:38,251
{\an8}"of the new High Sierra
Carpeting commercial
312
00:14:38,252 --> 00:14:41,462
{\an8}featuring your pal Jones E."
313
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,965
{\an8}And he signed Jones dot E.
314
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,010
- 'Oh.'
- 'That's classy.'
315
00:14:53,058 --> 00:14:55,226
- Can I get your autograph?
- Oh, I don't know.
316
00:14:55,227 --> 00:14:56,853
I don't know about that. Maybe.
317
00:14:56,854 --> 00:15:01,482
Dearly beloved...
we are gathered here
318
00:15:01,483 --> 00:15:05,028
to witness a star being born.
319
00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:08,990
A star who will shine for many,
many, many, many, many leagues.
320
00:15:08,991 --> 00:15:12,493
And this moment is almost
as big as I am
321
00:15:12,494 --> 00:15:15,580
and I have some important people
that I want to thank.
322
00:15:16,790 --> 00:15:18,458
Yes, yes, yes, yes.
323
00:15:18,459 --> 00:15:21,669
First and foremost, you, Kiki.
324
00:15:21,670 --> 00:15:26,007
The woman I met
three days ago, uh... on...
325
00:15:26,008 --> 00:15:29,135
It was a-a boat of love
326
00:15:29,136 --> 00:15:35,350
a, uh... a cornucopia
of... doin' it.
327
00:15:35,351 --> 00:15:39,187
And I-I am so glad
that you are in my life.
328
00:15:39,188 --> 00:15:45,693
♪ I love you ♪
329
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:51,742
I love this bitch.
And so let's make a toast to me.
330
00:15:53,243 --> 00:15:54,202
- Jonesy!
- Look, everyone! It's on!
331
00:15:54,203 --> 00:15:56,830
- 'Oh, my God.'
- Shh, shh, shh!
332
00:15:57,998 --> 00:16:00,792
{\an8}'It's gotta be
High Sierra Carpeting.'
333
00:16:00,793 --> 00:16:02,502
{\an8}'Right off I-80 at Exit 57...'
334
00:16:02,503 --> 00:16:05,172
{\an8}'Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!
Here comes me! Here I come.'
335
00:16:06,423 --> 00:16:12,513
{\an8}♪ And the installation is free ♪
336
00:16:15,307 --> 00:16:18,059
Where were you in it?
337
00:16:18,060 --> 00:16:20,436
Maybe that's the
second version of it.
338
00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:21,897
I...
339
00:16:23,857 --> 00:16:25,234
Baby? Kiki!
340
00:16:26,276 --> 00:16:28,278
'Baby girl, come here!'
341
00:16:32,366 --> 00:16:34,158
That turtle didn't
even look like me!
342
00:16:34,159 --> 00:16:36,744
'You sounded good, though.'
343
00:16:36,745 --> 00:16:40,123
Hey! Jones! Yeah!
344
00:16:40,124 --> 00:16:42,250
Saw the commercial.
Hey, what happened, dude?
345
00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:45,754
Seven-hour shoot, and a turtle.
346
00:16:47,131 --> 00:16:48,840
You went with that?
347
00:16:48,841 --> 00:16:50,426
Well, what happened to me?
348
00:16:54,513 --> 00:16:56,305
Camera ready. Okay.
349
00:16:56,306 --> 00:16:57,223
Um, what happened...
350
00:16:57,224 --> 00:17:01,018
I've only gotten
one payment. $200.
351
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:03,438
What happened... I haven't
even gotten all my checks.
352
00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:07,943
So... one time.
353
00:17:11,697 --> 00:17:12,698
Okay.
354
00:17:17,745 --> 00:17:19,288
- That's all? That's it?
- 'That's it.'
355
00:17:28,005 --> 00:17:30,924
'Oh, [bleep]. Hey, did he pay
for all this, Crystal?'
356
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:35,970
Emergency! Emergency!
357
00:17:35,971 --> 00:17:38,181
Sir, there's just been
a 911 call in the vicinity.
358
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:40,933
We'll be right back
to pay that bill.
359
00:17:40,934 --> 00:17:41,392
Sheriff's department!
360
00:17:50,903 --> 00:17:51,360
You've got insurance
and everything
361
00:17:51,361 --> 00:17:53,279
for places like this?
362
00:17:53,280 --> 00:17:55,490
Yeah. Alright.
363
00:17:55,491 --> 00:17:57,158
'He's breathing, though,
right?'
364
00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:58,327
Yeah, he's alive.
365
00:17:59,912 --> 00:18:03,665
So what exactly did you do
to that poor boy?
366
00:18:19,890 --> 00:18:22,016
'About how much does that run?'
367
00:18:22,017 --> 00:18:25,228
Oh. Alright.
368
00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:28,022
Uh, Dangle, we need
to wrap this up
369
00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:30,358
and I probably need to get
to a cash machine.
370
00:18:36,448 --> 00:18:38,157
{\an8}Oh, wait a minute. Here we go.
371
00:18:38,158 --> 00:18:40,827
{\an8}'Here we go. Lordy, Lordy.'
372
00:18:40,828 --> 00:18:42,162
{\an8}'Okay.'
373
00:18:43,288 --> 00:18:46,834
Well, Ollie, Ollie,
all come free, huh?
374
00:18:47,417 --> 00:18:49,377
- Hey.
- What?
375
00:18:49,378 --> 00:18:51,296
I'm glad you're safe, okay?
376
00:18:52,297 --> 00:18:57,051
Okay? You had a hard night,
I know.
377
00:18:57,052 --> 00:18:58,219
- Your girlfriend left you--
- 'I'm ruined!'
378
00:18:58,220 --> 00:19:01,222
- 'No, you're not ruined.'
- James, I'm ruined!
379
00:19:01,223 --> 00:19:05,226
- Everyone hates me!
- Nobody hates you, okay?
380
00:19:05,227 --> 00:19:07,270
- We all love you.
- They all hate me!
381
00:19:07,271 --> 00:19:10,940
Trudy threw a bottle at me.
382
00:19:10,941 --> 00:19:12,733
I know. Well, don't
worry about Trudy.
383
00:19:12,734 --> 00:19:14,527
She doesn't matter
anyways, okay?
384
00:19:14,528 --> 00:19:20,241
'I'm a turtle now!
I am useless!'
385
00:19:20,242 --> 00:19:21,409
- 'But, that's you!'
- No, it's not!
386
00:19:21,410 --> 00:19:23,911
I'm 'not a turtle!
387
00:19:23,912 --> 00:19:25,288
That [bleep] doesn't
look like me.
388
00:19:25,289 --> 00:19:27,582
'You brought that.'
389
00:19:27,583 --> 00:19:32,879
You know what it means to love
something-somebody?
390
00:19:32,880 --> 00:19:34,672
- Yes, I know.
- Kiki!
391
00:19:34,673 --> 00:19:35,840
Kiki was a whore.
392
00:19:35,841 --> 00:19:39,385
Have you ever [bleep] somebody
for three days in a van?
393
00:19:39,386 --> 00:19:41,470
Huh? Have you?
394
00:19:41,471 --> 00:19:46,184
What happens to a man
when his dream is deferred?
395
00:19:47,477 --> 00:19:50,104
- Your dream's right there.
- No, it's [bleep]!
396
00:19:50,105 --> 00:19:52,398
! Turtle,
I'm gonna [bleep] you up!
397
00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:56,528
Aah! It didn't [bleep] break!
398
00:19:58,822 --> 00:20:00,907
Let me tell you something.
399
00:20:00,908 --> 00:20:03,075
In my book, you made it.
400
00:20:03,076 --> 00:20:04,785
You're like the astronauts
that went to the moon.
401
00:20:04,786 --> 00:20:07,246
Maybe you didn't get out
like Neil Armstrong
402
00:20:07,247 --> 00:20:08,748
but you made it
to the moon, my friend.
403
00:20:08,749 --> 00:20:11,417
'How many people get
to dance with the stars? Huh?'
404
00:20:11,418 --> 00:20:14,922
You got to dance with the stars.
405
00:20:16,715 --> 00:20:18,299
Tell ya, I d-don't know
what I would've done
406
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:22,470
if I would've lost you
to Hollywood.
407
00:20:22,471 --> 00:20:25,514
I mean, I'm happy for... the
success you might've had
408
00:20:25,515 --> 00:20:30,019
but I would've lost
a good friend, and a partner
409
00:20:30,020 --> 00:20:32,438
and, dare I say
410
00:20:32,439 --> 00:20:36,317
somebody I think of us,
maybe a brother of mine.
411
00:20:36,318 --> 00:20:38,152
A brother I never had.
412
00:20:38,153 --> 00:20:40,988
And if there's
any good news to this
413
00:20:40,989 --> 00:20:44,368
I guess it's that we could still
continue to be partners.
414
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:51,582
Oh, I wanna go to a strip club.
415
00:20:51,583 --> 00:20:55,754
- You wanna go to a strip club?
- Y-y-yes.
416
00:21:03,428 --> 00:21:07,515
Boy, I sure learned
a lot this week.
417
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:09,892
A lot about friendship.
418
00:21:09,893 --> 00:21:14,355
And keeping your feet
on the ground.
419
00:21:14,356 --> 00:21:17,149
If you like to learn a little
bit more about voiceover work
420
00:21:17,150 --> 00:21:18,526
and or law enforcement
421
00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,862
why don't you check out
your local library.
422
00:21:21,863 --> 00:21:23,865
I'm sure they'll be
able to help you out.
31318
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof